TLLS Craig Ferguson - 2013.04.29 - Mary McCormack, Jim O'Heir

I saw something on the internet that worried me today no you know not the usual thing Oh Ferguson you suck or all that stuff work that that doesn't worry me at all no it was apparently do you know that they're making musical of rocky oh yeah yeah now I like rocky and I like musicals it's a bit like pineapples and pizza you know what I mean that's right like pineapples I like pizza but you put them together you have a disaster a disaster associated with taste and I'm thinking to myself much as I don't want to be negative about someone's idea to let's do a musical about Rocky but how could you do jazz hands wearing boxing gloves argh Anya and then that scene where rocky goes in the back of the van and punches the meat that'll probably be any water yes yeah but you know you got yeah I mean but I saw in there had bits of the song it was like you better look out I'm gone who will buy my well you think it's good yeah come on man how can it be I mean I want to be positive about people's ideas for stuff but how can that be good [Music] [Applause] here's what we'll do let's keep an open mind let's keep an open mind it might add might work it's probably gonna be great we're a hundred percent behind as an idea but I'm concerned and services saloons attached to he's part of the production team yeah well not that he's not like painting the sets a baby that's painting that was my painting act in there yeah you ever seen a peanut a lick of paint brush and do that don't hire them cuz you know you don't man to do that this paints delicious I just had an idea let's do rock is a musical [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] with Craig Ferguson [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Wow like when you borrow this boat I'm doing it's broke I saw a little game of thorns last night you'll be talking about Game of Thrones yeah watching a little just the end bit last night and I thought what would he do so I thought I would do that and then this year would become as popular skin no maybe not not unless we start showing boobies like Game of Thrones [Applause] oh it looks like we're in for a magical adventure nice crowd yeah really good feet yeah I think I'd quite like to see them later yeah why don't y'all come over to our place we don't have a place I put them in a box at the end of the show tailmon it's a great day for America everybody [Applause] and it's a great day for the NBA star Jason Collins he's the first athlete and a major US sport to officially announce he's gay good Ryu Jason but he's a free agent now but I bet next season he's starting for the Utah Jazz fans what do you think his last team was the Washington Wizards no he's not the first openly gay wizard that trail was blazed by Dumbledore's remember when Tommy yeah JK Rowling that's rude it yeah they said she said Dumbledore was game people like ah I'm like he's fictional - held man he's uh he's not really fictional Jeff you're gay yeah I'm open you know Jeff's the the first openly gay robot skeleton in late-night television [Music] [Applause] now so far the reaction from fans and team minutes has to be nothing but positive but why why shouldn't it be positive Jason Collins has nothing to be ashamed of it's not like he plays for the Lakers [Applause] Oh oh come on they've gotta lose sometimes like all the time right now hey I don't really fall a basketball BAM watch that go man you see this Jeff and I were City says what were we saying Jeff we were done what will be saying earlier on I think the positive reaction to Jason's announced when it's a great sign it shows us that NBA fans are ready to embrace diversity and they really want to concentrate what unites them hating the Miami Heat [Applause] I have to say I don't understand why just said all I know is this and the audience sooner - let's all do it together everyone wait a minute I think they were doing that before IQ that's the noise they make from the warm-up comedian he's like burn did you guys the really love would I do this you guys go on right I hope if I do this you do it well creepy and disgruntled who's even gear news than this though they you know because the elke Jordan Madonna have ended their decade-long feud the hatchet was buried the Phaeton was stopped and the makeup sex was not there was no makeup sex tonight we're ending this feud makes perfect sense underneath the surface element in Madonna they have so much in common they're both old British dudes this again and even wrote Madonna one of his special tribute songs seems to me you lived your life wearing inappropriate clothes for your age [Music] oopsies adjacent : comes out and then Elton and Madonna patched things up it's a great day for the gay community is anybody else think well I'm thinking parade I can't take this negativity anymore it looked I didn't when if I go it that's going on if I go like this go hi right yeah that's right okay yeah [Applause] yeah give yourself a round of applause why not now in slightly less gay news slightly less gay news we are one step closer to commercial space travel this is what I was looking at today annalee this morning Virgin Galactic's new space plane had its first successful Tesla if you get a picture of the space plane oh stop at the real one there is super the real one the real picture look at that thing I kind of enjoyed that anyway the spaceship thing before the spaceship is deemed safe though they have to be additional test flights virgin see the next air test light may use animals that are similar to humans a dog a monkey a Kardashian just something [Applause] I think I've done I do I do any but sis yeah yeah yeah I thought I did about three jokes oh yeah yeah yeah weird jokes I did my third thing I did snap everything well what else could I do take your shirt off no see you say that but if I actually took my shirt off you'd be like oh oh Oh Craig please be sure on but it'd be too late by then you'd know the awful truth and over your weekend you're doing the Excite no just just hang it out here standing by the lectern just waiting you hang our place yeah with all of these fine people we were making bumblebee sounds it's a group of uncomfortable bumblebees [Music] you do that you do that noise right hey go go Hey [Music] [Applause] welcome back to the beating Shover tonight we're going crazy true yeah Wow [Applause] you know I feel bad wasn't it well I feel bad because I was negative about you know there's sure that hasn't even started yet I mean if you're someone you're working in rehearsals or something for the new rocky music when you come home all wearing your leg warmers and your boxing gloves and you're like I have such a de baak thing and then you combined it I'm like being all negative about the idea of a musical and you'll be like oh they're gonna eat lightning they're gonna crap thunder come on as the horse trying to Bob waitwait easy you don't have arms Oh Craig you said something that isn't true nor is feeling stop darkness feelings point I something then should do you have arms my friend No all right you're in the stable over there hands up if you go any I'm not judging him for I wasn't judging I'm saying oh you're stating a naturals first in the nation right horses of hooves hooves hooves yeah [Applause] the horse lifted one of his legs and his back end fell over I'm afraid we're gonna have to you know oh dear take a shoe oh dear thank you man I wouldn't want to be the bucket you know what it's like doing the show actually it's like the late-night equivalent of being in the back into that horse [Laughter] all right and the back end of the horse is like being prime time on NBC that's what nice is a joke that's really how you can say anything hateful you want and then just say it's a joke I'm Joe I'm doing I'm joking just joking yeah yeah mr. joke yeah you joking it's tweet mail time time to take advice from a man who's the back end of the late-night horse the emails and the tweets and the thing read those tweets come on Rocky read the tweets [Music] this is from jamming Lake George New York you ever been there oh yeah Lake George Lake George yeah that's what he called himself Jeff do you think I should get I returned to Adirondack chairs for my wraparound porch or just regular outdoor furniture oh that's the tough question yeah I think you probably get that to run dykes no you can't go wrong with the other view what do you think I don't run tags a regular chairs a lounger a Sun Lounger there you are that this is from Linda and Wisconsin none if you can tell from the photograph lenses a fine-looking woman it's a mine she says I had pineapple pieces over the weekend because you were talking about it OMG so bad pineapple great pizza great musicals great Rocky great we doin oh yeah we can only guess but I'm concerned this is from Iris in Minnetonka and Minnesota how come you never let Secretariat out to play I do come on out get back in this is from Anna in Philadelphia and do you ever been a Philadelphia [Music] anna says hi Craig and Jeff my husband criticizes my driving all the time what's the nicest way you can think of for me to tell him he's actually worse than me when he's driving I said well you know when he's driving what you do is you sit the passenger seat and when he's about to make a left turn grab him by the nuts and screens and they say make the time [Applause] he'll guess what you mean [Applause] this is from Irene in Columbia Maryland do you like a Marilyn the lovely playboy I'm do I got something there once we did you get to cramp Krabs yeah my V says my friends don't think Twitter is a big waste of time and I'll never get you to read one of my tweets would you tell them they're wrong they're not wrong I never will finally this is from Lucy in Montgomery Alabama well how do you do miss Lucy good day Lucy good day Lucy dear Greg and Jeff I feel guilty because I've been dating two different guys for eight months now and neither knows about the other one how are they after I choose what do you think I am Maury Povich what am i Jerry Springer who you like oh no who's the daddy who's the daddy hey come closer come closer I'll tell you something I don't care closer I'll tell you even more even more even more it's none of my business [Laughter] can you tell I'm wearing a wig all right I'm going to let you see what my face says now when I go to give someone a kiss it's not good hey stay there [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] my first guest tonight is an American treasure she's a beautiful actress she's smells lovely like sort of jasmine the lovely Mary McCormack everybody [Applause] [Applause] my friend Mary thank you for having me it's very nice to see you Mary I'll just take a drink from the mug that I gave him Mary gave me people are like where'd you get that I'm like Oh Mary McCormack it the people will ask you well no I think they asked you and they asked the rattlesnake Museum in Albuquerque New Mexico right where are you going thank you know just saying whether I didn't get a free mug no free moms he made me a lifetime membership Wow Wow yeah I could probably get you you can get your photograph it's a great museum and a great mug yeah it's really good thanks for it I'm good I broke the to sod yeah and I drew a penis on the bar I looked at the notes on you today right cuz they give me notes and they say hey she's up to and it said you were pregnant with another child oh god no and I was like wait I think oh no oh no yeah yeah or my husband will leave me if I have another baby he will well presumably he would have something to do with it yes yes we have three now yeah it's have a one-year-old now oh so we have three girls which you know arguably is one too many girls it's one too many anything I have two I have two kids that's crazy yeah yeah he would argue there's two too many I mean it's really I'm pushing my luck does he have a particular one that's his favorite oh no yeah no no no you can't have that you can't have favorite do you have a favorite of course no you tell them oh you don't know do you come from a big family I can't remember I have 50 first cousins I have an enormous Irish family but my I have only a brother and a sister so no well there's three of you it's a that's not a lot though partly is a look if you're the mom yes it's it's busy days it's busy days I get any sleep at all this hour I get advice he says I got some advice recently from a friend of mine who has one yeah yeah know your audience but yeah I was like a hobby one I mean that's like paper mache or neither yeah yeah it really is you know what I like I like people give you advice when they don't have an e but they're about to have one tell you how it's gonna be yeah good luck there's no rules with the third like I was all about you know no TV before they just right now I'm like a sticker I'm like watch it watch it just watch it please si si kids love that yeah our o all bets are off with the third yeah nice fight I was the third oh yes I see there you are middle of the night you be Herrmann's thing going on yeah so I'm pretty busy but I enjoy them yeah right that's great [Laughter] this is how I know I'm too busy I walked away from my car the other day and my husband said should we get the baby and I was like yeah I'm gonna get the baby of course I'm gonna get the Finke and he was like but didn't you just I think you I locked the car well at least you went back and got the baby I did get her once he pointed out right it was like I cracked the window that would be good yeah no I like when people say as well they say oh I don't have kids but I've got dogs it's not the same if they do this scroll the pictures of the dogs oh yeah or the kids really I don't want to see either yeah yeah I don't I maybe would want to see here's a good friend I want to see but for many people you just met her like oh and this well here's my favorite hold on don't you video did you video your bow no that's did anyone know whatever your kids want to see it later you know have you been burger key much I have not been back I loved Albuquerque good that Breaking Bad they've got that going on there what are you they have a great creative great crews there and it's great city I love it I'm gonna go back but I haven't been back recently just because of well I'm busy locking my baby in the car yeah I understand that what's going on then what do you might just shot a pilot which is the first episode of a new TV show and hopefully know what it is they're all hired actors and so I hope it gets picked up what is it it's it's a it's called welcome to the family and Mike O'Malley and I are married in it and we have a is it CBS you it's an NBC show now NBC's gonna going great actually said it's turning around [Applause] I don't know why I'm seen I get nothing against NBC at all I just like I really don't I've never even worked for them I just I you know I'm just an idiot yeah I think sometimes in Hollywood what it is is you you don't succeed yourself but someone else is having a bad time so that's enough it feels good you live for that yeah Germans that's the German words cuz the Germans actually had a word for them yes we even found Philosopher's have you ever been to Germany no why don't you said it like you were scared no I don't know I don't know have you yeah I have I in college I went to Germany I mean you forgot I was unlike a Eurorail I was everywhere I mean I was all of it but yes I have been to Germany but I was young and so that doesn't come right I've known you for quite a long time when do you go from being young and it doesn't come to an adult I just wanted my driveway now and I'm not kidding this is so worrying I literally get to the end of my driveway and I forget where I'm going and so I look in the back of the car for clues like I'm like is there a bag of something to my kid maybe a kid a kid is it like I don't know the left or right but something in the car might tell me you know you know I think that's getting older as well because I've noticed that sometimes when I go to introduce people that I know really well - oh really well I know these people and the minute you think what if I couldn't think of their names she'll be so horrified that minute that thought is in there there's no names yes I end up like this never get like hey surely you know each other anyway mmm so that's it I start a pilot it was really I took a year off to be with the kids after I did a TV show for five years yeah and then I took a year off to be with my children I figured that's enough yes it's going great for me and then I thought I'll do a pilot and I was so excited I didn't realize how excited I was to work they would give me like a four o'clock call time and I was like I could get three 30s maybe better or breakfast for the crew or let me just so ready let me show you how much I know what you're talking about I come here every damn day we have to take a break we're right back with Merriman [Applause] [Applause] yeah welcome back everybody [Applause] I couldn't remember what it was before we came out what you guys were saying on this I knew but I didn't know it was it high or yay and we don't say like you know I made it you guys were just there I just asked you I asked him right before he came out this look is high or what anyway I can't remember well at the end of the driveway yes I forget things I forget a lot of things art Margaret I have a Margaret I have a little Margaret Margaret and the rose and a Lillian that's old lady's bridge club you guys want to watch Peter Pan again mum's making a pilot hey listen we're out of time you was doing awkward pause or something sure I love an awkward pause oh yeah well yeah yeah you're Irish don't think I haven't had awkward pauses with Irish girls before you know you've been one of them that's right we've had our share oh yeah are we doing it it's not so awkward we were doing it it would be weird [Applause] that was like at an awkward drive-by pretty comfortable yeah I know I could see that I like you too much now you offered with you it's just a little bit awkward all right ready 1 2 3 go good can't do it now yeah t it's too much you know time has gone anyway out of my well I think you're out of time I'm tense about you being what my being canceled do you know [Applause] to tell you something I suspect that would only happen with the second guess they want to get their money's worth yeah they've never said the first get out tell me okay I'm frightened to bring out this a go I'll be alright anybody we gotta go you wanna throw frisbees at the horse sure all right [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] my next guest an extremely funny accent he stars in parks and recreation which is on Thursday nights on NBC he probably wasn't poisoned - take a look at this by [Applause] hey Jim how are ya I'm great very psyched to be here excited to be here yes yeah you mentioned someone NBC you're worried about the no no no no I I passed a couple of [ __ ] comments about India if I didn't mean it was just show business show bad you frightened me a little bit that may be the case yeah mother's maid named O'Keefe oh really no Kiran O'Keefe it goes all the way down when did you go to rehab third time is the charm [Music] no I actually haven't been yet I mean it should be let's see Boston of Chicago Chicago all right yeah good that's gotta be some cows a great time do you ever you ever go without where's that place where you get the Portillo's the hot dogs that furtillo is amazing there's also information restaurants the Sanford tells pizza cut steaks I mean just the food is unbelievable it really is I mean I I think I could put on weight if I lived in Chicago I haven't been able to people who can eat and they worry about that I can just eat even happens no I wish I had done I have to take those protein days we just eat all those calories just in powder distance just to keep the way off us keep a basic weight enough of my troubles yeah you're right what about have you ever been over to the old sod and the ancestral home and all that I have not go there's a lot guys there that would go hey are we related Lee yeah yeah I would love to just be rolling over drunk in a bar there no that's like that's know that doesn't happen anymore that's old-school no no no no it's all cellphones and then I have no interest at all I don't know why would I go no but I do know you should go but where have you been then if you haven't been to Ireland have you been to let's see Brazil no that's my two favorite places I've just made up as my favorite places I've been to Switzerland oh I've never been there I've skied the Alps what yes two things one you've been to Switzerland you ski I ski yes yeah I don't understand your confusion but I do ski I do you ski the the black diamond no no no no no it's gotta be blue I do the Blues right what that's been like kind of medium right I ended up on the black diamond sometimes I just put my big ass down and slide because you hit one of those moguls and that is the end of that and there's no stopping me once I start rolling to continue is this something that you've done your whole life scan a lot of years it's funny I haven't skied as much in the last few years that I would like to but yeah I just I've always loved it it for a big guy I'm pretty agile so I it was just something that I go into it when I was about 45 Oh way late yeah yeah yeah absolutely yeah I mean I know I'm great at it as you can imagine I could imagine no but the thing about skiing is normally that first day you hate it so much you never go back because that first day can be rough but when you always tell everybody stick that second day stick that second day here's the thing I did I actually skied once when I was 13 in Scotland and I hated it so much I didn't do it again tell us 45 that's you're proving my exam yeah you got to get through those initial bumps and Falls and everything because once you are gliding down there's just nothing like and this is how I do it yeah now and I will also see this nowadays in my day everybody your skis were supposed to be like this yeah and mine were always like this nowadays they're telling you separate the skis who's telling you people who tell me that who live in the trees next to the ski slope I don't have people in my head shut up yeah parts and Recreation show is a big hit isn't it it's fantastic 15 years we've been on 22 seasons yeah that's 22 years yeah yeah we're hoping to hear about our next season which would be season six that's good though that's the big-money season yeah really I don't know you know what always looks cool when people take a drink yeah go ahead not thirsty at all but there's something about that's good no it's one of the things you learn when you start doing a soldier you take a drink give yourself time to go what the hell am I gonna tell you you know it looks for so long and then do this as well oh okay if you see a late-night talk-show host doing this it's cuz you get none descent all right well that's it yeah we're done now listen you were raised by Irish women weren't you yes yes Oh an awkward pause will be nothing to you you'll be able to do an open pose easy an open pause awkward pause awkward pause yes yes but I like the idea of an open pause what is that nothing and I normally never have issues with your diet with your words words yeah yeah no with the your dialect yeah well it's it's one of those things up close it's kind of frightened it is its intent to yeah but an awkward pause yeah [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Antonio FergusonFan

Views: 117,411

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Id: Hrw4ALMh82E

Length: 39min 22sec (2362 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 30 2013