LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST
GUEST IS AN EMMY AWARD-WINNING ACTRESS AND COMEDIAN YOU KNOW
FROM "GIRLS TRIP," "THE CARMICHAEL SHOW," AND "THE LAST
O.G." SHE NOW STARS IN "THE KITCHEN." PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE
SHOW," OUR FRIEND, TIFFANY HADDISH! ♪ ♪ ♪<i>
( APPLAUSE )</i> ♪ ♪ ♪<i>
( APPLAUSE )</i> >> Stephen: I WISH EVERY--
THAT'S LOVELY. >> A 30-MINUTE DANCE PARTY. DON'T PLAY WITH ME. >> Stephen: I WISHIVE
INTERVIEW STARTED THAT WAY. >> RIGHT. >> Stephen: NICE TO SEE THE
YOU AGAIN. >> NICE TO SEE YOU. >> Stephen: HOW HAVE YOU BEEN
DOING? >> I'VE BEEN SUCCESSFUL. >> Stephen: YES, I HAVE-- I
HAVE NOTICED. CONGRATULATIONS ON THAT. >> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: IT'S LOVELY TO
WATCH YOU BE SUCCESSFUL. HOW IS THE LOVE LIFE? HOW IS THE WEIGHTED BLANKET
GOING? WE TALKED ABOUT YOUR
RELATIONSHIP TO A WEIGHTED BLANKET. >> SO ME-- OKAY, SO WHAT
HAPPENED WAS-- OKAY, SO I STILL HAVE THE WEIGHTED BLANKET. >> Stephen: SURE. >> AND I'VE BEEN TALK WAIG LOT
OF PEOPLE. I'VE BEEN GETTING RELATIONSHIP
ADVICE SINCE THE LAST TIME I WAS HERE. >> Stephen: SURE. >> AND JOHN MAYER HAS BEEN
GIVING ME RELATIONSHIP ADVICE. >> Stephen: HE'S HAD A FEW
RELATIONSHIPS. >> YES, YES. AND HE SAID IF THERE'S SOMEBODY
I LIKE WHO IS IN THE EYE OF THE PUBLIC, I SHOULD, WHEN I'M DOING
INTERVIEWS, SAYING I'M SEEING THAT PERSON AND THE MEDIA WILL
DO A SIDE-BY-SIDE OF US, AND THE GUY WILL SEE IT, AND HE'LL BE
LIKE, "SHE'S KIND OF CUTE. I'M NOT HOOKING UP WITH HER, BUT
I COULD BE HOOKING UP WITH HER." AND THEN THERE WILL BE SOME KIND
OF INTERACTION. LIKE, THE WORLD WILL KNOW THAT I
LIKE THIS PERSON. I WILL KNOW I LIKE THIS PERSON,
AND IT WILL BE IN HIS SUBCONSCIOUS, AND IT WILL
ATTRACT ME TO HIM. >> Stephen: THAT IS GOOD. WAIT, THAT'S ACTUAL ADVICE? >> THAT'S ACTUAL --
>> Stephen: THAT'S ADVICE FROM JOHN MAYER? >> THAT'S ACTUAL ADVICE FROM
JOHN MAYER. >> Stephen: WOW. I UNDERSTAND THAT THERE'S
SOMEBODY WHO IS IN THE PUBLIC EYE, A FAMOUS PERSON, WHO HAS
GOT YOUR EYE. >> UH-HUH. >> Stephen: AND WOULD YOU CARE
TO CASUALLY DROP THEIR NAME? WHO-- WHO HAVE YOU BEEN SEEING
THESE DAYS? >> OH, I'VE BEEN SEEING NUMBER
27 FROM THE NEW YORK YACKS. >> SteYANKEES.>> WHAT'S HIS NAME
>> JOHN CARLOS. I'VE BEEN SEEING HIM. >> Stephen: AND I'VE SEEN
PICTURES OF THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER "THE LATE SHOW." THE TWO OF YOU. THEY RAN-- THAT'S A PICTURE--
YEAH. >> I'VE BEEN SEEING HIM AT BABE
GAMES. AND I'VE BEEN SEEING HIM ON
INSTAGRAM. AND I'VE BEEN SEEING HIM ON
TWITTER. I'VE BEEN SEEING HIM IN MY
DREAMS A LOT. >> Stephen: WOW. WELL, THERE IT IS. I MEAN, THAT PROVES IT. MY GRAPHICS DEPARTMENT COULD
HAVE COULDN'T HAVE PUT THIS TOGETHER IF YOU WEREN'T AN ITEM
AT THIS POINT. >> WE'RE TOGETHER. >> Stephen: RIGHT. <i> ( APPLAUSE ).</i> >> Stephen: HE IS, NUMBER 27,
HE IS 6'4", 250 POUNDS. >> YES! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! SOMEBODY TO BURP ME! I JUST WANT HIM TO PICK ME UP
AND JUST GO LIKE THIS, IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY, TIFFANY. SHHH! >> Stephen: I BELIEVE THAT'S
WHAT THEY CALL A WEIGHTED BLANKET. >> HE COULD BE MY-- I MEAN, HE
IS MY WEIGHT THE BLANK GILLETTE GOT TO PUT IT OUT THERE. JUST WAIT FOR THE CALL. >> I'M WAITING. >> Stephen: NOW, YOU FLEW TO
NEW YORK-- <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
KEEP BREATHING. KEEP BREATHING. KEEP BREATHING. <i> ( LAUGHTER )
( LAUGHTER )</i> <i> ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i>
>> Stephen: YOU'RE GOING TO GET A LOT OF PHONE CALLS. >> YES! >> Stephen: NOW, I KNEW YOU
FLEW IN-- THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. YOU FLEW INTO NEW YORK JUST THIS
MORNING. >> YES. >> Stephen: FLYING IS NO
STRANGE THING FOR YOU. I UNDERSTAND YOU USED TO BE--
YOU USED TO WORK FOR AIR ALASKA. >> I WORKED FOR ALASKA AIRLINE
S. >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU DO
FOR THEM JIEFS A CUSTOMER SERVICE AGENT. I LIKE TO THINK OF MYSELF AS ONE
OF THE BEST CUSTOMER SERVICE AGENT S. >> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU DO? >> I WORKED AT THE GATES. AND MY GOAL WAS TO BRING
HAPPINESS AND JOY TO PEOPLE, LIKE TODAY, STILL, TO THIS DAY. WE WOULD HAVE A FLIGHT DELAYED
TO MEXICO OR SOMETHING, RIGHT, AND IT WOULD BE THREE, FOUR-HOUR
DELAY, AND PEOPLE HAVE BAD ATTITUDES AND OKAY, WE CAN BOARD
NOW. AND I GET ON THE MICROPHONE AND
BE LIKE, "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SERVICE TOULOSE CABOS, MEXICO,
FLIGHT 236 IS NOW BOARDING. WE WOULD LIKE TO INVITE FIRST
GLASS. M.V.P. GOLD PASSENGERS TO BOARD. IF YOU HAVE COME, PLEASE, COME
ON BOARD. IT'S TIME TO GO TO MEXICO!"
>> Stephen: I WOULD LOVE THAT. I WOULD LOVE THAT. >> AND EVERYBODY WOULD BE LIKE,
"YEAH! ." >> Stephen: AFTER A DELAY THAT
WOULD BRING YOU UP FOR IT. >> AND I WOULD GET WRITTEN UP. >> Stephen: WHY WOULD YOU BE
WRITTEN UP? >> YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GIVE
ANNOUNCEMENTS THAT INCITE THE BOARDING AREA THEY'D GET ALL
HAPPY, "YEAH, ALL RIGHT!" >> Stephen: AND THEY'D WRITE
YOU UP AND SAY DON'T BE THAT PROFESSIONAL. >> YOU HAVE TO DO, LASK OORLS
WITH SERVICE TO LOS CARBOSE, MEXICO SBOARDING." THAT'S HOW THEY WANT YOU TO DO
IT. BUT NOT ME YOU. >> Stephen: KEPT DOING IT? >> AND THEN THEY PUT ME IN THE
BAGGAGE DEPARTMENT. THEY PUT ME IN THE LOST BAGGAGE
-- >> Stephen: THOSE ARE UNHAPPY
PEOPLE. >> THOSE PEOPLE ARE SUPER --
>> Stephen: I HAVE BEEN THAT UNHAPPY PERSON. >> AND MY GOAL EVERY DAY WAS
THEY PUT ME HERE I GOT THIS. ANYBODY WHO WALKS OUT OF MY DOOR
IS GOING TO LEAVE HAPPY, PERIOD. >> Stephen: CAN I TRY THAT? >> OKAY. >> Stephen: I'LL BE LOST
LUGGAGE GUY. >> OKAY. >> Stephen:
( SIZE ( HI. >> HELLO, HI. >> Stephen: I'M STEPHEN. >> HI, STEPHEN! >> Stephen: I JUST CAME IN ON
A FLIGHT FROM CHICAGO, MY WIFE-- AND WE HAVE OUR KIDS' BAGS, BUT
ME AND MY WIFE OUR BAGS AREN'T-- THEY'RE NOT ON THE CAR SOL. WHAT DO I DO? >> YOU CHECKED THE CAROUSEL? >> I DID. >> WHAT KIND IS IT, A, THERE'S
24, 26, 27? WHAT KIND OF BAG IS IT? WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE? IS YOUR NAME TAG TO. >> Stephen: IT DID HAVE MY
NAME TAG, A PAPER NAME TAG FROM YOU GUYS, A CARRY-OLIKE 24
INCHES. >> IS IT HEAVY OR VERY LIGHT. >> Stephen: MEDIUM, MEDIUM. >> MEDIUM? OKAY. AND YOU SAID YOU CHECKED THE
CAROUSEL. CAROUSEL NUMBER 2. >> Stephen: TWO? >> YOU'RE NOT SURE! I'LL BE RIGHT BACK! THERE WAS NO BAGS ON CAROUSEL
NUMBER 2. OKAY. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
DO YOU HAVE AN ADDRESS? I'M GOING TO FIND THIS --
>> Stephen: I DO LIVE SOMEPLACE. I DO LIVE SOMEPLACE. I'M NOT HOMELESS? >> DO YOU HAVE YOUR BAG TAG
NUMBERS. >> Stephen: WE HAVE THEM RIGHT
HERE. >> I'M GOING TO RUN YOUR TAGS. SEE, BACK THEN, WE DIDN'T HAVE
THE SCANNERS. THIS WAS THE 1900s. SO... <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
OKAY, YOU CAME IN FROM SEATTLE? >> Stephen: CHICAGO, CHICAGO. >> CHICAGO? >> Stephen: MY BAG'S IN
SEATTLE NOW? >> YOUR BAG'S IN SEATTLE. YOUR BAG IS IN SEATTLE! DARN IT! ANOTHER LOOK, THIS IS WHAT I'M
GOING TO DO. GIVE ME YOUR ADDRESS, I'LL BRING
THE BAG TO YOU. I'LL GET IT SHIPPED TO YOU. HOLD ON ONE SECOND. I'M CALLING SEATTLE. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
>> Stephen: REALLY? YEAH? >> CAROL, HEY, GIRL, IT'S TITT. WHAT YOU DOING? CHECK THIS OUT. CHECK THIS OUT. GIRL, ONE OF THE BAGS THAT WAS
SUPPOSED TO COME FROM CHICAGO TO LOS ANGELES WENT
CHICAGO-SEATTLE. YOU CAN GEET YES. WHEN IS THE NEXT FLIGHT? TWO HOURS. OKAY. LET ME GET YOU TAG NUMBERS. 34737. OKAY. YEAH! THANKS! YEAH! FROM THE TV SHOW. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
OKAY. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, THEN, OKAY, OKAY,
BYE. OKAY, SO YOUR BAG IS GOING TO BE
HERE NEXT WEEK. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: I WANT TO LOSE MY BAG NOW. THIS IS DANGEROUS. THIS IS WHY IT'S DANGEROUS. THIS IS WHY THEY CAN'T HAVE YOU
DOING THIS BECAUSE PEOPLE WOULD WANT THEIR BAGS LOST AND THEY
WOULD WANT THEIR FLIGHT DELAYS DLAID. DOWNED HOW DANGEROUS THIS IS? >> YOU KNOW WHAT'S CRAZY? IT GOT TO THE POINT PEOPLE WOULD
COME IN JUST TO SAY HI TO ME. THEY WOULD FLY AND COME IN AND
SAY, "HEY, TITT. HOW YOU DOING? WHAT'S GOING ON?"
I'M LIKE, "MAN, I GOT A COMEDY SHOW COMING UP. DO YOU WANT A TICKET?"
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE A MOVIE COMING OUT NOW. >> YES. >> Stephen: YOU HAVE "THE
KITCHEN." WHO IS IN THIS. YOU. >> MELISSA McCARTHY, ELISABETH
MOSS. >> Stephen: AND WHAT IS IT
ABOUT? WHAT IS THE KITCHEN? <i> ( APPLAUSE ).</i> >> SO THE KITCHEN IS ABOUT THREE
WOMEN THAT'S MARRIED TO THESE IRISH MOBSTERS, RIGHT. AND THEN THEIR HUSBANDS GO TO
JAIL, AND THE WOMEN END UP TAKING OVER THE IRISH MAFIA IN
NEW YORK, 1978, IN HELL'S KITCHEN. <i> ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i>
IT'S NOT A COMEDY. >> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP. WE HAVE A CLIP RIGHT HERE. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP
RIGHT HERE. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE-- I MEAN,
YOU'RE HILARIOUS. I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU NOT, YOU
KNOW-- TO BE STRAIGHT. >> I'M VERY STRAIGHT. >> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND. >> I WANT NUMBER 27 FROM THE NEW
YORK YANKEES. >> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND, I
UNDERSTAND. >> I WANT HIM TO BURP ME. >> Stephen: YOU CAN TELL ME
WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THIS CLIP? DO YOU KNOW? >> IN THIS CLIP, MY HUSBAND GETS
OUT OF JAIL, RIGHT, AND HE THINKS THAT HE CAN JUST COME
HOME AND GET HIS LITTLE BUSINESS BACK. BUT TURNS OUT, I DON'T PLAY
THAT. <i> ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i> >> ALONG COMES THIS WHITE BOY
THAT'S SO DUMB HE DOESN'T REALIZE HE'S SITTING ON TOP OF
AN EMPIRE IF HE'D GET OUT OF HIS OWN WAY. YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN KEEP THE APARTMENT. I DON'T EVEN NEED IT. >> YOU GOTTA STAY OUT OF MY WAY,
STEP OFF MY BUSINESS. >> BABY, IT'S MY BUSINESS NOW. >> IT'S A HOT TICKET. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. >> THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> Stephen: "THE KITCHEN" IS IN
THEATERS THIS FRIDAY. TIFFANY HADDISH, EVERYBODY! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
