Trump VS. Jong-Un VS. Zuma / Donald & Melania Are Fighting -TREVOR NOAH -There's A Gupta On My Stoep

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I never thought I l'd say this, but Kim Jong-un up against Donald Trump is a strange situation cause you don’t know who the crazy person is. Kim Jong-un actually released a statement The leader of North-Korea released a statement saying Donald Trump is a psychopath, I can not work with him. Do you know how insane that is? For him to send a message about Donald Trump. Where he's just like, "Guys I am wild, but I mean, I can't, I don’t know." "This guy" And Donald is crazy. people ask me all the time, they go like, "Trevor come on, you are not being serious." I meet South Africans, they go like, "Trevor come on man, Donald Trump cant be that crazy man, hey?" "Come on you have got to give him a bit of credit, something." Guys, that guy's crazy. And then they would be like,"Is he like, is he that stupid in real life?" Then you're like, yeah. Then they are like, "Is he like, is he stupid like Malema and them?" Then I'm like, no guys, guys. Julius is smart, don’t play those games. I know people get tricked by Julius Malema and Jacob, those guys are smart. Especially Jacob Zuma, people get fooled by him. You know? because he has got that cute vibe. always giggling. * Zuma laughing* That guy is a master tactician Look now, a vote of no confidence. Survived, again. People are shocked, "How did he do it?" "How did he do it?" If you watch "Days of our lives", he is the Stevano Damero of this game. Everyday he wakes up, looking in the mirror going, "Like sands through the hourglass" "so are the days of our lives" *Zuma laughing* And a lot of people make that mistake, I've realized a lot of people make that mistake. They think our politicians are stupid maybe it's cause of how they speak, maybe it is because of how they sound. Jacob Zuma is smart. Jacob Zuma was the head of intelligence for the ANC during the struggle. Jacob Zuma started the chess team on Robben Island a lot of people don’t know that. He started the chess team, yeah. That is why he is so good with moving the cabinet around. "Yeah, Pravin like that" "because he's a horse" "check" Donald Trump is not like that. One thing I'll say about Jacob Zuma, catch him in a corner, ask him anything about policy. That guy will rattle it off. He may not know how to read, but he knows what he is talking about. Donald Trump has no clue about any policy what-so-ever. He knows nothing about Geo-politics, he knows nothing about his healthcare. Every time Donald Trump answers a question you know he doesn’t know the answer, because he answers it like he is a contestant in one of his own beauty pageants that is how he answers it. Every time you see Donald Trump on TV you can see he is just making it up as he goes along. They'd be like, " Mr. President, can you tell us about your healthcare roll-out "and how pre-existing conditions are going to be covered?" "I know" "We're gonna have so much coverage folks" "the best coverage, all the coverage." "I'm gonna get it, all of it" "It's gonna be so good, great" "some people even say, the best." "but how is it gonna to work" "It's gonna work, it is just gonna work folks" "It's gonna work" "It's gonna be done" "I'm gonna do it" "It's gonna be done." "and the people in South Africa and Iraq" "and the countries, and health" "and insurance" "and we're gonna do all the things, healthy" "with the money, and also" "Thank you." Donald Trump is losing his mind. Saying the craziest things. "We're gonna build a wall" "and Mexico's gonna pay for it." and I love how Mexico's like, "We ain’t paying for shit, man" "We might build your wall but we ain’t paying for it, man." "Stupid." Donald Trump is just doing his own thing. Everything seems to be going wrong for him. Now he's getting ready to start a war, launch a nuclear weapon "North Korea" "they will know" "fire and fury." "Fury and fire" "Fast and furious" "Tokyo drift" "like no ones ever seen. This guy's gonna blow up the world people. He's not having a good time. So I correct people all the time, I go look man say what you want about Jacob Zuma, he knows his policy. Yeah. Doesn’t mean he is getting things right. Doesn’t mean he is doing the correct things, but he knows his policy. You cant say they're the same. You know? And say what you want about Jacob Zuma, but he knows how to handle his ladies. Yeah. He doesn’t, he doesn’t have any problems there? Donald Trump walking around in public, his wife smacking his hand away. * Smack* In public. Do you know how embarrassing that was? Donald Trump was there, trying to hold Melania's hand. She just slapped it away, he tried to grab it and she just *smack* and then the second time he tried to grab it and she just, and she just did a little thing. and everyone was like, "are they okay?" "are they fighting?" I was like yeah, of course they're fighting they're having a horrible time. completely horrible time, and you don’t even need to see the video of the hands to know that they're having a bad time I've had a theory for a long time that Donald Trump and his wife are not in a happy relationship. And I don’t want to start any rumors, but I've noticed this. You know? I've noticed it in the speeches. Every time Donald Trump and Melania speak, it seems like they're throwing shade at each other. They're giving a speech but they're actually talking trash about the spouse. Every time, all you have to do is listen to the subtext of what they're saying. For instance Melania Trump came out She made a speech about her platform as first-lady In America every first-lady gets to choose what her dream jobs gonna be what they're going to be doing to help the country. Michelle Obama said shes gonna help kids get healthy meals and workout. Melania Trump came out and what does she choose? She came out, no one forced her. and she was like, "as first-lady" "I believe we need to fight" "against the cyber-bullying" "All of the people on the Twitter who are saying the bad things" "we need to stop them." "We need to make sure that they can not carry on what they are doing." I was like, do you know your husband lady? and now I realize she was doing it on purpose. They were having a fight. Yeah. She probably got home that night, dropped her keys on the table Donald Trump was sitting in the living room, turned on the lights. *lights coming on* "Hi Melania." "I saw" "what you said about me" on the news. It was very "not nice." "Oh, hello Donald." "I didn’t see you sitting over there." "I thought you were watching the cartoons." "You know I was watching the news, I watch all the news." "Fake news." "So what are you going to do about it Donald?" "You want a war, you've got a war." "I'm gonna get you Melania, you're gonna pay." "Do your worst Donald." "Oh, it's on." "I'm the best at worst." The next day he came out, gave a speech. What did he say? "we've got to get rid of all these immigrants folks." "All these immigrants need to leave this country." "Your move Melania." She went to a woman's conference, "we need to stop sexual assault" "the men who are grabbing the ladies" "without the permission, we need to..." I was like, "yo, you guys need to sort your shit out at home man."
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Channel: Trevor Noah
Views: 2,409,920
Rating: 4.9166374 out of 5
Keywords: Trevor Noah, Donald Trump, President, United States, Leader, North Korea, Jacob Zuma, South Africa, Melania Trump, Donald & Melania Are Fighting, Versus, Vs., There's A Gupta On My Stoep, Full special, standup comedy, comedian, South African, The Daily Show, The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, trevor noah standup, comedy, comedy central, host, Son Of Patricia, Netflix, America, funny, hilarious, 1 hour, Daywalker, Lost In Translation, That's Racist, Born A Crime, Kim Jong-Un
Id: FxvQlH4WoSY
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 8min 30sec (510 seconds)
Published: Thu Feb 07 2019
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