THIS WILL BREAK YOUR HEART... 💔 (Viewer Discretion Advised)

[Music] I wish that all the things that I'm about to  say weren't in real but they are indeed real they   happened there are some of the reasons why I  haven't been posting on social media if there   is kids watching or you're a very sensitive  person please view your discretion is advice   so if you're sensitive don't watch this video  I'm about to say really hard things not easy   to hear neither to say it I'm just going  to start but please be respectful before   you make a comment just think twice the  reason why I took a break from social   media for almost a half of a year is because on  September 8th I received a call telling me that Philip he was my husband and partner for almost  10 years took his life he committed suicide these   news were unreal to me I couldn't even believe  that this was real but guys it is real and I   know a lot of you that are watching you used  to follow this channel since the beginning   and you know who Philip is he was my person  and I suffer a lot when he decided to break   up I really didn't understand what was going  on really in his head cuz nothing makes sense   there is no doubt that I love Phillip with all  my heart and I didn't even want the divorce I   even told him the last day I saw him at court  if he was really sure about this decision and   he told me that he was happier without me  so I don't understand anything I truly don't and I'm completely broken guys and I'm trying  to be strong but this is beyond my my strength   you know sorry I need a break even though we got  divorced I still had hopes that we will become   good friends in the future After Time passed  because obviously when you just get divorced   sometimes things are a little rough but I had  hope that we will be able to become friends and   I'm shattered I don't even know what I supposed  to do with myself with my life what I supposed   to think I try my hardest to not get a divorce I  try my hardest to not separate I tried my hardest   to show him that I love him even when he didn't  want me anymore it is extremely hard to keep going   with this video These are some devastating news  for anyone that knew him when someone committed   suicide it is extremely painful because you always  think that that is something that could have been   done I couldn't even be close to him because  he didn't want me around he pushed me away he   divorce me I don't even know how to describe how  I feel I feel like I don't have a heart anymore I   feel like it's completely broken and in pieces  in many different places and I don't know how   to put it back together my mind was in shock I  couldn't eat I couldn't sleep I couldn't think   straight and the only thing I could think of was  being with my mom that's what I did I moved back   to Spain and spend time with my mother at least I  could eat some food and she took care of me for 3   months I'm very grateful for spending time with  my family I don't think it's a really good idea   of sharing too much here on YouTube because it's  public and anyone can watch it and I don't want   this to become a viral topic so I decided to make  a more vulnerable personal video on my Patreon and   I'm going to leave the link down below on this  video if you want to support me or if you want   to know a little bit more I made a video where  I shared more than him here because I don't want   things to get all over YouTube and anyone  can watch them so I'm guessing that whoever   is going to subscribe to my Patreon is somebody  that actually supports me that actually loves me   and that actually cares and that is and that is  respectful so if you want to support me and want   to know a little bit more about everything go  to my Patreon I'm going to leave it right here   and under the video cuz I'm going to do updates  every every week the only thing I'm going to ask   you guys is for respect for me for my family for  Philip's family and for Philip if you're going to   leave a comment think twice if it's going to be a  bad comment because behind all of these videos on   YouTube and social media that is actually real  people I just want to bring awareness because   evil is real guys it's much better to stay in  the light and it's much better to find people   that stays in the light with you that helps you  that make makes you believe in yourself that is   there for you when you need a hand don't isolate  yourself don't lie about your feelings be real and   that's what I'm trying to do here I'm trying  to be real cuz it's time for me to crawl out   of the hole I was living in for so long because  this pain that I have it's extremely insane but   I've been experiencing pain for the past year and  a half since Philip and I broke up and this is   just absolutely incredible I can't even describe  how I feel right now before I finish this video   video I want to bring awareness to mental health  and suicide prevention just alone in the United   States in 2023 over 50,000 people committed  suicide 70% of those people were men that   doesn't mean that there is more men than females  that they try to commit suicide but 70% of male   are successful this means that over 135 people  die every day by Suicide we're not alone here   Philip is not the only one and he's not going to  be the last one if you're a suicide Survivor or   you know someone that experienced this pain please  leave a comment I want this comment section to be   somewhere safe for all of us to share our  feelings to share support to share love I   don't want to feel alone anymore I don't want to  isolate myself because of this I felt that stigma   I felt like I had to stay quiet I want to speak  about it I want to speak about it I want to bring   awareness because you matter because I matter  because Philip matter because everyone matters and life sometimes is hard but it's worth living  guys it is and if you are confused if you have   friends that make you feel that you're confused  you better be alone then you better just figure   your life out yourself looking for the light not  the darkness God is real guys and even if you feel   alone he's there listening don't listen to the  devil don't listen to these voices because the   only thing that they want from you is your pain  and suffering make sure that you don't push people   away that loves you people that loves you wants  you here we would do anything for you we want you   here with us so please if you have any thoughts  like this seek help eat healthy don't party don't   do drugs don't hang out with the wrong people  guys you need to save yourself there's nobody   that is going to come and save you people that  loves you wants you here you just have to open   your mouth and it's Express Yourself tell them  how you really feel what you need and most likely   you will receive help I don't have the 4x4 Ford  econoline anymore for obvious reasons I couldn't   just handle it anymore it was not what I needed in  my life so I got this 40 year old vintage van I'm   going to start posting videos regularly hopefully  if I feel good I'm still not feeling good about   anything in my life so I'm going to try to push  myself hopefully you guys support me enough that   I feel that I'm not just wasting my my time cuz  that's what I think I'm doing a lot of the time   I think I'm always lost expect a lot of raw and  real content to be honest I watched a lot of   people in the van Life Community being super fake  and not real coming in and out of their lifestyle   just to get views and just to get money just to  say that they live in a van when they clearly   have an apartment they clearly used a van just for  commercial purposes I live in a van for the past   10 years and I'm not fake and I've never been fake  I never sold my soul to get more views everything   I create is absolutely real and I wish you can see  it through the lens and hopefully I can evolve and   start becoming my happy self again because I  don't even think I'm myself anymore and if you   guys are watching and you're not subscribed  maybe subscribe and support me that way it's   totally free leave a good comment is totally free  and ditch any negativity because that clearly is   going to affect me and my mental health we  will miss Philip I will miss him my entire life and I just I know I  will see him again eventually but I wish he would have stay with me and I wish  he wouldn't never left me but that's unrealistic   and that's not the reality so I'm trying to go  back to reality and live my life guys so thank   you so much for watching if you made it until  the end like I said I will be posting next   week I already started filming I hope you guys  subscribe and like them I'm so sorry that you   have to hear this and I'm so sorry you have to  hear the news almost 6 months after this event   that happened but you probably can understand I  couldn't even speak in front of a camera for so   long and I wasn't in my right mind either so so  please seek help go to therapy don't abuse from   alcohol don't hang out with people that is  toic look for the light and stay there don't   go in the darkness because it will it will  consume you thank you [Music] guys [Music]

Channel: Lidia Rico

Views: 159,666

Keywords: suicide awareness and prevention, Philip & Lidia, Lidia Rico, van life vlog, depression anxiety and abuse, mental health awareness, why is life so hard?, suicide survivor

Id: N_k1OCQ87Jg

Length: 10min 35sec (635 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 17 2024