Tumblr Memes Episode 195

i will do a lot of things but admitting i'm cold to my mum who told me to bring a jacket isn't one of them did it hurt did what hurt when you broke through the earth's crust descending from hell i'm yours when one door closes another one opens imagine how annoying it would be if that were true you close the bathroom door to pee and your front door suddenly blows open your cat escapes you run out and jump into the car to chase the cat and hear everything falling out of your overstuffed pantry as its door unlatches fictional characters can kill as many people as they want but it's illegal for them to be annoying hope this helps you see fictional lives are made up but my feelings of annoyance are real hope this helps [Music] not to be boring but i like when evil characters well not become redeemed more like they become domesticated it's just delightful when like an evil monstrous little bastard man goes from committing murder to getting mad someone misplaced their costco card or left the jar of mayo on the counter all day everyone tagging this post with rowena let's kiss with tongue [Music] imagine a sleepover with all of your favorite characters like all of them each and every one and yes sleeping in a room full of dead people how fun i lived at the beach and i had tango classes at my tango class i got paired up with markley and we executed this rexy courier and ngo it was quite amazing then we left and i said to him i have to go now i have work and he was like okay bye i went to work and my job was to pretend that i was a mannequin i forget to read handles and i shouldn't okay let's settle this like men kisses you [Music] we sat up until 12 o'clock not to ring the new year in but to his the old one out altoona tribune pennsylvania january 7th 1939 ah yes the trojan horse or as i like to call it murderous pinata chickpeas now get ready for [ __ ] corn i can update my tinder bio with fully vaccinated now like i'm a rescue dog on an adoption website get hit by a car but [Music] boys like it when you're playfully mean to them call them names punch them on the shoulder murder their families sometimes when i close my eyes i can't see [Music] god i'm so tired of people throwing roses at my feet as i walk by don't talk to me or my 53 unfinished video games ever again psy why am i better than everyone our school went on a trip to the zoo today and had to stop the bus because someone sneaked a freaking penguin onto the bus omg my chemistry teacher was crying when she told us omg i actually died you guys don't understand our school is actually banned from an actual zoo because someone decided to try and steal an actual real living penguin and take it home just an ugly boy with a big heart [Music] is beautiful and doesn't deserve this how do you expect to take over the tri-state area if you keep putting self-destruct buttons on urinators think to think [Music] after a lot of rain here in florida these baby frogs appeared they eerily all faced the same direction the ritual has begun adam and eve thinking they are the first humans [Music] walks around with an entire big mac in my mouth but never actually biting down it's a metaphor c you put the killing thing right between your teeth but you don't give it the power to do its killing you took this from a fault in our stars augustus does the same thing only with a cigarette okay okay i don't know what you're talking about this is an excerpt from my upcoming 100 original novel the fart in our stalls wtf is an acronym me at myself at 6 pm okay i'm going to bed early today me at 2 a.m haha pranked what do you call a polar bear in the jungle lost me irl no one can ever know this secret me to 8 000 strangers online you guys will never believe this what do you call two similar boobs identities [Music] hey worst is reminder to drink nothing but seawater and give whatever pills you have to a raccoon compliment me barbecue sauce thanks just walked in on my son to see him being bullied online hello dog hello you stinky dog go eat a bone ugly honeymoon is an interesting term because an actual moon made of honey would imply space bees which is pretty horrifying [Music] can i politely murder you me feels random pain in body me kill me hot person in the grocery store i'm sorry that i must bid you farewell but i fulfilled my journey's purpose in buying three bags of sweet kale salad i got what i came for and soon so shall you now go on get don't make this more difficult why can't i quit you i'm sorry it's not our time yet but it will be someday we were built from the same star you know h what if moomintrollum can pancake flatten everything i have ever needed in life when did we replace the word said with was like when it occurred to us that said implies a direct quote while was like clarifies that you mean to communicate the person's tone and general point without quoting them word for word thank you how come french doesn't have a word for lime green lemon nice job idiots they don't have a word for eighty did you expect them to do better with fruit excuse me i'd like to buy four twenties of green lemons we don't have voluntary control over our internal organs because our brains don't trust us enough to keep ourselves alive get stumped once shut them down girls it's over cat people dogs are cool too dog people cats don't feel love did you know a cat once murdered my mother dog person we have a purebred border collie with a bernese twist cat person this is rita we love her she's orange the difference between cat people and dog people as explained by tumblr [Music] lawyer if you can stay a night in this house it is yours but beware there's a terrible coo millennial holy crap home ownership i'm in ghost appearing prepare to die millennial omg even better millennial i'm going to own this house or die trying millennial finally a win-win situation [Music] i hate how the stereotype is that dolphins are good and sharks are evil when dolphins are so smart that they have the capacity for evil but sharks are simple fish who can only be true neutral so even if a minority of dolphins are evil there are still more evil dolphins than sharks quality marine philosophy discourse real talk do you think if i time traveled back to like the 1800s wearing natural makeup they would just think i was simply the most beautiful person ever i think about this too much but like if i didn't know what modern makeup looked like on someone would i even recognize it in an era when most makeup was literally skin lightening arsenic paint or prostitute rouge would anybody even notice a subtle contour a lash gel lip gloss or wood they just think i was hot [Music] the fact is we need a uniquely american solution to approaching this pandemic like a nationwide competition where if your state has the least percent infected per capita everyone gets free taco bell etc strangers would not hesitate to shame your non-mask wearing ass if a freaking free badger chalupa was on the line i kinda think that could work it's so stupid it might just work and i hate it oh yes the pizza party model brings plastic knife to a gang fight brittle cheap plastic knives are actually pretty great weapons if you file the end down to a point you can stab someone and then talk your wrist to shatter the plastic blade inside the wound it's pretty effective if you do it near a joint or in the gut as those places move a lot and cause the broken shards to shift around oh my god reference writer murderer you'll never know i want short hair i want long hair i want pink hair i want a buzz cut i want a 2007 emo fringe i want purple hair i want the longest hair possible i want relatable i diagnose you with queer such a relief to be diagnosed i thought i was making it up for attention me as a farmer runs myself over with a tractor you don't understand my uncle is a farmer and one day he was going out to check his crops he notices a tractor just going around in circles thinks that's weird i go check it out his neighbor fell off his tractor and got ran over but he was on a slope so the tractor went around and around in circles running him over each time and he was pressed into the ground like a cartoon how long had he been there maybe an hour he was alive and fine just pressed into the dirt like walikoit and was so stuck in there that he couldn't move so he just kept getting run over until my uncle found him seduce me with your history knowledge vikings made their women handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft during a military campaign vlad the impaler the basis for dracula once pulled his troops out of major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemy's eyes once they were over the hill they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun towards the enemy and attacked them leading to significant infection in their ranks and vlad's eventual victory because of how the bats appeared from where vlad soldiers appeared to be a dusk myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night which is where the dracula can change into a bat thing came from raphael the renaissance painter literally freaked himself to death [Music] lmao confirmed be a wealth written by aliens [Music] i find it unreasonably funny that seagulls mate for life like freaking imagine being a seagull and then going out looking for a seagull girlfriend shooting your best shot like hi i like going through garbage snatching crap from people's hands eating trash and shrieking oh my god me too wanna go to the beach to steal ice cream and crap on children and then that's it you're married that's the love of your life and you have a whole nest of babies every year for the rest of your lives and you just live the rest of your life happily ever after eating trash and shrieking with your beloved life partner me in the park squaring off with a huge seagull a half-eaten pizza between us neither will yield and this will not end well for either of us a respectable distance away my boyfriend is watching disaster unfold and on the opposite side the seagull's boyfriend is doing the same they both know we cannot be stopped the only bad choice either of them ever did was picking a stupid partner barbie dreamhearse neat change your freaking name gonna get buried in a fuchsia plastic coffin you look like her scrolls through a cards against humanity deck and picks a card geese public execution prom night so the french revolution i don't know anything about france and their evolutions i just say words together [Music] my lip glosses pog as my lip gloss is cool all the boys be simple and i peg them after school bob baffert blamed cancel culture after his horse medina spirit who won the kentucky derby failed its post race drug test we live in a different world now this america's different what the frick is he talking about lmao cancel culture made my horse fail a drug [Music] test howdy folks i hope that you all enjoyed episode 195 of top tumblr memes if you did feel free to drop a like comment and subscribe to the channel and if you're able to go the extra mile please feel free to click the join button next to the subscribe button and become a channel member i greatly appreciate that too i have been busy but i'm sorry for missing an upload i missed upload i think two days ago but i will try to be more uh consistent with uploading i missed an outro yesterday which i was upset with but interesting i i read a couple of comments that were happy that the outro was gone but then one constructive comment was that the outro is jarring and i've seen that a couple of times so for those of you who don't like the outros i guess you aren't listening to this but for those of you that do like the outros i'm going to try to be lowering the volume of the outros and things like that so that the transition from soothing text to speech voice to my own voice isn't so jarring so let me know in the comments um how i'm doing with that uh and any other constructive feedback for the channel i'm also thinking about uh the background is a little bright with the stars i'm thinking about reducing the saturation of the star so it's a little bit dimmer let me know what you all think again um i want you all to enjoy the videos as much as you can and having that jarring transition is obviously something that bothers people so if i can make it not so jarring and not so abrupt in whatever way i can i will do that now keep an eye out of course i've told you that there's going to be a today learn from tumblr and a meme stolen from tumblr 3 so keep an eye out for both of those again i don't have a set time for you because i've been busy but i promise you they won't be coming andrew oh man i had to go oh my question of the day for you all is what show is what what show have you all seen that if someone else hasn't seen you'd say you have to watch this like what shows out there that if someone hasn't seen they have to watch it immediately let me know in the comments because i'm looking for new stuff i hope that you'll have a wonderful morning evening afternoon night whatever time of day it is for you and i will see you all tomorrow with episode 196 peace out guys you

Channel: Tumblr Central

Views: 12,525

Rating: 4.9504504 out of 5

Keywords: tumblr, tumblr memes, dank memes, r/tumblr, top tumblr posts, hot tumblr posts, best tumblr posts, tumblr reads, tumblr trophies, cowbelly, tumblr awards, tumblr central, text posts, tumblr text posts, hot memes, best memes, top memes, cowbelly memes, dank, memes, meme, funny, lol, comedy, humor, best of tumblr, funniest tumblr posts, tumblr compilation, tumblr posts

Id: 288sjPq_mBQ

Length: 15min 42sec (942 seconds)

Published: Sat May 15 2021