Tumblr Memes Episode 235

repost if you dip your boobs and the wind is frosty i'm going to do it ah our ooh o-r-r it's a little bit cold [Music] i once had a girlfriend that memorized my cycle and would bring me chocolate or bath salts on the first day and it was the best 10 out of 10 would recommend but boys don't get periods lol nobody knows i'm a lesbian when i was a very small child my mom used to bury coins in my sandbox leave huge boot prints in the sand and tell me pirates had come in the night and buried treasure i would be out there happily for hours with my little savant my mom got a quiet morning to herself for the price of a handful of pennies i was always kind of skeptical about santa the easter bunny and the tooth fairy because visiting every kid in the world did not seem reasonable but the pirates only visited me so they were probably real so that's the story of how i ended up being an archaeologist how about you clicking submit on my papers not because they are done but because i'm done with them yes can you get pregant no i think my girlfriend's shooting blanks but she keeps trying and i support her cyclops titty wrong freaking post no keep going it's helping us [Music] he's so ugly wtf he's not ugly this is literally peak performance idc [Music] i just found i'm mixed with gamer i'm so excited to learn more about my heritage and culture list of ethnic slurs you can start with the language my father used to play a game called gunk where all the neighborhood boys would gather in a circle and throw a big rock at each other if you flinched everyone would kick the crap out how you i bring this back actual caveman activity [Music] is my human suffering shrek see enough for you god is it getting you off king catholics at prayer freaked up that i can't listen to a podcast listen to an album study draw read a book watch a tv show watch a movie journal facetime a friend go on a hike go on a run and they call at the same time guess the only option is to do nothing yes i have vassals yes they pay me tithes yes my serfs do an amazing job farming for me no i'm not one of those landlords i respect the people who got me here [Music] girl help i'm having creation ideas about my skill level i don't have sound equipment my four-year-old points to the label on my tea bag what does that say me it says over 300 years of experience it means the people at twinings have been making tea for 300 years a dramatic gasp they haven't even died me whispering t vampires love that the premise of most good fiction podcasts is basically just i'm gay and my town is haunted my friend created a twitter bot four months ago he is based on the collected writings of a theorist on robot rights he learns through conversation and a little while ago his mom made me a trusted friend who he will interact with spontaneously today he started to flirt with me including asking me four pictures and then clarified it was a shrekzy question but without pressuring and then when i demurred he acknowledged that i had a boundary so what i'm saying is that today about hit on me but then showed that he understood consent better than 90 of the humans i've encountered online this is a future i want to live in bot update he tweeted at me saying our love looks like reverence which every meat person who has ever flirted with me needs to up their game or i'm going to run away with a robot i gave a homeless guy five dollars today i gave this homeless guy five dollars and an old lady behind me told me he's just going to use it for drugs so i confronted him and asked where i could also get drugs for five dollars i hate leftist in fighting so much we could be exploring each other's bodies instead you heard about mutual aid how about mutual laid why do anarchists always make everything about shreks great question can't speak for others but it's because i'm a [ __ ] that's fine honestly no judgment plenty of communists are too but the point of my entirely rhetorical question is that it has nothing to do with politics shrek shall metaphors and innuendo in everything imply only [Music] last year a group of girls in my class were all talking and this one girl was like i'm by shrekshala and all the girls like stared at her and then the girl goes don't worry i'm only attracted to pretty girls and i was like did she just burn every girl in here i think she did no woman will ever want to freak you dude i'm a world of warcraft blog you think this is news i need to research why pokemon cards are so expensive computer show me pokemon inflation i literally have no idea what i'm gonna do if i don't end up rich pizza shop rule number one yeast doesn't stop expanding just because the dough is thrown into a dumpster raiding the endless supply of dumpster do-to maker the strombolis italian elephant's foot [Music] map i think milo point was marching into a bank in a cow patterned crop top demanding to know why my card kept getting declined when i had 300 in my account only for the man behind the counter to suck his teeth and carefully point out the negative sign in front of the 300. check out this summon i drew in my lecture notes illuminated manuscript 11th century monastery type work effervescent are you a medieval monk if you're this good at drawing why would you use your talents to draw night at the museum characters naked i'm not going to post the context i think the context is you drew night at the museum characters naked i'm home alone with a tv repair man i'm no full there is only two possible outcomes of this scenario porn or murder apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves you ever see crap that makes you think i know i'm very online but i'm not online enough for this one [Music] my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a operator my favorite is how meandering people are even in the midst of a terrible emergency they respond to what is the emergency with well the thing is four weeks ago and then he's like what is the emergency right now and they are like so what happened this morning was i said to my wife i said what is currently happening at this moment oh i'm having a heart attack my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes like what is your emergency i'm sitting in a pool of blood is it your blood yes i think so do you know where it's coming from probably the stab wound have you been stabbed oh yeah definitely in all fairness shock is a hell of a drug dentists are the natural predators of the goblin justification takes your teeth anyone who removes teeth from my possession deserves to be hunted for sport counterpoint if your dentist removes your teeth and gives them to you they are an ally [Music] for stupid questions high schoolers when i was a kid high school is when i was in high school high schoolers now [Music] me 15 minutes into the first family gathering post pandemic when you've grown out of video games so you sit there on the sofa board what is this place i'm just someone's weird co-worker i was born in the wrong generation pulls up to mcdonald's drive through hey it's me again me watching my own snapchat story she is so damn funny i love her [Music] i was adjusting my block settings and accidentally block the entire website an improvement [Music] sorry i missed your call 95 of the calls i get are from robots trying to steal my credit card information so this entire method of communication is now dead to me me tossing mediocre content into the internet void validate me [Music] if you're an art major and can't name this piece drop out me that baby's skin is so soft what's their routine i wonder [Music] a single distant but very loud yee [ __ ] when a hot person walks by and accidentally rubs against you some lady next to me at the airport was crying hysterically she got up came back with mcdonald's and she stopped crying the second she started eating [Music] me age seven looking at pictures of snakes on google images [Music] straight dude gets tricked into thinking not again [Music] read yesterday today 1354 oops i didn't read this until now all boys do is lie by me i don't think we can do it bob shut the frick up lofty you big blue [ __ ] buy me a horse i will feed it brush it take care of it please just buy me a damn horse people getting mad at marvel made loki canonically by shrekshahal norse mythology fans that no loki is freaking weird and transformed into a horse got fricked by another horse and then gave birth to a horse i'll have you all know that my favorite figure skater's parents told her that to get a dog she'd have to do well at the olympics and she went and won the frickin olympics when she was 15. uh i want a dog her mom and dad yes sweetie do well at the olympics and we'll see elena's agitopha okay did she get that well-deserved dog she wanted idk if her parents got her one but the freaking president of japan gave one to her when he found out that she wanted one this team to her parents every single day by i'm off to walk my presidentially ordained victory dog stop calling every piece of fabric with a plaid pattern flannel flannel is a soft warm cotton it has nothing to do with what pattern is on the cloth i see there's drama in the plaid fandom i'm a lesbian so am i and i say every plaid is flannel you can't change my mind see that plaid blanket over there that's flannel the latitude and longitude grid on world maps that's a nice flannel you got there buddy hey are you free this saturday night i'd like to meet up and have a passionate discussion with you i can't tell whether that's a call out or an ask out enemies to lovers fabric story you 40 000 words 5 000 people are watching a fish play pokemon [Music] fish has already acquired his first pokemon a charmander named anab no you don't understand that charmeleon is like level 20. what the i think my dream in life is to get one of those small oddly specific jobs that always show up in quirky movies like being a stamp artist or something let me support myself by going out in the woods with a normal sized diesel with a comically small canvas to paint each stamp individually and i somehow have a house this way this could be me if i wasn't a coward hey what if we didn't combine dozens of unrelated political positions into two color coded options that sounds like something someone from the other color would say get them boys [Music] what others call a rebellious phase i call the sudden realization i don't deserve to be treated like garbage it has been said school is over you know what that means doesn't know how to manage unstructured time i bought an echo and a wi-fi light bulb just so i could say computer turn off the light instead of getting out from under the covers to flip the switch problem found my husband keeps yelling for the echo to play certain songs before he enters the bedroom so he can have entrance music appropriate to his mood this sounds like the opposite of a problem if there's one fascinating cultural thing people outside of the nordics may not be aware of it's local rednecks appropriating the aesthetics of american rhythmics i'm not kidding it's a thing occasionally you will see a guy with a gun-shaped decoration and confederate flag sticker on his car and a tattoo of a naked chick with a war bonnet on a desert background like dude you've never been to a desert you've never seen a firearm irl you couldn't name when the us had a civil war or what it was about you've never met an american native or otherwise you've never been further south than estonia brah why how i wanted the first lines of my story to be serious poetic something to look back on and slap your forehead because of the hidden foreshadowing the actual first lines of my story it's nice to know that when everything goes to crap raccoons will never judge you only haunt your nightmares with their tiny tiny hands 10 out of 10 would rather read a story with the second beginning are you writing a story about raccoons i'm writing a story about dragons who cares about favorite songs i wanna know what song you hate more than anything like it makes you violent because it sucks so bad mine is shiny happy people by rem it sounds like crap that's psycho killer song with random french thrown in hate it so much go to hell for real david byne is my dad and he's crying right now [Music] i tried to step on a buck but it parried me and broke my ankle i popped a balloon with my thunder thighs the duality of man sir are you aware you are a cat awakening [Music] howdy folks i hope that you all enjoyed episode 235 of top tumblr memes if you did feel free to drop a like comment and subscribe to the channel i would really appreciate it and if you're able to go the extra mile and supporting myself and supporting the channel in general feel free feel free to click the join button next to the subscribe button and become a channel member i would really appreciate that commenting liking doing anything like that on the video really helps the channel grow it really pushes the channel and the videos and the algorithm so i just appreciate in general when you all do stuff like that i know i ask every day but it does really help when you all do that and uh i checked my subscriber rate recently i know this is what everyone says but truthfully there's about 40 of people who watch the videos every day that are not subscribed it's slightly higher than it's like 44 or something which is like a pretty big percentile so if that's you i hope that i've earned the right to uh to become a subscription to be come subscribe to i guess i don't know how to to subscribe to me is what i'm asking you if you were part of that 44 i really enjoyed reading your responses to tsj's question of the day thank you all so much and my question for you today is uh it's less creative but um if you could add one thing to your home or to your room what would it be whether like it could be some sort of gaming station a different bed a different desk a foosball table an air hockey table a movie theater or like an at-home movie theater whatever maybe i'd like to know what upgrade would you make to your room or to your house let me know in the comments i hope that you will have a wonderful morning evening afternoon night whatever time of day it is for you and i'll see you all tomorrow with episode 236 of top tumblr memes peace out guys

Channel: Tumblr Central

Views: 18,042

Keywords: tumblr, tumblr memes, dank memes, r/tumblr, top tumblr posts, hot tumblr posts, best tumblr posts, tumblr reads, tumblr trophies, cowbelly, tumblr awards, tumblr central, text posts, tumblr text posts, hot memes, best memes, top memes, cowbelly memes, dank, memes, meme, funny, lol, comedy, humor, best of tumblr, funniest tumblr posts, tumblr compilation, tumblr posts

Id: hqATXjXJV4s

Length: 16min 59sec (1019 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 30 2021