>>> YOU CAN FEEL THE EXCITEMENT IN STUDIO, OUR FRIEND VALERIE BERTONELLI HANGING WITH US. FIRST TIME IN MORE THAN TWO-AND-A-HALF YEARS. >> HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE. WE LOVE HOW HONEST AND OPEN SHE IS, SHARES SUCCESSES, SETBACKS, HEART BREAKS. >> WHY DO I DO THAT? >> I THINK THAT'S ONE OF THE GREATEST TRAITS. I THINK WHAT YOU SAY OUT LOUD PEOPLE ARE SECRETLY THINKING ABOUT THEIR OWN LIVES BUT DON'T HAVE THE GUTS TO SAY IT. YOU HAVE A VOICE. YOU SPEAK. >> WHEN I SAY IT OUT LOUD, SO MANY PEOPLE REACH OUT, SAY I FEEL THE SAME WAY, FEEL LIKE I AM DOING IT IN A SELFISH WAY, MAKES ME FEEL NOT ALONE, MAKES ME FEEL BETTER TO GET THE MESS OUT OF MY MOUTH AND DOESN'T SIT HERE ANY MORE. >> ONE OF THE THINGS YOU TALKED ABOUT AND WE ALL FELT IS BODY IMAGE, THAT YOU'RE ON A CONSTANT SORT OF TALK WITH YOURSELF ABOUT FEELING GOOD IN YOUR SKIN WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE SCALE. >> I HADN'T GOTTEN ON THE SCALE SINCE I FINISHED WRITING THE BOOK. HERE I GO AGAIN. I APOLOGIZE TO "TODAY" SHOW AUDIENCE. IT IS VERY EMOTIONAL. >> WHY? >> I LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MONITOR, TRYING NOT TO JUDGE MYSELF TOO HARSHLY, I AM HOLDING ON TO WEIGHT BECAUSE IT IS PROTECTING ME BECAUSE I AM GOING THROUGH CHALLENGES AND HEARTBREAK, CRAZY STUFF GOING ON IN MY LIFE. I AM GOING TO HAVE THE VULNERABILITY HANGOVER TOMORROW OR SOON. I KNOW THIS WEIGHT IS PROTECTING ME NOW. WHEN I GET HEALTHIER INTERNALLY AND EMOTIONALLY THE WEIGHT WILL COME OFF. I AM TREATING MY BODY BETTER, DRINKING LESS ALCOHOL, EATING LESS SUGAR, PUTTING IN MORE VEGETABLES. MY BODY IS DOING THIS FOR A REASON. I AM GOING TO HATE THIS. >> YOU'RE NOT. >> I THINK THAT COMMENT ABOUT PROTECTING ONE SELF. IT IS FUNNY. YOU HAVE A VULNERABILITY ABOUT YOU, YET AT THE SAME MOMENT YOU HAVE A WALL, TOO. YOU PROTECT YOURSELF AT THE SAME TIME YOU'RE OPEN. >> THIS WALL IS THINKING IT IS PROTECTING ME EMOTIONALLY, HERE I AM. ALWAYS AT THE SURFACE. I AM NOT THE ONLY PERSON GOING THROUGH A CHALLENGING TIME. WE'VE ALL BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH. MINE STARTED IN 2016 WHEN MY FATHER STARTED PASSING AND IT SNOWBALLED, MORE THINGS HAPPENED TO ME. BUT I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE AND I'M NOT HERE TO SAY POOR ME. I'M HERE TO SAY WHEN WE REACH OUT TO PEOPLE WE LOVE OR EVEN WE DON'T, STRANGERS EVEN, THAT WE CANNOT -- WE DON'T HAVE TO FEEL ALONE, GO THROUGH IT ALONE. >> I THINK THOSE TEARS ARE SIGNS OF BRAVERY. IF YOU HELD IT ALL IN, IMAGINE WHAT WOULD BE GOING ON. WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT YOUR SUCCESSES. BOOK IS NUMBER ONE, "NEW YORK TIMES" BEST SELLER. YOUR SON WAS NOMINATED FOR A GRAMMY. >> YOUR COOKING SHOW RETURNED FOR A 13th SEASON. >> ANOTHER NOMINATION FOR EMMY. I FORGET THAT STUFF. >> DO YOU LET YOURSELF REVEL AND MARVEL WHAT YOU DO. >> RARELY. I HAVE BEEN TOLD SO MANY TIMES HOW LAZY I AM. >> WHY? >> IT DOESN'T MATTER. ALL IT WAS, THE VOICES I HAD THAT ALREADY TOLD ME THAT, IT WAS JUST SAYING SEE, IT IS TRUE, YOU ARE LAZY. BUT WHEN PEOPLE START TELLING ME EVERYTHING I'VE DONE, THAT'S WHY I'M TIRED BECAUSE I DO WORK HARD AND I LOVE MY WORK. I LOVE IT. I KNOW I AM NOT LAZY, I LIKE TO REST HARD WHEN I REST. >> THAT'S WHAT WE NEED. >> WE'RE ALL LIKE THAT. EVERYONE IS BATTLING DEMONS. HOW DO YOU, I THINK PEOPLE ARE PROBABLY, WE ALL HAVE TERRIBLE DAYS, HOW DO YOU GET UP IN THE MORNING AFTER A TERRIBLE DAY, SAY NOT TODAY. TODAY I'M GOING TO TAKE THIS DAY MYSELF. >> SOMETIMES WHAT I'LL DO, JUST BEFORE OPENING MY EYES, I SAY THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL LIFE THAT I HAVE, NO MATTER WHAT'S GOING ON NOW. I GET TO NOW WALK THROUGH THESE CHALLENGES AND MAKE AN EVEN BETTER LIFE FOR MYSELF. IT IS HARD NOW, BUT WHEN IT IS DARKEST IS WHEN YOU SEE THE LIGHT AROUND YOU. THAT'S WHEN YOU CAN SEE THAT THERE'S GOOD IN EVERYONE'S LIFE. AND THERE IS GRATITUDE TO BE HAD. GRATITUDE IS THAT STAIRCASE WE HAVE TO CLIMB TO GET TO JOY, NO MATTER HOW DIFFICULT, CHALLENGING, DESPERATE WE MAY FEEL, THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING TO BE GRATEFUL FOR ALWAYS. >> ONE OF THE THINGS YOU'RE GRATEFUL FOR IS YOUR LATE HUSBAND, LATE EX-HUSBAND, AND THAT THAT LOVE YOU REFLECTED ON, IT WAS EVEN MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU KNEW. >> I THINK, ED AND I MET, WE WERE SO YOUNG, I WAS 20, HE WAS 25. GOT MARRIED VERY EARLY. GAVE EACH OTHER THE GREATEST GIFT OF OUR LIVES, OUR SON. AND WE NEVER, EVEN WHEN WE WENT THROUGH DIVORCE, IT WAS VERY AMICABLE. YOU DO THIS, I'LL DO THIS. PUT THIS ASIDE FOR WOLFY AND NEVER STOPPED LOVING EACH OTHER. WE WERE MAD AT EACH OTHER FOR AWHILE BUT WE ALWAYS LOVED EACH OTHER. I MEAN, REGRETS. >> THAT WAS A BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP. YOU WENT THROUGH A DIVORCE OVER THE PANDEMIC WHICH A LOT OF PEOPLE FOUND THEMSELVES PROBABLY IN YOUR SAME SHOES. >> WE SEPARATED RIGHT BEFORE THE PANDEMIC. WE AGREED WE'RE GOING TO GET SEPARATED. IT WAS LIKE END OF NOVEMBER, BEGINNING OF DECEMBER OF 2019. AND THE PANDEMIC HIT. OH. CHALLENGING. >> WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM THAT EXPERIENCE? >> THAT I AM STRONGER THAN I THINK I AM AND THAT I AM EMOTIONALLY STRONGER THAN I THINK I AM. AND I DESERVE BETTER THAN I THINK I
