@thealfordsforever Met On Instagram and Married After 5 months | Dear Future Wifey S6, 611

you have to know who you are you know before you you step into like a serious relationship you know because if you really want to create a a pathway for a woman as a man you got to show her where you're going that's it you got to show her and and then back then it didn't work because I believe I was in that position to show her good good that's good self-awareness and then you came with her what made you want to do that so soon give her the plan so soon on the first day yeah on the first day literally I was we had been vibing for about three weeks I knew where we were in a relationship you know when when I prayed to God um you know you know God who is this woman to me you know this is how I'm feeling I feel my feelings my desires my emotions I say God you got to show me you know and and then he gave it to me on the fast you know he said this is my daughter he said I want you to protect her honor her and love her and from that moment I walked away from that fast like you know she went for me pursuing her to her actually becoming my assignment I never imagined my public healing would Inspire others to heal across the world I thank you for using him to reach the world with the message of Hope in relationships but your life does not God you are my publicist we laugh we share the unadulterated truth he said not only have I not divorced you I ain't exposed you oh we didn't marry fans we married forever and we wanted forever to act like a fan we feel her Jesus I will not compromise on getting a woman to God you don't have to and father I declare for his future wifey thank you for preserving her this season I declare Miracles and manifestations you selling Scripts and you're unique you ain't like nobody else I noticed that right away you being true to who you are you're gonna attract it's a Hebrew word and it was translated wealth and it means people it means men it means resources and it means means I'm the pterosaur Whitfield and this is the dear future wifey podcast welcome to dear future wifey podcast I'm your host of Terry saw Whitfield listen are you still shacking up with us if you're still shacking up with us go ahead and hit that subscription button and subscribe make sure you turn on your notification Bell so you'll be notified about upcoming episodes man season six has been rocking and I thank all of y'all for supporting if you're listening to us on streaming platforms make sure you leave a review uh rated five stars leave a comment so other people can be notified about the these you know just be notified that the podcast exists through the wonderful algorithms um but listen we are number one in a lot of countries across the world we're number four on Apple podcast the United States so thank y'all so much for helping the dear future wifey podcast to consistently rank top 10 on Apple podcast this couple that we have today you know certain people that come across my feed that I say you know I gotta have them why it's because I believe that what God is going to do for me in this journey of love that he spoke a word in my life a couple years ago where he said it will happen suddenly and this couple y'all heard me say that a lot that that when God brings the right person in your life it happens suddenly ain't no time to be waiting and procrastinating and trying to figure it out God already did it did that for you and he prepared you for such a time as this so without further Ado welcome to the dear future wifey podcast my new homies Stefan and Iman Alfred how y'all doing it all cuddled up or whatever great to be here you can't spread apart a little bit you got to be all booed up look at that that's how y'all it's the new Norm so what is this God remember what is that about yeah so um actually it was inspired uh by post the the first post that I posted about Iman you know I'm not one to post you know anything regarding any relationships but when I knew that she was the one I literally posted her and I said that a hashtag got remembered so I have been waiting when I tell you I've been waiting for this moment for the season and it's a beautiful thing when it shows up in the flesh and Iman is someone who I'm very very honored to call wife and so when I say God remember it is a movement you know it's a movement to inspire people to let them know that if God remembered us he will certainly remember you that's what I'm talking about he doesn't have no respect of person yeah you know it's just a lot of things we all have to dig through internally externally whatever it is but it's it's a movement happening you know what as I've been thinking about the name of this episode I was gonna mess with Iman and call it just like that but um I'm gonna leave that for her and her uh that's what you have with your your godmother yeah yeah so I'm let y'all protect that I'm gonna call it um Miracle of love Miracle of love because when I started hearing about y'all's your journey and how we're going to get into it so I'm not gonna I'm not even gonna mess up the story I want y'all I love how uh I just I just love hearing y'all story so we're gonna go ahead and go all the way back now first we're gonna start here how long y'all been married how many days you've been counting the days yes so before they say that they can be like how that how that makes sense here we go y'all met on social media what month it was May May 14th May the 14th take us back there what happened I want to go first from what state you were in when you received this DM and then I want to go back to what state he was in so you you woke up one morning and what happened yeah so May 14th I was staying in Memphis Tennessee um that's my hometown and prior to I was praying asking God for my husband a few hours before he dm'd me and so when I wake up I see his DM and you know Instagram typically the DMS come to your request but this time it was directly on my phone like when I woke up I saw his message on my screen instead of like in the request folder It's All Shook I'm like okay who is this what's this man so you said the night before you had prayed what I was praying for my husband hours before so probably like six hours before I was just up walking the floor in my mom's home and I was praying to God for my husband so so we so we've heard about the Sierra prayer now we gotta talk about the mom he made my prayer and you said that you were walking the floor yeah the hallway so what made that moment what what happened in that moment for you to be so intentional that night to be what was going on um I just my spirit I just I just had so much Faith because I talked to my godmother that week and she declared over me that I was going to meet my husband and it was going to happen just like that so in that moment my faith was activated and so I just I didn't forget that conversation with her and I'm like God it's time so I just started praying so I got up and I just declaring those things that were not as though they were and I just started speaking God you know I'm believing for you to send my husband and I'm declared that it's gonna happen just like that because I just believe that you're gonna do it that word was released so now I'm in faith for it and I woke up and he damned me so what happened so where were you at mentally that sent that message to her DM what were you what were you thinking yeah so if I could scroll back to December of the of the previous year I had prayed up before God I said God help me to identify who my wife is help me to identify who my wife is that is the most imperative thing to actually pray because you can meet a lot of women but that don't mean I always say I meet a lot of wives right but they're not mine that's it see a lot of women don't understand that that just because a man doesn't choose you doesn't mean that you're not a wife you're just not his and you can be solid an amazing woman but what he said is that y'all me you know especially in the church when you get intentional and you start drawing great quality women to you it's imperative to be able to discern that which is yours and that which is not that's so true yep so I prayed that prayer and you know I had no idea that it would be this upcoming year the following year because I was in a place uh mentally where I was trying to build I was in building mode you know I just recently closed on a a multi-unit building trying to to finish it up you know so I can turn it to a place to house the underserved and so I had already been like in this mode I had closed in February and it was like a couple of days before my birthday and a few days after I got into a really bad accident so it had been like a test you know from that point and once I um in this season uh like May when may came I don't know what it was but it was something that hit me it was a Saturday morning it was May 14th at 8 30 8 34 a.m and I remember the time because I remember like it was yesterday I woke up and I knew I had I'm a realtor and I'm a licensed realtor in Illinois I knew I had um an open house that day so I don't know what possessed me to to get up and start you know seeking but I knew it was the Holy Spirit really I really did because it was such an urgency and when you become urgent about something you got to listen yeah you know and that's what I felt in that moment just to get on Instagram and search out you know my future wife and then I'm typing in no what did you say this is hilarious what did you search what was your Search keywords I'm typing in hashtag virtuous woman foreign boggling because from that moment we look back and say the algorithms had changed in our favor and it was God's doing you know it was a miracle to happen you put a hashtag Proverbs 31. I was seeking but that was that was my position that's where I was mentally I was actually searching and you know the Bible said seek and ye shall find yeah don't stop seeking yeah so that's what inspired me was just a just a search and I landed on her page and it just it was over this is interesting how many people did you go through before you hit her page before I sent her a message yeah like were you seeing other women that you were like oh she's kind of cute let me see him and I literally was you know because a man knows yeah what what meets his true desires yes you can't paint the picture for the man you you have to already be it so a lot of women tried to to dress this and they try to do this show this reveal that no just be yourself and the right man will find you I say it all the time I say men should pursue and not persuade and a woman should present and not pursue and all she's doing is just presenting just be be who you are and you will always draw that which you desire if you find that you draw the wrong thing then that means that whatever you're presenting is something wrong it's advertising I've been advertising all my life and so at the end of the day that we create Billboards and commercials to draw a certain audience if your audience you draw dudes and pants sagging all the time and smoking weed all the time and all that what are you advertising at the end of the day what are you entertaining in that moment and then you need to start fine-tuning some things but women should present and so what Drew you to her honestly when I first came to her page yeah the light would you keep it real you know she was fine yeah keep it real is fine yeah I wanted to talk about I saw the Holy Spirit now you saw what you were fine no no I didn't even know she had the Holy Spirit at that point I honestly didn't you know I looked at her page and I'm like I gotta send her a message like you know and I had been scrolling looking she didn't have a lot of photos she probably had like 20 something photos from what I remember all of them too yeah and I didn't like them you know some stupid people you know like I'm gonna see if they gonna like me back it wasn't none of that it was just a straight DM after I had got done looking at her profile I looked at her stories like she had some safe stories that was on her page and I really looked at um what stood out to me was not only her beauty but her family values so she and this is why I always say like she said some booby traps for me I told my mom I said I feel like my husband is going to find me through social media this was years ago and uh when I was with my family I'm like I needed to record y'all because my husband gonna like this you said that for real I really did you said my husband gonna like this because I wanted a family man so I needed him to see that side of me the Lord kind of put that in my spirit back in 2020 because I was off social media for like five years and I just felt led to get back on social media which is crazy that's how we know it's a miracle and it's God's doing because I had no intention of ever getting back on social media and you would literally record videos he needs to see what we got going on and I saw that interaction I saw them like celebrating each other they were dancing I remember they were celebrating um your sis my new sis uh when she had got accepted to college and it was just this video of just like them running around to celebrating I'm like it's something different about them you feel drawn you know I felt it felt uh normal it felt like it was something I was already accustomed to so that's what inspired me to slide in yeah and what was that DM it was a long one it was what do you saying it was something along the lines like hey um you know I know this may catch you off guard um but that's sometimes how life Works um and I said I I checked out your profile and some things stood out that I would like to have a discussion about or something along those lines and then it was probably a few more sentences you let me know that you are a man that's very intentional yeah yeah I remember him yeah I did a um was that on my live I say this often I said men we'll go look at your social media and I said I said especially me if a woman's interested in me just come to my DMs say something that you saw on my podcast or something a post that I made uh talk about that or whatnot I'm gonna go through your your account I'm gonna look and see what you posting about seeing if you turn it up most of the time in the pitches and popping bottles and all that stuff and I'm not attracted to that and so if I see that there's some alignment I go okay I hear what she's talking about she has substance she's talking about some stuff that's aligned with me then I'ma respond back and I'll be like hey I know this on your page you talk about this this I really like that where did you learn that from or whatever that that subject matter is and that's what brings the organic conversation so I love the fact that proof perfect you went and looked at us stuff you went and looked through her stories you went and looked through all that stuff and you started feeling a drawing towards her based upon your alignment with her um and then so when you saw that you felt that he was intentional and what else did you feel I thought that he was very bold and crazy I'm like you don't know me and you're sending me this long paragraph and you're like what you read you read the whole thing I had to give her a lot to digest let that thing marinate marinate because you know still in the back of my mind I know what just happened prior before how Just prayed and asked God for my husband and he's telling me that he's 10 he's intentional and that he's so happy that he found my page that he discovered me so it was like little words that made me feel like okay God is this you so because this is it always gets me emotional so so you looked at it then what happened you went and looked at his page and then what I looked at his page and I called my girlfriend my best friend I'm like girl this man's sending me this long DM and I told her what happened with my God Mom how I was praying the night before and I told her what my God Mom declared over me that was gonna happen just like that so she's like let me see him so we started doing our research what would your friend say when she saw his page she he was like you need to respond to him so she didn't say oh he cute he fine oh yeah we gotta keep it real like he is so handsome like did you respond I'm like no because I don't know him he's in Chicago shout out to India yes we're doing our research and she's like you need to respond to him what made her say that she just felt this she told me that we were going to get married that year she had never ever said this about anyone before so I'm like you are crazy just like he crazy are you serious she said that's your husband it's only crazy until it happens Mike Todd that's it yeah yeah she said y'all probably gonna be married by September and we got actually got married in October this girl said that my best friend told me that she said it's something different about him she said um you had not one conversation with this man I was like to get you off my phone so I rushed her off the phone and she kept checking like did you talk to him I did it because I had no intention of responding so why I said this is in Chicago so dude so you don't know me responding to guys in your DM I do but didn't get me anywhere so I think she was at a place where she was still overcoming trauma yeah yeah I was yeah we're gonna talk about that too about about some of the the the Jokers that you the court gestures that you dated along the way and uh which is interesting because when you start meeting the real one he has to pay the penalty for all the guys that Miss managed you before come on that's true that's so real that's true but God Fashions the main one the real one the true one he Fashions him where he's capable of handling all the mishandlings that you've dealt with prior to him yeah and and he doesn't take it personally he'd be like okay this is the process before the promise I got you boo I know I know you may not be able to see me as I know you may feel like I'm the same as these other people but time will tell and that's what my boyfriend did he said I'm gonna show you better I can tell you yeah yeah people was talking about uh marrying you but I'm I'm gonna show you I'm gonna marry you just like that just like that suddenly and so exactly so then what made you finally how long did it take for you to finally respond to the DM so that was at eight I saw it immediately I didn't respond to one I had to get myself together I'm like God are we am I really about to get back out there and how long had you not been out there um let's see four months four months so I'm like okay like I finally became like I got back healed I reached a place of wholeness and now I'm have faith again but now I'm nervous to like put my faith back out there because your true healing is tested once you get into another relationship you only heal to a certain level when you're single and when you get into a relationship or start entertaining somebody else they are a mirror reflecting all your insecurities reflecting all your hopes your desires your wishes your wants and they reflect that and you like I don't want to be wrong I don't want to I don't and it brings up everything that that you thought you were healed from and that's the true test to see if when you how you overcome those triggers once you faced with them again and so I love it and so you say hey guys am I ready to get back out there it's four four months I feel like I've been healed then what did you do did you respond to him and by a DM or what yeah by DM I don't remember what I said what did I say you said hey how are you hey how are you you know hey how are you that's all I'm like oh my God here we go again so what you think when you when you got that how are you I was so excited I was at a open house and when I saw that light up I'm like okay let me do what I need to do and then let me respond and I was I was thrilled honestly it was like you know how that that moment you've been waiting for yeah you know because I had already checked her out I was like miles ahead of her because I I didn't know how much research she had done but I knew how much research I had done on her oh yeah and you know like I mean also my research all you I saw when I saw some Awesomes and go put it out there but I saw some things that I really really liked and I said okay I could take my chances with him you could let me know on YouTube like worshiping and that was the first thing I wrote down um my prayer list so if I move your arm away from her I need a fist bump right here my brother was worshiping you understand worshiping at his um father's church and I was like man I didn't want to say that I don't know he put it on YouTube you got a chance to see this worship experience that's that's that's beautiful yeah she was up there singing and worshiping trying to look after me because she know I'm I'm very protective of my father's Ministry so yeah okay I want to put that out there that you worshiping I thought he was smoking weed or something no no he was worse it was beautiful and I said God I literally just prayed for worshiper and to see him worshiping I had never seen a man in that position before and so that's what that's honestly what made me reach out to you like you're you know fine but that was the one for me how important is looks it's important how so when you rank it when you rank it um when you rank it in the hierarchy of needs how does that rank physical attraction with all the other stuff that you've you said you wanted you desire you said a worshiper man that's intentional all this other stuff well if you met a guy with everything else that you wanted but he was just average at best so I did date that prior to and I don't know I kind of felt like I was settling I feel like God would truly give you the desires of your heart so you felt like he had everything else spiritual alignment somebody has a worshiper no he didn't have okay okay um I felt like I could be without the looks that's why I told God previously I'm like okay obviously the track to God it's not working for me so I'm trying to like find out like maybe I should settle down here or whatever so I can't really say I feel like it's all equal it's all important I do I feel like whatever's your desire it's just it's all important well if I'm gonna ask you yeah how important is it yeah honestly um looks was very big on my list as a man you know I look at obviously short-term and long-term thinking so short term you know I know looks is always going to be on point you know long term you know we get older yeah naturally so obviously that was an important thing um but I I would say looks was top priority for me top number one it was number one so you can have the baddest chick that don't love Jesus no but I actually wanted her to love Jesus too I want that to be a part of the number one that's what make her look good it's just not physical it's internally external it's the package okay it's both it's both it is because honestly I I have dated some some some models yeah in my uh dating phases and it did nothing for me because it had no spiritual alignment I had no substance that's what I'm saying yeah or spiritual that's why I said so it's not that important so that's what I'm saying it's like you can meet some of the baddest women in the world and like you said lack substance and you'll be sitting there talking to you like what am I doing my life right is this the best I can do in life yeah like to have nothing you can't even see them mothering your kids right you can't even see them taking care of you in your old age you just be like you just ain't talking about nothing you know what I'm saying yeah and so uh that's why I said I want to really break that down because people look at y'all and they go well shoot look at what they got they of course they like each other because they're both extremely attractive but the thing about it is a lot of times people have these standards of saying this is what I desired in an episode and first season called purpose versus preference I have this home girl uh she used to be the principal of my nephew and um she just she said it looks it just it looks as everything but she will always be meeting the most toxic men that do her so wrong and I'd be like how they work out for you right yeah how long will you let that keep doing you like that if that's the number one thing exactly because at the end of the day we say it's a high priority but then when we actually get in those relationships what we what we're lacking and desire from that person isn't the looks right because you already got that right now that should make you be like I'm good I'm happy now I don't care as long as you find a look at that I'm happy but you'd be like oh you're getting on my nerves so arrogant you so it is you so you don't spend no time with me you know you're not a tender you start complaining about everything else right and that's why I really want to tackle that because y'all drop videos and largely your success is largely based on the way y'all look it draws people in and then they listen to y'all and then they find Value in the substance that y'all add but the word attraction is exactly that the ability to bring forth to attract and so y'all bring people to y'all and then they listen and they go wow they have value they this is amazing they're godly people this is dope but then they'll get this expectation they'll be like why do you get me to find this man I need to give me a woman to look like and you'll be like okay yeah you see how they work out for you you know what I'm saying exactly and so that's why I said I really want to go through that with a fine-tooth code you have debate you said you've dated models in the past but they didn't have the substance yes and so that left you yearning for what for more and and when you don't when you're constantly seeking you're never satisfied when you're constantly seeking you're never satisfied you're never satisfied and I and I had to learn when I say I look at looks it is the attraction you know it is the attraction it's gonna take for me for you to look beautiful enough to be able to make that first move yes and that's that's what I was yes mentioning yes no that's not the end-all be-all for me um and then you know I feel like there's a I do I get that a lot too I used to get that a lot of women you know they try to find that number one thing which is the looks yep you know but women with a lot of women forget to really look at is I look at Genesis you know when I go back to the Bible Genesis and how Adam you know was was in the garden you know if a woman is trying to figure out what does a kingdom man look like you have to look at it from perspective that number one he knows um he knows how to um create an environment right right so we're talking about Kings and Priests so there was such a relationship established you know between him and God like that's why it drew her to me to me when she talked about you know my worship my relationship with God that teaching that I had already been doing stuff on she stepped right in into and saw what I had already been giving and so um you know when a man knows how to create that environment of worship you know then you can create a space for her you know to be able to step in so I I look at that like women like look at that you know know that you have men have the ability to create environments yeah and so does women too yeah right yeah yeah but yeah that's one thing so find someone like that I would encourage you to to find a man that knows how to create that environment and also find a man that knows how to uh who knows his identity and His image you know if a man doesn't know his image or identity trust me he's going to lead you down the wrong path so if I don't teach I'm telling you teach I want you to understand I want you to go a little deeper on that you said for a man to understand his identity and talking yes so a man knows which direction he's going to go you know and he's going to lead you there if he does not know then he it's going to be he does not he's not going to live on principle you know so he's gonna you're gonna be looking up to him like which way should I go and he's going to be like I'm going this way and I'm going this way it's like the Bible talks about how unstable in all his ways so you have to he has to know his image his identity he has to create and a space an environment for a woman he has to to know how to cultivate yes you know a woman ability to cultivate you you know and another thing you should look for is is um you know a man that knows how to um you know honor God and teach God's word live by his principles you know in a hard worker don't forget that yeah yeah those are some of the things that that uh I had been trying to study and I watched my father in different ways and I mirrored as best as I could those qualities love it yeah look at her yeah when I said I want you to go deeper in that because that's where you start really looking at what everything you said that's not a boyfriend that's a husband yeah you know and then sometimes people are looking for hookups or looking for something else but then they're wanting those characteristics that a husband has and then they find themselves empty and be like he did me wrong he you you got exactly what you chose yeah like you chose that type of person that's why you got exactly what that was right uh so I love when you talk about identity there can be no submission unless there's first submission and so a lot of men are asking women to be submitted to them but they have nothing for them to be submitted to right as far as Direction and vision so I love that you uh talked about that so all right so now you responded then what did you say back to her after she sent the hey how you doing I told her I said some things you know stood out to me on her profile and um I noticed that she was uh studying real estate you know at that time she was like you know involved with that um you know because she had told me you know she was like involved with that so um that's one thing that stood out to me and then the other thing that stood out to me uh I think you said like hey um you know are you are you do you live in Chicago or or something like that yeah so the Chicago thing was what you were were you at a state that you didn't want to date long distance yes all my relationships have been long distance and it didn't work it didn't work so I also told God I said listen I'm not doing this long distance thing anymore and then here you come Chicago where do you live you live in Chicago because all your pictures just say Chicago I live Chicago it's a guy that came to God no we try to rule God don't don't this is what you're gonna have to do crazy yeah and so then y'all started chatting with each other uh went into the phone numbers Exchange probably like five minutes later yeah and that was so crazy to me he asked me if we can talk offline I'm like what do you think well I'm gonna be honest I'm not used to that because she's not used to work someone okay because you used to like um text for a minute warm up to see if you like this person before you get on the phone yeah he was immediately trying to say what's your phone number yeah I was there because she had took me to a place like in the DMS so took me to a place and Men know what I'm talking about when that light bulb go off is this a wrap yeah um but no what really got me too was when you had mentioned that you had lived in New York for 10 years and then she said she moved back home to Memphis that was her hometown yeah so I asked her what inspired the move and then her response was God's leading [Music] that gave me an indication that that's the Holy Spirit you know that is leading you you know a lot of people say God is leading but no it was it was how she said it was the timing yeah and I knew it was real so I mean we had not talked about God initially in the in the message yeah you know so that showed me something when I say I'm right there with you I'm right here with you cause I know how that hits it's a it's a it was an episode I did with Siobhan it's a beautiful couple of Siobhan and Cheyenne and she was talking and as they were talking about their love Journey it's like a light bulb went off and I was like that's the sound of a wife it's the sound that a wife has that I mean it's like deep calls into deep yes and so what happens is I just heard it and I just started crying she said what's wrong I said what's wrong I said I would not compromise that the woman of God I just I just I just started crying and interview I said I don't know what's going on with me why would toe up I was sitting I said Lord Jesus she said oh my God you crying and said you don't have to compromise you don't have to compromise and the reason why I hit so hard is because there's a sound of a Godly woman that is indisputable and irreplaceable come on and so these other guys y'all can have little hot girls the city girls and I'll let y'all have fun yeah I want a woman of God there's something that's matter of fact I'm not even gonna say it Stefan why is a woman of God so important to you you talk about a woman that you will need as a future partner so when we talk about a wife a wife is someone who's going to be your prayer partner yeah yeah she's going to stand in the gap for you in your lowest moments and she's going to not only be there in your highest moments but she's going to push you further yes so um a woman of God is super special because um you know they carry substance yes they carry um loyalty they carry uh God's presence they carry the anointing they carry what what you need naturally even to to help grow your family yes you know and build a legacy you know this this woman right here when I tell you um I've never and and she's younger than I am but that doesn't you know dominate anything about how many how many how many years uh by six years but when I tell you she's at an another mature level than I have met than some five ten years higher than her because of her mindset because of her prayer life yes you know and she's sorry because of her what by prayer life say it one more time for the people in the back her prayer life they don't understand what that does they don't understand prayer life does and what I noticed about her when it's something on my mind you know she'll she'll sense it and then she'll ask what what's up babe and then I'll let her know like this is something that's on my mind and sometimes I may not let her know and she can feel it yeah because she know how to cure it in her womb drop the mic we talking about a prayer woman we talk about a woman of God don't give me it'll get me started because this is one of the most attractive features about the woman that I chose that's what I'm trying to get to and so that's what that's what I'm saying see the the attraction thing yes she's beautiful yeah but she would not be as beautiful if she didn't have the other part she would not be honestly she would not be because the moments that we have with God when we pray to God on weak issues of life you know how the heart comes the abundance of the issues of Life yes we got to go to God with that kind of stuff and you just can't cure it all by yourself at all so that's the that's the beauty of having a woman of God you know as a king you have someone who has access to your concerns have access to your concerns the Bible says one can chase away a thousand but two can set ten thousand demons to fly and it's not just because there's two of y'all together it's because y'all two are in alignment so if one of y'all Christians and y'all faith-filled Believers and other person be like I don't need all that y'all even I ain't tackling no ten thousand demons no you know but the two of y'all together in alignment purposed by God there's nothing that can come against your household nothing doesn't mean that you won't face attacks but it will not Prosper that's it that's what's so beautiful and that's what I'm saying that's the reason why I say we get caught up on some of the most my new stuff but when you get people that are Kingdom Minded and purpose-filled yeah that beauty surpasses the Bible says uh charm is deceptive and beauty doesn't last but a woman who honors God is greatly to be praised that's what I'm talking about that's what representing tears down my face because I kept saying gosh you get that that's how you get to she said in her video or something where she said that she wanted a husband that uh eight years down the line or whatnot um what I'm talking about I always talk about well I've never even shared this publicly I said when you get the right person God locks a time capsule it's a time capsule release there's there's pills that you may take you know Tylenol that may have a time capsule release that throughout the day it releases a little bit of the formula and the medicine to get you throughout a 12-hour period or whatnot I believe that when you get linked with your purpose partner God places a time capsule in there year four you don't need that you you don't know that you're about to do this business deal and then she says oh I did that before you know hey yeah all you have to do is do this this this you go through a problem God forbid that y'all go through a sickness or whatnot and then and then uh she's able or are you able to say listen you know I dealt with my mom my mom dealt with such a such I know how to help you with that I watched my dad do this and she's like how did how did you know how did God and All His Infinite Wisdom come on man God is omniscient he's all-knowing so he knows what Stefan is going to need 10 years from now that you have he knows exactly what a mind is going to need 20 years from now that you have and that's what's so beautiful about having a kingdom marriage it's a time capsule that gets released in those most that seven year ish that happens when most people get divorced God says but I put a time capsule in that moment so y'all ain't gonna have to wear the whether that seven year itch that that seven year of completion does not mean that y'all gonna y'all marriage is gonna be completed it means that I'm about to release a Time Capsule that's going to bring y'all even closer and closer together and that's what happens when you get that too casting out ten thousand demons that's what I'm talking about so when I the reason why I have you on this podcast today is because I saw something in y'all that y'all are going to not only redefine what marriage looks like but even the the the way to get there you know to be able to hear God every step of the way that that y'all are moving in tandem with God and I want to tell the end of the story before we get here but we're going to go ahead and we're going to stop here and get back to the story yes how did y'all because I get excited when I talk to y'all we don't have conversations on the phone so so I'm talking to friends so um how did y'all y'all first phone conversation would happen so I she left me her number and um I said uh when can I call you she said you can call me before six this is me trying to protect my heart right right I don't know what's about to go down and I think you have an event to go to oh you know what it was my grandmother yeah yeah yeah he had an event so uh but I respected that you know boundaries is important so you know I left the open house and I got I got in the car and that was the first thing that I did right so I drove to um like when I I was driving and I was getting some gas so I parked get some gas and then I called her I was like let me just call her I didn't know that I was going to be at the gas station for an hour and a half did you just sit there the whole time the whole time and and I didn't care but he called me yeah I called her and I said absolutely not you need to call you need to FaceTime me I need to see you because you are so bold and your approach with me like how you have all this energy now you wanna just talk to me on the phone we need a FaceTime call she wanted me to FaceTime her and I was like oh that's nothing but a thing when I saw her it was like Sparks was flying all over the phone and and I saw something in her I I just every the more we talked it was such a joy it was easy like when I when I was speaking to it was a joy that hit me like I couldn't believe and this was not lust this was a inner joy that I couldn't even explain no I felt like I was looking at my husband and that kind of made me nervous like what is this feeling like it's something like when I say you know you literally know [Laughter] I know my situations [Laughter] anyway and I'm gonna tell you this this wasn't the first conversation and it wasn't the second but I remember like in the beginning of us talking the way what really drew me in about in mind was the questions that you were asking me what she asked you well one question you asked me was what environment do you see yourself coming home to question what environment what environment not y'all looking at me like this what environment where it come from because I wanted to know what kind of man he was like did he like peace in his home like I just wanted to know what's the environment who asked that question I never heard that question the Holy Spirit speaking that Holy Spirit was speaking I've never asked anyone that that's what's so crazy I'm telling you and I definitely said Peace you know a woman uh that I can look forward to coming to you know but but that question really shouldn't it it'll shake me y'all shook right now you want to come home to yeah yeah but a woman that's that what that says that she's so intentional about creating that environment the same things you talked about about her coming into your environment of worship and what God had already created in your garden so to speak she already saying that hey I got a garden I want to prepare for you as well so for her to say that it's like okay I see you Holy Spirit this is on a different level okay what other questions she asked you she asked me um you know what are we where do you see yourself going in life and and that's part of that identity that's that's part of that image yeah you know that question could shake up a lot of means I wanted to know his purpose yeah earlier about um women we have to get under the mission I wanted to know could I get under it like what is your purpose yeah it's something we could do together um and I love that because I have been planning for this I've been praying about this yeah I've been working on me about this and all this my purpose simply is to glorify God and people complicate purpose because they're not so attained to God you know like do you question how your iPhone works you know do you question how this technology these cameras do you question that it just works and it's all about what it represents you know so that's that's when she asked me I was like my purpose is to glorify God and and I told her some of the things I was involved then you know and and I painted a picture to see if that's something and we can talk about that because it goes along yeah you know when I actually came to see you but that's fast and forward but after that first conversation you know we we talked we laughed we had a few more conversations after that and uh two weeks later got called a fast who initiate the fast wow what happened because you know how you feel like there's some things that are too good to be true it feels too good to be and I felt like I was like five steps forward and you got scared and maybe so yeah because you're like people don't even know what I'm like this I feel like this is my wife but I don't even know her like that but it wasn't so much of a fear it was it was so much of a you know I want to make sure I follow the right steps for me you know because sometimes you may not even be afraid but and you might know how to do things but you just set it aside just because you know we're gonna see how it goes but by being a man of purpose by being in purpose just follow the steps you already know what to do so that's that's what I felt I felt God was causing us to go on the fast because I was excited you were excited we were we were laughing yeah I'm in one conversation we we had I think we laughed for like three hours straight it was crazy boy that Joy is on another real and it still is real yeah it is and and it was something about you know that fast that helped me to identify you know we talked about finding someone that's equally yoked but that fast helped me to identify the yoke you say what I'll be dealing with [Laughter] a whole husband [Music] talk about the yolk you know so when you think about egg yolk you know it's super fluid it's super easy it just merges together naturally you know but so there's no question about you know it's mixture you know so when we talk about being equally yoked you know you find someone um who who you can establish like a common ground with you know and you can build from that Common Ground Lord you know so that to me that fast really did it like it really showed me her heart it showed me her prayer life it showed me where she was in life like it really opened up the Deep parts of of our hearts yeah you know so we went to pray like when she went to pray my mouth was like foreign how long did y'all fast it was three foreign and y'all were praying and doing all this stuff together yeah and after the fast what confirmation did you get I got it before we fasted because I'm like oh first of all you gonna ask me to fast with you and you want to pray with me I know you it I know you my husband so I knew I knew when he asked I already knew in that moment that this was my husband but I'm okay but for confirmation let's go ahead and go through this and I'm like okay God speak you know let us know what this is and when I heard Stefan pray I was just falling like in love like even more because I just heard how I pray like I'm with myself 24 7. yeah cause I'm always praying and to hear him it sounded like me and that was so powerful to just see like a reflection of myself the sound of a husband the sound of a husband boy let me tell you something Jesus so I'm on that yeah oh yeah it's a sound yes I'm telling you it's the sound Jesus is the sound okay I'm telling you it's sound when you so you were you were talking who is your circle who's your community that you were telling about this whole thing okay so I have my mom my father my God Mom my aunties they're not really aunties but they're like girlfriends but they're my mom's friends um my girlfriends so you're telling the whole tribe every step of the way of this I didn't tell them until after the fast so I told my parents and um I think your godmother yeah they only knew me as this man this man I didn't get the name because I wanted to know for myself this is only two weeks in everything is happening quickly yeah so I let them know and they were like okay they're let me know they're watching and praying with me and um my stepdad he was like this is it like I really feel like this is at what stage did he say that second week with the fast he told me he called me um down to the kitchen he was like I want to talk to you about something and he told me he said um don't be afraid just trust the Lord with this he said because God got you and he said everything is going to be okay he said I believe this is your husband but he said but just keep walking it out what did that mean to you for a man to say that it just brought me so much peace yes and it gave me it activated my faith to keep going because he knew how afraid I was from my heart um to get broken again and I just trusted his words I feel like that was the Holy Spirit speaking through him to help me to just keep going like let's see what the end is going to be because I wanted to end it before you know and that's what I'm gonna get on so what happened it was a moment that your mom had to talk you off the ledge early on oh yeah okay so this is yeah this is the first week it was probably like three four days in so I'm helping my girlfriend with an event and my mom picks me up and she was like so what's going on what's the update with you and Steph I'm like everything is good but what what are you sensing because um I would tell her about all my past relationships and she always let me know if this ain't it and so she was like I don't she's like I just have peace I don't I'm not sensing anything and so that scared me because I'm like you always insisting something like you always know like why this time you don't you're not giving me what I'm looking for like I need a yes or no yeah she's like keep walking just trust God and that wasn't enough for me yeah terrified of getting my heart broken again yeah and so I remember I said you know what I can't do this she's like you can't do what I said I can't put myself back out there again and she was like you are crazy and I'm like no it's over yes yes I need to be trying to figure out if you really like me if you don't you actually say you do I don't like that yeah exactly I was terrified that girl said it's over your mom said what is wrong she looks like you're crazy so I stopped talking I completely shut down and she comes to me she said you know you have gotten on my last nerve right I was nervous she said because I cannot believe that you are tripping like this I'm so scared to put myself back out there again for real that's real yeah yeah and she just what and I'm telling you know it was very serious like it was funny but I was bawling yeah and that's true yeah yeah how you know just how I needed to trust God because it's like what has happened in your life that you got to this point where you're so fearful to step out on faith again [Music] and my mom she just when she saw that I was really serious she just hold let's just grab me and hugged me and was like it's gonna be okay respond to the man um all is all is well and she was like just keep trusting God and what's so crazy is Steph did not know that I was experiencing that he text me and he said something like I'm praying for you and he said I take authority over what's ever happening Stefan Stefan that you do that Stefan I did I did I had no idea she was dealing with what she was dealing with you know but something something hit me just to just say you know what let me just send her this just to like who does that because you could hear the sound he could hear the sounds he could hear it he was like something right something ain't right yeah and you can feel you know when when you're involved with someone you can kind of feel the other person yeah there's some stuff that may not be unsaid yeah make you feel uneasy you know because some people don't just come forth out and just say how they really feel yes and I think that's a big problem in today's dating land is that if we can truly be honest with ourselves you know we can really get somewhere yes you know versus hurting each other so then you tap back in you said all right you cried your mom held you y'all prayed he sent this message when you got that message what you think I said Okay God I see what kind of man this is I believe this is your son and I'm gonna trust you so I just put myself back out there this time I let go of all my fear I really stepped out on faith and then after that that's when he called the fast and we've just been together ever since like it's just been beautiful so y'all met each other y'all first date was after how long have known each other I made each other face to face so it was three weeks later three weeks later tell us about that you you visited Memphis yeah what happened obviously the relations relationship had gotten to a point where I wanted to come see her I said all right enough is enough you know I need to see this woman face to face so I decided to um I called um my one of the vendors that I work with I said you know I need some nice roses you know and then this is what I need you to do I need you to put uh something special on the rose so you know I worked that out with her and I'll tell you what it is later and so I got that ready and um I was like I called I was like you know what I want to come you know see you you know I said that um I feel like it's time for us to meet and um you know it was it was right at the time where um I think it was like a Friday my buddy was getting actually measured for it for his uh his wedding and everything and um so he came over and I called I was like so um should I come like next week or the week after it was like one of those kind of things and so to make a long story short she said um you know yeah yeah feel free to come so I came down I called I was like I'm coming down on this date and we end up winded up meeting up and I showed up with the roses and so uh what was crazy about that though me showing up with the Roses as I was on the airplane getting to Memphis um this lady walked up to me on the airport in the airplane she was like you know what is that you got in your hand it's something very special you know um that's happening because she had she saw this long thing of something and that could have been anything you know it was wrapped up in this black bag so um she she saw it and I was like I was just some it's roses you know I'm meeting someone in Memphis for the first time so um she was like well I wanna you see if I could be a part of this you know she said it looks like you know you um is there someone here in Memphis I'm like yeah I met her on Instagram she's like so tell me more so this is this is like a random lady you know so I'm sitting on the plane and uh we're going back and forth she wants to know she's like so um how are you gonna present her to flowers I was like well I'm still trying to figure that part out so so I told her I was like I plan on presenting it to her possibly at dinner or maybe before like when I first see her so she was like well let me know she said I can hold on to the roses and I could bring the Roses to you you know at dinner and I'm looking at her like wait I don't know you I just spent this money on these roses I don't know how they gonna end up from Chicago so you ain't trusting nobody no no so I I have these roads so I said you know what let me think about that and uh what she proposed and I thought about I was like you know what I'm actually going to present them to her in person and so um I'd end up doing it and uh before but I told her I'm a prisoner in person and I was like you know what what you can do is you could record the moment because she still wanted to be a partner yeah so that's what actually triggered uh us to start recording yeah you know us our experiences like it started in that moment and you know when it what happened was I um had her record and then I came out and presented her roses uh with the date that we first met on on Instagram he's so romantic so all right so now y'all at dinner y'all get ready to go to dinner there was a conversation that really confirmed a great deal for you Stefan what was that conversation what question did you asking so um as I was on the plane God gave me a plan because I asked God to give me a game plan to present to her and he gave it to me within five minutes so at the time when we sat you know at the table you know we were Blown Away about the whole experience she was she was appreciative and she set up reservations and everything for dinner so I proposed I heard a game plan the game plan was for me to come down to Memphis to visit her meet her family and then the next thing I showed me was she would in turn come to Chicago meet my family and then you know well we get to engage a little bit more in Chicago and and I show her around a little bit so um after that you know we would have counseling you know that was the next thing and then I'm presenting her on our first date this plan yeah for real and then after that monster I Love Stefan that's my dude because he thinks like me it's like I mean that's why I said people I bring on my podcast is it's a part of my past my present and my future and so all this is by Design that's why when I saw that I said wow hey that's my brother that's my brother that's my brother right there so come on talk lay it out lay the game plan out yeah so after the the counseling um you know obviously I would propose to her because from counseling like we got the wisdom that we need yeah to carry forward so and that was very important to me and her you know at that time and after that I proposed to her you know um no what happened yeah I was at dinner right that was the next step on the game plan I will propose to her and then after that um then we would get married and then you know I had on the plans to be to finish this this rehab project we cash out from it and then we continue and enjoy life and that was all the part of the timeline with this thing yes so we did discuss that at the table uh so I let her know like you know if she's willing to to move forward with it you know I would be willing to for us to get married after February because after February of 2023 uh yes so y'all just been getting married y'all be still trying to get married next month right or this month when this drops this month y'all be getting married exactly that's what you had in your mind right exactly this was June when I presented this to him yeah 2022. yeah so we thought we were going to get married like a year later yes [Laughter] oh my gosh and it was so funny because people could see like our family could see the momentum that was happening between us we were excited you know everybody asking us for updates and stuff and you know we just giving them little bits of information like yeah things are going good and that's it and they like pulling on us so but back to us being at the table so when I presented her to her the game plan you know I said so how do you feel about it and and what did you say babe I said wherever you go I'll go that right there when she hit you with that Frodo from Lord of the Rings listen boys wherever you go I'll go let me tell you something that right there shut it down this woman has words that I've never heard before that that line up together collectively I'm like where did they get her from Memphis but no man what made you say that Iman no no I feel like the Holy Spirit be speaking through it I meant it though but I was like because you said you already felt confirmation I knew that this was my husband you just knew it I was just waiting for it first to meet in person and that was my biggest concern because I had dated you know long distance previously yeah so that was a big burning question you know if I presented you know what's next she's like yeah I'm down for it I'm like okay so the fact of the matter is I still live in Chicago yeah you live in Memphis and that's when she dropped that on me wherever you go I'll go no but seriously for me it was because he was the first man to come to me with a plan no man has ever come on stop he's gonna wait Jesus you can't just keep talking just let it just sit there Jesus you said he's the only man that came to you with a plan a plan like he had it on his fault and said listen here how do you feel about this one out there what would I tell you when I tell you man you showed up on our first date with the plan in writing with the date on it said Iman and Stefan oh [Laughter] so wherever you go [Laughter] hey I would say the crazy thing about it I I have never done that I know you haven't I've never done it she brought that out of me that's why I said she brought me to a place to spend this money flying to see you either you the one or you eight so if I ain't got no time to play he was not playing because you said in the previous relationship he was dating a woman in Atlanta right and and what happened in that situation where where right so in that situation I believe I was like around 30 years old you know just six years ago and I remember not being at the same place where I was you know and this is all a part of finding your identity yeah because at that place I was going through identity crisis you know I'm 30 years old what am I doing with life so so guys started showing me like you know things you got to give up like certain careers you got to get about you know um because I was into like production and I used to do like into like a little entertainment like modeling acting a little yeah stuff here and there but um I had to let that go because it wasn't getting me anywhere yeah you know it got me to a place in my career where I was comfortable yeah I was proud of but it was like okay what's that next level yeah and for me it was real estate and so she actually encouraged me to do that but talking to her you know she was almost willing to to move to almost yeah yeah it was almost but I didn't give her enough picture to show her I didn't give her like I didn't present I didn't give her a plan yeah I didn't give it a blueprint you know because I remember her looking for a job okay she she went into that mode and I was actually going to start ring shopping you know I went one time this is the only time I did this never bought the ring praise God been a wasted investment yeah exactly but in that moment um that's why I can speak like you have to know who you are you know before you you step into like a serious relationship you know because if you really want to create a a pathway for a woman as a man you got to show her where you're going you got to show her and and then back then it didn't work because I believe I was in that position to show her good good that's good self-awareness and then you came with her what made you want to do that so soon give her the plan so soon on the first day yeah on the first day literally I was we had been vibing for about three weeks I knew where we were in a relationship you know when when I pray to God um you know you know God who is this woman to me you know this is how I'm feeling I've got my feelings my desires my emotions I say God you got to show me you know and and then he gave it to me on the fast you know he said this is my daughter he said I want you to protect her honor her and love her and from that moment I walked away from that fast like you know she went for me pursuing her to her actually becoming my assignment so I literally I literally felt I felt like this is it you know like me coming down there was to seal the deal it was to finally figure out is she willing to move like our bond our Vibe I gotta see if this is really real because it feels real in person it began to feel real but it really comes down to you know where she's at you know because you could feel a certain way like I felt a certain way but I needed to make sure she felt the same way as well that's good ready to take it to the next level you know and I knew I knew it was in her I just wasn't I needed to hear her say that the reason why I knew is because of the questions she asked me you said that Lobster died in vain that Lobster that I ordered let's have a moment of silence for the lobster because when Iman said that it's natched his breath away he didn't even know what to do he couldn't even gather himself I couldn't she said wherever you go I'll go I said I couldn't even eat like I felt like I was being punked I was like excuse me waiter am I being pumped asking everybody I'll tell you I went to a whole mode and I said you know you're not gonna sit here and agree oh yeah tell me let me kick him down something wrong with you to be that easy I was literally shocked I was and I did not eat that's why I said that Lobster died in vain it's so and so from that moment how did y'all move so after y'all left that dinner table um y'all knew that at that point why don't y'all end up having a conversation like we together we go together now he never asked me to be his girlfriend good proud of you um proud of you you let me tell you something people don't understand that I always say that we're gonna go from friend to fiance we ain't gonna I don't need no little girlfriend that's what I'm saying it's like what is that I can't have the same thing that my my nephew got you know what I'm saying right he's 14 years old we the same thing I'm 44 years old time and you got girlfriend your girlfriend coming over my girlfriend coming over too no we are not the same intentional for that yeah you're gonna be a fiance you ain't you ain't gonna be no girlfriend so yeah so I'm glad Stephan that's why I said that's my brother right there who's established at dinner I was like so you're gonna be my wife there it is and then stuff you start into all of his family like he start he said okay we got a zoom date with sauce he said y'all this is Mrs Alfred this is soon to be Mrs Alfred that's what I'm talking about I mean lit and that's what my mom told me to look for she said when a man brings you into his world that's how you know that's the one I like your mama your mama's a wise woman a wise woman she is so he started calling everybody who's having meetings with his family he was we were getting to know each other and then when I went to Chicago he told everyone this is my soon-to-be fiance or this is my soon-to-be wife yeah yeah he never called me girlfriend yeah so everybody already knew who I was and knew how intentional he was about you yeah yeah he said this is just something different so they automatically put a level of respect on youth from his circle of influence but as I said now Stefan moving different everything this this this is this is different yeah and that's why I said the we are each others we're we're our lovers PR representative based on how we talk about that person to the people that don't even know him yeah and the other people will get a measure of buy-in based on how we speak of that person outside of their presence and so by him calling you this is my future wife they go all right I understood it you know he didn't just say I'll just say mine they gotta say is that his girl he's talking to it they dating what's going on he said understood yeah that's so good moving like a king and we we met you know uh got engaged and married in five months yeah you know so but but it was the steps that took us to get there yeah I was embraced so like fully by her family yeah you know by the people who covered her in the past you know and still now and so they literally rolled out the red carpet for me like I would I remember showing up she asked me did I was I ready to meet her parents and I said you know I would love to meet them I said I would like for us to spend a little time first just so I can know for sure that you know things are going the way they should and literally her parents like laid it out like they had me eating food on their China plate that they got their wedding from their wedding yeah they treated like you know they treated me like a king no but when I met his parents when I walked through the door she had a white carpet rolled out for me with rose petals and candles no they did not do that we have to put it on our video on YouTube yes what if they were standing up waiting for me to come through and they had our pictures me and stuff pictures all over the house no why is that what is that about Stefan the story book no it was like literally yeah it was you know like they my parents got wind of how I was treated in Memphis and and they looked at her start to already call her daughter they call me daughter immediately you know so you said with rose petals on white carpet they they will show you the video they literally did and then she walked in um they welcomed her the first time them ever white carpet they said they were going back and forth between red or white but they did white because they knew we were going to get married yeah yeah [Music] I don't know it was right you know like when I saw her godmother embrace you oh my God and she started crying and she said Thank You Jesus I was just like man but there's that sound again yeah the sound that the Godmother had was a sound of I could see her tearing in the spirit yeah on behalf of her and it was the confirmation that she wasn't crazy that that she was praying and seeking for something that happened um it was the it was the manifestation of a miracle and so the Godmother when that the sound that came from her it was just like that's why she embraced she was hugging you she was crying and I was like this is the first time she saw this man yes but it wasn't the first time she saw this man yeah so good oh Jesus oh god dog it it messed me up I was like yes that's how important it is to have a community of Believers around you because the Bible says the prayers of the righteous availeth much yes the greatest much we could ever get is who we choose as our purpose partners and so for her to pray and for y'all your community and y'all tribe to manifest each other in each other's lives is that's why I call this the miracle of love because it's it's it it's not just y'all praying it's the people that love y'all so much yeah and that's the reason why they were able to embrace y'all as family when y'all coming it seems like y'all known each other forever and they like hey son hey son you're like wow this is I was talking to uh Fallon we did the episode um that was last week that talked about um she said with her when her and her late husband got married it happened fast and I said what is fast yeah what is that really what does that really mean because time God is no he don't care about time you know what I'm saying he don't ever look at time he'd just be like that's why he says a a day is like a thousand years and his ways are not our ways and all that type of stuff and it's the intentional time that you guys spent with each other asking each other those questions having those conversations that y'all never had with a human being on the face of this Earth and that's how you know it was God um so now you are dating how did it go from this expected timetable of February of 2023 for it to take place in October of 2022. okay so we're planning the wedding and um we started looking at venues this is before a ring is on my finger we just gotta be putting the cart before the horse we're still we're just trying to prepare because we knew the kind of wedding that we wanted to have we wanted to be nice and so um we found the wedding venue and so we're ready to make a deposit and my mom was gonna pay for our wedding and so my mom says for whatever reason I see you guys getting married sooner and we're like how do you like how how do you we just met each other like we want things to unfold we have a game plan she was like I'm telling you this thing is going to happen quick she said God is moving quickly all you guys we have she was like but we can keep moving forward with this venue and so um she will not sign this contract with the venue and we're like ready to go you know to have this wedding we decided to have a wedding in May 2023 but she just did not have a piece about it so then we were like okay trying to figure out what was that that was missing why couldn't we move forward with it so we're um praying about it so then we find another venue and we're like okay maybe this is it so then my mom comes back to us she said would y'all rather have money towards a down payment of a home yeah or would you guys rather have this elaborate wedding and so we said we'd rather have the money for a home and facts you know so we thought we weren't gonna have this wedding but um our family still wanted us to have a wedding yeah and so I'm like okay okay so what are we waiting for at this point yeah if we're not going to have this elaborate wedding that was the purpose of getting married the year later yeah so we could have time to really plan and so um once we came to a conclusion that we weren't going to have that wedding um we just said we're gonna get married this year and then but this year turned into a month from now I don't know it was just I mean it was something that's why it's a miracle because we can't even explain it it really is hard to wrap our minds around it and we were going to try to do a video where we actually try to thoroughly explain it and it's so hard you can't explain a miracle yeah because what do you mind when she came to me when we were recording yeah and I say courting because that's that's what it was yes um I um she actually told me she said you she wanted to get um after the proposal get married after the proposal so she said the day after and and in my mind I'm thinking it's like literally the day after you know but it was like you you didn't want it to last long right so you really felt when you said after that you really mean the next day I really meant yeah because but I thought that was going to be something private just me and stuff okay all right everyone else included okay so you just felt like he's gonna propose on this day and then y'all have a private ceremony the next day just at the courthouse yeah whatever like let's get married yeah I ain't got time to wait well we've been waiting long enough so how are you when you got married I was 30. and you were 36. and so um so you felt like that was just a long time no 30 years yes yes because you know we have our own plans I know I told the Lord I said 25 is always that number everybody somewhere in cyberspace that you're supposed to be married by 25. I have a kid by 27. like I just thought that that's how my life was going to be and at 30 it's because you've been so brainwashed at 30 it starts getting downhill yeah uh and then and then you got childbirth in in play and so it's a five-year shot clock at that and then 35 now you know it's so it's all that stuff that we've been conditioned to believe and feel and it's real I mean ain't no lies about it yeah and so you'd be like I just turned 30. yeah I did a play years ago called um by any means necessary and it was about these three women these three like overly religious women who concoct the scheme to get married by the age of 30 and they were all like 29 like 29 and three months 29 five months funny teacher Campbell was in it and all that Shante Moore um um Shar Jackson I mean it was it was a dope dope play and uh they concocted this game because they say that 30 like it goes downhill so they had to go Rush the gun and so they was just trying to marry anybody um and so you said you want to be married the next day and how'd you take that I was like fine that's how I knew this is because yeah yeah because I I in my mind she wanted to get married like at 25 originally mine was 30. yeah at 30 but yeah I'm 36. yeah she she got her Dream you know but really got my dreams and so proposed to her people need to go to the YouTube channel to see uh Stefan serenade and his Queen um I'm gonna drop a link to that their channel on the video um you proposed to her you got married the next day how was y'all so how did the wedding come about was it like was it just still the private Courthouse thing or did it was family there how did y'all end up deciding to remix his wedding so um at uh iman's mom's birthday um after her party and almost during that that's what made it so special she literally pulled people aside and and said you know we need help with coordinating this you know I have a lot on my plate because she's she does a lot and she needed some help and I needed some help too in order to pull this off proposing to her and getting married the next day so we had two major events back to back so and these are life-changing events yeah you know so he had to be right so he had no clue they were planning yeah yeah so we went to the office and we all talked and we delegated roles and responsibilities and we literally had Zoom calls once a week she didn't know any any of this so um in that moment you know literally doing the planning you know we started generating these these these project sheets and and things like that so we had teams like it was it was like it was like hitting it hitting it quit real quick it was like we only had like a month you know to really plan this this wedding and proposal so I really wanted to to be responsible for the proposal yeah right so with the wedding you know I I pitched in here and there and she was involved to a certain extent but she didn't know the date yeah so I didn't know the date for the proposal or the wedding date right so I'm just out here she was just out here like I knew that it was gonna happen before the year was out because I asked them yeah I said Dave I want to be married um before Christmas yeah yeah and I knew that he was going to make it happen all right and I did give her that at least so she'll know yeah you know to prepare so she did go by her her uh dress yeah you know to prepare for that so um but yeah no we literally coordinated this thing right away and you know literally uh it was the week of the proposal and I was asking God like Lord give me a song you know to present to her and that's when God gave me uh come to me you know so that was the song that I sang to her when she came down you know and the next day like she knew like after I proposed to her she knew she came back next day she was gonna get married oh I love all that I love all that I love all that man good Lord so y'all drop this video on your YouTube channel what made y'all jump into the YouTube space honestly um I felt compelled um literally I just I dropped the um the come to me a video just the song itself yeah YouTube just to get it started and literally we we literally felt by our peers and peers like you know saying hey you guys should start a channel you guys should start a channel definitely we have been recording all those moments everybody knew you know they seen our videos and then they saw the video of me presenting her flowers they saw the video of me coming to Memphis you know God Mom that video they saw the video of um you know her coming to Chicago you know and I and I I did something very special when she came to Chicago what'd you do um she had no idea I had a few surprises for her you know um I decided to shut down the jewelry store and take me and take her ring shopping yeah so we had all those special moments recorded and so my girlfriends were like people need to see this kind of love like this was that's the reason why man yeah yeah that's reason why I want y'all on here because y'all just be inspiring me no I'll be I'll be like see I know I ain't crazy because what because like I was a lot of stuff that I envisioned the stuff that I thought about it's like y'all did exactly what I saw like that's what was so crazy that's why I was like this is this is so cool and of course y'all had conversations with the the woman that that I was dating or whatnot because of course she was like now how did y'all know that fast now because she was just so skeptical about like girl how could you just trust somebody that quick how could you do this or whatever but getting her trauma her trauma was was talking and um and so it's cool so I love um I love that y'all were a part of that of that Journey or whatnot and um but just did y'all see my heartbreak video yeah I was crying I literally she was in tears and I was I was consoling her you almost had me in tears bro man I feel your pain man I feel you can you imagine losing her can you imagine losing at this stage man literally I I don't know what I would do without her how would you ever felt if two months in you would have lost a if she just said no and just walked away I would have felt like I didn't give a fair shot at this you know I don't feel like there was something left undone because when a man like turns on that gear of pursuit it's like like genuinely it's like all the way yep you know and I know you were there man I I know it that's why I I felt because I've been there before too where I've given my all and it never it didn't work out you know so I know what it means when it's lopsided yeah you know when someone's there watching TV I'm just using this example someone's hitting pause and then the other person is hitting uh play it's like I'm here but the other person's like no the TV off [Laughter] never line up the story will never line up if someone's play and then pause you know so every everyone wants to to have that love story yeah everybody wants that that God ordained fairy tale but it's in the waiting it is it is in the way I'm telling you that every waiting every waiting season has an expiration I want you to do this because we have to end this episode I want you to talk to that camera and I want you and I'll have both of y'all do this I want you to talk to men whatever God lays in your heart I want you to spend about a minute talking to men and I want you to come back and you speak to women whatever God lays on your heart Stefan to my brothers out there I want you to hear me real quick um whenever you see a woman that you are very interested in pursue her fully with the right intentions you know a lot of times you know we all have different means of why we've connected with a person you know and maybe God is showing you that she could be your wife or maybe have fear trauma or something that you're dealing with you know just really look at it from a perspective like is this God sin you know and if you be believe that God has sent her to you pursue her with genuine intentions and don't be afraid to those who are still waiting on you know um for God to see that person know that every waiting period has an expiration date it will expire your time will come and I would just want to encourage you I speak that this will be your story it may not happen in five months maybe it will happen in five months we're not trying to put a Time on what God can do but just know that God will come through for you love it thank you king queen talk to you talk to your sisters out there well to the ladies I just want to encourage you that God is faithful and just trust him with his timing because God makes everything beautiful in his timing and like um he does not forget our prayers he hears every prayer that you've prayed and he's going to answer is just all on his time so just be encouraged oh boy I love it I love it I love it the offers came dropped gems just hearing y'all story is absolutely amazing uh thank y'all so much for pouring out um I want this episode to be as long as it needed to be so so because because this this is powerful people are going to go crazy make sure y'all go follow their or subscribe to their YouTube channel uh that bad boy has grown to almost 25 000 subscribers in two months I want y'all to understand that that is a move of God because it takes a long time to build on YouTube uh y'all have a video on there there's over 400 000 views um again God God is very intentional I saw a video today where um Lala I was talking about um people aren't getting married anymore they don't see the value in it all this type of stuff and my heart grieved because and I saw another video later on with this other lady saying that men lose their marriage it's nothing that marriage affords men and I just said y'all just got it all wrong oh y'all got it so wrong and so I love how God's intentional on taking y'all's love story to say no I'm about Kingdom marriage I'm about Covenant um yeah people may be dissuaded about what marriage uh the value of marriage but God said no this is the first institution I created before I even created the church I created marriage um and so um thank y'all thank y'all for being obedient for being obedient to the voice of God because either one of y'all could have sabotized this any step of the way y'all could have just said nah I'm tapping out could have and that's why God gives us free will so we can decide whatever we want uh and y'all were obedient and y'all had a community and a tribe of people that supported y'all and even when at times where uh did you ever get weary in your well doing stuff on did you ever want to give up man so many times so many times I mean I had been made fun of you know because of my single life I wasn't the type of man that would always just date just a lot of women like I wouldn't yeah it was more like a sniper kind of yeah if you will um you know so yeah yeah weariness yeah I know what with waiting and what it looks like like it feels like nothing is happening yeah it's tangible you know but when I tell you it is so worth it you know [Applause] God remembered give it up for the offers y'all ladarian thrusted suddenly into Child Protective Services in 2015. my nephew black a boy the likelihood of being adopted outside of kinship slim to none Armani 16 years old black a boy with five years in the foster care system before I even knew his name the likelihood of ever being adopted yep you guessed it slim to none while ladarian and Armani were trying to survive and barely thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded foster care system I was living my own life doing well professionally having been a single father with a daughter who at that point was doing well in college it was my time to live my life right wrong I felt unsettled tireless agitated there are just too many of our black children stuck in ambiguity and in the limbo of the foster care system in 2017 I legally adopted my nephew ladarian fast forward to 2019 I had no ties to this other young king but I felt God instructing me to adopt him also and I obeyed starting over with parenting should have been enough right working with various foster care and adoption agencies to help bring awareness to the countless young black kings in the foster care system should have decreased my agitation right joining the board of directors of Advantage adoption an organization that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in foster care should have led to some type of resolve right no not at all none of it felt like I had done enough I now realize that every one of those experiences was land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission Kingdom Royale Kingdom Royale would be a luxury state-of-the-art home for foster boys our first location will be in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex we will utilize the whole person approach that instills identity empowers them to advocate for themselves and enlightens them regarding New Perspectives and Limitless options that they thought were impossible though the young kings will attend the local public schools that are in proximity to Kingdom Royale our at-home curriculum will broaden their world view through participating in the Arts attending various cultural events learning about and engaging and multi-faceted discussions about current events and even relevant historical context introducing them to gardening and Landscaping and even caring for our animals on our farm and on-site Stables we just launched our startup Capital campaign with the goal of raising 2.8 million dollars now why 2.8 million dollars well in 2017 I created a web series in which I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless Community one of the most notable successes was that one of the videos went viral garnering 28 million views however one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't raise a single dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable plan for the homeless community so throughout the years with much remorse I reflected on not maximizing that moment I knew if at that time just 10 percent of the viewers donated one dollar we would have raised at least 2.8 million dollars that could have really established long-term support for the homeless Community or at least started a long-term initiative to do so this is my do-over this is our new beginning together we can attack this at the root by specifically helping our homeless black boys who are already disproportionately represented in the American foster care system I'm laters R Whitfield I've been nominated for three regional Emmys documenting my work with the homeless as well as my personal adoption Journey despite those accolades the greatest award for me is truly providing the infrastructure for a transformed life visit kingdomroyale.com for more details crown of King and make a donation today this is just me it was this episode absolutely impactful I had to name it Miracle of love because watching this episode I know that's what your takeaway was like how did God allow all these things to align and for it to happen so beautifully and seamlessly well here's my favorite part of the podcast where I speak to my future wifey this is the month of February and you know well dear future wifey February Black History Month Valentine's Day you loving your Blackness celebrating your queenship honoring your strength and ability to be soft praising your accomplishments and steadfast unmovable Faith to rise above adversity rest Queen you've worked hard enough I'm here rest Queen shared disappointments and unmet expectations look to the heels from which comes your help place your back against mine we're in this thing together lean on me I got you exhale melt into my arms just rest Queen Dear Future Husband I hope you enjoyed this episode of the dear future wifey podcast remember be lit live intentionally and transparently and don't stop loving make sure to subscribe to our dear future wife YouTube channel we're available on Apple podcast Google podcast Spotify and Stitcher we welcome your support simply share our podcast with your friends and family

Channel: Dear Future Wifey

Views: 263,535

Keywords: dallas, love, podcast, relationships, black love matters, black men, Christianity, healing, weddings, marriage

Id: -crwgoOuOMI

Length: 99min 42sec (5982 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 01 2023