[Vinesauce] Joel - Garbagefield Saves Christmas

all right so we're gonna be checking out something that's uh I don't know if I want to label a fan game or I don't know what you want to call it but this is from Sarah X diamond Zarek's diamond did a fantastic memorable level in the doom competition zero also submitted are submitted but they're really really funny romhack of the Garfield but anyway yeah this has been a long awaited it's garbage filled saves Christmas and III assume this game was actually just like a its own thing but it's actually a a game for the the Sega Master System I did not expect that but regardless we're gonna be checking it out say what it's all about and yeah but funnily enough Xerox DOM is a game of this this emulator I've never heard about I was like [ __ ] what's it called mica mica and it crashed my PC so I had an extensive B or B where I'm like man everything's crashing so I opted in to use retroarch instead so you know anyway uh that's further ado we're gonna read the manual here should probably put this on screen as well so we can take it all in garbage filled saves Christmas official hughster and strategy guide game information garbage feels saves Christmas is best described as sort of official novel okay game that's also a choose-your-own-adventure this game is very easy to play you simply decide on the number buttons on the Sega Master System Controller advanced or text on the bottom of the screen then then when presented with a set of choices select the one you want to be using okay well let's see here while it's a dirt simple game remember the dirt can hide a lot of things deep down beneath gcx or DCC sorry garbage feel says Christmas cuz there's no less than 365 unique images spread across Damus a lot doses different story paths there are many different roads to take but while some paths lead to some something resembling victory only one ending it's the real one can you find it well [ __ ] there's a quality disclaimers while I squashed every bug I'm capable of fixing myself there are several problems that are part of the game ended or the engine that I'm using it that I sadly cannot avoid it the present the engine Sam is frankly pretty poorly put together and is there very obvious memories just at times the followed bugs are the one wasn't working fix okay interesting a lot of RAM crashes apparently it's a lot of saves I guess the best of voice I can give you regardless it's safe state before making choices the bugs can literally be avoided most of the time by simply reloading and trying again now I don't know why the hell that's the case but just go with it and I'm sorry I don't realize how buggy this is okay some general testing where we start say state when you get to the choices a hard reset will fix issues with the fault getting garble don't mash the buttons to skip through the tech so this is put together by toothpicks and glue alright and remember as dwarf fortress would say losing is fun try everything even that sounds like a horrible idea okay well everybody let us play garbage filled saves Christmas I love it I love it [Music] okay well I am excited well start the game man use a questionable lovable garbage filled awakened in darkness groggily fumbling around and old shoes you stand on the brush the top of your head on coats oh yes you slept in the closet again last night too after all Joel really doesn't like you very much and then last night he probably tied one on he'll probably think he made a real-ass himself when he edits that out stream excuse me but you thought it was pretty funny especially the part where he brought that awful letter to Santa calling him a fat old jerk was maybe a bit harsh but the part where he said he prefers Satan Satan's Claus - Santa Claus was pretty clever wordplay for a guy whose brain was swimming in booze good thing - that was all a gag you or else he'll definitely have ruined Christmas then again he did he did put it in no envelope and address it and stamped it and I mean sure that was part of the gag - but he did remember doing that this morning right he's certainly gonna black out the part of his memory and set it off through the mail right yeah you better check you opening the door and stepping out do you rush over to check out and find yes as you feared Joel totally forgot what was in the envelope and already sent the letter oh no this is terrible if Jo's Christmas is ruined he's probably going to blame it on you and if you blame said and if he blames and if he blames reading blame sit on you who knows what he'll do it looks like it's up to you to save Christmas garbage filled it do you have what it takes are you a bad enough dude to save Christmas probably not but you're probably going to try anyway okay [Music] your engulfs studio apartment okay thinking about your next move should be at this point you could just be take off or you can take waste time [ __ ] around in the house a bit you probably want to waste some time if we're saving Christmas right oh boy real music everybody by the way my kitchen is smaller than this just so you know it's way small it doesn't even have like a counter it has like a quarter of this you know but anyway listen to some tunes check jilsuk computer let's keep my computer oh my god you wander over and sit yourself down in front of all this this is accurate though sit in front of Joel's computer this is the place where magic happens or as Joel might put it the place where dreams go to die that Joel always joking here anyhow another you have to computer what are you going to do check my website pika Jo's email nothing never mind but this ought to be good Deepika Joel to email you know you shoot it but hey what's it gonna hurt who's gonna know right I'm done just a little bit more okay right without second thought you click over to two tab containing Joel's inbox and have yourself a peek let's see what we got here looks like it's pretty much the same old stuff gushie fan letters angry factual people begging Joel to play their favorite highly explicit hentai games yeah pretty much par for the course is you're about to walk away something catches your eye uncle Joel - Joel you ruled you [ __ ] idiot please play Knights of Zin tour oh hey it's an email from VAR steel for fan and contributor iron m13 you're not entirely sure but you just can't get enough of that guy oddly it seems Joel Summa totally missed this one so you click on and open to see what his good old z8z etics has to say ha neat apparently it's got the source files a server software some amazing train wreck of an MMORPG from the late 90s there was a crack II crappy knockoff of Zelda 3 you know it's Joe likes Link to the Past and has talked about playing it an MMO with Chad and thought this would be a great idea and a parent please offer to co-host the stream with him CC knows all about it and after all Joel did say has a really good voice dude those senses understand if Jolin and wanted them the email answer the polite thank you hopes that he'll hear back soon here see this email months ago it would be a real shame theists leave this email on answered since Joel apparently missed it you can always stand in for a fitting for him after all what kind of possibly hurt shed Garver's feel safe and relations before you say is Christmas no but remember hmm okay listen listen it takes me time it takes me time okay no guys you pick you pick you you pick him yes I'm gonna say yes you decide to make to take matters into your own hands and answer the email yourself after all it'd be rude to leave a fan hanging did but how will you respond chromis the stream with dissent head no no no no no no no no no no no no this is this is ridiculous it's ridiculous don't I'm gonna corner now I don't like this I don't like this [Music] but you know you know what you know I thought you know what here's thing though it's carpets fields say it send an email not me okay you're right the Fallen response there Ian this is the greatest idea I've ever heard in my entire life you are so cool and awesome and I absolutely want to stream whatever game you have to offer and have you on with me we'd be best friends forever also take again for that cool garbage filled game and that cool map the garbage filled in it Garfield is also really great and I'm also you you made a game about him I did I already say that we should be best friends forever because we should I will definitely get back to you to plan how we're going to do this in the next few days you will absolutely be hearing from me thank you for writing me and best of luck in your own streaming endeavors sincerely Joel bark shelter Jarvis in there that should do it you're not exactly sure how this is going to pan out considering you made these promises and not Joel himself but hey everything will work out fine right but [ __ ] you it's like metal layers of them oh sure I miss some textured image well I mean they're perfect grab a snack in its best on the trip it's best not to try and figure out how to save Christmas on an empty stomach so you rummage around the kitchen looking for something to eat unfortunately most of its in the fridge right now and it's pretty old like Essen you're pretty sure the takeout box on the top shelf dates back to the Holy Roman Empire and that blue [ __ ] sitting way in the back it may or may not what maybe what killed the dinosaurs so unless you're interested in drinking ketchup straight from the cut bottle is too covered for you no Pepsi this is not canon rummaging through the cupboards is most of stuff that's gonna take take cooking to eat it there's simply no time to cook up noodles damn it the only things you can come up with they because soon without prep time are a single candy cane and a can of suturing of okay four reasons all of the narrator can explain whoever that might be garbage filled can't only grab one of these snacks so which one should it be [Music] it tell me yeah this is Trimingham are you sure all right sir you got the key on asustor me you tuck it away for safekeeping em know what they quit yeah I don't know that means hmm I smell Google Translate I'm not sure I'm not sure what you did hmm hmm well fake sweetly tried they try hard you're in joel studio Parkman thinking I want your next move should be at this point you just take and take off or you could waste the time poking around the house a bit tideless listen to some tunes city hey what better way to get yourself pumped up for going out and save the Christmas than solicitous of to instill it's got a pretty nice setup here and a decent selection of Records of spam them sliding the bottom door on the cabinet open you pull out a small selection of Records keep in mind that you've got a holiday to save you're really ought to listen to just one song and after all the longer you take to get out of here the more time that letters got to get the Santa Clause so keep it in mind watch album we're gonna play in [Music] hmmm what should I do anime OST okay you know what you know what you know what I got got I got I got a do free from Jesse that's the stuff you can listen to free from jazz all day no idea why he's trying to throw this record away nobody will get a nosebleed when you play it these hep cats are in the groove maybe this song is so great you just can't keep it it's like using steel wool membrane this clean still scrolls right out don't think any other song is going to take get in there for a while anyway you can stop listening whenever you're ready it's just gonna loop forever other ways this is a game after all where it broke in it crashed was that a bad end it's a bad end bad ending let's try that again look let's say let's say there's so many different paths here it's pretty crazy I want to wonder if there's like a like a scythe Lord plug in here I got a check you heavy metal isn't really your thing on most days you're more of a jazz kind of guy but something about this Judas Priest character that Joel's got an album on from cease to resonate with you listen to that song you find yourself feeling tougher than ever you're way more confident you're a real bad cat now and I'm not talking about those it's nestled and Christ like a [ __ ] to me falls off a ball to the park nobody's gonna mess with the garbage field not if you have anything to say about it anyhow you can stop listening whenever you're ready it's just gonna loop forever otherwise this is a game after all though scrap another snack here the candy cake you got the candy cane you took it away for safekeeping all right fix the old computer what else gonna do I can check my website there huh that's weird still no visitor garbage feels super cool homepage you did everything right though it's got that Duke Nukem explosion gift I thought I was like a chicken nugget and a dancing baby and even a picture of you oh I see it's still on a construction typical when is that louses stick figure going to stop digging that hole and finish making your website for you okay can i peek at Joel's email hang on hang on hang on can I check this yeah yeah yeah yes and then oh no no no I [ __ ] up on whatever do you like I said I [ __ ] up my responding how nice huh how nice there'ii and I [ __ ] up okay leave apartment there's no time to lose carvers field let's blow this pop stand and hit the streets before it's too late - after our brief trip down and out of the apartment building you step out into the bitter cold of Swedish winter the ice - payment practically burning your paws it's times like this you wish you were close but hey you know you're thinking about that right now Joey likely left the letter hours ago so you're gonna have to act fast if you're going to have any chance of stopping it you're going to need a plan and it's going to never have to be a good one but you know your garbage filled but the planning would have prevented your existence it's not in your nature instead you're going to just come up with a vague idea how to save Christmas and cut me just go with the broad strokes so with the gears here mine grinding and smoking you do your best to choose a course of action and the end you decide - use magic use science stop it all at the post office stop it at the North Pole or not st. Christmas at all well the magic [Music] magic fine we'll use magic you thinking a little outside the box you decided conventional methods of solving this problem aren't going to work no I said it's time to turn turn to the dark arts and do some good old magic to save Christmas trouble is we're going to find magic it's not like it's something you just kind of do you got to seek out some kind of source of power oh okay the haunted castle the haunted house the haunted woods the bad part of town inside your heart oh man that's adorable you crack me up garbage filled no but seriously where do you want to look goddamnit I guess I didn't work you in the woods sure the bad part of that Oh God okay guys haunted woods I kind of did be haunted castle actually when I see Dracula the bad part finally go to the bad part of town now what better place to search for Maddy can the bad side of town after all in the days of old antique artifacts were always sitting away in some terrible place guarded by all manner perils and creatures of the night what's the wrong what's the wrong side of the tracks it's not the modern equivalent to that Oh God oh Jesus you're arriving a bad part of town and take a deep breath ha ha smells like that urban decay it smells like an urban decay I guess looking around you see a loss of boarded up storefronts and wandering hobos with broken dreams but they're a couple of points of interest there's a seedy looking bar called dick Gardner hey late are you oh I forgot animal odintext ok the goal now homeland wish your shirts on lovely establishment and yes you choose to not judge a book by it's cover not from from there is a real dark alleyway and standing on our street blight is a shifty looking dude in this long coat oh no it means the crow is crazy hole by the way so you know [Music] shifty dude now god daum father fallen that fantastical oddity brought you here in the first place I guess you could say that the shifty looking guys long coat it's sort of just a modern-day equivalent to the robes of a kindly helpful wizard so confident this man can help you you approach an heir scheme if he knows where you can lie you might get some magic I don't know your cup of course not you reply I'm a cartoon cat what kind of still a question is that well then here I can help you my friend I never get all kinds of magic and it would absolutely rock your world yes that sounds like some powerful magic all right now I've wanted to waste time you are to your new friend your friend or words it leads you through the urban decay through a labyrinth of worse and worse looking buildings finally finally he leads you to the board up building it pretty much look like a bomb hit it pretty hard okay prayin prayin encamping the board covering the doorway with a crowbar from beneath his coat he waives his free hand towards the opening this means dick this means to [ __ ] okay slip in there do it okay the dude you're looking for or it should be in the old old men's room he's got a long gray hair goes by mr. wizard you can't miss them oh no oh no no no slinking through the old building you quickly discover that it reeks off mold and hobo [ __ ] - ah Merry Christmas everybody I don't know what they eat to make it smell that bad but man it's worse than any other kind of [ __ ] thankfully none of them seem to be around at the moment or if they are very well camouflaged after making a way through several hallways on the verge of total collapse you spot an old partially worn away men's room sign this is it the lair of mr. wizard directors domain eager to seek his aid okay wasn't quite what I expected but all right good can't read old old bathroom you're hit with a wave a moist hot air it looks like most of the old fixtures have been smashed to bits with a hammer and some sort of scientific equipment has been moved in scientific or magical yo asks a voice for my decrepit stall are you the guy looking for some magic how did you know you asked you ice why the saucers how the [ __ ] do you think Kat my man's on the street called me on my cell and said you were coming oh come on we gotta make this quick I was right in the middle of cooking up some crystals and that [ __ ] can explode if you do it wrong wow he can cook Crystal's true love this man is the wizard you seek so what are we talking here you want some angel dust somatic mushrooms could who could deal well angel dust might do the trick for the situation I'm in but I think I'll take some magic mushrooms how do I use the magic though you have to put them into a potion or speak a word of power or maybe you just need them goddamn I swear to [ __ ] god man weirdo Sanders fine you [ __ ] they'll give me my goddamn money and take your damn mushrooms then get the hell out grateful for the help you fit it scraper for the help but fearful you may incur a wizard's wrath you hand them a well at all cash and take a plastic baggie or some frankly rather underwhelming mushrooms you expected something big and colorful not these Groody shriveled things that smell like ass oh well magic is magic you quickly rush out of the ruined building on one safely outside you waste no time in beginning the magic ritual or well the I like how this is branched off so bad it's me with a letter garbage feel coming after me and now he's buying drugs because of it it's not really much of a rickshaw let's is it pretty weird at all I have to do is just eat them up but whatever you pop the mushrooms in your mouth chew them up and swallow them [Music] okay in short order the magic effect of the mushroom steak effect unfortunately for you this doesn't appear to be a magic that can you can freely control god it figures doesn't it magic without incantation of spell circus or powerful artifacts has just got to have a catch up reality no longer makes sense reality is an illusion you have left reality and enter the second reality relatives by future crew at the Assembly ninety-three demoparty the demoscene is very scene is demo scene is every scene and now you're now you're the star baby the perp electric experience is now sideways in quantum dairy downs can't Tuesday remember to lock the baseball flavor taste for sensation and all nines a dog forever wanting a love never gained on a shovel for Mars tinted peaks in the awning of eternity it is coming it is happening your brain is white-hot with the power of the universe garbage field what will they do with this newfound glory what is your answer Oh God imbibe shoehorn sunshine forever Holy Roller brain error or 777 7 Jack jackpot jackpot baby in reality probably just puked everywhere or something whatever the case you'll probably never know you'll be on this trip for a long time and by the time you come back it'll probably be too late to save Christmas I'm gonna Pat them all hey I'm gonna trip the game is over you made poor choices in the game this is the ultimate it is ultimately led to your downfall next time maybe just say yaoi okay good good call back good call back all right try that again now this is this is great now I got somebody got the lady reference at least two all right let's try that again let's grab a snack go to the castle next time we get to sue struggling this time I think I mean I don't know if it has any matters or whatever but this is something to answer let's listen to anime oh is T here anime OST remember to say stay - I will I will I will but I don't have any safety because I have this like you I'm you're seeing a [ __ ] in there I can do this against a state like this on the retro ecliptic alright but anyway and I may always see classical uh okay yeah we did jazz already you missed it anime [ __ ] it this was tucked between a couple of an anime soundtracks always if Joel was trying to hide it or something he never really gave much of a thought to anime what's the big deal oh my god listen to this song something stirs inside of you like a fool is stirring from a slumber at the bottom of the sea or something something has awakened within you you're not sure what this new feeling is it's burning in your soul like a mighty flame anyway you can stop listening to whatever you're ready it's just gonna start a loop forever okay thanks it just I'm gonna reject the email alright yeah there we go [Music] check on a badge a little bit doing this yes really Routledge decked a hellbug daughter you're right to fall in response dear idiot it's more of a more my style of email is the single most stupid idea I've ever heard of my entire life and I once heard someone to say that we should bring Hitler back to life as a Frankenstein and make him a king of Earth you must be the dumbest possible person the whole entire world and probably the universe too why would I want to play some dumb game online with those idiot dummies in my chat I only say that to get their hopes up they are the dumbest idiots who were ever dumb idiots except you you're dumber I hope you stub your toe real bad I hope you step on a lego I hope something really unpleasant happens to you in sincerely Joel you're seriously so dumb idiot Jarvis in there now I asked an answer and notice that Joel isn't going to play the game with or without him maybe you laid it on [ __ ] to think it but hey maybe that'll keep it from bugging Joel about these these things anymore and then he won't get any more on these unanswered emails see it all works out in the end I know I feel really bad now alright let's see here we're gonna stop at the North Pole stop at the post office use science he's magic [Music] science and science it's probably you're in a problem you're faced with is formidable enough that you don't think you can solve it like conventional means no this is a problem for science fortunately for you not far from town is a super special secret swedish science station or station for short within these hallowed halls dwells some of the brightest minds in the nation surely someone there will be able to help you after a quick don't you're out at the station and step aside you think that's something with special and secret in the name would have security up front barring Ranas from his wandering off the street but surprisingly you're able to just waltz right in in the main laboratory gosh how convenient I like that I like that we're scientists so you know equals mc-squared you know it's kinda like half life anyway so now that you're here Hasan the Goa is gone about trying to utilize the power of science to say the magic of the Christmas season as to use the time machine or the time machine get powers from radiation press the biggest red button discuss philosophy hmm well well now this might have to be a part two of us but this is a game is very long actually they'd be great but doesn't it all you're really sure that's what you want to do after all when is hitting the biggest reddest button ever been the right thing to do in a laboratory city isn't this kind of asking for it you're gonna do it anyways aren't you no of course nothing to stop you from heading that jolly candid like button and see nothing bad happened oh the laboratory never on within a five-mile radius haven't destroyed in a massive nuclear meltdown they gave this over any coincidentally the street actually went down as I did that too so we got a little bit of a maniac mansion reference huh it's always a good thing well garbage filled you tuna had all on the Yucatan requested to save Christmas into horrific horrifying mushroom cloud of nuclear death thing remember sometimes a cliche exists for a reason so the next sunny encounter giant red button in our laboratory setting don't mash it okay [Music] what if I skipped in for like this okay all right let's let's try that again can I sit leave apartment of me delete its all time to lose okay let's let's let's uh I want to see what happens with you you you you use power radiation are you science oh [ __ ] oh I suck something different I'm sorry it's brilliant in its simplicity all you have to do is use their time machine I use the time machine this time use a time machine to go back in time and undo the mistakes that have led to this outcome is by far the best plan you've ever come up with even more so than the time you bought into that died pill pyramid scheme and I mean hey you're a you're in on the ground floor you're approaching near scientists and it nonchalantly asks hey man you mind if I borrow your time machine what's that the man grumbles not even turning from there's working oh yes of course of course go right ahead that looks amazing willikers that was easy with the question of permission out of the way you wander over to the clearly marked time machine across the room looking down at the controls console you quickly get an idea of things work you should be able to take this baby for a spin it in no problem so where are we going or should I say when oh my god oh my god they got a small town USA northern Sweden New Jersey or yesterday yeah these are fun but arrested ooh quick save second quick the light go back and forth and do this unless it's do the most concrete one all right to concrete ones off course it's so August you can't just believe you then just think to do this yes immediately go back in time to yesterday and tear up the letter after Joel goes back to bed videos go back Gil goes to bed sorry Catherine badda-bing badda-boom you're in your aunt Christmas is saved [Music] stealing steel your nerves against the area is a time travel mentally preparing yourself to sleep backwards through the fourth I mentioned you climb into the time machine and set the controls for yesterday quantum flux particle device activated Brownian motion inducer engaged dashing hula girl wiggling and jiggling you crank the time lever back to the past to dramatically smack the button labeled Ghul and other machine roars to life thought once reality melts away and you enter the time stream day and night both occur at once people are swamped a massive centipede like creatures born at the one hand and burn at the other all manner of the heck an ID plate outside gags wisp past us you're her as your hurdle backwards towards yesterday unfortunately you don't have much time to enjoy these sights ha once you hear a lot bang followed by the very nasty sanic granny from the inside of the machine the gauge immediately go haywire spinning out of the control like a cup ride at the world's deadliest amusement park kid The Time Machine shudders and shakes beneath you violently shaking you about finalists if something they've simply given up the ghost has it's simply given up the ghost it makes a comical wheezing puff sound and drops like a stone you spiral on control to the time and space shrieking like and got a cheerleader in a straight to VHS slasher film the last thing you see before blacking out from the what would you call them g-forces but for time travel T forces I guess the last thing you see before blacking out from the T forces of your mat descent is the rapidly approaching face an enormous clock later you'll wake it in pitch darkness and unsure where where or when you are the machines windows are completely covered by something that blocks out even the slightest amount of light that is of course assuming that you're not in some hard lightless void that exists beyond the beginning of our material universe trying to put out that frankly horrifying akos tential crisis type thought out of your mind you decided the only way to get out of your bearings straight with the machine that damage as if it is to try and get the door open and have a look at your surroundings in mustering up your strength you pull out the door handle and lean it lean into with it all your might hoping it'll be bad be enough to wrench you loose from whatever headless confines you've been wedged inside of it oh oh oh oh no oh no unfortunately for you though that are comically for anyone who might have seen who might have seen it turns out that the time machine was blacked out from the Sun simply by being inside of a patch of dense underbrush your brute force approach was highly unnecessary causing you to tumble out of the bushes like I kind of vaguely kept like ragdoll and amazingly it seems to despite catastrophic haha failure the time machine at least managed to dump you out of the same planet I'll be obviously far longer ago than yesterday obviously wound up in the most generic time-travel location of all prehistory what's more you even seem to have land and I could civilized area or Ellis civilize us the time before indoor plumbing can be you as you get up from the ground and dust yourself off when a local Neanderthal man approaches you no doubt confused and amazed by your strange looks the sudden appearance you prepare yourself to endure much grunting and poking [Music] no-no-no no no no no no no no no no higher peril cesta shockingly well spoken Kay met Carla trip is either on your right yes thanks president continues oh but where my Landers Flintstones named Fred Flintstone he six others hand in your general direction partner peril I'm garbage field your plight awk really shaking his massive hand [Music] what brings you to bedrock garbage field some convenient convenient convention in town maybe she'll get some lost meaning the gun seminar of the lawyer order of the year water buffalo and I'm always interested in meeting alfalfa more often this is getting so weird and confusing that you kind of start to doubt that any of this is happening and in that mindset he sort of just blurt out information that probably shouldn't be sure to share with both plus one in the Pam actually I'm a cartoon from millions of years in the future my time machine broke down in the bush over there and now I'm kind of stranded here because I don't know the first thing about fixing it a time machine on oh that's too bad when that Jetson fellow got stuck here with his family at Lisa's kid fixing thing what what is he talking about how does he understand what you mean how does he understand English what in the hell is going on it I tell you what Garfield as long as you're stuck here how about I pull some strings down at the quarry and get you a job there hell I'm sure Wilma wouldn't mind put him get back into you can he get back into your old two feet so long as you can make yourself useful around the house what is a barrel sure can I do my smoke where's that bootleg guy of [ __ ] off [Music] no I can do it I ain't gotta [ __ ] do it no no no tell you what power this is the this is where we should start saving so let's save here okay I want to see what happens when you bum a smoke I don't know maybe frankly illustration what happened has me on edge can i bum a smoke of you while I think about it a smoke why sure I've just got to think for you [Music] try one of these wins this the one filter cigarette that liver some flavor agon let me let me do with the do it the right way [Applause] [Music] oh you heard of Winston cigarettes people are real like smoking know that it's what up front that counts and that's where with some steps on the ground but the exclusive filter blend choice gold that tobacco specially selected and specially Perseus fir filter smoking yes sir mr. wine makes the big taste difference and it only winston acid take it for me this filter secret really tastes like a cigarette to me taste is a must that's why I smoke Winston after all it's a prayer my doctor prescribed me that's what make Winston America's best-selling to America I had this attended commercial - oh hey everybody and welcome to my first and only cigarettes Bazar streamer make your next pack Winston you betcha garbage filled after all Winston tastes good like a cigarette should am I going now well all of this talk about flavor and taste and sales figure really asked me thinking I've never smoked a day in my life and now I find myself wondering if I've wasted the last 30 years by not starting after all nobody does it better so what if science says it's just about the worst thing you can intentionally to your body but are you afraid of us a little rich smooth flavor no this game isn't always sponsored by good ending so wait wait a minute so I like all these enemies turn out so this is a game about garbage filled going to the lab to go back a day before I sent off the letter he went back in time machine went back to Flintstones he smoked a cigarette with Fred okay where can I find our bootleg guy [Music] hey wake up Lorna a shit-eating grin to rapidly cross in your face now I recognize you you're the guy from that meme that Joel started where's the other guy that bootleg on the overalls [Music] all right all right all right okay [Music] I don't know what you're talking about peril someone locked down around here oh sure there is what's his name again grandpa grandpa damn P I've never heard of such a character he reiterates it I started back and forth bored it's static wait all of a sudden you should go oh come on you know the guy it's got the blue mustache and bloody gobs and you were they're all floating in the star burner sorry good toast reply sweat visibly dripping down his forehead he quit Dilys into your face pulls your head into clothes and wishes to you ever so slightly away stop talking like it but I'll go ahead if he hears you were dead no just to have me one of us are gonna be in for a world of trouble if you hear us you so walk away that's that's real ominous real ominous and frankly pretty creepy you're not entirely sure what he's on about anything books if it bugs him that much this is probably for the best if you just mosey on there however here's a few feet from where you started you remember the name that's right it was granddad granddad Flint [Music] [ __ ] he is cut out he just couldn't leave well enough could you Fred gave you plenty of chances to just walk away it told you that you are planned playing with forces you didn't understand and you just and yes what it seen you might have gone to the message you want ahead and you did the thing anyway but hey in from our laughs huh the game is over well you may be funny than granddad he apparently much stronger than you but you expect man he's been around a lot longer maybe try again grant once most people are making an onerous merge with your face on it jump well alright escape starter pack it up boys see I do it for Christmas sir I do a little grain dance for like Christmas but not none other time none other time [Music] Thank You bass Jolin a Christmas gift you take a moment to me like the situation in your head in your mind okay the time machine is toast and then frankly the level of quantum mechanical knowledge it would take the repaired won't exist for millions of years even with your modern knowledge you might never figure out the problem and if you spend the rest of your life trying this guy practically a stranger offered to put up roof over your head and get you a job until you get yourself back on your feet it's an incredibly kind gesture and one you might not run into again for quite a while so hell if you're stuck here you might as well take the best out of things sure what the heck can you say shaking Fred's head once more I don't think I'm going anywhere anytime soon [Music] true this word Fred was able to get you a job at slate rock and gravel it wasn't much but enough to get you started at least of course people are having a bit of a hard time with your name she started to going by granite feel good over top you Fred and his other pal Barney Rubble can do the best of friends always getting to all matters of prehistoric hijinks whatever something is simplest laying to the s lying to the wives in order to sneak out for a night of bowling or as hard as to believe as haven't got to step in and replace an international spy rabbit to be friends exact double rest assured it was always a gay old time yabba-dabba-doo I gots a pasta okay well on the one hand you definitely didn't save Joel's Christmas on the other hand you're now a page right out of history always also who knows what effect your Prince's in prehistoric earth has had on the future maybe Christmas isn't even a thing maybe Joel was never born maybe dinosaurs kill all the humans that took over it doesn't matter now because your yabba-dabba-doo to remain in the past forever the game is over did you find all the secret areas if not you miss that oh no you missed but on a lot of the upgrades to your health and armor but what next time the next time around you're gonna have one hell of a hard time with the bosses there are bosses in this game right I need I need I need a I need a moment to like regain my composure here because that [ __ ] [ __ ] me up that [ __ ] me up alright that [ __ ] me up and you know Winston tastes good like way too [Music] all right deep Arabic all right we are back oh boy so I wasn't quite ready for all that [ __ ] but that's how it is that's how it is I would do this already what do you think maybe you need to start stuff to get a better M yeah III doubt that I didn't include a a walkthrough just in case we would [ __ ] up so you know hey oh we haven't done classical yet oh [ __ ] I'm sorry I didn't show it on screen that was a mistake on my part well we're back I selected classical on the music this time so there we go yes you're feeling a bit intellectual this evening so you put some classical music you decide on sauna so naughty nun number one in E major or a now composer Christopher Stevens listen to the late 40s in the port-to-port amend oh and the treble clefs okay maybe you're not mandated you're not an intellectual but you feel more intellectual and that's what really counts right you're simply overflowing with pump pump paucity set the word you're superior to everyone around you anyhow you can stop listening whenever you're ready alright I'm very smart okay let's let's go look let's go back to the lab let's go back to the lab everybody let's go and get radiated it okay here we go let's say let's say here just in case you see alright get power some radiation you know stop you walk over to the scientists and talk in his lab coat yes he says turning to face you momentarily could confuse to see nobody before glancing down is there something I can help you with kitty cat - yeah you ask are currently swiveling out on a on one foot in embarrassment could you show me what puts out most of the radiation in this lab whatever for I want to get super power so I can fly to the North Pole use my powers to stop Santa from raiding a mean letter to my friend wrote him as a joke well really drunk and sent by mistake the next morning hmm this is the sign rubbing his tin that does sound reasonable let me let me show you to the nuclear reactor core there there that should give you enough exposure oh god the scientist leads you to the airlock and opens the entrance door I'll get you through explodes wall stress at however I'll have to get back to my research I'm sure you'll be able to get yourself up with your super strength once that manifests you can t just flash him the okay sign with your fingers and step through the airlock there's a lot hissing and Meccano grinding and alarm science going often and a computer to texture not wearing the proper equipment for entering the core but hey that's what the whole point of this is right after a few moments the inner door slides open you enter the warm green stare I glow with a reactor core all right here's where the magic happens all you have to do is stand there and let the radiation bombard your very make up until the science does its thing not exactly sure all you'll be able to tell what's your super powers are manifesting but you're sure you're sure you'll know once in once it happens after a while after a little while you think you're really starting to feel those super powers forming it's weird though you think that gaining super powers would feel a lot less like having it the flu the intense nausea just be instant radiation it's working okay sometime later your powers finally take shape with great excitement you watch as you use your new fun gift to make clumps out of your own hair fall out of well revealing the skin to be the skin beneath a painfully burnt this others in particular useful as a tool for saving Christmas but you never know maybe like you can make Santa feel real Oh somebody's gift ok whatever I don't know what happened there but whatever however after waiting longer still you find that the super strength you were hoping for is actually super weakness oh you try and get the airlock open I won't find out you're powerless to do so this is so strange it's literally no reason you should be starting to feel so faint right faint your super guardian feel right oh no no he actually turns out you're super dead for whatever reason the life-giving energy of nuclear power has decided instead to make you incredibly inland turns out that the whole hair falling out from power is actually a symptom of radiation poisoning needles is say nobody found out you look you told buddy found your lock in the reactor tell us park your lights to save you Wow you'll lose the game is over the moral to the story is cool the straighter you find it and motion pictures are the best entertainment neat well I sure got a Christmas gift too let's try that again let's uh discuss philosophy ah yes of course you're surrounded by some of the most brilliant minds in the world so why not to probe their minds for some sort of philosophical answer after all that will mean you don't have to put in Neil as much effort because the power of the mind or whatever I don't know you approached one of these scientists and clearing throat and she looks down at you curiously is there something I can help you with kitty yeah you say Hawke really you have a moment to maybe I don't know discuss the philosophical elements of a problem I've got to well I'm uh I'm pretty close to a breakthrough on this cancer research she says of rubbin her chin but a heck I can take a quick bucket I can take a quick break to talk philosophy okay maybe maybe it's a little more important things to talk about all right I got only starting to fix my microphone here hang on a second [Music] almost ready okay the two of you wander off to the break room and sit down she obviously a coffee but you declined that stuff makes you jittery so what seems to be the trouble how can science help them well my friend Joel got really drunk and I really nasty letter to Santa he wrote as a joke but he was so drunk II for God death and went ahead and sent to you this morning yeah sorry my microphone is really [ __ ] this is my headphone jack has to be in a very specific spot or else it has that like I can only hear left or right and my headphones and it's super frustrating well let's see that kind of a kind of a hard one to tackle with just philosophy he thinks for a moment I guess you could look at it from the perspective the multiple worlds theory have you ever heard of it of course being that you're so refined and knowledgeable oh I see if you get certain items you get even smarter from the classical music maybe maybe you've certainly heard of the multiple worlds theory it's a theory that puts you forward that there are possibly infinite parallels the universe is not the confines of your own child's play really this gets you thinking about the makeup of your own reality you never really know is it before it something feels sort of off about it the more you think about it the more income growth East becomes apparent to you it's obvious what's happened something has damaged reality itself I hate to change the subject you say but I've just come up with the troubling theory is it possible that the fabric of our own Royals has been damaged in some way and if so while we come up with a way we can repair it that's as an interesting hypothesis actually we'd you'd have to run down to this spacetime division and do some comparisons on the records but if you're right it should be easy to spot the fluctuation and pinpoints where something went wrong hmm sure enough when the two of you get yeah how funny would it be if this is how long it took me to play the game right like it this game is new it just got released yesterday I'm just saying but like imagine I'm like wow right we this might this might be the day thigh strain week of barbecue whatever sure enough when the two of you get to looking at the records with some parents it was apparent some sort of major event going back as far as mid October 2017 whatever was it's cleared on the significantly damage to reality is there anything we can do well the scientist surprise it's possible at that by fully space time to bring the exact point to the damage close enough to our labs we might be able to get we might be able to then weld the damage point shut by creating a large enough burst of heat who started shipped hmm it sounds crazy but it might just work let's get started hmm I have a bad feeling about this after hours of preparation the experiment is finally ready if all goes according to plan the location of the damage will momentarily fall into the Machine which will then proceed produce a momentary fission reaction so powerful that it should in theory repair the damage of course it's also this chance that that is going to fail horribly and destroy the entirety of reality reducing this universe to subatomic particles spread throughout and whatever extra cosmic space exists between worlds but I mean a what's this science without risks everything goes dark kid well a little weird dream oh it skipped [ __ ] huh for now I've got a lot of extra Z's to catch up on what's it all a dream did you'll draw Ram at the end of bob ross ICTA for the next generation or did he draw garfield and that's what it was that's when I first drew garbage filled ah ah that's what I was or did he draw Gore Garfield and the resulting mistakes simply went on to undo its own existence we'll never know for sure because I'm not telling you you get an ending it's not the real one though keep trying sport [ __ ] it was all a dream Super Nintendo Sega Genesis sorry I see yeah I didn't fortunately skip a little bit of dialogue here cuz the the a button is really sensitive so any press it's like okay well let's just this is so some of these have secret bonus endings I think you when was the last saved I got let's picture hang 62 saved and if I go back here and then I load and it's and I could do it again but nananana SLO too too much okay well so try talking philosophy without jazz music here look you know what let's try to do that right now just in case just in case it so you science speedrun now okay here we go let's see if an exchange in exchanges Joey yeah let's see you have ever heard of it - no so it does change if you go through at the store it changes things radically it matters that's a [ __ ] incredible that's the thing that the innard we're us to is justify why they think anime is real and how some are they they'll get their gender bank got what Goku right I suppose though that sounds like a rather incorrect interpretation anyhow you might look at it from the perspective that perhaps in a parallel world Tyrone Christmas hasn't been ruined it doesn't really help but it means you might make you feel better right hey now that's an idea rather than expend any real effort in trying to save Christmas why not just focus on them and potentionally all alternative reality Christmas was never ruined at all or hell why not posed to Joel and the alternate reality in which Christmas never existed and Hitler World War two or Jesus and Adam Sandler stars in every movie now that would be a worse situation oh no you said you think the scientists for your help for help and shake your hand and home satisfy them doing the next to nothing you've accomplished more than you could ever do by putting in effort or you know at least you come up with a solution that didn't involve doing things so it's all a different it's totally different what this [ __ ] Joe lasting frustration where's all my gifts well Joel you say putting on a pair of glasses you found on the sidewalk trying to look smart your drunken accidents the other night led us into a reality where Christmas has been ruined then what but have you ever considered adding accordance with the multiple worlds theory that maybe a parallel universe out there in which the things are worse maybe a world of Christmas doesn't exist at all or one where you know this was going to happen they decided help by coming up with some [ __ ] about how it could be worse because science I mean the important thing the part is that I had good intentions right then the road to hell is paved with good intentions garbage field to which I mean I'm gonna send you straight to hell I you [ __ ] cat oh and Joe Louis was as good as his word he did indeed send you straight to hell frankly it's less colder than Sweden and it's more daylight though this in the end was is really all that bad if it's Pure Michigan welcome to pure hell I don't know leave me alone that was one of those stupid plans I never heard the garbage filled of course there was a probably a parallel universe in which it was consider a masterstroke if that makes you feel any man about it game is over you had 18 but the dealer got 21 blackjack is a cruel mistress well okay well so the start here really matters I mean zero puts so much effort into this it's really this game is really good like it's not just like hey it's something that's cobbled together he puts so much time and effort into this and it's it's awesome it's fantastic I love this but I wonder what can we do with the time machine that really different well in the meantime in the meantime let's try something else let's try out not say Christmas after all let's not do anything you stop I think you stop and think about it for a minute why should you save Christmas it's cold enough well whether you're the ass about here and I mean really this whole mess is Joe's fault he dug his own grave and this time he should have have too late I cannot read who cares if he tries to blame it on you you it's you know it's not your fault that settles it not this time Joel no way you don't care if it's got to pay his taxes or whatever the [ __ ] this time you're not going on some janky has terrible quest is to bail them out with your arms firmly crossed you March back up to the apartment and watch some TV [Music] what the [ __ ] [ __ ] says Joel glaring at the empty spot below the tree where his gift should be why didn't I get any presents you sent a really awful letter to Santa you see you wrote when you were drunk II remember you give him that smug [ __ ] eating green he knows so well so basically you ruined Christmas Joel glares at you seething it with sound rage i vant his forehead is visibly bulging it gives a steam is coming it is about to come out of his ears he mutters with an eerie calmness you knew this was going to happen yeah he stammered his concern begins to replace your smug arrogance ooh you knew this was going to happen he repeats still eerily calm man before exploding in a rage grabbing you by the neck yes screaming and you didn't do anything about it you tried muster the courage to tell him it's not your job to do that but before you can do get it get it out he yells at you again that's it you shake it you're getting neutered tomorrow well it looks like you really screwed up this time garbage real and then only did you let Christmas be ruined but next time but next year you'll have you'll have to deck the halls without your ball but hey look on the bright side Merry Christmas everybody [Music] that's amazing that is [ __ ] amazing [Music] there there Sarah there's zero and in in the chat a so I've been blown away by this game so far I I didn't expect the the game to have multiple endings depending on the start stuff but it's been a it's been a treat so far okay yeah so it really does make a difference you know but I'm not gonna get any I'm not gonna get any I might look at the the cheat cheat sheet at the bottom of the a the walkthrough but for now I just want to see all the the normal ones have I tried going to North Pole after sending me a rude email yet no I haven't but let's do it vanilla style actually before we do that I want to see what happens if you go to the North Pole yeah just do that yeah it's not it the only way to make sure that the letter isn't read by Santa Claus is to travel straight to the center of the Arctic Circle and intercept it yourself now the question is how are going to get there you've got several options charter plane stole away on a freighter take the bus take the Polar Express ooh I kind of want to take the bus I'm sorry I really live on I take the bus in you decided would be it your best interest to take the bus to get to the North Pole sure it might sounded logical even impossible but uh let's go with it okay stay into the nearest bus station where I crushed it looking guys it's been a ticket counter where you want to go above the North Pole replies and my name's not bub see that's the guy with the exclamation mark shirt down yeah yeah whatever girl was a ticket man he punch he punched us in your class I thought he punches me in the head he punch this in your dick in your request and princely on a ticket you're just in time number 27 should be pulling in any moment down the share now shortly after you sit down you see the 27 bus pull up you hurry over and climb aboard hand it drop your ticket tub that's funny you seem to be only you see the be only one taking the North Pole Express well whatever the case you find yourself a seat a sit down man oh oh what feel bad the bus pulls out of the station slowly headed for this destination next stop North Pole [Music] oh [ __ ] dammit I didn't expected the dialogue do that alright whatever Widow station up and down the aisle looking up towards the metallic ceiling craning your heads to available no nothing really anything interesting to look at oh well might as well you sit back relax and enjoy the ride let's turn to a [ __ ] Tundra bus Oh God Oh Lord you start to think about what Joel will say when you tell him the UN all the way up to the North Pole used to make a sure he'd still have a good Christmas or garbage feel you picture him saying wearing a wet Christmas sweater and a Santa hat you're not such a [ __ ] [ __ ] cat after all him Oh shucks come come to reply anything for you Joel you're the funniest coolest most talented best friend a cartoon cat could ever ever hope for why did I climb the highest mountain swim to the deepest ocean even travel to the farthest star just to know I made you happy you're my bestest pal in the whole wide world Merry Christmas garbage filled he'll say you truly are my best friend I'll never forget what you did for me not ever oh man I wanted that just be sweet you always want to hear Joel say that or you know I play something nice usually it's you [ __ ] cat this and shut the [ __ ] up that I mean is it really your fault you're kind of annoying sometimes probably but still bad whenever at this point you just be happy if he just doesn't get angry let me be a simple [ __ ] trip [Music] no God Oh Lord you look down at your feet and wiggle your toes well naturally they're really more paws than feet aren't they you're a cat after all aren't Lisa sort of cartoon cat anyhow but are they called toast when it comes out pause and what about you call your fingers do you have two arms and two legs or they both consider legs and you've got sort of you should have adapted them to do different tasks I guess you have to consider them two arms and legs because if you're bipedal locomotion walking upright like you're a person of something like that for that matter are you a person I mean certainly you're not a human but that doesn't necessarily stop to other things from Bury being recognized as people look at that AI robot that gained citizenship in the Middle East or the episode of Star Trek The Next Generation where Pratap the Picard has to prove to a Federation judge the data to be considered a person despite being only machine that was a really good episode by the way one of the best really and remember that one where data builds a daughter and the Starfleet guy tries to take her away yeah I was watching that like last night that one always hits right in the field sim Franklin East cross we made a big mistake walking away from the show in the first season yeah but then she got retcon to be being at a couple more times as what the [ __ ] that Romulan lady [ __ ] and she was in not tomorrow's enterprise she was in focus that episode called since season 3 I believe and it's where Guinan of [ __ ] Sorry Sorry oops oops it only they only it only got better from there anyway philosophy I guess you'd be a actually any going on anyhow philosophically that might be a clue I guess to be a person after all you possess the qualities to captain Makar says quality a being to be recognized as a person okay qualified sorry intelligence self-awareness consciousness so what then truly differentiates you from the bus driver from the man selling tickets from Jolla I don't know all this thinking is giving you a headache maybe best to just let sleeping dogs lie on this particular school of thought and come back to it later for now hey just kind of wait for the bus to get to the North Pole [Music] okay oh good lord Jason am I stuck here you find yourself wondering what would happen in a fight Goku or crippling depression well if you go by canon sources from Dragon Ball Z a saying warrior gains strength every time they get beaten down so while Goku couldn't necessarily attack crippling depression with a Kamehameha wave film to be that would simply make him stronger run into another point is in crippling depression favor is that all my god what but Goku lives in an isolated oh god I don't think the [ __ ] boss didn't know what to take the muscle oh God oh ah thank God finally after what feels like an eternity the bus pulls up the North Pole this is his step off the bus however you notice something awful the few elfs are appeared to be working today our prop rating candy presses making chocolates and chocolate little hearts with cute sayings on them one of the ice steps over to the bus and holds up holds a handout shaking his head sorry pal he grumbles Santa's workshop is not open at the public this early in the season the contrary ought to help to be contracted up to help prepare for other holidays this time of year and we're way behind getting all these candies ready for Valentine's Day wait what Valentine's Day sure the bus rights in North Pole took a hell of a lot of time but really over a month oh no you do realize this means right - the only way back is to ride the bus on its return trip oh I'll spare your Tron trip and I just say that you've completely bought the Joel's Christmas is probably already ruined by the time you found that sticky black stuff under your seat or maybe I'm one of your when you saw that bug anyway thanks for the playing thanks for playing Penn & Teller's Arctic months it's been a blast no no no no no no and time [Music] okay so again I can't really I'm sure some of these equated to like getting the the final ending or whatever but I just want to see what what's up here you know let's leave the apartment again let's get to the North Pole but let's take a plane this time okay it would probably take me the fastest to take a plane to the North Pole with no time to lose you've to the nearest airport and make your way to the service a young woman costs over to your spot and long the best get over yourself in a hurry hello there success with a smile how I'm gonna help you you tell that you need to charter flight because it's falling upon you to save Christmas my my sister take a girl her voice so full of saccharine sweetness that just worried she'll give you diabetes it sounds like you're on an important mission and where do you want to have and where do you have to go to save Christmas now actually that's a good question sure you could go to the North Pole an intercepted letter but what if you could could Santa and out of the equation altogether and just get Joel something special yourself you could go to a foreign land and get him something wonderful so where do you want to go oh Jesus okay we're saving we go to the North Pole with you in Japan Russia America or quiz that is that Africa or the Gobi Desert AMERICA AMERICA AMERICA [Music] okay you know Joel's always saying he'd love to visit America obviously you can't fly him there but you can go there and bring him a little bit of it he could she could go there and bring a little bit of it back for him plus you know some of those Mike and Ikes says he's so found out they're always a little fruit flavored pills it's great to Borda takes a while but it's no big deal eventually go on the plane find your seat and relax and take off you help yourself to some of those wonderful aali peanuts you ever heard so much talk about and then get some headphones to hear the audio of the in-flight movie it's a film you've never heard about before called Santa with muscles starting Hulk Hogan I have seen that Oh God apparently in the film Hogan is playing an evil billionaire who loses his memory and comes to believe that he is Santa Claus enough lice and then fights crime and saves Christmas why have you never heard of this before it sounds amazing spoilers it wasn't [Music] anyhow after several hours to the plane final landsat la at la Gardea International Airport in Queens New York at last is it lagarde your la I don't know I don't have a reference boy this is la la yeah okay at Lake Los Angeles isn't in [ __ ] in New York so hey I don't know man I whatever [Music] America in America okay there we go okay wait at last you'll be able to get Joel a little taste of the states your heart pounding with excitement you rush out of the plane to make for the Gator Harbor your excitement is short-lived seeing you hurrying off to play with no luggage and no clothes on in the American TSA agents a sponsor a suspicious individual an detain you for indefinitely for questioning you try and explain if you're on a mission to save Christmas but your work fall on deaf ears oh god the lock in a supply closet if it was converted to a makeshift holding cell what but no one thing is clear you're not gonna see Christmas but what zero no no no no no no Jesus man what the [ __ ] you lost the quest is over he did not find a Christmas off jingle of the queen of will forever go be a shrine of darkness Jesus sex of a monopoly [ __ ] man see this pretty [ __ ] dark all right well Japan Japan you know Joel's been to Japan a few times and he always brings backs more fond memories each time we go see what a better way to give them of Christmas he'll fondly remember then traveling there yourself finding him the perfect gift it's the same F take your tickets you make your way to the flight gates and wait for the boarding to begin it's a bit of a wait but nothing too terrible I want some board you find your seat get comfortable and order yourself a nice bag of peanuts Sean says they're all different movies you also notice that you also decide to watch today's in-flight movie which is Santa's sleigh a movie you'd never have expected to watch on an airplane if we're being honest have you ever wanted to see a evil demonic Santa played by Bill Goldberg a Jewish wrestler murderer Fran Drescher and Chris Kattan no you hadn't thought so either but you were wrong it's not a good movie but it's definitely a fun movie okay eventually your plant tape eventually your plan your plane plane touches down at the Tokyo International Airport in your department posthaste I have some trouble reading sites I don't know what the [ __ ] going on on the screen though it might be tempting to swing by the food court and sample some of the locals versions of the same crappy fast food that's available globally you figure it's best to get down to business [Music] okay yes I remember it just how I remember it stepping out the airport you get yourself you I cannot read what's going on so my brain is hurt by that Flintstones thing earlier you get to you get your first up-close look at your pan and frankly it's quite a bit to take in with so much hustle and bustle going on it's looking that there's a whole lot you could get up through here so Garfield what's the plan now we can go window-shopping we can go to Akihabara we can become an idol singer become a salaryman or more oh I know what is it go on now more options become a Super Sentai Warner to bear wastes or I guess it let's not save an idol a DISA so you really want this now I'm gonna talking about a [ __ ] you guys soon you've heard a lot about a Kia bottom with this oftentimes being described as sort of a holy land for gamers being how Joel's a streamer there's got to be something over there that making an excellent gift for him with vicious off cuckoo-land dancing in your head to make your way there [Music] just as you passed by a place called super potato you spot something slightly odd just ahead you see a camera crew filming a middle-aged man and a brightly colored jumpsuit and necktie I know who that is Kurt curious is slowly make your way closer yes yes sure good oh yes as you get closer it suddenly hits it up this is the guy from the Japanese show that Joel watches sometimes dan Marino on the kepco Cho or something like that man if you're ever to get this autograph you get Joe Quinto elusive [ __ ] coach oh you shall typically hey jumpsuit yeah look at you it immediately raises eyebrow Donegan watashi o donnell oh my god it's really you you're the guy from the TV show I'm not that one on him on this car approaches you with the look of confusion on his face call me Nick oh yeah oh no oh no you say really there's a clear communication issue you don't understand a word I'm saying do you ego honey Massa cuttlebug on wakarimasen [Music] look from here you kind of look around in the panic searching for something or something can help you out yes you're about to start shouting or something who can speak English one of the crew members steps over he looks familiar you think it's one of those helper dudes that has helped out a beat games before hello I'm told you oh my god oh my god holy [ __ ] former ad you know it's an AP it's a T dude come on of gamecenter CX can I help you oh yeah oh boy yeah your play relief washing over you I just want to meet meet that couch ooh my best body and I watched a lot of the show and that we both think he's a really funny go be Nikko an attorney Thomas itís justö Dima the cacio carnival Shinoda - this home Tony non-trump and ah the coach thinks for a moment before continuing kono Kim Yuna Kim oh no show a little scar the catcher would like to know if you carefully if you'd care to join him for some arcade games that are shoot today oh wow this is even better than you'd hope for you were just thinking you might get his autograph but now you're gonna be on the show Joel is gonna flip when he finds out movie you better believe it that's like all the metal and do the Konami code in their iran-contra affair okay Connor was Endora common justice told us to the cash oh gosh I love this [ __ ] game no admittedly communication is a bit weird with what requiring a third party the two of you are still having a blast both are real and the crew seem to be John your wacky antics the two you enjoy a rousing game of Metal Slug and it's practically a tradition on the show and together you're actually making a couple of us and before you get out game over after that you attempt to have a dance-off against him in street fight or two before yoga flames your ass back into the Stone Age later eNOS attempts to win a canister and that dried squid from a UFO catcher but loose it just this is the the lip of the price law he jokingly start to climb into the machine to the hatch before the cute girl working there stops and everyone has a good laugh in the end you had a great time together and as you look and as you went to leave Irena was sure to give you one of his business cards satisfied that you've done your part to give Joel an unforgettable Christmas you head back to Sweden with your wonderful memories Christmas morning [ __ ] me are you serious that's Joel hypothetically why didn't I get any goddamn presence you may or may not have ruined Christmas with your drunken stream antics you reply it but don't worry I've got something that might make it up to you oh joy garbage fields they got me something something about his tone seems to be indicate that he's not being genuine I can hardly wait to see what new and exciting way you found it disappoint me no no this time it's gonna be different look what I got you you had him two business card and he any showed he just lets it fall into the palm of his hand and this Rosa sighs wow you got that piece of cardboard is the best gift I received it no really look what it is look what it is what do you like wipe a booger out on something regrettably he looks at the business card and immediately it slaps the side of his face and disbelief yeah what the [ __ ] where they get a Arenas business card with that you settle in and it regale Joel with detail of your big adventure in the Land of the Rising Sun you have lyric on every little detail remember and the fun you have with your wistful look upon your face it's like you're back there doing it all again horror has to finish your story and sort of come back to reality you notice that Joel doesn't seem to be excited about all this you'd hope rather he's looking at you with a growing expression of frustration so you went to Japan and had a big fun adventure where you got to meet a guy well I'm a big fan of and even got to be on a show yeah and all the while you know that my Christmas was in jeopardy because of something that you could have prevented well I mean uh so while you're on the hanging so while you were hanging out with Arina from game center CX that joke letter reach santa and inside it did not give me anything for Christmas well when you put it that way and so at the end of the day you got to have an amazing experience for the holidays that you'll never forget and all I [ __ ] get us a piece of goddamn car paper you know when he puts it like that puts it that way it does seem kind of like you shafted him on this on this deal the idea was to get Joel a great gift to make up for his burned bridge with Santa for the air but some somewhere along the line or some of the way you must have gotten some wires crossed and thought it'd make a great gift to have a good time yourself and then tell Joel about it Joel look I know it seems like maybe I messed up but I if you give me a chance like I still fix all this fix this fix this your idea of a holiday rescue wants to take a vacation and have a fun time with a Japanese celebrity anything you can [ __ ] fix this I'll go get you something real special right now you know what that's a good idea Joel gross not actually seem to believe his own words without word he grabs you by the scruff of the neck carries you to the front door throws it out throws it open and toss you around get out of here and find me a Jenner and screaming dingus and do not come back I tell you do and believe me I know I'll fake biggest when I see one he slams the door so hard you can hear the ship rattling and thereby apartments and do you hear a deadbolt click into the place you're definitely locked out left with only your meager inventory and a simple question what the [ __ ] is a squirming being you soon so it turns out the talking minute vacation inviting up one of your own friends vacations TV shows isn't actually much of a gift for said friend who have thought apparently not you and now you're paying for it by questing for some real Gingold oof [ __ ] the game is over you were a level seven book Bogdan mummy your favorite color was met in magenta your Chinese zodiac sign was the rest being the biggest one you made all of their rules okay I see what you did I see I see well let's go back to Japan real quick I want to see the other one soon [ __ ] this I don't know here's the thing I won't be able to get everything here but here's what I propose we get the true ending tonight and then post Christmas like tomorrow we see all the other variations like a anime always see the nida let's see what happens without the the thing alright let's see here where where is I'm pretty bad at this retroarch you okay become an idol while thinking about what to do in order to save Christmas something catches your eye on the TV screen in the other store window Wow will you look at her goal not only she a good singer but look at those tightly choreographed dance moves and hell she's got a whole entourage of backup singers and asteroth is just making an entire thing that much more extravagant and look at that crowd boy how did they're going hog-wild though you just can't get enough of this and she kind of glanced around the rest of the window displaying display you're looking into you see the crowd must not be the only one either as there's all matters of merch bear in the likeness it is in this moment of wonderment that you make a decision you're going to be an idol singer to come hell or high water you going to be the next big thing [Music] no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no that's right quad that's right quality and this helps me how I'm Amy Rose now after securing yourself a good a good agent and putting in a ton of hard work and perseverance being able to get yourself a big break it's not long before you're doing stadium shows and drawing massive crowds of screaming fans at this rate you'll be performing at the Budokan in no time despite this it's not all sunshine and roses Harvard going to this you had no idea how much regulation would wind up being imposed on every facet of your life you managed to fabricate an entire persona for you and you're required to stick to it at all times the way you dress the places you go the things you're eat even the way you walk are alone or are no longer truly yours you might be a big star but at the wise songwriter you might be a big star but as the wise songwriter Randy Newman once warned it's lonely at the top fame and fortune have isolated you from most other people on anything but the most superficial of levels contractually you can't even seem to be in public with somebody else on your own out of your own fears the media will report you you're dating and heart your fan base Jesus unfortunately for you things come to a head in a very messy way when things start to become too much for you you turn to your management for emotional report one thing is least another and the next thing you know you've been spotted by a photograph or some scandal rag before you know it the story is all over the news the fans almost instantly turn against you making it difficult even show your face in public hoping to save your face your manager resigns from his job and vanishes for that another word but the nobody left to book you when no event is willing willing to have you anyhow your career dies screaming oh no these are se guards feel didn't take a the sudden loss of fame well less I hurt the poor bastard caught caught trying to rob a liquor store ain't nobody with one of those you know [Music] oh and also he did save Christmas kind of a given but a thought I confirm it the game is so over not only did he didn't you save Christmas but you lost everything you used to have a pretty mind you used to have a pretty mind God you wish you had your crazy mind back okay well that was the president yeah I want to see this one this has to this has to be what I think it is suddenly you realize that your life isn't filled with quite enough miserable drudgery and endless thankful toil for some huge faceless corporations benefit thankfully here on Japan there's an X excellent way to get yourself some of that connects relations you're on our salary man it just is not a Blake soul-sucking day in the office and you're crunching those numbers like you wouldn't believe you got to get this report on to mr. Ishikawa's desk by 3:30 or he's gonna have your head does that mean exactly ass [ __ ] you you subtle here mister if she call was shot from his office garbage filled get in here now oh boy you've really doesn't know what it is you're not exactly sure but you know whatever it is that's really good I mean but whatever it is that is it's a regatta fumin now why don't you throw out more fuel for the fire you'll hightail it down the hall as fast as your stubby little legs will carry you in mere moments you're through the door panting like the dog you know mr. ichikawa equates you to okay you correctly Mont you should correct him on that and fun that did Jarek dad but you don't want to make it look like any less passive it is you can hear you can tell he's not pleased at HR forgiving you his disposition I like how the graphical glitch gives him a big wart it's about damn time you showed up Michelle Carl Barks from behind his desk close that door and sit your ass down we got to have a talk about your performance as of late but as much - as the mighty ocean jellyfish you merely cotto to his demands quietly closing his office doors and slinking into the chair in front of him being sweating reflectively reflexively sorry reflectively my rating sucks tonight as you slowly sink into the upholstery listen up garbage field and listen good my boss is breathing down my neck about the numbers you've been sending up at the chain he doesn't like what he's seeing he doesn't like it at all and what do you suppose my boss does when he suppose when when he doesn't like something that doesn't work in up my apartment is telling him do you think he considers give us a giving me a race time off to spend with my family you think that's what he does garbage filled he passed his fist on the desk angrily splashing a bit of a lukewarm coffee from a mug near Milan to a pair of sticky notes no of course it doesn't he starts asking questions what he does he starts asking hard questions questions about my loyalty questions about my management skills questions about what kind of circus I'm running down here I'm not running a circus garbage filled do I look like a ringmaster to you am I wearing a top hat and tails do you think your job is to act like a [ __ ] clown because my bosses aren't laughing garbage for you and when they're not laughing I'm not laughing are you technically doing what you're supposed to be doing I've heard from people that I've had people looking to it and frankly yeah maybe your ROI go in finance seems to think that cup of soup maybe that you're putting in apps just fine what a fine set of legs huh the tennis my bosses don't care if the numbers add up if they're not happy with what they see they're gonna let everyone to know and where that comes down to the chain of command to me and I'm looking right at these problems are coming from what am I supposed to do do I tell you that two plus two equals seven this is this is really awful don't think I want to be if that's what makes it that a garbage filled the mathematical clown is that what you want to be known as that's where this is heading better that's this rate how to take March you right into the boardroom and face spin and clown shoes to smash a damn pie around in your stupid face I know what I must do have [Music] lovely lovely congratulations he drew a spot and stood up to your shitty boss you also go to rest of our salt but hey got a crack a few tomorrows to make an autumn retsu rent I know what that means even though you spent Christmas in the slammer knowing that you failed Joel it was worth to see that [ __ ] face so I guess you need heavy metal for this you need heavy metal for this one the game is over our next playthrough try to find a 7th generals of power they weren't in the game that'll make fun to look at anyhow oh my god ok well tell you I'm gonna do a little beer be here I gotta get gossip water cuz I'm reading so much but this this game is great so far and I love it I love all the weird endings and this and that so oh this game is this [ __ ] gold I love it to you once again great job 2-0 but we'll play more of this I just got WB comeback and then hopefully we can find the true ending so you know it's yeah alright we're back alright so oh boy I don't know what is the thing is I shouldn't have the streaming this in the morning the summer is a panic rating because I I just woke up and hung ready for this like mental cacophony be like and then you punch your boss in the head you know but I love it I love it Jeff they excuse my poor reading here but anyway let's let's go out and check out the new one there's so many we can try out suggestions [Music] true ending time I don't know what the true ending is I'm not looking at the the cheat sheet magic then when he's mad we did no no no no no no no let's do some magic kid but let's do the Haunted Woods haunted castle haunted house ooh you know what let's go see Dracula but I'll turn it inside my heart do you know what haunted castle he decided the best place to check out the magic is without a doubt the old haunted castle after all way back when people lived in castles is that what that period when everybody believed in magic and wizards come and Carmindy commanded the respect of kings and necromancer's made of skeletons serve them drinks of [ __ ] oh boy oh it takes you until nightfall but you make it to the castle however look like however Asri of the pale light of the moon biggest disappear behind the cover of dark clouds and hear this a sound of thunder there's a storm coming but a horrible night to have a curse it for occurs rather not want to be caught in the coming rains they quickly swing and the rusty iron gates open and rush up to the massive wooden doors to the castle was a soft push the doors open with a long Airy creak you step aside footsteps echoing onto the stone floor and the door son was slammed shut behind you oh boy things just got really spooky in here who would have thought that I paying a visit to the haunted castle would have turned out like this you foam around the dark looking for something anything that could that could like your way after a few moments you get your grubby little mitts on an old law royal lantern but where are you gonna get that match lighted oh hey thanks huh wait a minute who had to do that match oh [ __ ] holy [ __ ] it's Dracula I knew it it was Dracula Oh No oh no man huh bla Christ and Lord of all darkness it's me Dracula Oh what the hell are you doing breaking into my castle you can't explain yourself but you're so scared that all comes out of your mouth is Taco Tuesday before your teeth chatter is so hard you can't continue that those are they that make sense of the you have to the Lord of Dracula it says it's nonsense to me for this fool horribly ugh you shall suffer grave consequences no Jesus or Mary or Gordon Dracula's her to strike what am I gonna do oh no nee nee nee nee nee nee nee use garlic-breath call the Ghostbusters or wrestle Dracula I should probably save State actually again alright there we go [Music] take on wat the safes they don't rent wrecker argue you wanted to call the Ghostbusters let's call the Ghostbusters suit well there's something strange in your neighborhood I think you bet they're called thinking quickly you grab the receiver of a nearby novelty phone it looks like a scalpel holding a bone how cute and dolla Familia number Dracula hisses various fangs but you respond by shoot shushing haven't indicated if you're in on the phone move away he raises an eyebrow stops dead apparently shunned by the fact that you're making a phone call mid murder after a few rings the other the other end picks up hello ghostbusters answers or my voice on the other end yeah you say looking at Dracula nervously I've got this kind of a problem in this old haunted castle like maybe I'm gonna die kind of problem uh-huh the woman replies oh my god the song oh my god same [ __ ] two and same [ __ ] tune it's not a rather uninterested consider use to set your lives in danger Ghostbusters yes yes yes awesome can you scribe the apparition is inventor of which your big threaded well I it's Dracula yeah you tell her it looked in the Lord of all darkness up and down skinny about the average height wearing a black tux or the red line Cape possibly crushed velvet hold on she responds at the twins are confused in their voice you mean Count Dracula as an affliction of blood a physical being yeah gasps you stammered look at an increasing with impatient vampire with his arms cross and tapping his foot I mean I don't know if I vampires have blood per se but sirwhere call the Ghostbusters for a reason the moment says audibly unknown with you we don't deal with monsters we deal with ghosts now even for maybe Dracula's ghosts were even talking about here I could schedule an appointment but it sounds to me I just kind of wasting our time but I'm really in trouble here you fumble to say nice knocking to fright you guys just can't I'm sorry sir but the answer's no Christmas is a busy time of year for us with all the season hollow oppression and drunk drunk person whatnot so we don't have time to waste fire nuclear particles accelerators and vampires just try it have a nice day okay the line goes dead will Dracula patiently best drape a Dracula asks it patiently glancing at his watch or we go to do this or what you sign defeat and tilt your head to the one side you're reeling your neck yeah go ahead with that you swoops in on you and chomps you'll find a little jugular I guess busting your artery open in the mouth makes it feel good a lot of desired if you could pass on from paying a blood loss you bought it on nothing more than a shambling reanimated corpse disturbing every whim of Count Dracula the ghost is free to haunt her you know place or you know you could just take a nap get an invisible bed i freak it goes bad if you have to get a good ending this time maybe next time you should I don't know never try something that doesn't involve the spirits of the Damned that's Jesus let's try that again let's wrestle Dracula something deep down in your primordial memory suddenly sparks life perhaps imbued with the spirits of your noble ancestors fearless Lee honking prey in the wild you hold a norm out for the hand in a stop position that will door Dracula stops dead in his tracks all right Fang face enough enough the growl ears pinned back to the show to show you mean business you want to take me down you do it in the ring Luke you'll blow to goodness your girl an advance toward Santa Claus extending a bet perfectly an uncharacteristic display of bravado you heard me Dracula if you want to throw the Hound with garbage field we're gonna have to take it to the mat I see sis trakula Robin is 10 you want a fair fight man-to-man vampire talk or two in the cat you know what fine then let us do this like Brutus okay hello out there are you sport fans and welcome to another bone-chilling edition of Wrestlemania [Music] I'm your commander Big Jim tarantella and with me always is my good friend Frankenstein or firestarter every to be here Jim [Music] what a pleasure is always Frankenstein anyhow tonight's main event is a matchup unlike anything we've ever seen in this area number four Count Dracula the lord of darkness an undefeated champion of this event fears them against a plucky cartoon cat but only who only wants to save Christmas garbage Fielder on about you Frankie but my money says that this fight is going to swing in the Dark Lord's direction right out of the gate it's starting to look a lot like Sun look a lot like Celebrity Deathmatch Oh may be small but a little hard it may just be on to something there big guy when it may like your physical strength character in a state's president makes up for that he makes up he more than makes up with his fighting spirit Herr Frankenstein agree whatever the case may be it looks like the bat is just about that ready to start so sit back and get ready for the match of the century at least this evening [Music] well this is it garbage filled you and Dracul are going head-to-head to find out who is going to be the King of the Ring if you lose you'll have all your blood sucked out and become nothing more than us mindless zombie if you win you'll did you ever figure out what you get if you win before and before you have time to think about it the bell rings beeping and there's the Bell right on the gate the two opponents are haunted and grappling with each other or possibly gripping right you are Frankenstein it looks like they're oh wait a minute is that oh my god he did it Richard unbelievable Garfield headbutts Dracula in the stomach and now that he's broken away it looks like he's running it from the ropes her garbage filled style on Orthodox unpredictable indeed never before have I ever seen such a small opponent attempting a running clothesline off the ropes and he Wow he hits him in the knees and unbelievably he's not Dracula flat on his back glitch and now he's suffered a turnbuckle Lord of Mercy he started going for dieting moving Oh a flying elbow right up to the Dracula's chest in the symphony of the night this crazy cartoon cat is conducting a frontal shut the [ __ ] up her additional Castlevania reference wait a minute Dracula Dracula snot out on his back not on his forehead his trade off on his feet like something out of a horror film and now it's garbage feeling a full nelson he's lifting up all lift nothing oh right after the atomic drop atomic drop man bad for the cartoon cat made me but it looks like in this slam just but in this slam he's put out Dracula's control out of his fight Gore's feels badly staggered it he's back on his feet but he's having a hell of a time staying there whatever prime moral whatever primal instinct garbage filled had going into this fight it must have been literally just been knocked right out of him this is going to be a bloodbath literally I don't even think Dracula's going to put him down for the count at this point why bother there are no rules in the fight where the guy doing the fighting is an ancient evil thing that has plagued humanity for centuries Oh No but wait a minute what's this just what it looked like it was all over a surprise guest has entered the arena who is this mystery man are they friend or foe Herr Frankenstein on that receipt oh my god it's vogue Bulgin her book a good kind of I'd never believed in miracles living in the constant existential dread that is commended commentating on with never-ending battles between the masters of evil and whatever poor rubes he learned into the ring with him knowing full well it would end in their blood being drank but I believe in them now this criminally insane ex-con is a wild card among wild cards there's no telling what he bringing into this fight is that is that it is he's firing a machine gun or Dracula a regulars Victor cake consider this is crowd is a crowded Irena but undeniably effective of course they won't be keep dracula that unless bogus done his homework Louise Bourget most of the commentators the boss tomato from recycled silver cross and I caught them in all the bullets are made from recycled silver crows and I caught a beam dagger League [Applause] what a day to be alive ladies and gentlemen you heard it from here you heard it here first the man is free from the curse of Count Dracula the Lord of all darkness a slain in the men in a new era of peace dogs from all mankind in all my years of commentating never for have been so overjoyed Herr Frankenstein sad to see one of the greatest passed on but Frankenstein's try to be supportive of Jim's feelings finally I can return home to my wife and children hopefully Deb hasn't remarried assuming I died on that fateful night 10 years ago with that terrible possibility in line good night everyone and may we only see Count Dracula get in hell picking you up and cradling you against his bare chest Boggan askew he's kid decayed okay he gave a smile and a thumbs up granted you're not totally sure why you've eaten but that's why you've been beating completely senseless but hey Keith the gate is buddy the maniac mumbles get the gate this cone with bokken and go and mainly violet dangerous hey you know what maybe it's just the blood your brain is floating in right now but that sounds like a great idea to you Joel's idea of adventuring is going to sustain him below yet when it's a snowy out let's not forget it's never really liked you much he might be a danger to himself and others but at least Boggan is treating you nice sure whatever you say a bit of blood dripping out of your mouth okay to keep the get ear applies wrapping you around his back like a knapsack bogan la and with that bulk bullion lip left from the ring and carried you off into the night true this world Logan showed you the true meaning of adventure and until you become the best became the best of friends while solving mysteries fighting the force of evil and learning how to love again will we ever see them again well bogan and gorebyss field return to say find an evil army of space monsters bent on world domination or perhaps to fall and evil billionaires attempt to destroy the moon who can say for sure and after Joel well with his Christmas ruined and nobody there to offer real attempt to console him he finally came to an understanding came to understand how much of that [ __ ] can't really meant to him blame myself for garbage filled his appearance he decided he dedicated the rest of his life to rescuing abandoned cats and giving him a lovely home amazing with his stupid WrestleMania joke ended up turning up into a good heartwarming ending bet you [ __ ] didn't see that comment did you I game is over you didn't get the cannon end and give it hey this one was pretty good wasn't it I'm definitely gonna make some wrestle the it Vania shirts and put them on red bubble or something don't okay that was pretty good pretty good so there's a bessa better ending in that holy [ __ ] the dama now this game is full of adventure uh as literal demon house is pretty cool no no no no no no no no no no no let's see what else did I do load state was a garlic breath ha that's right you made yourself you made yourself that garlic Alfredo for dinner last night he left you apart without brushing your teeth like a dragon facing down a bold night you faced Dracul open your mouth wide and blow your deadly breath weapon straight into the vampire's face eat that few blood sucking monster or rather than shriveling up and die rather than shriveling up a guy dracula Connie just stops dead in his tracks and his eyes instantly widened water if this were our cartoon you expected to hear that comical class shattering sound I would have said crash hattery sudden holy Christ well we'll be crazy the vampire says really Mac in disgust oh you kid Nicky because you've got some serious deep breath okay you give an awkward grin and shrug it okay goddamn I'm going to lose my lunch in continuous punching it's no shot you get out of here Grosso get out and stay out before we have a chance to respond he puts his hand on your shoulders and hurriedly places you back out at the door slamming it's behind you you even hear a deadbolt click into place man you think you try to kill him or something oh wait well whatever the case you didn't find any magic here guess it'd be wise to head somewhere else before anything else bad happens to you get get while the getting's good and all that jazz to that right well so much for that looks like all that anger shadow Dracula did tipped off the creature of the night that I'm invited guest was about to be turned out that an uninvited guest was about to be turned out to them Millicent's a the volleyball is a boogeyman and inter interdimensional shamblers okay waiting at the door prompt he limb from limb and devour the gooey red stuff from his side of you congratulations you died I'm sure the folks at home will be thrilled to hear the tale of your untimely demise a little something-something to interrupt the dreaded drag of the day-to-day life you know okay oh my god all right pop I was gonna I'm gonna skip to the Christmas DOS games in 20 minutes but I mean this game is so [ __ ] good that I'm like I don't you play this all night ah dammit I wonder if I can use two strumming on on Dracula move that could kill him let's try that [ __ ] you let's try that let's try it something happens okay you can and [ __ ] okay I figured it no no [ __ ] it [ __ ] up ah damnit let's just let's just reset this oops big brain all right sorry sometimes that I press a too quick there we go [Music] now we already did this one and then I never mind never mind it'll be all right - strumming on the plane oh that could be funny okay yeah okay now we're gonna use magic here trying to go to the haunted castle yeah that Dracula's back here [Music] you sir strimmer yes yes it works okay thank you quickly you grab the canister struggling from your inventory and ready it for a cunning maneuver as Dracula lunges towards your throat you hastily thrust the chaos instrument riding this path of travel before it realizes what you're doing it's too late he's bitten right into it instead of your neck flesh no no this has hurt you like hell not only does this hurt like hell you try to you try body through a tin can you try biting for a kid tin can but Dracula immediately regrets making this mistake oh my [ __ ] good he else his speech slurred because there's a cannibal can't blocking from properly using his mouth what the hell did I just bite into what is this branch to taste using passed by fangs it's every sweets favorite treat you apply a smothering crossing your face you just relax to savor the flavor of Zeus trap Mangan holy [ __ ] Dracula Christ desperately trying to rinse his jaws off the can and trying to spit the fermented fish who says this can't be happening oh no no no no you turn around away but something is off here sure a lot of foreigners seem to have real problems here struggling but uh how many of them begins smokey from the place of different just from the places that fermented fish touches do you realize what you've done he gargles oh do you realize what you've done he goggles his body slowly collapsing to the floor don't you know avoid the agents wheels invented stools throwing you shake your head honestly starting to feel kind of guilty for what you're witnessing it what's your intention to use this as a distraction to escape but this is going to going south real quick kid nobody was ever meant to eat this fishy slime you fool Dracula moans the very flesh of his fangs began to this disintegrate an army of my kind attempted to conquer Sweden centuries ago but the brightest of your alchemists created sister Venus a chemical weapon to destroy us it is like liquid fight straight from Satan's balls even now I feel every cell in my body screaming in agony as they melt and post one by one we had hoped that once the history had been forgotten and your Swedes viewed it only as a culinary delight that we'd never faced this unimaginable don't joggle again the book he began choking and coughing struggling to keep talking to you his hand grasping at at your neck weak as a child and he stands straight into your eyes this is home and come calling blood long time look sorry there this image is so stupid look at it okay I'm gonna temporary this good that I know that I have the strength I would make you pay dearly for what you have done but that's no longer a possibility you have done in the moment of panic with countless souls have failed to do for hundreds of years and swain kept in with my dying but whatever terrible vengeful curse intended to place on you it was too late too late too little too late you watch it Horace what's left of Dracula's bought a song with ceases it becomes totally unresponsive even after death the effects of the serum and continuous body sitting and smoking as his flesh melts away Esther remainder of his flesh sizzles away live behind nothing but a fango skeleton one of Dracula's hunchback minions waters into the room carrying a tray which it quickly drops upon seeing it the Masters smoking corpse upon the floor the undead thrall rushes over and the krail to the body up shake him in a bit to try and get it to respond that's a courage but nothing and then turns to face you ice wide like saucers you killed oh I'm sorry you shot in that panic he wants an accident I swear drawing drawn your slumbers wrong the lore of all evil and oldrover forward hi I stammered trying to think of some way to spin this in a way that's absoulte you have any guilt I don't think you understand what your bug no speck minion says us it's all going on further undead minions peek on through the doorways leading into the room okay you're freed you freed us from this tyranny Oh Count Dracula be Christ as the other bosses pour into the room huffing and hollering with unbridled joy by the loss of our kind now you are your kind and godly King I said I made mummy this sudden turn of events causes your jaw to drop and hang open your left orderly speeches as he's probably to understand what's just happened first you actually killed Dracula and now his servants say you're the new master eason tell us good cartoon can't ask the hunchback where's your name original owner of Malmo garbage field you blurb but listen I three cheer for garbage field crisis skeleton with a crewman odd once you're surrounded by the group of fiends and the lift to above their heads in began to shear hip hip hooray hip hip hooray hip hip hooray the possession of fosters joyless carry joyously Karin see I hunted to the castle through dusty corridors and ancient rooms I'll tell you arriving a great chamber with a throne at the other side they rushed you over to it and dump you into the seat and then immediately step back and bow to you with great ceremony The Hunchback from before makes its way up to you through the crowd dropping a single knee and offers you a golden scepter ending in a skull with ruby eyes My Lord he says in a ceremonial tone as they can put the scepter we pass all to you the throne of this kingdom you're now garbage filled the first Kingdom truck Tech Colonia course stop much of these days lord racula pretty much only asked this winter castle at essaouira Dillon Romania buddy feel better meaning the bill of summer house in Barbados but you never plan but yet humble as it is maybe our kingdom is yours this has all happened so fast one minute you're about to die because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time the next year but in your the night King actually begin to really process it at all it finally hits you you live in a haunted castle now holy [ __ ] you live in a haunted castle now my loyal subjects you say taking the sceptre in your hand and rising from your throne my understanding is that Count Dracula treated you pretty crappy sometimes he coming to the wine cellar look right at me sweeping the floor and drop us drop a bottle says a skeleton he'd like to ask me for a cup of tea even though I knew full well I hated the stuff then when I brought it up to him but he'd throw it away throw it in my face and tell me to get him some coffee instead had some mummy dress as I made he made me watched him coated the bathroom he shot the Fishman in a very traumatized tone I don't know why he just kept telling me I had to well no more you tell them I promise you treat you fairly no longer will you be slaves you are my new friends and this castle is just as your helm as in this mine I mean really you guys seemed so nice for a bunch of monsters anyhow I tell you what I'm gonna do tell you what I'm gonna do I've got to get my going back to my current residence so I can tell my bestest buddy the good news you stop for a minute and think about it actually expect I spent me back on December 25th and be ready to surprise the guests with that the moss as well as against here for you I'll leave you shake somebody hands and your starter wait you start you shake so many hands your way out that your fingers start to go numb and the Fishman begins to cry as you pass them and runs into you and gives you a hug man you're gonna have to look into getting that poor guy some therapy or something as you step out the door you would have goodbye to your grateful subjects and headed back to Joe's place until Christmas day no boy son of a [ __ ] Joel says angrily where are my presents mcgraw Joel say this was trying to hide your excitement forget about it I have presents so much better than anything that might have been under that tree Yeah right he replies rolling his eyes what did you get me this year I'm a controlling portrait one of those [ __ ] dancing musical snowmen you can get at the goddamn drugstore no way man look just put all on this blindfold and take my hand and I'll take you I take you to your present a blindfold loan out garbage field I'm not into that [ __ ] I mean at least not with you you shut up and put it on okay grumbles reluctantly trying to around his face but it just turns into some bird box [ __ ] I'm out of here after taking a short cab ride just out of town to the old haunted castle you tell Joel that he can take his blindfold off Cassie untie sit and gaze up the castle he's confused my the [ __ ] did you bring me to an old castle I asked and since when is there an old castle you starts at town it's not just any castle Joel you shot unable to contain your excitement anymore it's my castle and I want you to come up move in with me it turns to you ready to yell at your favorite ready to yell at you for the stupid joke you're trying to put put on him but when he sees you but when he sees the genuine look of happiness on your face his eyes immediately widen your for serious yeah Joel it's awesome you tell them practically shaky not only did we get this kind of cat don't we get this castle but I'm the kind of a whole bunch of monsters but I'm the king of a whole bunch of monsters they're gonna live with us and help us keep the place tidy and be our best friends no [ __ ] do we or the skeletons oh man yeah so many skeletons and mummies and werewolves and zombies and hunchbacks and garbage filled I I never thought I was gonna say this but you're you're my dude little guy validation validation of last Joel it finally likes you holy [ __ ] not wanting to waste this chance to jump into Joel's arms and give him a big hug and it's great to see a little behind the ears together - are you step inside then meet your new subjects you introduced Joel to your monster friends and there is instantly impressed apparently Dracula watch a lot of Joel streams oh okay like a microphone and they're like excited that an internet celebrity is moving to the castle internet celebrity Joel just excited that he gets to hang out with skeletons it's [ __ ] rad Joel laughs I can't believe this is happening now I can play skeleton metal for real [ __ ] skeletons Merry Christmas John Mayer Christmas you [ __ ] amazing cat and Joel garbage filled and their hat monstrous friends live happily ever after in their kingdom of the Dead congratulations you got an ending satella their real ending though since this one was so good though have a hint Oh try an option that requires traveling oh oh okay okay I see [Music] Christmas bang Christmastime but okay well I [ __ ] love this game like this might be my game of the year like this is this is fantastic i man okay traveling huh [Music] [Applause] now listen to the anime OST huh let's do that super quick let's do that super quick let's do a little tunes and super quick it and then let's go to Japan now [ __ ] did I [ __ ] up no I didn't I didn't yeah be careful so I don't select the wrong thing here it's not the wrong thing oh oh no no I'm so good I'm so good okay now I'm become an idol singer let's save here just in case just in case the [ __ ] up okay okay let's see if anything's different here [Music] okay I don't think it is different oh no it isn't different oh [ __ ] maybe super sentai hang on I never know what the original looks like so whatever okay here we go hold on maybe you're not thinking big enough right now after all saving Christmas from one person isn't that big of a deal kind of it's not drop in the bucket as far as the rest of the world is concerned really know you want something bigger something better and if you want all that and Japan's got the perfect solution for you the time-honored trade of the super sentai fight cut you say the day all that throughout mid Pacific Rim who could say no to that oh my god after a quick visited the cut local costume shop and a convoluted series of events involving aliens robots in the future ancient demons ghosts and cool motorcycles you're ready to join the ranks of Japan's greatest heroes and fight for the everlasting peace of course the trouble is of course the trouble is there's currently no trouble I guess this is the part of the TV the TV never shows you huh the only thing you can do is wait for some gigantic hideous mutation to show up you might want to grab some lunch or something that's that is the shittiest Power Rangers thing ever this is you to hope waiting around is paid off a massive beast lumber side of the sea and begin stomping a rat towards Tokyo man what is it about this country that draws these things in those wacky game shows to video games to karaoke whatever there's no time to think about that now as a newly minted super cent time it's time to spring into action with no time to lose you spring outside to the nearest wide-open area into your medical space dance current demented monster sighs oh the Giganta be scrolls in a naturally flanked voice who dares oppose in servant of the our own death regiment who serves the material mousers from the planets eels I am garbage feel dizzy the defender of truth and justice who carries on the legacy of those collected heroes kösem cosa baka whose strength of character and fighting spirit flows through my soul as a river through the mountains in Comanche for the our own death regiment his terrible fate was sealed by none other than my direction para the Dark Lord Han do know the thousand death blade distinct in a mirror earthquakes are making a pitiful attempt and taking up his mantle would stand a chance against AI kaijin the Tartar degrees from her knowing i knew him only for one this short period though I only knew I knew him only for the short period he remained alive after I found his upper body in that haunted cast cave I knew that the Galactic Heroes ibaka was the greatest space manhood I ever met and to carry on his quest for ultimate justice throughout the universe is my privilege if you believe that simply if you believe that simply by obtaining a galactic hero power and you can true am I so much [ __ ] dialog just like the show the zeros my will crosses pathetic are the viewers on the food like the incident you are look can we stop dumping pointless exposition and just fine already alright oh oh what will I do oh oh special is this special because I have anime power let's do normal first Garfield mr. cotton child dark magic to itself a heels okay this actually turns to our real game now oh my god what no way this actually works now [Music] oh [ __ ] there's a bad maybe defend don't know special strikes a heroic pose and fires a parle V from his hands today's spam special yes I can oh [ __ ] [Music] Plus is bad dog man huh the anime was the actual makes us fight Eastern but give me 150 HP I said 100 or really they're not special here huh course you'll see is an anxiety attack but it wasn't very effective or shitty sealing it oh I'm about da here have my tea last boomerang come on I can do this gathers energy from the cosmos oi I'm healing up see it's got twice my health almost [Music] [ __ ] for us tell me dear critical hit oh [ __ ] I'm about to die man oh no I'm dead garbage field loss all this fighting spirit and that was the end for garbage fields II killed by kaijin the Titanic beast from hell remember the iron death regiment yeah yeah yeah yeah you get it the point is that garbage filled Z is no more and the mid Pacific Rim will be here for terrorized by many hideous monsters the game is over frankly you didn't do a very good job next time should you go through this route again maybe try doing a better job I saved [Music] I'm just gonna spam special and hopefully get lucky if I gotta defend more I don't know it's like at risk sometimes I have an anxiety attack sometimes III do damage oh it seems better this time oh he's got way less than I am now I'm winning [Music] come on I'm gonna do it special attack cornfields the strikes a heroic pose and fires apart will be from his hands yes Cardenas been defeated I win level 2 X P P gumption supports a poll created anxiety went through the roof cosmic Thunder I learned how to love again congratulations garbage field you saved a pan from the evil kaijin the titanic beast from hell and proven the justice of our culture you feel strong swelling in your body okay however this is not the final victory the iron death regiment still lurks in the shadows waiting to make a graveyard of you and their mechanical masters from the planet seals have yet to reveal their true faces until the day comes until that day until the day comes that the evil men are all over garbage feel ze most most continued vigilance he is a true fighter who can only make fighting for justice fight garbage philsie for peace of all the world and truth emeritus horribly translated words Garfield Z's stood against the forces of evil in the fed of Justice for the rest of his days of course you know that there wasn't the intention of leaving the house today you are supposed to save Christmas for Joel and you did it so that's nice is to sending my feet it's not a real win a game is over you may not they start another quarter to continue but uh not sure where this is supposed to go into this thing how well you figure it out remind me and we'll do this thing right up okay it's another one keep my this this this game has 365 difference like drawn screens there's so much in this [ __ ] game okay it's pretty it's pretty here extensive man okay let's just leave the apartment there let's travel again let's travel again stop at the post office every time try this planet yet one one for a year nonononono we're gonna finish this game friends look out year to make two so you know you decided that logical course of action is simply head to the post office and try to intercept the letter there all you have to do is go over there and explain what happened and you should be able to sort this all out no problem Oh running as fast as your stubby little legs will carry you you rush to the nearest post office surprisingly even with the holiday season the place is predictably a ghost town a single board looking clerk is leaning at the front desk just waiting for you to bother her and I want to go disappoint you step up to the counter how can I help you she asks through the middle of a big yawn your friend Ethel explained the situation barely able to keep be able to keep yourself together as you try to hold in your panic and prevent yourself from completely breaking down I see the cliff replies chasing us on the bed well I'll tell you what I can do for you let me just take a look at your computer system and see if I can figure out where the letter and maybe gone it she trusts her computer and punches in the request after a few moments of clicking and scrolling as she turns back to you it appears your french letter just left here a little while ago heading to another facility let me just fill out this form there I ran it on the address on there just heard there and had this the clerk they'll know what to do well it's not just as simple as that stopping it there but at least you know where to go to catch it with the form now in your hands you kindly thank the clerk what's helping you a rush out the door followed the address to the clerk get it to your Foreman you arrive at the post office and foosh oh okay okay you rush into the post office making a beeline straight for the front desk huffin and puffin you quickly hand your all off the official form to the clerk and take a moment to try and catch your breath however is to start to feel your heartbeat returning to its normal speed the clerk chimes in now I'm sorry sir but it seems the letter you're looking for you just went through for processing don't worry though I know where it's heading let me just drop down the address for you there if you hurry you can make it over there and your time to stop it terrific looks like you won't have time to relax after all go to next address I suppose or I could give up no I'm gonna mix a dress come on follow the address to the clerk additive form your right to the post office and minsky this is like this is like [ __ ] what's that that's a game luigi's missing marius misses our marge mrs. Dorset's and the doors like Cosmo Kramer you practically skid to a halt right in front of the post office clerk waving your arms phonetically and shrieking like a fishwife but you slept the form down on the desk and brain and begin walking back and forth on your feet nervously waiting to find out if you caught Jules letter well I hate to be the bearer of bad news with without how you went up with what with how wound up you seem to be over all this since the clerk but the driver just left with the bundle of mail that got your letter in it however I've got all that right here and I can tell you where it's gonna end up if you want to you know out slightly and the clerk proceeds to mark down the address of the facility the jewels letters bound form as soon as the pen is off to the paper your snap to form up and have a look following the address to the clerk and then Adam tear form you are after the post office in Jackson Hole Wyoming you limp into the post office haven't just - given yourself a real gnarly charley horse isn't rounded the corner of the building man I hate it when that happens I sure do rubble your leg muscle and sort of balling awkwardly as a result as result you make your way to the service desk and hand to the hand to clerk your Foreman after there's a few moments of typing the clerk looks at the end looks at you and shakes their hand unfortunately for you that letter isn't there a here our records show that has already been processed and was just sent back onto the road about five minutes ago you might as well be get oh my god she might be able to get to where it's headed before if he had out right away though after all you're going straight out there while the truck has to make the other stops they jot down the address on your forearm and headed back oh my god oh well that's the bad news on the bright side at least you you massage the pain out of your leg muscle good thing too since you got more running around to do and never answer fall out of dradis the clerk attitude headed to your proform you arrived at the post offices are Hannibal rushing to the post office making a beeline straight for the front desk huffing and puffing you quietly hand your official form to the clerk and take a moment to try and catch your breath however just as you start to feel your heart be returning to normal speed the clerk chimes in how sorry so is it looping this [Music] bora-bora it's just [ __ ] looping it's just [ __ ] looping so just keep pressing anyway oh my god okay hey it seems like you're having a really bad day so I really hate to tell you this but later you're looking for has already come and gone the Clark says seems like you got a more racing and chasing to do Oh God maybe eventually can you psyche it's randomly selected from a list of 50 different city names and showing you one a five different so it's pointless it's pointless oh god it begins to dawn on you that this has turned into a wild goose chase no matter how fast you go no matter what path to take it seems like the mailman is always one step ahead of you it's just some kind of cruel joke what you need to serve this whatever the case one thing is clear the tangled web the pissed postal system has woven isn't going to be straight enough by you it's a Gordian knot and then you left your sword at Toma you and Jules letter are separated from one another by a vast yawning yawning chasm and now you've run out of ideas on how to close the gap the real kicker is ago is you could have been doing something way more productive with your time than this literally and of the other ideas you have autumn probably would have turned out better however wasting all this time run air all over hell all over hell like creating during this fiasco is probably going it's too late to switch gears or is it if the letter is taking this long to actually got delivered maybe there's still a chance to pull wanna pull up one of your other ideas and the gears start turning and the smaller comes to your face you decide to head back to the apartment and try to start all over again there's still a chance you can make this happen and dammit you're gonna try with renewed vigor you're here rush out to the door and immediately hit by the mail truck King [ __ ] yes in an ironic twist of fate the moment you gave up on the trying to catch up on the mail it seems that the mail caught up to you Neels in to say be pretty hard to stop the letter with tire tracks across your brain and so Joe's Christmas was ruined the game is over you never reach the secret bonus round it's a shame because you really could have used two exponents from Britta the title is serene I think the game is starting to corrupt itself now oh my god can I reset the game a game is dying [Music] birds okay okay well I'll tell you what we're gonna do this tomorrow as well I'm gonna ask you to zero if you're in chat yarn chats actually uh I want to see the I want to see the real ending now can you get don't tell me exactly but I know I'm supposed to traveling somewhere can you drop another hit [Applause] dude tomorrow no I want to do it today but we do all the other ones tomorrow as well their tire traction your May gonna be hard to read it he's flying to the North Pole is it that obvious all right okay well for the best thing they took Joe's email and choose them to tell about it later then go over Santa's okay let's not save Christmas at all [ __ ] it Goddard in this bit Thanks okay so [Music] so the best ending checks Joel's email shoes to tell them about it later then go to Santa okay you got it there okay well yeah you got it - [ __ ] so I saw that s skip over thinks and I pressed the wrong thing I've I have a pixel on my crotch okay okay here we go website looks great in half okay careful careful careful careful careful careful hat yeah it's probably better not to answer it's probably it's probably better not to answer it yourself and after all you're not going to be able to actually hold up to any deals to make on Joel's behalf but you're definitely gonna remind them about this later [Music] okay let me leave it there let's make sure let me do this as well a safe state on five and then here we go North Pole land and a charter plane this has up takeshi's challenge vibe to it I can off that side like out like a subconscious decision but it's got that sort of like brutal death and just chaos feel to it that I love them and I mean North Pole there we go except it isn't as tempting as it might be to just go somewhere else and maybe just get Joel something some nice gifts for yourself inside it's still best used to go to the North Pole and make things right you charter a flight to the top of the world and head to the boarding area straight away after oh my god dad and I may be in-flight movie turns out to be one of Christmas classics jingle all the way one of Joel's favorites all that Artie he just can't catch a break can t they reminder of all the flights is uneventful oh my god and after a few hours said the plane touches down on the run away after the planing you stopped to look at the mana great souvenirs the airport gift shops and then make a beeline straight for the Santa's workshop then oh my god here we go finally you made it Santa's workshop stands before you you gaze with all and a sense of childhood shot like wonderment watching his elves hurry around the floor assembling toys and moving them there and there it's kind of like a Christmas themed ant farm except you know elves well garbage filled my course of action are you going to take you've got a couple of different options now that you're here I suppose you can figure you can try and sneak into the mailroom and look for the letter trying to try and alter the naughty/nice list so that joy is beyond reproach or trying to find the big man himself Santa Santa probably save you just in case quietly sneaking around behind the scenes of Santa's hustling bustling toy factory you search for the big man himself after all who better for approach about this whole mess than the guy in charge of things in Tampa ever poked and ran for a bid you finally find jolly ol st. Nick talking to one of his elves it's kind of an awe-inspiring moment for you like standing in the presence of something wholly unreal like a bigfooter an honest politician yet there is a largest life and it's just as real you can hardly contain your childlike Glee now that now that you found him what's the next course of action garbage feel to him blunt blind Santa but why I'm saving I want to see what the hell this is you suddenly realize that Santa can't read Joe's awful letter if you can't see jaws awful letter and considering your phantom Deford letter why not just make it so they'll never see the letter of course how obvious clearly this is the greatest Tecton tactical decision is Napoleon attacked Waterloo soundly you wait for the elf to leave Santa alone attention in the air is palpable and you can feel your throat beating in your throat feel your heart beating your throat after what feels to you like an eternity finally off sees fit to walk away this is it the time to strike is now with Catholic stuff you sneak into position and [ __ ] behind father Christmas and ready your cause for action you've only got one shot at this garbage Fielder so you'd better make the strike count calling back on your haunches you prepare this pounce and then with one mighty leap you soar towards your jolly holiday prey okay yeses you're about to land your attack suddenly Santa Claus is no longer there he's simply vanished without a trace as if by magic clearly hell did he go you can't very well blind a guy if you can't see him Oh before you have time to figure out what happened you hear a sound of boots lying on the floor behind you glancing back nervously you see exactly what you feared you would a very angry Santa Clauses just teleported behind you nothing personal kid he grows with a tone of grim confidence you scramble to run away but to no avail you're not gonna seem to make it a make it a Danish before a powerful kick slams into your back sending you screaming across the room moments before you slamming to a brick wall and lose consciousness you find yourself questioning where this plan went wrong probably the part where you try to blind Santa I'd wager what would you even try to attack Santa Claus the most powerful warrior on the planet a how how was this even ever gonna have help you even if you succeeded how would he still be able to deliver gifts without his eyes what the hell is wrong with you you [ __ ] cat the quest is over you are our level 3 bet bet back boy we did not join any gills your parents in level 9 of the gloom keep dungeon at the hands of the Lord a sword [Music] let's let's do that again talk to Santa try to contain your oh and wonder at the very sign of Santa you cautiously approach the big man himself and tugging this coat to try and get his attention he turns and looks it down at you with a smile on his face Oh what how we're here uh yes leaning down to look at you in the face careful isn't garbetts field tenderness twenty-seven favorite caught on catch what brings you to the North Pole well you see a butterflies fluttering about of your stomach it's about Joel here sent your letter and uh oh yes Joel slips off he says with a sudden says with a sigh and a disappointed shake of the head he was poised to give a pretty good haul this year before the particular document crossed my desk oh boy it looks like he already got it it's gonna make this a whole lot tougher than you thought Marie girths Sesenta placing a hand on your shoulder that boy sent you here to try and convince me that the mean-spirited vitriol if what the paper was a mistake and they didn't mean it well no you ain't reject I mean I am he didn't send me I came on my own because I wanted to help my friend he really did make a mistake mr. Claus honest and you're and for truly he he just had a lot of drinkin he'll well part of my friend servant he was just taking the piss oh really reply st. Nick and what if I'm still not pleased with my buddy wrote even if it was a joke what can you say in is the fence garbage filled how will you convince me he doesn't belong firm long and naughty list despite the soul trip leading up to this particular it happens you're not actually prepared with solid answer to this question what should you say in Joel sent defense oh boy he'll be mad at me kind of dumb but means well more popular than you the meaning of Christmas I'll be your best friend more popular than you more proper than stand-up now I'm gonna do the can of wait I want to see the can of wait before we do this the best friend if this turns into me delivering president of Santa I'll be real happy oh come on you say class me your hands together to beg I'll be your best friend carpet feels really this is what you're going to do please please please you beg oh please please you beg fought your knees I'll do anything you want I promise I swear please Corbett food center place I call and look on both discomfort concern on his face this refuse to have a little self-respect to hell with self-respect you grab the bottom of his coat with both hands to stare up to this face I need the Santa I'm begging you to do this for me I can't garbage filled he says the tone of finality Nastase tall most not fear no amount of humiliating begging is going to change that now please go home don't make the ELSA score dropped apparently crying knowing full well that you've failed to save Christmas you slowly walk at the door to sit to Santa's workshop as you leave an elf gives you a complimentary bottle of coca-cola lies a sort of consolation price it doesn't have to nothing to help you feel any better and make the long trip home utterly miserable oh god damn it you'll Schulz having the air in frustration for my presence yes if they're watching and feeling awful about it it's his stomps around the apartment shaking every nook and cranny as Santa would have honestly let have left the gifts in the closet under the sink if only to have a backbone maybe you'd have avoided all of this oh what the hell he says we're using - you're stalking you racing into your stalking you did get me something you did get me something but I didn't get throws it into he throws it to you and gets back to this pointless hunt for lost presents quietly you're all wrapped in small presents and see what you got inside to find a cassette tape and a note from Santa Claus there garbage field while joel may not have been a good boy this year you show great kindness by coming here and trying to appeal on this behalf however your obvious lack of self respect deeply saddened me and so I figured you could use this glancing at the tape you see that it is a self health tape and I'll unleash your unleashing your inner lion how to be the king of your look jungle narrated by Stephen Fry judging from the time you're assuming it's some sort of thing with the [ __ ] Simba he's big cat metaphors to help you improve your sense of self worth it it brings a tear to your eyes to see that Santa truly cares about you to think that after what a fool you made of yourself that he still seemed fit to try to help you you don't sound like let's throw it from behind you Molly staring you mile is startling you you turned you turn to face him it doesn't look happy looks like you must have read that note over your shoulder so I didn't get anything is this arms crossed because you didn't have the cojones to stand up for me the chips were down and you just [ __ ] blew it well uh he Yanks the tape proud of your enhance it shakes it in your hand face this tape this right here this is my gift now I don't need whatever crap it's all here so I'm gonna use it this this to record the demo for my next album in honor of your fucked-up side me it's gonna be the spineless cat to ruin everything and I'm sure it's gonna be a big hit well that's really mean mm you hope Santa's not you know hope Santa's naughty list for next year starts January 1st and not right after Christmas or else it looks like you will having to defend him again once more without a spine to keep you upright no man it's got a jerk probably and begging like a depressed coward turned out to be the wrong option and now joel has done a heel turn and taken from you the one thing that might have prevented it happening again enacted practically Asher so you'll have to do this whole thing again next year they were so close to the true ending as a parting gift please enjoy this coffee of garbage filled saves Christmas the VR experience a truly stunning full 3d game in which anything is possible ridiculously expensive VR equipment and a mandatory PC hardware upgrades did not included oh man all right let's see that true in there yeah and I guess I got to be that this is ridiculous this one is ridiculous you guys want to see this one for true ending okay not to downplay your significance you say with a smug grin but I think Joel is more popular than you she's Mia Santa seems to generally confused by your statement I'm just saying you you continue the kiss he stays snow what they like and and it's not a jolly chubster with a shaggy bear with an brightly colored suit they want someone who wants them laugh with jokes about boo boo and peep peep and smoking comfy in a goofy voice while laughing himself in a coma at its own antics if your stands there in a sound disbelief so you know maybe if you oh so you know maybe if you give Joel a good haul this Christmas maybe I can get him to put them in a good word for you jolly ol Saint Nick doesn't look very jolly at the moment as he stands there Robin is book growing frustration weird some of these as if in your bowl statement really annoyed them or something but that can't be right can it Luther Grover's field he says leaning close and putting an arm around you let me ask a very simple question how many billboards has Joel been on this lifetime I don't know your place scratching your head I think maybe he once climbed up onto one stockholm on an Air Arm on 32 ambassadors in the Metro Detroit area alone santa city tells you slowly and calmly whole many products banjo-like person let me and you say i sketching head i I'm pretty sure I saw some t-shirts on RedBubble featuring a cartoon of his face oh man like it was this one that said old king Joel place and packet way of the storm the United States dedicates at least an entire aisle for poet with me on them for the last quarter of the year every year for the just about the puss on the Dia's you know maybe uh maybe I didn't think this argument through it's probably the understatement of the year but it's all you can think of to say yes but you showed it and says santa handing you a coca-cola that coin conveniently had him on it now take the no victors coke home as a parting gift and go home next thing you know you're the back of the oil you're on the cold with the door and Santa's workshop locked behind you with only an ice-cold coca-cola to show for your efforts well an effective press agents you're not whatever the case this was your last chance and you blew it all you can do now is make your way back home and let the bed bad times roll Christmas morning comes and it's expected there's nothing for Joel below the tree he stands angrily he stands there Joss slack just only angrily at the void we're expected gifts in what the [ __ ] [ __ ] oh my god that presents forget about that you say we need to think about licensing them the hell are you on about garbage filled it you know like for your image you say pulling a charter for your inventory and tapping it with the pointer didn't know that Santa Claus appears on more billboards in Plano Texas than you ever have in your life this is a big opportunity we're missing here Joel you had something to do with this Joel groans didn't you enough about how I may or may not have failed to prevent you from ruining Christmas we've got a real problem on our hands how to get you a licensing deal to appear on the cans of Pepsi all over the world I got so mad i glitched out this is completely idiotic garbage feels he replies rolling a sighs I'm gonna go get a nice juicy pizza and when I get back you better have made me a nice Christmas gift he throws on a coat and quickly hurries at the door slamming it behind it moments later he it opens again and he pops his head back in and I have better come from at heart I'll be able to tell damn it as well as expected you just weren't up to the job at hand garbage filled you totally biffed fifty but Santa you have totally bought it with jewels and now you may have less than an hour to make ingenuine heartfelt gift for Joel Orie honestly probably gonna throw out a fit oh well guess it's time to get out the macaroni and glue you're so close to the trending as a parting gift police enjoy garbage filled saves Christmas the hallmark original movie starring Colin McArthur e-pass Santa Bobcat Goldthwait s garbage filled and featuring TVs David Faustino is Joel Jarvis in Wow let's see that true ending yet the meaning of Christmas I just wanted to help my best friend you save it aside sometimes he might not treat me right sure he might not always recognize how much I love him regardless he still asserts nice things isn't that what the spirit of Christmas is all about Santa give enough yourself to bring kindness and joy to the people you love that's all that I want to do now bring joy to my best friend and as for that letter sure it might be mean-spirited he said some pretty rude things about you in it and I understand your being upset by that but you have to think about the context of wrote it in what was he doing when he wrote it he was live on twitch streaming some goofy [ __ ] for Christmas or reading this or whatever some goofy [ __ ] for Christmas for an audience or thought sense do you think he was doing it for the money for the attention or thus Garfield Garfield saying no he does it for the same reason that he brought me here he wants to make people happy sure that ad revenue is nice and yes he's having fun but he wouldn't bother if you weren't knowing it know it for the dough an audience out there who's live she is a little bit less less terrible thanks for his antics people tell him that all the time how he's helped him get out of a slump he made them laugh during a hard time in their lives well just put a big goofy smile on their face and he's always glad to hear it he cares Santa he really does at this point in your speak you start you start to feel the tears coming your emotions are getting the better of you try as you might to keep a strong facade up i I don't know where I'd be without him either you know always bumbling around and messing the things up with my panic and my flights of fantasy where would I be without somebody like Jules to ground me in reality when things are at their worst tere Foley you look right into Santa sighs if you can't find it in your own heart to forgive them then I'm going to tell you what I'm going kind of read then I'm going to tell you what my one and only Christmas wishes whatever you were going to give it to me give it to him the only thing I really want for Christmas is to see his smiling face aw Santa wipes up tears from his eye and then leans tan from you it leans to into you and gives you the warmest most genuine hug you've ever felt in your life some of this this only makes you more emotional and you saw openly into his shoulder he Pat's you on the back to comfort you garbage garbage filled he says sting consoling you your words are so genuine then your heart is so big you believe yourself to be account for fear in Joel's misguided answer anger and a weekly for showing your feelings to me but you're not oh not just anyone would drop what they are doing and rush to the North Pole is to try and help our friend no matter how much they mean to them that you would come here all by yourself shows courage and some people hide their Moses away keeping away keeping out of sight to fear and others will judge them if they see for you to be so open with them in front of a veritable face of judgement shows are too strong but most of all garbage filled you're right Joel as is a good boy most of the time anyway he might have said some naughty things in this letter but he did while doing something nice and front of so many people don't you worry he says finally standing up Joel will get his Christmas and so will you as for that letter I'll just tear it up and forget it ever happened just do me a favor will you yes Santa next year hide their liquor when the holiday hits okay you snort and a Santa begins laughing is jolly trademark lamp full football you can't help a laugh along with them then with one less hug and a compliment bottle of coca-cola he sent you on your way back home with a warmth in your heart Christmas morning Chernus word Santa deliver gifts to for both guys you don't have to do that thanks for both garbage Phil and Joel Christmas morning came and sold it too did the time for opening presents while Joel is thinking about where to start you're reaching to your hearts to your stockings to see what you got curiously after pulling out various little bags of chocolates and a new toothbrush you found an envelope at the bottom of your stalking as you expected it says it's a it's from Santa you quickly tear open and see what it has got to say tea skies deer garbage field I thought I thought a lot about what you said about to me at North Pole and the other day taking they all about how all he wanted was to see Joel smile after some consideration I came up with something that I think you're going to love I hope it makes your holiday just a bit more Mele with love Santa Claus said as you're finished reading your letter you glanced up and see that Joel has finally grabbed the present and sat down on the floor to open it however it seems there was an envelope attaches to gift as well what the hell as well I'm not swearing what the heck ask Joel Racing an eyebrow did Santa write me a letter that's a [ __ ] weird casually tearing up the envelope open he posted letter out unfolding it it looks like Santa's got a lot more to say to him than he did to you he's pretty long dear Joel there's something that you need to be made aware of you were very close to not getting a Christmas this year you may not remember it well but while drunkenly streaming they are today you wrote an awful runner to me I haven't forgotten forgotten by the next day sent it to me I was fully prepared to put you on a naughty list in fact I did and you'd still be there but not for your little friend garbage filled he came all the way to the North Pole just to ask my forgiveness on your behalf I was skeptical but he made an argument that moved me he told me about how much you love making other people happy through your streaming how you always smile when you hear about another person whose birthday got better when they watched one of your videos he told me that even though you don't always treat him nice and that he doesn't did he don't seem to recognize how much he cares about you and he rather have me giving you anything I was planning to leave him for Christmas because all he needed was to see your smile I hope that you has praised it all that he did for you this year Joel there more came to the North Pole all by himself just to find me and he poured his heart out just to make sure you'd get presents to say nothing of the many many terrible and dangerous things he could have been tried to do instead he considered everything from the breaking into a haunted house to scouring the Gobi Desert with haven't done yet to find you to the perfect gift it was where he was willing to risk him very life just for you he loves you Joel all he wants to do I bet that Gobi Desert shed it's like Perry's the car ally but whatever all it wants to be your best friend and I see you be happy do what you will with this information as I can't very well tell you how to feel but I thought you need to know have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year love Santa Claus by the time he finishes reading it letter from Santa he's just simply crying settling down and wiping the tears from his eyes he walks over sits down by you on the couch a garbage feel he says sniffling I I never knew how much you really cared about me I kind of just thought about you know you were just hanging around and try knowing me what no way you reply honestly surprised I never do that Joel you're like the coolest guy I know hanging out with you is a blast even on days where you're cranky and mean Santa told me everything and man what I thought I'd do this serve you garbage filled I mean some idiot who makes PP pupal jokes while playing video games on the Internet I'm like a [ __ ] garbage can with googly eyes glued to it hey that's what makes you cool you're used by regular guy like anyone else and yet every every week you spent a few hours just making having fun and making people smile there's nobody else I'd rather live with garbage filled I'm sorry I've been so mean to you in the past you're not a [ __ ] can't you're my best friend jolene jolene sinned against you a big hug bursting a dam in your brain and flooding it with serotonin you hug him back or anything from here to here now calm all garbage filled says spring into his feet let's open our presents as a to you sit there on the living-room floor tearing wrapping paper from gift boxes like excited schoolchildren your heart feels like warm and bright while you share and compare your respective halls laughing and enjoying each other's company one thing is certain this is the happiest you've ever been in your life Joel had never quite like garbage filled but with a little bit of Christmas magic called it all of that changed forever the two newfound friends became inseparable even going so far to stream together time to time and so to borrow a time-worn turn a phrase they lived happily ever after a merry Christmas to all and to all a good night what [ __ ] what a game I'm so happy I did this on Christmas Day oh man huh where we going damn it's a lot of games in here alien 3 back to the future paddle mania Battletoads bonanza bros oh my God look at all these credits man this is the true ending by the way we're gonna do all the other endings to tomorrow you know Fanny system Flintstones ghostbusters ghouls and ghosts okey doke haven't seen that one yet Jungle Book Last Action Hero Lethal Weapon 3 master of Darkness Mighty Morphin Power Rangers did that one need a guide and not that one Popeye predator to Prince of Darkness Prince of Persia sorry rocky I think I heard rocking before actually but x-men and damn a cheese Swiss did some too huh oh all the composer said games where they work you think you're we're giving them this is enough our business but you got help with this you have to tell people hey I'm making the game for this [ __ ] man [Music] that's pretty funny alright everyone is the decision of the Joel Jarvis set for original treat creating garbage filled inspiring this mess after the holiday season was over garbage filled reminded Joel about that email he got and curious he read it and decided he was interested in Ian's proposition needed a stream together named us Hill heirs for all involved this post credits the stinger is in Canada but it could be with Joss help it will be absolute it would absolutely make this my best Christmas ever if it's a yes to me thank you very much for playing this product took over a year of working on on and off this I hope you had as much fun playing as had making an or well more fun this is a headache at times [ __ ] huh Never Say Never man yeah I'll be down to clown I've been down to clown possibly possibly not tomorrow but we'll see we'll see definitely not a no I'll say yes I'll say yes but probably probably probably maybe maybe really hereit's I don't know we'll see but absolutely well [ __ ] that's great too that is great but man garbage feel says quite a [ __ ] game it is probably the like one of the best fan games I've ever played honestly just absolutely amazing really well mr. stream caught out there oh I'll be back here I'll be back here I'll be back here I'll be all back okay I was just saying I don't see oh I heard me but I say yeah I'm so I'll be down I'll be down to clown for sure this this game was fantastic we haven't even seen all the endings all the paths all that I did a really bad job reading all this tonight because I I just woke up but that's kind of the essence of Christmases and not you know but this was a real treat this is probably if not the best fan game I've ever played um it's just so [ __ ] good so [ __ ] good loved it I loved it just serious killer stuff and I'm so glad I did this on Christmas because that ending was just perfect for it you know it's so perfect but this is this is a treat this had so much humor and again I haven't seen all the endings and stuff so you know but yeah absolutely I'll get it I'll get in contact for sure but you know I'm super happy about this this awesome great job and we'll do more tomorrow we'll do all the other endings tomorrow for sure hopefully this time schedule or timeslot is like okay for you because you know I want you around for form and I stream it but yeah this was awesome and thank you so much for sending it to me thank you so much for making me this incredible game I think me and Chad we had a blast playing through it and you know I wish more more there was more vine sauce at games like this that was just of this biblical quality cuz this was a treat and it was Donald Sega Master System too like you could have done this in like I don't know some other Indian but you chose to do this and in a very archaic game engine so that's pretty pretty amazing but yeah I'm gonna think when I call it here this was uh this was a fantastical treat garbage filled saves Christmas and I I loved it I loved it well once again sorry for the sloppy sloppy reading because again I just woke up I still have like sand in my eyes gonna quote but yeah but tomorrow we'll do the Christmas DOS games instead with this stuff and we're gonna do a Christmas giveaway as well but this was a this was a true treat this is a true treat and I highly highly enjoyed it AB so lutely all right well I went to the orc let's see here uh eh wait like [ __ ] but I list my least leave off I'm gonna consult my own stream here this is ridiculous I'm gonna consult my own stream that's what I'm talking about I left off at this okay got a double check before yourself sometimes you know from Gus here's an evil vark friend he's drinking [ __ ] he's from Norway so you know new new remote remote new King gay that's pretty funny Kendra tail - this is me playing hey Bo Han peepee poo-poo gamer yeah you know you know I gotta say there was a guy during hypo Telestream that kept begging for it unban him so we checked the logs for the guy who got banned guess what he was never banned he just wanted to tell her but to be unbanned there wasn't that right like like we tracked that guy down and I asked him like what the [ __ ] like I didn't like ban him like I didn't do [ __ ] and like I don't know man but instead of contacted mods he like set for years and asking me I don't know I don't know I don't know what the [ __ ] but I guess it was just a joke I know but you can't escape from us dual Baba hide you'll really enjoyed your hair ball tail stream that's very important so I it's so important I created this horrible art hope you enjoy I love it look at that deal this was this was zero diamond you know again this is tonight's stream so there you go this is this was tonight's game funnily enough so hey there you go dorm said that this breaking news Swedish man chased through habbo hotel by crowd of rabid chat members varsity Oliver Ross respected Pepsi Pepsi gamer gamer man that's great that's great - would you guys like a second have will tell string cuffs a lot of fun I was gonna do a sub one off but I think a lot of people really did enjoy that you know yeah from this light here's a Swedish Crimbo with friend it's Christmas it is Christmas especially a merit miss Fossey yesterday's christmas is over for me for me but for you guys it's like you guys are opening presents in the morning right yes sheep it's Christmas oh-ho-ho nice work from which Decker is a really cool piece of work take dessert it's a Crimbo vog shroom while some people enjoy listen to your strengths and fall asleep they kept me awake to pull some all night returns finals weeks thank you based take your base Joel AmericanMuscle I appreciate that that's really really cool huh I like that I really like that yeah did I have those Christmas lights like right now in my apartment you know you know what makes me a little sad taking down Christmas ornaments because I don't put that [ __ ] down because it's it's it it decorates the apartment nicely you know I don't put that keep the keep that around [ __ ] it - just leave it kept baked make it turn that [ __ ] down no great art great art I love the I love the the animation of the the kaepa specialist really good animation really really well huh a chili image what it's really really well done I love it really really really cool damn awesome job really really awesome job thank you so much which dagger I really really really like that awesome job awesome job Merapi did this is this animated I don't think so but hey look at Mary Crimbo it's it's a little shroom some lights friend with a gift and a raccoon eating my Santa beard that's adorable ah double beards yeah hey Joe spinner was my last upload hope you liked it I wish you a Merry Christmas to drink cocoa appreciate that thank you so much that's adorable that is adorable there's something because in Sweden we have this tradition on Christmas that we watch these Disney schwarz all sweetened ustus it's super super tradition look it up Sweden Donald Duck tradition right and that they show Robin Hood like a caught version of Robin Hood and I've never seen the full version of Robin Hood but there's a scene that makes me laugh every time it's we're the Robin Hood is putting all the animals on this like big and what you might call it the the wheel barrel whatever and all these animals aren't all and then that there's this raccoon that are dressed as prisoners a little prison outfit I love that that [ __ ] cracks me up okay okay all right very nice art thank you so much ger I'm here Santa oh god I got a do I can do more America assaulted at tonight's technically so yeah that's really good Gianna excellent job love it them dry mary did this you always that is that that gingerbread the NS gingerbread hey Joel I was making a crisp Christmas cookies today and I couldn't resist making a cookie friend oh that's awesome that is awesome we don't really do cook Christmas cookies with these do gingerbread and we do like but the the white stuff we don't really do in Sweden we used to do like this hang on our car Chris our Christmas [Music] Christmas cookies like this we just we just we just kind of do this this is the Swedish style but that that's really cool that's really cool I like it too a lot I hope I hope it tastes good doesn't taste like a mouthful of razor blades excellent job thank you so much Kevin's wrote this it's me in the is actually a from the people's playground stream and it's funny because you know like that was done in September and cyber truck was like unveiled in November and I forgot to upload the stream and I predicted that [ __ ] I was like I was putting Elon Musk eat us in the car I'm like ha ha look it's Ilan scar whatever and then suddenly ooh but maybe more people's playground at some point but that's really awesome looks like we're time traveling I like that book too that's pretty good yeah very nice very nice Oh Oh like did this him super art yes yes you said go a while with the art so I did by the quality of the computer looked darker warmer so when I was drawing it draw from Photoshop I was looking more it was looking more lively when I upload it to the Internet it because became lighter oh really okay looks pretty good here's the cats here zoo present list it's got weird face but I like it that game is [ __ ] crazy I love it too very nice and from spelunking here we go here's here's garbage feeling friend it was an amazing stream with such an amazing game I had very have a Mary Mary Mary Crimbo with these two best friends absolutely you know it you know it well that's the art for today there's gonna be more Christmas stuff tomorrow technically on your American Christmas Day there's gonna be gift giveaways I went I want to remind you once again you can just stay and chat when I'm doing the giveaway and it's just gonna be games given out there's gonna be a raffle system and you know III I appreciate all the subscriptions and stuff to me and all the gift is stuff but I'm again like every year I'm letting everyone have a chance you only need to be in chat you don't need to give me anything I give you stuff and I'm not gonna give games out like fallout then the and some some little fun little packages I've made together like a little personal packages you know maybe some songs I'm giving out to the winners but yeah there you go that's a stream I hope you all enjoyed this was a real treat thank you so much once again to 0x diamond [ __ ] awesome game and I can't wait to play more of it tomorrow but yeah tomorrow we're gonna do some more Christmas DOS games we might do some Christmas stories we might do some whatever it might be but gonna be a long stream tomorrow this is more of an impromptu thing really but yeah anyway thank you so much for watching a tip of the day no tip at all used Merry Christmas Merry Christmas happy Kwanzaa Happy Hanukkah whatever whatever religious holiday this Happy Holidays you know hope you have a good day if you're not having a good day I hope that your day gets better eat some meat if you don't eat meat eat a carrot yeah I don't know furry although I hope you have a good good Christmas I had a good Christmas yesterday and all the best all the best you know but yeah anyway I'm gonna see us live on by sauce I'm gonna host them I've been very hungry this dream by the way because I've been thinking about the Christmas food that's leftover and I have this I have this batch of like Crimea potatoes and I'm gonna put in the oven I'm like yeah anyway we got holy s--t live almost video bomb he's streaming some spooky Santa games check that out but yeah check back tomorrow for more Christmas stuff once again thanks for CRX diamond for putting this amazing game together I've thoroughly enjoyed it beer tomorrow for Christmas giveaway [ __ ] show up and boom and tomorrow there might even be a Christmas vine yard with some Christmas movies that I enjoy it's a lot of games and stuff and all that stuff anyway thanks so much for watching see you around and y'all stay safe peace it

Channel: Vargskelethor Uncut: Full Joel Streams

Views: 94,664

Keywords: vinesauce, joel, full, stream, unedited, playthrough, part, vargskelethor, garbagefield, garfield, arino, grand dad, flintstones, visual, adventure, text, zeroxdiamond, doom, japan, gamecenter cx, bulk bogan, dracula, wrestling, ending, christmas, holiday, xmas, special

Id: 3tEhbq6Oev0

Length: 198min 2sec (11882 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 25 2019