This Works Like Magic! - If You FEEL LOST In Life, Watch This To FIND YOURSELF! | Joe Dispenza

if you can't feel gratitude if you can't feel love i just want to know what you've been practicing feeling every day because that feeling that you're practicing is what you're always feeling now let's practice feeling something else in the beginning it's not going to be easy one of the ways that we find our audience struggles is deducing the energy of the people around you and the energy that you attract into your life and the people that you keep often like you said there are people coming to your seminars that are dragging their partners yeah and they have to drag their partners there because their partners are not understanding it initially where is that is there a method for people to start deducing the energy of people they meet and connect with to be aware if they're on the same frequency or on the same path ah well well i don't i don't know if there's a machine that does that but once again like i think that if we share the same experiences because we like the same things we share the same emotions and if we share the same experiences we share the same emotions i can relate to you so we can exchange ideas and information and if we share the same energy energy is information so many people as an example they use each other to reaffirm their their dependency on suffering so i suffer more than you then you say i you i suffer you suffer more than me we have this thing we just complain with each other well that's the same resonance the same frequency and there's a match right but goes to the same means if you if you're if you're someone who's has a uh accountability partner that that you exchange ideas like this with and it's a different frequency and different energy so when energy comes together and it's constructive something comes out of it yeah you feel it right it's and you feel an elevation if there's dissonance then your your sensing meter is how you feel about that person many times in your gut or in your heart or wherever and there's decon there's a destructive interference and there's no energy involved so i think that's just a practice but really the ultimate mastery is to be able to be in such residence such coherence that when you walk in the room that you raise everybody's energy and you don't let your energy drop because of any circumstance or any condition and that would be greater than your environment right and that's that's the model that we use so imagine 1 500 people in an event where everybody's getting super coherent and the interference that's going on in the room is creating these high amplitudes and we've measured that in the room and the energy in the room is off the chart many times there's i mean there's energy for healing in there there's energy for all kinds of things that can happen so we brought it to life with our awareness and so the more elevated the emotion love gratitude freedom bliss ecstasy the higher the frequency so but it turns out you can have a collective group of people with a lot of energy and be incoherent and it creates entropy yeah you could have a smaller group of people that are highly coherent and put out a very big signal so when we see a collective really get coherent wow the energy in the room opens up doors of possibilities that i would i would never expect i mean i i don't i don't know how to explain some of the phenomenological things that happen but that's that's everybody's divine like everybody's everybody's in that state they're they're in that elevated state so i think our i think our truth meter is really whether we feel it lifted uh or we feel like uh we've been robbed yeah yeah and often often our feeling of feeling lifted is based on everything we've just talked about it's based on a void based on an unhealed trauma based on a gap or a part of ourselves that we haven't yet broken a belief and so often feeling lifted is not feeling lifted in the way you're saying right it's feeling lifted in the just the external superficial sense reaffirming the emotion you need just as just as you said earlier at the beginning that an external event could make you feel sad right the external event is making you feel good right right but it's still extensive exactly the opposite right so then that means then when things are good you feel good yeah when things are bad you feel bad so there's dramatic contrast and polarity and this is the realm of polarity right so how do you find the middle path well the heart is the middle path it's the union of polarity it's the union of opposites it's it's oneness it's wholeness and this is where we have to begin to create from all of this down here is all humanity this is all our animal nature we get up in here things change right you go from selfish to selfless and something else happens so it's really funny too because when a lot of people come they say i i don't know i'm having difficulty opening my heart i'm you know i'm practicing but i'm not feeling anything yet and then it comes time to do our healings on other people and the moment you it's no longer about you all of a sudden something happened well of course that's what the heart is about right so so it comes in ways that uh we least expect at times yeah i love that you've incorporated that element of people having that experience and and often most people can't open their heart to others because they haven't even opened their hearts themselves right like they haven't been through that process of sitting long enough yeah to let the heart i mean i always say to people when was the last time you sat with your heart and just worked with it like so that it's not contracted and afraid and protected it takes practice to to do that and and so we we we work with people in letting them we give them numerous opportunities to practice this over and over and over again and sooner or later pedal by pedal it starts to bloom and all of a sudden there's an authentic smile on their face and once energy meets the heart it goes right to the brain we have we did this study where we hooked up an electrocardiogram to an electroencephalogram an electroencephalogram is a brain mapping machine so we measure 19 or 26 different compartments and we're looking to see all different kind of activity in the brain but we measure the heart along with it and when the heart starts beating coherently in in a sense of order like a like taking a big sheet jay and going like that the heart sends a wave right up to the brain and the brain goes into these beautiful states of alpha the heart is telling the brain it's safe to create again it's safe to imagine it's safe to dream of a new future and there's the stroke volume of the heart in order and then you see these two or three seconds of beautiful coherent alpha the brain is in it's it's in that creative state then there's a pause and it happens again and it's it's it's beauty it's a it's a symphony if you don't have that mechanism you can have all the intention in the world but there's no carrier wave i mean when people when they make energy reach their heart there's an external field that's created it's it's it's magnetic it's it's it's measurable and that energy is frequency and if that frequency is coherent it can carry the intent or thought on a coherent brain of that future the energy of suffering cannot carry the thought of health or wealth it's not consistent with it it carries a different set of thoughts so then the training then is getting people into those hard states because once they start trading that fear or that pain or that frustration or trying or whatever forcing you know control for gratitude and they just let all that go and i say to them listen if you can't feel gratitude if you can't feel love i just want to know what you've been practicing feeling every day because that feeling that you're practicing is what you're always feeling now let's practice feeling something else in the beginning it's not going to be easy but you got to keep following the formula keep doing it keep doing it keep doing it well when they start feeling gratitude it's very interesting because the emotional signature of gratitude is that something wonderful just happened to you something favorable is happening to you right so you've just received something or you're receiving something you say thank you so gratitude is the ultimate state of receiving emotionally so when you move into a state of gratitude and you open your heart you will accept believe and surrender to the thoughts equal to that emotional state and you'll program your autonomic nervous system into a different destiny you could say i'm healthy i'm healthy i'm healthy i'm wealthy and wealthy and wealthy and wealthy and free i'm free i'm free and your body is conditioned in the misery and it's saying no you're not and that thought stops right at the brain stem it never makes it to the body because the body is on a different program so then while the person starts trading that and they start opening their heart well their immune system gets stronger by 50 percent 50 in three days they start making immunoglobulins their bodies natural defense against viruses and bacteria 50 not a little bit a lot that's that's one study and so trading that telling the body it's in the in the environment where it already happened and so that's when the miracles start happening that's when people say i'm not doing anything well of course you're not you don't have to yeah so then last point about this because it's so important that people understand that most people are creating matter to matter so the more you live by the hormones of stress the more altered you are inside of you the rush of those adrenal chemicals narrows your focus the senses are heightened and we become materialists and now all of our attention is on our bodies and our environment and on time and now we're lost in the vr machine of three-dimensional reality everything appears as separate so i'm here and you're there and there's space and time between us then there's me here and there's my dreams i place them way out there in the future why do i place them out there because i'm estimating how much i have to work to get that house to get that car how much i have to save how much overtime i have to work what things do i have to do how do i have to cheat rob steal lie whatever i have to do to get it right that's matter trying to change matter and so when it doesn't happen we feel more separation we try harder we force we pray we control all that stuff so then creating from the field instead of from matter means that you have to take all of your attention off your body all of your attention of all the people in your life all your attention of all the objects and things all the places and even time itself and become nobody no one no thing nowhere in no time and if you're not any of those things what are you your consciousness and now you are liberated from the rules of three-dimensional reality where everything takes time and energy to get what you want now when we create from the field instead of from matter because it's not matter that's emitting the field it's actually the field that's creating matter change the field you change matter right now this is not something you take one bite of and you get it's something you got to really practice so then by doing this properly with a coherent brain and a coherent heart you got a wi-fi signal and if you're creating from the field instead of from matter you no longer have to go anywhere to get what you want if you were connected to that invisible field of energy called the unified field the quantum field which connects everything physical and material and you're aware of it and you're connected to it you're connected to source why would you if you were source why would you go get anything you'd draw it to you so the thought coherent brain is the intent it's the electrical charge the elevator the motion the heart has a magnetic signature it's the magnetic charge the thought sending the signal out it's a directive the feeling is drawing the event back create that combination and now you're going to collapse space and time and you're going to draw those synchronicities to you now i'm here in this lifetime i'm clear that i want to master that i want to get good at that because i don't want to i did the other stuff you can get successful the other way but you're too tired it takes too much energy i would rather synchronize my energy to synchronicities in my life and be mystified yeah by wow this stuff really works and every synchronicity that happens that catches you off guard and brings you joy and awe and wonder you're going to use that energy to create the next one and it gets weird i've had some crazy synchronicities in the last three days i'm laughing while i'm driving going oh my god this life is so incredibly mysterious what an amazing ride this is that's a different perspective one is when you're not synchronizing well you asked the person was it worth it you showed up every day was it worth absolutely so when it starts happening and you start seeing those you see feedback in your world you're going to pay attention to what you did and you're going to do it again and you're going to be like okay i've done this i've done this and this people who heal themselves have very little difficulty healing someone else yeah that's just the next step and then with kovid and we couldn't do the healings in our events we had students just get together and say if we're in the quantum okay and everything's connected do i really need to be there i just need a target give me the face give me the coordinate love transcends space and time yeah okay give me that coordinate i'll love that person in the life and these people do it and we have we have reputable universities now that are studying this phenomena and they're saying they're telling me these are universities that have some of the most advanced laboratories this is i'm talking the nobel prize researchers they want to change the conversation in medicine and today i got a video of somebody being healed remotely and she's laying there her cancer went from really bad to nothing and she videotapes herself when the group works on her she is laying there and her body is moving all over that floor it's twisting and turning there's energy manipulating that body they're changing the pattern in the field they don't need the body is the illusion the tumor is the illusion that's the hologram change the pattern in the field you change the projection in three-dimensional our person who's healed themselves and been in a circle where they've healed someone else how and then when you do that what's next i don't know you won't know until you have that experience yeah i've sat in on the groups where they get together on the zooms and five people that they've healed tell their story you know a mother whose daughter is unresponsive with a with a with an injury or a handicap from birth who's now looking at her brothers who's trying to talk who's smiling who's present the mother's telling the story there's 40 people on the zoom we're all crying not crying for any other reason but the species is helping the living organism called the human being is healing one another they're informing one another they're taking care of one something innate is awakening us we're we're crying the experience of that produces an emotion that's different than any other emotion you could ever feel that's a new experience do you think that that person who goes to heal the next person is going to have a problem opening their heart after that they know what the payoff is and so they don't contract oh my god that person has in a coma you know how many people have come out of comas because of this healing group they're spot on they can hit a target and they lay their energy over that field and another one over there and another one over and all of a sudden you get these complex coherent patterns and it's creating a change in matter and and they they figured it out and we have universities that are we're collecting all the data and they're crunching all the algorithms we know that it works really well for anxiety it works really well for insomnia for neurological disorders parkinson's disease inflammation we're capturing that pain huge changes in pain and they're they're on the other side of the planet it's kind of and we're synchronizing we're measuring heart rate variability and we're sending electrodes and sensors to the people that are being healed and we're seeing if there's a correlation between the coherence of the group that's doing the coherence of the person who's having the experience and we're measuring dna before the healing and three days of healing we measure the dna after why because evidence has allowed his voice you see that it's the four minute mile that you can't go back to being the same person i scratch my head sometimes when i'm standing on the stage and there's someone speaking to the audience who has had a very serious health condition and they don't look like a vegan and they don't look gluten free and they don't look young and they don't look buffed and they don't look like they're in shape they just look like a normal person that has struggled with a health condition and they're telling the truth they you are witnessing the truth they are the example of truth in other words they have the scans they have the blood test it's gone and i'm looking out in the audience jay and everybody is leaning in nobody is moving there they are in awe of the four-minute mile right in front of them somebody broke through somebody pierced that veil somebody broke out of that level of consciousness and that story is filled with truth not not my words yeah it's star wars they just showed up every day for themselves they just kept showing up and believing it and they became it right you asked that person where's the disease they'll tell you it's in the old person i'm somebody there's i'm not the same it doesn't can't be there the person in the audience who's relating to that person with the same rare genetic disorder the same lupus the same cancer don't you know that their belief is going to change right in front of them and instead of taking two years to do it they do it in three months why because as soon as the four minute mile was broken yeah the next one that broke it was two weeks later and there's been 1400 people have done it i mean it's not a thing anymore right so to me that's we have such compelling evidence in science with brain scans you make your brain work better you can make your heart work better you can make your immune system work better you can make your cells go from really sick to really healthy we've got great evidence you can become immune to serious viruses you can be immune to bacteria we've got the measurements you can lengthen your life we have great evidence and the people aren't monks they're not they're not nuns they're not religious scholars they're just common people and then we have testimony of people who are the example of truth they are they are the example of truth i would rather have dinner with those people than anybody anybody else they know something right so evidence then becomes the loudest voice right and and that's what i think what people are looking for right now the truth is so lost in sensationalism and the truth is so lost in emotional agreement and so people who want to feel fear they program themselves and accept believe and surrender that people who want to be hate be hateful it's all there it's all there and it's a it's a matrix to find the way out right and and and i think i think there's a door i just i just think that we have to trust the innate information that that comes from within us absolutely fascinating and i can't wait to actually experience an event in in real i'm going to invite you one more time and then i'm going to send somebody over here in a car to pick up you well i think last time we wanted to do it and then the pandemic yeah so you know from from last time but uh no i would i would love to i can't wait to experience that into experience it personally not just to watch others but to actually go through it myself too but with all of that said and seeing these breakthroughs seeing these breakthrough patterns you having transcendental experiences what do you believe in this present state of ignorance as you said what do you believe is the purpose of life overall to figure out the purpose of life okay i know i mean i mean i i really think it's i think the mathematics that i've looked at says there's infinite experiences to have you will never know the end so then if you study any religion i i mean i've looked at a lot of them this concept of eternity that the soul is going to be around for eternity that's a long time and that means you got to be okay with you for a very long time yeah so i think it's i think it's the creation of more experiences and i think to to i think we came from source from singularity from oneness and we have descended down into density a fooled by our senses into separation and every single being has a spark of oneness of the divine within them and we got so separate that we now have our own free will to answer the question is there more because if your oneness it gets kind of boring after a while like is there anything else well the moment you ask if there's anything else you're no longer oneness you're something other than oneness right and you're a a different consciousness separate from oneness so i think then we live life and then when we can predict the feeling of everything that can happen in our life and gets boring and we're not impressed by anyone or anything we ask the same question is there more and that's when the soul goes all right well it's been how many lifetimes you've been doing this okay there's an awakening and the and we ask that question and then all of a sudden we start getting information and books and stuff and meet people and it gets exciting and and it's the it's it's how the universe works and so we climb out of this and i just think there's so many incredible experiences that are left in the unknown uh that we get to have and and then of course when on the journey is over and you evolve to that point uh then you take that wisdom and you want you say here's what i learned and it was scary down there and i was like boy i tell a great story and then you hang out there and you go is there anything else besides and here we go again it just never ends that's my theory that's a great answer i loved it i resonate deeply with many parts of that answer i think it's a it's a really beautifully put way of thinking about it and bringing in that like i said at the beginning bringing in that spiritual that science and the experience of of what it would actually look like to live for eternity so it's a beautiful beautiful answer dr joe we end every episode with the final five these are the fast five questions where the answers have to be one word to one sentence maximum okay so this is uh i don't remember this from last time so this is good yeah and i'll probably break my rule with you because you give phenomenal no i'll i'll do my best i'll try my best as well me too i'll try my best as well okay so dr joe these are your final five uh the first question is what is the best advice you've ever received how to show up for yourself what's the worst advice you've ever received uh believe what people tell you what's something that you've said in the past that you were confident about it then but now upon reflection you're like oh i should have changed my mind about that oh that it takes a long time to create reality i'm going to ask you to expand on that because i like that answer i want to know more that's fascinating well um i think just like anything else you learn how to snowboard you go through that learning curve you learn how to ride a bike you go through that learning curve that i used to think that creation was hard i just thought it took a lot of energy and it took a lot of sacrifice and it'll work for it and great onsen and uh god i mean even my definition of surrender today is very different than it was just three months ago because i'm always doing it and so i think that it doesn't have to be that way i just think that it could be any way you want and that and then working on that uh changing that belief i love that beautiful answer thank you for sharing yeah question number four uh what's one thing that you think people value but you don't oh other people's opinions if i really cared what people thought i would have stopped this a long time ago and now it's so great because i have so many researchers and physicians and everybody i'm very glad you didn't stop and we are very happy you didn't stop i think it's deeply meaningful work and the more time we spend together and the more time i hear where you want to take people where you want what you want people to experience is just beautiful so thank you for what you're doing thanks uh fifth and final question if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow what would it be take care of one another nice and simple it's beautiful why do you think anonymity is so important for all of us in our life to experience why is it such a fascinating because when you go past your ego identity there's a bigger identity that is so huge it's incomprehensible it can't even be described and there's a freedom and a joy that comes from that and i had had glimpses of that but this period of intense stillness and by the way since then i've kept a week of silence every year sometimes i'll do more and uh that week of silence usually in september i do every year just to go back to the taste of timeless being yeah instead of you know our ego identity which we keep polishing every day now especially these days with social media and books and promotions and you name it what's something that people can do daily to access that experience because like you said our days are just busy with work and family and commitments and events what's something people can do daily that helps them access their true identity their self going beyond the ego and the mind and the body i think the basic of it is to still the mind as much as possible and just become a silent witness um to that which is happening on the screen of your consciousness so if you um close your eyes and take a few deep breaths and then um you know i usually start with a little reflection who am i who wants to know the answer what is it that wants to know the answers to the question who am i what is my purpose what do i want for me and the world what am i grateful for that's how i start then i go into a little bit of breathing and then mantra meditation and then what i do is i witness what's happening on the screen of my consciousness just becoming aware and sooner or later you realize that what's happening on the screen of consciousness is not who you are you're the one who's watching that and then what's happening on the screen of your consciousness ultimately leads to deep insights about mind and body and the physical world which actually doesn't really exist but we can get into that when we talk about metahuman but i think if people just ask these four questions every day before they start the day even without a prolonged meditation process who am i what do i want what's my purpose what am i grateful for suddenly the windows to the bigger reality starts start to open absolutely this is such a beautiful point that deepak's making right now for everyone listening and watching it's just such a simple way of starting to transcend the noise and the clutter that we feel every morning when we wake up and the first thing we do is look at our phones all you have to do is just switch that habit for asking yourself these questions and you don't need to know the answers because you know there are no fixed answers these answers keep changing all you have to do is live the questions and then life keeps moving you into answers that you need at that moment in your life and it all happens spontaneously synchronistically such a great point because these answers are revealed and received they're not they're not found and they're pertinent for that moment in your life not necessarily the answers i love that i think that's such a good point because so often we put this pressure when we ask a question that we must find the answer now it's like the education system has drilled dust and believing that you have the right or wrong answer within moments now what was that poet who said uh live the questions and life will move you to the answers when you need them because if you got them right now you may not be even prepared for them wow yeah that's a good point i know life has done that to me a lot of times yeah when you ask questions and you think you want the answer now but then when you actually receive it you realize yes i wasn't prepared that's right absolutely wow what a profound what a profound way of thinking about it i love that that's that's made a huge shift in my mind not even to want to answer the questions now no just ask them and let your day and let them go yeah alum in the form of insight intuition inspiration creative um creativity but most importantly they come in the form of meaningful coincidences of what kalyan called synchronicity or what religious people say grace yes that's it yeah yeah meaningful coincidences absolutely yeah how beautifully said i love that so this is what i love about your journey deepak is just that at every point it seems that you've been a seeker for more like you've continually gone in the direction of more learning more growth never settling how have you seen the medical industry shift how have you seen other things around you shift with time because you've really gone all the way do you think that we are seeing shifts in the media yeah we are seeing shifts when i started i felt like a loner yeah i can imagine but now integrative medicine is part of every institution including academia and in the last 15 20 years our foundation has done a lot of research so we made it pretty mainstream right now so to summarize very shortly what has taken 30 years to learn or more 40 years to learn is that only five percent of disease related gene mutations are fully penetrant so let me explain this for a lay audience so a genetic a genetic mutation is a is a mistake it's an error in the gene genes are stretches of dna that code for proteins so dna is stands for deoxyribonucleic acid and there are four of these named after alphabets adenine guanine cytosine thymine atcg so atcg are the four letters of life in english we have 26 letters and most languages human languages we have more than 20 letters but the language of life dna has only four letters atcg and these spell out words that we call genes and the body is a story spelt out by those genes so when people say first there was the word word was made into flesh in a way it's very literal actually when you start to look at the biological mechanism now once in a while or more than once in a while there are genetic mistakes so you might think of them again with speaking metaphorically but a spelling mistake so instead of the word being spelled correctly maybe one of the letters atcg is missing or it's in the wrong place or it's upside down or you're redundant two letters instead of one that mistake genetic variation is called a mutation now only five percent of these genetic mutations that are associated with disease cancer heart disease arthritis strokes you name it autoimmune diseases alzheimer's only five percent actually guarantee the disease which means if you have one of those mutations you're going to get the disease like angelina jolie had a gene called the baraka gene which predicts breast cancer 100 so she had a mastectomy to prevent the cancer rightly so for those five percent there are new technologies that are being developed right now and crispr is one of them which means you can cut and paste the gene the way you would in email so you would take the defective gene you'd read the bar chord with the molecular scissors you delete it and then you'll insert the right chain it's not happening right now but it'll happen in the near future but what people don't understand is that's five percent of illness wow the rest even the genetic mistakes that are associated with disease depends on how you live your life and very simple things like sleep meditation and stress management movement yoga and pranayama now yoga and pranam goes way beyond exercise because with yoga and pranayam there's a particular nerve in the body called the vagus nerve it's the tenth nerve and the word vegas is a latin word but it's related to the english word vagabond so this nerve comes from the midbrain it influences your facial expressions so you can now do micro expressions and see if a person is happy or not it influences the eye movements it influences the tone of your voice are you threatened are you stressed are you friendly are you happy it influences your heart rate activity then it pierces the diaphragm and it influences the activity of every other branch of the vagus nerve that goes to all the organs in the body so when i discovered this through yoga teachers and masters i realized that the yoga asanas you know we say yoga asana and people usually translate that into as postures but actually the word asana means seat as you know seat of awareness seat of consciousness so each yogasana is a particular seat of consciousness that stimulates a particular nerve that is going to organ in your body and the only reason for that nerve is self-regulation or healing or homeostasis so when i discovered that i became fanatic about yoga i haven't missed yoga now for as long as i can remember that one amazing wow okay not one day of yoga or meditation or um or pranayama so yeah it was a long time so when you put together you know yoga movement sleep stress management healthy relationships and emotions like love compassion joy equanimity uh food that doesn't kill your microbiome which is the two million extra genes in our body which are not human so you only have 25 000 human genes but you have two million bacterial genes in your body this is called the microbial microbiome it is much it's as important as the human genome so you can change the activity of your microbial genes just by changing your diet so if you go not even vegan but if you go maximum diversity on plant-based foods and foods that are not contaminated with antibiotics or hormones or insecticides um you can change your genetic activity wow and the population of your genes in less than six weeks and which means then you're reinventing your body because your body is spelled out by your genes so this got me going strongly into how do we reinvent our bodies by resurrecting our souls and going past our minds and that's what i'm obsessed with now wow i love that i'm so glad you're obsessed with it because the fact that we're so responsible for our own well-being is huge in the sense of belief that there are ways in which we can rewrite that story you can write the genetic structure of your body you can't change the human genes by the way because you got them from your parents but you can change their activity so right here's one of our researchers um we put one we put people through a one week retreat where they not only learnt mantra meditation but they also practiced the yoga sutras of patanjali from the chapter on the cds particularly transcending the senses in one week literally and this is published now in major peer-reviewed journals if people want to check them out go to chopra foundation.org and you'll see all the research and the research was in collaboration with scientists from harvard from ucsf from duke from scripps of course chopra foundation mount sinai in new york and what did we find we found that in one week of this practice of meditation and the yoga sutras of patanjali all the genes that are responsible for healing and self-regulation they went up some 17-fold over baseline these are human genes and the genes that cause disease or inflammation went down drastically the enzyme there's an enzyme in our body called telomerase it influences the length of telomeres which are like little buttons at the end of your chromosomes the the level of the enzyme went up 40 in one week which means people were reversing their biological age at a genetic level wow okay now how far does this go we don't know and that was just one week which is one week and you know the people who are in samadhi for weeks at a time those traditions are not that prevalent you know there's a technique in ayurveda called kaya kalpa where you go into a retreat where it is totally dark where you have no communication with the world where you transcend where you eat minimal maximum diversity of plant-based foods and within six months you come back a younger person biologically physiologically you know i'm 72 now you're looking at i'm i'm i you know i'm not focused on aging anymore yeah i've got i think that's a mistake for anyone who uh follows deepak on social media instagram or facebook if you don't already i highly recommend it but i've never seen you miss a day of yoga meditation i see you every time when you inspire me so much because i just think like if you're able at your current body's age to be able to do the things you are with your body and how healthy you are and how healthy your body and mind are i mean we have no excuses there's biological age which is the exact biomarkers so what's blood pressure bone density body temperature regulation fat content cholesterol vision hearing skin thickness wrinkles hormones that's biological age then there's chronological age when you were born what your birth certificate says yes then there's psychological age how do you feel yes and then there's spiritual age which is timeless which has no age whatsoever so you know we have to make these distinctions and see which of these we're talking about 100 100 and when you said at the end there that you're not thinking about aging anymore what did you mean by that when you said that it's now um something i talk about in my new book made a human that what we call body mind and world and aging and birth and death are actually human constructs they're not real now uh we can go into that to the extent that you want yeah yeah yeah control can we dive into the book for a bit we can yeah yeah let's do it if that's what you want to do let's see yeah yeah yeah yeah no no i'd love to i've got so many questions on the book that we'd put together for you so i'm happy to do that so in one of the things this is what i was looking at the you start the book by prompting two questions right in moments where you feel very happy do you watch yourself being happy and when you're angry is someone is some part of you free of anger right why did you start with this so in all the spiritual traditions um not necessarily just the eastern traditions they speak of two worlds the imminent and the transcendent so the imminent is this world that we're in right now this space-time causality new york city the hotel we're in and then the transcendent world is the world of infinite being or consciousness at all times we're in both these worlds without knowing but once you become aware even slightly that the awareness of a thought is not a thought right if you're able to observe a thought then you the observer is not that thought right similarly the observer of the emotion or which is the awareness of an emotion is not the emotion agreed or a perception or a color you know right now we are perceiving through our five senses and what we are perceiving is colors forms shapes sounds sensations in our body maybe emotions and thoughts and maybe images that's the raw material of experience that's all there is okay the words body mind and world are human constructs based on the interpretation of these raw sensations so once you start to become a witness of experience you realize that you are intrinsically free of the experience unless you identify with it unless you say that's me yes it's not you it's an experience you're having right absolutely so once you bind yourself to the experience which we call the karmic web of existence then you are in that circle of karma memory desire you are constantly seeking validation you're afraid of people who criticize you you're flattered by people who flatter you you feel beneath someone or superior to someone it's the melodrama of our daily existence yes when you can observe what's happening in the realm of experience and instead of reacting to it you observe the reaction to react even for a second instead of reacting to the experience you observe the reaction to react you suddenly realize that your range of options or choices right this moment is actually infinite and you don't have to be a bundle of conditioned reflexes and nerves that's constantly being triggered by people and circumstances into predictable outcomes so you become you become you're at the mercy of every stranger on the street so i think it's very important to know that yes i'm having this experience but i am intrinsically free of this experience so that's how the book starts yeah and i absolutely love that because it's an analogy i usually used to share that experience is like when we're in a car and someone hits the car we say oh someone hit me yes but actually they didn't hit you they hit the car yeah and you're identifying as the car as yourself yes now how about if they hit your body yeah you know and and your body perishes right yes so that's the argument people have against the argument that spiritual people have which is you're not your body you're not your mind so but you know you remember that famous dialogue between samuel johnson and um and whoever that idealist was and he said you know the world is a projection of consciousness and i think it was samuel johnson who hit his leg on a piece of stone and said i refute you thus saying that you know you get hit by a bus you're going to you're going to break your bones and you might die sure so uh why do you say that the physical world is an illusion now if you want we can address that yeah let's address that yeah let's address that yeah so you know this is of course i take people through the book very slowly but if you asked a regular person on the street what is this they'd say it's a microphone if you ask them what's this you'd say this is a watch what's this this is my hand what's this this is my body now if you really start to look at this very carefully before you call anything by its name microphone hand body um watch before you use that those words it's an experience and the experience is actually not a physical experience color form and shape are not physical experiences if i asked you where in the physical world is the color red located you would say nowhere in fact there's no color red in the physical world what's coming to your eyes are electromagnetic vibrations which have no color what's happening in your eyes there's no color and if i asked you to imagine a beautiful run red sunset you have a picture in your consciousness but there's no picture in your brain there's no picture in your eyes and actually the sunset is not if you're imagining it it's not in the physical world now what you don't realize is when you're looking at a real sunset all you're experiencing is color the rest is a story okay that's a sunset this is a body okay color shapes textures sensations smells images emotions and thoughts have no location in the physical world and yet out of this raw material we create the idea of a physical world so in sanskrit that's called jagat mithya the world appearance on the screen of your consciousness and your body is part of that world appearance because people you know they say where are you people say i'm here but there's no one inside there okay because this is also an experience in consciousness the mind is an experience in consciousness moreover it's a shifting experience in consciousness no you know a thought is ungraspable it's ephemeral it's evanescent you can't catch one okay you can't catch a perception look here i look there these are two snapshots of perception and they're evanescent i look at my body and by the time i look at again it's a different body because it's recycling so fast at the level of atoms and molecules and information and energy so the fact that we call this a body it's actually a changing experience of sensations images feelings and thoughts that is a modified form of your own self and it's changing it's ungraspable same thing with the mind it's ungraspable same thing which we will call with the world it's a changing experience of shifting what we call qualia in the in the spiritual literature now in the consciousness literature there's this word qualia instead of quantum a quantum is a unit of measurement but a qualia is a unit of experience so if i tell you think of your wife right now and you see an image that's a qualia now feel the emotion connected with that that's a qualia now think of what you want to do with her this evening go out for dinner or a movie that's a qualia so qualia are units of experience when we string them together we create the construct of mind body and world and once we create that construct then we're stuck with constructs like birth and death and karma and memory and desire and all the things which make a very fascinating human experience but it's not reality it's we are already in a virtual reality okay so today with vr and immersive augmented experiences and dreamscapes it is becoming clear that the world that you and i are inhabiting right now is a collective human dreamscape and as body minds we have fictional characters in that dreamscape and it's an illusion that we can upgrade or we can downgrade you know we can create heaven out of it or hell but it's still not fundamental reality and now with the new technologies this is becoming very clear once you realize that the world is a construct yes the construct has been evolving through mythology through religion through economics through history through society through culture but it's still a construct and what these great seers these great rishis were able to do is they were able to deconstruct it once you deconstruct it what are you left with you know when you left you've heard that expression 1880 i'm not the mind i'm not the body i'm not the intellect i'm i'm the observer what are you left with once you deconstruct everything what you're left with is formless infinite dynamic field of infinite possibilities infinite creativity infinite love and the source of intention so that's what yoga originally was and should be yoga means union union with the self which is also the self of the universe and this is where you know i got totally seduced that human suffering as the vedanta says comes from not knowing true reality fundamental reality confusing perceptual reality with fundamental reality grasping and clinging that which you cannot grasp or cling the fear of impermanence the construct of the ego and the fear of death these are all the same thing not knowing what is real and what is a projection and even the projection can be changed absolutely wow what a class in what a master class in in in reality an illusion how does then one function within the world but then still understand because i think the challenge people have on a day-to-day basis as you've probably heard for decades is this well if it if if what i'm experiencing is not complete reality then where do i go from there like what do i do marry do i fall in love why not do i go to the movies you know i used to go to a lot of movies i don't that much anymore because what we call everyday reality is a more interesting movie than most movies yeah don't have the imagination to capture the what is happening in what we call everyday reality so we are in it we might as well enjoy it and upgrade it and that's what the expression is to be in the world and not of this world okay or we are spiritual beings having a human experience or non-local beings having a local experience timeless but in time once you understand that and once you also get into the habit of self-reflection self-inquiry observing perceptual experiences without necessarily judging them so i'm right now having the experience of colors and forms and tastes and smells and sounds i don't necessarily have to qualify this experience and transcendence where you know you go to that place where there is no mantra and no thought and just deep stillness then the shift starts to occur that you're not identifying with your body mind or experiences of the world and yet you're enjoying them or not enjoying them and now you want to do something to shift and since you're in the world you know about 25 years ago i wrote this book how to make that practical and i don't know how but basically i came up with the idea of the seven spiritual laws of success the law of pure potentiality the law of giving and receiving karma intention desire least effort and detachment and dharma those seven principles guided me into a new idea of what success is the progressive realization of worthy goals the ability to love have compassion but most importantly to identify with your creative center instead of the projection that's coming from that center because most of the time our experience of is coming from identifying with a projection that has been created by the conditioned or ego mind now the ego mind is not going to disappear as long as you're in this body or actually you're not in the body the body is in you but whatever so it's not going to disappear but if you keep it in the background and you're aware of it and you ask yourself what am i motivated by and i have these little tricks in my mind pursue excellence ignore success and then everything happens synchronicity meaningful coincidences the state of grace effortless being spontaneous fulfillment of desire these are little things over the years that i've gleaned as my little catch phrases to remind myself yes i must live a life that is based on love and if it's not based on love at the highest level you know as the vedanta say love should radiate from you like light from a bonfire yeah not focused on anyone and not denied to anyone it's just the light of the sun i really think that entertainment and education should go hand in hand like i don't under i'm like why do we have like billions of billions of dollars going into entertainment and yet we can't add like 20 percent of that into like just put education within the entertainment yeah it should be fun it should be exciting like it's like i said in the beginning like it's what we're here to do is learn and like create learn create learn create it's just like this circle and so it's like i don't know finding how to re reignite their passions is uh for themselves like fall in love with themselves and then reignite the passion is really really powerful to me and then by helping these girls like i know that when they're they become moms they're they're gonna understand not to give away their identity because one of the things that i see in moms like so much of the time is they just like they just become mom and i and i'm like no you're still this girl before you're a mom and you're still and i i i think one of the things that i wish that i wish or i wish for all of this to help is to make sure that these girls continue on with who they are and then it's like who they are and then they're all of the subcategories all of the characters that they play go below that um because i've seen it too much in marriages like the the female just loses her identity and then becomes resentful it's what happened in my family i've seen it way too many times with the people around me i'm just like how can how can we heal this and this is like actually an ongoing conversation in my head so it's just like yeah no i'm really glad you brought that up i've i'm i'm working on my second book right now and i talk a lot about how you know in a partnership in any relationship the goal is to always help each other find each other's purpose exactly because if you're not doing that like when i think about me and my wife when i met my wife i was quite clear about what i wanted to do and she had loads of talents and skills but didn't quite know what she was going to do with them and over the last five years of us being married she's really coming to her own and she's really growing and flourishing and thriving and it's been beautiful to watch but i fully agree with you that it's you can't think that oh no but your purpose is just to do this or your purpose just to look out look after the home or your purpose even as a whoever the role is doesn't matter what gender you are but the idea of your purpose is just to make money for the house like that's not a purpose like we all have so much more to do so i love that you brought that up because you get lost in your role yeah you you get lost in your roles that's like a real thing and that's what i'm learning from acting as well i was like don't get lost in your roles like don't do that like i've i've heard people do method acting that have actually lost relationships in the real world because of that and so when i hear that i'm like wow exactly well it's a great example of what we do in real life as well yeah um because i do think like at some point with like a long-term relationship or friendship whatever it is it's like you choose to have them come with you and if you're not choosing that then the relationship didn't work not because it was like you didn't bring them along or they didn't or you didn't see where they were going and wanted to come with them it is as much as like we love the butterflies and we love all that this is a team partnership yes like if you go we go yeah you know yeah we go and you can't be someone's purpose like don't try and make it like no i am your purpose like what i do is your purpose and my purpose is the same as yours it doesn't work it doesn't work like that like you can't project your purpose onto another person and expect them to just want to live for that right exactly exactly and then this is all of these things i've been learning recently like in the last couple of years especially with like going through like so many public relationships and having that be oh god public relationships are terrified oh my god after i was like i'm good after after my last public relationship i was like i'm good i'm so good i'm gonna just be me in my own little world no one gets no um because not only are you creating roles in the relationship but now you have the public creating characters of the people that you are so it's like you're fighting like you're it's like you're having conversations with like four different versions of the person you're dating and you're like oh my god like and half of them aren't even real yeah it's like a foggy mirror you're just like hello um so that's been really interesting and then i always feel that relationships are the best reflection as to where you are right because they're just like i'm just your walking reflection right now that's why we're in this together right so i i always get excited when i because i'm starting to just meet so many amazing people and i think that's like what i've been learning as well is just like there's no there's no villain anymore it's like we can stay together or we can leave in good faith and good heart and like it's just it's not you know in high school you're just like what um now it's just like oh good like you you did me a service by leaving because you were being disserviced to me and you for staying because you didn't feel so it's like at the end of the day it's all perfect like what can i it's all perfect yeah and then trusting that like what helps you trust and accept that when most of our minds hold on to the but it could have been like this or because i feel that's what it is right it's always this battle between imagination and reality and a lot of us prefer our imagination yeah but then we have to yeah and then we have to deal with reality and i oh i've read something actually i want to read this to you because i think you'll like it wait let me find it let me find it i have to read it to you because i don't want to mess it up you know it's it's you know when you like try and say something so this is by johann wolfgang and he said few people have the imagination for reality ooh and i read that and it literally like it really that's like there's something it packs a punch right it's like few people have the imagination for reality and i was thinking wow wow like i think my imagination's good but if i had a really good imagination i'd be able to accept and trust my reality well you're kind of like i'm a great storyteller and the universe is like sit down sit down you can tell it later once it's over you can say it's yours but it was mine like that's like fully like what i experienced that's beautiful you know it's like sit down like you you write it while i create like you know what i mean like you remember it you tell the story it's ours you know but it's mine but it's ours you write i'll edit it yeah and so like that's kind of the relationship that i always see and per your question earlier imagination and reality it's i always at this point with heartbreaks there i don't see it as heartbreak anymore i see it as growing pains and that's sometimes even worse because you're just like i was i was good i was good with just this like i didn't i didn't i don't want to grow like i'm good like i'm tired i just want to like watch netflix and chill like i don't want to evolve anymore even though i like just got here in retrospect but like it's still and so if i look at it as growing pains and then you know as because we're all artists we're all artists and so what i'll do now and it's actually so intoxicating is i'll create i'll write poetry i'll write music based off of the experience i mean we know all of the biggest artists in the world are like let me tell you about my heartbreak and then they get they blow up because of that and i'm just like that's in all of us and so every single time that i have a new experience of heartbreak or just not working out or whatever it is i'm like there is there is gold in this pain there's gold in this pain and i cannot wait to get it out i'm just like so i get i get this weird like i get heartbroken then i get really excited so it goes back and forth it's almost um and i always i always tell people i'm like when someone leaves your life it's okay to feel like you're grieving and death because the character that they played in your life is not there anymore and so you are grieving someone that's no longer there like you are like when i get broken up with with someone i truly love and i'm crying and i'm in that space it is very similar pain to when i lost my mom and so like i always wish when any time like my girlfriends me and she's like crying sobbing i'm just like this is valid don't worry like feel it like feel it because you lost a character that you thought was in this season but it's not and like you thought he was going to be your season finale he's not but it's all good there's a season 60 there's season 40 like you know there's so many seasons in your life so it's just coming back to oh so if if he wasn't meant to be here then what i attracted was more parts of myself i became more me because he came into my life and that is the biggest blessing i could have ever asked for like i am a product of everyone that i've dated and i've and i've found i've fallen in love with them and then those parts that i fall in love with i've like i like i took them for myself and so i almost i'm getting to the point now where i don't grieve it anymore because i'm like well the person that i was in love with i became and so that's so interesting how even if that person wasn't there no the parts that you thought you fell in love with like how powerful it is like relationships always fascinate me because i've always been a relationship girl and seeing how much people grow after relationships it's like i mean you guys have ever seen like don't break a girl's heart you know what i mean like it hap i just i just watched my sister do this and i'm just like she's gonna be so good after this like i'm so girls get hotter like it's just like it's such a vibe i i get i get so excited because we need it's almost like um the fire it's like it breaks your heart open so you can light fire and i'm just like yes like let's go so it sucks it always sucks um but once again like back to that same belief that i had like the more he pulls you back it's like a slingshot he'll just like launch you for it so i just at the beginning of 2020 i was just like oh this is painful this is painful i wonder what's going to happen and now it's like i can honestly say i've helped more people than i ever would have imagined and i'm also like playing with this belief and like i think all companies should is like can we just like stop this idea that like a company or a brand living forever is success because it's just it's not like it's not sustainable things evolves and so i always tell myself i'm like whether this company stays whether it does that's not the point that was never the point the point is is i've helped i would say over now like 10 000 girls truly like actually help them like speaking to them talking to them one-on-one and that i will carry with me they will carry with them like that's good enough so it's like it's almost like this is good enough it's okay it doesn't have to last forever none of these things have to last forever i feel like we're so in in companies in general even though this is a community but like companies it's like we're so thirsty to just be the monopoly and i'm like no yeah what is this world going to look like if we're all trying to be monopolies we can't yeah like are you good are you safe you have a roof over your head you can host people like you're good you're good like let's now how can we return the fate and and do more and it's like so i that's kind of where i'm at with weird warriors is like it will continue and it's going to be amazing but the impact is already there and i'm so honored to like do have that impact on them you know it's just because it's so real no you i'm so glad that you're owning that and accepting that because i can agree with you more i think we're fascinated with longevity and lasting till the end and even in relationships you stretch out far longer than it needs to be just because we think end means failure failure and and you're so spot on that the impact the end is insignificant really it's it's all about what's happening right now in this place right today and forget i'm like it's right here fam yeah if you're making an impact yeah if you're making an impact on all of these women today and they're impacting each other and you're empowering them to also become their own experts and discover their skills i mean that's beautiful yeah and i'm so glad that you made that point because i think our our obsession with making something lost is unhealthy everything yeah it's unhealthy it's unhealthy it's unhealthy and you're only 24 yeah right now yeah yeah which is amazing yeah like that's that's that's the insane part here i feel like i'm speaking to the oldest soul in the world and then i have to remind myself and it's that's that's such a wonderful thing because you know you're carrying your mother's energy in such a special way yeah no it comes through it's like it's it's so clear yeah that that you know and it's cool too because like for anyone who's lost someone y'all have a speed dial up there like you guys can just like i literally i'm like mom and she's she's right there and so i'm like you have the strongest connection to the other side or whatever you believe it's really truly whatever you believe because i'm pretty sure all this is made up i mean we're just like i'm sitting on an idea right now which trips me out sometimes i don't know like it's weird um but it's like we have such a deep connection to the other side because we have that person on the other side and so i utilize that as much as i can and whenever i forget um i just like i'm like how can i remember how can i remember i think that's where i am right now i just i i will um it's always the environment too so like i'll choose incense i'll make lights candles and i'll just sit down and i'll remember like whether that's just sitting in silence it's helping me remember but or just writing until something else comes out that's what it's or talking to a friend about it like i i think i'm at and i think we're all at that point where it's not it's not so much you're learning something new it's almost you're just remembering what was already there on top of everything else per what my sister said about the onions and just unraveling it and so um it's constantly coming back to that but like i still you know still suffer like we all suffer like it's all good it's all good how have you got through that you know you talked about this earlier and i think you've experienced this like you've and and i love what you said because we were we were connecting on this beforehand and i i sometimes feel the same way because i thought i was going to be a monk and that's literally what i built up so before that i had so many passions but my parenting was ignore the passion do the safe thing and so my passions were music my passions were spoken word and my passion was philosophy do you still write spoken books i do i do yeah it's it's such a passion for me and i feel like a lot of my videos and a lot of my content is still wordplay and and has so much i still use this spoken word in a different way today exactly and so that's so much a part of my life but it was like do the safe thing and so i was studying business and i thought i'd be an investment banker or a consultant or whatever any of that stuff and then i became a monk that became my dream and mom dad yeah literally like from all of that to that but even letting go of that i would say i'm most myself in what i do today and being a monk was part of that but it's not all of me and being in media which is what i am now is not all of me it's a part of me and then being in the world of business was a part of me it's not all of me and i think you are so right that we limit ourselves we feel society limiting us and we feel we have to choose to be one thing and i think that the fact that you're 24 years old and you've allowed yourself to continue to do this and you still do today i think that's so wonderful because i think a lot of people stay stuck until again wanting to make something last yeah wanting to make something last and like every single thing and i i will say this with absolute certainty like every single thing that any of you guys have been doing and that you feel like was the thing and then it's not it is serving yes what your thing is like ballet i spent literally 20 almost 20 years every day four five six hours a day i would be on point and my feet still hurt you know like it's just like but because of that it's translated into storytelling i know how to use my body my work ethic is insane i understand i know how to take direction there is i know how to feel when i move like it has literally serviced me in everything i've done and so it's just it's almost just like being okay with letting it go but then you don't actually let it go it's always there that's the thing it's like it's always there serving you yeah um and so that's that's how i feel with pretty much everything i do my mom said another thing my mom said is like she goes um just be passionately curious because put so much pressure on us so my mom would always just be like just be curious like just like follow your curiosities and if if it doesn't lead you anywhere just be like oh that was interesting and then go over here and so that's that's what i do and like given i do i still of course have big dreams but like i let my curiosity take me like and i don't the big dream is not the goal it's like the little moments that get up to it right right so like when i'm when i'm having a director meeting and i'm like talking to them about a role or whatever it is it's like my intention in that call is to make the director feel good not to get the part and so just like having those little indirect of like wow that's such a huge thing you just dropped yeah that's a huge thing it's who you are it's who all of us are it's like if you can stop going well this is my goal to like my intention i think intentions are actually the most underrated most powerful things i've ever like i still learn about how we have an intention 24 7 with everything every single thing we do we just like sometimes we're aware of it sometimes we're not and so when you can put an attention an intention on something before you do it it's it's crazy how powerful it is so it's like i always make sure because at the end of the day and this is kind of what we're all looking for i think even more so than the diploma than the thing and the degree is someone that we connect to someone that we feel close to someone that we almost feel like we've already met before like that essence comes from the intention of making that person feel connected not from i hope i'm right for this i hope i'm this and so like i whenever i hire from my company that's my intention i was like i don't really i don't care where you went to college why would i care like i care about who you are like what like what's your like what's your intention like how are you gonna be fun to work with like are we gonna because ideally i want you to be in this for the long run and so do i wanna be talking to you for the next five to ten years like what does that look like and so having that perspective on when it comes to jobs when it comes to meetings anything ever is like the human connection should go first no matter what no matter how bad you want it like the human connection is first um that's actually been the best like magic trick my mom taught me because it's like it it always it always provides what i need and then what the other person needs so for instance i was like very excited for this role that i almost got a couple weeks ago i was very excited i won't say any names and he was so sweet and we were talking we were having such a good time and i really understood the character and it was really great but then you know because i don't i'm not very experienced in the space he was like we're gonna choose someone else and i was like that's completely fine but then i was sitting in meditation and i had this urge to write him an email and i didn't i didn't know why because my goal wasn't necessarily to get the part i just almost felt like the the connection of me and him wasn't finished and so i just sent him a thank you and i was like thank you so much for speaking giving me your time like learning about me because who i am matters because you need to get to know if i fit the care like all of these things and because of that it almost solidified our relationship and that but that wasn't my intention my intention was just like this isn't over i don't know why and i'm just gonna sit down and see so like listening to almost like letting it overpower whether or not [Music] what happened it's like if you don't feel like it's finished like go in there with the intention that you want to just solidify the mirror that you guys are reflecting towards each other as opposed to like the opportunity that's kind of on the sidelines yeah um so that's been a huge tool huge it's like actually like the probably the reason i'm here to be honest so check it out shout out tool did you say i love that today i've discovered how funny you are which is great which is really awesome which is really awesome so i i love that we're going to have so many memes made out of this interview for you there's going to be so many great ones alexis is there something that i haven't asked you about that's like on your mind you're like i have to share this i want to share i want to say this uh before we go into the final five but i want to know if there's anything that you're feeling intuitively as you are just thank you so much like actually thank you so much i'm going to deteriorate just like saying it but thank you i feel like i don't know it was weird like once i finally solidified this podcast with you there something like clicked inside of me and i was like like i am becoming the person i want to be and like i and so just like thank you for showing that to me because it really i i'm not yeah i just thank you i have no i just like words don't they they're not it right now so but thank you yeah so just that's it that's all i have to say i love that i love that that means the world to me and and i'm and i'm hoping that that synergy and synchronicity continues and you know this is the beginning of a great friendship so that's that's that's my hope i i i really believe that honestly the podcast for me has either been a place where i had a lot of relationships offline that people didn't know the types of conversations we were having and so the podcast was a great way of me sharing hey i'm really good friends with the person this is what we talk about and i want everyone to hear it and then it's also been the opposite where it's been like here's someone i'm really interested to get to know and i wanted to start a friendship and so it's perfect yeah and so the podcast for me has been so much more than and it's what you're saying about a community more than a company or a brand like the podcast for me is not a show like that's that's not the point of it like it's it's a it's a way i can get to know humans that i'm interested in or i find interesting and help people learn about them so actually i should be thanking you because you know i think sitting down with you today has just completely blown my mind and opened up my mind to just so many possibilities as to how someone who's navigated so many stressful situations and i think the closer you get to it the more you realize how hard it is so when i was a young kid and i grew up in london i knew no one in the entertainment industry i was not in la or hollywood everyone in my area was you know not going off to work in anything to do with the world i'm in now and because of that you look at people and you go oh life must be easy for you you guys have money you guys have fame uh you guys are attractive you you m life why are you complaining right and as i've got closer to the industry closer to people that i coach that i work with clients of mine i've only just had more compassion for everyone both the people that are like me sitting back there judging and then both the people are in this situation because i realized we're all just feeling some type of pain and the more we can rise to that point without judgment the better it's going to be for us because we can evolve together yeah if we expect anyone who's successful to be always happy then what we're saying is when i become successful i have to always be happy and that pressure is right back on us it's interesting how that works and it's almost like um yeah anything that we direct outwards is an exact manifestation of what's going to happen inside of us and so we have to be so careful with our words like i don't why do you think they call it spelling spells like i'm like wow that's true that's good i've not heard that before i like that that's good the words are like i am oh my god when i hear girls say like i am ugly or i am i'm just like no no like you can no i refuse to let you say that about yourself because you would never say that about your daughter you would never say that about your friend and so it's it truly is like having these honest conversations with anyone at any level has been eye-opening to me and that's one of the reasons why i've always loved the podcast so much because i got to actually just see the person and not the characters that i see them play in life um so that's really it's really inspiring and then also knowing that pain happens on any level like pain is pain you know like me losing someone from a breakup is just as painful as me losing my mom to death and i was like that was a weird that was weird i was like and you almost feel guilty or like you feel like can i feel that do i allow myself to so it's like yeah validating on any level because that's actually what connects us as well and and i almost feel like until we um we have the goal right now is to to connect at every level of being human and then from there i mean i i'm pretty sure like an evolution would happen which would be really cool that'd be really cool i'd be like whoa can you imagine if we had everyone at the same time be like love yeah can you that would be crazy i've heard i'm sure you've like heard of those stories where like um they have like monks praying at same at the all at the same time like 3000 months or whatever and like the crime rates goes down in the city i've definitely heard i've seen studies on that before yeah same um but just those kinds of scenarios would be like i think that's the i that that's what that's what my work would ideally my like hard work i guess is what it's there for is to like have just more moments of like just people being an absolute like love and even when i can facilitate like we were talking about hosting and how like it's like i have the big house if you're not putting everyone in it like posting it like why do i have a balcony i'm not gonna do anything on it like i'm gonna have all my friends like there and like host people and like why do i have more than one bedroom so i can let my friends be there and like just hosting and having that environment where like we come together and bring like real connection it is so it's it's helping the planet so much more than we know i've got two more questions for you before we go into the final five because i've just there's so many things i can talk to you about uh the first question i want to ask you was around your passion for acting now so you know what right now is making you so passionately curious about acting what is it about roles what is it about your development as an artist that connects you so much to acting it's it's almost like proving to myself how many different persons or identities i can be i think it's like we almost i feel even though i seem outgoing i'm actually quite terrified all the time um and i would say i'm like an ambiver like an in-between but when it comes to acting i don't have a choice like i have to show up as this person if i'm nervous like it doesn't matter and like once i'm not thinking about lines once i'm like in that state where i just like have it memorized to the heart and i can just be there um it's it's similar to flow state i'm sure you've written i've read all i love flow state yeah i love this it is the goal yes for everything always so it puts me in flow state basically i don't there's no time i don't remember i'm not thinking about myself i'm not thinking about my body i'm not thinking there's it's just i'm just here and like similar similar to the way like when you surf like you're on a wave it's like it's those like 30 seconds of just like i blacked out i wasn't even there no and you're saying that you can actually surf so you've actually had that experience like most people use that analogy but we've never served so but you actually said anything yeah yeah just like any but you can actually serve yeah i deserve decently not good enough to the point where i'm like that guy in the surf being like where'd you catch my wave bro i'm like but just those moments like i think i'm right now i'm just searching for those moments in my life i'm just like when am i am i going to forget time here am i going to free a time here and so acting is just one of those things that i've seen is such a powerful and also it's it's best because i think i get to lose track of time with another person and i feel like like connection is so strong for me and so it's like i remember oh my god this was such a cool moment on my first set um it was an older actor he's been around for a long time i'm sure you know him i don't remember his name but he was very very kind and we had a scene together where he was kind of just like um like getting in my face about something um basically saying that i like wasn't worthy or what i don't know and i was just like i got this i got this i got this scene don't worry guys um and he was like getting in my face and i just remember a moment where like we like lost i just it was i just wasn't there and he wasn't there and it was just a pure moment and i wasn't acting and i was actually feeling everything and then afterwards he comes to me and he looked at me at crafty's the little uh snack area he was like you get it he was like you get it don't you i was like yeah and he was like keep doing it kid like keep doing it it's amazing and he was like you get it and he was like he almost it was almost as if he like said like you're closer to source in those moments like and so he looked at me like you get it and i just flipped out after because i was eating banana being like i did it i did it i get it and so after that i was like okay this is like what i meant to do now for now i guess and like we'll see where that goes um but yeah i just once again like the intention the paths change but the intention stays the same so i think that's what keeps me again loved that i just love that yeah i couldn't agree more yeah i think that's been the challenge for so many people we try and keep our path the same and then but we don't know our attention yeah we don't have our attention yeah yeah but keeping your intention the same and the path changing oh i can so relate to that so back to those notes yeah like any intentions that you guys have like any of it just write it down so at least you just know yeah you just know because i forget my intentions of course yeah you have to repeat them daily i repeat them daily in my prayer in my affirmation at the beginning and end of the day i have to exactly exactly and then from there it almost like i and this is this may be a weird belief but i've been seeing this a lot in my life all the best things in my life i didn't work for and i keep seeing that as a pattern i'm like maybe god maybe god doesn't want us to struggle like the way like it's because everything that i've struggled for wasn't meant for me so that's been really interesting of almost being like you take the rings like you take the reins i'll create the intention but you create the story and like i'll trust the path and like whatever that is like let's go like let's make it fun right because like i i do feel like the more you can give to god to like if he if he gives you like a ball a red ball for instance like like if you have fun and you're playing with it he's gonna be like oh he's she's playing with it i'll give her something else like oh and it's just like it's almost like entertain like show him or show the universe that like you're so stoked of what it gave you that it wants to give you more like you almost you know when like you have i have a puppy her name's angel and whenever i give her a treat she's so stoked that i ever treat that i'm like i gotta give you another one and so like i almost feel like that's and then when i walk my dog and she like is not least trained yet so she'll just be like like choking yourself out trying to like go everywhere and i'm just like is this what i look like oh no i learned so much from dogs also when a dog my dog is obsessed with a ball one ball in particular it's gross i can't believe she still has it i'm just like oh my god um so obsessed with this ball and i'm like that is amazing and literally her only goal with this ball is to give it back to me so that i can throw it so she can catch it so i can give it back to her shoot there's there's no point to this whatsoever and so it showed me i was like do it just for the act like don't do it for like the the idea the goal or the dream just just do it and so like whenever i play ball with her i practice that i'm like i'm acting just because it's fun because i just do it or i'm creating this company because it's fun and i just this is just what i do like i just it's just fun and like because every single time i've gotten caught up in like the huge image of things is like when i've lost sight of my heart's path and i'm just like ah yeah so but the greatness isn't within that path like for sure but it's never like the same path as you would see because it's literally just you playing with a ball and you're just like what's the point god yeah like just wait like just keep doing it for fun yeah yeah keep doing it for fun you're doing it for fun and so i almost and like now that i'm 24 i'm i'm in this adult life and i'm just like do i need to get serious now but it's so strong you i feel it heavy on me now yeah i need a schedule i need to wake up this time and god's like no you're not lazy if you sleep in that's a belief let's get rid of that like no you're not like did you no it's just literally i'm now taking off layers that i just got i'm like whoa what is this what and now that i'm coming into my mid-20s i'm just like what is this not supposed to be fun anymore because like that's what i've heard and that's what i like see a lot of times but i just refuse because it's so inspiring to meet i have a few friends that are like i would say like in their 50s or 16s and they're like children having the best in their life yeah and everything works out for them everything works out for them and i'm just like that is if i'm gonna tell a story i'd rather it be like that yeah i've added play back into my life so much like play is like one of my number one values that's why i got a dog in life yeah you're going to the park yes not for the dog for you but you're going to the park yeah i just want more play in my life and there was a there was a beautiful quote by richard branson where he said that you know you don't stop playing because you get old you get old because you stop playing and and i love that because it's it's been so big for me i'm at a place in my life from like i play is a huge value and it sounds insane and people don't get it i just got back from miami i was there for two weeks and we were on a really busy schedule we were working from like 8 a.m to 9 00 p.m every single day but at 9 00 pm every day we'd go and play paddle tennis from 9 to 11 yes and i felt like a kid every night where i was just waiting to be out in the paddle court and i was just like have you ever played paddle tennis okay it's amazing it's it's i i am the biggest advocate of this sport i've introduced many but but play is just such a big value for me now yeah and even when i'm with friends i'm like what can we do that's playful that's playful like we've been i've been doing crazy things with friends like archery and like painting lessons and whatever it is because i just want to play you just want to play and it's it it's it's where we create new passions play is where we create new passions so also boredom i i always am like bornhem is so valuable especially now with our phones and like all of this instant gratification and we've heard a million times and it's all known now but like for real though like i can't even drive without being like don't text and drive but look at all these billboards yeah you know it's weird i'm just like they're telling and it's just all of this is trying everything is trying to get your intention everything is trying to get your attention like to the tea and so i'm like okay how do i work against this and it's only going to get probably more intense i would assume so um so that's like literally i'll say it again that's why i got a dog that's like fully why i got a dog because i was like i need something that's i'm gonna get bad news on the phone i'm like okay bye and then the dog's just like okay here so you know how like in any like disney like movie like pixar whatever there's always a sidekick yes tangled the chameleon like there's a bunny and the abominable snowman yeah there is always like this really funny comical relief olaf in frozen yeah spirit animal yeah i was like i need to i want a sidekick like i want that idiot that's just like running and hitting a wall while i'm trying to like do business like i can we need that like that's so cool yeah so like movies are so powerful in the way that they like kind of they give us characters to like replicate and so i've almost like whenever i watch a movie i'm just like i like that character like that character is really cool like one of the shows that i actually like loved growing up with is entourage yeah okay i've got a funny story to tell you about android so i was a monk when entourage was famous so i never watched it so i didn't know what it was so my wife just made me watch entourage so we literally just finished it it's one of the best shows ever it's amazing yeah i would watch it i i would watch it again i loved it i literally just watched it this year exactly so it's like you have like the characters around you that are just like they're they're so needed and you don't know why but they're so needed like they're so important to the story and that's how i look at all of my friends i'm like you guys are so like creating your your your show like he's like and in a healthy way of course because but it's taught me a lot like as much as hollywood is very um toxic and and dangerous in ways but it's also a great way to get to understand how you want your life show to go like it's just like i can find parts of myself in different like uh have you watched dave yet no oh no no i have what what's the first season not the second yeah i need to get it in my life like he's so funny i was just like he's just like he's there always making jokes always there always holding it together always holding strong like you need that per and sometimes it's you that's that person but i always that really helps me just like understand the the thing i'm doing so it sounds like everyone needs to revisit their childhood or remember and and write a memoir even if it's not a memoir that gets published and goes out to the world it almost feels like reflecting is really important what what helped you were you speaking to friends from back then or were you speaking to your you know who who are you connecting with to to reignite some of those memories oh everyone in the memories you know i called my mom my brother um my cousins who i grew up with friends from the time i corroborated the stories because memory is a weird thing you know i remember it a certain way somebody else remembers it a certain way and there was this one story i remember i was kicked out of moma for touching a painting when i was 15 16 or something and i remember that day being wonderful because we went to the statue of liberty after and like you know we we got hot dogs and we were walking around new york city and i remember it being like oh i touched you know a painting that's so cool that i touched i think it was a starry night and my cousins who were with me remember the day completely differently they were tortured embarrassed my cousin was an art student she was like you got me kicked out of moma and like i was like wow i didn't remember that at all that's brilliant was that your was that your rebellious side or was that a mistake or was it curious just curious i just i feel like rules sometimes and trust me i mean i'm in a public profession i have to follow them but um you know sometimes we conform to rules that just sort of stop our ability to grow and unless it's like hurting someone or something which by touching starry night i probably was hurting the painting but at that time i didn't know the value of the paint the value of the painting just went up it just went up but you know like otherwise i think like you've got to sometimes you have to push the envelope there's been too many generations that have been defined by what people think you know we can achieve or you know limitations that have been imposed because of people not being able to think or dream big enough um and i think it's every generation's responsibility to show the endless possibilities to the next yeah you've definitely done that i mean you're constantly breaking rules in in your career and your journey starting from touching that pain to get moma all the way through today but was that was that an energy and a mindset that you believe you had at that young age or is that something you think you gradually developed where did that confidence come from because when i hear you say today it comes with confidence obviously it comes with having done it and i think there are a lot of people out there who may feel that way but they then also feel insecure that are they the right person to do that do they have permission to do that there's there's something that then still holds them back what was it for you that allowed you to go all the way well two things uh my parents for sure i grew up in an environment where i was not shamed for my ideas um at 12 years old i told my parents i wanted to live in america with my aunt and you know my parents were like bye peace you know it was fine we had a logical pro and con conversation i was raised sort of to have opinions even if the room was hostile um so i think that really gave me a sense of self and i think it's really important in parenting for us to treat our children like they're developing their own minds because that's so important for them to have a sense of self and feel like you know they're not robots but they're actually thinking and they have a say in their decisions it really lends for adults being able to have a sense of confidence and second to really understand and accept that confidence is not something you always need you don't you know so put it in a backpack it's okay give it a break let it be in your purse let it be in your wallet let it chill for a second feel insecure feel like scared just feel afraid feel vulnerable um but when you need the confidence and you walk into that room you'll have it because you didn't keep using it you didn't need to constantly have a you know cover of or um sort of like a uniform of confidence you don't have to always show confidence you don't have to exude confidence you never you don't you just have to pull it out when you need it and then when it's in the reserve it's so much more powerful because you're allowing yourself to be all the things i feel insecure i'm terrified that this book is coming out it's the first time i've ever written and i've never been so personal in my whole life i've been a public person for 20 years never scratched beneath the surface i've gotten away with sharing whatever i wanted to share about my life and not more you know my story is people think they know it but they really don't and i've managed that for 20 years but i think i now on the other side of 35 was feeling a sense of confidence and a sense of self in my capabilities in what i bring to the table it only took 20 years for me to get there but i got there um and i think all those insecurities that i address in my book don't scare me that much anymore as they did at that time as you know they worried me and i was like i don't want to talk about it nobody needs to know about my life and you know but now i'm at a place where i'm just like well it's still on my terms and um you know i'm hoping that people maybe get to know me a little bit more than a fashion meme or a headline or something like that yeah i i think that's what i love about it from the few pages that i've i've flicked through i definitely see you allowing yourself and that's that's the power of a book though and so i relate to that insecurity my first book came out last september i know we know your first book i was i have it i was so oh that's awesome i'm so glad you have it i was i was so nervous so i can i know what you mean by that and especially for you at this stage in your career of yours is a memoir mine had part stories it wasn't a memoir so i can only imagine but i see you doing and books are so powerful for that and that's why i really hope everyone who's listening and watching right now if you're enjoying this conversation go and pick up the book because i do think that media the news the the short meme the clip it portrays such a limited view of of someone like yourself and it's a superficial view really yeah and you and it's okay it's a choice also i yes i want to for people to consume only a part of me you know i want to be able to preserve my humanity my family my life my opinions i may have chosen a public profession but i'm not an elected official i don't owe an explanation to anyone for the choices that i make you know i'm here to create work i'm doing a job just like everybody else mine happens to be in entertainment and it happens to have a lot of cameras on my face it's fine you know i made a i made that deal with the devil so i've kind of made peace with the fact that i i prefer it being from a distance um but at the same time i think now i've been a public person for more than half my life it's my normal and only now have i reached a point where i'm allowing the walls to sort of fall down and letting whoever wants to know me get to know me as the person that i am before that i was very protective of who i was because maybe i was insecure about who i was or i was i still didn't have a sense of self i don't know but i think in the journey of life i've reached a place where you know i'm i'm good with who i am yeah so what's that's wonderful to hear by the way and and i can feel it off your energy what's the part of yourself in this book that you share that you think most people are going to be surprised by where you think that people may just be like what like and i'm sure there's many but but what's something that stands out um it's there there are a few um which i think people may be surprised by that i was vulnerable enough to discuss um and i think my my failures my struggles rejections um sadnesses that um i've never really people have never seen i always wear a brave front most women in like you know tough jobs have to always have like a little bit more of a stronger front um to be taken seriously i built that very early um at 18 to be thrown into the limelight of this job i mean you know it you've been in it for a long time you know it's it's a crazy profession the expectations the pressure um you know to deliver under that scrutiny um to be artistic to yet have a point of view to be unique not you know have your own trajectory because that's the only way it'll work um you know nobody wants me twos in the entertainment business you want new kind of you know you have to always have a sense of evolution so it was really really scary in in the beginning and um i think everything just changes with time and this was one of the good changes that came out of it for me yeah no absolutely and i'm hoping that i wonder do you think that's changing now if someone's coming into the entertainment industry today at 18 or do you think it hasn't changed where's your perception on that when you're guiding young artists or seeing people that you follow on social media or you know whatever it may be are you feeling it's changing has it improved or or no the pressure you mean uh not the pressure more the like you were saying like you when you came to the industry you had to put on a brave front you had to wear that face it was the only way to survive do you feel it's the same now for young talent as well i i think well i was talking about definitely as a female in yeah business oh as a female okay yes um i think so i think um you know um it's still hard when you're starting out for women to be taken seriously for your ideas to be given the kind of credence that um a man's would as quickly probably you know um especially in professions where you you know normally you don't see women because you know women have never been pushed in that direction or women have never wanted to go in that direction because it was never normalized for them that their ambitions could go in that direction business politics um you know to be heads of companies um engineering like you know coding um policy making like stuff like that lawyers women have just about in the last few generations been coming to the fore and you know are standing neck to neck with guys but it's still an anomaly it's still not as normal in terms of numbers it's still not equal so until that happens i think it will be hard for um you know young girls to be sick and taken seriously when they come into professions that are predominantly male um but it's okay um you know women before us have fought the fight and women after us will fight the fight it'll just hopefully not be the same fight hopefully our generation will not let our kids inherit our problems you know um as women um we are definitely working in that direction but i think as the world needs to sit up and take notice that this demand is loud because it's a requirement this demand is loud because that's what's right and that is the reflection of the world women are 50 of it and we should be reflected in um you know every area and basically feminism is that right like don't decide for me what i should be doing when i should be doing it and how i should be doing it just like men have had that freedom give me that as well yeah so i guess it's that sorry completely no no no you're not deviating at all it's a strong message and i stand by it so it's uh it's a great message and and it's really interesting where male privilege is a really interesting thing to reflect on i remember when i first started reflecting on it was a prob even really a few years back and i feel very much i was raised by my mom and i have a younger sister so i'm very close to the women in my life but it started to strike me in a crazy way that i grew up having had certain dreams of becoming something that my sister couldn't have had and and that wasn't because of the way we were parented it was because of what you saw and and when that really hit me and i stood and looked at that and i often encourage a lot of my friends in that direction too i'm like if you really think about if they have a son and a daughter i'm like if you really think about some of the options that don't seem available to your daughter that she may never consider a career and i really think that that consideration is where the equality is like the opportunity of even having that idea of i could do that opportunity of of having choice i think you know a lot of women we are i'm i'm extremely privileged that i was raised by a feminist i'm married to a feminist um i'm extremely privileged that my parents which is why i brought up parenting um earlier a big reason i have a sense of confidence and i am on this side this side of the fight because um it's not as hard as it is on so many women around the world i still had to fight of course i had to break down the doors and i had to you know prove a point to be taken seriously i was kicked out of movies and replaced and you know all the things but i still had it so much easier there are women around the world that don't have a say in their life that are married off when you know other people decide that people choose who they are married to whether they can work or not when they should have children what kind of children they should have and that doesn't mean giving up culture that doesn't mean giving up tradition you know it just means creating opportunity my father told me when i was very very young my mom since i was nine years old you will have financial independence before anything you do it doesn't matter whose daughter you are it doesn't matter um you know who you're married married to you'll stand on your own feet and there's such a power to that um to having you know to be raised by parents who put that in my head so i was ambitious from 12 years old i decided every year what i wanted to be and it changed every year i i love hearing that and i it reminded me of something you've said before when you were speaking about your father there about how uh nick for you shares this same admiration of your power and and your ambition and and feels you know supportive and excited and enthusiastic about the way you carry yourself tell us a bit about how i feel like that's such an important thing for both them anyone in a relationship to feel like their partner is inspired by their values their beliefs and their dreams what has it felt like in the past where you feel like you haven't had that and if someone who's listening or watching is feeling like maybe i don't have that how does how do you think someone can navigate that or to ultimately attract the partner that that does have that what's that journey like because i think a lot of people feel like they're with someone who may not understand or get their dreams especially when they're starting out then it's the wrong person for you and if you have the um especially if you're starting out and you know you're testing the waters and i think it's so crucial if you have a choice in your life to end up with someone who is not like enthused by your dreams is at least interested in them is at least excited about them or you know is at least um encouraging like that's that's exciting um because you know everyone's busy and everyone has a thing in their lives but to take to make the effort to um to make the effort to make you feel like your dreams are as important as the other one is such a gift and um i have been very blessed to have that you know i find wherever you are in your relationship obviously you and nick lead extremely busy lives you know my wife and i lead busy lives and i feel even if someone's not in the entertainment industry or the media industry everyone feels like they live busy lives what does support look like when two people are busy driven and ambitious because you obviously have it you're speaking about it right now and it's beautiful what does that actually look like in a real practical sense obviously the last six months or the last 12 months have been different but in reality what does that look like because i feel that maybe sometimes we have false expectations sometimes you want you know it's not natural that you can be at every show nick does it's not natural for him to be at every set you're doing same with me and my wife like my wife can't be at every event i'm speaking at i can't be at every uh interview or something she's doing what does support look like what does love look like in a very real practical sense i think when it comes to support specifically i think giving the other person the space um to do what they're doing is very important without you know them feeling like oh my like for example i'm here in london for a year right now and nick is filming in la um and i can't travel but before the hall he made sure he was here for two months to settle me in you know to make sure that the house was all set up and everything was sorted and we were together for the holidays that's because he was free um at the end of the month and that support um you know it doesn't have to be large it doesn't have to be uh um you know a big expression of i don't know love and or big gifts it's not it's it's about giving space it's about giving freedom it's about appreciation and i find this one thing really helpful um i always think about when you know he's busy or he's having a crazy day which i he does for me as well which is amazing and everyone can follow this and it's super easy um is to think about how can i make that person's day easier just like and that's such a lovely loving thing just sometimes i'm you know back to back especially when i was doing promo i was doing like 20 interviews and suddenly there'd be like a really nice cocktail that would come in in the evening or suddenly there would be a really nice like cup of coffee or you know something to eat for me that would come in and it's just like so sweet to think about that or if i'm sitting outside you know you'll bring a blanket and put it it's just being thoughtful and aware about your person and you know that's the greatest form of love is showing it without really asking for it yeah that's such a great piece of advice i love that to be you you said to be thoughtfully aware and i think that's that's so true and and the beautiful thing about everything you just said is that it's it's free it's cheap it's small it's simple it's in it's it's exciting it's the best gift yeah and it's the best gift yeah when you feel like someone's in tune with you and and your emotions and how you feel how you might be tired or how you might be sleepy or how you might be cold like those small things when you feel someone's aware and and i love that piece of advice i think it's something that everyone's definitely learned more about in the pandemic where we're exposed to each other tell me a bit about the the title unfinished because i obviously it leads to your determined ambitious voice but what other parts of your growth uh maybe internally personally do you feel you're unfinished on or working on i mean so much i've just about you know i'm in my 30s and this decade has been amazing because um i've just you know found my strengths i think as a woman and um what i'm looking forward to going forward is i'm very nascent in my career in america right now it's just been five years since i've started working here i just about have done my first you know leading feature film i've just about done my first dramatic part here um i want to be able to build you know the kind of career that i had the good fortune of building in another amazing industry um in india i've done such a variety of roles there worked with the best filmmakers best actors i want to be able to have that experience here so i'm like my artistic side now that i've started on this journey in this part of the world is peaked to be able to do that as well as a producer i want to be able to create um a lot more south asian content in hollywood i just i didn't see enough parts for myself i didn't see enough of it on tv and considering um how large the south asian population is in around the world and how english speaking we are you know english language entertainment should be reflecting that so i want to be able to tell stories in india as well and as here i want to build as an entrepreneur it's something i didn't do you know up until now because i was building my acting career so much so you know founding my own brand um investing in tech i find that really fascinating um my philanthropy i want to be able to set up my foundation really well um my work with unicef um i've just about moved into our new house um after almost 10 to 15 years of living in rentals or hotel rooms you know because i always just kept moving i was so nomadic um i'm looking forward to you know watching the trees grow in my garden [Music] i love that watch it watching trees grows great i love that that's brilliant i hearing you hearing you say that uh i love hearing you talk about the south asian storytelling like obviously that that relates very strongly to me and my roots growing up in london as well where i think we have an incredibly strong south asian community where you are right now where i was born and raised and i definitely felt this yeah lack of lack of representation lack of the ability to lack of opportunity lack of opportunity to dream in a certain way and you know my my career has been totally random but it's and and you know i'm doing something today that i would never have imagined even knowing it existed see even that you and i two south asians sitting in these boxes and talking about the fact that the careers that we are thriving in that we have worked so hard to make was never in our minds was never a possibility but i would have never dreamed about it because it wasn't in my realm of dreaming but that's not how it should be considering the we're one-fifth of the world's popular we're huge we're everywhere okay and i think and it shouldn't be so hard for me to you know come into an industry and say i want an opportunity and for people to be like oh well we're gonna have to create that now won't we we've existed for a really long time you know it's the irony of it is so amusing but sad at the same time yeah no that resonates very strongly with me because i didn't even know any careers existed and and when i say this i i don't say it lightly i genuinely didn't believe careers existed out outside of medicine engineering and business like i didn't really know i didn't know that you could have a successful career in anything else at 17 when i was it was a fluke why i got got into the miss india pageant and that kind of kick started everything for me but i wanted to be an engineer because those were the options doctor engineer lawyer and you know if you come from an academic family of or failure um if you come from an academic family or you know our parents our immigrants and our parents like my parents even in india were you know building their businesses for the first time it wasn't inherited from them so they also were surviving and i think it's that survival instinct that sort of pushed them to put the aspirations that they knew best you know on their kids like this is the best job you'll always make money you will be stable yes you know but also the internet sort of changed our um i think our generation the the fact that the internet made the world such a small place which is another big reason why we should see so much more representation is because we are catering to the whole world now what was different about your ability to break out and and i'm not saying and i you know you're not an egotistic person i'm not asking you to be autistic i'm asking you to share lessons what was different in that you were able to break out and do something that now you're more aligned with who you want to be as the future moves on versus the people that don't make that step what is the difference i think it was abandoning any connection to practicality and really living in faith you know it really tested my faith it because the reason i was able to do it is because and this is with julie's help was because i embraced the fact that it was a spiritual journey fundamentally so yes i left being a lawyer and i became this ultra endurance athlete and author and podcaster but it wasn't because when i was a lawyer i got out my whiteboard and created a wish list or you know basically tried to you know create this is my dream scenario for my life i just started engaging in what i felt was more aligned with my unique blueprint and with that i would start pulling on the threads that would appear every day and i was tested it was very difficult we went through incredible financial dismantling like i was tested in every regard you can imagine people saying i was crazy all of it right but by having faith and trusting in that sense of what was right for myself and and learning to listen to and rely on that instinctual voice i think taught me a lot about who i am and also about resolve and ultimately i think that's why i was able to see it through so if you look on the internet it kind of looks like it all happened like this like overnight i just made this decision and became this other thing this is this was like i mean i've been doing this for you know 15 years at this point and i got sober at 31 it really began when i went to rehab at age 31 and started to re-configure my life based on spiritual principles and here i am 22 23 years later still learning still growing still making mistakes so it's very much not an overnight thing and it's all a spiritual journey and what is your faith in at that time because it's almost like most people when they're in that transition it's like you don't really have faith in yourself or you may not have faith in your skills like is your faith in the belief that doing the right thing is the right thing either way or is your faith in the fact that you have your wife who's supportive like what is that faith in because i feel like that's the hardest thing for people and i can only speak for myself that i knew that my faith was in the guidance of my teachers my faith was in the books that i'd read and the philosophy i believed in and my faith was in there's a beautiful beautiful verse in a text called the manusmithi which says that if you protect your purpose your purpose protects you right and that was what my faith was in was that statement and i was like i'm gonna test that statement to its limits but that statement requires that you understand what your purpose is correct yes and i very much did not know what that's what i'm saying what was your faith in so well first of all i will say that i was on a i was on a journey to discover what that purpose was and i had a fundamental belief that that i did have a per that there is or was a purpose for me to discover and i used endurance training as a vehicle for that process of self-discovery because there's something about being out on a trail for hours and hours and hours around an eight-hour bike ride you're stripped of all artifice and the kind of low-grade suffering that you experience forces you to confront yourself in a very honest way right and you meet yourself in a place that you're not used to and there's a lack of of artificiality and artifice in that place where you can be really honest like you're you're you're wrestling with your soul at the most profound level i think and and that's what attracted me to this world and that's what helped me answer all of these questions getting comfortable in that crucible but if i had to say what is the philosophy philosophical belief that kind of underpins that i would say that we are here to grow and we are here to on a journey of greater self-actualization and the closer we can approximate that place of self-actualization the better position we are in to express our unique blueprint and purpose in service to other human beings right and for me it's been a process of trying to uncover what that is for me and then ultimately bring greater expression to that for the betterment of other people what does it feel like right now that is for you compared to when you first started on this path where's the evolution of that yeah well it's interesting because for a long time it was like oh you're the vegan ultra endurance athlete guy and it's like yeah i am and i did those things um but that's just one expression of who i am and the podcast you know much like your show has been about trying to continue that growth and to understand that that i was able to do those things in the endurance world because i understood that we are all sitting on top of gigantic reservoirs of human potential that remain untapped and i was able to tap into that aspect of myself in an athletic context and express that but there are all these other areas of untapped potential in my life and in my friends people that i meet everybody's life right and i wanted to continue that growth curve and that learning process of of tapping into those other areas spiritually mentally emotionally intellectually socially every aspect of what it means to be as self-actualized as we possibly can and what do we do that you've mentioned that a few times now like you know it's interesting that when you achieve something your identity becomes crafted around it so it's almost like you're that healthy vegan dude and you know like you do like and then and i can see that there's a part of you that almost there's a part of you that's like but that's not all of me and and i'm more than that yeah i don't want to be defined by sucker how do you process that because i think a lot of people struggle with that whether it's their past failures or their past successes that start to define everything about who they attract in their life who they spend time with what opportunities they come their way i mean i'll give an example of something that's coming to my mind right now is when uh when we had kobe bryant on the show and kobe started to talk about how like and this this was huge for me he was saying basically no one believed that he could make tv or movies or media because he was a basketball player they're like what do you know about this space and so when he was trying to sell these shows no one wanted to buy them and that's why he had to build his own studio and that's where he was building the studio for dear basketball and he was writing these novels and these books that were then being turned into movies and tv shows and podcasts so he even someone like him was totally being pigeonholed and defined how do you process that for yourself and how do you help other people process anyone who feels limited by their past failures but also limited by their past successes well a couple things yeah first of all um that identity or whatever it is that's looming out there is just a story it's only as powerful as as you allow it to be right you always have control over that narrative or how strongly you want to be reminded of a certain identity you can always recraft that you only have control over your own behaviors and your own thoughts and your own interactions with other human beings you can't control how other people perceive you that's none of your business so if you're unhappy with the story that's being told about you all you can do is act in contravention of that you can't control how other people perceive that but you can control the story you tell yourself about who you are so it's about becoming you know you you hear the adage of like be the be the movie star in your own movie of the movie of your life right and understand that at any given moment you that these stories are just they're drawn out of thin air they're they're they're they're not real this is a projection that comes from a collective imagination so change the story if you don't like it and if you don't like this story that other people are telling about you you can mute that and just do your own thing so when i didn't you know when i didn't want to be pigeonholed as the vegan you know athlete i just started a podcast and started talking about other stuff you know and then seven years later that's still a thing but you know i'm known for other things now yeah people will fall into line you know with with that you know based upon your behavior and your actions yeah with your identity the way it is right now what are you most excited to not be known for but be acknowledged for what you're doing like for yourself not from other people not for the external validation but what are you most excited about doing for yourself just continuing to learn you know i just i want to be a lifelong learner and i think that that growth curve you know always exists and there's always people out there that you can uh that you can take valid information and tools from to improve your life so i don't spend a lot of time thinking about how i want to be perceived no of course um but i think that uh and and people ask me like oh what's the what's the vision where do you see yourself in five it's like i don't think about that like i'm so fulfilled in doing what i'm doing right now and the fact that i get to be on this personal growth trajectory by having amazing conversations with incredible human beings and then you get to share that with other people and it impacts them i mean i don't know about you but i can't think of anything more um you know more gratifying any any kind of career trajectory that would be more gratifying than that what's the most interesting thing you learned recently whether it was a skill or a technique or a fact or a stat or some research that blew your mind or some experience that just really changed the way you were thinking about something i'd probably go back to kamal ravikant like him and his simple practices of learning how to love himself like he went he walked me through these experiences where he really hit rock bottom emotionally in a very in in a couple different ways throughout his life and how these very basic simple easy to apply practices have transformed how he sees the world and experiences the world i think is really profound because of its sheer simplicity and power do you think based on that what you just said now humans only change through pain i get that a lot i mean pain is pain is is is the best motivator for change obviously and i think the biggest changes that i've made in my life have really been forged through pain i'm stubborn like i don't i'm not going to change until you know my whole world is falling on top of me and then oh yeah okay i guess i need to modify that but it is amazing how human beings are wired that way because the possibility of change exists in every moment right and yet we seem incapable or or challenged in our ability to leverage that unless we're being pressured by some external force to do so yeah if someone's listening or watching right now but is feeling like they're a safety secure stability motivated individual and they're like oh that's just too much risk for me it's like even the spiritual faith everything you guys are talking about like that's just you know to live in that uncertainty to live with that much faith to to push to that degree what what are your advice for them like what would you say to that kind of well i would say that security is an illusion i think people that are focused on security have control issues they think that they can control the world outside of themselves and their own behavior and i think that is a a vast illusion that is an epidemic in our culture i think in every moment we have this sense of i'm good things are static like i can just stay in this place and the truth is with every breath with every thought that we entertain with every word that comes out of our mouth we're either growing as an individual or we are regressing that's the truth right and there is no security everything is a risk we're here for a very short period of time so my call to action to everybody is don't wait until you find yourself in some existential crisis because you've been living your life based upon some you know social rule book that doesn't fit your own blueprint instead embrace what is uniquely you and have the courage and the fortitude and the faith to try to bring expression to that it may be scary and it might contravene what your parents want for you and it might seem risky but ultimately i think the riskiest thing to do is to play it safe and live your life in accordance with you know somebody else's expectations of what you should do and be how did you know that you'd found something about yourself that was uniquely you like you've said that a few times now uniquely you how how do you know when something is uniquely you because i feel like so many of us are either so influenced by everything that's happening or we just i feel like we've lost our ability to talk to ourselves and know that that's our voice yeah right like it's like most people when you hear a voice they hear a voice in their head they don't know if that's them or something else and they can't tell the difference so what are those indicators or signals where you're like yeah that i'm getting closer even if i'm not it's a really good question um and i don't have like a simple pithy answer sure i think it's i think it's hard you know i think you're correct in that we're so distracted you know our phones are always in our hands there's always a reason to not be present with ourselves and the more detached we become the more difficult it is to know what that internal voice is so i think the process of of of trying to understand what is uniquely you know what is unique about jay involves that looking inward process right it's about meditation and mindfulness and getting quiet and trying to you know spend time uh contemplating like what was it that made you happy as a kid like what did you like to do when you were left to your own devices that now you feel like you haven't done in a long time or would be foolish as an adult to spend time doing and maybe there's a lesson there for you to see you know i don't know i can't answer that for you yeah but i know that those answers reside within all of us and in order to heed them or get clarity you really have to you really have to have the discipline to um carve out that kind of quiet time solitude with yourself what's the best advice you've received on solitude on the podcast is there anyone you remember that kind of you just felt embodied solitude the best or that kind of quiet or that yeah i mean there's been a couple people you know of course you have like meditation masters like sharon salzberg i think maybe the most profound though in in in the most grounded way was you've all know harare basically talking about how like clarity is a superpower and now because we're so distracted distraction is our natural disposition to just be clear and quiet to have presence of mind to have clarity about what you think about a particular thing is a superpower where that used to just be normal right yeah which kind of makes it easier to distinguish yourself because all you have to do is put the phone away learn how to be quiet learn how to connect with your internal voice and that makes you much more capable than the person sitting next to you what was the conversation that surprised you the most was anyone that not blew your mind but just surprised you with a belief that maybe something you held true when you spoke to them they they changed your mind on it was there anyone like that that changed your mind on something that you thought was very concrete in your life or i'm always fascinated by our beliefs and how they can shift like i've always considered myself to be someone who it's like i felt like when i was spiritually immature i felt like i had my beliefs and they were the answers and then nothing else was true yeah what i believed was true and anyone else's answers were completely false right and then as i started to grow more you start to realize you know nothing and you're like okay i don't know anything now because i'm not really sure about any of these beliefs and then you get to a point where it's like well i have some values and beliefs they work for me and now i'm willing to trade and upgrade based on what i'm exposed to because now i learned that i need to have a map or a guidebook or a rulebook that works because you need that for life yeah but then i hear someone say something and i'm like ah like that has just opened up my mind in a completely different way i think um in addition to that what happens when you're confronted with a truth that contravenes your your world view the first thing that it does is it pushes that cognitive bias button and you're like that can't be right because this is the way i see the world right so you feel the resistance coming up so for you to say oh wow i didn't think of it that way and to embrace that difference of opinion or perspective i think is the healthiest thing to do so for me it's less about oh here's an example and more about trying to be in that place of of empathy and compassion and openness and to notice when i feel like my resistance creeping up whether it's somebody who has a different you know nutritional or dietary perspective than i do or somebody who uh you know was able to get sober and maintain their sobriety you know by way of a protocol that is at odds with like how i think it should be done you know what i mean yeah and to just be like the world's a big place the human condition is is multi-varied like i don't have all the answers and to be able to sit with somebody who's coming from a different perspective and try to find mutual ground and meet them where they're at with compassion and with empathy i think is really powerful it's something that i'm always endeavoring to do with whatever guess that i have on my show and i think it's what's sorely lacking in our culture right now and i think if there's anything that i'm trying to do with my show and the example that i set with how i conduct my conversations is to say look if we want to move forward as a healthy culture as a healthy society we have to be able to meet each other in our differences with compassion with understanding that doesn't mean that we do it with unhealthy boundaries but we have to be able to have mature conversations about our differences because this polarization and the separation that we're seeing and the unhealthy siloing of opinions i think is really polluting and denigrating our ability to move forward as a as a healthy society and is deeply concerning to me yeah i'm so with you on that i think that's that's a great answer because yeah that that lack of judgment and openness and just stopping yourself from like you said letting your your controls creep in that's probably the hardest thing right because you've been on a train of thought or a school of thought since you were a kid and it's built and built and built and it's got you to somewhere which is probably okay and then all of a sudden come someone comes and just surprises you with the no what's been the best way you've found apart from having conversation on the podcast have you found that people are able to create their openness in their own lives is it more travel is it watching things that you wouldn't watch like what have you seen that like how can we encourage that more for people to be okay with exposing themselves to opposing ideas without placing judgment on them yeah it's tough i mean i think travel is a big one right investing in experience um people who have who have you know done that tend to have broader views and perspectives and and more open-minded are more open-minded about a variety of issues than people just stay in one place and have their news feed yeah and even who they follow on their newsfeed because that again if it's diverse you you're again meeting diverse people there too right yeah thank you so much for watching that video if you enjoyed it here's another one i think you'll love go in there go into the suffering go into the pain of your life and say why did this suck for me so bad why am i afraid of all this stuff the only way you're going to fix yourself is to go all the way back

Channel: Jay Shetty Podcast

Views: 701,489

Keywords: Jay Shetty, Jay Shetty Podcast, Jay Shetty Interview, On Purpose Podcast, Jay Shetty Inspiration, Jay Shetty Motivation, Jay Shetty Video, Self help, Self improvement, Self development, entrepreneur, success habits, purpose podcast, Jay Shetty relationships

Id: 29tr2FOrw1Y

Length: 141min 41sec (8501 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 09 2022