The You Rock Foundation: Brian and Jennea Welch with 'Loud Krazy Love’

hi I'm Brian Head welt from the band Korn the alcohol and drug abuse is started off as a good time you know late teens early twenties or whatever and then handed a career there's a license to do what you want oh and we're gonna pay you for it and you get free booze and everyone's gonna want to hang out with you and give you drugs for free so what do I sign and so at first you're like man kid in a candy store well a kid in the candy store will get sick and throw up if they eat too much candy every day it was fun at first and then we just kind of laugh at our sickness you know wake up with a hangover throw up at night or whatever and just gonna laugh it off and you know do it the next day building our bass player calls the 20s of terrible twos because you just think so rebellious and don't give a rip you just don't think about your health it's like me me me III it's like what I want you'll cheat and lie we were cheaters liars and selfish egomaniac you know just the same day it was like Groundhog's Day we like to say I live in the same day over and over year after year go home and didn't know really who we were because you stopped drinking you know he started up withdrawal then you're acting out and so your family's not really getting they really you then you're called back on the road and the cycle continues I started drinking around 15 I usually did Thursday Friday and Saturday and that was every single weekend from like 15 on I didn't miss a weekend that's what weekends are for that's what I thought you know so it just got worse than one we got the record deal that we were like here now Saturdays every day every day there's a party every city everybody wants to hang out and party so it's like we waited for the weekend all week long when we are young now we have it every day getaway cup two weekend but anything that's done to excess like that it's gonna turn around eat you alive remind our emotions our relationships our creativity everything suffered when you're there it's like oh we're rock stars were supposed to do this we're supposed to be a mess people love it too they love the story they love the mess story you know oh you're nice to have it all together everyone's like pampering you you're giving everything on a platter it's like you're supposed to be messed up and we want to live through you we want you know the motley crew the kiss we got caught in that cycle for a little over a decade until it's just the bottom fell out and it was like we don't change then there's gonna be a messy crash [Music] I had grandpa I had my dad my brother me we all suffer with addiction and alcoholism it's like this doesn't stop it's just gonna keep going passing down I was like enough I'm not having it [Music] well that's why I left the band cuz I was like I'm not raising her around there she's not gonna grow up and be me or her mom or her granddad or we're gonna stop it right now I'm gonna do anything I can to she was like the one sent from the other side you know however that works to come and break the curse and my family growing up in school with my mom around and with my my dad being gone it was really isolating and I felt like kids didn't understand me kids who grow up in single-parent homes there's like this insecurity because it's unstable and it feels almost unsafe it was really difficult to relate to kids my age and be confident in myself my mom not being in my life really affected my own self-confidence and security and my self-identity almost so I kind of felt like I had walls up you know I couldn't really connect with anyone when I was 12 or 13 I didn't it just experience the pain anymore I was feeling it I grew up in the age of social media I was on Facebook and Instagram and all that and self-harm was a big thing then there was like a self-harm community depression community sometimes the self-harm would be like like a competition like oh well my dad yelled at me so I cut myself oh well my mom yelled at me so I cut like fat into my thigh we were all just hurting and didn't know how to voice our pain and so we used self-harm as a way attention you know like saying hey I'm hurting but also just not being able to articulate what we were feeling it was hard I miss pretty bad I was self-hatred a lot because my heart was I wanted to love and I wanted to do good but my actions weren't capable of manifesting that I was like why am I like this type of thing there was just a cycle of like doing the wrong things and then feeling guilty and then wanting to medicate there not feel the guilt because I can't change and all that you know and that's where the faith came in in the spiritual life could just feel alive it was like gave me this power to desire to want to keep going love's the strongest force on the planet and it was divine love that open to being up to base to hate that I had for myself and it's been 15 years yesterday from the day I've just had that enlightenment it was like 15 years ago when I was 14 years old I went to air pubic boarding school Alda wakening youth it was like a therapeutic experience where there were ten girls at the time under 18 and we basically just did life together woke up together went to school we went home and did chores we made dinner we did night routine it gave me the security that I needed all I wanted was girls who loved me for me and not just because I was heads daughter I wanted just a normal routine of waking up and going to school and having sports cuz I didn't have that before I was on the road my schedule was always messed up and so the consistency taught me self-care and self-love and why I would want to self-care when I dropped her off at that place I knew that she needed to be in the feminine atmosphere you know if he was like with guys all the time me and the band members or whatever if you didn't want to go at all there's a last thing she wanted and I had to break her heart and give her what she didn't want I think without awakening I probably wouldn't be here when me and my dad were dancing at my graduation it felt like everything clicked like I felt like I was whole everything came full circle like all of the pain that me and him went through all of the anxieties and the depression and the suicidal thoughts and all the things that he went through the hardships it was almost like a sign of we're past that now this is our new chapter you know this whole life plan that we're on this planet and then we die and everything I think that just a big lesson is to learn about considering others better than themselves that's why I try to be really nice to the fans you know and go extra corn is just emotional processing machines first of all for our singer second of all for fans we've all felt the things that Jonathan sings about Joey special what it means to people you know I'm just honored that to be a part of a band that is known for giving back to the wounded human condition when we started in Korn we thought this rock stardom was for us Fame and all that but it's like the real gift is for the fans we've been given a gift and they've been really connected to it and they enjoy it and they get healed from it they are everything to us the fans already know sometimes in life just your life bins to see if that bars gonna snap and break and before it would start to bend and it would snap now it could Bend like so far and I'm just stronger now my mind my thoughts my emotions my actions everything that I do is stronger and you can't deny that if this messed up suicidal whatever you want to call me can get through what I did and you guys can get through anything out there you just have to dig deep and if you can't do it you know just ask for help if you are struggling with depression anxiety self-harm suicidal thoughts I'm telling you right now I've been there I've been there there's been times where I've wanted to unplug because it felt easier than going on in living and I'm just here to let you know that I love life it's crazy because I never thought that I would be that person but I'm telling you right now life is worth living and you are worth fighting for get up and fight for yourself you deserve it pain produces something so powerful that if you sit there and and wallow in self-pity and just you know why me you know I've been there I've done that so no shame in that but you pick yourself up and you fight for your life because there's other people that need to hear your story there's been a couple things that helped me in healing my trauma and my depression and anxiety and one of those things is finding a passion finding something that inspires you that you love also just talk to someone I know that it's scary to let people in but we as people thrive in community and talking to people and sharing what you're going through gives us self-worth and it gives us a reason to live much love to you guys never give up you matter you are needed and you rock [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] you [Music] [Music] you [Music]

Channel: The You Rock Foundation

Views: 268,766

Rating: 4.9570837 out of 5

Keywords: you rock, you rock foundation, korn, brian head welch, head, brian welch, jennea welch, music, loud krazy love, mental health, mental illness, mental health awareness, suicide awareness, suicide prevention, anxiety, bipolar, depression, alcoholism, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, drug addiction, addiction, recovery, faith, hope, christianity, jesus, born again, jonathan davis, james munky shaffer, munky, james shaffer, mind over matter

Id: kVsKiHRzuFQ

Length: 11min 44sec (704 seconds)

Published: Mon May 04 2020