TRY IT FOR 1 DAY! Affirmations for Success, Confidence, Self Love & Happiness | Mel Robbins

if you expect to achieve your goals if you expect to reach your potential if you expect to have your dreams come true what about just explained to you is mission critical you must become a master at visualization now for those of you that are like what the heck is she talking about I did not sign up for some sort of meditation woo spiritual thing here don't worry this is Mel Robbins there's always science and research involved in everything that I talk about so visualization is a extraordinarily powerful skill and you may have heard of the law of attraction you may have heard of the word visualization you may have heard of the word manifesting I call it seeing signs so I'm a master at seeing positive signs I am a master of creating coincidences I have the world's most incredible luck you want to know why because I understand the science and the skill of visualization I know that your brain it is a gigantic detective machine your brain is a filter your brain is constantly looking for evidence and that's good news it's good news when you know how to use it to your advantage let me explain so your brain has a system in it here's the technical term it's called the reticular activating system it is a network of neurons all up in here and what is the job of the reticular activating system it is a filter system it's basically a system that allows certain information in your brain it blocks out other information and guess who programmed that filter you did and so did the people from your past and so if you constantly feel like you're unlovable guess what your reticular activating system is going through the day and it is going to point out every single piece of evidence that confirms that negative belief that you have if your goal is to improve your self-worth I want you to visualize what your life looks like and how you're going to feel about yourself when your self-worth has improved here's how you're going to do it so there's two things that you have to do when it comes to visualization you have to close your eyes truly I know it sounds stupid but I want you to close your eyes and I want you to in your mind have a specific picture of what it looks like in your life when your self-worth has improved you're gonna see yourself speaking up at work you're gonna see yourself talking more about your business you're gonna see yourself leaving bad relationships you're gonna see yourself defining boundaries you're gonna see yourself going to the gym you're gonna see yourself taking care of yourself and when you start to visualize the image of that I want you to consciously this is step to consciously think of the positive emotions that you're gonna feel I'm gonna feel happy I'm gonna feel proud I'm gonna stand taller I'm going to be so grateful that I made this change marrying the the specific picture oh there I am there I am I'm I'm it I'm at work and I'm raising my hand amazing I'm sharing my tea there I am I'm gay promotion there I am asking for a raise there I am I've just signed up another customer to my business there I am I've gone back to school I feel so good about myself when you do that here's what's actually happening in your brain this is the cool science part you are training your brain to have a totally different filter you see your brain my brain it doesn't know the difference between something that actually happened to you like the f you got in your test in tenth grade and the things you imagine that are happening to you let me say that again your brain doesn't know the difference between the bad things that actually happen to you the real memories that you have and an imagined memory that you're creating your brain will experience you visualizing going to the gym you visualizing how happy you feel when you do you visualizing asking for that raise and getting it and how proud you're going to feel your brain when you visualize in the way that I'm teaching you to it it encodes it as a real memory and that's important because when you encode it as a real memory it changes the filter system that reticular activating system and here's what we know based on research the more you visualize things number one the greater your confidence is going to be the greater security you're gonna have about it and here's the really cool thing the more you do this with your goals you wake up every day and you just visualize for it takes 30 freaking seconds for crying out loud you visualize having a great day at school you visualize curing your panic how proud you're going to be what studies suggest and have proven is that simply visualizing yourself doing things actually develops the skill and helps you improve the skills just as if you were actually doing it the problem with passion is that you and I have bought into this massive fantasy world where we think that passion is a person or a place or a thing that somehow like a needle in a stay hat and a needle in a haystack that you are somehow just going to stumble into the thing and you're gonna find that one person are you gonna find that one thing that you're meant to do or you're gonna find that career and honestly we got to change the way that you think about passion and purpose before you will actually be able to bring it into your life because the truth is passion isn't in a person it isn't in a place and it isn't in a thing it's something inside of you and when you flip the definition of what passion is and when you actually understand what you're looking for when you say I want to discover my passion then you'll be able to create more of it in your life I started thinking about luck because there are for a long time in my life I started to think that luck was for other people that luck was just one of those things that if you were lucky enough to be born with luck you won the lottery you got the job you wanted your family got along the truth is there's a tremendous amount of science behind luck that luck is something that you can make for yourself that you can become luckier based on the things that you do and the things that you think about and one of the things about lucky people is a lot of lucky people make their luck because they have trained themselves to think optimistically and one small trick that you can use in your life that is free you can do it today is when you go to bed tonight before you go to sleep I want you to write down one thing that happened today that was good that's it every night before you go to bed I want you to write down one thing that happened today that's good in fact let's do it right now in the comments go to the comments and tell me one thing that has happened today that you can think of that's good just one thing maybe you got up on time maybe you didn't have traffic today on the way to work maybe you haven't fought with your kids this morning maybe you got to the gym maybe you woke up and for the first hour of the day you didn't make yourself wrong all of those things while they're really little don't dismiss them because those are things that are good and the reason why I want you to start a practice where every night before you go to bed or if you don't want to do it at night do it in the morning every night before you go to bed write down one thing that happened today that was good the reason why you're doing this is you are training yourself to start to spot the good believe it or not training yourself to start to look for the good in your life fundamentally trains your mind away from looking at negative so that you start seeing this thing that's positive about your life versus that thing that's negative about your life you're never ever ever ever going to feel like doing the things you need to do in order to have what you want you're always going to need to push yourself you're always going to need to parent yourself so what is the net advice on this what what is the bottom line the bottom line is no one's coming no one no one's coming to push you no one's coming to tell you to turn the TV off no one's coming to tell you to get out the door and exercise nobody's coming to tell you to apply for that job that you've always dreamt about nobody's coming to write the business plan for you it's up to you and because you're only ever gonna do the things that you feel like doing right now or that feel good right now unless you understand that you've got to parent yourself you got to push yourself you're not gonna make your dreams come true you're just not we're not wired that way you weren't born that way your work that way when you're going up and you're certainly not that way as an adult and there's a tremendous amount of liberation that comes when you accept the fact that you're always going to need to give yourself a push the truth is if you want control in your life if you want to make things happen you have to be able to expect that you're gonna get a no and do it anyway so what do I mean when I say if you want control expect an oh well there's a couple things that I mean by it number one if you're somebody that gets paralyzed because you want things to be perfect perfectionism is a way that most of us try to handle or mitigate or make sure that we don't hear no we assume that if we're perfect everything's gonna go okay and so we spend all of our energy thinking about our dating profile or thinking about the business plan or thinking about how to make things perfect and the reason why we do that is we're terrified to hear now we're terrified to put something out there that's not perfect because if it's not perfect you might get an O one of the better ways to handle this is to actually expect an O you know I saw the most incredible quote by our friend Faustina over in Australia she's very famous VJ and friend of ours from Australia and she put out the most amazing quote and I'm gonna get it totally wrong but it's something like this you have to be yourself because how else are the people who are looking for you gotta find you and I think particularly when it comes to dating what we tend to do is we are so afraid of being rejected by anybody out there that we try to be somebody that we're not that we put out a fake improved or what we think is improved version of ourselves in order to not hear no and most of us pretend to be somebody that we're not when we fear rejection when we believe that how we are who we are isn't good enough and so that's why it's so important for you to understand that you have to be willing to hear a no you have to be willing to hear a no from the wrong people so that the people that are looking for you can find you so that the people who want to be part of your business can be part of your business if you're putting a fake person out there or a pretend perfect person out there because you think that's gonna that's gonna save you from rejection you're actually screwing yourself over you're not a procrastinator you have a habit of procrastinating big difference because if it's a habit I can teach you to use science to break it you see all habits have three parts there's a trigger and in the case of procrastination the triggers always stress then there's a pattern you repeat and in the case of procrastination it is to avoid doing something and then there's a reward you get a little stress relief the only way to break a habit you guys is not to deal with the triggers you're never gonna get rid of the stress in your life but you can 100% change your pattern of avoiding work so next time that you're in a situation where you feel yourself hesitate you spent way too much time checking out the highlights from last night's scores what you're gonna do is you're gonna go up I must be stressed out about something acknowledge the stress then go 5 4 3 2 1 I want you to count to yourself because I want you to interrupt the habit that's stored here and I want you to awaken your prefrontal cortex then I want you to just work just for five minutes the reason why I want you to only work for five minutes is because your problem isn't working it's the habit of avoiding I just need you to start and here's the other cool thing we know based on research that if we can get you to start 80% of you are going to keep going do it anyway is a mindset trick that you can use when you start to feel excuses rolling up it works a lot like the five-second rule so you have said to yourself okay I'm gonna talk to my boss today about that thing that I've been avoiding talking to them about or maybe you've said something like I'm gonna go to the gym today or tomorrow whatever and then the moment comes where you've got to have that conversation where the moment comes where it's time to pack up your bag and leave your desk and go to the gym and what always happens you don't feel like it I bet there are plenty of you watching that have made a commitment that yeah I'm not gonna have a drink today and then guess what happens when you get home you don't feel like not drinking you feel like having a drink and so here's what do it anyway has done for me the idea that I just do it anyway has pushed me to realize and to recognize that there are a lot of moments where there are things in my life that I really want to do I need to do I should do but when the moment comes I don't feel like it and so I pull out this idea of you know what I'm just gonna do it anyway it's raining outside I said I would go for a short run I don't feel like it I'm gonna do it anyway it's six o'clock in the morning I'm tired it's cold I laid out my yoga clothes but now I don't feel like it what do I do I do it anyway when you start to say to yourself I'm gonna do it anyway what happens is something really cool you acknowledge that there are feelings that you have that are trying to swoop in and hijack you you acknowledge them and you basically say guess what I'm gonna do it anyway the one person that is diminishing your ability to make these dreams of reality is you because when you state your dream this is what happens you state it and then all of a sudden you're present to how far away you are from it and when you see the distance between where you are and where you want to go the direction that your dream requires you to walk in you're gonna get present to the gap and that scares us that's where fear comes into play and you start to think of all the reasons why you know survey to start to think of all the reasons why you can't do it all that you have to do in order to start to pursue your dreams is take small actions every day that align your life in that direction so what does that mean if you want to play guitar professionally it means that you start playing guitar more it means that you sign up for open mic nights it means that you go back to classic if that's something that interests you you see your dreams will happen either because of you or in spite of you they don't happen because of other people they happen because of you and what you do the second you have the bravery to state that dream now are you going to create it or are you going to diminish it in your mind here's your new definition of passion passion is simply energy that's all that it is okay passion is what you feel when you are energized and excited about what you're doing okay I want you to think about that for a minute I want you to think about a moment in time when you felt incredibly passionate about something okay and why don't you in the comments tell me where are you watching from and tell me about a moment in time when you felt incredibly passionate about what you were doing about where you were about the people that you are with describe that moment for me because when you start to really investigate passion as energy this is what you're going to discover those moments when you are super passionate like I'm sure my kids would write down when they're doing community theater with all their friends I would write down whatever I'm doing any kind of creative project with my team I'm incredibly energized whenever I'm doing group exercise stuff climbing a mountain doing a 5k race doing some sort of walkathon I'm incredibly energized by that whenever I'm doing some sort of creative project incredibly energized by that whenever I'm working with our video team in credibly energized by that whenever I am coaching someone or giving advice I am incredibly energized by that and so what I want you to understand is that if you look back on your life you have had moments where you have felt passion I'm being very deliberate and how I'm talking this morning on coffee talk because passion is a huge topic for so many of you and you've been so focused on trying to figure out what job is gonna make me passionate what job is my passion what is my purpose on the earth I'm gonna tell you what your purpose on earth is right now your purpose on earth is to figure out how to align your life so that you feel more energized and excited by it that's it and it begins with you following the energy and following your natural enthusiasm you're not gonna think your way to passion you can't think your way to finding something that you feel in your heart it doesn't work that way you got to feel your way into it it's inside of you do you understand there's no passion out there somewhere the passion is in here and so what you have to do first is you've got to stop thinking that you're gonna find it somewhere and you've got to realize that passion is about unlocking something that's already in you you or in your home and then we go to kindergarten and then you go to first grade and then you go to second grade and then you go to third grade and then you're gonna fourth grade and then you go to fifth grade and then you go to middle school and then you go to high school and then there's the pressure to go to college or to a tech school or to do something else and then you get your job and then you're in your job and then you meet somebody and then you get married and then you're supposed to buy the house and then you're supposed to have the kids and maybe you get the dog before the kids are after the kids but then you have a second kid and then you have the 0.5 kid because it's both of us do 2.5 kids and then we get and then we get the the home equity line and then we put the kitchen addition on and then we I mean it's like our entire lives are set out in this linear progression as people chase the dream and particularly for those of us who are triggered by the fear of losing control it's only natural to anchor your feeling of being in control to chasing the next thing and so not only are we all socialized to believe that we're supposed to climb this ladder we're supposed to do things in a linear progression we're supposed to get to the next thing we've also been marketed to by society that will be happier if we have a new car we'll be happier if we have a better dishwasher we'll be happier if we have the skin lotion that's got the almond scent and we are also psychologically anchoring our sense of control and our sense of happiness on achieving those things and what you're experiencing is no different than what millions and millions and millions of us experience and that's that emptiness that you feel when you buy the lotion that smells like almond butter and it doesn't make you happy or you get the promotion and you have an extra hundred bucks in your paycheck after taxes and it means you can buy the 14 dollar Chardonnay not the ten dollar shorten Chardonnay and it doesn't make you happy and the reason why is the I'll be happy when life the chase the carrot life the get to the next thing life that form of happiness requires you to be driving let's use the car analogy again to be going 60 miles an hour at all times and Happiness is achieved through a different formula it happens when you're sitting at the light and you're idle when you're in the moment doing things that make you happy and that's being with people that you care about it's engaging in experiences that make you happy and it's just working on things that are important to you if you want some more affirmations with Edie mine let check out the video right there next to me I think you'll enjoy it continue to believe and I'll see you there so there's this Governor on our lives and it is a governor and it's a it's your identity it's this internal it's what you think you're worth it's what you think you deserve

Channel: Evan Carmichael

Views: 1,976,287

Keywords: entrepreneur, yt:cc=on, evancarmichael

Id: pNEG8c3bQiU

Length: 23min 42sec (1422 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 14 2020