This New Item Lets You Buy EVERYTHING

mom's debit card mom's little spender so this is an interesting item I saw it on the Steam Workshop page under like the the most popular tab you know what I'm saying and I thought the concept for it was pretty cool it's basically just a 12 room charge for a quality for item and when you use it it will take away all your money and depending on the amount of money it took away it'll spawn a random item of that quality so uh let's say I use it right now when I have zero to six cents I would get a zero quality item I've gone to about 13 cents now so if I were to spawn an item I'd be quality one you know what I'm saying it seems like just to get quality four items you just have to spend 41 cents so that's pretty you know that's balanced that's basically half of your maximum and then I I remembered that tainted keeper exists I was thinking to myself oh hold on why do I not just combine these two concepts and just get gargantuan money and items this sounds like it would work in my brain we'll skip the treasure room just like how any take to keeper players should do just so we can get planetariums we're almost at 40 cents try not to die and I guess once we hit 40 what is it 40 cents no it's 41 cents sorry speed Up's nice uh we'll press spacebar in just I don't know spawn polyphemous I guess that being said I do want to check oh I want to check this out parasite that's worth it yeah we lose a lot of money no big deal I'll just stock up on money again thanks donation machine thanks for the money uh and I'll go not downpour because I can't do I have a key I do all right we'll go down more can I go in the curse room because I am tainted keeper I could do that on downpour too though when I have mantle oh there we go so I just I use it oh no it's not good though oh my God my game's lagging oh man I can't take it I like the sound that it made jeez that was like a very generic I'll take this uh hookworm uh do I even use it I could get a devil item yeah sure at the very least I should pick it up so I can't show up again right there you go okay well seems like a pretty busted idea I'm down to run with this let's see how it works another shop this one is okay wait a second nah that that wouldn't be how that works right it wouldn't work like that the car battery that there's a there's no way right I refuse to believe that the car battery synergizes with the debit card that spawned the quality for item like once every two floors but I'm down to dry let me go grab it and then we do actually need money for the boss so I can buy that um I might just skip out actually we're definitely not gonna go devil rooms here unless the Satanic Bible is the craziest item I've ever seen in my life I just see no reason I don't have enough money for that oh my God Jesus toilet what are you doing to me don't die take up the money oh my God I even barreling towards me yeah this is not worth it uh that's okay I don't even have enough money for anything else maybe I find a secret room one sec bull uh honestly the yo listens kind of fat don't don't touch me I wanted to make sure my thing is charged yeah I'll go with this it's also a luck up Aquarius is okay but I on or honestly think this is better for us we know the super secret here is here but we can't take it and then we'll go uh I think on this next floor we're gonna go hard on the I'm saving up money moment all right so we have a ton of money I'll go in here just because I can that's good actually that's I've noticed this is kind of a weird item when you're tainted Keepers sometimes you kill things too fast and you won't be able to get money but my base damage is low enough right now I don't really care and not to mention God's flesh was just a complete L item so I'm happy we got rid of it secret rooms below me more money this is exactly what we need I mean this is the first time ever in tainted keeper history where you will actually constantly need money I I unironically need more money I'm running out what's in here nothing too crazy the dead onion is kind of nice I'm not gonna lie yeah I'll take it I'm sure if we beat the boss we'll get 30 cents so I'll just go since bosses always dropped like a bajillion money cash Mulan moment you know what I'm saying what is that bomb that guy I've never seen costume drop bombs like that that was insane I just got boxed in what the hell don't ever do that again all right go go smoke take this key we'll go mirror Dimension and farms for some money cool is this a good item it is man I'm trying to buy a quality four item but these decent items keep showing up I guess I can't complain can I oh nickel that helps okay Something's Cooking wait a second this will probably be the last thing before we go it's but it's effectively more money nice let's go this next room should be it oh yeah definitely here we go oh but it's like what the heck okay I take a Sci-Fi I like that I'll take an obsessed fan uh I'm pretty sure oh I think I get it hold on I think I know the reason that happened oh my Lord I think what happens is it uses the item right and when I have 41 cents and it spawns sci-fi and then it tries to use the item again but I've already spent 41 cents so it uses the item a second time when I effectively have zero sets and that's why I did Spawn Two items but it spawned as quality zero item obsessed fan I think that makes sense in my mind and I'm gonna assume that's what happened here but hey I mean just more items in general I'll take I don't even care for the quality zero but we do also have to spend our money on regular things such as this shop money equals power what on sale this is a tears up and that's an all stats up I uh is it weird that I sh I feel like I shouldn't do it I feel like I get more value well that's conjoined so I kind of do that I get more value if I just wait for 10 more seconds right like do I want a couple all sets up that are you know great and they're decent or do I just want to go big mode I guess the difference is is that the debit card is literally not charged yet so that is something to take into account so for that I will take the seraphim for now oh my God so much money all on the ground yes Angel Halo it's okay I actually can't blow it up which is funny yeah we'll take this and then we'll take this uh and then I don't think I can do anything else I can go in the curse room and that's about it anything no all right well we'll go your listen's showing me the secret room I appreciate you ah exactly who I wanted to see hello friend hello okay this helps more than any money that he could have dropped on the ground because this basically means every single time I see a pretty good item I want to take which has been happening a lot uh I will not feel guilty about taking it anymore uh immediately there are items that I don't want to take here I mean the metal Plate's golden all but I do have 41 cents so yes okay there you go and I'm pretty sure it is doing exactly what I thought it was doing wow that's really op uh where it's using it twice but it's using it when I have uh you know uh zero sense again which is an interesting interaction that is not the interaction I would have guessed would have happened we still have a 21 planetarium Chance by the way because I haven't found anything but I'll hold one too where are you man that like you know how tainted keeper runs whenever you're like on the cathedral and stuff and you just have infinite money it just gets absurd I know for a fact when we get there it's just gonna get nutso I'm already losing frames because of the amount of splitting I'm doing I don't need that but thank you I got a cage fight and a potential devil slash angel so I do need to make sure I have 30 cents here uh it's just a demolishment really okay we didn't get anything tropicamide is whatever I honestly think it's better that I just don't and I go for the 41 Cent play whereas the full card there we are going fast we can hit Boss Rush I haven't done a Boss Rush in a long time have I love oh my God wait this is terrible as tinted keeper never mind don't freak out that's I that's the one I was waiting for okay we like that I take that one there's a little busted I I I said I don't even care about the lovers honestly it's so bad as tainted keeper I've made that mistake so many times and we have the parasite with C-section nah it's over that's like the exact item we needed we are definitely doing Boss Rush assuming I go fast enough how did I speed up uh sure and then I gotta go actually uh this lock up is important okay and then we'll go okay so we did find the way the boss which is cool mom should die instantly I don't have money for a deal oh I might have messed up actually wait oh hold on everything's like half off we should be okay I didn't even get a deal is the true answer none of you expected that one what's in here oh well I'll be real it's a little disappointing I guess I'll go for the bloody gust I think Gus is better than uh uh what's the other one called I think uh the gust is better than the lust which is a weird sentence to say just because gust always gives damage and speed or sorry tears and speed whereas bloody loss is only just tears for damage so every time I shoot everything explodes right the only problem is that I have the longest cheer raid of all time so we just gotta be a little careful you know I suppose I could just use this now uh just because like I mean why not right I'm gonna get it charged by the end of this Boss Rush there we go we're back in motion we shoot left and we shoot right and both things should die immediately upon spawning unless you somehow spawn above me I would have never predicted this I'll do it again I got data Miner again I gotta pick up the items is What's Happening Here hold on dude the melting damage has so crazy to look at it's so nice and then this should be last wave all done the only thing I think I want right now I don't thank God that wasn't a good item I have money the only thing I want right now I think is just tear rate up other than that we're good so let's get out of here we start to find my treasure room we start to make sure we're not dying and we should be able to get we'll we'll get 41 cents again real soon I know for the fact that's gonna happen boom I don't even need it I'm saving money get out of here I'll fight in here for only the reason that I want a lot of enemies to spawn what the heck is that why is PJ show up didn't expect that to happen but cool nice we literally only need four more cents this is where we go just crazy we just keep spamming the debit card I'm so excited this is what I've been waiting for all the Run don't die Jesus Christ oh two more cents what am I gonna get here we go oh I can't even use that dude okay I I can use that I can uh it's not over how about we be smart about this and we gain a lot of money and we use that on the guaranteed deal that we're gonna get we can definitely be smart about this and put that to our advantage I just need to get 30 cents so I can make sure that I can even buy whatever I'm gonna reroll hey how's the bitrate doing on this video so far I'm curious sci-fi is going extra work dude he's I'm sure he's blocked so much damage from me actually okay we did find boss really easily cool get a charge ready it's Conquest not who I expected goodbye dum dum hello oh and it's golden you know I'll just take it it's a damn job and then we'll switch it back out it's pretty stressful I'm not gonna lie because I want to full clear everything so I can get as much money and charges on my debit card as possible but I am trying to go as fast as possible and despite that I am still have four minutes left to do the next floor despite what I feel like I'm going at light speed right now now granted that is a lot of time but it's still a little tight you can't get comfortable perfect boom wafer doesn't work thank you though golden penny found a golden Penny achieved I'm engaging golden Penny moment secret room hey more great quarter I mean either way I'm just gonna get money right oh I mean that's the best case scenario though thank you okay just not what I expected just now cool I base damage is so high that I walk in and things die and they spawn money this is the exact scenario I mentioned last time uh that I get a little nervous about as tainted keeper but we have a lot of speed so I'm able to pick up a lot of the scraps so it's okay oh my God that is a charged key I'm about to get two quality four items so I'm not even gonna react to whatever I I find I'm just gonna double tap it and then we'll see boom boom oh it doesn't fully charge it oh I got pyro I thought it would go I was like spamming spacebar I didn't see two quality four items but that's okay that's still good halfway charge we'll fight hush oh my God I almost walked into the thing okay we're good to go open open open and also open cool what's in here Black Candle I mean that's pretty good not gonna lie but I should check everything else first because I don't have that much money to spend it wasn't here ghost pepper okay we're taking that let's be real oh my God I want everything okay well we'll take ghost pepper for now and then also this for now we'll beat hush we'll probably get more than two cents right and then we'll take the Black Candle we take those items first because they're gonna actually help us out on the hush fight thought the devil will go to town we have split shot C-section plus basically effectively mutant spider this is this is completely over you ain't winning are my tears deleting because I'm shooting too many and therefore I'm not doing my maximum damage don't do that to me um it's so laggy oh it's completely over hush I'm so sorry oh his health is melting what an absolute travesty to be hushed currently getting bullied beyond belief the schoolyard did not prepare hush for today wow that was I mean that I it has been a long time since I demolished hush and that felt very satisfying thank you we take the candle here just to make sure we don't get blind on the chest or I suppose in this situation the dark room there we go now we can slow r or roll and make sure we're getting money I've never seen a more terrifying room in my life than this what the hell Edmund you decided to put four of the eye lasers in a room a big room what what compelled you to do that what an evil man are you second magic eight ball I'll take it cool we actually did not get a planetarium today that's uh there you go a little surprising not the worst in the world though oh we are just racking up the cash currently oh speed up too nice I can finally hit more than two speed uh sure I'll just pop it why not oh yes thank you and a Hershey let's go bro we don't really need keys do we I I can go for a magic mush I guess right I don't know I got a luck up too beautiful okay let's go hello Satan I just need to beat you in like one other thing and then I think we're uh probably gonna get I'm assuming maybe two more quality four items I've had to guess maybe three if I'm hyper lucky with the room layout but I it might not happen I'll go for it though we'll see but for now I just want to see what this dark room has all right red chest I need you to do me a big favor and give me a fat item God yeah that's just not it I'm sorry that's oh yikes okay I mean I could get Bookworm to be honest with you I'll do it after I spawn my quality for item another luck up wow boom Oh god um uh yeah I mean like you see I don't know how I feel about that here I'll take I will take it but only like the fight the lamb or something at the very end not right now because that will most definitely kill me with I mean look how many bullets are on the screen but I'll try and fight the land with it free chest little chest I found a chest inside of a chest so to take you uh and then take you and get Bookworm I don't really care about living guitar I'm just gonna use it loadstone okay cool so what matters more than anything is not even the money I just need to get old conjoined sorry not conjoined I got distracted uh charges on my beautiful debt card my credit card it's not the chess anti-grav probably not a good decision but it makes it wacky so sure how am I at seven luck bro TP me I said I dare you I the Hubble dog dare you more chess rocket in a jar that's pretty useless but hey look boom there's a missile that was pretty cool right I'm looking at the map and I'm thinking the likelihood of me getting two of these quality four items is super low I just don't see myself clearing what 13 more rooms that staying happening and there's a battery there that helps but hey cool wait oh I messed up oh no I used it early shovel for seven cents I mean that's just items technically whoa no way despite messing up I still get another charge nothing matters I win oh my God I get to do another one hold on I thought I messed up but I still get a quality for item no matter what let's do it I I gotta beat the lamb and make sure I don't die and I get to spawn one more let's go for it actually no I don't I need 41 cents I'll probably get sets probably right oh God I'm so dead oh boy what is that what is that build it's actually not as dangerous as I thought it would be oh no don't Victory lap give me the sense spawn an items what an OP item Jesus dgg oh [Music]

Channel: Lazy Mattman

Views: 175,691

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Id: _-N828Jl6HI

Length: 17min 39sec (1059 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 05 2023