Anger Management, God's Way - Summer on the Mount #3 | Jonathan Pokluda

man it's good to be with you guys I was uh I was in the back in the green room and and the you know Jason and Jackie in the band or piped in there so I can only hear them and it was interesting because I came out this door right back here a few minutes ago as we were saying that last song it's who you are and all I could hear was you guys and it was incredible I wish you could have heard it and just this in tremendous choir made up of thousands of young adults praising the Creator the heavens the earth and so may I know life's crazy and I'm so proud of you just for being here I'm so proud of you for want to know God more I know there's so many distractions in Dallas and Fort Worth and all over our cities and just that you're here I got here a few moments ago and got the last spot I waited in traffic first of all like like many of you and I was like oh no this is not God didn't think about traffic and and then and then got the last spot in this parking lot over here and it was just humbling thing to walk in here and to watch a movement of God and to see a perspective that I don't have every week and so thank you guys I'm so proud of you for just the way that you give of yourself and you're open to knowing God more I'll start here what is with a question where we're headed summer on the Mount in this series what do people do when they see an explosion I heard run run yeah like when you've seen this you probably like what I've never seen an explosion there was that kaboom town thing but no you know whenever whenever we see something blow up or whenever you're watching a movie and they see something blow up you kind of see everybody you know turns and runs then they're knocked over by the force or somebody else bomb you know and everybody takes off we see this anytime there's an explosion everybody runs away from that explosion which is why a year ago dear friend of mine Cheryl Boyd dear partner in ministry showed me this video that I found curious and actually showed it to you about a year ago we're committed to teaching the topic that we're going to cover tonight at least every year because what I think it's the sink one of the single greatest needs in the room and Jesus is covering it as he moves to the Sermon on the Mount and so when people see an explosion they run from that explosion but when my friend showed me this video I saw something curious now I want you to watch this video but I want you to pay close attention to the last thing the man says when he comes back up and they're interviewing him I want you to listen closely to what he says watch this pumping gas in Harrison New York last week and then this out of nowhere a car flies in crashing into the pump and immediately starting a massive fire the man at the pump New York State Police senior investigator John Vecchio escaping the scene just in the nick of time the impact was very sudden it was very quick take a look again within two seconds the car hits the pump Falls and the fire erupts it actually went to look up and and see what was going on and next thing I know the pump was coming down on top of me now watch has more drama unfolds veccio who that first started away runs back after spotting the 70 year old driver who'd crashed the car after suffering a diabetic shock and now could not move he was not responsive um I found when I got to the car he was pretty much helpless veccio struggles to get him out of the car finally dragging him out by his shirt only to return to the fiery scene to get a first-aid kit from his car and there wasn't a moment to spare take a look seconds later a ball of fire consumes the car both men miraculously out of the danger zone I think John did a very heroic thing I think he starts off as a civilian he becomes a victim and then his police training kicks in and he actually saved somebody's life he said he became a victim and then his training kicked in and one thing that is said that I disagree with is said both men miraculously free from the danger it wasn't it wasn't miraculously it was due to one guy being trained in a situation to run toward an explosion and drag those who are going to be hurt by that explosion out of the situation and so tonight the topic that Jesus is going to cover is anger and I'm equated a ger with explosions because let me tell you something my life much of my life has been marked by this topic of anger in explosive ways and I wasn't the solution to the explosions I was the cause of these explosions and this looked like friendships that went south you know all of the sudden my words would get out of control I would escalate to an explosion and those friendships would end I mean there are people that I no longer talk to because they won't talk to me because the way that I treated them when I look back with the people that I still to this day effort to reconcile with true story there are relationships girls that I've dated that ended because of my terrible terrible anger okay there are there were times I could think back of in competitions or like playing basketball and all of the sudden you know blocking somebody out in the key turns to a fistfight you're like how did we get here it is because of this topic of anger and I had no idea I wasn't trained in being the solution well the other day my wife and I my wife Monica and I went on a date it's about three weeks ago had a sitter come watch the kids got in excited to go see a movie where my truck we're driving down a rapaho and you know just going the speed limit same lane and this car turned left into a parking lot right in front of me there's a car to my right a car to my left I have nowhere to go I slam on the brakes and slowly hit them we pull into the parking lot I didn't anticipate being in a wreck that day and just like man just happened you know you just got everything happened to slow motion on have you been in a wreck your worlds kind of spin you're like what just happened I get out of the car to talk to the young lady that was driving she's on her phone of course she was and um and she's erratic honestly like she's going crazy and she just is like I can't believe oh man I can't believe this guy he just came out of nowhere I'm like well what really nowhere it was kind of came from Hillcrest you know and uh and I was like eh you know could we could we talk and she's she's looking straight at me and I'm like this and she's like I can't believe this MF he just came out of them I'm like whoa okay and uh and so I i call 9-1-1 and they're like does she have insurance I'm like um excuse me not trying to interrupt your phone call but do you have insurance she's like this is my boyfriend's car this is my boyfriend's car who does you I go at 911 say it's her boyfriend's car so the 9-1-1 person does her boyfriend have insurance does your boyfriend have insurance so we kind of together go through the glovebox find the insurance card get that i call from the situation she's still on the phone and I called the insurance company right away I'm sitting there you know both of our vehicles pretty badly damaged and I'm on the phone with the insurance company and I'm explaining to them what happened and now about 25 minutes have gone by and the boyfriend gets there now if she was acting crazy he was that times 10 and so I knew he was there because I kept hearing MF if you will very loud he walking around the car and he's like oh this MF you know I can't believe oh man and he kind of buries his head in his hands and he's shaking and I'm on the phone you know with his insurance company and so he comes up to the window and he goes like that put his hands over his mouth and he goes get the F out of the core I'm like I was on the speaker like with this it's like do you hear that I got to go and so there's the deal for most of my life this would have ended in one of two ways right fight or flight I would have Flair would have said man I don't want to deal with that like that at there's an explosion outside my car right now I don't want to get burned if you will and so I'm going or somebody needs to teach this guy a lesson and I think the Lord and sovereignty just elected me and you know and so it's it was one of those two things in a lot of you like if you were sitting there like you got to think then what would you do because a lot of you will be like man I have no idea what to do what I don't know what I would do in that situation now I just don't know what I would do and you know the Bible tells us what to do in that situation took a deep breath said a prayer Galla carcinoma he continues with the exploitive tells me that I'm going to tell the officer that he was driving the vehicle so I just can't do that man I said in fact before we move any further I just need to tell you that that your words hurt me what you said in front of my wife a second ago that wasn't cool and I'd like to talk this out with you and you kind of looked at me and kind of goes I'm sorry and I said as I hate me had no problem let's work this out you know and then we did and we proceeded to talk through the details I kind of talked them off that cliff I asked them both if they had a faith I engaged them I told them about a god that I believe in that I can trust in I told them they could trust in the same God if they knew him they said that they did I said well then you know well what is a relationship with him if we can't trust him in situations like this and we talked through the situation but I tell you that because for most of my life that would have turned out very poorly because I wasn't trained in how to handle conflict but now as I've understood the Scriptures it gives us some real practical advice in how to handle conflict so tonight we're talking about responding to anger and you might think well I don't really get angry you know I mean that that hadn't happened to me I haven't been in a car wreck and so I don't you know tonight's going to be lost on me at which we were talking about something else well let me just run through some scenarios three or four in front of you just to make sure that's true one is I don't know if you've ever sat or called you need help with your cell phone and you get the press 1 for this press 2 for this and I'm like I just want to talk talk to somebody talk to somebody and they're like do too high call volumes right now your call will be answered in the order that it was received which is evidently number six thousand seven hundred ninety-two and you sit there on hold for 42 minutes only to talk to someone who doesn't speak your language very well and they are incompetent in the issue of what you have and they begin to troubleshoot with all the things you've already did yes I've already turned it off and on yes yes I have no you want to do it okay I've done that though right so I don't know if that makes you angry maybe not and so you know I don't know if you've ever been at a stoplight that turns green but because it takes you in total of five seconds to remove your hand your foot rather from the brake to the gas someone lays on the horn behind you I don't know what is so offensive about a halt but it is just offensive I mean it just infuriates me or this happened last week to mean you get takeout and you get home and they forgot your burger just me huh a traffic man like how do you ever do this like you just sit in parked on a freeway and you're like this is so simple people like if we just all drive 70 miles an hour you know like who is the person in the front that decided to park their car in the middle of the freeway like why would we do that and then you drive up and you know it's an elderly person you're just like somebody should take your license away you know and I don't I don't know what that is but but I don't know how Jesus would have handled that situation but I'm confident different than I do right there's just something in me that Wells up and so we're moving through this series right and we're talking about the things that Jesus addressed in the most famous sermon of all time and tonight he's going to say some crazy things about anger in fact right some of you were just even uncomfortable with the things I said and so what if Jesus stood up here and he said hey if you ever get angry you're probably going to go to hell what if what if I said that what if I came out here and I said hey hey guys good to be you're welcome reports have you ever been angry probably going to hell like when you'll be like man this dude's lost his mind he's crazy tonight Jesus is going to say that that that's almost verbatim what he says now there's an interpretive challenge there that we're going to have to explain and bring to the light and understand better and so that's what's before us but he talked that he says hey you getting angry really really really matters to God and so when in this series summer on the Mount where Jesus covers you know if you went home and you read the Sermon on the Mount it would take you about 15 minutes to read it beginning to end he covers law missions adultery lust love hate judgment marriage divorce enemies the poor prayer anxiety materialism heaven and hell and much more in 15 minutes tonight we're just going to take this topic of anger Matthew 5 verse 21 we're going to look at a change in perspective apart to own and a path to pursue verse 21 you've heard that it was said to the people long ago you shall not murder and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment but I tell you that anyone who Oh because if we're cuz I'm like man who hadn't murdered anybody so I'm good but then I tell you anyone who is angry with the brother or sister will be subject to judgment again anyone who says to a brother or sister raka which just means worthless which is just using your words to make someone feel undervalued or hurt is answerable to the court and anyone who says you fool will be in danger of the fire of hell jr. Jesus Christ on the earth said you call someone a fool you're going to be in danger of hell now how do we reconcile that with the gospel I mean that those are Jesus's words Jesus said that what is he saying there Jesus is talking about a response to anger he's not just talking about you even acting out on it he's talking about what your thoughts are you feeling the emotion you giving into the emotion you turning that emotion into words and so being a Christian means restraining our response to anger and yielding it to God's Spirit and I think that many of us we see anger as an opportunity or we see conflict as an opportunity to display our anger when really it's a very very different opportunity it's an opportunity to display the one we worship conflict is an opportunity to bring our anger under the spirits control and so my first point is a perspective to change he says it's not just acting out of anger it's entertaining the thought of anger it's driving down the road and letting that that kind of will continue to turn you taking a shower the person's not even there but you're talking to them and you're ahead you're getting all frustrated Rayden these are the things that Jesus is talking about and he compares it to murder which seems to be crazy like if we didn't have these words and I just got here and I said hey you getting angry at traffic is the same as you takin a 9-millimeter and taking someone's life Mike you guys would be like that's crazy but that's what Jesus says and in Leviticus 27 this is Levitical law verse 17 he says anyone who takes the life of a human being is to be put to death Jesus is saying that if you get angry you deserve to die how could he say that why is he saying that at this section in the sermon why would he put this in front of the Pharisees and the Sadducees and his disciples he's like he's going to lose all credibility right up top and he's telling them that their heart is messed up he's saying hey your heart is messed up even if no one sees it God sees it like some of you you're here and you're like yeah but I don't really get angry right like let me just show you a picture of angry Andrew and Suzie's sunday-school here and so there's angry Andrew and you're like yeah of course of course you know he's angry like he might fight in the UFC or something like he's yeah he's angry you know he may do something crazy but look at her though I mean she's she's got it all together she's carrying her Bible on her way to Sunday school I mean she loves Jesus and her dad's a pastor and everything is amazing in her world but let me but we can't see her thoughts like what if we could see her thoughts oh oh and Jesus says you're just as bad as he is Jesus says Suzie Sunday school you're the same you see none of you are off the hook no one here is off the hook you've all had those thoughts you have all said you full to someone at least in your mind to God's creation and he says you're susceptible to death the death penalty and so anger is an opportunity to respond in the flesh or to respond in the spirit which is worship see some of the greatest opportunities for Christ followers Christians believers to display their faith is situations of conflict people tell me all the time see see conflict is not a bad thing that's the change in perspective that you have to have right now conflict is not bad people tell me all the time like man we have a great relationship we don't we don't fight we don't have conflict you don't have a relationship it's not a real relationship they're like oh yeah we have a great relationship we've never even had an argument I'm like have y'all talked you know I mean do you do you know each other what is what does that mean alright I mean how can you have a relationship and not have conflict with someone because God made us we're all we are all now as God put us here and after the fall because of our own choice because of our own decisions now we we live in this broken world and relationships are frankly marked by conflicts healthy relationships are marked by conflict unresolved conflict marks the lives of unhealthy people let me say that again healthy relationships are marked by conflict but unresolved conflict marks the lives of unhealthy people okay now I'm not saying that you should stay in that relationship where you fight all the time you probably should not because the fact that you fight all the time might mean in reality that you haven't learned how to resolve conflict but it is an opportunity to display your faith Ephesians 4:3 says make every effort your Bible might say be diligent work hard at keeping the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace this is something that we work really really hard at hard conversations are not fun but they are not optional either let me say that again hard conversations are not fun but they are not optional either 80% of what I do on staff at watermark Community Church is resolve conflict 80% you might be like wow that's really dysfunctional 80% of what I do is working through conflict which means a hundred percent of what I do is discipleship because when we do this the right way it displays who we worship it displays who we belong to it displays who we love it displays who we're controlled by and so when you feel angry that is just a warning light it's the way that you respond to that angry that shows who you're controlled by the other day we're driving through driving in Monica suburban my wife suburban and the check engine light comes on which is never fun right you just because I don't know but but when that light comes on I have some options right I can ignore it I just be like I you know it's probably a sensor or something and that doesn't go well I can over react to it I'd be like what check engine light comes on leave your car right here listen we're going to go buy a new one let's go you know we'll give this thing away piece of trash no right right I can over react to it or I can work really hard to find out what it is which costs money and time but it's the right thing to do and so your anger is the same way when you feel angry you can ignore it you can try to press it down okay you can overreact you can explode or you can put in the work to find out what's really going on when someone feels anger towards you right you can overreact you can ignore it or you can put in the work hey we got to talk hey come here look at me we got to talk let's talk and I know you don't want to I know you're so mad at me but I really want to understand why and this is not natural to us it is not natural to many of you in the room that is the most scary thing that could possibly you want me to talk to someone when I hate them yes yes I do I want you to look them in the eyes and I want you to work really really hard at resolving the conflict because it displays the Spirit of God at work in your life and so what does it look like to respond in the spirit verse 23 therefore if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you leave your gift there in front of the altar first go and be reconciled to them then come and offer your gift did you hear what God just said to you he says don't don't come to me and seek forgiveness from me don't bring a forgiveness offering to me before you sought forgiveness from them don't come to me and worship me he says I'm prioritizing I'm prioritizing horizontal relationships over this vertical relationship and if you have broken horizontal relationships then you have a broken vertical a vertical relationship and you need to go and reconcile those you know what this means like you're hearing like wow Jason and Jackie Castro was singing and got to stop stop worshiping me you need to go and be reconciled to that brother to that sister to that mom to that dad's that roommate to that friend to that boyfriend girlfriend ex-boyfriend ex-girlfriend co-worker boss stop worshiping me and go and be reconciled to them this is serious like Jesus is saying that some of you frankly need to leave like pretend you're going to the bathroom or something and go and get on Southwest calm and buy a plane ticket or American Airlines comment and you need to go home and you need to sit in front of someone you need to make it right that's what he's saying he says hey you're carrying something that I don't want you carrying I want you to go and make it right in the second point this evening is a part to own what is the part that you need to own in as simply as I can say it yours on your part you have a part in the conflict if you are part of the conflict you have a part in the conflict let me say that again if you are a part of the conflict you have a part in the conflict now be very very very careful because anger does something weird to us it makes us very blind we cannot see our part in the conflict whenever we feel angry we can only see their part of the conflict this is why Jesus says don't judge the speck in their eye you're walking around with the 2x4 sticking out of yours right because when you feel angry you cannot see your part in the conflict now I'm going to tell you a story that really paints the picture of what I'm talking about there was a young man who was marked who it was a friend of mine Pastor Dan Shepherd this young man and his life was marked by anger and bitterness and if any of you met him you would know why and you would get it you would like I understand it and I don't even hold that against you the reason his life was marked by anger and bitterness is because his father beat him nearly every day of his life okay this is what it looked like his dad would get drunk and his dad would beat his mom he would hide behind the stove and one day his dad found his hiding spot which means he stopped beating mom and began to beat him and that's what marked that was his lot in life as a four year old as a five year old as a six year old as a seven year old as the eight year old on until he was an adult every week of his life his father beat him and so someone came into his life and begin to share Jesus and he said I get forgiveness but there's no way I can forgive that man and as my friend was talking to him my friend just said what do you have any part in the conflict and he said what don't you understand my dad beat me nearly every day of my life because I get that does you look back is there anything that you can own like if we're looking at a hundred percent of the conflict is there anything that you could own and he said yeah I mean of course I was disrespectful of course I ran from him of course I said terrible things I've hated him for over a decade he said what do you think you could own that 2% do you think you could own 100% of that 2% it sounds like your dad's at 98 percent fault like this is all him but you've got 2% do you think you could go to him and own a hundred percent of your two percent and the Spirit of God moved in that man's life and he went to his father he drove home and this his father was poor in health and he said dad I want to ask your forgiveness for the way that I've hated you I want to ask your forgiveness for the things I've said about you I want to ask your forgiveness for the ways that I was disrespectful to you and he didn't even say because what's the terrible things you did you just said I want to own a hundred percent of my part which is only two percent but a hundred percent of my part you know what the dad did broke down in tears fell to his knees and trusted Christ right there and turned and asked his forgiveness too didn't even know how but you said he was sorry over and over and over and over and over and over and and that's what God is going for here if you can own a hundred percent of your one percent your 0.5 percent but you have if you are a part of the conflict you have a part in the conflict no one understand know and understand your part in the conflict right like who is it like we see we see the explosion we see the heat we see the fire we want to run who runs towards the fire SWAT team and bomb squad FBI people who are trained to deal with it when everyone else is running away we are those crazy crazy people that say no we know the one true God were running in and we're going to make this right we're going to disarm this situation we've been trained to do so and so understand if you're angry right resist the urge to have the come the conversations in your head resist the urge to gossip and talk to other people don't assume you know why they did that or why they're doing what they did you know when I saw that guy drive into that gas pump I was like man this idiot drunk right he's drunk that's why he did it like I just assumed I knew why he drove into that gas but no no no he had a diabetic you went into diabetic shock it's a 70 year old man right don't assume anything you don't know what's going on in their lives you don't know the road their walked you don't know why they're angry you don't you don't have the full picture go and seek to understand if you have something to own the challenge is to find it and not just to find it but to find it quickly Jesus speaks towards eagerness Ephesians 4:26 says in your anger do not sin do not let the Sun go down while you're still angry go Ingres and I'm gonna give you some powerful words you ready will you forgive me not I'm sorry right did you say hey I'm sorry they could say you are sorry you're right you're sorry you're sorry person you're sorry individual you go and you say will you forgive me these are the words Christ gave us will you forgive me not will you forgive me but not will you forgive me and but will you forgive me for will you forgive me for what I've done not will you forgive me but you did a bunch of things you know not will you forgive me for the ways I let you hurt me don't be strategic will you forgive me for and own a hundred percent of your two percent what does this look like you know so I left that situation with my car and thought we had it resolved I explained to the boyfriend hey bro my wife and I were driving down the road when your girlfriend turned in front of me like in oncoming traffic I mean it says you know he was like it doesn't really matter whose fault it is I was like it kind of matters whose fault it is it's called the deductible and and so I left thinking we had the understanding but then they filed a claim with my insurance man that's confusing you know and then their insurance was very difficult to work with and then I got in a rental truck that which I'm still in today and and they called and they said hey we just wanna let you know your rental expires we feel like it's taking you too long to fix your your truck and I'm like you know I've been emailing you every day asking you this very question and you haven't responded to me and I'm feeling all these things that I'm hating this woman frankly in my arms so frustrated in am on vacation by the way I'm on vacation with my family and I get this car I'm out of town and they said hey your rental you need to return your rental car today it expires I'm just what and I feel like just crazy praise God for my wife she kind of talks about this cliff and so I call this woman Alexandra will you forgive me will you forgive me for being impatient with you will you forgive me for repeatedly emailing you I'm sure that's frustrating I'm sure you've got a lot of things going on and will you forgive me for and we were able to work it out but sometimes you're not sometimes it does not go well okay you have to trust God you do not judge obedience by the outcome you judge obedience by obedience do not judge obedience by what happens or how it turns out or you don't look back and say well that turned out well it must have done the right thing sometimes you do the right thing and it turns out really really bad and God makes sense of it in heaven but you be obedient let's go verse 25 settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court do it while you are still in the way or your adversary may hand you over to the judge and the judge may hand you over to the officer and you may be thrown into prison truly I tell you you will not get out until you have paid the last penny okay this is weird to me like Jesus is saying these things he's like hey here's the deal you know if you if you if you've been angry it's like murder leave your gift at the altar run and be reconciled to your brother and if you're angry you might go to hell and by the way let me give you some legal advice and I'm just like what like what is he doing here is like and by the way if you're ever on your way to court you know this is how you want to handle that conversation what is Jesus saying here he's saying to resolve conflict is costly to not resolve conflict is more costly to resolve conflict is hard and difficult and you might get burned but if you do not resolve the conflict you will always get burned and when we're on the way to court what are we thinking about right we're thinking about winning we're thinking about winning he says I want you to stop thinking about winning and I want you to start thinking about what you can do to resolve the conflict how you can pursue peace in the conflict because here's the deal and I want you to write this down tweet it out tell everyone person who seeks to win in conflict always loses the person who seeks to win in conflict always always loses that person never wins they may get the upper hand you may feel good for two seconds but then you realize you lost a friend then you realize you ruined your witness then you realize you did not respond according to the spirit that you said that that you have and so I'm calling you to be the bigger person Jesus is calling you to be the bigger person to seek reconciliation and not to wait on them not to sit anything well if they call me then maybe I will no no you called them you show up on their doorstep you knock you say I'm here I want to I want to make this right I'm going to work this out my third point and final point is a path to pursue here's the path worthy of pursuit okay and what is that path it's the path of peace pursue the path of peace and some of you are like wait a minute I should I do this in every situation every time I'm angry like should I go and sit down and have the conversation no the scripture says overlook a small offense okay and so it's a specifically proverbs 19 verse 11 a person's wisdom yields patience is to one's glory to overlook a small offense or to overlook an offense and so let me let me ask you this you say well how do I know if I should overlook it or not how do I know if I should overlook it or have the conversation is simple ready if you can overlook it you should if you don't overlook it you need to have the conversation what does that mean make it more practical if you're driving down the road and you're having angry conversations with them in your head you have not overlooked it you got to have the conversation okay if you're sitting there and you continue to think about it you haven't overlooked it if you don't think about it anymore you've overlooked it you won't have to worry that the overlooking part kind of happens naturally but if you haven't overlooked it if you continue to think about you don't go to a friend as I think I just got a vet this situation too you know you only talk up to people who are a part of the conflict a part of the problem or part of the solution okay you don't vet to other people you don't say hey let me just get this off my chest hey can I just tell you if I let me ask you if I should go to them let me just get your advice don't don't turn your prayer requests into gossip hey can we just pray for David Marvin I mean he just you know he really did some terrible things to me and I just think we should prayed for him so that's gossip okay some of you were praying for David that's appreciate that this is epic yeah he's appreciate City listen that's gossip you you talked to only talk to people who are part of the problem or part of the solution and you want to know what's best doing at the same time if you can bring them all together guys God tell you something cuz I can see you out there right now like I'm up here and I'm looking at you I see you Fort Worth - you're looking at me like I'm crazy like this is what the scripture calls you - I'm serious I have seen this process change like I have gone to Africa to train their government in the very things that I'm talking to you I've seen this change nation's true story we went to Rwanda after the genocide and talked about these very things because I'm not kidding Christ is not kidding you're the number one determiner in success in a marriage is the ability to resolve conflict the number one determiner of success in a marriage is the ability to resolve conflict this will make you a better employee employer friend roommate son daughter brother sister uncle anything if you can do this like it's discipleship if you can learn this and you can teach it to others you sit down in a small group and you teach them this it is worthy of your time this will truly change your lives I'm not kidding you do this relentlessly you hold on to it fast don't let anything change this if you can overlook a small offense overlook it if you can't and have the conversation and be wise in the way you act word outsider some of you are like what do I do this with non-believers sure just don't expect them to respond well they're pagans it's their job description they shouldn't respond well they should yell at you they should call you MF I mean they should they should swing at you that's what they should do they're controlled by some other spirit so share the gospel and walk this process out of obedience and it may respond really really poorly be wise in the way you act toward outsiders the scripture says conflict is an opportunity to show who's you are I love the way that Jesus gives the Sermon on the Mount because he gives the application right up front he says in the Beatitudes right and so check this out I want to show you some Matthew 5 verse 9 he says this this is in the same sermon he says blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God do you see that the goal is just not the goal is not to get angry the goal is not not to get angry sorry double negatives always throws me off the goal is that you would be a peacemaker that you would make peace that you would be able to resolve these situations and he says that's who is his children of God those people are children of God like I have I'm tall I'm six foot seven inches tall okay I have a son he's two and a half years old but because he's my son at two-and-a-half he's about six feet tall I mean he's really really tall you know and he just kind of yeah he's just tall he looks like me he's crazy tall he looks like he's six years old and and why because he has my DNA he has my genes Jesus is saying if you're God's children you look like God right when my children at terrible like we're in public and they're like just acting crazy I'm always like whose kids are these like somebody needs to make this right right but here's the I know why they act that way I see my daughter's angry some anger sometimes and I know where she gets it from because she's my child but you're a child of God and so you look like a child of God in the way you resolve conflict that's what Jesus is saying here blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called God's children and God's children make peace and be cautious of people who are entertained by conflict like I had a buddy that would always just kind of be oh he said what did you hear what he said like always trying to turn him people against each other you know he didn't know Christ and so of course he's going to do that but be cautious about those people I wouldn't hang out with those people if I were you I mean hang out with him to share the gospel but not for any other reason some of you are those people perceive a caution go back and read the words of Christ here in Matthew 5 okay be careful the piece is powerful let me just talk to the men for a second before we wrap up men any boy can turn his anger to throw-in fists I've got a two and a half year old and when he gets upset he pushes people any child can do that but it takes a man to bring your emotions your childish emotions under the control of the Spirit of God and respond in peace that takes a grown man and ladies you you grow up in a culture where it's cool to be sassy and feisty and have attitude it's not cool in God's kingdom it might be cool in Dallas it might be cool in Fort Worth it's not cool in God's kingdom okay that does not show that you're a child of the creator of the heavens of the earth okay and so Jesus says whenever your anger angry it's like murder and Remora and murder requires the payment of a life now we don't resolve this in this little snippet of a sermon but we know the bigger picture is that Jesus gave his life Jesus gave his life for your anger Jesus gave his life so that you can be reconciled to the Father Jesus gave his life so that you don't have to be angry and so in summary a new perspective is to see conflict as an opportunity to show who you belong to and this starts with you owning your part be eager to own your part and to overlook a small offense if you can and the path that you are to pursue is the path of peace and I've seen incredible peace be brought about when people do this I've seen roommates reconciled I've seen wives who have been cheated on by their husbands reconcile with the mistress I've seen crazy things happen when people live this out things that the world says your god how do you do this but after I give this sermon the first time someone came up with what about righteous anger in their time we're supposed to get angry anger is an emotion right anger is a natural emotion it's what you do with that anger and how you target that anger and what is the end result of what you do with that anger that God cares about I am I think the thing that makes us the most angry if I was to put one word on it it's injustice like anytime we feel like we've been treated unfairly or we've been slighted or taken advantage of I had a truck and it had it had been in the hailstorm so it had all these hail dents on it and I bought it like that because I like deals and it was a deal and so also because I like deals I go on Craigslist I find this paintless dent repair company and so these guys come over to my house to fix these hail dents in my truck and and they're there it's four brothers and they're like they're real kind honestly like they were super nice and shook my hand we got to know each other and we were talking and I got to share the gospel like hey do you have a faith and they asked me a lot of good questions I mean he was like what about dinosaurs and were they in the Bible and I was like let's talk about that some of you are like what about dinosaurs and so we'll be up here love to talk to you and so we were talking through like his as he wrestled with faith and and he put this red stuff on all the dents and they worked on my truck for a couple hours and he came in and he was at all mister precluded listen man I have great news you know your truck was repaired and everything looks great and we're gonna paint the bumper tomorrow and so we'll be back in the morning and he's like hey what time will you be here you know will you be here at 9:00 a.m. that's we really like to get started early on I'm not sure and he goes I'd like for you to pay you know for the the dents today but you could pay for the bumper tomorrow and so and I'm like okay that's you know totally understand so we go to the ATM together I give him 800 bucks for the to remove the dents overall my truck and which is just a ton of money by the way to me and and they leave and and so the next day comes around 9:00 a.m. comes and excited about getting my bumper painted and then 10 a.m. comes in 11 a.m. so I call them and I'm like hello you know hey this is Jonathan you know you're gonna come and fix my bumper and I hear dial tone well that's weird maybe he actually hung up call him again hey you're come back and fix my bumper and no one answers I leave message leave another message leave another message call 3 days later someone answered hey Jonathan hang up again I'm like uh-oh well I still have this red stuff on my truck right over all the dents that they fixed and so I go get my truck washed to remove the red stuff to see how they had fixed the dent they didn't fix the dance they didn't do anything they just stole a hundred bucks from me and then I was so angry I'm a believer I'm a follower of Jesus Christ but I was so mad because they were good frankly I mean they had took advantage of me okay we got to know each other I trusted these men I cared for them I prayed for them and now I'm in this situation where I know they deliberately stole from me and so I went there just like my mind runs towards revenge I'm like I'm thinking about how I'm going to call from another person's phone and hey I've got dents in my car and I'm gonna meet up with my boys in a tire iron and we're about to do work you know like this and I'm not I'm not even kidding like honestly I'm embarrassed to tell you those were the thoughts ago I'm thinking how can I get even like I'm smart enough to get even with these guys I'm so I got a buddy that can find them I've got their phone number I go have their address like I can get to these guys I can get back and I can get my $800 and I and all of this stuff was happening in my heart I wasn't even fully aware of it and then a guy in my community goes man how you doing what do you mean how am i doing I'm angry she goes can we read Matthew five no and he goes because he goes Jonathan goes why are you angry and I said because they took him they took $800 from me this is a real closet you don't understand it's a real cost to me the next day I go and we deposited a check and so I go on my checking account and there's an additional $800 there and my buddy who I told this to and he saw my anger he just went and paid me 800 bucks and I call him so why would you do that I said oh that's crazy so why would you do that he was bro it's not worth your anger it's not worth you compromising your relationship with Christ because those guys took advantage of you they don't know god of course they did that's what they should do because but I it's worth I would pay eight thousand dollars so that you don't have to be angry and that's what Christ is saying he said I'll give my life so that you don't have to be angry he said people are going to hurt you don't trust people trust God people are going to hurt you do you know you're going to leave here people going to hurt they're going to outright take advantage of you you don't have to layover right but you respond appropriately in the spirit okay if you don't know how to do that in a situation you widen the circle and you bring others in you talk to people who are part of the solution and a part of the problem and you pursue the path of peace let me pray that you would and father you tell us in Romans 12 verse 18 that if it is possible as far as it depends on us to live at peace with everyone or we're wrestling because our hearts are wicked right now we're wrestling whether wait a minute when do we do or we do we always do them when is it appropriate to lash out when is it appropriate to respond to that hurt and so father I pray that you would help us to understand what your spirit desires in these situations God for some of us tonight as we sit here where the tape is playing of others who have heard us or others we've heard and I pray that we would leave our gift at the altar and we would run and be reconciled to our brother and sister father I thank you for your word and how it never returns void how it stirs our affections for you it gives us a glimpse into your character and how you love us that you would give your life so that we're not angry so that we can be with you forever in a place of peace in Christ's name Amen

Channel: The Porch

Views: 70,531

Rating: 4.8636065 out of 5

Keywords: God (Deity), the porch, watermark, summer, mount, anger, angry, anger help, anger problems, Anger Management (Medical Treatment)

Id: qzXbJwhti6M

Length: 50min 18sec (3018 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 16 2015