Therapist Reacts to ADHD in ELF

[Music] you must be creative no i have a chemical imbalance hello and welcome to cinema therapy i'm jonathan decker and is there sugar and syrup i'm alan searight and yes we are doing a therapist reacts video today and you actually spoiled i i know what i'm reacting to i spilled the beans the jelly beans uh because i was so excited it's the christmas season i love christmas i love the holidays i love the snow and the reindeer and the elves this is the christmassiest christmas movie it's the most christmas that ever christmased yeah it's fantastic here we go it's elf so if you haven't seen elf here's the gist little baby stows away in santa's bag ends up in the north pole is raised believing that he's an elf and grows up into a six foot three behemoth he grows up into a will ferrell that's what he grows up into you'll find your fortune fallen all over town and learns that he has an actual father in new york city and goes to set out to re or to connect not reconnect to connect with his father who doesn't even know he exists so that's our setup and it turns out his dad is a james khan you know how much that's going to cost so will ferrell is playing will ferrell [Music] [Applause] and james khan is playing james khan two magnificent effects it's fantastic so let's dive in i'm here with my dad and we never met and he wants me to sing him a song the idea is he never grew up so he's still like but you didn't know i was born so i'm here now i found you daddy yeah it's never explained why what else are just kids oh like was that too much weird weird usually you guys just uh you know put my name in the jingle bells or so it's me your son susan wells had me and she didn't tell you and and and but now i'm here it's me buddy susan wells you said susan wells yes who sent this christmas girl i just want to highlight how well i mean we're both fathers how well do you think he nails little boy like playing a little boy my gosh it's it's it's like hanging out with my eight-year-old because i i look at this movie and i i'm i'm reminded of what it must have been like for my parents to parent me yeah oh man you know because i was a really hyper active really happy child and there are kids who like to get into trouble there are kids who like to cause mischief i was never one of those kids i know you were like eager to play you're the same person you are now right eager to please kind of a puppy just have chest hair now um ladies no no don't do that i don't want them clamped no one's gentlemen oh gosh but i i look at this and so i i never wanted to cause trouble but i always did not on purpose but because i was so eager to please i was so happy go lucky yeah and i was so not self-aware or aware of my environment or what was going on around me that i just wreaked havoc like unintentional i was your roommate yeah i participated in and was a victim of the havoc why is he in jail again uh because he got in a fight over whether oh that or not that guy was actually santa claus you sit on a throne of lies you smell like beef and cheese okay he does so good like i didn't let you come i love you for coming officer tom this is my dad this is walter okay he bailed me out they gave me one phone call they gave me one phone call and i said i know who i'm gonna call walter hot sure enough you showed up you did they said you weren't gonna show up they told me so many times who the heck are you and what is your problem i i'm buddy i'm your son where'd you get this picture papa elf gave it to me some kind of game what do you want some money no i just wanted to meet you and i thought you might want to meet me who wouldn't want to meet you i thought maybe we could make gingerbread houses and eat cookie dough and go ice skating and maybe even hold hands so the only problem with a therapist reacts for elf is we can't react during the scenes because we just hear so much there's too much fun to be had watching it but i love i love in the scene it is so accurate for there's no awareness whatsoever that i've inconvenienced troubled or embarrassed the adult in my life well i mean you know from a from a neurological standpoint like there can't be right like at that point kids haven't developed the consciousness that there's something outside the self is that yeah no that's that's very true that doesn't develop until later and so they they see they see the role they see their their parents as parents as attachment figures and frankly most of us don't even grow out of that until we're in our twenties right you know where you some of us never grow out of it some of us have problems but you start to consider your parents as people right now going into the teen years some you have more success with some kids than others they could start to be a little more aware of am i inconveniencing my parent or am i being gracious am i being grateful things like that but uh but i i it's just once again he he plays it so well why wouldn't you come down to get me at the prison and the confusion when his dad is upset with him you can see it on will ferrell's face like why would you be upset right now huh my daddy maybe we could hold hands what do we got here oh no oh no this is my favorite scene in the movie i don't eat those [Laughter] so they're not quite like this but they're a little bit like this a lot of them gingerbread houses and we'll even paint eggs well paint eggs that's easier [Laughter] i have a daughter that that is her that is that is my life and it's and it's so frustrating as a parent because you try and match their level of sweetness and they don't listen yeah and then if you get stern you feel bad because there's not a malicious bone in their body yeah they're not doing it to to hurt you or harm you they're just over stimulating cluelessly like well that's that's what it is it's over stimulation because you know the thing one of the i'm going to get on an 80d rant ready for this uh 80d is not attention deficit disorder it's attention mismanagement disorder you sort of guy he's certifiably insane when someone has 80d like i do clinical like very strong 80d you can't shut other things out most people can just like focus on a thing right yeah and just kind of like oh there's noise i can just kind of block that out and that part of the brain there's a chemical imbalance and it doesn't function properly so everything gets in you did it congratulations him playing oh that guy looks like a pirate if i squid like you can't not think those things yeah you don't have the filter that everyone else has where you just kind of block that out so it's with maturity and adulthood you can like not have to say it yeah but the thoughts it's still happening it's always happening why are you smiling like that i just like to smile smiling's my favorite you know i have i have add as well self diagnosed but you know i can do that like i can you can do that i can look at the criteria and go i can't do that i had to go to uh one of him me also to do it um but that's the thing is a lot of times people see it as a i mean it's got disorder in the name so it's pathologized and it's seen as a negative but the fact is it's it's simply another way of being it's another way of functioning it's another way of thinking and studies have shown that people who are diagnosed add actually excel in certain fields way better than a lot of other people absolutely including filmmaker and therapist yeah no creative disciplines it's very helpful because you make a lot of creative connections that other people wouldn't make because your brain is constantly just ping-ponging off of all kinds of stuff and you go this and this i can connect them this way and a normal human goes you can't but you did interesting it's great you must be creative it's like no i have a chemical imbalance [Laughter] well it's fantastic for filmmaking and it's really good for therapy because people need to make new connections to do things differently than how they've been doing this because how they do them hasn't been working as we've stated before filmmaking and therapy basically the same thing basically the same thing we're tricking people into feeling things but the the other component of that for me is that i have a new challenge every hour right you know after after 50 minutes with this couple or this family or this individual we move on and now i've got a whole different problem a whole different person and so it doesn't get stale right and so that and so air traffic controllers is a whole host of things so if you have a kid who is add or adhd or you suspect that they might be because let's be honest sometimes they do and sometimes this is just what kids look like sometimes it's just kids you may you may be worried about their future but the fact is one you need to understand how they learn right they may not learn as well when it comes to traditional styles but people children who have this way of thinking learn really well by doing if you're having them try and sit still it's going to be a struggle and you could shame them and punish them and talk and and lecture them or you can craft their education especially what happens at home to their learning style yeah or you can just do what jonah was saying at first and then they end up in therapy but they can have a very very bright future ahead of them as parents you might be worried you needn't worry they just have to find where they're going to be passionate and where it's going to be a really good fit for them yeah it's people with add especially looking for jobs in the workplace even more than your average person you have to find a thing that you're passionate about or you will lose interest yeah francisco francisco francisco buddy this happens to me 20 times a day sorry all three of my kids perseverate perseveration by the way is when you repeat words over and over and over get up here buddy come here dad don't even watch my name on the desk i bought the desk uh my name's there so no one steals it that's a joke isn't it dad you'll believe this well learning and growing so what are we going to build oh well we don't do that kind of work here pal how proud were you the first time one of your kids why did you pick up what's your favorite color put that down hello how'd it happen no really no the older one's happening okay please don't touch anything sorry how proud were you when i finally learned to pick up on your circuit you're the one who taught me sarcasm it hasn't happened yet but no you don't get you ever seen a mail room the mail room no no no what an accurate thing though wow i'm trying to work kids bothering me even when they're not trying to bother me so i'm gonna get them really excited about something that's not that exciting have you ever hit a tree with a stick i think oh man it's life-changing you can do it for hours well um just whack away try and chop it down with that stick okay i'll work there okay all work there yeah that uh that is actually my number one parenting technique is distract kids with shiny object which may or may not actually be shiny speaking of shiny speaking of sweet lisa's passion for popcorn is our sponsor for this fine program and they've got all sorts of christmasy flavors so i'm going with a sugar cookie and i have a berries and cream these are the most elfie flavors we could find this one's quite colorful i feel like production design wise it fits right in with the north pole they will deliver to your front door for your movie night passion for popcorn.com check it out really guy is he licking your on my ipad no he was rubbing his face on the corner of my ipad before you you can go away now bye-bye bye-bye [Laughter] what i love is every time we try and get rid of him he just puts up this fight i do love that he just completely beats the crap out of him [Music] you know call me elf one more time call me out you're an elf see he thinks he's doing what he wants like i mean i'm not a little person so i i can't speak for them i don't think it's problematic because the offending party is a completely innocent naive and two gets the crap kicked out absolutely destroyed you get the hell out of here where do you want me to go i don't care where you go i don't care that you're an elf i don't care that you're nuts i don't care that you're my son get out of my life now this this speaks to me first of all because even though it's a comedy when james khan says you know get out of my life and but he's just where do you want me to go it's so sad like that moment is so honest when will ferrell doesn't get enough credit for you know his dramatic jobs that's such an honest childlike moment and so sad but i've definitely you know had moments where i've said i don't want to be around you i don't want to see you i don't want you i don't want you in my presence like but the thing is kids get under our skin and one of the hardest things about being a parent is confronting the ugly side of yourself yeah you've heard me say before i didn't think that i had an angry side because i never really got angry for 28 years i i never saw you get angry and then i still haven't seen you getting and then i had kids i'm like oh there it is like that's what that's what it's like to and uh but one of the most beautiful things most important things in relationships is not that we never get angry or do or say things we regret it's that we repair right and i don't know i'm because i don't know what clips you pulled from me today but the the film does have a beautiful repair between james khan yeah let's watch it oh fantastic let's do it hey you found it buddy so buddy was going to leave and then santa shows up and there's a problem with this i need to tell you something there's something i have to tell you right now um i didn't mean anything i said back there not not a word i know you may be a little uh um chemically imbalanced but you've been right about a lot of things i i don't want you to leave my son i love you also accurate for little kids they are so forgiving oh yeah i've done horrible things that i would like to be shocked that they came out of me come with me my kids are just like i love you dad yeah they want that connection something we could learn from them something we could do better is to forgive and let go quickly and let people be human and make mistakes and just no i want i want you so you know yep you'll let it go absolutely i love this film there's so much that's great about it but the the big thing for me as a filmmaker is the production design at the north pole and just the inclusion of stop-motion animated characters and and mr narwhal bye buddy hope you find your dad thanks mr narwhal it's like rudolph the red-nosed reindeer it came to life yeah it's so yeah it's so great it's just this magical 60s stop-motion paradise everything else about the movie is just this it's got a warm inviting glow you just want to hug this movie yeah from a production design and lighting standpoint and then you know john favreau this is not his directorial debut but one of his very early films and you know obviously went on to do the iron man films and jungle book and mandalorian the mandalorian which is incredible he is in the mold of kind of the directors who i love like peter jackson and spielberg and uh george lucas one of these filmmakers who's really and and james cameron really interested in pushing technology forward as a person with 80d i always want a new thing and a shiny toy and a you know some way that i can get my creativity onto the screen in a in a better way and john favreau is one of the people right now in the industry who's really pushing things forward one thing i would add you talk about you just want to give this movie a hug it's so warm if you are parenting a hyperactive child they will test your patience to the limits they will reveal ugly sides of to you that you didn't know you had but they will also teach you forgiveness they will teach you enthusiasm and zeal for life and i mean we watch elf because it makes us feel happy and if you have a child like this the biggest key is to let their enthusiasm spread to you the best way to spread christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear yeah to not try and suppress it trying to get them to grow up trying to get them to be more mature but actually share in that enthusiasm in that fun-loving spirit that christmas spirit but also just that fun-loving spirit because it will enrich your life and help you to be happier just to second that as someone who grew up kind of like buddy not maybe to the extent of jono did uh i don't know how your parents approached it my parents very much uh you know from a place of love they they were very concerned and wanted me to have a good productive life they were all about suppression and figure out how to control it well you asked how my parents handle it my appearance went the other way and they instead of suppressing it they encouraged it and fed it but they were always questioning whether this was something whether this was the right way so i'll never forget when i was in high school i was i was turning out really confident and i was i was the kid that all the parents loved like the girls didn't love me but their parents all wanted them to date me man i identify with that but but my mom would parents were struggling with little hyperactive kids she would point to me and said that's how jonah was and they said really and my mom said yeah they're gonna turn out okay and that would bring people hope so i mean by all means give them structure give them boundaries teach them how to function yeah but but don't don't squelch it because it's it's their gift to the world you know it's a wonderful beautiful thing so again if you haven't seen elf or if it's time for re-watch we got a link down below that you can rent or buy from we get a tiny little kickback helps us to produce the show also check us out on social media at therapy underscore cinema on all of the socials that you can find we're on facebook twitter and instagram primarily if you like what we're doing tell your friends we need your help to help us grow so if you are one of our passionate fans spread the word if you hate our stinking guts spread the word because it's christmas it's what you should do it's the right thing so until next time i love you daddy i'm in a store and i'm singing i'm in a store and i'm saying and watch movies michael please what's the big deal dad santa claus is coming to town

Channel: Cinema Therapy

Views: 469,021

Keywords: cinematherapy, cinema therapy, mental health, counseling, therapy, mental health therapy, Jonathan Decker, Alan Seawright, Elf, christmas, Christmas movie, Will Ferrell, James Caan, ADD, ADHD, parenting

Id: Uj6RDTMknPo

Length: 21min 0sec (1260 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 11 2020

Reddit Comments

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[u/Aelaer]

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