Too Many Options ft. Joe Santagato | No Facts w/ Max #3

you want anything to drink no I'm good before you start do you want to water no I'm right do you want a kombucha Oh I thought you meant calm I was like yeah you're gonna come everywhere do you want to come on your socks I bet you it dries by the end of the pod 100 over under the pod oh Ponder oh I don't know oh well we just took a thousand dollars out of your account [Laughter] [Music] welcome to no facts with Max you won the only Joe santigatos joining us today well it's really good ooh everything sometimes people say that what's really Hood what's really good you should say that pick one thing what's the most Hood thing you've ever seen that I've ever seen ever seen ever experienced that's a great question I've seen some people fight over like um you know when you go to crush the cans yeah and I've seen them get into a fight and like start throwing each other's [ __ ] candles over the place and like I'm like this is pretty good [ __ ] right now also did not expect myself to ask that question I've definitely seen a bonfire on a basketball court into it I've seen that too like in the trash cans right yeah I'm like yeah this is that's super Hood marshmallows nuts the hottest s'mores you've ever had oh I mean I would never eat that that's insane it's just a fire yeah from a garbage can dude what's the difference the garbage can yeah but like the garbage doesn't touch that but it's heating up all the garbage that was in it and now it's in your marshmallow no I also would need a marshmallow that people [ __ ] they do it over their stove in my chill you're eating gas we had oh you weren't even there I'm [ __ ] lying I was like yo we had marshmallows and Highlands and they were like yo this is uh they're like there's toxins in this wood and we just sat there and continued to just roast them why were there top what toxins in the wood they're pressed like compressed wood or something has like some sort of type I don't even know what that what is I don't either yep if it's wood I don't care there's so many things I don't know yeah I consistently walk around every day and I say things and people like Is that real I go I don't know yeah I don't know yeah no I'm just gonna go with it yeah say anything with enough conviction like it could be true if I read an article that's long enough I go facts well think about this if everyone believes it it has to be true right I don't know if that's how it works Bro think about anything with space yo how the [ __ ] would you know we're just trusting people that's it that's true we talked about it yesterday they do discover something new every year which feels crazy yeah like animals we were like yo they find a new animal and then you're just like like how do you know it's new actually you know this is the perfect time we did Google Google how do they discover new animals also one of our smart friends was like yeah they just run the DNA and I was like oh because I thought that there had to be a pow-wow of like a bunch of like old white dudes scientists specifically discover new species in different ways one is studying plant animals or something it doesn't help at all yeah what the [ __ ] it doesn't help at all it's just like fish it was just words I feel like we just read a lot of words no information it talked about museums there's no way they take anything to a museum yeah the Academy of museums no way also Alex before we even get into some of the topics real quick we talked about this yesterday one one wipe or two wipe if you're taking a [ __ ] forget about wipes how many flushes how many flushes 100 the question was flushes yeah I know one wife is nuts I was like I don't remember this question when you're taking a [ __ ] how many times do you flush it depends on the consistency of the [ __ ] okay if it's like a sloppy [ __ ] yeah because there's multiple things yeah there's gonna be flakes there's gonna be fish food the question was what number and you just said yeah if it's messy yes it's like well we're still waiting for the answer oh multiple flushes it depends on the consistency but if you have a solid if it's a solid log right yeah like your stereotypical [ __ ] yeah yeah no that's that's one [ __ ] or one flash but you don't flush at the end again no why would I just to make sure of what I can see I can see everything that might be but what do you do you flush and you [ __ ] run away and you're like I don't know to make sure it doesn't sprinkle on your butt feels good I don't like that dude also I don't like public bro I'm talking about public bathroom oh hell no that's insane one time I took a [ __ ] at MSG I listen for anyone out there listening don't recommend that at all uh but I took a [ __ ] at MSG packed bathroom this [ __ ] came out of me like a cannonball and hit the water and dude I was soaking wet that's my size my [ __ ] how big is the toilet honestly they got you were hovering above the bowl I'd rather a big opening toilet than a small one no small one's perfect dude no I'm like [ __ ] I'm like yo I could miss we didn't say the bathroom was small no no the rim of the toilet I'm talking about you know where your hole is I know that but like I just you know I would like a big Landing Zone do you guys tuck in when you take a [ __ ] the bigger the airport the more planes come in do I tuck in when I touch it yeah do you tuck in when I [ __ ] I usually tuck it all the way back you [ __ ] on your own [ __ ] all the time all the time scrapes the pit my penis all the time man what a messy little day I'm having yeah because wipe it in there for 15-20 minutes I could wipe my ass and then my dick because it gets in the [ __ ] yeah just a tip though yeah yeah that's all you need no 100 I tucked back every time I [ __ ] and then I don't wipe actually what's the alternative I put it on my thigh or like holding it up it reaches your thighs nuts I just wanted to see if somebody we're talking about Mandingo over here it was like I think it should sometimes I just lay it on my thighs like yo you have a 12 inch soft [ __ ] it's like what do you want to do put it on like in my own pocket what do you ever do put it to the side you're like where is it where is it going I would hold it up yeah what do you want to put it on the floor I'm like what shove it into my sock what do you want me to do the room so he's got a 12 inch flask what do you want me to do lay it on my mind you know I have to spend like you know like [ __ ] I'm gonna have weird Tan Lines you're like what are you talking about of course you just gotta let it hang I don't know about like talking back you just let it hang yeah you let gravity do that [ __ ] I have a friend and I don't believe this at all but he said he splashed ones meaning water his dick hit the water there's no way dude bro that's a long way down dude there's no way that's crazy that's like eight I could see your balls if you're like 75 touching the water yeah and like gravity really got the best of you then yeah of course but like nah bro yeah a penis is crazy that's why I don't even know if I want a soft [ __ ] that big but we can't wear basketball shorts what if it crazy it probably doesn't even get hard there's no way you know what I'm saying that's too much blood you probably get dizzy dude's a huge [ __ ] due to the huge dicks you got to think like all the blood is rushing to your dick and it's like bro how do you have anything left for the rest of your appendages also uh I my friend has brought this up before he was like but if you're quick like if you're quick on your feet you have a little [ __ ] dude if you're quick yeah why are you so fast What's it gonna do with dicks I don't know but [ __ ] all the NFL wide receivers yeah there you go little beefs what about you saying bolt huh he's fast though I don't know about being cool yeah but he's just moving straight there's no agility it's a very singular motion Fair yeah and plus what about swimmers you think Phelps got a big old Wang Dang no way actually he's [ __ ] gigantic as a human he's a wide guy he's broad it's also you know what it is like what's big because like if you're six eight and you have a seven inch penis it's like not impressive yeah yeah now if you're five two and you pull out a seven inch penis people are like this guy's got a third leg perception is reality folks so that's why it's probably better to be a short king with a [ __ ] hog and also skinny dudes dudes who are like real thin why is this it's like yo rice It's like because it's [ __ ] I actually feel like my penis has gotten smaller since I've started biking uh since we started this conversation I feel like it's gotten smaller I just like I don't know here yeah right now well yours are mine no me [Laughter] no I'm watching it shrink yeah why ever since you started biking because my thighs got bigger so when I look down sometimes that'll do it it's going away but you ever get exercise penis what is that like sometimes when I exercise then I'm gonna get in the shower like right after the gym or something heavy blood flow no just my dick's just like hanging whack yeah yeah it's like the opposite it's like what the [ __ ] dude only if I'm wearing like spandex shorts like if I come home you go where is my penis yeah I hate that where'd it go I like to know where it is I just wanted to bike with my friends and now I don't no longer have a car that's what I'm saying and now my ass hurts too I [Laughter] think you can ride in a bike faster just stand up more uh you can't do that [ __ ] can't do that but I'll be riding bikes sometimes like my the bike that I have in the seat is like pretty ruthless I feel like I used to is that how uh Armstrong got [ __ ] testicular cancer from riding bikes biking maybe right I don't think that's how you get it I mean I've no I feel like if you get hit enough times in the balls they don't for sure [ __ ] up something damn that was real sciency so I'm gonna believe you yeah but no if it goes booming sometimes bro they would never they would have wouldn't have all the people in Tour de France they all get [ __ ] ball cancer I bet you some of them do yeah I bet you some of them I bet you study I bet you there's a higher percentage of people who are in the Tour de France who get testicular cancer than men who just walk around daily and go to an office job well there's like 15 people who do the Tour de France so and if three of them have it that's nuts that's big percentage that's a big percentage it's fair do some research here how many what is that is that a spider no just just put into bikes give you ball cancer ball damage do spiders have balls we look up and it's just do you remember when you were like when girls would be like oh don't don't hit my tit I could get breast cancer is that a thing because now it's like this is the same thing I know if you hit your balls you can what is it you can't have kids your balls get hit enough times really I think that's what they say right otherwise including horseback oh told you told you you see me and I do all of it I horseback ride I cycle I smoke wait and I have a vasectomy laughs I just got one for like shits and gigs I'll reverse it I was [ __ ] around dude just a couple years who was it there yeah it was a hundred bucks well this articles from Twitter it was Memorial Day weekend you ever ride a horse though no I wrote I've never ridden like a I've never ridden a horse I've just like sat on one if that makes sense like people are like let's go on this Trail why would you wait what like you've sat on a horse and it just didn't move no it moved but like it's walking that's not riding that's horseback riding no dude you're sitting on a horse walking you don't have to race it on a track I want it to jog if I say I rode a horse oh you just do just like and they start running but imagine you told your friends you're like dude I rode a horse and someone saw a video and all I was doing was walking but I'm definitely taking that to the bank are you kidding me there's no way that's like like losing your virginity was like when you're when you're when your dick made it through to the vagina okay not a virgin I remember thinking that like I did it wait when I lost my virginity when it touches no as soon as it went into the vagina I was like I've done it really I lied when I lost my virginity about what so I didn't even get to tell her that was my first time oh that I lost my virginity oh I lied too yeah I lost it in college she was like you ever [ __ ] I was like come on oh all the [ __ ] look at me yeah yo look at me of course I [ __ ] since I was like an animal she's like and I'm like I went to puberty when I was 15. and she's like what yeah yeah I was I was letting it rip I lost my virginity and then didn't have sex for like 18 months that's insane yeah it was not like this is the beginning of my career I was like that happened and then it did not happen thank God you lived in a basement huh I know you let that thing rip down there there was a there was an 18 months yeah it's great once you had sex you're like I missed that I'm on it was your first time a good time it was ah yeah it was in a car in a car yeah you sick animal on Hazen Street you know exactly what we're having I would hope so I wasn't [ __ ] strung out on meth and heroin I was conscious it's a moving car I was driving somewhere on the BQE some exit out on Long Island I don't [ __ ] know dude her parents were driving yeah I was in an Uber dude just goes for the web we had a what was the sex question that someone asked they said uh oh we have questions yeah we had some people submit [ __ ] dear I can name off the first one I don't think there's anything directly tied to sex but oh man I thought we I thought maybe I didn't write it down we do have uh your therapist was it your therapist therapist said sex addictions are real when you lose someone oh yeah yeah so I actually that's actually what it was your question my [ __ ] therapist last week said that I was talking to her about like sex Edition addictions sex addictions happen when you lose someone important to you but I feel like it's harder for me to want to be in one thing so you want to [ __ ] around I don't anymore which is why I've like talked to her about it because I was like I was like how do I like slow down like how do I like find something you're just [ __ ] crushing [ __ ] that I'd rather be and I go I want to bring my numbers under about 90. per month it's addicted what it's like listen therapist I'm just up to my neck in this [ __ ] and I don't want to be like that because I'm almost drowning in [ __ ] I go I see the way you look at me and honestly she's like yeah I don't know if I can work with you anymore yeah no but I asked her she was like uh that sex addictions happen when you lose someone because you try to fill a void mentally and I was like maybe I'm also just a horny little Latino boy maybe because I like I'd rather be in like a thing with like a girl but with a girl I go not a horse dude not a horse no horses no animals no boys yeah girl uh old school girl um old school girl I like them old school I want an old school woman I want Bush someone who can cook take a beating you know like an old school Italian woman yeah someone's who's happy to see me when I land from my ship when I come back from the sea someone is going to kiss me when I'm leaving on a train you know something like that and wave to me I go man do I love her and then go cheat on her the next stop that's old school love right there no but I thought I was like I don't know what to do in regards to uh like slowing down she's like well you have to put yourself in a position which is like to just be with one person so she was kind of that's what we kind of talked about dating apps yesterday yeah and I was like I want to get off of it completely actually you know what's funny about Raya uh I've when we were talking like if you delete your ride you have to reapply so yeah keep you on there because I was like now I'm stuck here I was like because you I have met like cool ass people but like the idea of like dating these people is like most of them like no honest on a serious note I feel like because I've talked about this with some friends and just being like I think this is really bad for you know one thing that I was very shocked because like I don't have any of that like I never did any of the apps really like Tinder when it first came out but I was like this is kind of stupid and also it wasn't as like serious as it is now like I feel like hinge is way different than Tinder like Tinder was a [ __ ] Wild West it was just [ __ ] yeah but I never did any of the apps or any of that [ __ ] and uh I was surprised to find that my friends were who have been on the apps for years have like been on under 10 Dates from the app yeah which is like crazy to me and I'm like what is the point of that like to have this and whatever and I think that it is a little damaging to be on the ABS and be able to just like you're essentially seeing a person and finding reasons why not and you don't know them yeah like whatsoever no actual connection like whatever it's just like nah or it's like oh they're good looking let me go try and find something that's bad like that like you're training yourself to do that so I think when you meet people in person you're essentially doing that instead of finding things that are good you're looking for like all right but what's the thing yeah like you know why do I hate you what's weird about it is like you're shopping yeah that's what it's like gamifying of yes [ __ ] super weird and like the the longer I've been like in it the more I'm like this is [ __ ] so bad for you but also there is a side of it where it's like I like that it's almost like a separate app to speak to people because I feel like people are weird like I don't like the fact that it's like like let's say like you were like to flirt with someone and like talk to someone and then later in your career someone wants to be like oh look at this person dm'd me look at this person did and you're like yeah you don't want to put like a DM like the DMS don't say anything crazy but you're like come on you don't gotta [ __ ] tell people we dm'd each other or whatever so it's the idea that you can like delete an app and be like well there goes a conversation and like we could still be friends and like the people that are that you became cool with you could still stay in contact with those people but like the fact that a dating app is like all chats and you go deleted I'm out I think it's just like what you're what you're like if you're trying to settle down and you're like looking for the person or whatever like I I don't know I just think that that's not the right I don't think it's the wrong way I just think in my opinion it's it I think it's a little camera though it's a little counterproductive in my opinion because I think you're just training yourself to be like there's a next person yeah I could just throw this out and get another person it's like over stimulation you have Endless Options it's like trying to find something to watch on Netflix like it's like that option paralysis where there's always something better exactly it's like you way too many options and it's like how could you actually make a choice because you're always gonna be like well this person's great on these many levels but someone else could be better but the thing is [ __ ] that all social media is that though yeah it is like you get to a point where it's like a dating app is kind of just like social media like Raya is as close to like Instagram as any dating app I've ever used which is kind of why I like it because it's like you have like access to like people's things but then it's like I said it's like a a different server to speak to people yeah so it's not being like those conversations aren't like saved on Instagram like if you had let's just say like you spoke to someone for like a day or two now that person can't like in five years like screenshot it and be like look we used to date we used to talk and you're like no why is that a fear of yours huh because we were talking about yesterday where it's like a girl be like oh I used to date him or I used to you're like no we didn't but like whatever I mean that's I mean to me that's like not a huge issue like if anything that makes them look a little weird to do that also you can't screenshot them right right no it tells you you're like remove you yeah yeah but that's what I'm saying like that's why I kind of like it because it's like it's like this network where like everyone's almost like well behaved right you got me like Instagram is a [ __ ] Cesspool sell our dating apps but Rye is almost like they try to limit that they try to limit like people not even confidential like technically I can still show my friend they can still take a picture of the thing but like they try to limit people being [ __ ] [ __ ] you know like the idea of like someone messaging you or like saying a prompt or something crazy for you to message something back and then being like yo look what they [ __ ] I screenshotted this person saying this or whatever I just feel like it's you know I wouldn't want to get to know someone through text really like I think it's easier to meet someone like organically and I think that also feels more special dude where the [ __ ] do you meet people organically no I'm just like dating because like bars are not it every time I go to a bar I look around I'm like I want none of these people right I mean it just hap I feel like it just happens organically like if you are friends with a lot of people which I know you are like and you're very like personable like you meet people and then eventually you're just around different groups and you're just like I don't know you just I don't know it like randomly happens like obviously you can't plan for that it's like harder to be like I'm gonna go and meet someone but you're used to the [ __ ] apps because in the past that wasn't the thing you weren't like making a conscious decision to meet someone it was just like I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna you know and maybe I'll run into someone but now it's like I can watch I can uh do this right now I can meet someone or be looking for someone because I can just open this [ __ ] happen I now I'm looking for someone but you're just so it's like I don't know you just go out and you're just kind of like I also feel like I grew up with the apps like those apps came out like in college like ever since I started dating apps have been around so it's like if I'm in a thing off the app when I'm not you're just back on the app it's like the only way I know how to be single is like having an app like like you don't have to have a million like I'm not out here [ __ ] you don't need seven dating apps but like if you have one and you get to meet people you're like oh this is fun this is fun yeah I think there's nothing wrong with that if if like if I was doing the app thing I would be like I would uh match with someone and try to meet them like immediately if I was like if if there was some sort of inclination of like oh we have some sort of Rapport like I don't but I don't want to do this texting thing yeah like I'd rather just meet you personally get this [ __ ] over I I I always do that like my first couple messages I'm like you want to just like grab a coffee you want to just like do something where like we hang out because I'm not going to know if I ever want to continue talking to you until I meet you yeah I mean it's it's and it's also like you have to make sure that the other person is on the same wavelength as you as far as like what this is and like that's a difficult thing to kind of convey because most people's thing on the dating app is like this is nothing so yeah everyone treats it like now thinks you're like it's not even a dating app you're just speaking to people yeah what's your to your point about uh you know the ratio between like going to a bar and like not seeing anybody that you're attracted to you could probably correlate that that ratio to like dating apps you're probably swiping through what you would consider probably about 40 butter faces until you got to somebody that you're attracted to and then you start talking to them but like the same ratio probably apply for a bar right if the difference is there's not [ __ ] like when I'm swiping through an app right like if I go on an app and like I like I'm attracted to someone there's not [ __ ] 70 dudes standing around this person you know what I mean like that's the other thing so it's like oh look this girl's like pretty I want to like match with her you're like there's not [ __ ] 10 dudes howling at this thing like animals but there's there's 150 dudes howling at her on the app I don't want to see them yeah there's a difference in like the like here's the thing is any girl who's hot their DMS are flooded this is what it is there's [ __ ] creepy people everywhere like that's what social media is it's like this Limitless connection people can contact you at any time you could be in the comfort of your home and someone just goes you ugly little [ __ ] [ __ ] and you're like this is ruined my morning and you're like in bed yeah I think that you know what the we were talking about like the Endless Options like everyone's kind of in this world now like everyone has an app they all have all the options in the world like women I'm talking about um and so I don't I don't think those people are necessarily actually available until they have that moment or like an epiphany of like this isn't this isn't how I'm supposed to meet people because like how could anyone feel special when there's literally you have 2 000 matches and it's like these are all just dudes and like some are great looking dudes and they have good jobs but I just didn't Vibe with them other people have Vibe with but they don't look as good as this guy and he went to a better College than him or whatever it's like you're just comparing how could you possibly settle on one sure yeah you know like that's impossible and then for everyone and for dudes it's just the opposite where it's like anybody and then it's like and you match with someone I don't know it's like how like it doesn't feel like anyone's actually like emotionally available it's because it's like there's no emotion in this [ __ ] they're just avatars yeah it's like there's no emotion involved in this but how could there be for example like you've lived in New York your whole life yeah uh like even born and raised here I've never dated someone that's from here it's like an over stimulation like everyone that I've ever dated was not from you was not from New York so like but I had State yeah but but I like [ __ ] New Yorkers like I love women from here yeah because there's just a different demeanor in like the way they like carry themselves but it's also like this over stimulation where you're like okay so a girl who's like cool and dances and carry yourself well also probably out here in these streets like wilding out because she's so social because like she grew up in this world you know I mean it just depends I mean that's a wild assumption to make or like to even like be like oh yo I probably wouldn't like you already talking in a generality of being like I've never dated from someone from New York and the way that you're saying that to me is you're already in your head going like probably I won't probably won't meet someone from New York no no I like the idea of meeting like I would prefer if you've already put like limitations on what that means no no I just said like you know they could be out here in the streets I'm going strictly off like my life like I don't go oh she's from here perfect like I've just dated whatever the people that I've dated but I'm like yeah I've never been from here like that's the one thing that I could like look at and be like none of them are from here like I like the idea of like a girl having like family in Queens yeah like to have like a family like in Long Island like something that's not far where it's like why is that a thing because I I don't know I love like family [ __ ] yeah but like people have family of course but like if if I date a girl who's from [ __ ] Seattle Washington and all her family's out there it's like I'm not gonna meet these people till God knows when and even when I do meet them it's like we're never really gonna like meet me you know okay I like the idea of like if if I'm dating someone I want to [ __ ] know your family I want to know like the people that love you and care about you and I want to be around around those people but that's why New York's [ __ ] impossible because it's a million people that are not from here and the more so when I moved to Manhattan I was like [ __ ] everyone's not from here right and if anything people are more attracted to the fact that I am from here they're like you have family in Queens I go all of it and they're like yeah yeah oh my God like you have an older sister and I go yeah in Queens like you have grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins I'm like yeah in Queens like it's all close to them so for them they get that feeling that I want almost but I'm like I want someone to [ __ ] have something here like a base I think it's crazy to like date someone and be like let's say you dated like a year even two years and you're like you haven't met anyone that was [ __ ] like raised them or like yeah like I don't know who you actually are like I just know who you tell me you are and like pretend to be but like when I meet your mom and your dad or like your brother your sister like those people you have a better understanding who that person is yeah because they're in their comfort zone like yeah yeah she could be sweet to me but then I see her relationship with her parents and I'm like oh she's [ __ ] the devil yeah yeah it's like and I have a different understanding of like who you are when you're around those people yeah I mean I think that kind of comes along with like just dating in general I mean all those things I think are like you know I get it like being family oriented and everything yeah um but I feel like you could you figure that out I think you get to a certain point with somebody and you're kind of like yeah we'll just figure this out like I'm not like it would be nice if they were [ __ ] down the block but like all right we'll just figure this part out and like eventually you know whatever but I don't know man like I said I think I think uh you know especially now we're at the age that I am I'm 31 and my friends are around the same age as me a year older you're younger or two years younger or something like that and everyone's in a different [ __ ] place it's crazy but I was talking about this my friend the other day I was like at this point in my life it's this is a difficult time because if you're a single dude um and for the most part people and like especially now people are like changing jobs or like they're they were remote or they want a remote job now it's like if you're at this age and you're a single dude it's it's probably very difficult because already dating is difficult because of the apps and like the countless amount of options and all the [ __ ] we just talked about but then you're also making these big decisions in your life of like you have to date with a lot of intent now like you meet someone it's not like when you're meeting someone when you're 17 it's like oh you're hot and I would like to have sex with you like consistently but we don't have to think about kids or marriage or anything like that yeah but when you're dating in your late 20s early 30s it's like women ideally would like to have kids before they were 36 years old or something like that you know what I mean so it's like you don't have that much time and it's like you have to start thinking about this in a different way not just like a girlfriend but like someone who you're gonna [ __ ] yeah like it's crazy yeah so it's like there's so much pressure on top of the Endless Options it's near impossible but that that's what I'm [ __ ] like that's what I hate like when I was talking to my therapist about it she was like oh yeah she's like you're you probably are trying to fill this void because you know you lost your mom blah blah she was like sex addictions are real and this and I was like it's not like an addiction but it's like I just can't find one person that I'm like I only want to be with this person right now because it's [ __ ] like it's like this quick thing like I'm so turned off I'm like an immediate like someone does one freaky thing yeah like one sketchy thing and I'm like I don't need to be here you just dip I feel like I'm a hopeless romantic in that like eventually someone will just like Trump all that like you'll you'll just be like [ __ ] like all right I'm a hopeless romantic too but I'm also a [ __ ] which is the [ __ ] like you can't be a hopeless romantic and be a [ __ ] like I'm not but I think you think even because like eventually you're just like oh I don't want to do that [ __ ] anymore it's like and you know what the other side is well I'm there now like I'm at this point where I'm like dude I'm old enough to where it's like I'm down with like the fun [ __ ] like I've had mad Von I've done it all but it's like I'd just rather focus on it like we talked a little bit about it yesterday but I was like yo I feel like you just get more work done like you can focus on like the things you want to focus on when you're not catering to the idea of dating someone or hanging out with like different people to try to find this thing yeah it sounds [ __ ] exhausting yeah find me like uh I have never in my life been dating multiple people I've always just like if I made the decision to be like Oh I'm gonna start dating this person I won't entertain anybody else like even if it's like I'm talking about like a second date like I'll already be like I'm not gonna [ __ ] like do this with a bunch of different people because I'm just I'm also just not that type of person to like like first of all it sounds exhausting and just like man unorganized and this and that it's like okay if there is something kind of attracting me to this person I'm gonna see this through until I feel like nah yeah you know and but I would I was kind of able to block out everyone else and be like okay I'm just gonna give this person a shot and see what what happens um but like the idea of doing that with multiple people how like and maybe this is just like a [ __ ] like the Hopeless Romantic in me it's like how could I actually be have so much intention with someone or like like I'm gonna see this through but also have other people that I'm thinking about in that way even if it's like the same even if it's like early on or like whatever like how could it work out like we're gonna go on seven dates and then I'm gonna go on four dates with this person and be like oh no this this now but then what was that you know like I feel like it would be taking away from the other thing yeah I uh I don't know man like that's why I like said no because I'm like it I guess it depends what your lifestyle is because like even now like this is the first time that I go this is the hardest dating's ever been when I'm traveling a lot yeah because it's like yo if I leave for like a week and a half or girl be like what do you mean you're leaving for a week and a half yeah and they treat it as if I'm gone for [ __ ] eight years I come back and I'm like this is now like a different thing even after like two weeks I'm gone for like two weeks and I'm not the person like I don't want to text you every day I just don't like that so it's like if I leave for like a week or two weeks and I like barely spoke to you and then I come back and I'm like oh yeah let's let's like hang let's do this thing it's like they feel weird about it they're like I mean where you been I mean why wouldn't they though but why would they because bro we're growing up in an age where everyone's connected all day every day you're on you're texting you're on Instagram you're on but it's unhealthy Tick Tock don't duh yeah but like this is why everyone's emotionally unavailable and like they need the constant validation and reassurance they're used to that yeah I don't want to ask you what you did today six times what are you up to how about now how about how was that thing that you told me you were gonna do well ideally you wouldn't have to do that in conversation would just kind of roll out of people I know but like it's even just like the idea of like well you wouldn't have a connection do that at the end of the day yeah like I'm weird because like in my heart what oh you just flash us pull this guy out five minutes um but like that's the thing is like the idea of like I don't know people needing that instant [ __ ] gratification the second they text you you like you don't answer someone for [ __ ] three hours four hours and they're like they're doing something yeah they're out there whatever I think that's a little different like if we're talking about like hours and stuff but like if I was very interested in in somebody and then I didn't hear for them for for a week I would be like well that's what's your most amount of days that becomes odd well it depends how long you're talking let's let's say you guys been talking for like two months right been hanging out and then how many dates you're gone for two weeks all right let's [ __ ] eight one a week I think I would feel weird if like I would feel weird if like multiple days went by to be honest I would just not not just like I need to be talking to you all the time but it's not about it there's no check-in yeah it's just it's not even about a check and it's like hey by the way I'm still here it's just kind of like if we're getting to know each other like I know nothing about you at this point I've been dating for two months yeah you know like I know nothing about you so there should be endless things to talk about yeah and if we're if it's going as well as I think it's going then we would be talking every day and not like forcing it like how was your day honey like it's more just like you're getting to know a friend I'm saying that you've been bringing up like there's more details to it you ever go through that with like your guy friends where it's like you do you hang out with a dude if you haven't seen in a while and then it's like you guys talk every day for like five days straight and then you don't really talk again yeah it's like I used to do that all the time I used to say that with my friends were like but it would be like whole Summers who like it was like one summer I hung out with espo like every day and then like we've never done that again you know like we hang out obviously like periodically but like we want every day for a summer then I was like my friend boss like every day for a summer it's like but I feel like it's kind of like one of those things so you you're if you're dating someone uh at least in my opinion like you get excited about friends are different though because there's no physical component of course but I think that you're when you're excited about dating someone and uh you know you enjoy their company and it depends also what you want out of a relationship if you're and I consider myself a pretty independent person but even I like it's not that I need it it's just that it would feel natural like I talk to my friends every day you know what I mean and like this person is ideally would become your best friend yeah yeah yeah uh two months is like early obviously so I don't think it's like crazy if like a day but like you know just as long as it felt like it was sort of reciprocated like I'm not the one hitting you up every time after two days if I was us not talking that would feel weird but if you hit me up after two days and sometimes I hit you up after two days like that is that to me feels a little different but like if it's always me trying to reach out like I'd be like all right well they're not on the same like this isn't the same you're not interested yeah as much and if we're both not interested like really hitting us up each other up either peace or like we're both not at that point yet and I think that's fine too you say you're traveling a lot it's like if you're traveling a lot and you're doing this and that whatever bro you're just not at that point where you could like even get to that point like yeah of course why would you feel compelled to talk to someone every single day if it's like I can't even do this anyway like I'm trying to like build ground work with certain people but I'm I'm not like I don't have the time to just sit here and like try to give this a fair 100 shot but I also understand that like this isn't momentary like I'm gonna be doing stand-up for the rest of my life yeah like at least till I'm 50. this is like this is just my career there's a thing I enjoy doing I love my job but it's like I'll be on the road a lot yeah like so it's like me adjusting to like that schedule of being like I'm gonna be on the road no matter what whether like I adjust to it or my life has to adjust to it whatever I'm gonna be on the road like so my partner or whoever is gonna have to adjust to that and that [ __ ] feels impossible right now because I'm like no one wants to adjust to that well well also you're gonna have to make adjustments too like you can't expect to adjust if you make no adjustments you know like you can't be like you gotta think about it like differently too like you can't just be like yo I'm gonna I'm on the road I'm doing this and that and like if it works for you cool if it doesn't like whatever like cool that's fine like I get why people would have that but I also think at certain points you know I kind of treat my career like this too it's like bro I I'm pretty [ __ ] thick-headed and you know I'm like I always do what I want as far as that but like at the end of the day bro if you don't adapt you die and it's like if you're gonna be on the road and you know that's a difficult thing it's not about finding someone who's just willing to accept that like you also have to make certain adjustments and maybe change your mentality behind like how you're going to approach something like that for anyone to even for it to be like acceptable but there's two approaches either go on the road or I don't no I disagree dude what are you talking about there's a bunch of comedians who go on the road and they're married with Children and a lot of them they were just being like yeah because they're comedians but like you know what I mean but like it's so hard but you don't have to like maintain those really there's also a lot of comedians who are [ __ ] miserable and they think it's cool to be sad yeah yeah cool yeah like no like that's not it either with my friends I want to smile dude I don't want to yeah like I think that a lot of people too especially in like in the comedic space they just try to fit a mold they so badly want to be like those guys and those guys were like this so I gotta be like that I should have scored it you just got to be funny like that's it like that's all you really have to worry about but you could do those things and could make them happen if you really want to like obviously do you want to Rattle off at like two of the questions that people ask yeah yeah so uh like for advice what are the relationship ones that people I got you I can't seem to pay attention to boring hot women any advice I actually uh I ca like I I would never be able to do that pretend yeah yeah I can't pretend and not at this point like there's no way that you'd be able to be like also there's there's not boring hot women that's why like it's not like you yeah it's not like you have to take yeah boring hot women it's like I also don't like people not just women but like you you meet certain dudes too and so it's either like Rich dudes or like really good looking dudes or whatever people feel like they don't have to try in certain areas it's like I [ __ ] hate this yeah you know when it feels like you're just letting the world happen to you and you're like you're at a point of privilege because you're either really good looking or you have a certain status or whatever and if you're just gonna like rely on that it's like ah [ __ ] these people you know what I mean I I would never be able to be like all right cool like I'm just gonna let you get away with this because you're hot yeah yeah I think that I think that works when you're younger and you're you view your track record as like say you're you've only [ __ ] like two or three people yeah and you're like I just I really want to bring like subconsciously you want to bring those it's a trophy and it's a trophy so you're like I'm willing to put up with that whatever [ __ ] but once you've you've been more experienced then it's like okay well I I can do this again with somebody who's better a better interactor a better interaction than than this like I also think that you don't have a lot of experience when you're younger and and when you're older and you have you've been through certain relationships like you know like the better relationship you have with a person like the better the sex is anyway yeah like you if I don't know this person I'm not really interested in on an intellectual level it's gonna be trash like it's just gonna be like yeah so I would continue to do what you're doing sir yeah don't don't pay attention to them okay uh second one best pickup lines biggest fails what's the one thing that you want you ever walked into like a situation you're like [ __ ] this is gonna work the only this is one time that I've I don't really haven't really done pickup lines either but like the only thing that's ever happened to me that made me feel so [ __ ] horrible and I guess I just misread the situation or whatever but I was at a bar in Astoria yeah and there was this girl there and we were like dancing and [ __ ] and we were like dancing for like a half an hour and she seemed super into me or whatever so I just like went for it like I like leaned in to kiss her and she pulled away and was like whoa and I was like oh [ __ ] I was like I'm so sorry and it was just loud you get louder yeah that was you yeah and then I was like oh my God I was like and I felt so bad and then she knew this kid that I knew there because they were like together like a friend group or whatever so before I left I went up to him and I was like yo can you please tell a girl like I'm super sorry because that made me feel so weird to do that I was like [ __ ] dude I almost like the lean in and the pullback is the most awkward yo it was a horrible dude yeah like that that's the only time that's really happened to me and I was pretty sure that it was gonna go good and it didn't so that to me was probably like the biggest fail dancing for a half an hour is pretty hilarious because you're like over feeling it we weren't like [ __ ] you know [ __ ] line dance like we were [ __ ] Dancing Yeah you know I don't know I thought love was in the air I was totally wrong how old are you then uh I was probably like 19 or 20. just a boy a boy with dreams it's a boy it's a boy trying to love someone I was I was around the same age and I was dancing with two girls and they and like dancing with them and we're all kind of drunk and they're making out and we're all dancing uh so like so I was like I'm in with both of them and so like I kind of had a similar experience but I tried for one and it just ruined it for both of them too so it was like twice as bad I was like [ __ ] I'm gonna get in on this so embarrassing you guys up real quick have you ever done that I've never done that what like made out with two people at the same time dude I've had two threesomes in my life I'm over one yeah but that's still not the same what I'm talking about like a threesome is one thing but like three people kissing at the same time yeah I've done that in the threesome I was like you gotta try this yeah yeah it's like my [ __ ] is out I was like if anything this feels like a step down you're like I just feel like it looks like it's not like you know it looks a little messy it's like I don't think anyone's really kissing each other this is just stupid no there's like one person that's kind of like kissing the side of the cheek or like it's like It's gotta be it doesn't fit perfectly yeah God did not intend for that to be no no one person has to be upside down so their nose doesn't hit yeah you go oh this is perfect now we got it we figured it out yeah no I've had a actually I think I've talked to you about this but like I have two threesomes in my entire life yeah first one I had I had to have a second threesome and obviously like it's like a man's dream to be like oh [ __ ] did it yeah first one did not go how I thought it was gonna go no I was like mad confident I was like bro I got I was like nervous obviously but like I'm not gonna show that I'm reverse I was like bro I got this I [ __ ] got this when I showed up and I was like I don't even know what to do I have no idea I was like I don't know what because like when you're having regulars you're like it's you and this other person so like everything you're doing is the two of you when there's three people and they just start doing some [ __ ] you're like I feel too empathetic when do I jump into this I feel like I'd be too empathetic I'd always be thinking about the other person like are they getting enough attention yeah like it's always ever and everybody's probably thinking about that and there's like how are you are you doing okay yeah you're good yeah are you stimulating you guys are gonna make each other come right it's like a waiter when a waiter comes over you guys need anything you could got water and your mouth is full you want to order first or yeah you want you want you want for service first okay mad nervous because like in my head here's the other thing it's like it's not just like having a threesome like in your head you're like I want both of them to come or finish and you're like do I it's a big job it's a big job I've had sex with just one person and they haven't come so you go now there's two yeah this is nuts yeah because it's [ __ ] like it's [ __ ] nerve-wracking dude like yeah that's what's crazy about being a dude it's like you have to maintain a boner yeah while you're riddled with anxiety yeah which is sometimes near impossible it's about you're like oh my God I'm nervous well this is over now yeah because because it's not it yet like your vagina will be there forever it'll be there yeah like there's ways to get you excited like if I'm just nervous dude yeah it's a wrap I would just sit there I'm like yeah my dick's like no you're good you can't get a hard on while you're trembling I struggle no that [ __ ] freaked me out and then the second time I so the first time the girls were friends that's why I think I was nervous okay so they knew each other like wow yeah and I've had sex with one of them and then whatever yeah so like when I walk in the thing they're already in the house together so I almost felt weird where I was like I'm walking into this thing where like they've like you're welcome totally prepped yeah they're [ __ ] like when he gets here I got his mouth you got his [ __ ] and you're like I walk in and I'm like scared I'm like what's going on like one person's taking your clothes off the next person's like making out with you it's like they've been doing a layup line for a half an hour and you just walk in the gym cold yeah and they're like shoot a three yeah shoot the game-winning three right interference what the [ __ ] yo what happened to the rest of the time you go how do we get to the fourth quarter they're like yeah we both are ready [ __ ] we're ready also while we were having sex one of the girls was just goes I really gotta use the bathroom and so I don't know big fat [ __ ] I don't know but it made me nervous but they had to go to the bathroom no one of them just left for the bathroom and because I was having sex with the other girl and the other girl was like I'm gonna use the bathroom and in my head I was like that didn't go well ah she's sad I was like I didn't give her another time yeah so like now I'm still with this girl and I'm thinking about the other you want to apologize I'm not very good at this she comes out are you okay and you're still like here you're like dude it was too much that's like trying to date multiple people at the same time you're juggling too much there you go well that's what it was it was just I don't know what to do like it was like the freakiest thing ever the second time I like was with that other girl and then another girl wanted to join us and I was like oh this is way cooler this feels way more normal okay like the idea of like you know like relationships that'll be like oh we're gonna bring a third yeah that makes way more sense because at least like you're with your partner and you go we're gonna [ __ ] with her yeah yeah yeah whereas like whereas like when I was walking you don't like to be teamed up on yeah they were both like we're gonna [ __ ] the [ __ ] out of him man you're like like you walk in and you're being preyed on dude it's terrifying yeah whereas when this other girl came like when she left me and this other girl were like [ __ ] yeah we [ __ ] the [ __ ] out of her we [ __ ] her we [ __ ] her good it's all about the dynamic yeah you want to be on the winning team exactly I'm not yeah I'm not trying to play a one on two I'll be on the team that has two people though it's like it's too much going on yeah it's like it's like you're playing [ __ ] doubles and tennis and one person just has a single person you're like there's so much Court dude how do I cover all you guys can cover all of it over there it's like there's nowhere where I can do something that you guys can't get to it or feel comfortable it's an unfair Advantage for sure super unfair I was like it's way worse but you're back as well you had to get out of here do we have one more just rip one out oh God I like that I already see it it's dming women on LinkedIn more mature than Instagram no dude like all of LinkedIn DMS are just like congratulations on your position or like I have an opportunity for you like what I do congratulate Sally if someone dmed me like romantically on LinkedIn I would just be like this is a hooker really yeah of course why because like what am I going it's LinkedIn this is a weird route yeah but that person at least knows you have a job yeah that's kind of sick but that's what I'm saying if it's LinkedIn I'm just not gonna assume that this is real I'll be like oh they're trying to like I don't know harvest in order this is like this is like a hooker that hooks up with people in Five Fortune 500 companies though like she's on top of the game because she's on LinkedIn she's a Stormy Daniels dude I don't know I feel like if you're like a really rich person they have like [ __ ] matchmakers I'm like we'll put you together with one of the Kennedys or something oh yeah Prince whatever from [ __ ] those are escorts those are escorts yeah what that's what I would think though I think it was like an escort like oh I would love to I don't know speaking of dating women get to meet way cooler people dude my [ __ ] I know a girl dude she [ __ ] she went to a bar and she met a prince why is a prince at a bar is that allowed dude that's mad cool you broke out of the castle like Jasmine [ __ ] dude dude I've never met a princess I will say that I've never if you're a prince in a bar I'm not paying yeah you're buying the Rapture Prince you're buying the bar and buy the bar and make it free what the [ __ ] yeah my friend needs a house what the [ __ ] is my friend's looking for an apartment you got a pet tiger they're bringing up random [ __ ] I have car payment so I got we just met Europe Prince Europe Prince dude cool I literally met a prince though and I was like that's [ __ ] so much cooler dude is she cool out of Prince now it's because guys are the [ __ ] like guys have like cool like strong jobs a lot of times like the dudes that are like trying to pick up women like they'll use that as their pickup now I swear the prince they'll be like I'm the CEO of [ __ ] LinkedIn yeah and then like I'll meet a girl and she's like I've been unemployed for six months I was like [ __ ] dude like you're allowed to do that and come to a bar that guy who's the [ __ ] CEO whatever had to work his ass off we can come here and afford a couple drinks like this girl's gonna come here not the prince though he just had a princess had to be born Daddy got it yeah he's got a Gold Lambo I can't imagine being that I never get to meet a princess though I don't think you're allowed dude you are you can meet princesses if they're in public yeah but I don't think they are dude I don't know I didn't know that princes could even just be like yo yeah my [ __ ] in the East Village like what I'm at I'm at the Diddy yeah right what the [ __ ] are you talking about man like yeah I'm just at this dive bar having a couple Brews yeah I'm for a prince dude I'm a hammered I gotta walk my tiger later yeah through a story apart yeah like is the bar in Dubai because if it's not then [ __ ] get the [ __ ] out of it but how sick is that though Abby dope and like here's the thing she's just a regular girl she doesn't like come from like the craziest money or anything like she met a prince dude also pretty sick that that guy can just lie because here we are in a podcast and in my head I go that guy was a prince because she told him that she was yeah he told her he was a prince and then she told me and I was like yep that guy's a prince yeah I mean obviously the lie just continues actually I think you could easily lie if you're lying about your job go huge go big because it's like he would lie about something different or more vague like I'm a doctor but like I'm a prince yeah but how do you how did how do they prove you're not because there's probably a ton of princes no but that's what I'm saying exactly they'll never know because like if you say you're the CEO of some [ __ ] they can Google that yeah you just got my prince it's like no well you're not gonna find my [ __ ] LinkedIn for being a prince make something up acting CEO who the [ __ ] does that mean but that would still be somewhere online you're like where's your IMDb and we're drunk in a bar dude like I'm not gonna come up on Google also lie about your name be smart I used to tell people Scott posednik who he was an outfielder on the White Sox yeah exactly Scott posednik yeah you're out of here all right my bro I'll see you later oh yeah get there [ __ ] on time it's 5 15. what's up y'all so the episode this week with Joe santigato was a two-hour episode we put out one hour the other hour is actually going to be on patreon if you guys want to listen to more of the episode please go on patreon.com no facts with Max and go sign up and support the podcast thank y'all um I guess we could [ __ ] we can leave it here yeah yeah you want to grab food dude uh do you want to plug anything even though [ __ ] uh you guys can go follow uh the basement yard Tick Tock Instagram uh and I'm Joe santigato on all social media platforms dude appreciate you doing the Pod uh go follow the pie guys at no facts with Max and yeah this will be up in like a week and week and a half I appreciate you doing the Pod dude thank you dessert

Channel: Max Manticof

Views: 7,784

Keywords: 9-11-21

Id: P74M1WpM6zQ

Length: 53min 38sec (3218 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 06 2023