Two Gifts: Marriage & Singleness - Pastor Daniel Batarseh

if you have your Bibles meet me in the book of first Corinthians and chapter seven it's that time of the year again where we can all admit it's probably one of the busiest times of the year and for many reasons and here's one of the reasons because we are stirred to think about gifts we start to think about gifts and now as Christians were ultimately stirred to think about the most important valuable gift that God has given humanity and that is his son Jesus Christ but on a practical level we're also bombarded with reminders of purchasing actual presence for people as a small expression of our love and gratitude and we are busy with such a thing now this this concept of gifts and relationship to God is very evident in the Bible meaning God gives gifts He loves to give gifts and we see that throughout the Scriptures the gift of eternal life the gift of His perfect righteousness deposited in your account of mine the gift of grace to be able to overcome the power of sin the gifts of the Holy Spirit in order to equip his people to serve him and serve the church and there's so many gifts if you can categorize anything in your life as good or perfect James tells us it comes from above it's from God but this morning I want us to explore something a concept of God's blessings to his people that we might not label immediately as a gift that we might not see or recognize as something that God gives for us to actually enjoy and it's tucked in in Chapter 7 of first Corinthians verse 7 read with me please look what Paul says he says I wish that all were as I myself am but each has his own gift from God one of one kind and one of another if you and I read this verse isolated from its context it can mean so many different things but the reality of this verse is that it is surrounded by practical commands given by the Spirit through Paul concerning something that we know as marriage in fact chapter 7 is Paul answering questions from the Corinthian Christians that were acquiring some answers concerning different diverse things in the realm of relationships marriage divorce sexuality widowhood and so Paul is just going over these things in this chapter and all for a sudden in verse 7 we see that he says something interesting he says here that there are gifts that God gives to men and I want us to focus on how he describes these gifts and two things that we kind of categorize all humans in terms of relationship under this there's generally two categories you're either single or you're married or maybe it's complicated but that's not that's not a category in the Bible single or married and this is how Paul speaks about gifts at least one dimension of God's gifts now let's notice two things about this verse look what he says here he says I wish all that were all whereas I and myself and what does he mean by that you know what he's saying I wish everybody was single and unmarried as I am that's what he's saying in this verse I wish it was this thing I wish that you guys were an apostle he didn't say I wish you guys can have this specific gift in terms of spiritual gifts he's actually saying here I wish all of you were single now before we think that Paul is speaking unfavorably about marriage this is why we got to understand context Paul is saying this in light of a background that that something is going on with the Corinthians and it's found later on in the chapter look at verse 26 of chapter 7 I think that in view of the present distress do you see this I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is are you bound to a wife do not seek to be free are you free from a wife do not seek a wife so there was something going on during this time when Paul wrote the letter and many believe it was rising persecution that was coming against Christians and so when Paul says I wish you were all as I am he was saying that in light of the fact that it was very difficult during this time to pursue a marital relationship because of all the chaos that was going on against those that were followers of the way so Paul is not speaking unfavorably about marriage when he says I wish you were always like all you guys are married I'm tough luck no he is speaking about people in the place of singleness and he's encouraging them not as a command but as it as a desire from his heart that they should wisely make use of the freedom that they have with the persecution going on to stay in that status of singleness but that's not the point of the message the point of the message is a second part of verse 7 where he says here that there there is a gift that each person has from God one of one kind and one of another and this is what is remarkable we understand what he means here by gifts that the status of singleness and the status of being married are both gifts from God now I present this this morning to us because of many reasons here's one there are many people who are single and Christian who did not view their singleness as a gift but actually as a curse and so they look at their own lives and they think to themselves perhaps with this kind of mindset though maybe not with this strict visualization but it's just an idea here's God like a father at Christmastime and he has all his children sitting there on the carpet while he sits on a chair and he has this bag of gifts and there you are sitting there with your siblings in the Lord and God reaches into that bag and he pulls out a gift and he gives it to your sister in Christ and when she opens that gift it's a good-looking godly guy and she's smiling and she's happy and she's rejoicing in the Lord then God reaches in and he pulls out another gift and he gives it to your brother in Christ and he opens that gift and it's a beautiful god-fearing woman and he's all smiles and he's all Instagram pictures and he's all this and he's all that and then when it comes to you he reaches down into this bag and he realizes that there's nothing and so he pulls out his hand and it's empty and he just looks at you with loving compassion but he shrugs his shoulders and he says I've gotten up in for you I'm sorry and then next year comes along and there you are sitting and the same routine God reaches into his bag and he gives something to your sister in Christ and there it is another good-looking guy who loves God has the whole package and he reaches in and gives it to a sister in Christ and her brother in Christ and there you are another year goes by and he shrugs his shoulders and Lissa's hand he says I couldn't afford something for you I'm sorry my resources are limited here that's how many people feel when in fact that's not the case at all what's happening is in reality that as God is perhaps giving people the gift of marriage in another person he's also reaching in that bag and he's giving you a gift called singleness and though it may happen year after year you better believe that every time you open it there is another purpose behind why he is giving you that gift people believe that their life begins when they get married and between now and then you're just holding on and you're trying to distract yourself as much as you can so you wouldn't be so burdened with the fact that you see other people enjoying life in relationship and here you are suffering in the wilderness of your soul waiting for that person or waiting for God to bring that person maybe that's not you maybe you're a married person here you're a married individual freshly married or seasonally married and you've had the thought and maybe for long stretches of time that as you are married you see it more as a hindrance than a blessing and so nobody in here without rights say that right but what many people will confess and it's right to confess it that marriage is hard work it's not easy it is difficult the romance and the fantasy that comes with marriage is quickly met by responsibilities it is met by challenges it is met by unplanned circumstances and for a married person sometimes what they feel especially in the tough moments is that they're in some kind of a cage and they're looking out and they see their single brothers and sisters in Christ frolicking around in a field as well they have no fear no worries no responsibilities and here you are stuck and so what happens as a person begins to think that this whole thing called marriage is more of a burden than it is a blessing and they rethink so many decisions that they made in the past and they try to just grit their teeth and just either wait for the rapture or all these other things that can bring some kind of freedom to your situation but the reality is just because it's hard work doesn't mean it is a gift from God in fact marriage itself offers a unique satisfaction and listen a unique sanctification to your life that though yes it does require you to sweat a little bit but the rewards are so worth it so I present this message to us all of us this morning because what we want to do is leave this place in this season where we think about gifts and to ultimately recognize that God has gifted every person here if you're single you have received a gift from God if you are Mary you received a gift from God and the point of all this is to recognize that and listen make the most use of it to not think either one is a burden but to realize the rich blessings that come when we tap into the resource and the gift that God has granted to us now this is how you and I can miss apply this message that as you hear about the gifts that are found in this bouquet of singleness you would begin to as a married person want that oh I wish I was single again wrong way of applying this message or if you're a single person here and you're hearing about the gift of marriage that as you sit there you would think oh I can't wait to get that gift here's how we can apply this message appropriately that as you hear about the gift of singleness in your single you would say lord help me maximize this Lord don't let me take this this present that you've given me put it on the shelf and look at others enjoying their gifts I just want that one so badly and vice versa but to realize again that God in His wisdom as you pray fully walked through your life wherever you're at he knows when to give it and he knows why he gave it and he wants you to actually hears it here's an amazing word for a Christian faith enjoy it enjoy it how is singleness a gift how is that season of Life a gift because I'm being preached to from different things in different media's and even friends that this whole thing is a lesser way of life and yet Paul by the Holy Spirit has a completely different insight so single people take note married people take note as well if you want to encourage a single brother and sister in Christ look at verse 35 of chapter 7 Paul says I say this for your own benefit not to lay any restraint upon you but to promote good order and to secure your undivided motion to the Lord what is he saying that in light a saying I'm not forcing you to not marry or to marry I'm not gonna put that on you and he's speaking to single people eight in the context of the present distress but it's also a principle that is true nonetheless even today I'm telling you that in your singleness there is a type of devotion to the Lord that is undivided singleness opens up a way for you to be devoted to the person of Jesus Christ in a very very special experience the degree of devotion that you can reach in singleness is something that you and I should not waste when we find ourselves in that season in fact singleness secures Paul says it secures some kind of a special season with Christ and with many they're not securing they're wasting they're wasting what they can experience during those years and so he says here I'm telling this to you and it's so real and it's so exciting to Paul that it's his main motivation for people to admire this lifestyle and not to feel as though they are lesser in life so let me put it this way if you're single in this place and your energy and your focus in your thoughts and especially in your prayers are only for you to ask God to bring a person into your life that that's all you're praying for now notice I didn't say you can't pray for that some days are harder than others and you can you have all the right in fact I would encourage you to pray if you can ask God for a job for the right job for the right car for the right city to live in please include the person that you want to marry in your prayers don't do it without God but if it's consuming all that you are I have to tell you according to Paul and the Spirit of God you're wasting your wasting you're single because there is something here for the single person that is very rich if they're willing to withdraw from it there is a nearness to God because you have an availability and an access that is special in this time that is not to say that single people are more spiritual than married people but it can as simple as this because married people can know Jesus just as intimately as single people but the reality is simply that your resources your time and your energy your plans are more open for God to do something in you and through you during that time if I can offer any advice if you're in that season if I can offer any advice it would be to include in your prayers something along the lines of these words God Almighty I have this desire I long for companionship I know that in marriage there's a unique oneness and an intimacy that is a gift in itself but Lord as I am in this season I pray and I plead with you use me reveal yourself to me do something in me in a way that I will not have the opportunities freely to do so if and when you allow me to be married single people have you ever prayed that prayer have you ever asked the Lord to do that in your singleness say God because the idea is if you're single you're lonely says who says who are you void of relationships sure there is a unique relationship and marriage but to say you're lonely to say that you have don't significant purpose as a single person is an outright lie in fact Paul's a different perspective says you have an ability to deepen your relationship with Christ in an undivided way to receive from him and to give to him and where you can contain retain it and manage it very very special and this is the point of this that I fear I really do fear again that many single people are not understanding that about the season of their life and this is not to condemn you for the desire for a spouse but it is to encourage you to not let that be your sole focus run to him in a special way ask him to to have you wisely walk with him hand in hand to invest in your relationship with Christ we I hope we don't need to be reminded this morning that we serve a god that's personal that's very hard to find these days people that actually talk about Christ in a personal way not as just mere theology not as mere debate that is mere doctrine I'm talking about a person to be known and experienced and sought-after and heard from and empowered by he's a person to know and maybe you're not there in your walk with Christ but is there anything in you that says lord I want to create a relationship I need you to create a relationship with me that is beyond just this once a week Sunday morning routine let me know you intimately and this is the encouragement for both the single person and the married person because it's the same same reality for both but especially for the single person that Christ calls himself the bridegroom and you and I are his bride and that's an invitation to an intimate relationship with him and I encourage you to they just make that your prayer don't waste this season and I can testify that that prayer in my life pre ministry and still in ministry is something that God has honored God has honored that prayer I can testify before you and before a holy God hey God has surely answered that prayer very quickly I can testify to you about the freedom especially when I first got saved to be able to just spontaneously plan with other friends to hop in a car to drive across states to go to a conference for a few days and not have to ask or worry about anybody that I'm leaving behind I can tell you about the times pre ministry where there is just this openness with my my evenings where I can come home and I wasn't coming home to an empty living room I wasn't coming home to an empty bedroom I was coming home knowing that I can sit in my chair put on a dim light put some worship music in the background and begin to talk to the lover of my soul to worship Him and to see him in his word to get on my face before God as that moon would come and shine through that window and I would talk to him and pour my heart to him and ask for his presence to be real in my life and I can tell you that he's done it he's that are over and over again I can tell you that I didn't have long walks on the beach with another person holding my hand but even in the cold Toronto January weather I would put on that jacket and put on that scarf and cover my face and stick these ears with headphones and worship music and just walk with Christ and talk to him and worship him and adore him and love him that's available to you and Paul says there's an undivided devotion that's available do you not think that Christ will draw near to you in that season of life do you have think that you would be pleased and even honored for you to say Lord I do desire this and I know it's not a sin in itself to are to desire it but God Almighty make yourself real to me I don't know about you but listen in this time I ask God to have testimonies upon testimonies I ask God to create stories ask God to make himself known to you that that would create a base as you even enter into your relationship with your future spouse if that is God's will I could tell you post ministry in singleness in ministry that the even in that this time of just being able to dive into the Word of God to be able to just especially the first four years here dive into the Word of God and create a reservoir of truth to familiarize myself with the Bible from cover to cover to know the person of God through the written scriptures and to just take that time to feast on him I'm afraid that many people are not taking advantage of that season of their lives to know him intimately as a person it to be familiar with his voice to be familiar with his presence and listen so enjoyable can this be for somebody who is not in a relationship that for some they sense that they've tapped into a grace to stay like that for a lifetime I'm sure as I said that's like a bunch of harshness sank right there oh I love the idea of maximizing my singleness but brother I'm not planning to do that for a lifetime let me comfort you with the often given question about singleness what if it's God's will for me to remain single forever this is so deep you ready for this it's marvelously deep it is profoundly deep concerning this question do you want to be married that's yes then it's not God's will for you to be single say how because Jesus addressed this in Matthew nineteen twelve Jesus speaks about marriage and when his disciples hear about it they say well it's probably better not to be married then and then Jesus gives this answer which is very insightful verse twelve for their eunuchs those who have cut off certain parts of their body to be dedicated in a certain way for certain purposes for their eunuchs who have made bencao from birth and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men now listen to this and there are eunuchs who have been made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven let the one who is able to receive this receive it you are saying there are those who have cut off they found a grace to cut off the desire to be intimate with another individual and they've tapped into a grace a gift so to speak that has allowed them to say you know I can live the rest of my life using this freedom that I have as a single person to advance the kingdom of God as much as I can with my life he says there are those who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom and as he says that look what Jesus says he says let the one who is able to receive this receive it so it's as simple as this can you receive that if no then don't receive it gear your prayer swords asking God to find the right person don't worry about if God is mysteriously trying to convey to you that all the reason why I'm not answering it maybe you're not gonna give me a person that's why I haven't found what God is not playing games with us does he have a timing yes can he lead you to the right person absolutely but but if you don't desire it if you can't imagine your life without somebody if you have not tapped into the ability to think that I can stay pure and holy as a single person so I can seek and serve the kingdom more effectively it's as simple as that nothing to worry about it can you receive it okay receive it don't receive it okay ask for a husband asks for a wife not very deep but it's true it's as simple as that it's as simple as that but the singleness idea Paul expounds on it and he says here that because of this undivided devotion there's another element to it it's because a person who is single has a freedom from certain concerns so earlier I looted to the illustration how married people feel like they're maybe in a cage and they see all their friends their brothers and sisters in Christ is skipping around fields and plucking flowers and they're enjoying life and you're like I got bills to pay I got this I got that's an extreme illustration but it's not totally unrealistic in terms of how we understand two different statuses of relationships so look at verse 32 of chapter seven I want you to be free from anxieties the ESV uses the word anxieties but you can safely replace our ware with concerns I want you to be free from anxieties the unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord how to please the Lord but the married man is anxious about worldly things that's not to say sinful it means practical things about worldly things how to please his wife and as interests are divided and the unmarried or the betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord how to be holy in body and spirit but the married woman is anxious about worldly things how to please her husband single people when you hear or when you think about marriage what comes to mind immediately I can safely guess that there's romance there somewhere intimacy companionship date night raising a family photo albums Instagram pictures new Facebook status you can think about that and you can you can rightly desire those things including the Facebook status but keep in mind that when it comes to marriage there are other things involved with it there are other things involved with it you're probably not thinking financial things you're probably not thinking emotional mental spiritual investment that you have to make in another person and they expect to receive something from you in all those area on a daily basis on a daily basis and when you join your life to somebody else's life realize Paul's being realistic he's not trying to again degrade marriage but he's just being very realistic and it's not spiritual to be realistic about the fact that marriage opens up new concerns that weren't there when you were single when you enter into a relationship with somebody there are worries that come out of areas that you never thought would be a worry and it could come from the smallest things for example honey where are we gonna spend Christmas this year your side of the family my side of the family guess what when you're single you're not the thing about that I'm going home I'm gonna put on my pajamas and I'm in sit on the couch like I'm 12 years old I'm not worried about any of that your wallets no longer your wallet you're sharing that thing and we can give example after example after example and when it comes to the point where you have babies all you're gonna realize something completely new having a child is not an equivalent to your pet hamster home there is another human being and you're gonna have more than one if that's God's will where you have to feed take care of stay up all night for plan for surround all your plans surrender a lot of things in your personal life and your ambitions for the sake of the well-being of this gift that God has given you now please do not sit there this morning think you are a selfish man you are selfish you just named all those things and you think that there's sacrifice of that and I'm saying yes there is and I'm not saying those things are bad things or evil things or a lesser way to live Paul is just being realistic your interests are now divided and look what he says here this word here he says in verse 34 his interests are divided and unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord how to be holy in body and spirit so the single person all their concerns if they're really living for Jesus if they really want to know him their main concern is about how they can invest in their relationship with Christ and how Christ can invest in them that's where the main focus is and what's so beautiful what Paul is saying here is that as you as a single person seek to do that let your concern be upon how Christ can touch your body and your spirit and not about when where how who all the time if you take that energy and you give it to your relationship of the Christ you know what will happen as a byproduct not as the main motivation but as the byproduct as you seek to invest in your relationship with Christ he's gonna invest in you and as you spend time with Christ he's gonna do something in you as you serve Christ he's gonna mold you and all the while while you're enjoying him loving him worshiping him he's molding you shaping you changing you shifting you cleaning you anting you filling you and while you're just there lost in him maybe you don't even realized that he's preparing you to be somebody for somebody else that's not the main motivation Lord I'm gonna love you so that I can so that somebody can be more attracted to me that's ridiculous but as you love him he does something to your spirit he does something to your body and then his presence radiates from you and by God's grace will attract the person who's also looking for a greater relationship with Christ this is many things can be set on top of this but I'll stop it there how is marriage to be understood as a gift how is marriage to be understood as a gift I hope up to this point as a married person you weren't sitting there thinking like marriage is a gift from God because marriage is a means to worship God in a very unique way marriage is a means to worship God in a very unique way notice I didn't say in a better way notice I didn't say that if you're married this and that is better than that no it's not about better it's about each one singleness or marriage having its unique element of how to relate to God and marriage when you're married you have the ability now to glorify God in a very unique way when God created marriage he did so with a desire of providing a union that would be unique in comparison to all other types of relationship that you can think of all of them all combinations there is a oneness and there's a nearness and there's a connection that is created in marriage that cannot be compared to a father and a son a mother and a daughter friends to friends brother or sister sister to sister brother or brother in comparable there is something that is created in marriage between two people who come together as one because the reality is in marriage you are exclusively giving yourself to a person in a way that you will never by God's grace give yourself to anybody else and vice versa there's one person out of the seven point seven billion in this world that you expose yourself to physically emotionally mentally and the same with that person that nobody else has access to and God has given that as a gift to know some kind of a companionship remember in the gardens this is not good for a man to be alone that is so pregnant with so much truth what does it mean that it's not good for a man to be alone it means so much but we have to understand that marriage was granted to people for one of many reasons and here's one of them I know it sounds crazy to actually enjoy it this is fascinating right because when we think marriage especially as believers we immediately go to this concept of it being a duty procreate be financially responsible and transparent raise godly children and don't try to kill each other along the whole way and there is a responsibility there is an element of sacrifice oh you better believe that it is all about sacrifice yes but is it hard for us to comprehend that it's actually gift for people to enjoy that's not my idea the Bible has so much language to give about that let me give you one in Proverbs five proverbs 5:18 let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth rejoice yea actually rejoice like praise it celebrate it savor it rejoice in the wife of your youth a lovely dear a graceful doe let her breast fill you at all times with the light being toxicated sometimes in her love sometimes honeymoon stage what does it say always be intoxicated always in her love is that a seasonal thing it's not a temporary thing it's something that grows it's something that is steadfast it is something that is real it is something that especially in the physical expression it's a manifestation of something that's happening in the soul that comes from experience from tears and laughter and prayer and sacrifice and service to God together and that physical expression of intimacy is just a manifestation of what should be happening in the soul really for it to merely be physical outside of those other realities is to cheapen the experience in itself but listen let me reiterate this it is something to be enjoyed relationship marriage apart from God separate from relationship with God or do we understand as believers that even the food that you're going to eat after the service is to be done unto the glory of God that even when God gives marriage to somebody it is to be enjoyed for what it is but it's not to be enjoyed apart from your knowledge of God listen it's to be enjoyed in a way in which you worship God more intensely and love them and understand them in a way that is unique compared to singleness unique not better unique so if marriage is a picture of Christ in the church what comes to mind there on both sides Christ urghhh Christ sacrificed the church submits both are categorized under this dying to self so when we see Christ in the church marriage is a picture of Christ in the church the first thing that goes through our minds is sacrifice and rightfully so but listen if marriage is a picture of the relationship within Jesus and his bride the church then can we safely say that the ecstasy's that our experience in marriage is also a picture of something with our relationship with Christ that makes sense that the joys and the thrills that I get from my wife the experiences and the pleasures that I might get from a husband that those things even if it's a human to human relationship are preaching to our hearts saying if this is how it is between you and I surely God is inviting us to some kind of a fulfillment and a satisfaction with him in Christ in fact that's what I believe what it will be like when Christ returns the consummation between the bride and the bridegroom revelation says that the bride makes herself ready and then the bridegroom comes and takes her this is what we're speaking about in terms of relationship I believe at that time when Christ and the church will be nearer than they've ever been what we know on the human level is a picture of the ecstasy's that we will know in that moment does that make sense the thrills and the joys and the fireworks that are gonna go off in our soul when we are reunited with the bridegroom we are being preached to about that married people when you have that kind of an intimacy with your spouse you're being reminded that the enjoyment that you have with this person is just a picture of what you can tap into in your relationship with Jesus so we display that yes to one another but we also display that to a world we display that to a world and we wonder well why is it that so many marriages are crumbling and why does it seem like marriages again more of a headache than it is a thing to rejoice in listen for many reasons and time does not permit but if you're in that situation as a married person I would encourage you do what we are seeing a picture of in John chapter 2 where Jesus was at a wedding Jesus about a wedding and there was no wine left and he miraculously provided wine wine is a picture of joy wine is a picture of pleasure and enjoyment bliss and there's a picture there that in marriage wine can run out but we have to listen to what Mary said in that chapter she said do everything that he will tell you to do when she came up with the observation that they ran out of wine do everything that he tells you to do and he will provide a miracle and when the servants obeyed everything that Jesus said wine came back to the wedding listen you will never know wine in your marriage again you will never know renewed bliss in your marriage again unless you as you don't worry about your wife or your husband and what they do but you as a spouse do everything that Jesus commands you to do and that's gonna be humility that's gonna be asking for forgiveness that's gonna be sucking up your pride it's gonna be you doing what Christ calls you to do but if you honor that he will renew wine marriage is a means to worship and glorify God in a very special and unique way secondly marriage is a means of providing deep sanctification go back to 1st Corinthians 7 there was a concern amongst the Corinthians that because they had come to faith and their spouses some spouses had not come to faith that they might be putting their spirituality at risk by remaining in such a relationship so imagine here you are married a husband you came to Jesus your wife didn't hear you are married a woman you come to Jesus and your husband didn't and this concern was brought up to Paul and surely in their minds they might have been thinking anything along the lines of then I gotta cut this relationship off I got to pursue divorce because how can I be in Union how can i how can I be equally yoked with somebody did not come Christ and you'd be surprised because the way Paul answers with the temptation of divorce is actually if the unbelieving spouse wants sustain the relationship with the knowledge of your faith in Christ you stay in that relationship you don't pursue divorce you stay right there you don't leave him you don't leave her you love them and you stand and you go what's the reason and it's a very interesting verse look at verse 14 of chapter 7 for the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband otherwise your children would be unclean but as it is they are holy huh that's his reason for you not the divorce if you were you were saved and your spouse is in now this is what the scripture is not saying that if you're saved and you're married to an unsaved they are automatically saved because you're saved that's not what this verse is saying at all nor is is saying if if you're saved that they're gonna be morally clean as a status before God because of your relationship with God that is not what this verse is saying at all what it is saying is that the chances of your unbelieving spouse coming to Christ are greater because they are in a close proximity with a follower of Christ on a day-to-day basis that you as a believer because you are so near to an unbeliever what you do is you offer a closeness to Christ because somebody who is close to you sees you hears you and is with you on a daily basis you as a person in that marriage relationship can I have a greater influence on them that's what it means by making them holy you're sanctifying the relationship you're a witness in that place for your spouse and for your children so Paul honest was and says don't jump ship stay right there now be careful with this kind of a verse this verse is not giving permission for people to pursue an unbelieving person in marriage there is no such thing as missional dating I'm gonna pursue a non-believer and because Paul says that I make them holy I'm gonna get them saved and maybe they won't get saved when we first get married but a few months and sure enough it's gonna come they're gonna get saved wrong Paul speaking about existing marriages not about how to seek one speak about those who are already in that place of marriage and one has converted not about how you as a believer single should seek a non-believer and try to get them saved wrong recipe for disaster not to do not to do not to use this verse as a way to do it but listen to this is my main point here if it is true that the presence of a follower of Christ can affect the life of a non-believer that I am with on a day-to-day basis how much more went - who are following Christ are living together on a day-to-day basis somebody wisely said that if you want to be more like Jesus get married that's not to say that Jesus was married because he wasn't but it is to say that there is something of a sharpening that comes there's something of a humility and an exposure of who you really are when you are face to face on a daily basis with a spouse it's just true there's a sanctifying work that's being done as you are walking with somebody in this life - Christians get married and what they have in mind is that you're gonna partner together to help each other love serve and reflect Christ that is what marriage offers us and as you come closer to that person and like you're not going to be closer to anybody else but that Peart not just physically they're gonna see everything listen it's really hard your true self when you get married to somebody you could have fooled them all along but once you get married and you move into the same place it's really difficult to hide your true self but that's nothing to be fearful of you God is able and God wants to use that kind of a relationship to do some kind of a work in you in a deeper and very significant way and this is what marriage has to offer as a gift that a spouse if done right will allow himself as a way to speak into your life to pray over your life to correct things in your life to change something about your life to teach you something about yourself and listen maybe you don't even need directly to have that from a spouse you might have noticed if you're married how marriage will bring you to your knees in new ways how because you've realized something about yourself that you didn't even know was there let's be honest you've realized something about your lack of patience like you never knew before you realized something about your unkindness of how how you can use this tongue to do so much damage in marriage you've realized selfishness like you've never realized it before and you're thinking this is in me this wasn't here before I said I do but the point is is that it should draw us to him and Christ uses this as a means to bring us before him even and to say Lord do a work in me see when you get married it doesn't mean that you divorce Jesus look here first Corinthians chapter 7 verse 3 the husband should give to his wife for conjugal rights and likewise the wife of her husband for the wife does not have authority over her own body but the husband does likewise the husband doesn't have authority over his own body but the wife does do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you may devote yourselves to prayer but then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control so many in that so many things in that verse but one simply simple thing they they're encouraged to still spend time with Jesus on an individual basis and I could tell you that marriage will bring you before him in very new ways in greater desperation as things are being discovered about yourself it's nothing to be scared about everything to be praised as we desire to be more like him I want to read a quote from Timothy Keller who wrote a book called the meaning of marriage many people here are reading that book but let me read this and hopefully this will bring some light into him what I'm trying to say within this Christian vision of marriage here's what it means to fall in love it is to look at another person and get a glimpse of what God is creating so you're looking at another person you're like I hope listen if you're believing this place I hope that's a means of Attraction as pretty as she is she's gonna get wrinkly one day guys guys girls as as built as he might is unless he's gonna keep it up gravity will have its effect on him it's gonna happen things are gonna happen so as you see something as you see something and somebody else God doing a work in somebody else that should attract you and then what happens you get a glimpse of what God is creating and say I see who God is making you and it excites me it excites me I want to be a part of that I want to partner with you in God in the journey you are taking to his throne and when we get there I will look at you and your magnificence and say I always knew you can be like this I got glimpses of it on earth but now look at you marriage is a means in which God allows another person to serve as a means of sanctification in your life and if that has not been the goal of your marriage to this point maybe so from this moment on that your eyes would not be so on each other as much as it's a gift from God to enjoy one another but if you want to enjoy it even more take your eyes off of each other completely and look at him together and as you look at him together and pursue him together watch how God will bring more joy and thrill and excitement into your marriage that you never knew before and watch how God will used your husband and your wife to speak into your life to point out things in your life to pray over your life to serve Christ with you and then do something in you as a result of that we could spend the next hour talking about how singleness and how marriage are both wonderful gifts from God and maybe you haven't seen it like that walking in here this morning but would you ask God to help to see it leaving this place single people would you in this moment ask God Lord thank you for the freedom to come and say god I really desire family I really desire a person but god I pray that you would help me see this window of time as a securing of my undivided devotion to the Lord marry people would you look at the situation that you're in right now I don't know what state your marriage is and right now only God knows but would you ask God to do a reviving work to use your marriage as a way to worship Him worship Him in the enjoyment of it and worship Him in trying to be more like Jesus in it would you ask God if you're in that place with your marriage to bring new wine to bring fresh joy and thrill an excitement in a holy way into your union with Christ and with your bride or your bridegroom just in this moment talk to the Lord talk to the Lord open your heart before the Lord be honest with the Lord Lord I give you my heart and I ask God that you helped me see the season that I'm in as a gift help me see this covenant that you've allowed me to be a part of as a gift Lord help me not waste this gift helping that Envy somebody else's gift and waste my own oh god help me lo we lift up every single person in this house and we asked for a supernatural grace from heaven to be able to live in this journey with such excitement and joy even when times come where loneliness may come in and in terms of a human to human relationship Lord may they be able to feel the freedom to come to you and speak that to you the Lord at the same time may not all prayers be consumed with that may there be a plan to say God whatever it takes use my days use my evenings use my weekends use that the the summer that I have coming up use my breaks to say God let me know you more intimately let me create testimonies God through my life that I can look back even with my spouse one day and reflect on what God has done in me what God has done before me God we lift up every single married couple here that though there is a division with resources and time and energy it is divinely given by God it is not a curse it is not a hindrance the Lord may may every couple seek to pursue you together to manage their own time and their own efforts to both as partners live for the glory of God may that be true Lord bless the the couples in this place that are pursuing marriage that are praying about whether this person is the right one or not God give clarity give peace give assurance maybe see past charm may we see past beauty may the things that matter highlight to the hearts of your people and may those things draw and attract God Lord for those who cannot receive the concept of being single for the rest of their lives they can't tap into that even in their imagination God would you grant them in due time the person you have in mind for them would you give them Lord the discernment would you give them the ability to recognize when and who and how and where but God in this moment right now both single married and it's complicated we choose to recognize you as the giver of these gifts we want to worship you love you and adore you as the ultimate bridegroom Lord as a lover of our souls God we come to love you Jesus we come as we sang to adore you God in this place yes well we say these things in your name Amen if you want to stand you can stand if you want to stay seated and just meditate upon that you do so but just one thing I ask of you love him in song adore him seek Him

Channel: UE Church - Chicago

Views: 1,578

Rating: 4.9322033 out of 5

Keywords: daniel batarseh, uec, ue church, united evangelical church, chicago, des plaines, illinois, bible study, sermon, Gifts, Marriage, Singleness, Principles, Corinthians, Unmarried, Widowed, Called, man, woman, men, women, divorce, anxious, marry, wife, husband, betrothed, marries, bondservant, consent, sexual, relations, temptation, immorality, deprive, tempt, self-control

Id: w0KgrjL_KjM

Length: 56min 17sec (3377 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 18 2020