Think Neutral with MOM* | Sushil Bhatia | TEDxSuffolkUniversity

[Music] today i'm going to talk to you about think neutral with mom mom in this case is managing of mind whenever we have a problem or we have an issue we say let's call mom she will tell us what to do how to solve this problem and moms always know the answer they are ready to help they are happy to help but in this case i'm coming to you offering another mom managing of mind because everything that we do all comes down to managing of our mind and why are we talking about think neutral the two different forms of thinking that everybody is familiar with think positive and think negative what's the matter with thinking positive all the time and we don't want to think negative and why do we need to think neutral the reason for that is because thinking positive is overrated it's very stressful it's very difficult to continue to think positive all the time while trying to think positive think positive think positive we get stressed out and which is not good and thinking negative is something we all want to avoid we want to avoid people who are constantly talking negative thoughts and you will see that if you talk negatively all the time people slowly start to move away from you so we have to find a solution and the solution is to think neutral and by thinking neutral we bring peace and harmony to our mind to our surroundings to people all around us and we bring atmosphere of tranquility and this tranquility all the sorrows are drowned and peace we get peace peace is happiness and happiness is peace and as we move forward how do we continue to think neutral the first step towards that is to declutter yourself declutter you declutter your life declutter your space physical mental emotional intellectual all of that and i'm going to share with you the rule of ten how to do that first of all we all keep on holding things keep on saving things keep on thinking oh i will use it at some point so let me save it today first thing you do is go look at your office look at your home look at where you live get rid of 10 things which you have been holding for a long time then sit down and write down 10 new ideas that you have which you have been thinking oh i wish i could do this i wish i could do this start writing those 10 ideas down for 10 days 10 ideas every day for 10 days so at the end of 10 days you have 100 ideas see how your thinking has changed as a result of writing down those 10 ideas every day that's step number two step 3 learn to meditate meditate for 10 minutes as a starting point eventually increasing it to 20 minutes so meditate 10 minutes increase it to 20 minutes and discipline yourself no matter what happens unless it's a 9-1-1 call which very unlikely to happen no matter what happens sit for the 10 minutes and eventually 20 minutes of meditation so your body starts to relax it starts to find a balance and it starts to feel good then after that do 10 rakes every day over the next few days random acts of kindness we all plan different ways to give different ways to participate different ways to be kinder to other people but the random acts of kindness bring different joy different relief and different feelings to our mind so try to do 10 10 of those in the next few days and remember the 10 things for which you are grateful for but at the same time think about 10 grudges that you have against people against circumstances about work whatever grudges are small little poisonous things which are eating away at our at our body from inside because we are angry we are unhappy we are frustrated so get rid of those grudges and once you get rid of those grudges you will be very grateful and if all the things that i have talked about all the using the rule of ten you will start much much happier and much more much more relaxed and now we go to mom so mom as i said before is managing of mind we have a lot of emotions in our us the emotion of desire frustration anger worry passion jealousy anxiety all of these emotions are constantly sort of swirling in our mind all the time and as a result of that our mind is either thinking of the past oh i wish i had done that at that time oh i wish i had said this i wish i had gotten the raise three months ago or six months ago or is thinking of the future i will do this in six months from now i will be promoted in eight months from now i'll have this kind of a house a year from now i'll have this much money five years from now but we do not focus on the present moment so our mind like a little child it keeps on rebelling against what we want to do we want to manage our mind but mind says i don't want to be managed and we can manage it by thinking about the present what we are facing right now what is in front of us we think about that we say think of the present moment which is called the mindfulness we mind where our mind is and as a result of that we are able to do much much better moving forward so managing of mine is using all of these things i discussed so far and i'll talk talk some more continuing to stay with mom do simple things in life very simple things say thank you and sorry instantly when you need to say thank you and you say need to say sorry and you are hesitated to do that with the passage of time their effectiveness and their impact on people you want to say thank you to and you want to say sorry to get reduced so say it instantly and see the effect and then we all have heard about give and take how about we make a change instead of give and take say give and take and give again see how much difference it makes in terms of managing your mind thinking neutral and finding a different way of living just give and take and give and also remember our needs can always be met but grades can never be met so as soon as we aim for something and we get it we want more and we want more and we want more and before that before we know our needs have turned into greeds and that's not good and greeds can never be met because it will result in disappointment it will result in frustration it will result in anger and that's the next point i want to talk about how do we prevent from getting angry so i'm not talking anger management i'm talking anger prevention kit apk just visualize a matchstick matchstick has a head similar to us we have a head what is the difference between a matchstick and us both have a head the main difference is matchstick in his head has no brains we have brains right up here a matchstick with the slightest friction flares up catches fire leading in destruction leading in more more fires and leading to unhappiness but we have a brain we have to think is 10 minutes of anger worthwhile losing 600 minutes of laughter and happiness so if you're angry for 10 minutes we are losing 600 seconds of happiness and laughter so the best is next time when you when we start to get angry after frustration think about the humble matchstick with no brain head but no brain but we have that the other step that you can take to continuously benefit from thinking neutral is if you're going to help somebody instead of saying thinking what is in it for me just say how can i help service above self and how can i help takes away all the tension and all the stress from our body and you start to feel so good i'm willing to help people i'm helping people changing people's lives making an impact on people and then you start to feel much much better as a result of that and find any opportunity to laugh breathe well and innovate so let's talk a little bit about time and money everybody says time is money and money is time but we spend so much time thinking about how not to spend ten dollars we might spend 30 minutes thinking about how not to spend time ten dollars but remember the money that is gone can come back but the time that is gone never comes back so so you're losing the benefit of time at that point so time and money we have to keep in mind and the way to do that is think about what time is it it's a big question what time is it there are times of different kinds during the day we all know 24 hours time and but we always have to ask the time because we have to use the time most effectively and here is something to think about first thing that we have a different kind of time is do nothing time or a quiet time so when you get up in the morning spend five minutes sitting at the other edge of the bed sitting there on a chair no tea no coffee no no tv nothing and if you're near a window watch the sun rise and do nothing it's not meditation time it's do nothing time and if you spend that five minutes of doing nothing time you'll see how well your day goes after that then at the end of the day here's another time reflection time reflect on the things you had done during the day so by reflection we are able to improve what we need to do to move forward spend some time during introspection because every thought that we have rises from our subconscious eventually it rises up becomes our thought thoughts become habits habits become our way of life so do some introspection we are all doing a lot of multitasking and we take pride in the fact that we are doing so many things at the same time but slow down time it's better to do one thing better and best rather than too many things not so well so slow down and take that time and then set aside a worry time it's everybody says that what about worry time yes money time is necessary we all have different kind of bodies we worry about this we worry about that so set up your time say five o'clock in the evening i'm going to use a buddy time sit down relax close your eyes take worry number one push it out of your mind take worry number two push it out of your mind take worry number three push it out of time and guarantee it in about five minutes your mind will start to relax and you'll start to feel happy as a result of that so oh i was worried for no reason buddies are not going to go away but all these techniques will give different perspective and different way of looking at these worries and then there's a laughter time this is laughter without jokes and anybody can read jokes and laugh at jokes but laughter without jokes is a technique of you laugh at the dishes that life throws at us all the situation that we face we can always laugh about them see see them in different perspective and say hmm this was not so bad so this is laughter without jokes and because laughter is a waterfall which is which is produces inner joy and laughter without jokes is like the language that binds everybody so we can do a couple of laughters so let's think of a cat that cat wakes up in the morning it stretches back and forth it says meow and then it goes about his business so what we're going to do is we're going to look at cattle after so everybody join me say stretch back and forth a couple of times and then say [Music] [Laughter] so that's cat laughter but what are we addicted to we think addicted to one thing all of us the cell phone so let's do cell phone laughter just put imagine you have your cell phone in your hand put it next to your ear and imagine somebody told you something funny from their life and you say oh yeah so freely love frequently and life openly the other time we have to remember is to meditate for 20 minutes every day sit down and in the beginning it's tough to spend 20 minutes but like i said unless it's nine one month situation do not get up do it for two weeks three weeks and four weeks and seize the magic of meditation at that time on your body on your mind and on your life this is the best way of managing of mind at that point so 20 minutes of meditation will get you there the three most important things are breathing breathing breathing and i'm going to show you a couple of breathing exercises take your thumb and your fourth finger breathe block the right side breathing through the left hold one two three four five block the left side with your fourth finger and breathe out do it five times during the day and you will feel great the other one is you breathing through the nose with your mouth closed then out at the end of count of five turn your lips into an o like you're going to whistle and we're breathing out through the mouth make the sound 90 of the air is gone then you close your lips and last ten percent goes through the nose just like this oh do that five times a day as well in one sitting you can do all of these breathing exercises best is to slow down to get there faster do nothing have a quiet time in the morning pay attention to your physical emotional spiritual fitness and mental fitness of course meditate for 20 minutes laugh as much as you can because nothing is a serious matter set goals impact one life you cannot change the world but you can change one life practice the power of detachment results are not in our hands so practice detachment just work hard think neutral nothing lasts forever and practice the art of letting go adopt mom laugh breathe innovate innovation in this case is not about products or business or new markets it's about innovation and relationships because that's what we all live for we want to have great relationship with our friends with our family and with our people we work with so by laughing and by breathing properly and by innovating in in relationships we can get there so keep on laughing seriously practice mom managing of mind remember mom all the time think neutral be happy and let's end with a big laugh right now join me [Laughter] thank you everybody bye

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 680

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: English, Happiness, Life, Meditation, Mindfulness, Personal growth, TEDxTalks

Id: wqyfpI5tzfI

Length: 16min 37sec (997 seconds)

Published: Tue May 04 2021