- Which vegan brat's the best? - And which one's the worst? - Let's talk about that. (funky electronic music) (fire crackles) - Good Mythical Morning. - Today we are joined by actor, writer, and now author of the new book Ronan Boyle and the Bridge of Riddles, it's Thomas Lennon! (crew applauds)
- Yo, whoa! Tom! (chuckles) - I did a spit take like I didn't know I was gonna be on your show. Of course I knew--
- You're here, man. - I was gonna be here, I'm here. - You're here.
- It's good to see you. - Goodness, last time we--
- Rhett and the other one. - Saw you we were clothed and in your hot tub.
- That's right. - Rhett and the other one.
- Flashback? - If you guys want.
- All right. - Oh yes! - Okay.
- Great flashback guys. It's fun to be in a
flashback with you guys. - It was so fabulous and hot.
- We know that you're currently living
the vegetarian lifestyle. - I'm an erstwhile vegetarian. I do long chunks as a vegetarian,
then sometimes I don't. - But you're currently
in a stretch right now. - I'm in a stretch right now, yeah. - That's good 'cause that
makes you the perfect candidate for our goal today, to find the best vegan
sausage substitute the world and science has to offer. It's time for ♪ Fake meat of mine ♪ ♪ Buh buh buh ♪ ♪ Vegan sausage is it good ♪ ♪ So good, so good ♪ - I wasn't expecting a theme song, guys. - Yeah.
- That was amazing. - Only for you, Tom. - Could I tell people you
were practicing that before-- - No I wasn't.
- No we weren't. - I don't know why and then spoiler. You could tell that you practiced it 'cause it looked amazing. - So it could be so good.
- All right, we're gonna try the leading
vegan sausage brands and we're gonna rank them
on a scale of one to 10 but because you're a vegetarian, which is, in our minds, almost vegan. - Oh yeah, okay. - Then you're-- - Not in most vegan's minds but-- - Yeah that's true.
- Right. - Your score is gonna count twice. - That makes sense. - Ours is each gonna count once. We're gonna compile all
those scores and come up with the best vegan sausage--
- Great. - Ever.
- People are gonna throw 'em at us. - That might be arranged.
- They will come in an interesting way. The winner will be crowned Vegan Brian. Or it's more of a name tag. Let's get to it. - [Rhett and Link] Round one. - Now each sausage will
be delivered to us via a vegal beagle, it's a
dog and a forced rhyme. Bring in the vegal beagle. (Tom mimics trumpeting) - Oh.
- Oh. - I doubled up on your
music cue, guys, sorry. - Did you--
- No you were just-- - I don't know I just felt it.
- Project your mouth trumpet into like--
- I did. - More of a regal trumpet.
- This is a power that I have. - All right this is the
Lightlife Smart Sausage Italian, so everybody grabby
grabby their sausage here. Soy-based, got some dried
vegetables, potatoes, starch, ooh evaporated cane sugar. - I'm not kidding when
I say it smells amazing. - And it has a very meat-like quality. - [Link] We're gonna dink our sausages. - It does.
- Dink 'em. - And then we're gonna sink our sausages. - [Tom] Oh. - Okay once you get in there,
very evident that this is-- - Not meat.
- Imposing. - Mm.
- You know what I'm saying? - It's confusing a little bit.
- It's a spongy fibrous-- - Boy it's real kinky on the inside. - Yeah.
- It's like-- - It's like eating the
stuffing from a teddy bear. - I feel like this is what
somebody on The Sopranos, what their car smells like. (Rhett laughs) I don't know, I guess I mean that, I mean that in exactly what I thought. You get in the car-- - That's right.
- Okay Paulie Walnuts. - It tastes much better than it feels. - Nah I was at the, it
tastes better than it feels, you say?
- Yeah. Doesn't feel good to me.
- The mouthfeel-- - The mouthfeel is real bad.
(Tom sputters) - I wasn't gonna say real bad. - They're not a sponsor. - They're not?
- Nope. - The mouthfeel's real bad.
(Rhett and Link laugh) It's really-- - I don't mind the taste at all. - Taste is great. - I think I'm going with a five. - It's a one. (Rhett laughs) - God.
- I'm gonna give it a four. - Wow.
- You don't know where we're going from here, I mean,
you might be going negative. - So this was the great one. - I don't know either. - Again, smells wonderful. Smells wonderful, don't you think? - Yeah.
- I love the outside of this casing.
- And you're still giving it a one.
- We got five, four, and one, and that gives us a total of 11. - [Rhett and Link] Round two. - All right bring in the vegal beagle. (trumpeting music) Oh. - Oh.
- It's different music. - [Tom] I'm gonna try to
get this one like this. - He's here, he's here. - Welcome.
- A little long, a little long. Okay, this is--
- The beagle, not only does he have a hat,
he has poor vision apparently. - [Rhett] (laughs) Yeah, right. That's why he's attached to a stick. - Okay.
- He should be led around by. Okay this is Amy's
Meatless Veggie Sausage. It is quinoa and rice,
well quinoa, red rice, tofu and potato.
- Mm-hmm. - Then has a bunch of varied
vegetables in there as well. - Okay we're gonna dink, well
if you bit it, don't dink it. - My favorite thing
about eating all these, 'cause I'm a bit of a germaphobe, is that there's like eight hipster dudes who handle every one
just out of my eye line. - That's what we call--
- And they're just like rolling them around with
their strange mustaches. There's just so many weird
people have touched this by the time it gets to us. - (chuckles) Welcome
to my entire life, Tom. - I'm not sure how much
of the taste is the thing and from the hipster
guys who just handed it-- - Hipster hands. - Hipster--
- Hipster hands, mm. - Definitely your microbiome
is going to be impacted by whatever is on their fingers. - I'll tell ya on the nose, I love it. - And then you bite it and it's crunchy. - I love it.
- Much better texture. - I love it.
- Incidentally, here's a picture of Amy. Actually this is their president
of global, Xavier Unkovic. He loves sausage and karate. - Mm, yeah he does. - We've done our research, Tom. - Guys, it's exactly the right size, which also makes me realize something I didn't really notice about
number one, it was too big. - They were too big.
- It was too large. - It's too big.
- You don't want a sausage-- - This is like, you could sit at the movie and have a bucket of these. (Rhett laughs) - I'll take the--
- They're great. - I'll take the vegan bucket of hipster handed sausages please. - Again, some of this is just
the mustache wax that's on it but it's unbelievably good. If this is, we're gonna go-- - Go for it.
- Go to the board? - I like it. - I've eaten the whole thing. - I legit love it and I'm gonna go... It's a nine. - Whoa!
- Going from one to a nine.
- It's a nine out of 10. Yeah. - I really like it.
- I'm giving it a seven. - I was gonna say seven, okay. Better texture, but I mean
I'm not crazy about it. I don't wanna eat it at the
movies, that's all I'm saying. - [Link] So that brings
us to a total of 32. - [Rhett and Link] Round three. - Bring in that vegal beagle. (trumpeting music) Okay. Yeah. You don't have to play the
whole, I mean, we get it. - All right this is the Tofurky
Artisan Sausage Kielbasa. - Are you sure it's not just three cigars? - It really feels like three cigars. (Rhett and Link laugh) - Oh man.
- I'll take the dented one 'cause it's your show. This one first of all, so hot, you guys. - It's so hot.
- Wow. - Oh my God. Hey, hipster weirdos? (Rhett and Link chuckling) That's like the surface of the sun. That was heated up, you ever get like a breakfast item at Starbucks? - Yes.
- Oh yes, and you have to wait so long. - And then those egg things,
that's what I'm talking about. - Comes out it's like, this is really hot. Does it help to dip it in water? - It could, yeah. - Okay ouch. - Okay sorry. - I think we're gonna get
hurt if we eat this, guys. It's too hot. - Tofu, roasted poblano
peppers, wheat berries. - [Rhett] Oh, oh. - Smell almost nothing on the nose. - [Link] Oh my gosh, it's orange. - We're back to where the first
one was in terms of texture. - Mm-hmm, it's way too thick. It's way too thick and it's-- - It's like biting a pillow. - I feel like I would
like packing peanuts more. - We've had those, they're good. - Just regular packing peanuts. - Mm-hmm. - It tastes like you
left a regular sausage in the attic and then moved out and then someone else moved in. - Yes.
- And then, you move back in after they moved out and the sausage was still
there and then you ate it. - Did you guys see the King Tut exhibit when it was at the museum? - No I thought about it. - If you took a bite out of the actual-- - Yeah.
- King Tut, today. - Right.
- Are you talking mummified Egyptian piece? - Any part, it doesn't even-- - I should have put cat in there. That would have made it more palatable. - I truly hate it. - It's awful.
- It's horrible. - It's really, really terrible. - The fact that it made
it through some kind of research and development process and then--
- That seems impossible. - And then it's on a shelf somewhere. - Is it? This is a real item? By the way I actually love their slices. I don't work for the Tofurky people but I did have Tofurky,
their slices are amazing. - On your way in? - Yeah at home.
- Oh. - I keep 'em at home, I just roll 'em up with yellow mustard. It's amazing.
- Okay. - We believe in you
Tofurky, but not for this. Zero. - We can go zero? I'm gonna go zero on this. - I'm gonna go one just so-- - Why? - Because that leaves the possibility of going completely zero on another one. - And if I'm not mistaken, that brings us to a grand total of-- - One.
- Wow. - [Rhett and Link] Round four. - Cue that beagle. (trumpeting music) Okay, all right, can we get, thank you. - Mm-hmm, all right what is this one? This one is Beyond Meat.
- Oh. - Yeah.
- Uh-oh. - Okay so we've--
- You've heard about the-- - The 66 car from North Carolina. - We've got great experience
with the Beyond Meat company. - These people know what they're doing. - This has got water,
pea protein, refined, you know what, I'm not gonna
read all of the ingredients 'cause that doesn't make it sound good. Let's just imagine--
- Do it. - That it's just sausage.
- Well they call it Beyond Sausage, the original brat flavor. Dink it and sink it.
- Okay smells like a brat. - [Link] You're right. - [Tom] Oh. - They've done something with the texture to create a bounciness. - It feels bratty.
- That you do not get in the other ones. - It apparently sizzles identically to a traditional meat sausage
according to my notes. - Although my question
would be can you cook it like a brat, can you cook it in beer? Which would only make it better. - Can you cook it in beer?
- I like it a lot. We'll take your calls. (Rhett chuckles) - We're taking another bite.
- I wanna keep eating it. I wanna keep eating it. - I actually really like it. - Mm-hmm.
- I really like it. - It tastes of Boulder, Colorado
in a cylindrical casing. - That's a good sausage. - Yeah and this is by the
way, imagine if you put a little interesting mustard on that. - Interesting mustard.
- Yeah. - Not regular mustard.
- And they've, you make a good point that
a brat is not fully a brat until it's mustardfied,
so we're really being hard on these brats.
- Listen, this is pure. - We're isolating the flavor. - This is gonna be very,
very tough to beat. - Yeah.
- Very tough. - You've already given that a nine. - We might have to bust
the top of your scale. - We'll go 10. - Oh.
- I'm gonna go 10 on the Beyond Meat--
- He's respecting the scale. - I won't break the scale
but I believe it's really, really solid.
- I'm going nine. - Yeah, maybe there's something out there, I'm also going nine. Bringing us to a 38. - [Rhett and Link] Round five. - Okay I'm gonna ask
you to bring the dog in but I would just prefer if you
didn't even start the music. Bring the dog out. (trumpeting music) ♪ Brickety doo ♪
- Come on! ♪ Dee dee dee ♪ - You just couldn't help yourself! Look, he's eating one of the sausages. - [Tom] He is, I'm gonna fight him for it. Fight him for it, give
me that, give me that. Who's a good boy, who's a good-- (Link mimics dog grumbling) (Tom chuckles) Three adult men.
(Link mimics dog grumbling) Oh you give me that. Who's a good, who's a good beagle? - Okay.
- Oh. - Morningstar Farms
Original Sausage Patties. - Now Morningstar, they've
been in the vegetarian's-- - [Tom] They've been at it for a minute. - Meat game for a long time. - They've been inside vegetarian for-- - 30 years. Or however long, so we got
water, gluten, soy protein, egg white, spices. It's pretty simple.
- Smells good. - It smells nice and spicy. Can I say this and I mean
this in the best possible way? It smells like when
you're a kid and you walk in a McDonald's, that
kinda smell that like, everything's cooking at one time-- - Oh it does have something like that. - And like a, yeah.
- Nostalgia. - Lardy, (chuckles) childhood lard. - Lardy nostalgia. You are right. Dink it, sink it. Taste it.
- Oh, oh that's good. That's really good. - That's impressive.
- That's pretty good. - Oh man.
- It's interesting 'cause this is, the brat
was trying to be a brat. - Yeah.
- This is a-- - It's a breakfast sausage.
- They're winning with the spices. - Guys.
- I got a good number for it. - I love this.
- I like it. - I do not like it as much as the Beyond. - [Tom] I don't either. - But I do like it.
- I like it a lot. - I like it so much I'm
going to the top of my scale. Tippety top all the way to 10. - I think it's a solid eight. - I went nine before so-- - Hey should we point out
this one has egg whites so it's not really vegan. - Oh.
- Yeah. - That's why I like it so much. - That's why you like it so much. - So this is vegetarian but
it's not technically vegan. - Okay well I can only
still give it the score I'm gonna give it based on taste. - Which is? - Eight. Bringing us to a grand total of 34. - And so with an overall score of 38, the vegan sausage champ and
the title of Vegan Brian goes to Beyond Original Brat.
- Woo! Hit the music, no, don't. Oh yes, do, don't, ah. (Tom mimics trumpet) Look at that.
- Who's good? Who's good, who's good? Who's good?
- Let's put this right on there. - Right on.
- Wrap it up. - Thank you Thomas Lennon for stopping by. Make sure you get his new book. It's Ronan Boyle and the
Bridge of Riddles on sale now. - Get 'em together, can
you get all both together? - Yeah all in one shot. That's an amazing--
- Showbiz. This feels like show business, guys. - [Link] Right, we're doing it. - Thanks for liking,
commenting and subscribing. Now you say you know what time it is. - You know what time it is! - What's up? My name's Josh Hill and
we're in the mountains of South Africa and it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality! - I love the energy. (laughs) Click the top link to watch
us taste top vegan mayo in Good Mythical More. - And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land. (Rhett grunts) - [Rhett] Our summer tour
is officially on sale today. You can see us live in concert
June 21st through the 30th and you can see all the tour
dates at RhettAndLinkLive.com.
Thomas Lennon is great fun. I hope he'll be back again soon!
Thomas Lennon is absolutely one of the naturally funniest people on earth. I loved him in Reno 911 and he is absolutely hilarious in everything I see him in. Great episode!
TIL Thomas wrote The Pacifier, underrated movie. Though I mostly know him from his few minutes on The League. Soup group.
Omfg I’m so excited to get home at watch this. Tom Lennon is one of my favorite people ever. God I wish I didn’t have work all day.
I love Thomas Lennon so much
Who else thinks Sir Kensington’s sales are going to increase due to GMM? Cause I’m buying a bottle after work today. 😋
Wow... It took me forever to remember who Tom Lennon is (sorry Tom lol) and halfway through More, I yelled out loud "Aaaaaa! it's Dangle!"
He's great and was a good guest
Not early but on time..
anyone else notice that 7 +7+9 does not equal 32