Titus 2:3-5 - What Godly Women Look Like

are taking a break in our study in the book of Romans to share with you a Mother's Day message today entitled what godly women look like from the book of Titus if you have a Bible you might want to open up to Titus chapter 2 verses three through five as we look at what godly women look like Paul the Apostle is writing to a young pastor by the name of Titus and Titus has a real challenging job to Pastor a church that according to chapter 1 was a little challenging to Pastor and so Paul the Apostle shares with pastor Titus how to teach the young the older women and how those older women are to teach the younger women and I thought it might be good for us today as we celebrate this wonderful Mother's Day with you to just be refreshed and what a godly woman looks like some of you may not be familiar with what that looks like maybe you're new to the church or you're a visitor here today and I just want to encourage you that you can see what God's plan is for ladies and for marriage and all those different things I don't know about you but you see I didn't grow up in the church at different points in my life I had exposure to the gospel I had exposure to church but I didn't really know what Christianity was all about and I didn't see it modeled in a day-in day-out way in in my home and and to walk with the Lord and so when I came to Christ at the age of 99 I knew nothing I didn't know how to make a marriage work I didn't know how to raise kids in the Lord I didn't know how to be the kind of worker I should be I didn't know how to be the kind of individual that I needed to be and yet God's grace started that work the good work that he began he's going to bring it to completion in Christ Jesus and so he's doing all of that work in our lives here today and as we think about this with our specific message I just want to encourage the ladies because we're going to talk me talking to ladies today that on Father's Day we'll take the other section that actually addresses men so next month a month away we'll be addressing the men and what a godly man looks like on Father's Day and so we want to jump into it follow along with me as we read here from verses 3 through five the older women likewise that they be reverent and behavior not slanderers not given to much wine teachers of good things that they admonished the young women to love their husbands to love their children to be discreet chaste homemakers good obedient to their own husband's that the Word of God may not be blasphemous that this kind of witness this kind of lifestyle in an older woman and in a younger godly woman that it really brings honor to the Lord rather than people saying they're Christians as an older woman saying they're Christians as a younger woman and then not living out the character transformation that should be taking place in the Christians life that the world kind of laughs and Snickers at hypocrisy and people that would not really honor the Lord in such a way that it would bring glory to his name so we wouldn't want from our lifestyle we don't want the world to blaspheme the Lord that it's a big joke this whole Christian life we actually want the world to stand up and say wow look at how those Christians live Wow look at their marriage Wow look at the kids they've raised Wow look at the love the joy and the peace that they have in their life and so it's a it's a great testimony to me the Christian family is the most powerful bold witness in a dark sinful world that when a family is godly when a husband treats his wife like she should be treated in a in a wife treats her husband like he should be treated and parents that raise their kids in the ways of the Lord it's just a powerful dynamic for the world to stand up and go I want what you have I wanted my marriage what you have I want to raise my kids like you do and it's this shining light well for the older ladies and let's define older ladies shall we ladies okay it says the older women likewise let's say that an older woman is somebody according to this passage they have raised their kids now you might be one of those families that you had a child a decade later you tried to chose to have another child and a decade later you know you tried to have another another child so maybe that's stretched out but ultimately it's somebody that's in their 40s or their 50s that have raised a generation of children and now they're in the role of grandparent or in the role that they can instruct younger women in the Lord because they've been there they've done that they've they've went through the sleepless nights and the diapers and the teenage years and watched their kids go on and enter into their own marriages at Tammy and I are in that phase of life where we've raised our kids our children are both married our son celebrates a six wedding anniversary this month and so we've had that empty nest for some time and we're in a place that now we're looking to the younger generation the 20-somethings and wanting to invest in them and so older women as we see in this passage are not only an example by observation but they're also instructors by verbal verbal relationship and so the older women are to do four things this is four thoughts for older women it's pretty simple it says that they'd be reverent in behavior that means they'd be spiritually respectful to God let's just call it godliness they are women that love God they're older women that have went through the adversities and trials and tribulations and difficulties of life they've seen the good the bad and the ugly of life they've seen hardships that known what hardships are in their own marital struggles and raising their own kids and financial struggles and health issues and yet through it all they've arrived at the midlife place having raised the generation of kids they love God they're not growing old and cold they're growing older and more precious in their walk with God the older they get and so the first is a reverent spiritual godliness that attracts others there's just something sweet about as it tells us in 1st Peter chapter 3 that the beauty of an incorruptible quiet spirit and a woman that is precious in the sight of the Lord well it's not only precious in the sight of the Lord but it's precious in the sight of other people sweet godly women that are older are just an incredible encouragement and scene on the other hand there's probably nothing more shocking then then knowing some older ladies that don't love God there's nothing more shocking or incongruent or inconsistent to see this this older woman standing in the grocery line with gray hair all put together you think to yourself look at this cute little older old lady and and to see her loser cool at the cash register and begin to cuss like a sailor I mean it's almost like did that just come out of her she's oh she's 7-inch she's a potty mouth oh how embarrassing if that's your grandma I mean that's the way grandma talks I mean there she uses the grocery store dropping the f-bomb how's that work I mean you're almost just like that did I just hear what I heard did I'd see what I saw did I you know what I mean there's probably nothing more inconsistent you expect that sweet you know there's a conflict and oh honey it's alright I to know I'm not in a hurry god bless you kind of a sweet disposition so as older women can I just encourage you ladies through this just take a little inventory of your own heart are you growing more spiritually enriched in your walk with the Lord at this season of life the kids are gone they're out of the house now there's months in between you seeing the grandkids and but your walk with the Lord is just this beautiful continual consistent walk of God that the godly women that they be reverent in their behavior number two not slanders it says not slanders and not given to much wine to areas that in our life that we need some self-control one with our mouth and one with the bottle okay so you're in that midlife place and you're talking to people and when you talk a long time does your your life and your verbal communication fall into the ditch of malicious gossip that you don't have anything better to talk about so let's run down the neighbors let's run down brother and sister or so and so that there's a maliciousness to your conversation that is also inconsistent with a maturing godly woman when you think about this self-control all of us have done it just by the way whether men male or female throughout the scriptures the Lord encourages reverence spiritual godliness in men and women it also encourages us not to be slanders or malicious gossip and it tells us not to be drunk so don't think even though this specific passage is talking to older women then it doesn't count for all of us men are just as bad at malicious gossip as women and and so this is just you know the Bible says don't speak only speak those things that are necessary for edification not let no corrupt speech come out of your mouth and so what you're when you talk with others if you run out of good things to say you know what your mama taught you if you don't have something good to say don't say nothing at all you know mama taught us a lot of good stuff we don't always do it but she taught us some good things some people it's funny to me that malicious malicious gossips people that this is their this is their weakness often times they're they're kind of self-righteous pompous individuals because that's one of the things that motivates their gossip as they think they're better than others and they run everybody else down and they comfort themselves that they're not a drinker and they don't do drugs and they don't steal and they have this whole list of things they don't do but they are blind to the reality of the destruction of their mouth that has no self-control I had a preacher a couple years ago say this and I really grabbed hold of it he said never miss an opportunity to shut your mouth I loved that I applied it to myself looked in the mirror Rick never miss an opportunity to shut your mouth if I if I run out of good things and edifying and positive things to say then I should just shut up at that moment so Reverend behavior self-control in our mouth so that there's not a malicious gossip and not given to much wine you know there can be that attitude that your standards lowers you get older to where okay not to be much given to much wine now the bible does not say it's a sin to have a glass of wine or to have a drink it says don't be drunk with wine because I'm saving you and I the conversation after this message okay people say you know for years I've had a glass of wine with dinner on Friday night as well that's it are you drunk no I have had a guy tell me I mow my lawn every Saturday it's like a custom I've done for 20 years I mow the lawn on Saturday and then I have a beer afterwards and I say are you drunk he says no so well the Bible doesn't say it's a sin to drink it says it's a sin to be drunk so this is someone who has crossed the line and now the family knows in it and we have people in our family that they drink too much and they do it consistently and every night they're drunk and and it's kind of heartbreaking it's kind of heartbreaking as a matter of fact there's there's one home that I kind of have just kind of an unwritten rule never call after 5 o'clock because after 5 o'clock the households drunk that's kind of heartbreaking and it surely doesn't promote a attitude that there's a godliness in the home because they've lost self-control in this area of addiction just like somebody that runs off at the mouth all the time and talks bad about others they've lost self-control and how they run people down well fourthly older women are to be teachers of good things they're not only be a good example which the first three things indicate but they're to be a great communicator to a younger generation that this is what godliness looks like you see the Christian life is as much caught as taught you need to see a good example and then you need to hear the instruction it's twofold as it's not one or the other it's not just a good example or it's not just instruction it's know it's people that are walking the talk that they are this is who they are and then they can communicate it to others so ladies what are you dispensing to others and it was tragic over the years I've watched younger women in the Lord have an unsaved mother that constantly downloads all of her worldly advice to divert divorce this no-good bum of a husband that she has because this mom's went through four divorces or whatever and and watching the world dispenses knowledge that they think is correct but godly people also to need to be dispensers of good and wholesome things that will be a blessing of the next generation now verse four through five talks to the younger women these are the ladies that you still have kids at home and it says admonish the word admonish is a strong word it's it's a force forward that to admonish the young women to do two things number one and to love their husbands and love their children every now and then you'll hear a statement like this Bible teachers will make you know I've never in the Bible it never tells wives to love their husbands because they do it it says to submit to him and respect well this is the one passage it does tell a wife to love their husbands so that's not true it's not an accurate statement but number two they're to love their children older women should be examples of how they love their husbands and they should be example how they love their grown children and their grandkids and so for the younger generation of women they need to be encouraged hey love your husband what does your husband need what your children need sometimes we think that the opposite of love is hate it's not and manifests itself in that way but it's not the opposite of love is selfishness what ruins marriage is was what ruins a husband and wife relationship selfishness what causes children to grow up in an unhealthy atmosphere the selfishness of the parents the neglect or whatever it might be and so older women need to teach younger women love your husband love him like nobody's business now this is a thing that wherever my treasure is Jesus taught us that our heart will follow ladies if your treasure is in the Lord then your heart will follow that you'll be a godly woman if your treasure is in your husband your hearts going to follow that you're going to be contributing in a dynamic way to that marriage if your treasure is in your children your hearts going to follow that but if it's somewhere else then your relationship with God your relationship with your husband and your relationship with your children will suffer so older women communicating to younger women love your husband's model it and display it and share it with the younger generation sometimes in marriages as I shared with you that the opposite of love is selfishness I'll share with single people if you want to know how selfish you are get married you're gonna figure out real quick uh it's funny to me I knew this guy that was a single guy and he went around giving advice to married people and parents and I just looked at him somewhat I was so dumbfounded I couldn't even talk to him about it I was I was just looking at like you are clueless and brainless you because he knew some Bible verses because he actually was a student of the Bible he was telling people how to married folks how to do it but he only had theoretical knowledge he was telling parents how they should raise their kids but he only had uh you know theoretically didn't have experience all knowledge so there's challenges you'd find out how selfish are when you get married then I share with married people if you want to know how doubly selfish you are now have kids because now they consume everything they consume your time your energy your money your food your life they suck you dry but it's a joy all the way thread okay so uh so younger ladies to be and they need that encouragement hey love your husband love your husband you might adopt a prayer that my mom my wife picked up years ago and she she began to pray lord help me be the wife that Rick needs it was so inspiring because it really began to affect our relationship in such a healthy positive way and when I asked her about it I said hey what's up what's the what's different she said well I've just been praying that I would be the wife that you need and so I in turn began to pray that I would be the husband that she needed and so you see it's reciprocating its it's what we need in each other and so to love your husbands to love their children younger women need to be encouraged that to love your kids it's it's the greatest investment ladies that you will have to invest in your husband and to invest in your children you say well where's career line up with that recent study just came out last month maybe you saw it recent study 80% of women in the workplace which they could stay home with their kids 80% that means there's 20% ladies that are really driven by their career and ain't you know that's how they're driven that's that's great but how do you manage that I tell men your career should not be important more important than your walk with God or your wife or your kids because I promise you your job is not going to love you when you're in the hospital bed at the age of 70 ready to die your wife's gonna be there your kids are going to be there your grandkids are going to be there build relationally don't build I mean don't get me wrong I'm a hard worker so I work hard but there's a priority in God's Word and so ladies if you put your work above your your relationship with God your relationship with your husband and your relationship with your children that also goes for a man same thing you're going to be sadly disappointed at the end of life and you will have been investing and all the wrong things that mean something and matter and hopefully you're young enough to take that advice and run with it so they're to love the children mom's like nobody I mean I just think I'm in awe of Mom's first of all they want to get pregnant they want to do that to themselves first of all and then they get his maternal longing and instinct and then they they get pregnant and they're mourning sick my wife was a morning sick off the bat she had to carry around a little saltine crackers so she could eat one you know with the morning sickness and all that stuff but you almost you think you did this you know you wanted this you wanted to be I wanted to be mourning sick and not to stand the sight of eggs in the morning then your body begins to be contorted and distorted and a little child begins to punch you out make you a punching bag on the inside your emotions go off the chart and and in all of a sudden you're well-acquainted with bathrooms because he's sitting right on your Balor bladder and all you do is go back and forth to the bathroom and then he begins to scar your body the stretch marks begin to come in all along like I am pregnant so excited and then the greatest pain that a human can experience is now going to come up on you and many of you have done it over and over and over to yourselves there's nothing as selfless and sacrificial as putting your body through it and after three or four kids here but you look at your body go look what they did to me Hey look what they did to me my body's not the same body that I had when I was 20 years old this is something amazing is happening but it's all worth it because here's this boy here's this girl and now it's it's after I said all that the work hasn't even started yet now the sleepless nights now that the kids you you hold them to love them they spit up on you you they stink up your air with their dirty diaper they they just they're non-stop service to them when they're hungry they yell at you when their belly hurts they yell at you when they're teething they yell at you hey yeah yeah yeah and it wasn't isn't he precious isn't he wonderful isn't she precious isn't that you they have actually done studies that that moms that the more that they gush over their babies and even into adulthood they actually moms that do this it releases a chemical that stimulates the same part of the brain that people that are on a cocaine high experience this explain when I read this study this explained everything when my wife is with her children she hugs them and she embraces them and just it's she gets this look she gets this glow we call it the mama glow in our family and she's just it's almost like she's hi the chicks hi she's with her kids they're grown their marriages is like this is so wonderful just pinch me is this real you know it's an amazing thing so I asked you know it says in Proverbs the number of things it says that in Proverbs that a man that has this godly woman that her value is more precious than rubies she's more valuable than gemstones then his heart can safely trust in her I can totally safely trust in Tim doesn't matter if it's a checkbook or its money or it's what our needs are or whatever it might be I can totally trust her and that's such a great feeling to be able to trust her the Bible says that that a man in proverbs 31 will rise up and call his wife blessed so this is a day in which I get a rise up and call my wife blessed what a blessing she is to me it says that the man of a godly woman will be known in the city gates that that an awesome oil wife at that old phrase that behind every great man is a great woman is so true I'm known in the city gates right not the city actually Walmart that's where I'm known Walmart Winco the restaurant wherever I go TV all this stuff and people come up and they greet me and pastor Rick I watch on TV or I come to the church or I've been coming for two months or whatever it is and I'm known but the same is not true of my my my wife but my recognition what you what people don't know and this is an opportunity to tell you I would not be Who I am today without her hands down she makes me a better person she has made me a better person and her influence in my life has made me and obviously the Lord doing what he's doing in His grace but relationally what my wife has done in my life has made me the person that I am today she began to whip me into shape today she married me all of a sudden you know I should say those shoes those shoes don't go with that I'm like we've dated for years you never you never cared about my shoes that shirt doesn't go with that what he's going to do with your hair well I thought I was I was I thought I was good to go all of a sudden I got remodeled and you have to understand that tamanna I remember the first time that I saw Tammy she was in 6th grade and her friend Carly tried in the fifth grade they were 5/7 which was huge 5/7 fifth graders both of her her and Carlene and I walked by her when she was in sixth grade I was in the eighth grade I was with my friend Ken Eagles ton and I walked by and I looked at Ken and I looked at Tammy and her friend Carly and I said look at those Amazon girls those girls are huge I wasn't five seven at the time I was probably five four or something like that and but that was the first time I remembered seeing Tammy and then we went on a first date I was finally had grown to five seven so we were five seven and five seven on our first date and so from our first date we this Friday we'll have been married 27 years but we went together four years before that so we've been together over 40 years and not only we seen each other grow up and grown up with each other but we also went through the bet good the bad and ugly you see Tammy was a good girl and she was a cop's daughter I was a bad boy and in trouble with the cops that makes a very complex combination of things Tammy was a good girl in a cop's daughter till she started dating me and then she became a bad girl because of me but I redeemed it because as soon as I got saved at the age of 19 she was a it was the summer before her senior year she was the first person I led to Christ so we were bad together and then we got saved together and now we've walked with the Lord for 29 years almost 30 years and so in that transformation we have seen our lives changed and I'm better with Timmy than without and that's what the Bible says in Genesis said as the Lord looked at Adam and he said it's not good for him to be alone I'm gonna make a companion comparable to him and that's what I needed Tamm and I joke we were just even joking last week that that I have Tam trained just the way I want her I don't want to start over with another model don't want to trade her in you know and start all over and Tim says the same thing about me I'm trained she trained me right off the bat six months in how to find a laundry basket I didn't know how to do that she helped me out so the Bible says that the husband will rise up and call his wife blessing by the way a couple of years ago what chant people don't know about my wife because she's you know this cute little blonde very feminine but Tammy grew up as a cowgirl I was a bull rider Tammy was a barrel racer a calf roper go tine pole bending all those things and Tammy's a tough a kind of you know rural girl growing up and fighter Idaho so a couple of years ago I said hey honey what do you want to do for Mother's Day and so she said I want to go shoot now that's not your average response from women for Mother's Day right so she said let's go shoot and so we dragged out all the guns from the the closet knock the dust off got some shotgun shells we have pistols in 22s and we went down to sportsmen and got a hand throwing clay pigeon thrower we went up with the family up into the foothills and had our favorite family sandwich which was a croissant chicken salad with just awesome and guns pickups and sound I mean it doesn't get any better for rednecks that grew up in Fire Idaho just earlier I thought I'd share with you guys a picture there we are that's it that's the day that's the serious where the gunslingers now we got the happy one there we go all right okay so that that's a you know a Mother's Day thing for us and that's what Tammy wanted to do and that was what it was a blessing to her heart and you couldn't really pick it up but she had the momma glows you I with my husband with my kids I'm high yeah kind of thing so I asked our children the Bible says the children will rise up and call her blessed so I called my daughter yesterday and say hey honey right off the top of your head quick just only a few seconds tell me what what's a blessing about mom and she just gave me three things she said number one my mom is the most encouraging apart from her husband we have to make that distinction because we've been thrown out of the bus since the husband showed up but but she said my mom is the most encouraging person in my life number two my mom is the most helpful person in my life I can call her about anything and mom will drop anything and come help me number three mom is the safest confidant that I've had until I had my husband I could tell and share my heart about anything with my mom and I knew it would never leave that conversation I would never leave that room so I called my son and I said hey give me a couple of thoughts how's mom awesome and he said well number one and the kids don't have to hesitate in these things that well number one mom loves us kids with an unconditional intense love and you'd have to understand Tami's intensity and love for her kids to understand what he's saying an unconditional intense love number two he said which flows out of that love is that mom would sacrifice anything she would give up anything at any second anytime and Jess and I know it to be with us to build relationship with us to help us to be there and I thought what an incredible testimony of the kids rising up and calling my wife lesson you see Tammy loves her husband she loves her children she's godly she's an example to younger women that that's what you do and she also dispenses that information and says that what's important a couple of other character qualities in verse five says to be discreet which is number three chase number four homemakers number five good number six those four just for the sake of time to kind of whip drum because we're running short on time is that discreet discretion I never I never wonder about Tam and doing or saying the right thing at the right place at the right time doing the right thing but cousin her maturity and her walk with God especially as a pastor's wife and some of the complicated situations she finds herself in she just has great discretion and it's it's godliness that comes with knowing God's word and prayer and the fruit of the Spirit of self-control so she's just discrete and and younger women sometimes need to understand that that discretion that the right thing at the right time at the right place also chase that means sexually pure don't kid yourself just as this passage was written 2,000 years ago there's always opportunity for sexual temptation it's in the workplace it's down at the grocery store it's at the soccer field it's even in church the opportunity to be unfaithful or even be wandering in your heart in your mind towards a man comparing your husband with others and just thinking yourself oh he you know women that only focus on the wrong things in their husband's life usually with marital counseling I try to see couples that I want you to tell me what you love about them and they'll give you a list they have a list they just never refer to it they only focus on what's wrong I say hey why don't you focus on what's right and for the next two weeks why don't you pray and just thank God for all the things that your husband before rides and he's a great dad and I mean he's handy around the house or whatever those qualities are find those and meditate on those and because there's going to be some guy that comes into your life you young ladies need to know this he's gonna be attractive and he's gonna be flattering since oh your hair looks like ooh you smell nice oh look at you and you might be married to that guy that said I love you 25 years ago at the wedding and he hasn't had said it since you asked him why have you told me you love me I said it 25 years ago at her wedding if I change my mind I'll let you know so the world has this sad idea and this is the sad idea of the world there's three rings of marriage there's the engagement ring there's the wedding ring and then they're suffering that's the way the world looks at marriage but that's not true this Friday as I said Tam and I will celebrate 27 years we're more in love where we're more intimate and in every dimension spiritually and emotionally and physically than we've ever been in our whole entire life because of God's grace jesus's first miracle was at a wedding you remember that in John chapter 2 the wedding of Cana and at the end of that the master the banquet said something very insightful and I don't think the point is only physical he told the the bridegroom or the the bridegroom he said most people bring out the good wine and then when everybody's drunk they bring out the cheap wine that's basic my mom was a bartender for years that's how it works so you bring out the good stuff when people's tastebuds and brains or blitz then they bring out the cheap stuff because their taste buds and their brains don't know any more about it and he said but what you have done is you have saved the best till now and the picture is is that if Jesus is in your marriage he can take something as ordinary as water and he can make it as something as beautiful as the finest wine ever known to planet Earth and he's going to make it better with time not worse people think that the high point of their life is the wedding day the engagement and the euphoria that goes with that and then it's a downhill slide we say the honeymoons over but actually in the Christian life I discovered that my wedding day I didn't know what love was I had no clue oh yeah and it's just increasingly with the Lord Jesus in the middle of our marriage gotten better and the best way to keep a marriage pure as far as fidelity goes is to have I guess the best defense is a good offense have a great marriage so when you're tempted with things outside of that it really has no pull on you because it's hard to tempt a guy with a garbage can full of food behind a restaurant when he's got prime rib right so you know you emphasize that also homemakers wives bring the domestic chip to the home everything that makes a home a home I have no but domestic chip I was born without one I I don't care about I can live in a closet I don't care if the the walls are white or some pretty color I don't care what the smell is I don't care what the furniture is I can live anywhere I'm just I'm just like a hound dog I can just live anywhere I have no real appreciation for those things in the early years but now after all these years of marriage Tammi is totally ruined me because Tammi is domestic extraordinaire our home is this comfortable place it always is it doesn't matter what the address is and what the house looks like inside of our home there's this orderliness and and the pictures on the wall and the the color the the the paint and the smell and and all of those different things that she brings to the home everything's in order Tammy keeps a home like over the years we've flipped home so realtor's would come in and they'd go oh is this one of those model homes you know where people set it up for display no we live here they look around they look in the closet nobody can live like this as well we look live like this for a long time isn't this way everybody does it I don't know any different I mean it smells good it looks good everything has its place it's all organized and orderly and I just Wow every now and then I'll go to a single guy's house and I'm like oh you poor dude you need a woman in your life bad you're like whoa you know there's stack of clothes and this and that so I have no domestic ship but after all these years I love the smell and the feel and the orderliness now if things are discombobulated and disorganized though that's the way I live before I get married obviously I've been married for 27 years I got married at age of 21 so I've been married a lot longer than I've lived B without being married and and I'm just so enamored I'll of it I love that dynamic and because that's what white brings the word good means totally useful and purpose so a wife that loves her husband loves her children has discretion is sexually pure in faithfulness to her husband is a great domestic help mate she's just good and I got a good wife the Bible says that he who finds a wife has found a good thing that's a great nickname hey good thing you found a a good thing okay and so that's who she is and lastly the seventh thought that Pastor Titus shares with the older women to share with the younger women is obedient to their own husband's now that flies really well in the face of political correctness doesn't it right so obedient to their own husband it simply means to be submissive to the leadership of your husband God has called the husband to be the leader in the home it doesn't mean he's smarter it doesn't mean he's more able it's not about a superiority or inferiority it's just for organization and order God as a God of order he loves order and so it tells us in 1st Corinthians chapter 1 that God the Father is the head of the son who is the head of man who is the head of woman God has a flow of authority just for organization if two generals are trying to plan a battle tactic for the same battlefield they're going to have a disaster somebody needs to be the leader and so now the Bible gets a bad rap usually from some jerk that calls himself a Christian that basically demonstrates this attitude me dictator you doormat you know kind of attitude and that's not what Christianity is about as a matter of fact the Bible says that a husband is to love his wife like Christ loved the church and gave himself for her meaning that my love for Tammy is to be a sacrificial laying down of my life in love and service to her and that makes it easy than to submit and yield to my leadership if you don't have that dynamic you have a struggle you really have a struggle so let me just ask you ladies older or younger do you allow because you must allow it you can fight kick and scream every decision cancer about finances where you live the job that I mean you can the discipline for the kids you can be combative and confront your husband with absolutely every decision he tries to make you can you'll ruin your marriage that way but you can do it but if you honor him makes it easier if he's doing his part which is part is the lay his life down in love and kindness and tenderness towards you but if you will yield to his leadership you're going to have this beautiful experience called marriage you know Tam and I've been working on this for 27 years so we've been trying to figure it out all these years and years ago Tammy told me just in her own walk with God she says you know I've been reading in the scriptures and it tells us that your role is the leader and I need to submit to you so I want you to know I'm just in my own devotions I've prayed I've checked this out because we didn't I mean in early 20s we didn't know anything about Christianity so we're forgetting all out for the first time and she looked at me she said I I want you to know that I'm going to be submissive to you and she said I want you to know it's not because you're a brilliant leader because wife's tell it like it is she said but because I love Jesus and Jesus has asked me to do this I'm gonna do I'm gonna submit to you because I love him and I'm like Holly I don't care how it happens but it'd be cool if it happened right because I don't want the combativeness or the conflict so this is the way it works everything we do i Tam and i dialogue about we don't make decisions without talking to town big I mean little this stuff but major stuff we talk about the Bible says share the truths in love and I'll say hey I've been thinking about this fill in the blank what are you thinking sometimes she'll give me the advice and I'll go wow that was a dumb idea she's got great plan I just dismissed the idea I want you to know that our relationship I have a lot of access to a lot of people that I could get advice and wisdom from BarNone Tammy is always my first choice for wisdom and counsel always she is smart she is intelligent she is godly she is spiritual she is she's she has the my best interest in mind the children's best interests in mind our finances our future Bar None I want to hear about what my hot wife had to say so with that openness telling the truth and love doesn't mean that there's no dialogue so as we dialogue about those things but then at the end we dialogue we've prayed maybe for a week or two it's time for the decision and Tammy hands me the decision this way she says well honey you know I know we've talked a lot about this and I've shared my thoughts and you've had your thoughts and I just want you to know that I love you and so I respect your leadership and whatever your decision you make that's great with me because all I'm accountable to do is to submit to your leadership and that's what I'm doing therefore I know I have the smile of Jesus now you need to discover as you do this and make this decision if that's what God wants because that's what you have to give an account for and it's funny it always rocks me back on my Hills line hmm it really makes me ponder if I want to make this decision she's given it to me on a silver platter what should I do hmm and what happens is it freezing you have to make the best decision possible through prayer let me tell you the opposite if Tammy fights me on something and is combative at every turn the stubborn leader in me will I mean I could be into mud up to here in a no it's the worst decision on the world and it's gonna really hurt I don't care you want to you want to struggle for leadership I'm just gonna do a stupid thing now that's the dumbest thing you ever heard right but that's what you call a pig headed husband that knows he's called to be a leader but his wife won't lead so he's going to be stupid stupid if you're if your husband has a bad case of the stupids you might want to ask yourself who's driving him to be stupid is it you you know arguing with him all time or if you're laid-back granted some guys can be stupid all on their own they didn't need any help from you but understand this think about this I know husbands and wives that can't even get in a car and drive 15 minutes across town without the wife driving the whole time in the passenger seat poor guy he's been driving for 35 years he's got the steering wheel he's got the gearshift he's got the accelerator he's got the brake maybe even a clutch if he's got a manual he knows where he's going they're going to Walmart on the west side in a matter of fact there's a thousand parking lots that are parking spaces but don't you know when he gets there his wife tells him exactly the spot she wants him to park him and all the way there no one you're too close a toll you cut them off and she's grabbing it she's telling him where to park and what to do and how to get there I have a friend that early in their marriage his wife was really bad at this and so they'd only been married about six months and he said after about 15 minutes of her telling me how to drive across town I pulled over the car in the parking lot she said what are you doing he didn't answer he just got out he opened the door and he went around and he opened her door and she said what are you doing we need to get there he said obviously you want to drive she said no I don't I'm content over here in the passenger seat driving for you from here he said that's what I mean he said we're new in this marriage thing and I'm not gonna put up with 60 years of this he said therefore I'm gonna pull over anytime you want to do this I'm just gonna pull over open the door and I'm gonna let you out you want the steering wheel you want the gearshift you want I'm gonna let you have it here here you go she goes no I I'll be good they said really he said I'm gonna let you drive you want to drive you want to drive this thing no really really honestly I'm gonna be good there's only five minutes till we get there I think I can handle it that is a picture about every decision with the checkbook that is a picture of every decision with the kids that it is a decision with everything a struggle and a fight for the steering wheel of your marriage and I want you to know ladies just if your husband's driving scares you pray for him okay just pray for him and if worse comes to worse you both got airbags so it's all good just just pray for him all right so being obedient to your own husband's being yielded to their leadership now having said that as we wrap it up this morning for this Mother's Day I know that there's some people here that um this is a tough Mother's Day for you that's a tough Mother's Day if some of you are here and you have your estranged from your son or your daughter maybe I haven't talked in weeks or months maybe you're not as strange they love you with all their heart but they just can't be here today it's really hard for you some of you moms have that devastating and I don't even know how to process it because I've never lived it and Tammy and I neither one of us have but you've lost a son or a daughter and Mother's Day is a painful day for you understand that some of you your your son or daughters in prison they're in jail strung out on drugs or alcoholic I'm in your heart so heavy today I find it fascinating that as Jesus ministered that Jesus's mom when she was dedicating Jesus in the temple that described by the name was Simeon prophesied over her and he told her that a sword would pierce through her own soul through the death of her son and if you fast forward then 33 years there's Jesus hanging on a cross think of this moms moms if you can just gonna get in these sandals for a moment I'm Mary her son Jesus Christ was hanging naked nailed to a cross beaten his face beyond all recognition and she is a mom's heart moms can you even think about your boy and him being nailed to that cross and you sitting at the foot of that cross and hearing the words of Simeon from over thirty years before saying even a sword is gonna pierce through your own soul in that moment Jesus only spoke seven phrases from the cross but one of them would probably I guess one of the best mothersday texts of all time he looked at his mother Mary hanging on the cross and he cared about her in that moment and he basically said mom behold your new son John the Apostle and then he said to John John behold Your Mother from the cross and naked humiliation and brokenness Jesus was concerned about his mama he said John I want you to take care of my mom and he asked his mom mom would you let John love you like I would love you but I can't be here anymore to do it let someone else love you the way I would want to love you and I know that there are some of you here today you're at the opposite end of the spectrum this is the first Mother's Day without your mom first Mother's Day without your mom and your hearts heavy Jesus said he come to heal the brokenhearted isn't that awesome we need his healing in our broken hearts let's pray father we thank you for your incredible love I want to pray right now for those broken hearts Lord Jesus you know Lord you modeled it for us with your own mother Mary and I just pray that you would meet them in this moment with the tears and the emotional anguish that might be there so we're just an attitude of Prayer right now I want to especially pray for you and your heavy heart would you just stand wherever you're at in the room if if you're a mom that find yourself and really needing Jesus is touching comfort today because of maybe a situation in your family I just want you to stand right where you're at we're going to pray for you and if you're here today and today is a hard day because you miss your mom I want you to stand up - god bless you ladies all over the room others as well anybody else before we pray for you we just want to pray for God's comfort and God's ministry to your heart let's pray right now father thank you for these hearts that have stood up and by faith they've just said lord I need your touch you are the father of mercies you are the God of all comfort and the comfort with which you comfort them I pray that they would be able to comfort others lord I know that there's a room full of moms here that are just filled with the joy of the Lord it's going to be a special day for them and thank you that you not only Lord sorrow may last for the night but joy comes in the morning I pray that those who have stood up that joy would come in the morning that you would be with them even now and we pray for your grace to comfort their hearts in Jesus name Amen

Channel: Pastor Rick Brown

Views: 114,119

Rating: 4.7331138 out of 5

Keywords: Titus. What Godly Women look like, Titus, Titus 2, pastor rick brown, rick brown, tammy brown, healed and set free, women, godly women

Id: cfBMoJJjdUU

Length: 49min 55sec (2995 seconds)

Published: Tue May 14 2013