Tommy My goddamn hero I- I love you Tommy I love you But there is a man That is even greater The one, the only The man The myth The LEGEND Neil Breen [INTENSE MUSIC] Pewds: AUGHHH Pewds: Remember that name NEIL? BREEN?! Say it with me! [Echoey] Pewds: Neil Breen Neil: Hi, thanks for checking out my crowdfundings site. Neil: My name is Neil Breen, Neil: I'm a film maker. Pewds: AURGGGGH Pewds: Wait a minute.. Neil: As some of you may know I've already made - (Pewds grunting) Pewds: Ahh, Neil Neil: Hi, this is Neil Breen. Pewds: Ohh, Neil. Neil: It's June 22nd, 2016. [Pewds grunting] Neil: And I really wanted [wtf Pewds??] to come out and just update everyone. Neil: Uh - [Sensually] Pewds: NEEEIIILLL [typing sounds] CLICKCLICKCLICK Neil: - shirt and so on, is a symbol or - Pewds: That is the best goddamn chroma key usage I have ever seen. Pewds: It blends PERFECTLY. Pewds: It's GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL. Pewds: [stutters] I- It almost feels like he's there. Pewds: Alright, so this is his YouTube channel. Pewds: Neil Breen. I love you. [kisses fingers] Pewds: If you're watching, I want you to know, I love you. Pewds: I love you so much. Pewds: I think you are, an inspiration. [chuckles] Pewds: He made a mov- Pewds: Neil Breen made a movie called, "Fateful Findings". Pewds: It got recommended to me because I loved "The Room" so much. Pewds: Fateful Findings is, on a whole new level. Pewds: [stutters] I-I-I-It might even be too far. Pewds: But uh, I thought we - Since you guys loved "The Room" video, that I did, Pewds: I wanted to do one on "Fateful Findings", because I think it's one of the classics. Pewds: Don't get me wrong, it's- it's painful to watch. Pewds: But it's also one of the funniest things you'll ever see. Pewds: I'm gonna try and go through my favorite moments. Pewds: And uh, I- , by the end of it, my goal is that you go and check out the movie yourself. Pewds: I'll leave a link to where you can buy this movie, and uh, he will autograph it and send it to you apparently. Pewds: So, defiantly, go support the man, the myth, Neil Breen. Pewds: So he can make more [kisses fingers] Pewds: BEAUTIFUL, timeless art pieces like this one. Pewds: Anyway, let's watch. Pewds: It's a Neil Breen film. Pewds: By uh- Pewds: Neil Breen! Pewds: He just- he just threw his eh- name up there- [yelling] Pewds: YA KNOW WITH THESE MOUNTAINS NEED?? [husky] Pewds: My name.. Greg Jenko: Jeff Pewds: The frame rate on the fucking mountain, [stutters] mak-mak-makes me want to throw up. Pewds: "What genre, is this movie?",you might ask. Pewds: Well I'll let you judge for yourself. [music that you would hear in the pits of hell] Pewds:OHMYGOD [husky] Pewds: HOWDIDITDOTHAT [husky] Pewds: That is the scariest thing I have ever seen. [chuckles] Little boy: Look Leah, a mushroom! [imitating the little boy] Pewds: Look Frank! A-aaaaa mushroom! [quietly] Pewds: I can't hold it, still. [moans] Pewds: AAAEEAAAAAAAEITSAMUSHROOM [INTENSE MUSIC] Pewds: Whoa! [more intensely] WHOA! Pewds: 420 joke? [grunts] *shaka my dudes* Pewds: Even the woods smoke [chuckles] Pewds: I don't understand, Snoop Dog, uh- off the shot , or I don't- What's happening? Pewds: Hide the fucking thing, alright. Pewds: I don't know why I- I don't know what's happening Pewds: [stuttering] I don't know- I just- I'm so lost. At least "The Room" is coherent, Pewds: Okay I don't know what's happening- what's happening?? [emotional music] Little girl: Where's Dylan? Pewds: Where is Dylan? Pewds: No. Pewds: There he is! [Felix laughing] [still laughing] Pewds: Wait- wait? Ah jeez. Pewds: Did you not see him? [again] Little girl: Where's Dylan? Pewds: He's right in front of you, you fucking idiot. Pewds: Jesus Christ. [emotional song playing] Pewds: That is not how you wave. [hits hand on desk] That is- Pewds: I know I make a lot of Nazi jokes, but, Pewds: Can someone explain why she's doing this? *god felix this is an emotional scene stop mocking her you insensitive swine* Pewds: Why is she- Why is she doing that? Okay? Pewds: I don't understand. [intensely] Pewds: WHat is that?! Stop! [imitating police siren] Pewds: WEEOWEEO [husky] Pewds: WALLSTREET JOURNAL! YOU BETTER DO SOMETHING ABOUT NEIL BREEN! Pewds: Because fascists are getting off, of his work. Pewds: Now, if you are younger viewer, you might wanna close your eyes. Pewds: It gets a little intense. *you've been warned* [music] [coming from phone] Woman's voice: Can you hear me? Pewds: Is that the new Nintendo Switch? [music playing in fake ad] [car brakes screeching] Pewds: [stutters] That- that looked real. Let's go frame by frame. That looked fucking real as shit. [Felix chuckles] Hey, hey! It's a still- frame of it. Pewds: I mean still, it works, right? Neil's wife: Dylan? Neil's wife: Dylan, what's going on? Talk- Pewds: Oh yeah, I forgot about the porn actress. Neil Breen's wife- Talk to me! [imitating wife] Pewds: Dylan. Eh, what's goiinng on? [imitading] Pewds: Talk to meee! [intimidating] Pewds: We were supposed to use the bananas. Guy: Is he dead? [repeats himself] Guy: Is he dead? [Australian accent] Other guy: It's the Rolls -Royce that hit him. I saw it! Pewds: What other fucking car would it be, it's right fucking there. Like it has blood- it has blood all over it! [again] Australian guy: It's the Rolls- Royce that hit him! I saw it! Pewds: Goddamn genius. Goddamn genius. Pewds: And now there's blood on the Switch, goddammit. [police sirens in background] Another random guy: Is he breathing?? Random guy: Is he okay?? [police sirens in background] Pewds: He's reaching for his most prized possession, his Switch. Pewds: He'd had just killed one of the guardians in Zelda. Pewds: GODDAMMIT NEIL BREEN! Pewds: I think now is the point in the movie where it goes south. Pewds: And it goes south very fast. Pewds: [stutters] It- I- I can't explain what I'm about to show you.. [emotional music, heart-rate monitor beeping] Pewds: This is like when Luke Skywalker took off the mask, of Darth Vader. Pewds: Why did he need that anyway by the way? Pewds: Okay, great. What is that thing?? Pewds: Why is that thing on his face?? [very emotional music in background of movie] Pewds: Why does he look like that?? Pewds: What purpose does it have? Pewds: It looks like he took snow and tried to make himself into a snowman! Pewds: How do you breathe through that?? Pewds: You don't need those there! Pewds: I told you, he's- he's not human. Pewds: Those are very delicate hands. I gotta say. Pewds: I would love, for Neil to touch me..... *wtf* Pewds: Alright, of course we have the same fucking ass-shot, like in, "The Room". [emotional music in background of movie] Pewds: Great, thanks for that. Pewds: Okay well, what you might see now, uh, it might, shock you. Okay. *BLOOD WARNING* [shower running and emotional piano music playing} Neil: I let myself down. Help me! Help me! Pewds: I can't, I can't. I'm sorry, I'm not gonna. I'm- [emotional piano music INTENSIFIES] [in disgust/shock] Pewds: WHAT?? [strained] Pewds: Oh my god. Can you imagine filming that without laughing? [more emotional piano] Pewds: Why is still wearing the snowman face?? Pewds: Why is he wearing it?? [Felix laughs] AAOOOH Pewds: Oh my god!!! I can't- I can't, I can't. What the fuck?? Pewds: How, how?? [refering to the mask] Pewds: Take it off, please. Take it off! Pewds: Take it off!! [voice cracks] Plee-ease! Pewds: Take it off! [stutters] [deep sigh] Pewds: Thank god it's over. Pewds: Now, Neil, I don't know what you're deal with computers are, Pewds: And I don't know why you wanna mess with them so much. Pewds: First of all, why do you need 4 laptops? Pewds: Question number 1: Why do you need 4 laptops? Pewds: Question number 2: They're clearly not working, but that's, okay- I'll ignore that one. Pewds: But why? Why do you have to hurt them?? [spooky music] Pewds: Don't! Don't touch the computers Neil! [Neil grunts] Pewds: No! [computer falls] Pewds: DAMMIT! DAMMIT WHAT'D I SAY?! Pewds: What did I say? What'd I say? What'd I say? Pewds: Goddammit. Neil: Leave me alone. I've got work to do. Pewds: The delivery, and the passion, in his craft, Pewds: Is incredible. Pewds: It may just come across as just a stale way of saying, [Pewds and Neil] "Leave me alone." [Both] "I've got work to do." Pewds: But really, it's saying, SO much more. [Neil groaning] Pewds: Neil, Neil, do not spill the coffee! [intense music] Pewds: Be careful! Be careful with that coffee Neil! [Neil groaning] Pewds: NO, NEIL! [music INTENSIFIES] [yelling] Pewds: NEIL, FOCUS, FOCUS! DAMMIT, FOCUS! Pewds: PUT DOWN THE COFFEE! [screams] Pewds: PUT DOWN THE GODDAMN COFFEE NEIL! [Neil puts down the coffee] Pewds: Yes! [breathes heavily] Thank god! [Neil groaning] Pewds: Don't spill it- [Neil's head falls] Thank god he didn't spill it. [Pewds breathes a sigh of relief] Phew! Pewds: I thought another laptop, that would have been such a waste. [car hits Neil again] [Neil grunting in sleep] [Neil waking up] Pewds: Alright well, at least that's one good thing about this scene. [Neil grunts] [coffee spills] Neil: AUGH Pewds: God dammit. Pewds: God fucking dammit. Lady: Dinner will be ready soon. Other lady: I'm [emphasizes] hungry. Other lady: I can't WAIT for dinner! Pewds: The sexual undertones, of this, is so fucking weird. Pewds: It's just weird.. Pewds: I don't know how old she's supposed to be, but it's weird, it's weird. Pewds: The real hotness of this show, is Neil. [Neil smiles] Pewds: Look at that smile. Pewds: I melt every time. Pewds: It can not be replicated. I can only try. Neil: I've got so much to do, I'll never get it done. [Neil typing furiously on keyboard] Neil: I'm going to continue hacking into these government systems. Pewds: That explains all the laptops! [intensifies] Pewds: That explains all the laptops!! Pewds: He's hacking into the government systems! Pewds: Of course! Of course! Pewds: The coffee is an old hacking technique. Pewds: Now what I remember the most from watching this movie, Pewds: Because there's a lot of painful bits to get through. Pewds: But, once you get to the end, it is incredible. It's one of my favorite scenes in any movie ever. Pewds: I really- It beats- It triumphs anything ever, and if you make it to the end, Pewds: God bless you, because you get rewarded. Neil: All over the world. Neil: I have discovered more information than any hacker ever has. Neil: EVER. Neil: What I have found will shock you. Pewds: Okay..? Politician: I'm afraid of going to prison. Politician: They now know, my crimes. Pewds: Okay.. Pewds: What are you gonna do.... [yelling] Pewds: OOOOOH [gunshot] *rip* [Felix laughing] [imitating] Pewds: I'm afraid of going to prison. Pewds: I now know what I must do.. Pewds: Surely, surely this guy is not just gonna fucking shoot himself. Politician 2: They operate in a deceiving way, [music intensifies] Politician 2: And cheat the customer. Politician 2: Goodbye. Pewds: No! No! No! Pewds: NO! Pewds: NOOOOOOOOOOOO [gunshot] *rip* Neil: There are systems that are there to undermine societies best interests. Neil: For the purpose of greed. Neil: And fraud. [clapping in background] Pewds: NO! WATCH OUT NEIL THERE'S A SNIPER! Pewds: THERE'S A SNIPER NEIL! Pewds: NOOOOOOOOOOO! Pewds: NEILLLLLL!!!!!!!!!! Pewds: NEEEIIILLL! Pewds: PLEASE!!! [gunshot] Pewds: Oh my god, did he die!? [more intense] Pewds: DID HE DIE?? [still cheering in background] Pewds: No! Pewds: Who did it? Pewds: Who did it?? [reading] Pewds: Any of the above listed companies in the credits with an "N" or "B" in their name are fictitious. Pewds: This work was actually done [chuckles] personally by Neil Breen. Pewds: So basically sound editing was done by Neil, editing was done by Neil, Pewds: Casting was done by Neil, ITS ALL DONE BY NEIL! Pewds: THE WHOLE MOVIE IS NEIL! HE'S ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE TOO! Pewds: I love this movie, I think it's amazing. Pewds: I think you will enjoy it too, it brings a lot of joy this movie, to me, Pewds: And I want more people to experience that, but do, please, Pewds: Check out the link in the description, and buy the movie if you want to see it. Pewds: Get some friends together, and watch it. I think you'll really enjoy it. Pewds: Leave a like if you enjoyed watching, let me know if you want me to do more of these types of movies, Pewds: I find them very- It's always fun to share stuff that I'm passionate about, Pewds: And em, really enjoy, so [kisses fist] thank you for watching. [brofist]
