Toxic people, religion, and spirituality (subtítulos en español)

hi everyone its dr. Romani today we're gonna talk about narcissus and a religion please subscribe to this channel new videos twice a week Mondays and Fridays hit the bell you'll be a subscriber please tell us new video ideas you can drop them right here under this video and also we are trying to do live streams Instagram live streams and and YouTube live streams every Tuesday that's what we're doing this is the ones we've had so far been amazing comments questions from all over the world everyone's learning from each other it's a really fantastic community so please keep tuning in so let's talk about narcissus and religion this is not religion specific it can be any religion from major world religions to whatever religion they've made out this is a question that's come to us from several of our YouTube subscribers several people on Instagram and I've gotten several emails about this they will say it is astonishing to us that a narcissist will hide behind religion let me tell you this it happens all the time and what's interesting is one of the professions that has the highest rates of narcissism is the clergy it's a very powerful position when you think of it and while we'd like to think that anyone who's devoted themselves to spirituality and faith it's full of empathy unfortunately the power part is what throws that off obviously there are amazing devoted people who have devoted their lives and their careers and their calling to their religion Bravo but and this isn't just about clergy this is about how do they use religion so let's think about it in some ways religion is a battle you can't win it's really hard to fight the battle of will that's what God said okay guys I guess you know check me not much I can say past that but here's what narcissists often do and this is what to me is so horrifying they use really as one more tool to rationalize their narcissistic behavior either they'll go real simple with it well that's what God says or they will do things for whatever religious community they are in a church a temple a mosque you know whatever they call their particular religious community and they will really be the big man around church temple mosque whatever they'll be that a big woman they'll be that person highly devoted to the church up an elder a deacon a senior member of that whatever that religious community is they'll be involved in the choir they'll be involved in whatever board of directors or what they're maybe with a religious community and that's one way they can all but guarantee that they trick everyone but he's such a holy man he's so involved in this church or she's such an amazing woman she never misses a Sunday at church the hypocrisy is galling and what's angering and devastating to me is people who actually do in a meaningful way take their faith seriously so they actually take listen maybe with a heavier ear to other people from faith their faith-based community and that's where a narcissist is often able to take advantage while they're so devoted to the church so how can they be a bad person they must be great I have seen narcissists use a religion to make excuses for everything from infidelity to stealing money to lying to twisting in the truth to gas lighting you name it religion ends up becoming the basis of that it's a it's a tricky problem in our modern age because in many ways our hands get tired to even comfortably talk about it people are like well I really you know I don't feel comfortable calling someone out on this is their faith and they try to be open-minded about her saying I'm not in their faith-based community I don't it's mine to counteract and in some ways they use their religion as a suit of armor to protect them somebody tries to call them out they'll be like well you know I'm a very holy person I'm a very spiritual person and that takes us to a second topic which are people who walk around calling themselves deeply spiritual there are a lot of people out there who may not ascribe to a traditional religious Canon but they call themselves spiritual and whether that manifest says yoga or intentions or some other form of spiritual chanting they will do all that spiritual stuff and then have no problem turning around lying to their family cheating on a spouse doing other deceitful things that her coworkers friends and family but then they'll fall back on how spiritual they are and then sometimes they'll use that spirituality or religion as a way to get out of it you know what I've done wrong I am now I have found the right path as though they're finding their right religious path is an excuse for the wrongs that they have perpetrated there is no reset button on life when you hurt someone the only reset button there is is to take real responsibility for it and not make up some kind of excuse well I'm gonna go return to my spiritual core and leave out the genuine apology when somebody is evidencing the patterns associated with narcissism the lack of empathy the entitlement the admiration seeking the arrogance the the controlling nature the superficiality the grandiosity when there evidencing that I don't care how godly they say they are if anything it makes me even more suspicious judge a person by their behavior by their actions don't don't let them off the hook because they get a really cleverly crafted story about how they're so close to God or whatever religious Canon they come from when their lives are in violation of that those religious rules of order or they say one set of rules applies to them and then they take those very very stringent religious rules and they apply them to everyone else take pause take a minute and take note narcissists have this remarkable capacity of using anything as a rationalization and religion is no exception I absolutely applaud people who integrate their faith into their life in a very healthy way and I'm respectful of all denominations and faiths the one thing I'm not respectful of is people who use religion something that's such a core and important thing to many other people who use it as an excuse and as one more weapon of hypocrisy as they go through the world and hurt other people if you've had experiences with somebody who said who really was that person that self-righteous hyper religious or hyper spiritual person who has no problem turning around and hurting you lying to you cheating on you if you feel comfortable let us know if that happened to you because it's happened to many people have gotten in touch it's not okay thank you again for tuning in as always please subscribe to this channel more as we get more subscribers we can get better equipment so we get try to get better sound to you we have again we're gonna have live events as every Tuesday we possibly can we're gonna get them out there and as always please order that book with a lot of the stuff we talked about here is all contained in those pages it's available as a regular book an e-book and an audiobook you can get it at your local bookseller you can get it at online sellers like Barnes & Noble and Amazon thank you so much

Channel: DoctorRamani

Views: 68,213

Rating: 4.9634352 out of 5

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Id: 8S5BtjpF9dA

Length: 8min 44sec (524 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 01 2019