THE WICKER MAN (2006) BAD MOVIE REVIEW | Double Toasted

when he finally loses a bear costume knocking [ __ ] out and jumped up on there was slow yeah kind of science yeah like he's almost dancing yeah right what is [Applause] [Applause] [Laughter] he just kind of shitties up there man what is it oh yeah man [Music] best podcast at the austin chronicle best of austin awards how do you do that well you go to vote.austinchronicle.com you sign in you go to the category of politics and media you scroll down the podcast and there we are at the top woohoo you vote for us right there very easy to do so so please vote for us it means a lot and it helps us out a lot so people back in 1973 i was just a we child i was i believe i was one years old man one years old i was not able to i could bear witness to it but i would not be able to comprehend one of the craziest movies to come out that year god in heaven even these people can't be that night oh but there are people and if you if you if you blinked you missed it i blinked a couple of times you missed the title the wicker man right 1973 is the wicker man which is believe it or not a horror movie people like yeah i believe it pretty hard for what i'm looking at right now but yeah this had one of those big shocking twist endings that nobody saw coming at the time it was almost kind of like a horrifying sixth sense of his time in a way deals with a guy who goes to an island after he's been called there to uncover a mystery only to discover something more horrifying than what he was looking for uh insane film insane some people say you cannot make that movie any crazier than what it is nicholas cage said oh yeah [ __ ] that [ __ ] add nicholas cage to anything instant insanity edward i know that we haven't spoken in a few years i need your help returns who's the wicker man you might get well it's it's debatable whether you get a a crazier movie you know that all depends on your perspective but some people say you definitely get a shitty a movie they dragged ellen burst into this yeah this man a few other people that probably should not be anywhere this motion picture right here is on this now the reason i'm doing this is because nicholas cage he has a movie coming out very soon but i decided to go ahead and as a freebie for this week for the bad movie roast dig into a nicholas cage classic right here and it is a classic man this movie has rewarded us hey look it might not be anywhere close and i'm talking about on the other side of the planet is nowhere close to the quality of the original if you talk about storytelling and pacing and all that kind of stuff and acting but i will say that uh this did give us some wonderful memes gifted us with a lot of great quotes and a lot of great memes out there some you will recognize as we go on with our review right here but with this movie listen so right now this film has a very poor 18 percent all right tomatoes like you had to add very poor foreign doesn't deserve it i say there is again a fine argument to be made for this is having such a poor score there and also with all the several of the reviews that have been coming out about this movie throughout the years this has been released 2006 is when this came out but uh i will say that there is a way to watch this movie right here there's a way to watch this movie where it makes it actually pretty riveting makes it actually pretty good very entertaining okay now see the best way to watch this movie right here i'm going to tell you how the best way to watch this film is as a movie so bad that it even drives nicholas cage crazier than what he already is yes i was gonna say it's a big confusion he's a crazier crazier all right it just contributes to his already insane condition that he's in right now let's go ahead and get into the movie right here so the the the start of the movie has him you believe it or not you have a normal nicholas cage man yeah yeah the beginning of the movie has him as a cop just doing his job he's handing out tickets pulling over people talking to him okay uh you know he even goes the extra mile to show you that he's a really good cop he goes you know he goes that extra step he sees a kid drop that toy out of a window a doll a little girl drop a dog he just rolls through to scoop it up you know everybody every time they do these kind of movies there's always a detective you know no no he's no he he okay goddamn like ticket cops yeah all right we ain't got very far in this movie i told you this movie is here to nicolas cage if you look away if you look at that way yeah brilliant turns out that little girl she did not accidentally drop her doll out the window she was with nicholas cage okay why i'm bored i'm bored that's it [ __ ] you yeah yeah i'm bored dog's head off well of course that don't mean nothing that still could have been an accident that girl probably could actually she probably just just tell her like it is she probably accidentally dropped her doll out the window because she's bored oh uh really you think so we won't let it happen again soon great thanks a lot what the hell it won't happen again pick yeah did you see him look at this look at this girl's face that woman said we won't we won't let it happen again the girls are up immediately we won't let it happen again soon great thanks a lot [ __ ] look at that pic pick my [ __ ] up look at him this little [ __ ] and she smiled too yeah he said i just gave that [ __ ] back yeah i just just put it in the car she's not and she's not she's too old to be you have little real little kids oh yeah you handle something to throw back down because that's what like two-year-olds do or one-year-old like she's too old for that look at that [ __ ] get i told you i'm bored entertaining me officer but hey if some of y'all are pissed off out there she's trying to make some of y'all mad don't worry don't worry she gets hurts real quick the ashes on fire it's the carpenter right it was almost like carmel was driving that truck yeah it's almost like that truck driver said hey don't worry nick i got your ass man i got that [ __ ] the dog don't don't don't you feel don't you do don't you feel bad don't don't you feel bad for that look at that don't you feel bad cause i'm gonna tell you something because now y'all looking at me y'all looking at me like oh man that's corey that's not you gone too far sure she's a little [ __ ] man but she didn't but she didn't deserve that come on now i'm telling you don't don't you feel bad for it don't y'all feel bad for her cause even when nick even when she's baking in that car and nicholas cage is trying to break it and save her he's looking at her she's looking at him the whole time like you ain't touching that dirty ass you again i thought i told you to fetch yeah i thought i got rid of you i thought i told you you you got my dogs did you bring it you did not bring your ass back with that no as you can guess he wasn't able to save them but there's one mysterious detail about the accident that's making this very stressful for him so they still never found the bodies from that car right no the car wasn't even registered if you can believe that he says no i can't believe that because that's stupid i saw them he sucked people let me show you something she said it wasn't registered where she the car wasn't registered anywhere oh people there were no if you couldn't hear there were no bodies found in the car which is [ __ ] if you see how that car went down so we're editing sorry that editing is bad even nobody could even escape that editing right there as bad as it is that car was engulfed in flames y'all i look this is not that car blew up so bad knocked his ass across the road that car is engulfed right in five different moves ain't nobody ain't nobody surviving that no so he's traumatized by this but he's more puzzled by how these chicks got out the car in the first place which i wouldn't because that's stupid all right especially when she was acting before before burned up yeah exactly but she wasn't scared [ __ ] he's having i would say he's so traumatized that he's having visions of the accident and his little girl dying but i'm just i'm gonna say that no he's so pissed off at that little girl it pleases him to keep having visions of her getting hit by a truck [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Music] you know also he gets a letter now as i said he's you know he there's this mysterious past that comes up he gets a letter from a romantic past right here i know that we haven't spoken in a few years and things ended badly didn't want to hurt you any more than i did so turns out this girl that's talking about hurting him and everything he was engaged at one time he had a fiance which is crazy because no one that he works with even had an idea that he had a girlfriend okay so was this like some old girlfriend or something this uh willow no no she was um we were engaged what me and him said what at the same time what cause it's like you mean to tell me you're working with these people how long and they didn't even know you had a fiancee right my sister's a girlfriend girlfriend yeah yeah turns out it's been a while it's been so long that uh that old girl she's she uh moved on got knocked up by some mother dude had a daughter and now the girl's gone missing and at this point well she don't know what to turn to so she'll she has no choice but to turn to her ex who's a cop who she feels the only one that has the skills to help her track down a long-lost daughter now he just has to find a way to this mysterious island that supposedly this girl is on and missing uh now for as silly as this movie gets and as much as this movie's messing with nicholas cage he tries to stay in good spirits man even after after he's been just been poked at through the beginning of this movie right here he even starts out kind of corny you know what's that that's how that's how uh in good spirits that he is ahoy there what was that i don't know what you're supposed to say and i just go with hello stupid ass yeah yeah yeah he's like look man i got a lot of work to do today around you see me you see me with a plane you don't catch this yeah yeah you got a dollar not again jesus everybody throwing him at him you're like [ __ ] you see me in front of a plane you slipping talking about a horse right there you know everybody know you say a ahoy when you see a boat [ __ ] i've seen popeye and maybe that's why the movie starts messing with him because nicolas cage going around doing stuff like that dumb [ __ ] yeah like he even went because god tells him like liz i wanna i i this island i'm not flying into this island it's private they hired me to bring goods i wanna lose my job so you know i'm not doing that uh so instead of taking no uh nick he just starts nicholas cage oh nick he just starts being a smart ass with this guy we're all private people around here yeah but you're so warm and open it really makes up for it [ __ ] do you want me to whip your hair i told you to get out of here he looked at him like you said another woman he said another goddamn thing to me and i'm gonna beat the [ __ ] out of you and don't think my old ass can't do it huh no look i tried to be nice but irritated that this man was looking hey everybody got their price hey look how about you take all of us there what do you mean oh well me mr grant here and his twin brother ulysses oh why didn't you say so all right now you speak english ahoy oh so my man here when he gets to this island he got no respect for these people man he kind of roll in a little bit hard man like he's he's so into this uh and comes you know he immediately started pulling that i'm a cop [ __ ] hey i'm here on official police business so everybody got to do what i say and i get to do whatever i want to do he just rolls up in in the classroom and they already got the lesson plan that they spent all day all morning the right the littlest girl in the classroom they're going this [ __ ] came over here and just all right i just got through walking that problem on the board too yeah shut the hell with your lesson but look y'all look at this little girl right here watch watch this look at this little girl he started racing that planche like y'all believe this [ __ ] look at me let's go walk up to that somebody's chest that flash dismissed you know cause i tell you it when when his his ex when his fiancee his ex-fiance shows up whose name is willow she lives there she yes she left for this commune here but when willow shows up when when when willow steps on the scene no this is mr maylis an officer from the mainland and this is well [Music] of course oh boy look at all this [ __ ] this dumb ass really yeah yeah she's like damn damn she's like i remember i broke up with him yeah oh yeah why'd i call her there's always a dick all hard like wow but when she shows up boy that's when he really starts showing up oh he's gonna show his ass too yeah yeah yeah yeah he does yeah he wanted 50 [ __ ] thinking that he can get willow back there he shook man when willow shows up that's when he starts showing out he really he really starts laying it on that that police [ __ ] that's when he really starts laying it on thick i think you all should know that i'm here on business this is official police business and i want to speak to each one of you at some point this is washington i'm aware of that as you can see no one gives a [ __ ] i'm gonna wear these that [ __ ] my game is going i'm trying i'm trying he's like i'm trying to get some ass over here i'm aware of that [ __ ] yeah he's you know you [ __ ] this up for me [ __ ] i swear to god yeah i'm gonna arrest you for it she stepped all on here she's like that don't make no sense willow's watching could you please nobody on this island gives us and the thing is they never did the the moment the moment he got to that island the the moment that he landed on that little ragged ass plane they were with him take a peek [Music] [Laughter] yeah oh okay and you actually there's a guess and i'll mention in a little bit all right well it is but yeah you never and right there you don't know but they give you they insinuated as something okay but he don't want to know anyways it seems like yeah he's like all right no he did him they yeah cause he's cause he's on police business they're making a fool out of him and if you notice another thing is but it's one thing to get got but it's another one they just when they laugh and they keep laughing [Laughter] she took her breath and kept going oh and the kids boy the kids really love messing with him man all kids do apparently they got it but they got into his head when he got what he got there man he thought he was going he thought he cuz he went in and did that with them yeah hey everybody i'm a police officer this is my badge you know i'm one i i catch the bad guys and all that was like man i'm about to give a damn about what you do and then kids the moment he got there they were they were boy these people keep breaking his ass the moment they the moment he got there they were anticipating his ass they but they set him up because he come here asking questions about this little girl he's missing and ain't no ain't nobody snitching whose desk is this [Music] it works every time boy and the teacher's working with them too man that's the thing they all in cahoots everybody tied up his ass we trapped a little bird inside to see how long he can stand it now why in the hell would you let them do a sick thing like that too with you that's why she's like why you think stupid ass got your ass didn't we she's looking like none of your goddamn [ __ ] she's right yeah she looking like because it's funny that's why because you're so gullible dumbass that's why most of the time they just when they messing with what makes it funny is that these kids they keep us they keep a straight face man and you know that they're messing with him the whole time we trapped a little oh no that's that bird let me go over here oh here look at this he clean why he's why he's losing his [ __ ] these people it looks like he's going crazy this is that nigga's cage face yes it is that's that nicholas cage where he's about to nick out yep you got the nick cage out he's about to cage out yeah he's out the cage he's gonna get the cage yeah this is the this because this is the this that at this one the movie this is the tipping point like they are getting on his last nerves little liars rowan woodward is your classmate isn't she all right my wing no snitches she's sucking in her lip right there she's like i don't know this girl can even make eye contact back here yeah she said well you know what you think this is wayne no snitches up in here yeah you saw hey you such a good policeman you go find that [ __ ] yourself and they keep getting his ass and this fool keeps falling forward i mean we way late in the movie after him getting punked and pranked and he's still and he's still falling for this [ __ ] jesus [Applause] [Laughter] stop as soon as he picked up she was laughing she rolled over laughing she showed me [Laughter] well he thought he was about to do some serious rescuing too you dumb mother you again got your ass again boy this is too easy huh they got they do things they put production into it oh man those ladies already got them once yeah they did yeah and one of them says [ __ ] i'm really about to get no i'm really about to get in his mind uh so they introduced themselves as like they got one chick she introduces herself as one person and you're the biggest liar of them all i am warning you you tell me another and i'll rest you myself that is a promise miss rose sister rose of course he's like yeah yeah [ __ ] but she introduced herself as sister rose and then she goes and does a costume change and this is like this is like three minutes after he talked to her so this chick changed clothes ran through the bushes around the path it's just been imprisoned yeah yeah just a mess just to get into his head hey didn't i just speak with you miss rose of sister uh rose no you didn't butt yeah let's see here they got that got that wig on that wig it's attached to that hat right here yeah smudge some brown [ __ ] on her face and they mess with this man so hard they just he start getting up into his dreams like he starts daydreaming in real messed up ways man he starts having uh not daydreams they mess with him so bad he started having day nights god damn it i can't take this [ __ ] [Music] start having daymares all over the dead bodies man yeah you need to get out of there man that bird i've been like all right yeah i ain't taking it i'm calling back up yeah yeah exactly which is what he should have done man should have called for some backup yeah because it's because it's crazy here man uh as soon as i realized i wasn't getting no ass from uh what's her name yeah what was it was the girlfriend's name willow willow willow was like well maybe never mind no i'm out at this point like [Laughter] so it gets to a point where they they finally break his ass man they nick finally snaps do you have permission to charge in here and just no i don't need anybody's goddamn permission their hair is going first he's going he's going so crazy that hair is about to slide off look at it and this is what he's busting the house oh there's oh that bird is about to fly away birds like [ __ ] it ain't worth it man i'm gone i can't watch you hey yeah i can't watch you embarrass yourself no more my cousin jumped out that that desk yeah damn man seconds he busting their house looking for something yeah he's busting that he's looking for something they finally break his ass he's at that point like god damn i do i want to leave me alone yeah babe relax man it's time to get this man some some super speciosa man get this man to relax a little bit help yourself to relax but your mind stays sharp you need needs to start pranking these people again man hey listen you know i got to add right now and this is for super specio and i just took two of these right before the show i actually like these uh what is up with super special sequoia that you take them all the time now and it's got you feeling so good and i do i know i'm talking to my advertiser voice right here but i actually do keep these around man i they sent me a lot of these and i'm about to order some more because what this does is relaxes the body but helps me keep my mind still sharp cool and then you know people usually look to coffee or something to do that i tell y'all i can't drink coffee man coffee gives me the jitters i'll be up all night toes just twitching and everything looking like nick cage yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm up all night looking like this right here god damn it courtney why don't you go to sleep baby shut the [ __ ] up nah man not with the super specious though the thing with superspeciosa that makes it so cool is that this is a herb and this is an herb from thailand called the kratom plant or the kratom leaf and what this does is as i told you you know get you nice and relaxed this is nothing that gets you high or anything like that it's just an herb to help you feel just a little more chill but you know you're still sharp you're still thinking and that's why i take this before the show because i take it sometimes if i don't eat a lot or if i haven't had a meal or something i can take this i don't feel sluggish i don't feel like my mind is wondering you know because i'm hungry and all that kind of stuff uh this actually keeps me pretty alert in order to be sharp enough to host this show for you um it only has one ingredient in it because a lot of people think there's a bunch of other stuff in there nah it's just the kratom leaf man comes in a few different brands uh they have red they have white they have green i recommend people try green that's the most famous one and actually they're all green the brand is just green and they have these capsules that you see right here so i keep these in the room and i take them before every show but the thing is man if you want to try this there is a 100 20 day money back guarantee you try if you try this for 20 days if you don't like it uh get your money back as long as you let them know within that 20 days so you don't really have anything to lose with this and here's the other thing that you're really gonna like about this so we have a code that's gonna save you 20 percent in case you want to get this and the way you do it is you go to getsuperleaf.com forward slash toasted and use our promo code toasted to get 20 off now the cool thing with this is that you can use this promo code again and again so as long as this yeah as long as this promo is going on and you want to order some more and you want to use that code right there you will continue to get 20 off uh i want to thank super specio for sponsoring this portion of the show and i want to thank all of you out there for your support as always now where was i oh yeah am i losing this [ __ ] crazy ass [ __ ] finally got him they finally broke him right i finally broke my man right but he's all up in the house hollering hollering all up and he's picky he busted up in these people's house man see this way this way now he's a shitty cop do you have permission to charge in here and just no i don't need anybody's goddamn permission excuse me [ __ ] ain't this what yeah exactly look at this girl's face [ __ ] all right i'm gonna prank your head yeah yeah [ __ ] i got three birds and a dog just waiting no you know what's that on your head a mask and this is where you start getting some of your great dialogue because at this point he's completely lost it he and this is where you get nicholas cage to where they when they let when they let nick out that cage he just starts he doesn't give a [ __ ] about his because nicholas cage is a is a great actor he is he's a great actor but once you let him loose he don't give a you don't care what that script says no he don't care what he says he don't care about he don't care about uh uh oh what would you call it um context of the scene no not he gets the crazier this movie gets in the more insane the dialogue gets step away from the bike take your stupid mask step away from the bike he's she said take your stupid man yeah cause she's wearing it she got a mask too yeah she don't dare and she and she's what i'm doing oh she was was she falling on a bicycle she she was falling on a bicycle and so he needs to bike now because he wants to go run after somebody so he's like all right you will follow me i'm going to take your bike i'm going to take you yeah he pretty much jackson he bike jackson man we're at good point yeah he pulls like an amish gta on something man step away from the bike oh i guess she's trying to take it she wouldn't have taken she no she's on it she rolls it in she rolls yeah she pretty much starts rolling into his dick in there this is weird yeah and then i got masked off they all got masked and they've been following him and she's been she's pretty much been trailing his ass and he catches her but he's been for her for a while oh no he she's like look man if you would just come in act like a gentleman yeah i wouldn't be doing this with my creepy [ __ ] face and she's cute too but she had i'm sorry that's a scary face together oh this beat people are frightening yeah harvan yeah she just yeah she was stalking his eyes on the bike and he sees it he just like give me give me your [ __ ] is she trying to hide no okay she's just trying to fight step away from the bike she was just riding with a crow mask [Laughter] right behind him yeah man not give it a [ __ ] he saw that no no she's trying to get on his nerves man oh my god yeah here it is right here yeah you take my look at this you think [Laughter] what's with the feathers we're all preparing for what yeah we're all preparing oh yeah i guess there's something and she rolled yeah rolled up on her man [ __ ] she been following her right up on him i don't know and i didn't save a copy yeah [ __ ] even willow starts getting on his nerves oh how to get burned how to get burned how to get bird how to get burned you like calm your asthma can i even answer i don't know yeah what happens is like she tells them now they let this is your kid this kid is yours so now so what he thinks is happening is that if you put this all together all these people wearing these masks this is like mid-summer now he's not moving midsummer yeah midsummer is about by the way what it's reminding me is midsummer is the uh modern day wicker man yeah i've i kind of figured that yeah like all these masks and folks rolling around preparing for a ceremony that's what i figured and their crops have not been good so when willow says i can't find my daughter they won't tell me where she is and all these people start putting on this mask and they start preparing he immediately thinks like oh [ __ ] they're they're sacrificing my daughter now i've got higher so he finally she finally says by the way this is your biological kid like like i left when i was pregnant with your daughter yeah all these people uh they pushed him to the brink you know they've been pranking him they've been following him running into his bicycle mask on these kids been stalking him with these fun ass crazy ass heads on with these masks and that's that he's he's had enough of this island's [ __ ] right it's and this is where you don't want to mess with him and they drive him so crazy this is the point where my man becomes nicholas cage becomes will smith oh [Applause] nick came with that that that left hook too from mississippi i'm telling you that's what martin is saying that came from mississippi it was like it was from nowhere mississippi to washington with that left hook south park i mean he was like yeah [ __ ] [ __ ] keep my daughter's name back she was the first one to talk [ __ ] to him i think you all should know that i'm here on business official california business is it because this is washington i'm a world washington [Laughter] it feels so good he just started knocking everybody out and the knockouts look crazier oh no come on he's knocking the thing he's going around he's like he's on the smack-a-bitch tour now cause he just stopped the knuckles like he knocked her ass out and shut her down cold he started knocking some other people out and they just looked crazy so be asking man poorly no she's in this yeah she's in this not hey not for long he knock that ass out [Music] she like who and where am i like he karate chopped the ass and kicked her across the roof she caught she caught them hands in that foot huh look at this [ __ ] he ragged all that look at this yeah let me see [Music] god look at that huh well the funniest one when he actually oh god like he he's the funniest one boy with it not nothing's funnier than when you get knocked out by i'm doing a bear suit oh no yeah he actually put something like i said he put some production into it okay what is it what's wrong with sister god damn boy you see a bear run up on you don't ask no questions you wearing them like a stool pill yeah you ran up all slow like that she thought that bear had something to say what is it what's wrong with sister this [ __ ] was wrong when he finally loses a bear costume knocking [ __ ] [Laughter] [Applause] [Applause] like [Applause] [Laughter] what is it oh yeah man man and it get to get so good he's like i'm taking on a whole village now man i'm karate kicking [Laughter] that's true he went so crazy because the kicking got good to him oh yeah because he just because he first he was using them hands but once but once he once he kicked poor lily across the room man you know right here you know that kick felt good right there man he said [ __ ] i'm kicking everybody and that's when the that's what the village said yeah these legs got to go broke the broken leg oh yeah they broke his legs so he couldn't run yeah yeah man broke both of them man oh yeah oh and they and then after that and here comes your part people they said oh so you've been you've been putting them bees on everybody huh it felt good putting bees on people let's put we're gonna put the bees right back on you what is that what is that what is it oh no not the beast not the beast [Applause] nicholas cage just realizes like you know what this is stupid and he just does anything oh [ __ ] really acting like no i never once felt like this was gruesome i felt bad for him because he just overacted now well also you wouldn't say oh no not the bees not the beauty just be going yeah maybe just losing your [ __ ] not the bees anything but the bees it is like when you say the bees like how many how many times you got bees poured on you exactly like not again first up they forgot the cheese on my hamburger because that's one of the best lies in the movie he says killing me won't bring back your goddamn honey and one woman is like i think it will yeah that the crop that wants the honey yeah yeah that that they the so the island makes their living off of honey and so when they when when they stop having a good harvest of uh honey and everything else they got to make a sacrifice at this point what do they normally sacrifice well that's the big reveal in the movie so okay this is no oh no you know what i should have said it because at this point you're like what the [ __ ] is going on so the big reveal here and it's a little spoilery the big reveal here is that uh it was not the daughter the whole time that was being sacrificed what happened is this was just one long con game to lure him to the island everything that they're doing was apparently calculated to get him to the island so that he would be the sacrifice so they sent her out there to date him years ago years ago [Laughter] [ __ ] years ago and and get us wrong and leave him and then write him a letter so he comes back after his girl is six years old or something yeah it's no it don't make no sense i mean again that's a long call though it's ridiculously long right right yeah because like all right because again cause that's that's that says that they were together and it's been at least six years if you can believe that's his daughter yeah so we're talking what maybe eight years that's a eight year long con something like that and she must have put it down on him so good that he's willing to come back like like she would have to know that he's willing to do that yeah because of me i've been like i guess you're on your own i'm not going with that that's your little girl angle over there call the police over there yeah we'll be ending things anyway yeah yeah and yeah let me see him man you want some child support you got it but you know yeah yeah i want some blood tests too [ __ ] yeah let me see cause they they get him down break his legs and he didn't well you know what though he got his licks in before cause he's [ __ ] him up for a while oh he was man you don't tell you lily so we escape ain't never gonna be right again oh she wasn't right before when she went down she was crazy oh uh oh that's the thing y'all yeah let me see here she ain't jacob will be right ever again no and that's two versions of this too the part you saw with the leg breaking uh that is from uh the uncut version there's a pg-13 version where they're wrestling to the ground all you hear is ah my legs oh that was pretty brutal yeah no it was it was and uh like i had to i have one version not to find the other version uh i have to find the other version on uh somewhere else and so yeah that torture scene has some crazy lines i think the ones like this is murder killing me won't bring you back your goddamn honey and one chicken like i think it will murder killing me won't bring back your goddamn honey but i know it will i know it will [ __ ] shut up [ __ ] but i say different yeah helen bernstein oh is that him person yeah so like i said if you've seen this movie you know that that's the part of the movie where the village set him up man they set him up and uh and so it's a long long decade yeah they even say in the movie yeah they say it's uh they say this whole thing yeah we've we've orchestrated this for years we orchestrated all of this with the greatest care everything that's happened your fate was sealed many years ago many years many years ago like this i bet you didn't know i was going to whip your ass all the way out i got some answers when i put that beer on y'all yeah man yeah so he told them uh and that's what they told him they told him that uh they even set it up to where the daughter uh they actually tied her up to make him like uh so it is his daughter uh turns out they needed that what they needed was a blood link for the sacrifice somehow it don't make no sense y'all but they set it up to where the they even had the daughter uh get it on the act where she puts herself on a stick and act like she's about to get burned at the stake [Music] and you know what it would be horrifying if it wasn't nicholas cage the first movie's hard found one of the biggest uh one of the biggest parts in that movie is when uh i'll see if i can find it like when when the when the original actor is a big checker little chunk of the movie been at a bear costume the uh let me see it so they got a part in here in the original let me see here yes let me see here oh yeah here's the here it is in the original when they get ready to sacrifice and they put him up there and it's like the guy sees the wicker man and he's he's one of the biggest lines here is oh god jesus christ oh god jesus christ yeah so what's he saying he's seeing the wicked man and he realizes at this point like oh god i'm about to be sacrificed for i'm about to be burned alive okay yeah okay i see it's actually truly horrifying yeah he this guy sells it like if anybody seen this movie the the end of the movie it's like when this guy realizes what's happening like he it it's truly horrifying the guy sells it uh nicholas cage just makes it funny man yeah yeah he he tries to he tries to do it like you know he tries to do the line like oh my god oh my god [Applause] oh god oh my god oh my god yeah it's kind of how it sounds right even when he's uh even when even when he's actually being burned at the edge it's still kind of hilarious man okay so when you re-watch a movie you know sometimes you watch it if it's an intricate story you watch a movie so that you can go back and pick up on small details and those small details either make the movie make even more sense or adds more to the experience of the film you rewatch this the movie makes less and lessons because i went through some of these scenes over again because that you know so if they orchest check this out so if they orchestrated this then we got to go back to that car crash so that means that they hired somebody in the truck to hit this car at a certain angle so he hired somebody to do that keep in mind the car goes up in flames and we saw where it exploded so that means that and when the bodies were gone so the whole thing was orchestrated we hired a truck driver we hit the car these people were meant to come out of this this explosion right here you understand what i'm saying i guess i forgot what the the connection the car accident has to it i they say that there were no bodies found in the car right what does that do with the woman contacting him though i think it's to make him take time off from the police oh okay i see but they don't say cause that never comes back okay well they never mention it again if those bodies are gone like i understand it was a car crash and the body and the people died and he's like oh i can't take it and everybody's like oh this is the perfect time to reach him then right but apparently it was to get him traumatized get him to take time off from the force and to get him to go to that island or maybe he'd be more receptive to going there well since it was a little girl yeah i don't know you know that's what i'm thinking but i guess i need to hire the shittiest little girl in the world to be honest yeah the one girl is just like you know she's already kind of egotistical actors right yeah man you know so that don't make any sense that these people orchestrated this whole car wreck and they got out of they you know got out the car fine they went back well they were blonde so maybe they're from the village no that's it that's the thing no they're from the village so maybe they sacrificed themselves but they weren't in the that's right they were in the car and as we just said they go through this long con of dating him living with him getting pregnant leaving you know for years later yeah even the cop at the beginning this this is where it gets real crazy the cop that works with him that we saw coming to his house at the beginning she's from the village this all right i thought maybe because she was blonde and looked all weird so she's blonde yeah yeah blind got this like you were pinned looking for right right so yeah there's like so like what this person got onto the police force right so she he knew who she was yeah he knew her so she went to the academy went on the police right right just to watch him you know what oh get out of here yeah it's a little too much yeah uh and also here's another thing that bag that you saw at the beginning it's highly insinuated that it was the pilot that did it and the villagers did not like it because they killed his ass later [Music] i like the way he's shaking i'm like hey you okay yeah yeah yeah yeah you all right the pilots that did what now now now it's insinuated the pilot's in that bag yeah yeah right after he got off the plane right yeah they got a quick thing because they even say a few things to insinuate that yeah we didn't like what he did you ain't supposed to be here how did you land here by the way was it the harbor pilot he just well he'll need a good talking too so it's insinuated that they clubbed him and that's not even really insinuating that's just saying he's in it yeah they clubbed them they and then they uh and then they they killed him but the thing is why okay so why would you uh if this was all planned wouldn't the pilot be in on it so why did you kill him unless he knew too much right maybe he knew too much and because you do want him there well he's the one that brings goods to the island so i would figure that even if he didn't know too much they would still be bringing some attention to themselves right and also but do you want nicholas cages there so why would you be mad at the pilot brush they wanted yes right you want them there for the sacrifice i mean look at them since unless he was unless he wasn't part of the plan he was supposed to get there some other way but the only uh the only part that makes sense in this movie is that if anybody was gonna fall for this at all this whole thing of a dude being duped into doing this doing a long con and the the dude that would absolutely fall for this would be when you leave here where are you going home james franco yeah it's like yeah they get his ass oh they get him too oh yeah this is the end of the movie it's my apartment when you do you take me with you [Music] nicholas cage is still screaming no he's crazy of course he was yeah he thought he almost fell for new york right hell yeah on twitter whatever you're [ __ ] with that girl a 17 year old chick got him on twitter so you damn right he fought for this he's like yeah oh jimbo's gonna get some ass tonight yeah [ __ ] later that night how old are you no no not the teens well there you go folks that is the wicker man as i said the 2006 wicca man with nicholas cage as i said if you watch it where they are just driving nicolas cage crazy to the one to the point where he just starts beating down women at the end and i'm not saying that's a good thing not at all i'm not i'm not i'm not talking i'm not talking about misogyny in a good way i'm just saying they drive this man crazy it's a village full of women uh the women in the village they uh they actually they actually uh uh almost like enslaved man just for breeding uh this insinuated i saw some dudes there yeah it's insinuated that they cut their tongues out and they can't talk and yeah yeah he's getting that good loving i guess isn't that [ __ ] ain't got no choice if [ __ ] nicholas cage leaves on one of them to do like all right oh damn okay yeah and it's too bad too because nicholas cage is not there's a point we started being nice to people in the village like he starts helping out with chores and stuff oh yeah yeah and they just yeah they just yeah you know it's too bad get some good work from him before we kill his ass well you think that would be nicer at some point like just to throw him in the stand so he didn't go leave but maybe i guess they know they can stop him if he leaves yeah that's where they fall over yeah that's why they're keeping eyes on him all over the place but there you go people uh watch it with that frame of mind and a terrible movie is all of a sudden a little more entertaining hey everyone support our patreon which helps us to continue bringing you our live streams videos and podcasts while bringing you new content such as exclusive live streams and animated shorts [Music]

Channel: Double Toasted

Views: 102,043

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Id: F3IAj8IWRyc

Length: 56min 55sec (3415 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 16 2022