This Lifestyle 🌈 Almost Cost Me My Life But Then Jesus Did This...

and I looked around and I just see bodies all over it was quieter in that room now I remember at that moment I was like Angel this is not real this is not real this is a dream this is a dream wake up this is a dream and I kept on repeating it this is a dream wake up I kept on hitting myself I was painting myself and I just opened my eyes and I was still there and I hear some footsteps coming into the door and I put my head down because I didn't know who it was and I just start hearing pops and this time it was slower than before pop Pop I couldn't understand why until I came to realize that it was a shooter and he's shooting everyone that's on the floor and I remember hearing the shots closer and closer so at that moment I thought to myself and I said angel I think this is a time that the Lord has given you to make peace with him because you're about to die and I said Lord I'm just sorry I'm sorry but please I'm about to die take me with you hi Angel welcome to delafe testimonies we're so excited and honored to have you here to share with us for the people that may not know you can you just introduce yourself yes I am Angel cologne and I'm super super excited to be here with you guys No Angel can you kind of take us into your life before Jesus were you raised in the church did you know who Jesus was at all and what was that like for you yeah I was born and raised in church um as a child I loved going to church it was a thing for me I loved to worship I loved having the mic I loved being up in the altar all the time it was something that I just grew around my mom used to sing my dad played an instrument so I always was surrounded with worship and it was something that I loved um but even as a child at the age of five I I noticed that I was attracted to other boys and um I love talking to parents because at this point I knew even at that age that something was not right I knew that I had to talk to Jesus and and it's why it's so important for parents to speak to Children even if it's you know even if they're young because that's what they did to me and I just knew quickly that just something was not right As I Grew Older these These Feelings grew stronger and stronger and I did start to have some experiences uh in this and um I remember I had an experience with an older cousin and that just taught me to initiate these experiences so As I Grew I would initiate things with other boys but there was one point where I just stopped everything because I was getting to know Jesus more As I Grew Older into a team and I grew into being this team that was on fire for the Lord and I I ended up being like the president of the youth on fire for Jesus and I just loved doing everything that I needed to do for Jesus and worshiping him but these feelings just grew stronger and stronger and uh sorry to interrupt you but was your parents aware of some of these desires that you were going through did anyone know that you were having these struggles or was this something that you were keeping inside it was something that I was keeping inside because growing up in this kind of church it was kind of scary talking about homosexuality even when you heard about it you would hear a quick it's a sin you're going to hell if you don't change so it was something that I just kept inside of me uh was scared to tell my parents I was scared to tell my father being the only child in a Puerto Rican home I didn't know how the reactions were gonna be I didn't know what was gonna happen so I just decided to keep it inside and even at church there was just no no openness there was no transparency and it was something that I needed I needed to be able to feel safe I needed the church to be a safe place for me and at that moment it didn't feel safe at all for me when in reality I was hoping to see people confessing to each other and helping each other and just hoping that one day someone was going to be like Angel I want to join this journey with you in this but I was scared I didn't see any of that I just saw people just talking about each other and not helping each other so I just decided to just keep it all inside but when you do that it just built up more and more and more until one day you explode it's like a bomb and I remember at the age of 18 my parents had split they got a divorce and that just turned my life upside down completely and I used that as an excuse as an open door to tell god well you made this happen so I decided to go ahead and just go head on into the lifestyle something that I was dreaming of for a while in my in my youth just being in this lifestyle so I took the opportunity as soon as I graduated high school I left my home I moved into the City and I just started Living in that lifestyle of homosexuality and about a year went by and I was just feeling these things of me missing my relationship with Jesus me me knowing that this lifestyle wasn't the right way to live having these convictions and I would pray and I would tell the Lord I miss you and I came to church one night and it was a powerful service and the prophet called me up started prophesying over my life and I give my life to Jesus and I said okay Lord I'm gonna try this once again I'm gonna try this I'm gonna go all in and I know that you're gonna change me and this is all going to be over and I came back to church so Angel tell me a little bit about that moment what made you want to give your life back to Jesus if it you know up to this point you know it hadn't really worked to turn you back straight or to make you right with the father what kind of in that moment made you want to say the prayer again want to go up to the altar want to give your life yeah I was seeing just times where I was being convicted by the Holy Spirit and just remembering how it was to worship I was remembering how it was to be with Jesus and I was missing that more and more every day and I just I was in church for about a year a year and a half and I was praying and I was fasting I was in the worship team but again there was no openness there was no transparency I wouldn't hear other testimonies I didn't see other people that were like me and as much as I was praying I was confused because I still had these Temptations I still had this struggle and I would ask the Lord Lord why am I not changing I'm doing my best that I could I'm doing my best to live the right way and I just felt lonely lonely and lonely I wouldn't connect with the men in the church I wouldn't connect with the pastors and if anything I would hear them making jokes of gay men in the church and that just made me just hide even more and not share the things that I was feeling until I couldn't take it anymore and I broke down and I said Lord I tried I tried to come back to you I tried to do my best I prayed and I fasted and these Temptations aren't going away because when I was young I was taught that you know the moment that your Temptations and your struggles and all that go away that's when you're free and you're good to go and I wasn't experiencing that so I said Lord I love you I love worshiping you but this is just me this is who I am I'm gay and I went head on and I I left church you know and the same way that it says in the Bible that the spirits are going to come and test you and see if you're empty at that moment I was empty completely I was empty completely and that moment that I went back into the homosexual life tower everything was more intense just my feelings were more intense the desires were more intense and not only going into homosexuality but becoming an alcoholic and using drugs the things that I promised myself that I wouldn't do now it was happening but the thing was that even being in this lifestyle the Holy Spirit was tugging in my heart and I would hear the Lord calling my name I would go into the club and I would hear a voice that would tell me angel you don't belong here what are you doing here I would have experiences where I would be drunk I would go into the club and I would just start to sing worship songs out of nowhere the crazy thing was that someone would always join me and they would sing the whole song with me and I would always ask him how do you know these songs and they would always tell me angel I used to be a worshiper I used to be a preacher I used to be in church and it's just crazy to know how many people are in the lifestyle that know who Jesus is but have a lost hope and that's something that I I stick in my head and and I make sure that I always remember those moments because it gives me that boost and that feel to continue the things that I'm doing now but those those things just kept on happening the encounters kept on happening I would have spiritual warfare in my room where I would see demons and I would just have this Authority out of nowhere to to cast them out and I couldn't understand what was happening I couldn't understand the authority that I had at that moment now I understand but at that moment I would ask the Lord Lord I'm living in a way that is not a view that you don't bless if anything right now I'm a child of the devil like the way that I'm living I'm not even close to you but it's just crazy the way that these encounters would happen but just let me know that God would go to the darkest places just to encounter you again just to call you again it let me know that I wasn't too far gone that the Lord still loved me I didn't think that I was gonna have these experience I didn't think that I could feel the Holy Spirit I would be driving randomly in my car and I just felt to put on a worship song and I would just weep under the presence of God and I would ask him Lord I what is this like the way that I'm living every single day I'm pushing you you're getting closer to me and I'm just pushing you to the side and just the the intense way that I would feel the Holy Spirit I would just know that God loved me but yet I was still so consumed in this lifestyle that I didn't know I didn't know how to get out of it by the year 2016 six seven years had passed by of me being in the lifestyle and being deep in it and two thousand 16 came around and I was just fed up with the lifestyle I didn't want to be in this lifestyle I tried to get out and I would break down and I would just have these moments where I would pray and I would ask the Lord Lord I don't know how to get out of this I'm trying in my own way I'm trying with My Own Strength you know My Heart Lord you you know that I love you but I don't know how to change I don't know how this transformation is going to happen this is just me Angel what were some obstacles that you were running into as you would try to leave the lgbtq community and then like that kept you in this cycle the things that would just block me it would just be this these intense feelings of me speaking over myself that I am gay that this is who I am that it's not possible to change even seen the way that a lot of people from church would treat others out be like I don't know if I belong there I'm so different I'm I'm the opposite of what everyone is in church I didn't know I thought I was just too far gone I didn't know if it was really possible if God could change me and those thoughts would just always be my head of Angel how are you gonna let this go this is your identity this is who you are your life is literally surrounded with just gay things gay friends gay jobs gay parties just everything and that's what I wanted to do that's what made me happy and I thought I was happy but it wasn't bringing me joy what true Joy is and those things would just be in my head and just those voices that would send me angel you can't change you could try you can go back to church you can do this but you can go and you're going to come back to your normal life and still have this same feelings and desires and those voices were the things that would tell me just don't even try anymore and I remember in April 2016 I I broke down I was in my room I remember I'm on my bed just laying down and I was just talking to the Lord because I I still had this this connection that I couldn't understand with Jesus I I couldn't understand how being in the lifestyle I didn't think that it could happen until I experienced it myself and I would just I was just on my bed laying down and I was talking to the Lord and I was telling him I love you I miss you I want to come back to you I just don't know I don't know I don't know how to fight this I know that in your word it says that it is possible that there is freedom in Jesus Christ but Lord show me I don't know what it is and I said I'm tired of doing it On My Own Strength it's obvious that I can't do it by myself and I need you Lord and I said Lord and this prayer is a prayer that I call the dangerous prayer because I've I I've heard it before I've heard people make these kinds of prayer and I was like you know what let me try this and I said Lord allow me to go through whatever I need to go through for me to come back to you and I don't care what it is Lord but I want to come back to you I know that I need you in my life I know that in my future is gonna be you you're my future Jesus the thing was that I I knew this throughout my lifestyle I remember when I had left church I made a pact with the Lord and I said Lord I'm never going to be in a relationship because I know that one day I'm gonna come back to you and then years had gone by and every time I would try to get on a relationship it was just it would just not work and I wouldn't understand and you know I would always forget that pact that I made with God and seeing it happen that relationship were not working I remember also leaving the church and telling the Lord I will never sing for the world and I remember every time I would have tried to sing I would just feel like I would sound like trash so for eight years of my life I didn't I didn't have anything to do with music with singing these things I was remembering when I made that prayer and I said Lord allow me to go through whatever I need to go through for me to come back to you kept on living my life forgot about that prayer and two months passed by and June 11 2016 came around and I remember I was at work that day I was let go early of work I was going home I didn't plan on going out at all that night I had gone out the night before and I was hungover still I went on I got a haircut I was starting to get texts from people I had a friend in town and I was like you know what let me just go out and I got invited to go to a house party and then the house party I crashed into my friend Luis which was so awesome I hadn't seen him in a long time and I just saw him give him a hug I asked him where where he had been and I didn't know that the Lord was doing the work in him already at that time that night just kept going and we all decided uh to go to Pulse Nightclub so we went had a time together dancing drinking and they called last call at 202 am so I go ahead I go to the bar got my last drink came back into the main dance floor and I was chatting it up some people were dancing some people were starting to say their goodbyes and I remember at that moment 202 a.m I hear a loud pop and I remember it was so close to me I I hear it in the right of my ear Pop I remember seeing an orange flash crossed my face I jumped I dropped my drink I got scared and in seconds I just hear really fast and all I could think at that moment was run and I turned to my left I ran about two or three steps and I remember I start feeling hot Taps behind my legs and because of the force I fell down on my face and in seconds the club is in chaos you could start hearing the screams people jumping over each other trampling each other I remember at that moment even though I I knew I couldn't walk I was already shot in my legs I still attempted to get up to run and at that moment I remember someone just jumps over me I feel a foot behind my left leg and over the screams over the music I hear a snap and I remember I remember feeling the most excruciating pain that I've ever felt as my leg was being broken at that moment and I fall right back down on the floor and at this time I can't move I'm starting to not feel my legs my left leg is broken my right leg is all shot and all I could do was just cover my head and every time I look up I just see bodies just falling down one by one there was a lady that fell next to me and she was in pain she was yelling I remember I grabbed her hand and I told her it's gonna be okay and at this moment I hear the shooter go outside I can hear the shots going on and I took that time to lift my head and I looked around and I just see bodies all over it was quieter in that room now and I remember at that moment I was like Angel this is not real this is not real this is a dream this is a dream wake up this is a dream and I kept on repeating it this is a dream wake up I kept on hitting myself I was pinching myself and I just opened my eyes and I was still there and I hear some footsteps coming in through the door and I put my head down because I didn't know who it was and I just start hearing pops and this time it was slower than before pop Pop I couldn't understand why until I came to realize that it was a shooter and he's shooting everyone that's on the floor he was making sure that everyone's dead that he finished the job in that room and I remember hearing the shots closer and closer and closer and the lady next to me she was in pain and I held her hand I told her it's gonna be okay we have to be quiet stay still pretend you're dead as I'm telling her that I hear the shots coming closer and I tell myself angel close your eyes stop breathing don't move pretend you're dead and at that moment I had my hand on my face covered I'm holding her hand to my other hand and I remember hearing a loud pop I got scared because this sounded just like the first pop that I heard that night right next to my ear I jumped I opened my eyes and I remember seeing the body of the lady just jump up and down I remember her hand that's loose of my hand and I look at her face and her eyes just shut and at that moment in the ends that I'm panicking never in my life whatever I thought I was going to see someone get murdered in front of my face I'm panicking in the inside because I know I'm next he knows that I'm alive I'm holding her hand but yet I'm still trying to pretend that I'm dead I'm trying to not make a sound I'm not trying to move I'm just staying still on the floor and I can feel him just staring at me behind me I could feel him I could feel his presence right behind me but it was like if time froze nothing was going on I can feel him behind me so at that moment I thought to myself and I said angel I think this is a time that the Lord has given you to make peace with him because you're about to die and in my head I start praying and I start asking for forgiveness and I said Lord please forgive me for the way that I've lived for the things that I've been doing please forgive me that I pushed myself away from you you were always there with me but I was the one that pushed you away and I said Lord I'm just sorry I'm sorry but please I'm about to die take me with you please Lord take me with you and still nothing was happening like if time froze but something just clicked in my head and and something just made me change my prayer and I started to prophesy over my life I said Lord no I'm not leaving here today I'm leaving here alive you promised me that there was purpose in my life that hasn't been fulfilled so that means that I'm gonna be here alive you promised my mom that her son had purpose that still hasn't been fulfilled so that means that I'm leaving here alive and I just kept on prophecying over my life I kept on telling the Lord I'm gonna leave here and I'm gonna testify what you're gonna do in my life I'm Gonna Worship You Lord I'm gonna come back and worship you as hard as I can and it was like if there was spiritual warfare going on at that moment like if I was changing the plans of the enemy at that moment and I just kept on praying and praying and the moment that I said amen in my head I said amen right there I hear pop and I remember feeling my body jump up and down I remember feeling Heat and pain just pain in my midsection realizing that I'm being shot all over again and I just see black and I think to myself angel you're dead you're dead that's it he shot you again Point Blank you're seeing black you're dead and at that moment I hear some footsteps walking away and I open my eyes and I remember at that moment all I could do was just thank the Lord it was as if that prayer that I made when I was prophesying over my life it was like if that just gave me the strength to not move to not yell to not twitch to not make a sound as I was being shot all over again I couldn't understand why with the pain that I felt at that moment it was like if God was just holding me telling me it's gonna be okay and I know that that prayer it was it was because of that and at that moment that I opened my eyes I could just thank the Lord and I was hearing the shots going on in the other room and I see some lights um through the door that I could see across and it was the police that were trying to come in but they were trying to be as quiet as they could be and I would hear them whisper who's alive who's alive and I raised my hand quick and I told him me please come get me and I remember seeing the officer run to me he was still trying to be quiet but he ran to me and I asked him can you please carry me I can't walk I can't feel my legs and and he told me I'm sorry I can't carry you there's a procedure that if there's bodies all over I I can only drag you and at that moment I I was just I wanted to get out of there and I told him do what you have to do just take me out please and I remember he grabbed me and he flipped me over and he started to run as fast as he could and it was a mix of emotions at that moment because I could hear the shots going on I was scared and I would tell him run run to get me out of here yeah I had a sense of relief of him pulling me out of there but at the same time I'm in pain because now I'm being dragged over the glass that's on the floor and I could feel the glass cutting my legs open even more than what they were but still I was telling him run run get me out of here and I made it outside in by God's grace I could just thank the Lord at that moment I just kept on thinking Lord thank you thank you thank you he dragged me across the street so much was happening at that moment I remember the the ambulances had had come in at that moment and they grabbed me and it was starting to become a blur at that moment they put me in the ambulance they went into the hospital that was only a block away thank God it was only a block away and I made it inside the hospital and it was it was chaotic in there and at one moment I was just in the side in the bed I'm bleeding out but I'm seeing all the nurses run and I and I remember hearing them yell coat silver and that code is that there's a shooter in the hospital so they're panicking and what they have to do is now they have to protect themselves so now I'm pushed away in a corner I'm bleeding out because they're trying to protect themselves but thank God it was a false alarm so they ran right back because of the blood that I was losing it was just a blur at that moment and at 10 30 a.m was when they could finally take me into surgery and I remember I blacked out as I was opening my eyes I was being strolled into my room after surgery and I remember seeing my mom my sisters my dad and I could just thank the Lord that he gave me another chance to see my family again because I remember living in that lifestyle I was so convicted I knew that I was living the wrong way and I didn't want them to see me like that and I remember pushing them away at holidays at family events I would come and I would quickly leave just to go and party and just to get away from them because I knew that I was just the opposite person and I remember just being able to hug them being able to tell them I love you it was just a sense of being so grateful at that moment I said Lord I I promise you my life is yours now and at that moment was when the true process started a lot of people ask me angel was that night the hardest night of your journey and I tell them no the hardest part was now starting to live my life the way that I needed to live it for Jesus I remember learning the verses that would say deny yourself uh pick up your cross and follow Jesus and die to yourself and I would say yes I'm gonna live like that but now was when I started to know what it really was to deny yourself for Jesus and I said Lord okay I know that this is hard but I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this I was discharged from the hospital after three weeks and I remember I was the first live interview that they had aired uh after the tragedy it was like a couple days after so being the first live interview my name was pushed all around the world I remember getting calls from China from London of people saying we're so grateful that you're alive but I didn't know that doing that was gonna push my name so much out that when I was discharged from the hospital all these events were coming my way the first thing I did though was give my life to Jesus I went to church and I said okay Lord I'm I'm with you let's do this so I started going to church I started to do that after three four months I joined the worship team and I was doing great but at the same time I'm now flying to California flying to New York I'm doing all these events I'm going to the Glad award which is like the gay Oscars and being hired by a speaking company going to colleges and universities and sharing my stories and I'm getting income that I never thought that I was going to get before and I said okay lord well it's looking good the way that I'm living I'm going to church and I'm doing all these things it's it's it's it's great especially after everything that I went through months would go by and I started to realize something was off these Temptations were coming back stronger than before and I noticed that I just started to live this double life even going through the tragedy I started to notice that the enemy was trying to use the fame and the fortune to lure me back into the lifestyle because I was getting the things that I always wanted before I was getting these offers for a movie of my life I was getting offers for a reality TV show of my life after this tragedy I was getting all these kinds of offers being on TV shows and I was like this is great but yet I noticed that it was slowly luring me back into lifestyle and I was starting to date men again even being at church at the same time I just thought to myself Angel this is worse than before you're living a double life now you you're living in both Waters this is something that God hates he will throw you up living this way and I remember I was like I I thought these feelings were gonna go away especially going after this tragedy giving my life to Jesus I thought he was going to take everything away because that's what I was taught that for Freedom was just everything is going to go away in an instant and about a year and a half after the shooting I I broke down in my room and I was praying and I said Lord I I'm still going through the same thing I'm still fighting with you about this about these Temptations about these struggles Lord I don't want to fight anymore Lord you saved me from this tragedy 49 people died and I'm alive and I'm out here still living a Crazy Life I said you could have saved anyone but I but I'm I'm alive and I'm out here instead of testifying like I said instead of testifying of what what you were gonna do in my life I'm here acting a mess and I broke down and I said Lord I don't want to fight anymore and I got on my knees and I said Lord I I surrender to you I give you these Temptations I give you these struggles I give you this battle that I'm going through but not only that I give you all of my life take everything of me I don't want to fight with you anymore take everything of me you have ownership of my life and I remember at that moment is the holy spirit said angel that's all he wanted he wanted everything of you he said Angel Jesus said that he just wants to love you he wants to get to know you he'll take care of your baggage don't worry about all the stuff that you need to be restored from he'll take care of that and he said Angel even if you weren't gay there was so much more that needed to be restored in your life he still needed to meet you he still needed you to surrender completely to him and I said Lord take it all take it on at that moment was when my life really started to change so I started to notice what it really was to be free I started to get to notice what it was to have an actual relationship with Jesus and as I was growing the Holy Spirit spoke to me he said Angel it's it's time to share to the world the real story it's time to share to the world what God really wants you to do and I said I don't know if I'm prepared I'm gonna lose it all I'm gonna lose everything I'm gonna lose the people I'm gonna I'm gonna lose everything that's coming my way and he said angel in order for you to enter into a new level in me you need to speak and I remember I I just had this bonus inside of me and I said okay Lord I'm gonna do it and I remember I got this interview with a Christian magazine and and I shared my story I shared what happened that night and then I added that the Lord was starting to transform her life and that I was leaving the lgbtq lifestyle and I shared everything and at the moment that they posted that interview it just went viral and I tried to prepare myself for what it was going to bring but I wasn't prepared the world turned their back completely on me all the offers all the income everything that was coming my way all the people that loved me all the people that were coming here or all the people that would would see how I'm doing all the friends all the family that I made all completely turned their back on me and it got to the point where I couldn't even afford rent anymore I had to move in with my sister from how how bad everything just stopped at that moment and this became one of the hardest seasons in my life but yet I tell people it was one of the best seasons of my life because yet yes I didn't have nobody I lost it all I lost everything that I gained at that moment everything was gone everything was stripped away from me I was able to learn what it was to truly Depend and trust in God and God only that I don't need anything from this world that all I needed was him that yet I lost it all but there was this sense of peace that was in me and in that process my my boldness just started to grow more and more and I started to notice that I could go wherever I could share with whoever of what God did in my life and I didn't have a sense of fear I had a sense of boldness I had this this this thing that I just wanted to share Jesus and what he did in my life and in that I started to meet people that had stories like me and I started to see that I could relate to other people and I started to see the the goodness of God in this that yet me losing it all he was there for me more and more and I was able to to learn what the heart of the father was and that it wasn't me just just praying and asking the Lord take this away from me take this away from me but growing into closer relationship with him let me know the goodness of him let me know how good God was and how much I wanted to please him and just be with him and the more that you get to know Jesus the more that your life is Sanctified the closer that you are with Jesus the more your life is Sanctified the more you want to get away from those desires that don't please God where it doesn't become an obligation of okay check I I'm not doing this and I'm not doing that it becomes something out of love the more that you grow in love with the Father the more that you do things out of love and in this process I was able to learn what true Freedom was because I I had thought my whole journey I was like I'm not changing these Temptations I'm going away I'm not going to see freedom but yet in this I learned that freedom is that yes Temptations are going to come your way here and there battles are going to come hard times are going to come but freedom is when I can confront it and look at it in the eye and say I don't want you I want Jesus that's true Freedom when you're not a slave to your Temptations anymore when you had the option to do to choose Jesus over everything else and you choose Jesus that is true freedom and the feeling that you have after that is you just Rejoice there is a sense of Joy I experienced what what I thought was happiness but I never experienced what Joy was and now I can experience what Joy is what true peace is and him living inside of me is like if I'm being Sanctified every single day and now that I'm able to share this and seeing other people being set free seeing other people going through the transformation that I've been in is so rewarding that I don't need the rewards from the world I don't need the fame I don't need the fortune from the world seeing what Jesus is doing with this community that's rewarding in itself where now I'm with Luis Ruiz and we've birthed Fearless identity where we're going into churches and talking to pastors and leaders and parents and and just this generation that is in need of hearing that there is freedom in Jesus Christ just lets me know that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life is share Jesus shares light but most importantly sure his love because in true love there is transformation well angel that was truly a powerful testimony and even just pieces could you give us just a little bit more insight into what God is having you do now you know there was a moment when you were in the club and you were prophesying over your life God there's promises that you've given me and that you've spoken over me that I haven't seen yet can you tell us about some of those promises and has the Lord kind of brought them to pass at this point yes I remember when the Lord would speak to me as a young child and just share that I was going to speak to the Nations that I was going to reach millions of people that I was going to be in these platforms and I'm like Lord I don't know what story I'm gonna use I remember I used to tell my dad I'm like Lord I I just tell my dad dad God's talking to me he's telling me all these things that are supposed to happen but I don't even have a testimony like I don't even have a story to share and I remember that my dad told me at that moment the best testimony that there is is that you've never left Jesus and I'll just be like I don't know if that's the best testimony now I know that that is the best testimony never leaving his side but I was I would always question myself I'm like I don't know what what you're gonna do Lord I'm this team that is afraid of everything afraid to speak of of the things that I'm going through I don't know what it is that you're gonna do Lord and it's crazy to see now the people that I have been able to reach I've been able to go to other nations other countries and share my story and share the Redemption of Jesus Christ and share to the world that it's not even about me it's all about him and his power and His glory and what he can do in someone's life of um especially someone that thinks that they're too far gone I used to think of myself I used to think Angel there is no way back from this there is no way back from there's even people that have told me there's no way that you can return especially the things that you've done there's no way and seeing how the Lord has just turned around my life and now I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm reaching thousands of people without even trying he's doing it all even now like the Lord still speaks and he's like Angel don't worry about it I got it I'm gonna make this happen I'm gonna open the doors for you and that's what he's doing like right in front of my eyes seeing and seeing other people's lives being transformed and being able to to help the parents that have kids that are in the lifestyle and giving them the hope and just being there with them and having that compassion to cry with them and and to pray with them I think it's something that's so beautiful and now especially seeing the churches open up to speak about this topic and seeing how they're freely and boldly sharing that there is freedom Jesus Christ I think it's something beautiful especially in the times that we're in today now Luis there would be a part of the LGBT community that would say you're still gay and you're just suppressing those feelings so do you still struggle with same-sex attraction and if you do like what has been your process with that and how has Jesus helped you in that yeah that's that's an amazing question um and I'm a firm believer of being real and transparent because I've seen too much people in the in the faith just lying just to look good and saying that I've been set free and I don't feel this anymore uh but for me and my story and my process um Temptations do come and go but that doesn't make me me that doesn't I identify who I am I know because I've been in a journey with Jesus and and getting to know him and giving my life to him he lives in me my identity is in Jesus Christ and things can come my way I tell people of course the enemy is gonna try and tempt you with what had you chained up before he's gonna try to see if if you fail again he's gonna try and see if he can use the same thing that he had you one time he's gonna see but because I know that my identity is in Jesus I'm able to freely say I don't belong to you I'm not what you saying I am who he says who I am and he lives in me and the more that you you're open to God living in you the more freedom you feel from that because at a moment I thought that there was just no way out of this because I was so far away from Jesus it was like um this thing just had me and was controlling me and and was my identity but because I know who Jesus is and I know how real he is and I know that from the things that he's healed me from just by that I know that he's real and I know that I don't belong to the world or what the world says I am I am who he says I am amen angel I know that a lot of people can relate to the part of your story where it's like you're doing all the right things you've given your life to Jesus you're going to church but it seems like everything gets worse what word of encouragement do you have for those people who gave their life to Jesus but now it seems like their life is worse than what it was before yeah that's it's it's real because sometimes you think that life is just going to be easier because you're with Jesus but then you see all these all these things coming your way and sometimes temptation is stronger than the web of what they were before but the way that I see it is the closer you get to Jesus A lot of times the more the enemy is gonna try to bring you down and I see that as me being a threat and me thinking that way is like oh wow I have power over this there's the enemies see me as a threat that means that I am doing something right then I mean that means that I am connected to my father even more than what I was before and even me denying my flesh dying to myself I now see it as a beauty as a sacrifice I see it as one of the best ways to worship God is with your own sacrifice of of him looking down and seeing and him saying wow look at my son look at my daughter the way that they're loving me freely not obligated but the way that their their obedience their sacrifice to me because they want to I think it's beautiful I think it's different when you say Lord take this away from me then actually saying Lord I give this to you when you give a desire that you have when you give something that you like when you say Lord I give it to you I want you more than what I like I think that is something so beautiful that we can offer to God Angel do you have any advice for church communities that want to love people coming out of the LGBT community but don't really know how and don't really have any experience with that I believe creating genuine relationships are key to people in the church if they want to build a bridge to the LGBT community or they want to welcome them into their churches without compromising creating a genuine relationship is key because a lot of times gay people are expecting that when they come to church automatically people are going to look at their sexuality they're going to automatically think oh this person is gay this person is lesbian they're going to want to ask why are you this way why are you that way but when we create a genuine relationship we want to get to know them for them we want to know what their life is we want to ask them their name we want to take him out to lunch to dinner and just ask him how how's your heart how was your life and then from there we start to create this trust and this Bond and this relationship where they're like oh wow they're actually trying to get to know me and not trying to change me because that's what's happening a lot a lot of people are trying to change other people a lot of people are trying to have this behavior modification of now dressed like this talk like this do this look like me talk like me do this and do that and we're completely forgetting about the restoration of their hearts when it works from the inside out we're forgetting about all the things that they need to heal from in order for them to be free a lot of times we are overlooking other traumas other PTSD that they have in their life just because we're so focused on the sexuality part for example a lot of people overlooked that I had a problem with cocaine because they were so focused with my homosexuality and they had no idea that I had other things that I was struggling with because they're so focused on that so as a church yes we want to see transformation and we want to see the Lord do his thing but just like that the Lord will do it we can't do it we got to introduce them to Jesus we got to be a reflection of Jesus and the best way to do that is to create a genuine relationship that they can see that you really want to get to know them and that they can see that you really love them and you're not trying to change them well now Angel earlier in your testimony you had mentioned that there were a lot of people you found in the clubs or even in the gay Lifestyles that were people who had come from church who knew about Jesus and knew the gospel and understood it but had walked away what would you say to those people if they were watching right now I would definitely tell them to look for Jesus to trust in him to not even worry about the sexuality right now to just grow a relationship with Jesus to get to know his heart to get to know the heart that he has for them because a lot of times the first thought that they're having is he doesn't love me because I'm gay and that is not true that is not true he's ready to welcome you with open arms he's ready to love you where you're at he doesn't come to you and tell you okay hi I'm Jesus now I want you to change this and that no he's ready like a father to welcome you back with open arms and say Let Me Love You let me be in your life let me show you the father that I am the first thing is not let me change you now do this and I'll do that that's not the first thing and that's what's stuck in their heads because a lot of them grew up that way a lot of them grew up with thinking that freedom was that everything was going to go away and that they have to talk a different way and look a certain way and do this and do that and we Overlook the love of Jesus and that we first have to be introduced to his love how are we going to be transformed if we don't even know who Jesus really is we need to be introduced to his love and get to know how how he sees us so I would tell them don't even worry about your sexuality right now worry about getting to know Jesus and opening your heart to him angel with our culture so hyper focused on sexuality whether it's gay or straight there are a lot of kids that are struggling with their gender identity with their sexual identity what would you say to the kids that are questioning right now and don't really have anyone to ask these questions to and what would you even have wanted your younger self to hear hear as you were struggling with your identity I would have loved to to have an ear actually I would love for someone to ask me hey what's your story how do you feel why are you feeling that way what have you gone through a lot of times people just want to come to us and automatic automatically tell us what to do when a lot of times we just need to have someone that we can talk to and share what we've gone through and really be there for us I wish that I had someone that could just sit by my side and like I said before tell me angel I want to Journey with you I want to Journey with you I want you to LIT I I want you to just be by my side and I would tell that person and I would ask them hey can you let me Journey with you in your life not even if you don't want to change I'm not even if you're not even questioning let me Journey with you because the thing is a lot of times people just want to preach them people's throats but I think the first way to preacher someone is through your own life the way that you carry yourself the way that you speak the way that you live your life is a testimony the way that you live your life if you're super close to the Holy Spirit and you had that connection people are going to feel something different people are going to know that there is a difference in you so if you walk close to someone that is questioning and they're walking Close to You side by side in their Journey they will know that there's something different about you and they're gonna want what you have because it feels good the Holy Spirit feels good they're going to question what do you have what is this light that's around you why are you always shining why are you always happy it's so important to be a reflection of Jesus it's so important to be just like him even if you go up to someone and they're like I don't want to change that doesn't give you the permission to be like okay we'll forget you then no no no even if someone doesn't want to change I still want to get to know you I still want to Journey with you I would still like to be your friend because at some point the door is going to be open where I can introduce Jesus to that person Angel who is Jesus to you Jesus he is My Healer and just by him being my healer I know that he's real from the things that he's healed my heart the pain that I don't feel anymore him healing me from abandonment from rejection from father issues where today I can say that I don't feel those anymore like that's the first thing that I call my healer I can call him my friend I remember I used to just be scared of of Jesus and just thinking him as a king and he is a king but he's also a friend he's someone that feels what you feel he's someone that has a compassion like a mother he's someone that can Rejoice with you can mourn with you and it's crazy feeling that tangible presence of him when you're crying when you're in pain you could feel him he's in pain with you when you're happy you can notice that he's happy with you and feeling that he just lets me know that he's so real that he's by my side and he doesn't care what I'm going through that he's always going to be there for me he's like the brother that I never had he's the artist in my life he's the creativeness in me where sometimes I don't understand why I'm so creative and I'm like it's it's all you father because you're the most creative person that there is in this world that's who he is to me he's my healer he's my best friend he's the brother that I never had what he did on the cross for me I was no one I was someone that I thought was too far gone I was someone that people rejected I was someone that people pushed to the side I was someone that I thought I didn't feel I was worthy to be a son to be a brother to be a friend but yet he came into my life and he healed me from that where today I can say that I have this Joy I had this peace that I've never had before he is my healer Angel do you have any last words for the people that may be watching this there's something important that I I do now and I share with others and it's this prayer because there's so many people that come to me and they tell me angel can you pray for my gay son can you pray for my gay daughter my gay best friend my gay brother my gay cousin and I always tell them well what's their name because I don't want to call them by their sin what's their name and then I tell them before we pray for them let's pray for you let's pray for your heart let's pray that you see everyone through the lens of Jesus because through the lens of Jesus the way that he sees people he doesn't see them by their sin he sees them by their name by who they are so today I say pray for your own heart that you see everyone through the lens of Jesus this is something that I pray for myself to every single day Lord let me see everyone through your lens let me see them by how you see them not by their struggle not by their sin not by their Temptations It's very easy to look at someone and quickly judge them by what they're going through but no let's look at them the way that Jesus looks at them let's love everyone let's have compassion let's Journey with the people that are struggling could you pray for the people watching and the people who have been connecting with your story father God I just thank you Lord I Thank You for Your Love I thank you Lord that you never leave us father God lord even in the moments where we're the ones that just push you away that we're the ones that stopped talking to you you are always there persistent father God lord loving us calling us by our names telling us that you're going to be there father God lord so we thank you and we love you for that father God lord I pray for everyone that's watching this Lord everyone that comes across this video father God Lord in every video on this page father God lord I pray Lord that you touched him in a mighty way father God Lord that you introduce them to you father God lord to your heart father God lord to your love Jesus Lord reveal yourself to them Father God will reveal your beauty father God lord reveal to them what you've done on the cross for them Father God lord Reveal Your Love Lord Reveal Your Heart father God lord reveal what you think of them Father God lord let them know Lord that you will meet them in the darkest deepest places father God lord that you want to love them that you want to get to know them Father God lord I pray over their lives father color that as they see this video Lord they can feel your presence so tangible right next to them Father God lord I pray father God lord that they feel you that they feel your love Lord that you overwhelm them with your peace with your joy like they've never felt before father God lord we thank you for your love and your beauty father God in your beautiful name we pray amen

Channel: Delafé Testimonies

Views: 116,771

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Id: sS_nO1idT2A

Length: 56min 33sec (3393 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 29 2023