If Women Only Knew The Power of Their Femininity | April Mason | Dear Future Wifey S6, E629

women and I got to say this that women we we do and I was guilty of it too we always think we're so fabulous darling until we're asked the hard questions like what makes you valuable and don't give me what you do um how many degrees of a conflict which you've accomplished your good credit your sex tricks your nice body and your pretty face take those off the table and tell me who you are I did a tour and that was the first question I asked every tour stop that I went I said y'all know me y'all paid to be here tell me who you are and I made as many of us as I could get up and tell me who they are but only I would say 99 of them could not tell me who they are they told me what they did they told me they were mother they told me about their career they told me how God feared they told me basic stuff I said now go tell me take off the mask and tell me who you are what makes you a man want to marry you what and don't mention any of those things I never imagined my public healing would Inspire others to heal across the world I thank you for using him to reach the world with the message of Hope in relationships but your life does not God you are my publicist we laugh we share the unadulterated truth he said not only have I not divorced you I ain't exposed you oh we didn't marry fans we married forever and we wanted forever to act like a fan reveal her Jesus I will not compromise on getting a woman to God you don't have to and father I declare for his future wifey thank you for preserving her this season I declare Miracles and manifestations see you selling Scripts and you're unique you ain't like nobody else I noticed that right away you being true to who you are you're gonna attract it's a Hebrew word and it was translated wealth and it means people it means men it means resources and it means means I'm the pterosaur Whitfield and this is the dear future wifey podcast welcome to the dear future wifey podcast I'm your host lateris R Whitfield listen are you still shacking up with us this is season six come on y'all can we get a commitment hit that subscription button and subscribe we're on our way to Hidden 400 000 subscribers and we need everybody to do your part share this video tell people to subscribe make sure you turn on your notification Bell so you'll be notified about upcoming episodes listen um I know y'all been hearing me talk about our trip to Los Cabos our healing retreat with my buddy Paul Bossier Williams make sure that you go ahead visit the link in the description and reserve your spot November the 9th of the 12th we're partnered with I can't wait to travel for this amazing Retreat and those of you that got upset because we filled up when we were going to Jamaica here's your chance getting the chance to know it now so get your spot we have limited space available so get it I think it's only a hundred dollars to reserve your spot as a deposit so make sure you go do that listen um as y'all know this is my personal Journey as I discover uncover recovery love and so we're going to talk about some things but this episode is extremely personal to me because it's exactly what I'm looking for in a woman so without further ado welcome to the dear future wifey podcast y'all been asking me to get this queen on here put your hands together for her Miss April Mason y'all Hello darling thank you hello if I whatever do you mean see look at that see she she's already exuding all this femininity April how you doing I am doing fantastic okay Rihanna can you hear us she's talking in her sultry voice is that coming through the microphone all right all right so man get ready to be mesmerized as you listen to her uh yeah they are they are she said people be buying her uh her videos not even listening to what she's saying just listening to her say it I didn't know I had the gift The Voice gift so you said men have gotten your videos and said what um they say I'm not really listening to what you're saying I'm listening to your voice and so I'm like did you get anything out of were you empowered were you encouraged well I mean like any lessons they're like oh no well that's the opposite of these women because these women absolutely adore you April if I can tell you how many people have DM me saying get April get April even when I did the event at uh at New Birth what's up buddy uh that connected us his name is Chris yeah Chris was like you know who you need you need to get April and I was just like well I'm gonna get her on a a personal episode because he was trying to get you on the panel and I said this would be a full-out conversation because you have so much wealth to offer um I stated in the introduction is is I'm warning a woman that operates fully and unashamedly in her feminine energy reason being is that you know I grew up in the hood so a lot of women in the hood they they're a little hard I say well y'all hard I didn't realize what I was calling hard was them operating in their masculine energy you know the girls are coming punch in run off the girls that you know you're like dog I gotta I gotta wrestle you or something um so as I've grown older matured I found myself leaning towards women that are soft but strong they're strong because they are they are self-assured they are what society would consider a boss chick but she understands how to rest in her femininity um so today's episode is titled the power of femininity because the woman that you described it sounds like a woman who knows how to operate as the queen and the princess explain we're gonna jump in there so how can you operate as the queen and the princess you see think about this when you think about about a queen do you think of anything soft and gentle when you think of a queen or do you think dictatorships she rules you know I'm a little nervous to be around her you know I have to kind of bow down because I don't know what the Queen's gonna do but a princess yeah daddy will go over the queen to get the princess what she wants Daddy's Little Girls right mom said no you can't have it Daddy please Mommy I know Mommy said no but and all you got to do is give the eyes to Daddy please and daddy will say oh she can have it so hello April is that what you is that what you teach women to be the queen and the princess yeah yes because see the queen see your energy speaks before you right your energy precedes you so you don't have to tell anyone that you're a woman about your business you don't have to tell anyone that you got it going on people can tell by how you present yourself because I teach my ladies that you are the therm the temperature in the room not the thermostat the thermostat can be changed but I set the temperature in this room so when you are the queen and the princess you can walk in a room full of what do you want to call us let me think a better word to call them um powerful men are you about to say high value I can't stand the two you know why I can't stand the time why because people don't know the difference between high value and high earning and that's what I said and I said they don't know the difference between High earning and how high values and so we caught we talk about a high value attaching it to a monetary things but does he does he have high value use yes and that's what we don't talk about even talk about the high value man they never talk about does he respect his mama does he respect himself does he honor you does he honor God it has nothing to do with anything that brings a value system that you need in America yes it's all about the paycheck and I believe right now you know we see what's going on and I think men that make six figures think they have value and I believe women that think that they are they make the six figures and have it going on on paper that their wife material but that nobody has done anything if you think about it all of this work people have done to become successful but the area of your life you really need to be worried about you have done nothing nothing to prepare to be a wife or a husband so now if you notice when you watch these talk shows and they these women come on up I can't find a man because I am a software engineer and I take this and this is not the third you never hear them say you know what uh Tamron Hall you know what Steve Harvey or whoever I am single because I can't find a man who needs a soft and gentler woman a man that wants a woman who is interdependent resourceful she is a woman who knows how to be in the Queen and Princess energy she's a woman that is agreeable but she will challenge you she's a woman that I'm a woman that knows how to be what it means to be a woman help me find somebody who needs a woman like that no I don't cook all the time but I can make sure that you eat I'm a woman that I'm a good for his peace Legacy and his portfolio Steve can you help me find somebody do we ever hear that absolutely not because you won't have a hard time connecting with a man if you lead with that fact but I've never watched the show and I said I wonder if I'm the only one that noticed this about these shows that the women never leave with woman traits they come to the table with the same thing men have but that's an added bonus and that's what I've taught my ladies be successful I'm a very successful woman but I don't lead with that you know so I'm like y'all trying to give a cat dog food and wonder why it's not taking it honey that becomes the problem Miss April why won't they I said because most women have never studied the psychology of a man and how y'all move there it is how do you want this but you don't know how it worked that's it but men y'all know how to get us y'all have studied us you know how to look good you know how to smell good you know how to have a good job you know even if you don't you know how to present like you do you know yes you know what to do back in the day in my club days when I used to be at the club at Oakland sweet Jimmy's honey sweet Jimmy's and the oak tree every weekend right the men would drive by in their 5.0 the nice cars trying to get the girls so men have studied what moves us but when you tell women well you got a stroke of ego why I gotta do that that means that means uh you know he need validated you know why I got to be his peace he should be peaceful when we meet and it has nothing to do with that it's their interpretation yes of what that is yes so I see it I've been doing this work for actually well over 15 years and it does it hasn't changed it's like if you study a man like men study us it'll be a whole lot easier what do you think when um and we you and I discussed this earlier about the red pill community that may look at you as been someone that is manipulating men the only thing is the fact that being a woman and a woman charm is now looked at as manipulation tells us How Far We've we've gone off the script right because the fact that you all know what to do to get us but yet if I use feminine language when I'm talking to you based upon how you are wired am I manipulating or have I studied what type of way I should be talking to you because if I yell at you and say later get that garbage out and then if I do all that you're not gonna hear me but I'm gonna say oh honey um darling can you it looks like you look so sexy when you take that garbage out is that manipulating you or is that learning I'm gonna take out our garbage the neighbors garbage everybody down the street garbage everybody you're taking out their day and I I believe that what women are and what we have always been it's looked at as manipulation because here's the thing I will say this y'all listen you can use your femininity for good or for evil yes so it's how you choose to use it if I'm choosing to manipulate you with it then that's what I'm doing but if I'm with you and I understand how you're wired why would I go against how you're wired and try to get something from you there it is why would I do that that's the part that I understand so I have heard people say oh you teach women how to manipulate men no do or do I don't but do I just teach women how to talk to men in general because men receive information from us in a different way so I love talking to my guests about how they arrive to where they are now so let's unpack this um yeah we're going to talk about you April we're going to talk about you how did you become this woman that people love today um because a lot of times people say how you gonna teach people how to get married and you're not married the same way a man can be a gynecologist and he doesn't have a vagina I mean help me put do think about it come on think about it do we ever question a man who is a gynecologist that can help you get rid of whatever you get and that can help you know push out these babies he will never know what it means to have a vagina a woman will never know that goes in and you know she checked y'all rectums and all of that stuff to make sure you're good yeah does she have a prostate like that no but you will go to her and you would normally most men prefer a woman to do it yeah right yeah so if you prefer a woman to do it and she doesn't have what you have make it make sense I just find that some people just want to complain about everything and attack everything that is opposite of what they think in the first place but what they don't realize is that it's not that it's not you're not married but you've been married before and so there's a lot of things that you've learned being a wife yes so when you think about that how long are you married in the past look it was so wrong I don't even remember um hey girl said it was so wrong I don't remember not so it was so long like 66 years but here's the thing you will never hear me talking negatively about my ex-husband because he I chose him based upon where I was so I don't get on I line talking about these men do this and these men do that I more so look at it as who was I showing up as and was this person nothing more than a mirror to who I was and so I shouldn't have been married he should have got a hello and I should have kept on walking but because of my self-esteem and I dealt with 12 years of sexual abuse from the age of five to 17. I've dealt with two rings five to seven yeah five it started at five yes was it the same person no it was actually my neighbors no I dealt with it from my first experiences for my neighbors and I dealt with it for my father and stepfather you said neighbors neighbor it was it was it was it was my neighbors that were babysitting me um they were young they were girls at that so it was girls sexually assaulting you at five they really didn't want to play doctor and then it went to your father biological and stepfather and then um family family members it it just what it was in our family at that time um and I know I know I know no listen I am so so sorry to hear that first of all and when I tell you that has become the recurring theme yeah this season uh it just it it baffles me like laugh it just it just yeah yeah it's um so you know what the thing is for me to be able to sit up here and still say I really love men and have gone through that there had to be some real in-depth healing that had to take place in order for me to even do what I do and have been doing it for so long so for me dealing with that when you have gone through traumas you choose people that are in alignment with your trauma they call them trauma bonds yeah I'm still stuck over at 12 years and it's like yeah your own father and then your stepfather and then neighbors it's like why like what is that always wonder when I hear about um huh trying to get most I always wonder how when it's been a sexual assault on a woman it becomes repetitious it's like they'll give stories like oh yeah it happened when I was this and then my boyfriend did this and then I went on a date and it was date raped this and then it was this and they'll just have these reoccurring stories of the same thing and it's like what is that what what is this a spirit that attaches to you to where it send some message to other people that say Hey I can do this to this young girl what is that that's what everything see what how I looked at it and and viewed it was more so when you go through stuff like that it becomes your normal it becomes normal to you so anything that happens after that your your program because you know our the ages that we we learn the most are between what zero and seven right so imagine knowing so much so young you know and so I had to I actually suppressed who I was for years even as of recent I did an interview with Essence at an article and they asked it was I forgot the question but I realized at 46 I didn't even want to be seen I was like what is it so my good friend I want to be seen I didn't want to be seen so when it that question that whatever the question was that they asked it caused me to have to go within and say why don't you want to be seen and so my here's what's seeing what you mean you don't want to be on video you don't want to be no it was more so video you know we can get online we can take our phones we can shut that down so I have a headquarters in Atlanta and I was going to put my brand all things feminine on the Marquee out front and my good friend Dr Bobby Price I sent him I sent him the mock-up he was like this is nice but he now he always challenged me he said that's nice but why don't you put April Mason headquarters on the building and it caused me to have to think about that and I thought about it for a couple of days and it came to me you don't you didn't want to be seen there was still something about you being seen because you can hide behind behind the brand right and so it caused me to have to think about what caused you to not want to be seen and it stemmed from growing up a lot of times even those of us in the most um wonderful positions whether it's your favorite Pastor your favorite Professor celebrity we get triggered too doesn't mean we don't know what we're talking about right but we get triggered as well so that question was a trigger and it made me have to go within and I said why don't you want to be seen what are you hiding from and it I realized I didn't feel safe and that's what it was it's like you don't feel safe and I started noticing my body language although I mean amazing people all the time are very friendly and very warm somebody could be talking to me and I could I would notice I'm I'm like this leaning back I'm leaning back and I had to become I became aware of that and I'm like why this person isn't harming me this person isn't doing anything to me why am I doing this and so it all came together for me and so for me to get over that I put my name real big on my building when you drive by there you see April Mason headquarters and I put it on the door how long did it take you to do that from having that conversation the moment I had the aha moment how long was that that was two days because I had two days because I had to figure out the pieces of why I'm a deep thinker it's more so okay why did I feel triggered where did it come from and how do I fix it so I teach my ladies assess a situation except what it is and decide how you're going to move forward and so I said no you know what and I sent Bobby back I never told that one more time you please assess the situation accept then accept what it is and then decide how you're going to move forward and all I did was send Bobby back the picture of the new Marquee and that was it and from that point on I was like I had to tell myself no April you're safe like what you're still trying to protect that little girl but you're safe you you find you carry a 380 everywhere you are safe baby so uh words and wise April stay strapped uh just stay strapped um so how did you move during your uh teenage years having come from that were you did you find yourself because you have two types of women you have the women that become hypersexual from that or the ones that become very closed off and you know uh don't want you touching them or whatever which type of one were you you know interesting is I became I don't know so you got me talking you got me telling it y'all talk I became a man-eater this is what I mean I became the woman that I I could look at you and if if I could feel like I could conquer you I'll send you back I'll never forget it was one time I was at the same Club in Oakland I walked in with my girls there was this guy his girl's back was to me he was face he was they were dancing he locked eyes with me and I was like yeah he can be he can be taken like that that's that wasn't even a thought that he couldn't so I go to the ladies room and he I come out and he was standing there and I said I know you'd be here and he said how did you know I said because I saw you he said what did you see I said I watched you watch me and he said well you know that I'm just on a date I said now now that you've come over here I've captivated you that much that you would leave the girl you went to come and get my number I said my job is done I'm not interested did you say my job is done yeah that was my way yeah that was that's what happened that you could just because I could so I didn't get overly promiscuous or getting overly um withdrawn it was like it was almost like now that I think about it that was my way of getting back at the men that had violated me because I knew I could and so that's what I did I didn't want any of them it was just the fact that I know yeah you easy did you ever take it to the next level and just got a guy and just played them no because that's too much work that's baby I don't like working like that honey that's too much work it was just to know yeah because that means you got to start you got to start being extra stuff and then I didn't want you in the first place so then I don't want you to touch me it was just it was a game to me it's what it was so you never looked at and be like well I'm gonna get on the paper rent I'm gonna do that you said it's just too much work that was too much work that was but see that's the thing though what I didn't realize was I always carried the feminine energy it was just at the naive points because I say there's the naive feminine the sexual feminine and where I am now which is the grounded which is why I can talk and teach millions of women like I do so what's the naive what I was doing you didn't know you just knew that you could attract I I knew but I was not like I watch my granddaughter my granddaughter especially the youngest one she's getting ready to be four and she's in her rawest form of her femininity to where she knows how do you want to be doing this yeah my heart grabbed me you're my heart Grammy did I disappoint you because you're my heart I love her um but yeah she knows like at its rawest form how to use it and when to use it for manipulation I told you so you know you can use it for good or bad she knows exactly you said she does that when she gets in trouble she does it when she gets in trouble and like we were at this restaurant and I told her I said sit down mama and she got up and she ran I'm like I'm not changing to you and she ran all the way around out I sat there and I waited running around the restaurant he ran all the way around and came back and I'm like okay she got back to me and I said Lonnie she said yes ma'am I said why didn't you listen she was like I just I just I said get up there and sit down she says are you angry with me and I said I'm very disappointed Lonnie boo grab me please forgive me and she said No at this point she's on her knees looking at me in the chair and she's about to be four but she's a petite so she looks like she's about one and a half she's real tiny so I call her my little rabbit and I'm looking at her and my daughter's sitting across the table not Fades she's like ma did she do this ain't nobody giving her no slack she always on punishment at home so I said Lonnie why did you do that she said I'm very I'm so sorry I'm very so sorry she says granny Grammy you're my heart please forgive me you're my heart don't be mad at me Grammy and I'm like I'm disappointed please so she knew she knew now when I told your tail to sit down you knew that you knew you were supposed to do that and you're looking at me while you running so you knew that but the moment you get in trouble it's like ah I'm gonna turn it on yeah it's like bam so how do you so do you try to break that no how what do you do with that I allow her to be in her that naive side but I discipline her as well because what we have done is we have taken that away from our young girls stop crying you know you know Big Girls Don't Cry yes we do because I'm getting ready to be 48 this month and I will cry on you real quick and I don't even sometimes I don't even know why I'm crying she said sometimes look at the little rabbit and he's the rabbit got his babies I not just he cried I just be crying and I don't need next minute you know I'm laughing then it's like oh my God look at the tree ask this why why did you so casually say your age why don't you you don't you don't you know sometimes women be like I want to tell my age and all this why why are you not like that because I I don't have a problem with I don't see the problem I've never understood why we didn't everybody just said don't tell your age but they never told us why not so what am I supposed to do like so he asked me how old I am oh man never ask later age yes he does he want to know if you're ovary's still working ciao to see if you got some babies what what do you say he want to know if you don't have a hysterectomy so because he don't want no more babies like what are you are you are you in Perry or menopause or your menopause so because he might want somebody that's you know in that state because he don't want so yeah I don't want no problem with that oh God that yeah they never told me why not have you ever did you ever realize they didn't tell us how they always say a man doesn't ask a woman a gentleman doesn't ask the woman her age I was like why and then you get twice like R Kelly and then and then they say well he should have known how old it was he was trying to be a gentleman you can you do a ripe you right you're not about to have me call coughing are you acting up I'm sorry that's what I said I'll be asking I'll be wanting to know I'll be knowing what I don't know what it is I've never had a problem um with that because I never understood why not well you know what I did hear something recently that someone said matter of fact on the plane here I heard it she said sometimes men would ask women their age to disqualify them or Sometimes women when they're a certain age on a job yeah you know they just get discriminated against and so my thing is if it's a situation like that no I'm gonna let you meet me first and then ask me my age and if it's a job or whatever it is I want you gonna make an adjustment for me for me yeah well you know typically we don't want them 48 but we'll make an exception there it is you know so I don't have a problem with it because I'm free in who I am you know I want to talk about this uh and we'll go back to you know what you've learned in your marriage stuff that you've adjusted growing up but on that plane ride we had this funny conversation that happened what happened say one of the situations that happened between a male oh well I don't live luggage when I'm at the airport like and I don't have to ask anybody to do it so there's this gentleman and you know he's he's a frail older man just he has I could tell he has Parkinson's he was shaking and whatnot and he looked at me he said uh can I put your bag up and I said you absolutely can and so uh we're we're talking for a brief moment as he's putting it up and I said all of the muscles you got of course you can put my bag up now he was this big ciao but he's doing something nice for me I could boost as they go a little bit because he had to have some sort of muscles put him up there and so when he sits next to me he says I just wanted to make sure it was okay and I said excuse me he said you know today you can't just help a woman and because it can make her feel like you believe as a man that I believe that she's not capable I said if you ever see me in the airport the grocery store anywhere else feel free to carry bags and put them up I said I'm not one of those but I think my energy said that it was okay how is that how does a woman walk in that energy where guys are drawn to you like that because that's not even uh that's just not an isolated situation even when you sat on the plane you were eating something and what happened oh the guy when I when I got um the other guy coming on when I had to transfer the plane soon I'm sitting there eating my breakfast and he says um did you get me something I said Well if I knew you were coming I would have gotten two so what's all this pimping going on because that goes wow that's pimp and April you know dang well you weren't even interested in that dude but why does me being nice to you and heavy Woody banter to you equal I'm interested romantically well you sit there and say if I knew you was here I would have brought too yeah I'd have brought my grandkids up I would have brought you some I would have brought everybody in the staffs up like why do why when a lady is cordial and she has witty banter and charm that you automatically think because you guys are quick to tell us just because a man does something nice for you it doesn't mean he's interested that's why you get friend zone they'll be getting friend zone because that men will start doing nice gestures and then when you next thing you know he want to be your friend and he's doing nice gestures and then as my friend I'm gonna talk to you about the man that I just met that I'm going out with friend now he mad why are you mad well you know I wasn't doing all I was doing all this stuff because I like it no because on one end y'all will say yeah just because a man does nice things for you it does not mean he's romantically interested then on the other hand it's well if he's doing all that stuff he moving you and all that that you know he ain't doing that make brush make up your mind help help us help you stay out the friend zone because we don't know one minute is this one minute is that I'm confused have you had that happen several times we're a guy you're thinking that is just platonic but he has and he's treated you platonically but then once you start talking about other guys or dating other guys or whatever he getting in his feelings oh yeah and then what do they what do they normally say it's like so you went out on a date like yeah let me tell you about it because see here's the thing people do this you know we need to be friends first if you want to be my friend I'm going to treat you like a platonic friend no matter what you do for me you want to be a friend and if I'm honest women actually want a man who they're romantically interested in who becomes their friend if you say you just want to be my friend don't be mad when I'm like oh guess what friend I had this date last night is it don't be mad oh really Oh I thought you was at home what why you why you have this little Stone in your voice like so that's why you have to open your mouth I don't take any gesture that a man does for me to equal he likes me unless he tells me that he makes it very clear you got to make it clear as these contacts that I'm wearing right now if you do not I I don't take hints I don't take kind gestures as anything because y'all have programmed us that if a man does something nice for you it does not mean he wants to be with you so unless you say listen I've been watching you and I like your Vibe and I'm actually interested in more I don't want to be your friend I want to get to know the woman you say something else like that to me at that point I can make a informed decision if you don't come on friend you want to go walking with me friend friend can you um can you come look at is everything gonna do your friends because that's what you said so here's the thing if I give you I'm giving you what you said you wanted let me ask you that why is it when we give y'all what you say you want then y'all get mad because I'm this is what I believe when we give you exactly what you say you want imagine a situation where a man and a woman they're just hanging out he's saying he don't want nothing she's saying she don't want nothing now when she doesn't call you and harass you and what you doing and all that why do y'all feel some sort of way about that is to me it feels like you want us to do that so you can reject us I told you what it was well no it gives them an out it gives them an out when because I know dudes that do that all day so it's like saying listen they get the the freedom to move how they want to move with no responsibility and so um like you see uh those Billboards drink responsibly yes I believe you should date responsibly yes because at the end of the day it's like I have no responsibility but then if things get romantic you mess around end up having sex then and if you come and talk about oh so what so so what so what we doing like what do you mean what we doing he's like I mean like we've been hanging out we've been doing this whatever he's like well no I mean we cool you know what I'm saying like it ain't it ain't nothing but then when you go do a him on him yeah then he like y'all can't take it no I can't take it out he's like oh so you just been to sleep with me and then go hang out with somebody else and you finna go do this it's like it just because it throws them up that's what you because I've I had that happen to me yeah I remember one incident it had to be about 10 15 years ago and I wasn't looking for nothing or anything and he said the same thing and then we would hang out we would get together and I remember one night he looks over at me and he's like so April what's up I'm like what you mean it was like you know us I'm like there what what is us and he was like I said remember we said we weren't looking for anything and remember you said that he said yeah until I found it I'm like oh oh you found it is it me um but I he wasn't me for me you know he was for a purpose and so and we had great times the other day he wasn't me for me you know and so I'm like wait a minute you said I mean you gave this whole Spiel when we met you know I'm like looking at I'm in my career and I'm like okay cool perfect I'm in the same I was recently divorced so I'm not trying to settle down I'm not trying to do that okay perfect you're and you're six foot five and you fine and all and you look good in the suit so if I need you for anything I could bring you out to the pit you know if I need your face perfect and then we go all separate ways it didn't work like that mint and for me have always flipped in some sort of way and it's like but and then how did you handle that did you continue going on with what you've already had established with him or did you have to cut them off I had to cut them off because my thing is I'm very honest when it comes to that stuff it's if I'm interested you'll know it if I'm not you will I'm not the lead you on kind I'm very very clear you know about that so once if during that time if brother catch feelings and I wasn't trying to feel those feelings I'm trying to catch them back I'm like oh you know what how did you say it in your feminine way you know I don't love you know you will make an amazing husband for someone I'm just not in that phase right now and this was right after my divorce so I wasn't trying to lock anybody in I said but maybe you know if you're available when I get to that place we can Circle back so you left them with a little bit of hope you always do that April why do you always do that's not fair you shouldn't do that if you have no but because we do we know the future you know if you have no if you feel like there's no alignment with him no I didn't say there was no alarm if you feel like there's no well if there's the only would say that if there's something about them I just I wasn't ready I was recently divorced I understand why you do but it doesn't mean he does not doesn't mean he's not a good man we're here now did you have you ever thought about him since then and say you know what I may go Circle The Block no he's married he got married well before that before he got married no I moved I moved to Atlanta this is the phone still works look I got all the excuses relations during that time I was still coming into this I was getting out I literally had to work out this whole play thing that I had you know and I and when I started going through my healing journey I realized April you didn't want to settle down like that especially during that time because you had to really go through this healing Journey but like like you said for me I didn't get promiscuous and I didn't get where I was reserved it became imma hurt y'all the way you hurt me but not from a like in a relationship and going in trying to just be it was more so if I'm walking down the street and I see you it's like oh yeah that one I think earlier that one easy right there you know it was like that you know and it became a game you know for me but thank God for delivering no let me ask you this has it did it ever backfire on you never never so you tell me it was never a situation where you you did that and the guy got you caught up nope really here's the thing if I you can't get me caught up unless I want you to break that down to me we have to give people power to do certain things if I've ever been caught up with the man it's because I chose to be not because he manipulated or anything no I I choose to engage in whatever this thing is that we're engaging with but I I was just not I was not that woman back then it was more so Catch Me If You Can I'm a butterfly catch me you know and they would they would try to conquer because but I just I didn't have it you know I didn't I didn't I'm so thankful for who I am become yeah because I look back at that I'm like girl you are horrible you were but not but not in a way that I was hurting people it was more so because I wouldn't get deep with people you know it was more in passing it was not more it was not I'm about to do it just bruising the ego that's all it was because it was like let me I can do this I can do this she was like huh no yeah yeah yeah something like that yeah in the day is like he hasn't invested in you that much like when he started investing in you buying you stuff paying your Cardinals doing all that stuff we go together at that point yeah so that's the thing I'm a woman of love so even when I was going through that I knew I've still a woman who loves love so you ain't gonna so you won't even let a man do that unless you were no reciprocating yes so I understood every season in my life as an adult I understood the season that I was in and I operated accordingly so what's the balance of allowing a guy to do for you I call it the pick up your bag approach um we're gonna call it the proverbial bag because some guys will pick up a bag a Chanel purse for you a pickup uh your rent like we said a pickup you know some shoes or buy you stuff take your own trips when do you what's the balance between allowing or not allowing guys to do that at certain stages of the dating or the pursuit of interest you have to know what you who you are where you are and what you can handle okay because every woman can't handle a man doing all those things I'm a woman that believed just because a man's with money spends money on you it doesn't mean he cares about you facts he's used to spending money but a busy man who actually gives you his time that's the man you should be paying attention to so you have to know where you are at that point and at the back then I was in my early but I was in my late 20s early 30s you know no I was in my early 30s because that's why I got divorced in my 30s so it was like you know I wasn't trying to do all of that but when you start maturing and getting to know yourself you know what you can and can't deal with but it's understanding that a man is so much more than his wallet and so I now you can't be broke now we don't we don't do broke bro we do broke is not of God April why you say broken isn't of God because it's not what we're saying the Bible protection oh okay hold on let me wait I'm not a bible thumper but I think over in Timothy it says I think I think ain't it is it one or two Timothy I don't say it I don't know it was the first Timothy is it first Timothy okay so I think it's somewhere in Timothy it says a man that does not take care of his family is worse than the Infidel that's what it says okay so I know it's somewhere in there I do know it depends on what you call taken care of you say it can't be broke what does yeah let's let's let's let's monetize what broke is what is broke to you um this is what my grandfather taught me good he said a man if you're going to take a Man's last name he has to be able to provide for you a hundred percent now it doesn't mean that you can't have your own it doesn't mean that you know if you wanted to do something around that you can't it doesn't mean that and so for me I start really researching marriage in The Institute of Marriage and how it came about and all of the ring and all of the licensing and all of that stuff so this is how I feel about it ciao and this is humorous but I'm for real because we'll talk about it women were seen as property facts the moment you put that ring on her finger she becomes Mrs Chad Johnson Mrs you know Keith Roberts right right I became your property a matter of fact I posted it yesterday on my Instagram a young lady just got engaged off of my trainings and uh her wedding is until 2024 and I'm so used to we've had like a 90 95 success rate of Our Ladies going through our trainings getting engaged and married within a year so I'm like 20 24. and I said do you mind telling me why 2024 she says he has to have money to pay my Dowry before he can marry me yes and so I understood it so for me listening to I wish I would have listened to my grandfather when I got married but I was in that no we can build together what is the African Nigerian she I don't remember what she is I know she lives in Paris but I'm not sure exactly what she is she said to pay his diary no she's had a traditional I think she said a traditional Haitian wedding if I'm not mistaken in my message but I'm just one of those that understand if you want me to take your last name darling according to Moses Mason sound all biblical to Moses that's him that was my that was my guy he said a man should be able to provide for you 100 100 does it mean you sitting around eating bon bons and all of this other stuff it just means before you take his last name because remember a woman used to go from her father's house being 100 provided for to her husband why am I gonna go over here and struggle with you and I can stay with my daddy but with the way Society has changed and a woman is living on her own and got her own situation her own bills then is that still the case is that should that still be the culture in the it depends on it depends on that woman and that man like for instance I only date men who live by those standards so I don't have that I don't meet people that's that don't do that I own I I date older men anyway you know they kind of the ogs they kind of there's like no my woman don't pay for nothing you know I remember I remember I tried to take someone um that I was dating I tried to take him it was his birthday it was Father's Day and I got dinner I was trying to surprise him do you know by the time we got back home he had snuck and went to the ATM and when I went home the money was back in my purse he would not allow that and I called him I said did you put money into my purse he said I didn't go in it your purse was open and I just dropped it in I said well I took him to dinner and to a car show and reimburse you yep thank you did you say thank you yes yes yes and because he wasn't raised as a woman doing spending her money like so is that a problem for them it was I'm talking about for you though you wouldn't feel like well dog at least want to do something for you he said no because you got to also understand the type of people that you date I date men but have dated men who for them it's the thought that you wanted to do something nice for me but I'm not fixing this is here and let you pay for it and I'm like well honey it's your birthday it's it's it's your day um thank you I got the check and I've had I've always had that happen so I don't know this whole societal thing and I think peop women that want men that are providers as such as what I'm saying talking about they don't know how to be in that feminine space to attract those kind those men they love the feminine woman so you hear this whole 50 50 thing and I don't know what that is because I don't deal with that because it's a whole other demographic of men that believe in being this protector and provider but that it's not that you can't have your own or that they're trying to control it's just embedded in them that a man takes care of the household so you say older do you have an age range child I recently tried to hook me up with somebody 71. but let me tell you this I accidentally went out with somebody 72. accidentally after this I'm gonna show you him you're not gonna you're not gonna think he's 72. he's an accident it was accidentally but he did a you on you which you said I'm gonna introduce I'm gonna introduce myself to you and then I'll reveal my age later like you said about a job thing yeah he did that but we met at the gym and I thought he was no more than 52 to 55. and so he he's always been sweet he would spot me one on the on the Little Machines he showed me how to use them and he was like April I would like to go out with you and I said you know what I like that too he said what are you doing this weekend I said whatever you say we doing is what we doing dang well see see I told you April boy she we got she able Got Game well I didn't have anything I'm to do so I'm leaving it open for him whatever you say we doing it's what we doing and so we went out and um he said well meet me at my house I I'm a good judge of character and energy and so he's the older man he's not gonna do nothing child working out the gym leave that part yeah well how what really to start letting me know the age now he wanted peacock you know how y'all be peacocking he wanted me to see the Mercedes and all the cars and things it was around the holiday time this this was probably about five years ago holiday time and I went by the house it was a hot as all get out in there and he had the remember your grandma and the Grandmama Christmas candies he had the Christmas candies and the night and I had a little strawberry things no no remember the can it was Christmas time of Christmas candy would all they they stuck together and you literally got to break them bad boys so he had those and then he had um his I could tell at that point and so we went bowling and he tried to kiss me and he went and I was like oh my God oh my God that way he's like I like you he said use your words back you said that we doing whatever you said we do yes it wasn't a love connection because um what are you doing what do you say I like you he's I like you he's like come sit on my lap and then immediately I'm like oh I feel like like Daddy like he said he went from zeddy to Daddy and I was like ah yeah cause we were bowling and the thing is he wanted to he wanted to hold my hand everywhere we were we went so we were going somewhere and I needed something on my stomach so I could take my medicine and so he said what do you want I said oh some fries let's go this can we go to Chick-fil-A and his friend she said yes I'm thinking he's going through the drive-thru no he wants to get out hold my hand parade me around just to go at Chick-fil-A to get surprised I said something is up and that's what I found out later though he told me I said how old are you I said because he said how do you think I myself no more than like 55 he said April I'm 72 and it started all makes sense and every time I was in the candy starts if this make it makes sense because he all he wanted all of my time see at that stage they want to go to the jazz festivals they want to go on the cruises you cannot have a life with those because I'm like whoa and I was like well how old are your kids he's oh yeah my daughter's your age really I said how does your daughter your children feel like you know you're dating somebody their age as long as I'm happy as long as and then he said to me the thing is just in case you're wondering everything works and I was like I don't need that visual oh goodness just in case you're wondering but here's the thing it wasn't love connection but I passed men along you hooked him up with somebody else I did um I did are they still together he didn't like her because she wasn't in the fitness as a matter of fact I asked him and I did this couple times I said hey I have an arsenal of women you know can you I said it's not a love connection between us I do think you're a great guy but I our lifestyles and that's something that I look for our life has to be in alignment he ready to just explore the world and at that time you know my everything was happening for me at the time and I was actually filming a television show and so I I would tell them that I had you know I was going to set he had called me three times that day well when you where you at what you doing I'm like I've been told this man either his memory gone or he just want somebody to hang out with he bored I hooked him up with some older ladies and he was like make sure she don't look she gotta look right because she goes to the gym and so I'm a woman that if it's I go out with someone and it's not a love connection I will hook them up with somebody else I believe in that right there like I don't I don't hold anybody hostage like that yeah and I think it takes a lot of maturity to do that exactly um and I've done that with several guys and they're like what the girl gonna think I said just just act like we friends because that's which you don't have to know none of that other stuff and to me it's just women can be like oh he liked you first well it's so childish to me it's like well he's seen me so but he might have liked you first if he would have saw you that's what I'm saying I had a conversation with my friends about this number I just don't like that I said why I said that is so immature if you met somebody before you met them like you say met you first so you're gonna be like well I just don't like it that that you may have talked to somebody that I know it'd be like yeah I don't care about that because the one girl I did hook him up with um he kept calling me he was like she keeps saying so how you know April so how you know April as a telephone your daughter's friends get off my line tell her you wanted to get started because I thought they would have made a really cute and they were more compatible because she had the free time she was retired as well and um I just thought it would have been you know to tell him you're done yeah so he was like that didn't work I said well I got another one like I will hook a man that I've gone out on a date with up real quick like because I like to see people connected yeah you know I'd like to see people because I understand the Journey of love I do yes me too and it's like the Journey of love is like I've talked to women over the past that I've congratulated when they found the person to get married yes because you know in the time I know I'm not the one for him so I I can applaud that it's like listen I love love so at the end of the day if I'm the process before the promise then so be it yes yeah it's albeit hopefully you learn some things with me hopefully I learned some things from you to make you and we make each other better for the people that God has designed for us I feel the exact same way you know and one of the guys he actually got married recently and I coached him through that um because he was like April she didn't do anything for me for my 60th birthday and my birthday is on New Year's Eve or something like that he was saying and I'm like well you know say this and say that do find out what the deal is yeah and so he went deeper with her and you know she cracked and shared you know God got vulnerable they got married last year wow and um he sent me a picture and I said I am so happy for you because I know this is what you wanted yeah this is what you wanted and that 8 000 square foot house you got older I said I'm glad you did not fool with any of these other ones she's what you needed she's in alignment with your lifestyle explain what you mean by that fool with the other ones we'll see the other ones once we decided you know what not he would call me about these other women all the time he said April guess what I said tell me what happened honey and um they would like him because he was a he was a very successful man had retired from the military after 25 years and was getting ready to retire from FedEx as a he was in more of a corporate position there and women saw that big old house he had and I remember it was his birthday and she didn't do nothing and I went over there and brought him some some balloons I said open up the door you got a delivery and so I just wanted to make him feel special you know because at that point it was strictly platonic and so that was my first time seeing the house I said oh I see what I want they're trying to get over here the Landscaping he did is himself I mean the house was he's how many how big is his house about 8 000 square feet and it's just him he said well come here let me show you something he said this is the room that I created for my wife this is going to be her vanity room oh that's so sweet he said yeah I want her to have her own space so he was preparing himself for that and then he met this other the young lady that he's married to now when he met her he sent me a picture of her he said what you think I said oh she's beautiful I said what did she do I was asking questions and so um they started having some rocky times and I'm like I think you need the better just a little bit longer because I think she might be more in alignment with the lifestyle that you're looking for and he did and they got married last year how long was it Dayton how long was the courtship less than a year that's my track record I don't that that's always been my track record and people say how do you help people get engaged and married in a year I said with women I teach them how to embrace their femininity say it's not about the man the embracing your femininity will attract the type of man you want now you can there's a difference between attracting and entertaining and I think people don't understand that because I'm not responsible for what I track but you're responsible for what you need to entertaining and I always use this analogy like this cup right here this cup has is water in it right in here it has good man bad men and different men and all kind of other things in here based upon where you are will determine what you gonna pull out of here it doesn't mean good men don't exist they in here you're just not in alignment with them in in order to attract them I mean or to entertain them so you're not even gonna pull that out you're going to pull out somebody that is a mirror to what you are versus what you say you want because think about it how many of us were actually prepared to be married or did we just get out here our hormones hormones all over the place I like you you like me oh my god let's get married yeah and some of us wasn't even in love I wasn't in love or anything when I got married I was taught if he loved God he'll love you they didn't teach me about chemistry compatibility lifestyle standards and values as long as God he was that's it that's it and so I had to learn no there's more to that because even with um our lifestyles I learned after we married he wanted to live on like 90 acres of land and I'm like oh no I'm from California honey this is not what we would what we gonna do over there with no neighbors like what are we doing so we did I didn't even know to ask those questions it was he loves God and that should be enough right and so I teach differently I take I teach Bible ladies and I always ask them okay so you say you ready for a while you ready for your Boaz but you have done nothing to prepare for him you're prepared to be a business partner but you're not prepared to be a wife what's the difference all these degrees that they go hard for and nothing wrong ladies understand this I'm not saying anything is wrong with that but the same effort that you put into climbing the corporate ladder getting your business off the ground doing what you got to do being a boss I can't stand that phrase I was about to ask you what you think about this I can't I don't like it because the energy that comes behind it here's the deal when was the last time you heard a woman say oh my God letters I am such a boss chick I'm like really really a boss chick I'm a bad B you know this is who I am or is it I'm a boss yeah there's more energy Yes Energy it's the energy that's different because you don't you don't you can't say I'm a boss like and somebody take you serious like that you because when women say I'm a boss yeah no I've accomplished this I did this without a man nobody gave me no handouts it's that energy you know I train women in business to be feminine CEOs that's the Queen and Princess energy that we spoke about earlier I trademarked that y'all don't be trying to use that I was just about to take it no it's trading my baby listen my trademark attorney gets so upset with me I text her all down search this and then if it's not taking trademark that I got so many dreams then I'm not even using just yet you said feminine CEO feminine CEO yes and so I trained women especially women that are like myself we're successful we have business multiple businesses um we are running things however we are women in business not business women that's a difference that's a big difference and so I teach them to be successful to be able to walk in a room and you don't have to make an announcement that you are that girl it was a question that we just got away from I'm trying to remember had asked you to go to break down the difference between something and I can't rack my brain I'm racking my brain about it you sure did and then we went to this ball stuff it's gonna come to me hopefully later remember what it was not yet it was something it was the difference between I said break that down from the before the CEO is about the type of women the uh uh ah it's coming it's going to come to me gosh I remember because that was good um so when we start talking about the um gosh my brain is stuck over there I want to say it and I can't remember okay I'm gonna think I'm gonna think yeah I'm gonna think too well I'm gonna spin it somewhere else and then we'll come back to it because it's Gonna Come well yes it said it was supposed to I looked at the weather before I got here and it said it's supposed to get a little ugly I don't need to get nothing um so so when you talk about let's go back to when you were married what was some what was what did you learn coming out of your marriage what what did you learn about you what I learned about me is that I needed to have boundaries self-esteem I never really spoke up for myself I because of what I got my past called I was silenced a lot as a as a child and so I didn't I didn't speak up a lot I walked on eggshells in my marriage so one of the things that's very important to me being with the man is to feel seen and heard and not shut down all the time and loyalty is up there Like Oxygen like that we talked about that earlier loyalty is I promise wait I want to break that down about loyalty how did that come you had an aha moment about how the importance of loyalty and how that come about so when I was married um we were on the rocks and we were trying to figure out what we were going to do and so at that time my background is in commercial credit I wrote an ebook of all about business credit back in 2006. my first ebook was in 2003 I was doing the e-booking it before was ebook for real I'm like how's she learning to do that I'm a researcher at heart and so um we were on the rocks and in my office where my office was there was a girl next door who did personal credit I dealt with business credit so because we were on the rocks and she asked him how does your wife do what she do because he needed something from her to get his personal credit right he told the secrets of my business I didn't find that out until we got back together but in that moment I completely lost respect fast forward I wasn't a long-term relationship y'all just didn't know it on the internet y'all didn't even know when I was married on the internet because I'll be sharing child I'd be making y'all think what I want you to think I did I have my boy afion Crockett on the show and he was like ain't none of business he was talking about he said I could be in a relationship right now I could be married right now I could have been married well you know my thing with that is this don't pay attention to my relationship look how long my receipts are with everybody else because when you go to the doctor you look at you don't look at their health you look at how many people they've helped you don't look at the Chef's Kitchen at his house to see if he could cook for you like I said earlier you don't look at that the god the man got in college let me check your vagina first sir before you tell me what this is I'm dealing with for my my yearly Pap sir can I see your you don't do that so I believe that when we those of us and then you know what nobody ever asked TD Jakes how the heck he know how to help us get loose he showing them how to get loose and he was on point nobody ever asked him how he learned how to get loose yeah yeah so I believe God gives wisdom oh God do who he chooses Bishop how'd you learn to get loose yeah I need I need to know how did you because you be on point Bishop Bishop be going hard boy but but what I learned that is true though yeah Woman Thou Art loose yes and thousands for years nobody questioned that they just want to get loose you don't care how just I need to get loose facts but in my marriage it was um it was the Loyalty thing so I was in a long-term relationship and um he was disloyal because he let an enemy come sit down with him and break bread of mine he said well she just wanted to tell me what happened I don't give two rats behinds nobody can come have a conversation with my man about my man to me especially me knowing that so that's when I start realizing okay April this is a core need of yours you know you said that happened in your in your relationship and then it had it well it started off in my marriage and then it resurfaced in the relationship and that's what brought back the importance of a core belief is or a core need for you is loyalty yeah loyalty is because I I am like I'm the friend that you didn't do it you're gonna hide the body I'll be like no he didn't know and you can get in the car and I'll be like why did you got why you got us in this photos why would you but in front of everybody nah bro but what I have no idea what you're talking about and I noticed my oldest grandchild she's like that she she will ride for her mama no matter what I'm like Leah I saw your mama doing the granny I don't know she's been that way about her mama her mama could have just bust a window no I didn't see nothing you just went to the whole mall and bust your mama just buzz out every last window I'm I'm sorry Grammy but I didn't see no you were standing with her my eyes someone was in my eyes and she's been doing it let's get stitches that's what she said she's not on now she didn't tell on you just not her mama oh but yeah that's how I learned what my you know my core need was when it comes to you know loyalty and another thing that I learned in my marriage was well I didn't learn this in my marriage I actually learned this um from the ladies in my life growing up so one of the things my ex-husband and I went to counseling about he didn't understand how we could have a disagreement and I he would still have to sleep with his wife and feed me he was supposed to have to sleep with his wife that's your job yeah my job right who gonna get mad about what God's gonna get mad about having to sleep with you well here's the thing when you mad man y'all know when y'all mad with us y'all be mad mad and when he we would have disagreements see I I evaluate things like this it's the level of the disagreement if it's not anything that's detrimental to us you didn't put your hands on me we're not dealing with no other you know outside people it's a disagreement yeah so I'm not leaving so honey I would go down to the basement um I'm hungry you hungry yeah or what you gonna cook nothing we need to go to dinner what you mean we need I need you to take me to dinner I need to take me to dinner and it'd be so mad you just so you you a brat yeah I told you that when we met I'm I'm very bratty and but honey I'm I'm hungry and then afterwards I'm like I would tell him because I would stand right at the door in the garage in the basement he would go down to the place so he went to the basement we got mad he would go to the basement when he got mad and I would stand right there honey I'm hungry and then I said you need to have sex with your wife too it's like what I'm like you can come back down here give me something so he would take me to eat and he'd be mad the whole time I said so you're gonna be mad mad are you mad are you mad Matt what like what level of mad are you he's like see you play too much I said I'm not playing I'm dead serious like we're this is this is a disagreement we mad about something that we disagreed on but I'm still your wife facts period I'm not going anywhere you know until we decide we both decide that so you have to feed me you have to have sex with your wife and you've been far more than welcome to go back to the basement he wouldn't stay in the basement of course let me remember while we was mad but that's one of the things that I learned about me earlier that's what she said marriage counselor really I said he should teach that oh yeah they should teach that to say that in the day like how long do you want to be mad like I want them type of people that I don't like being upset you know what I'm saying yeah it's fine it's like I try to get back to happy my whole thing is how can I get back to happy if it's a disagreement it's just a disagreement let's laugh and let's get back yeah serious to me and he he couldn't understand he said it in counseling he said I don't understand how she does that and the counselors looked at me like for an answer I said because he's still my husband so I don't understand why I wouldn't do that like like I don't understand it it just didn't make you know sense to me and I was also the woman that I'm pretty agreeable now let me clear that up for y'all real quick when you vet a person you're not going to be looking for somebody that you're gonna argue with all the time hopefully not hopefully not you're looking for someone whose lifestyle who standards and values and even some way away how they process information is to take a little bit like yours so I was not very I wasn't disagree I'm not a disagreeable woman because I'm choosing the men that I'm choosing to engage with yes I'm not going to choose somebody that we just gonna We gonna argue all the time and I know that your personality and mind don't mesh but because you fine I'm gonna I'm like no I don't do that that's why I say women don't vet properly I vet to the point it's like okay let me see if our lifestyle's align let me see how he process this let me see what he thinks about it let me see his circle of friends and how they view marriage like I have all I just taught a class Saturday called how to vet the art of vetting a man and I broke 20 things down that most women overlook give me about three of them well one of them is what I just said they don't bet their friends they don't look at they don't ask about previous relationships not in a way of so why y'all break up no it they don't act they act from trying to see if he was at fault I'm saying ask so what did you learn from your previous ablation how would you have changed that what could you have done better if he says it was all on her I'm out of there yep boxed my food up because because I'm gone and then another one would be to see a lot of women want these men that are traditional men you have to ask and inquire while y'all talking about I want a man that's going to take care of everything and you mad because of you keep mean 50 50 men because you are not vetting the type of man betting the man to see if that's what he is that's why I said earlier I've never had a problem with been wanting to take care of because I bet men to see if they have Traditional Values like I do and when they don't okay it was wonderful I got somebody I want you to meet because she's not traditional either she believes in pulling her weight so y'all y'all work well well together you know so I believe in vetting I just I believe in knowing who you are and knowing what you want and then from there you can get your core needs we talked about that early the 80 20 rule yeah and I don't believe in that the way everybody else does explain to the people what the 80 20 rule is it's typically if you get 80 of what you want why don't leave for the 20 percent and I have a little different point of view what is the April Mason theology the April Mason theology is if you give me 80 of what I want but not the 20 of what I need it's still not going to work because my core needs your core needs is in that 20 because if the statement has been if you have 80 of what you want want and need are different so if your presence like there's nothing sexier than a man's presence that heals nothing that he's doing nothing that he's saying but his mere presence heals that little part of you that needs to heal it's something about that well I'm very aware that that man is going to annoy me at some point I'm not looking at that the fact that your presence heals as oh my God you're just so dreamy no I'm gonna get on your nerves at some point you're going to get on mine but what happens is because my the core needs that I have to make me feel safe seen and hurt you have that it'll make me have to why could you put the toilet seat down yeah why you gotta chew like that it'll make me be allow me to be able to deal with it he can do all of these things but at the end of the day what I need from him he got it he just happened to be a little bit messy you know you know that's good because people are looking for Perfection a lot instead of looking for progress and those core values of what that person truly needs from that individual you said if it's mere presence heals you how you gonna get upset about he throwing his clothes on the floor you know what I'm saying that's so bad it's so petty yeah it's annoying yeah but it's like babe so this this is what we're doing like you put your clothes on the floor just is this where you would like them to stay what do you think about that statement you said his mere presence heals you what about the fact that what do you think about the ideology that we should all be quote unquote hill before we meet our purpose I don't believe that and I don't believe that because if you needed to be healed before someone's sent to you that means there's no room for God to work if you're not used to a good man in your life you won't know it until he shows up and see this is what I tell folks all the time I said yes my content and information of course they're fantastic but guess what it's not until you meet somebody that you have to test out what Miss April taught you and you have to determine is it a red flag or if it's fear I said so all of this I'm waiting and I don't want to get into anything until blah blah okay the moment you venture out and you get involved with someone everything that you've been training yourself on and learning you gotta see if it's actually set in I said the weather is my content or anybody else's don't just sit there and hold it you have to test it I'm not saying you don't have to you have to test it with everybody but you have to test it I said anyway as a woman if you have your femininity your spirituality and your sensuality all in place that is your GPS because your family your spirituality will give you that discernment and when I say spirituality I'm not talking about church people think they're spiritual because they go to church but I said it earlier and y'all gonna get mad at me but I've been doing this a long time the easiest woman to get played are the church women those are the ones when I was coaching that would just have these horrible stories and I'm like girl why you you over there at the Jesus house aren't you not did you say at the Jesus house yes aren't you not practicing what you're being taught like what what is it like how how is are you having these horrible situations but yet your practice your Bible says something different like about who you are you you know you say my father would your father want you treat it like this would your father even allow this man to even be in his presence like to say nah says you ain't dating my daughter right why don't you value yourself like your father does um right and so I would deal with so much heartbreak you know from women in church all the time it was it was mind-boggling to me because they thought that because they went to church that they were spiritual well I'm gonna wait for God to send me a man I'm like you have no discernment sis you you don't because look at your pattern you've been waiting and a man came along I said but because you're not accustomed to having good men around you on a consistent basis first time one comments like oh girl let me lock him in but when you're accustomed to a thing it's it's a part of your your regular lifestyle so I saw it all the time so you and I discussed this before um for the people in the back uh you've been single intentionally until this season yes what is this season for you I'm excited about love and I've never said that publicly um I've been a great dater like the reason why my dating Academy was so successful because I was in the vein of that yeah you know that's where I was at well what happened was I wasn't interested in getting married not because I couldn't but I realized now there was an assignment I had to complete right and so they were like what's the assignment so here's the deal I my grandmother May told us that she sold all of the property and land that my grandfather left now my Jew what I'm what I'm sharing I didn't know this stuff and why I was moving toward this way all of this time so I was sent to visit family in another state in the Midwest and I was like oh it's so Dreadful here oh child it's depressing what right when I left I had to go do Super Bowl it was like five days I was going but in that time another voice said you got to go back okay what do I have to go back to this depressing place for I go back at the end of February but mind you in November I was feeling I know when God is leading me to do something I felt like it was time to leave Atlanta I just didn't know why it wasn't there for me anymore it was like 20 years okay well I go back to this this city this to the Midwest but a different set of eyes that time during that time and I end up purchasing a home not intentionally and I'm like why am I doing this like why it just felt right I saw multiple homes but I was looking for a home for my brother and because I told him you're a general contractor if I we buy some fixer-uppers you can do all of this stuff with it because the homes were very inexpensive but I got a text message from the realtor and said April this is the one and I'm like I gotta go to the airport but I want to go look at it anyway and it was a lot of people there looking at the house and I walked in and it just felt right and I'm like okay it feels some sort of way what what is this that I'm feeling when I was leaving it was a ton of people there and I text the realtor back and I said this is the one and he said well you know it's going to be a bitten word for this house and I said yeah I said make it a cash offer he said are you sure I said yes I don't know why I was doing this but I was like yeah and then from there he says I'll do it if you're sure I'm like I just told you I ain't making this up like okay well the the seller came back and said well if she comes up to the asking price then we might consider it I said I don't like that language if I'm paying you cash yeah for this house it has to be absolute yep so I purchased the house the next day they accepted it which was that Saturday so the offer went on Friday the next day Saturday they accepted it immediately after that I Heard a Voice say now you can get married I didn't know what that meant I'm like huh because I wasn't really pressed because I had a fun day in life I'm like whoa I can get married and I sat in that and two days later the answer came my grandmother like I said she said before she died she made the mistake of selling all of the property and land my grandfather left for us so our family didn't own anything and I could not being a married woman take almost two hundred thousand dollars out of my married household to go um establish my legacy for my grandkids and my kids it would have been two visions in the house right I am the last Mason granddaughter with that last name yeah I couldn't have done that as April anybody else so I'm like this is crazy so I'm sitting there on my bed and I'm like okay okay am I sure and you know sometimes you still question yeah yeah well when I went to the house uh I got the keys went up to closing I met my neighbor she came over she brought me a banana nut cake everybody knows that's my favorite outside of pound cake and she gave me her name she had to be probably in her late 60s early 70s and she said well here's a cake welcome to the neighborhood and here's my phone number she wrote her phone number and her her name and her husband's name on there her husband's name is Bill Wells Bill Wells is my grandmother's father's name it was like the ancestors were saying you did right this is what you were you did what you were supposed to do because I was like why am I making these moves in this little Hallmark Town ain't nothing out here I got it took me an hour to get to the airport like what is this but it was like the confirmation came when I looked at that paper and saw my grandfather my great-grandfather's name on that paper I'm like what you said I had to go reclaim yeah what we lost and so I could not have done that as a married woman now I've never been so excited about settling now like I've never as much as I do and for other women helping them I've never been excited about me because I wasn't it was something always keeping me from locking in didn't mean I didn't mean I met wonderful men but now I realize I had to complete that assignment if that makes sense when you think about um so let me ask you this so you want to get married again I do I think I'd make a bomb wife why do you want to get married you know what I understand the importance of marriage I understand amplifying together I understand like I believe our race is the only race that does not understand the benefits of marriage we're the only ones only ones that don't get it so I I've always understood that I was the woman that said I know what to do so I'm gonna put this information on the Shelf until I'm ready for it until I'm released to use it but I'm gonna share this information with other women which is why we have thousands of women getting engaged and married in a year because the information worked I just wasn't released to use it and no matter how great A man was that came my way it was I just I couldn't lock in like I just couldn't and now I totally get it but marriage to me is so sacred to me it's something that we have to leave what I call a love Legacy we leave money we leave recipes we leave trauma but do we leave a blueprint for love we're not taught to do that that's good let that sell right there I love Legacy yes the reason why that's so important the reason why that's hidden is because um when I look over my own family there was no model of Love there was no reference for love there was it's just it was just nothing it was not like oh I want to love a woman the way my daddy loves my mom and I love how it didn't exist I had to reimagine I had to ReDiscover um I had to tap into God who is love to extract his principles and read First Corinthians 13 and be like love is patient love is kind love you know love keeps no record of wrong you know that type stuff to be like wow this is this is love this is deep and then unpack uh the seven types of love you know and like okay this is love okay I was focusing so much on Heroes there and and and filet of love which is friendship love but there's agape love there's there's just all these different types of love and it's like okay now I really want to understand what it means when you truly say I love you exactly I didn't have a I didn't have the blueprint that I could have had like my mother she wasn't a strong independent woman my mother was on the other end of the spectrum she was more of the passive but she was always feminine though she always had been she just didn't utilize part of what comes with femininity which is boundaries and self-love so femininity is just is so much more than how you dress if somebody has nothing to do with anything that you can actually put on you femininity can't be bought at the beauty supply store it's none of that it's not if a woman use a curse word oh she's not feminine it's none of that it's not etiquette it's not decorum you know it's not uh class at all um femininity is like mother nature mother we see we hear what Mother Nature doing right now yeah it's raining it's the thundering and all that stuff but even with all of that thundering and lightning that it's doing and causing catastrophe and destruction Mother Nature is still soft and gentle and will still provide for you will still nurture you we'll still you know be that safe space for you however Mother Nature is also destructive mother's nature will also cause all kind of recall to have it femininity is dark think about when your most vulnerable moments are they're at night in the dark that's what femininity is about vulnerability and we get that at night I don't remember what religion it what it is but their symbol of the uh femininity is a Jaguar because of how it moves in the night and so we think of femininity as oh soft as Pink as dresses and all no femininity has boundaries you know you can't just cross over these boundaries femininity is not weak femininity feels we live in an unbothered culture right now you know femininity it and being in your emotions as a woman is the gatekeeper gate key to a man's heart yeah we have the emotions as a spirituality and we lead you all to that but how can we lead you to that if we're not it so women have completely shut down that part of themselves to to where it's now well I'm a good wife because I have all of these things but the very thing that in my opinion you guys crave is that feminine part facts that we have suppressed so now you're trying to give him this paperwork this is what you look good on paper but if you're not in tune with your own emotions feelings vulnerability your vulnerability and being able to just like I said earlier I just break out and start crying for no reason and how can you give that to a man when that's the thing he craves he's not craving your paycheck he's not craving um your intellectual degree degrees those are added bonuses those are needed but that's not what makes you a feminine woman when the last time have you felt sis when the last time have you said I really don't feel good when somebody asks you how you doing you just didn't say I'm fine you actually went within and said hold on let me let me actually feel how am I feeling before I answer this question why do you walk so fast in the store what you want to hurry for when was the last time you did self-care and I'm not talking about self-maintenance self-maintenance is the outward self-care is the n-word when the last time so how can you give yourself to a man even Esther went to prepare herself to be before the king she wasn't doing it strictly trying to I mean she wasn't doing it trying to get no degrees when was the last time you actually went through let me prepare like Esther did for my king we're not taught that that's good hey bro I can talk to you all day you likewise love because my mind be going I'd be like wow I saw you over there thinking yeah because I've been thinking about just the process the process before the promise the yes to create that space because a lot of women right now I can just hear them in the spirit typing men don't provide that space for a woman to become feminine and you respond to that your femininity isn't for a man it's for you and that's what I want you to say and that's why I teach femininity separate from the man so the women that were in my dating Academy we combined it but overall my message about femininity is it has nothing to do with my grandbaby has femininity yeah but she don't have no man yeah she better not but so femininity is for you first it puts you in a position to get whatever you want from from the abundance in your life I always say Feminine women are never broke and the reason why is because if you can create a baby in your womb you can create money on demand part of femininity is creativity but a lot of times we're so far on the left brain with the focus and um doing versus the right brain it which is being that's why the book is identity switch becoming the woman who gets what she wants and not trying to use strategy and that's what I see a lot now um with content creators teaching strategy on how to get what you want and I'm saying when you become that feminine woman you naturally draw whatever you want to you so sis if you broke you're not in your femininity and you gotta get to that but I will say this I'm just hitting I'm like I will say this then this is for the fellas let me say this to you because I I go hard on the ladies because I understand the power we have but I gotta say this to the fellas if you have never experienced a feminine woman you will mishandle her because you she's a new energy for you so a lot of people men are saying I want a feminine woman who's X Y and Z well if you haven't prepared yourself to receive her because she's not gonna have that drama like that she ain't gonna be going back she gonna walk away from your tail the moment you start the others because we have to we have to protect our femininity yeah and so if you're used to drama and you're used to um women being that strong independent pushing back all the time you and your in your toolbox you don't think she don't care because she's not being combative yes and you don't have anything to pull from to be able to receive her so I will say that to the fellas make sure you're prepared for what you're asking for because a feminine woman and she oh she's submissive one of the things that I hate is this submissive conversation because because see femininity naturally acquiesce to masculinity there it is you know if I ever hear a man talking about women are not submissive I already know you are not that masculine safe place for her you are not that Alpha dude that you think you are because our bodies just naturally when we enter the room just naturally does that I was in Olive Garden and there was this my waiter he was this big guy and his energy said oh man and I normally sit with my back so I could see the door and he walked by me and I said excuse me I said I can tell that if something goes down in here today you're gonna make sure we all are taken care of he said I got you little lady in that space it's stranger I didn't know had that energy I was able to eat my food and peace and not feel like I got to watch everything what made you say that I felt him I felt him it's it's it's a fee people don't understand it's a feeling it's that you feel like I tell people don't take what I say feel me you will feel the energy when I come in the room so what made you say that to him was it something that you felt like you was in an area that you should be armed or something no it's as women we we are have to protect ourselves and we have we are targeted just because we have a vagina we're always in protecting mode protection mode so for me to be sitting there just being a woman that man his energy said I got you allowed me to sit back and enjoy all you can eat energy of a man that allows us because to rest because we're targeted every time we leave that y'all are not targeted like that yeah you know true enough you're men in this world but nobody's kidnapping you because of your sexual parts nobody is out here telling you you are less than because you are a weaker vessel nobody's doing that to you so we can be on guard quite a bit but this is where you have to as a woman say I am safe in my body I am safe in my environments and you have to repeat that to yourself and sit still in that I am safe is what you have to do so you got tons of courses that that talk about this um let's talk about what are you offering right now I said do not come on the dear future wife podcast and not have a product available like well we're still transitioning the side to this or we're migrating from my old platform to this I said he wouldn't let me do that yeah I don't care about all the nothing that I said because because this is really this is close to home for me yeah so like I said this podcast is my personal journey and I understand the power of a woman operating in her femininity is such strength yeah a lot of times women you have women that feel like the masculine energy is what protects them but the mask the feminine energy can disarm the person that you trying to feel protected from absolutely very well said absolutely and we just have to learn I think if we've learned how to trust ourselves that femininity that spirituality and that sensuality if a woman gets so refined in those three areas she's a force to be reckoned with boy because you have it all oh so I said have some take one of your courses do something put what course are we offering today today um because of your platform I think one what the one that would be most valuable is called black woman reset how to reclaim your femininity what would people learn from that the main thing women will learn is first of all why their femininity has been blocked and why they haven't been using utilizing it also how to take down from the strong independent black woman role as well as I get it ladies I get it but Miss April I had to be in the row see here's the thing you can wear a hat multiple ways you never hear a man raising children saved too often a mom and dad too often never I always say I got three kids not nobody ever said Happy Mother's Day to me yeah you know what I'm saying and if you did you know I'll encourse but you might get cursed out I am not a mother right but then Father's Day as it comes around people gonna be like you know people gonna be posting talking about you know I need to be say Happy Father's Day I'm a I'm the father and the mother it's like no you're just the mother you're never going to be the father I'm never going to be the mother I don't deserve Mother's Day as a single father and you I don't know if you notice but a man never becomes over feminine because the mother isn't around the same way a woman becomes overly masculine because we've had to protect and provide for ourselves and I get it however there's multiple ways to wear a hat you can still be that and I'm gonna I'm in the course I talk about how I learned how to do that with my own son and how I had to learn to stop yelling and I watched my son's masculinity rise up and be more protectors when I sat back and then and became that that feminine woman oh that's dope you saw that transition I saw it I was able to see it and I learned how to put myself first and I talk about that in the course as well because I hear a lot of women say my kids come first actually your kids don't you come first um and I learned that as an empty nester now my kids are 29 27 and 25. the worst thing I did was put them first and neglect myself because when those kids start growing up it's like a light switch they don't need you no more you're the ATM the chauffeur yep and so I was always my kids my kids my kids but in the course I talk about how we use our kids as our Shield you know we use our kids as the shield because we don't want to be heard again and then how can you be like Ruth or be like Esther and you don't get out of the house I'm waiting on God to send me a map well they went these scriptures is y'all y'all are using child why don't you get out of the house why don't you go with men are so it's this course it's a three hour it's three hours long and you probably gonna start crying because you're gonna have these aha moments but I did this one um especially at the height of the riots that we were having with George Floyd yeah I did it at the height of that because I saw so many of our sisters on the front line fighting and I'm like sis you can be a part of the movement but not at the expense of your peace you gotta understand how um your nervous system is is affected your well-being is so affected when you are in that masculine energy doing doing doing you can still be a part but maybe not on the front line this time we can be making sandwiches and bandaging our y'all up while y'all go out there you know and do what you do and we cut we step in if you guys get subdued but we're not always having to lead the pack we don't always have to be Warriors but we can still be effective so I teach that and I know ladies it's something that many of you may not want to hear because we're so programmed and and you know what to be honest with you your why of how you had to do why you had to do it doesn't even matter where do you want to go that's what a coach does we don't we don't go into the past that's what the therapist does yeah it's who do you want to be now and so you have to make a feminine identity switch is what I call it and you have to see yourself and stop living on the old version of you because the old version of you got you to where you are if you don't like your life it's because of who you've been being if you want something different you got to become something different imma drop a link in the description on this YouTube video man let me tell you something cause I love it when you tell me about the people the testimonials that come out I love like one of my favorite parts of church back in the day was testimony service okay so I always love when you like even uh while we come to the studio he was like yeah one of my one of my uh students that was in my course they just got married they just this they just told me this it's like I love I love when it works what happened at the airport this morning when I was flying here that lady that came up here I saw her see me but I just kept you going and then about maybe 30 minutes later I'm right when I'm about to board the plane she said Miss April is that you I said yes love it is and she said I just got to tell you you're amazing thank you so much she said that's my husband he said I told him that was you he told me to come over here you know and talk to you she said because of you and your course and your books that I read I got my husband I married him a year ago and when people ask me what I do I told you I'm gonna start telling them I'm in the business of helping women women get attract good husbands because that seems to be what it is even though that's not what I teach right teach become the feminine woman but it just so happens that the byproduct yes um so when they asked me what do you I help women get good husbands that's that's what I do but it's not in the way that you think so we also have our all things feminine social club they're not even allowed to talk about men in there at all negative or talk about it no period no relationship no man talk I teach femininity from a holistic standpoint it's about you no man talk at all in my in our organization about your relation because what I find is women they want to become feminine to get the man not for themselves so I don't even allow them to talk about it we have about um on our Facebook we have about 9 000 members and we have our private paid membership that women go they can't talk about men at all no man no man talk we had a funny conversation you get a lot of DMS asking about me listen listen Linda listen folks stay in my DMs asking are you single single are you really looking is he really doing this or is he doing it because you know he can monetize this what kind of woman does he like mistake I said why don't y'all DM him and ass you know as I know we don't really tell what we're looking for when people say what are you looking for I say somebody amazing somebody amazing that could yeah it could be whatever whatever that thing is but yeah they always ask what is it that you want and are you really serious one thousand percent serious um people saw this episode that really showed how serious I was um that I dropped January the 4th I was like you know how you said you was dating somebody nobody knew uh I was dating This Woman This Woman we was going through pre-premetal counseling I want to go through counseling before I propose because I already had planned on proposing March the 18th and so this is this is a person that was really really serious about um and she just said she need to go back to therapy and she just didn't feel qualified to be a wife and it was like I couldn't do nothing but respect that you know and I was like you're more than qualified but in her mind she said just allow me to work through whatever process and she want to walk away from everything um but yeah I'm I'm extremely serious when I did this podcast it was for that it was about me going through my my own personal healing in front of the world and I know that that would be the the main thing that that's always asked and questioned people like well are you so married to dear future wifey that you want to stay single so that this can keep living on I don't care about this I do not care about this okay you know I don't care about to the degree um that I would allow this to prevent me from getting married matter of fact I feel the opposite I feel the longer this uh takes place the more the more it looks like a failure you know what I'm saying if I if it's 10 years from now I'm 45 and I'm 55 welcome to the dear future wife podcast like boy get somewhere sit down boy you've been sitting up here doing this thing for 13 years looking for a wife it can't be that hard yes so I always look at it as the longer it becomes the more it appears that I am unsuccessful in the very thing that I desire right now another question well since people Oh Lord You're Gonna flip the questions on me so so do you find it that it could be challenging because of who you are do let me rephrase that I know do you think people get caught up of the Imaging of you versus who you are they get caught up in that the idea of you ideal yeah I think that that would be a challenge um but then I also find that it can also be intimidating because people assume and they if they would assume this they'll be correct is that the woman that I desire has to share this space with me yes I don't want to be this person that because I'm I'm still going to have a plan I'm still gonna have this platform where we're still having these conversations and talks I want my woman to be able to sit alongside of me and we do this together uh this is purpose work so yeah so when a woman hears that they go oh well I'm more shy I'm more behind the scenes I'm the person that I may be able to work behind the cameras or whatever so I got Rihanna for that I don't need y'all for that you know what I'm saying it's like no I want the I want I want the woman operating with me and they're like but what if what if that's not my strong so what if it's nothing it's just nothing what look what's out of place will be replaced say that one more time what's out of place will be replaced boy let me tell you something right there preaching we need down a t-shirt what's out of place will be replaced now another question Oh Lord okay I just want to ask this and I'm asking these questions because you people ask you that about me that about you and then people in our space people don't realize sometimes that we are humans yeah and sometimes when we get comfortable and show our Human Side people can be disappointed because they think you're supposed to be on all the time yeah so are are you prepared for that because I work with a lot of men now I don't coach women one-on-one anymore but I do work with a lot of men and a lot of them are celebrity guys and I realize why they don't have they can't seem to keep a relationship it's because people get caught up in the idea of them and when they show their real selves you're not that sexy guy that we see on TV you're really a nerd and you're really an introvert yeah but they get afraid to show that so they keep this Imaging up because in their minds it's like well this is what I do and this is a part of me yeah but it's not the biggest part of me so your question is what do you find that do you think that someone would be disappointed because they're only after the man in front of the camera to see your quirky sides your Moody sides and because people could say well you really ain't that no I'm her I'm just her too um because the podcast is so authentic for me like it was an episode I did with danaya a couple of weeks ago and I'm cracking up I'm laughing I'm doing this people that don't know me they was like he's just laughing too much he's immature to be doing an episode like that and why why is he doing that but then she was like did you laugh I was crap I love to laugh you do I mean hanging out with you you do we so just think about it so so the reality is that's who I am I'm that person on camera I'm that person off camera I am consistent and so what happened is is even with her she was saying had you been so serious that interview in the last three hours it would have lasted 15 15 minutes because we're talking about such heavy subject matter that I would have just fell apart yeah the reason why I want to interview with you outside of everybody else you reached out to me is because I've watched you I've watched you interview my personal friends and I know them I trust them and I knew that you provided a safe space for them what I need is somebody that understood me and could see me and she said for the first time in my life I felt seen see and I you know what I always tell men that I was um at an event and it was a recently married couple and the man asked me what advice would you give me and my wife we just got married it was like maybe a week and I told him I said make sure she's protected provided for seen and heard and I told her study him like your life depends on it get so far down in his DNA to where you know him better than he knows himself there it is she broke down crying why are you crying and she didn't even know but I said if any advice I can give any married couple or especially the newlyweds study that man to the point you know him better than Neil himself one of my favorite songs of people who watch my podcast hear me say this often is Fantasia's teach me I don't know if I heard she says teach me how to love you show me I'm willing to learn following every instruction I'll be a scholar when we are done teach me what you need because I'm willing to learn that's powerful the song is called tease me I'm happy to listen oh when I say that song I I when I say I listen to it and it's not even one of her most popular songs but it's her most impactful song well you know what you know what it takes in order to do that what does it take selflessness there it is you can't go and looking at what you can get and looking at let me see look it's kind of like entertain me let me see what you let me see what you're providing let me see what you're offering if you are really trying to get to know someone you have to pay attention to what's said and what's not said we also as women have to get back to charm there it is knowing how to use feminine language with men some say we talked about it earliest manipulation but it's not it's like I know that a cat does not eat dog food I'm not going to give that cat that and then be mad because I want it to be the way I wanted why won't he eat it well that's not what it is and to me when I start really learning and understanding how men work and with all due respect I learned men are so routine and simple now of course everybody has their own little complexities and whatnot but overall it's it's not very there's some core things that all men yeah across the board and women I don't think today in 2023 they understand the power of feminine language and how um to talk and say you know stop stop and you didn't take out the garbage and stop saying that and say honey can you take out the garbage tonight before you go to bed instead of I'm mad he didn't take out the garbage I asked him to wait every time I ask you to take it out of the garbage you never take it out yeah he'd be like I think I'm your child or something like this yes that's a different response like who you talking to he's gonna automatically respond who you think you talking to right and it's the art of feminine language it's it's knowing how to leave open-ended questions it's knowing how to to listen to what he's saying and only address that in that moment versus all of that we're gonna get to the other stuff but not in this particular moment and I believe as women we have lost the art of feminine language charm and witty Banner because you say I got game it's not games yeah see a game she got some player in there it's not really not games it would be like listen I would have brought you something had I know you're gonna be on this plane he's like and then I asked her I said so then what happens if by the end of y'all's uh trip he would have said you know the plane landed he was like so can I keep in touch with you can I get your phone number then what you say if I would have been interested yeah but if not it would have been like enjoy just enjoyed your vacation Hey listen I really enjoyed talking to you on the plane you have such an amazing personality I would love to keep in contact with you if that's okay uh can we exchange numbers well let me ask you this first is he's making it romantic or platonic right now I'm just saying it the way I'm saying it you guys and I enjoyed him yeah we was tripping out talking and in that scenario I probably would exchange numbers because remember we're not saying if it's romantic or not we just had great conversation so me giving you my number is you know what it's networking um I I was talking to the gentleman sitting next to me he owned a lot of franchises and we want to open up a franchise no but I'm a business I'm a Serial entrepreneur sponsorship maybe but you know he got up we had a really great conversation his name was Doug shout out to Doug his name was Doug we had a really great conversation told me about his daughters and I asked him I said why did you become you know a franchisee what what started that and he gave me his story because he started the conversation with me by asking while I'm biting my sandwich you know did you bring me one yeah so I just engaged him in conversation and I believe sometimes we have to know that some things are just conversation everybody you meet won't be the one if somebody wants you they will come and get you so in that situation you would exchanged it because you saw value that can extend past the the trip yeah yeah cause like well if you you know if if ever in where are you from yeah you know he did say that but it was not a in a romantic kind of way it was more so we I met a genuine individual and had a conversation and I believe when people have been out of good dating situations for a long time everybody they meet they'll think oh hey is this God Lord he ordered he ordered a venti and I ordered a venti child uh you know it's the one that's my husband I don't believe that I believe that I meet wonderful people all the time and you know you never know who's going to be the one to connect yeah and you well you know the caramel macchiato yeah you know yeah double double pumper syrup I had a double pump oh my God you are the same way that's my husband right and so I'm not that type of woman and unless a man says I really want to get you to know you on a on a more personal level if he doesn't say it you are friends don't assume it if he doesn't say don't assume it that's good and I don't say it don't assume it but Miss April he did this I said that means not like I don't care if you walk in here and have me a bag of money as my friend you're just gonna be like thank you you did this for me yeah I wanted you to have this you know I know you were doing X Y and Z and you know I wanted I wanted to get to your foundation you know I don't think that that is when he does that do you feel that it's a even though you don't you put in this little category will that be a mental deposit into love meaning that if he came back around two weeks later and was like listen I really believe in you and I did this because of this this now you go don't get it twisted you gonna get tingly when a man walking here with a bag full of money honey let's not get it twisted that is gonna happen but what it says to me is he's a generous man and a man being generous is huge for me that's on my list as well not generous necessarily but just with his money his time his and his effort yeah that's huge for me so if he came back around you already checked off one of my things but the generosity and said you know said what you said you know I would really take you out now let me vet him a little bit more because a core need of mine is a generous man it's but more so with his time because my primary love language is quality so generosity in that area is huge so you may have shown it to me in a monetary way but let me see if on this other side because if you can only do it money-wise you still don't qualify facts that's real that's real I love it April no more questions don't ask no more questions so do you want to have any more kids yeah I have I had my daughter was born in high school okay uh two weeks before I graduated high school and then um I didn't have any kids with my wife we were married for almost 10 years and then after uh we divorced the following year I ended up adopting my nephew and then a few years later I adopting my son Armani um I've never had a child in a traditional uh way which is we had a kid with my wife and we you know bring that child up together so I so I say that that's something that I desire if God had a plan for me to marry somebody that um couldn't have kids or past the age to have kids then so don't won't God give you the desires of your heart yeah yeah but then but then it's twofold it's a it's a it's it's interesting when you say that because he'll give you the he'll Grant you desires of your heart but then he has placed inside of us that desire for a reason so he's granted us that desire absolutely so that's just a that's just a preference it's not like it's not like if I don't do that then I'll be like well she okay can't be the one because of this well it's a desire now you got my mind going love y'all know we try to connect me because you always you know I have Arsenal full of women that have gone through femininity I rebuke you and I got a whole bunch of wifeys access to a bunch of wife is have you ever thought about having a a matchmaking service I am a former Matchmaker you are yeah I used to do I started my matchmaking service back in 2012 but I quit because women were too picky I only worked personally right now with men Because by the time a man get gets to me and want to work this relationship part out he's ready women it was so hard and I'm like girl listen listen Linda listen Linda this this list of 72 things like I only have five things on my list five you said they would have they had like a list of 72 things front and back and I started noticing that the things on that list was trauma based it was like because I went through this I don't want this because I went through this I don't want that it was that so I did I was a Matchmaker for a while um started in Atlanta 20 12 20 no 2011 or 2012. what are you doing were you doing femininity coaching at the same time no I wasn't doing it I was inadvertently doing it so before you you were focused on relationship and then you start saying let me reverse engineer it I'm hearing some stuff that these women saying that's making them literally incompatible for the very thing that they desire so then you reverse engineer it and then you say let's start up the route with this right which is why I wrote the book identity switch becoming the woman who gets what you want because I noticed in no matter if I was teaching them business how to be feminine CEOs whether I was teaching them how to date it didn't get to some of them because I'm like this is the problem no matter what I say to you you don't realize you have to make a switch so let me walk you through the steps of what identity switching looks like it's nothing more than um renewing of the mind yeah but we can say those things but people don't have practical steps to take so the whole there's a whole chapter just on feminine identity and what that actually means so yeah I had to I focused there because once you get a person to understand they have to make that identity switch they can get whatever they want at that point well listen y'all need to go get that book and uh don't ask me no more questions I'm not I'm not I got something leave me alone April I'm just saying that you know you know I have a track record people engaged and married in a year you that is that is the track record I'm just saying you know if you you know all you got to do is text and say listen what you got in your database honey and you know and they've been trained you know because you say we're doing this because it's in your you know you want to do 50 more feminine woman that's why we doing this here podcast right now so I'm just saying if you ever decide to you know text me say hey sis what you got I'm just saying I have something that are available [Laughter] thank you so much for having me today so yeah tell your people they ask you all these questions now you just asked me publicly to the answer to a question I did so all the questions got answered right kind of but I'll ask you the other ones oh Lord Jesus all right a whole new interview part two behind the camera the Terrace uncut yeah that part that part after dark uncut uh listen thank y'all so much for uh tuning in to the dear future wife podcast make sure that you visit the description there's going to be Link in the bio so you can go ahead and uh sign up for this amazing course that I done uh coerced April to read to re-release uh so yeah and thank you for doing that thank you because I always want to provide value to my to my uh my audience I have such an amazing audience that just they they rocking well you know your audience is so amazing that I had not I don't watch a lot of stuff I had not heard of you until the January 4th heartbreak people were sending me your stuff's name is April he need to talk to you you need you need to talk to you they think I I'm the ear the feminine ear they they always send the men that are hurting and broken they're like Miss April reach out to him you really need to reach out to him like my DM was flooded because he just got his heart broken bro he could he could he could really use you know and he probably value talking with you that's how I came across you I'm like what can I do hey why don't you come fix me yes I'm like says he going through his he's telling us he already in his process tell how powerful that is the fact that I am communicating that which I'm going through that's the part that's why I'm like he he don't he doesn't need me now if he was still stuck and blaming everybody else then we need to sit down I said but he's actually saying this is what happened this is what I am but I'm still open to love this is just a situation that did not fit but I'm getting closer I'm getting closer so that's all I'm like they don't shout he don't need to pay me all this money to come sit down because he said it that's I said the partest part is getting people to be aware that's I'm like that's what y'all pay me for to help you become [ __ ] up my way behind maybe disguising that you'd be like just be honest say where you at well you know the first funny the makeup artist she tried but she said they look even the girls you haven't talked to yesterday yeah in the Bahamas they think I'm gonna be obsessed so you're the makeup artist and I'm putting you on blast girl um we were talking and I said what makes you a valuable woman is what I asked her she said well I'm a Child of God I'm a light I'm this I'm like I said oh you General I said go deeper sis she said what do you mean I said you just gave me what every woman gives me it's the general we all a child of God so we all special baby what makes you someone's valuable wife why would somebody choose you to be their wife and give me things that money cannot buy nothing that you've accomplished who are you at your core because that was cute what you just gave me you Google that I want to know who are you and she's like you're right I got he said that takes work I said that's what I do I said that's what I do it causes you to have to go within because you're not accustomed to that you're so used to thinking women and I got to say this that women we we do and I was guilty of it too we always think we're so fabulous darling until we ask the hard questions like what makes you valuable and don't give me what you do um how many degrees you've accomplished what you've accomplished your good credit your sex tricks your nice body and your pretty face take those off the table and tell me who you are I did a tour and that was the first question I asked every tour stop that I went I said y'all know me y'all paid to be here tell me who you are and I made as many of us as I could get up and tell me who they are but only I would say 99 of them could not tell me who they are they told me what they did they told me they were mother they told me about their career they told me how God feared they told me basic stuff I said now go tell me take off the mask and tell me who you are what makes you a man want to marry you what and don't mention any of those things and don't mention I can cook and clean he can hire somebody for that what do you bring to a man's life that money can't buy foreign [Laughter] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] thrust it suddenly into Child Protective Services in 2015. my nephew black a boy the likelihood of being adopted outside of kinship slim to none Armani 16 years old black a boy with five years in the foster care system before I even knew his name the likelihood of ever being adopted yep you guessed it slim to none while ladarian and Armani were trying to survive and barely thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded foster care system I was living my own life doing well professionally having been a single father with a daughter who at that point was doing well in college it was my time to live my life right wrong I felt unsettled tireless agitated there are just too many of our black children stuck in ambiguity and in the limbo of the foster care system in 2017 I legally adopted my nephew ladarian fast forward to 2019 I had no ties to this other young king but I felt God instructed me to adopt him also and I obeyed starting over with parenting should have been enough right working with various foster care and adoption agencies to help bring awareness to the countless young black kings in the foster care system should have decreased my agitation right joining the board of directors of Advantage adoption an organization that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in foster care should have led to some type of resolve right no not at all none of it felt like I had done enough I now realize that every one of those experiences was land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission Kingdom Royale Kingdom Royale will be a luxury state-of-the-art home for foster boys our first location will be in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex we will utilize the whole person approach that instills identity empowers them to advocate for themselves and enlightens them regarding New Perspectives and Limitless options that they thought were impossible though the young kings will attend the local public schools that are in proximity to came to Royale our at-home curriculum will broaden their world view through participating in the Arts attending various cultural events learning about and engaging and multi-faceted discussions about current events and even relevant historical context introducing them to gardening and Landscaping and even caring for our animals on our farm and on-site Stables we just launched our startup Capital campaign with the goal of raising 2.8 million dollars now why 2.8 million dollars well in 2017 I created a web series in which I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless Community one of the most notable successes was that one of the videos went viral garnering 28 million views however one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't raise a single dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable plan for the homeless community so throughout the years with much remorse I reflect and on not maximizing that moment I knew if at that time just 10 of the viewers donated one dollar we would have raised at least 2.8 million dollars that could have really established long-term support for the homeless Community or at least started a long-term initiative to do so this is my do-over this is our new beginning together we can attack this at the root by specifically helping our homeless black boys who are already disproportionately represented in the American foster care system I'm laters R Whitfield I've been nominated for three regional Emmys documenting my work with the homeless as well as my personal adoption Journey despite those accolades the greatest award for me is truly providing the infrastructure for a transformed life visit kingdomroyale.com for more details crown of King and make a donation today I really enjoyed talking to April Mason today I've been wanting to have this conversation about the power of feminine energy for the longest um yeah I believe that unfortunately women have to lean more towards the masculine energy because men haven't been fulfilling their roles but there's so much power in the feminine well here's my favorite part of the podcast where I speak to my future wifey dear future wifey I'm missing you like case looking forward to the day we share the same space Grace Chase nope pursue doing the work before I do truth you transparency love deposits our currency dreaming we're teaming Souls redeeming purpose fulfilling purpose revealing Legacy building protection I'm shielding you from villains haters were dealing with them like their children basically I'm waiting on God and waiting on you at the same dang time your future husband I hope you enjoyed this episode of the dear future wifey podcast remember be lit live intentionally and transparently and don't stop loving make sure to subscribe to our dear future wife YouTube channel we're available on Apple podcast Google podcast Spotify and Stitcher we welcome your support simply share our podcast with your friends and family

Channel: Dear Future Wifey

Views: 584,791

Keywords: dallas, love, podcast, relationships, black love matters, black men, Christianity, healing, weddings, marriage, Love languages, Trust, Commitment, Building a strong marriage, Marriage counseling, Strengthening your relationship, Partnership, Marriage goals, Emotional connection, Marriage enrichment, Building a healthy marriage, Marriage support, Marriage resources, Marriage growth, Marriage education, Marriage guidance, Marriage mentorship, Marriage community, Dear Future Wifey

Id: 3LOFcGXtapg

Length: 135min 1sec (8101 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 07 2023