(playful music) - What is up, Solofam? My name is Jon Solo, and boy,
do I have a story for you. "The Adventures of Pinocchio" is a book you guys have
been begging me to check out basically since "Messed
Up Origins" started. After reading it, I understand why. We've covered a lot of
stories on this show, diverse stories from all over the world. But in my opinion, not a
single one is even close to being as straight-up
weird as Pinocchio. It reminds me of a book that would be written by Tom Bombadil. Some of you might not be
surprised to hear that, because honestly, Disney's "Pinocchio" is a pretty weird movie. Like why does this cat wear
clothes and walk on hind legs, while Figaro is a normal kitten? Seems that we have
another Goofy versus Pluto situation on our hands. But on top of being weird as butts, it has an incredibly messed up ending, possibly the most depressing we've read. We're gonna get all into
that book in just a second. First, I wanna recap the Disney movie, so it's fresh in your head. Don't forget that if you wanna support the channel and series,
to smash that like button. It's been a really long time since we've hit our goal of 5,000 likes. So if you guys can somehow manage to reach it by this weekend, I'm gonna do an extra episode of "Messed Up Origins" next week. My hopes are high don't let
me down, Solofam, I need this. (wind whooshing) The movie opens with an Italian
woodcarver named Geppetto, finishing up his new marionette, and naming him Pinocchio. That night, he wishes upon a star for the puppet to become a real boy, and the Blue Fairy grants his wish. The fairy tells Pinokes that
if he proves himself brave, truthful, and unselfish,
he'll become a real human boy. And she assigns Jiminy
Cricket to be his conscience. Geppetto was thrilled to find that Pinocchio's come to
life, and the very next day, he sends him to school. Only Pinocchio gets distracted
by a scumbag fox and cat, who convince him to join
Stromboli's puppet show for an easy path to fame and fortune. Even though he's a hit with the crowd, Pinocchio doesn't get any of the puppet shows revenue himself, and when he tries to go home, Stromboli locks him in a bird cage, and their wagon takes off. The Blue Fairy comes to
Pinocchio that night, and after making him and Jiminy promise to not make any more
mistakes, she sets him free. Only he finds himself
getting swindled once again, into going to Pleasure Island
with a group of misfit boys. It's on this Island
that young, stupid boys are encouraged to act on every
impulse and desire they have. But after less than a day
of degenerate behavior, the boys start transforming into donkeys, and are sold to the salt mines
as slaves, pretty freaky. Pinocchio and Jiminy escape the island, and learn that was eaten alive by a giant whale named Monstro, while searching for the missing puppet. Pinokes takes on the responsibility of saving Geppetto himself,
and despite the risk involved, he pulls it off successfully. Well, mostly successfully. He actually dies in the process, but because he acted so bravely and selflessly to save his father, the Blue Fairy brings him back to life as a real human boy, and
that weird little family lives happily ever after. I'll be honest, Pinocchio
always freaked me out as a kid. I hated Stromboli, and the part where the
kids turn into donkeys. Also it's from 1940. I'm not the only one who
finds something creepy about old movies, right? Anyways, if you thought that was crazy, remember that Disney has always toned down the harsher elements of these stories, including the character
of Pinocchio himself. Carlo wrote "The Adventures of Pinocchio" to serve as a warning to children that always choosing to do
what's easy, and expedient, and enjoyable will eventually
get you into trouble, and that you're gonna have
to work hard and suffer to reach your full potential. Because of that, we see Pinocchio make quite a few stupid decisions, starting on the day he was first carved. The story starts with a
wood craftsman named Antonio finding a block of pine wood that he's gonna turn
into a leg for his table. Only as soon as he starts carving
into it, the wood screams. Antonio is freaked out by
the apparently magic wood, and gives it to his
poor neighbor Geppetto, who plans on starting a
career as a puppeteer. He decides to use the wood to make his first puppet, Pinocchio, but right out of the gate, his
behavior is downright rude, and a few other choice words
I try not to use on this show. As soon as his nose is carved,
it starts to grow longer, the more he acts like
a butthole to Geppetto. Right after his feet are carved, he kicks Geppetto in the shin, and immediately after
learning how to walk, he runs out of the house and into town. When he gets into town, he
runs into a police officer who assumes he's been
mistreated by his father, because why else would
he be running from him, and he arrests Geppetto. The most ridiculous part is
Pinokes doesn't even care. He brushes the incident off,
and goes back to his house, where he meets the character who inspired Jiminy
cricket, Rickety Cricket. Nah, he just met a
regular talking cricket. Unlike Jimminy cricket, who
set up camp in Geppetto's house the night Pinocchio was made, talking cricket says he's lived
in the house for a century. And he warns Pinocchio that
if he continues to misbehave, he'll have to suffer repercussions. Pinokes didn't really feel like listening to the whole spiel though. So he decided to throw a hammer
at the cricket, killing him. To be fair, it was an accident. He just wanted to throw the
hammer near him, but still sad. A century of life ruined
by one rude puppet. Pinocchio fixes himself a meal, and falls asleep with
his feet on the stove, which results in them burning off. When Geppetto was released that night, he agrees to make Pinocchio some new feet, if he goes to school the next day. He sells his only jacket for enough money to buy Pinokes a textbook,
and the next morning, Pinocchio takes it with
him on his way to school. Only just like in the movie, he's distracted by a puppet show, and decides to sell his
textbook for a ticket. So disrespectful. Apparently the puppets
in the show were carved from the same block of wood as Pinocchio, because they recognize him from the crowd, and call out to him during the show. This affectively ruins the
show for the rest of the crowd, and the terrifying puppet
master, Mangiafuoco, holds Pinocchio personally responsible. He decides he's gonna use
the puppet as firewood to cook his meal later that night. The puppet master is a
pretty interesting character. Listen to the way he's
described in the book, "A large man so ugly, he evoked fear by simply being looked at. He had a beard as black
as a smudge of ink, and so long that it fell from
his chin down to the ground, enough so that when he
walked, he stepped on it. His mouth was as wide as an oven. His eyes were like two
red tinted lanterns, with the light turned on at the back. And in his hand, he sported a large whip made of snakes and fox
tails knitted together." This is the book's rendition
of what he looks like, and this is mine. I think they're equally hideous. Now while Mangiafuoco is
a terrifying human being, he's surprisingly compassionate. When Pinocchio breaks down in sadness, telling him about his poor father Geppetto waiting for him at home, the
puppet master feels sympathy, and he gives Pinocchio five gold coins to give to his father, and sets him free. It'd be nice to hear that
Pinokes went home after all this, apologized to Geppetto,
and gave him the gold coins to buy them a nice dinner and a new coat. Unfortunately that would have gone against the entire purpose of this book, which I'll say again, was to
show children what happens when you pursue what's
expedient and enjoyable over what's difficult and truly rewarding. It's pretty much the opposite
of, "The Legend of Hercules," which we talked about a few weeks ago. He deliberately chose a
severe and glorious life, over a pleasant and easy
life, because he's the man. It's crazy that these stories were written over 10,000 years apart, and
have such a similar message. I mean, think about it,
"The Legend of Hercules" was one of the most popular stories throughout the entirety of ancient Rome and Greece's existence. This might blow your mind,
but the story of Pinocchio is the second most translated
book ever published, right behind the Bible, and it's one of the
best-selling books of all time. I think there's a reason
we humans gravitate towards stories with this kind of message. I think somewhere in our
subconscious, ancient brain, we know this message to
be a fundamental truth. Anyway, let's get back on track. On the way home, Pinocchio
comes across a fox that's pretending to have a busted leg, and a cat claiming to be deaf. Note that in the movie,
the cat isn't deaf, but instead just doesn't talk. I like finding little changes like that. They tell Pinokes that if he
plants his five gold coins in a field, outside
the city of Catchfools, they'll sprout into gold coin trees. And see that bird in
the upper left corner? He tries to warn Pinocchio that he's about to get played for a fool, but the cat eats him. Not a super important detail,
but what I wanted you to know. Some of you might be wondering, how is Pinokes eating up all this baloney? Is he that big of an Oscar Meyer fan? but you've gotta remember, he's got the innocence of a child, and a brain that's made of wood. So he wasn't born with
the best baloney detector. I wish I had a literal baloney detector. I love baloney. And I hate looking for it at the store, 'cause I always get lost. They offered a walk him to the city, and they'd con him into
using one of his gold coins to pay for their expensive
dinner at a nearby inn. They basically do that thing
where when you're on a date, you have someone call you
with a fake emergency, just in case it's going terribly, or the person's profile pictures were a little too flattering. Pinocchio falls asleep at the inn, and they duck out early,
leaving behind a note saying there was an emergency, and to meet them at the Field
of Miracles the next morning. They go a ways ahead on the path, and disguise themselves as bandits to try and rob Pinocchio
of his last four coins, when he walks by. They almost have him too, until Pinocchio bites off the cat's hand, and makes a break for
it for a nearby house, where the fairy with turquoise hair lived. As you can probably guess, the fairy with the turquoise hair is what inspired the
blue fairy in the movie. Pinocchio was banging on
the door, begging for help, but the fairy tells him that
all of the house's inhabitants are dead including herself, and
she's waiting on her coffin. I don't know, I can't explain that one. Without her help, Pinocchio
is caught by the bandits, who tie his hands behind his back, and proceed to hang him from a tree. Only this isn't the quick style hanging that breaks your neck when you fall. They strung him up and
lifted him by his neck, off the ground, which means
he was forced to suffocate, while the fox and cat watched, until they got bored of watching, I guess. Apparently it takes a while for
a magic puppet to suffocate, and the two just walked
away when they got bored, which means that Pinocchio spent
his last few moments alone, reflecting on the bad decisions he made, and the tomfoolery that led to his death. (wind whooshing) Originally, this is where the story ended. It was meant to show young
people what'll happen if you refuse responsibility, and just do whatever's
immediately gratifying instead, essentially sacrificing the
great person that you could be for the underdeveloped mess
that you currently are. But in 1833, readers weren't
happy with this ending. They loved the rest of the book, but they wanted Pinocchio
to have a full story arc, where he redeems himself
and becomes a good person. And I think that's reasonable. How much would any of us have liked "The Emperor's New Groove,"
if he died in the jungle with the panthers, and
the movie was just over? So when the author's
publisher reached out to him to ask about a possible expansion to "The Adventures of Pinocchio," Carlo was like, "Sure, I'll
just write another 15 chapters." And here we are almost 200 years later, still talking about him. Now, remember, while the fox and cat did string up Pinocchio in the tree, they left him alone after awhile, because they got bored
watching him suffocate. And also he didn't know
it was the fox and cat, because they were in disguise. So when he runs into them later and acts all buddy buddy, that's why. He didn't know it was them. It ends up being the
fairy with turquoise hair that saves Pinocchio's life, even though she just turned
him away moments before. She looked out her window and saw him hanging
lifelessly from a tree, so she sent a hawk to help him down, and a stagecoach to bring
him back to the house. She calls in three famous doctors to gauge the puppet's condition. The first two, an owl and a crow, couldn't give a definite answer, probably 'cause they weren't real doctors. I bet you they were like
chiropractors or something. The third doctor was actually the ghost of the talking cricket that Pinocchio killed in
the first few chapters. He said Pinocchio would be all right, but he's irresponsible,
and a terrible son. That's gotta sting, right? Even if your heart's made of wood? The fairy tries to give
Pinocchio some medicine to speed along the healing process, but he refuses, until
four rabbit undertakers come to the house with a
coffin to take his body away. This gets his attention. He drinks the medicine, and pretty much instantly feels better. But now it's time to explain to the fairy how he got himself in such a predicament. He tells her everything that
happened with the cat and fox, leading up to the incident. But when she wants to know what
happened to his gold coins, he starts to lie. This chapter is what served as inspiration for the nose growing scene in the movie. According to the fairy,
there's two types of lies, one that makes your legs grow shorter, and another that makes your nose longer. Of course Pinocchio's lies
are the nose-growing kind. And soon enough, he can't turn
his head in either direction without knocking something over. At first, the fairy
thinks it's kinda funny, because she's just trying
to teach him a lesson. But he starts to get really upset. And after a few hours
of listening to him cry, she summons a thousand woodpeckers to peck his nose back to its normal size. The fairy seems to truly
care about Pinocchio, so she makes him an offer. He and Geppetto can move in with her, and she'll help raise him as
if he was her little brother. It turns out that Geppetto
was already on his way over, and Pinocchio was super
excited to see him, and apologize for being such a crappy son. It looks like the puppet's finally trying to make some changes. But as Mike Tyson once said,
"Change comths in time." So his morals are still
a work in progress. He leaves the house to
search for his father, and therefore hopefully
see him a little sooner, but on his way, he runs
into the fox and cat. The cat is still missing his paw from one Pinocchio bit
it off in self-defense. But for some reason, the puppet can't put two and two together. It takes a lot of convincing, but the cat and fox once
again persuade Pinocchio to come with them to
the Field of Miracles, and bury his gold coins, which they claim will then
sprout gold coin trees. After the coins are buried,
the group splits up. But when Pinocchio returns to
the field 20 minutes later, he finds that he's been scammed, and his coins have been stolen. He runs to the courthouse in
the nearby city of Catchfools, which is populated by people who sacrifice their future wellbeing for
immediate satisfaction. There's hairless dogs,
featherless chickens, butterflies without wings. It's a rough sight. Carlo added a symbolic detail
when describing the city, saying that every once in a while, a beautiful stagecoach would pass through that was driven by either a
fox, a hawk, or a vulture. These animals are all
predators and scavengers, and likely played a role in the downfall of the rest of the city's residents, just like the rich scumbags
who populate our planet. When Pinocchio gets to the courthouse, he explains everything that happened with the fox and cat, to a gorilla judge, who has sympathy for the puppet, but even still chose to punish him for the crime of foolishness. After being in jail for four months, Pinocchio starts on his way
back to the fairy's house, which he soon discovers
is no longer there, and was replaced by a gravestone. Pinocchio starts crying, and a
nearby pigeon overhears this, and offers to take him to the beach, where Geppetto was
currently building a raft to go look for him. When he's dropped off,
he rushes to the coast, and sees Geppetto far out in the distance. He tries to swim out to him, but the current keeps pushing him back. And then he sees a giant
wave come crashing down on Geppetto's raft. He tries swimming out and
saving Geppetto once again, but the old man's body is gone. So he ends up swimming to
the nearby Island of Busy. Everyone on this island
spends their entire day working and doing chores. And it takes some time for Pinocchio to grasp this concept of working hard, and earning something. He offers to help a woman bring
her water jugs to her house, in exchange for a drink,
and soon he realizes that she's the fairy with turquoise hair, just somehow older. She makes a deal with Pinocchio
that he can live with her, and she'll act as his
mother if he goes to school. And she hints that if he's
good for an entire year, he'll become a real boy. There's a few hiccups along the way, including a fistfight,
but Pinocchio works hard and manages to rise to
the top of his class. And the fairy tells
him that come tomorrow, he'll be a real boy. She also says they should
throw a party to celebrate, and he goes out to invite
all his friends from school. See, back in the day, you couldn't just make a Facebook event if you were having a party. You had to see people in person, and physically hand them
invitations, or mail them. But the point is, there
was a physical invitation. It's when Pinocchio sees
his friend Candlewick, that trouble starts
creeping over the horizon. Candlewick says he can't go to the party because he's waiting
on his ride to Toyland, a place where no one has to work, and you can have fun all
day doing whatever you want. Sounds too good to be true, because it is. He invites Pinocchio
to come along with him, and at first Pinocchio was like, "Nah, I spent the past year working
my butt off in school. I'm gonna be a real boy." But Candlewick is really convincing, and how much discipline
can you really expect a puppet to have when he's
being sold the dream life? He ends up joining Candlewick
on the wagon to Toyland, despite there being plenty
of signs that he shouldn't. For example, the donkeys
that were pulling the wagon were all wearing shoes, similar to the ones that
Pinocchio was wearing. Not to mention one, of the
donkeys literally said, "Don't come with us,
it's a really bad idea. Look at me, I'm a talking
donkey with shoes on. Do you think that's a little off?" Pinocchio and Candlewick
spent five months in Toyland, living the dream life they always wanted. But one morning Pinocchio
wakes up to discover he's grown a set of donkey
ears, and so has Candlewick. Just like in the movie,
the two learn the hard way that boys who don't
study and try to grow up eventually turn into donkeys. And by the end of that day, their transformations were complete, and Pinocchio was sold to a circus. Initially he was expected to
be a trick-performing donkey, but after being trained and
abused for three months, he sprained his ankle,
and was sold once again this time to a man who
planned on killing him, and using his hide to make a drum. Apparently the man
wasn't totally heartless, because he felt bad looking
into the donkey's eyes, as he killed him. So get this, he ties
Pinocchio's legs together, and then ties a rope around his neck, and throws them into the ocean. Once again, no Pinocchio's
fairy was looking out for him, and she sent a school of 1,000 fish to eat the donkey parts off of him. So when the man fished him out, he was expecting a dead donkey, but got to living puppet instead. He's pretty angry about the
fact that he wasted money on a pretend donkey, but Pinocchio jumps back into the ocean before he can be turned into firewood. He swims as far away from land as he can, only to come across the terrible dogfish, the book's version of the whale Monstro. He tries swimming back to land, but the dogfish catches to
him, and eat him right up. Pinocchio decides to explore
the belly of the beast, and who does he run into but Geppetto. The old man's been living
in the dogfish's stomach for two full years, surviving off supplies from a larger ship the monster also swallowed. Unlike the movie where Pinocchio
and Geppetto start a fire to make Monstro sneeze, they simply climb out of his stomach, and ride to land on the back of a tuna. That sounds like a lot of fun, right? I wish I had a better relationship
with the tuna community, so I could give it a try. But the story isn't over yet. This is when Pinocchio really takes on the full responsibility of
not just being a real boy, but a real adult. When looking for shelter, they actually run into the fox and cat from earlier in the story, only now they look more like
the residents of Catchfools. The cat's really gone blind, after pretending to be
for who knows how long. And the fox is hairless, has no tail, and lost function in one of his legs. They begged Pinocchio for help, but he tells them they
got what they deserve, and bids the false friends goodbye. He and his father stumble upon a cottage where they're welcomed inside, only to find the ghost
of the talking cricket. He's still pretty bitter
about Pinocchio killing him when they first met, but he lets them both move into his house, because really what's a
cricket need a full house for? Right away, Pinocchio gets himself a job working for a farmer,
the same farmer actually who bought Candlewick, after
he turned into a donkey. Unfortunately, Candlewick
doesn't have a happy ending, and Pinocchio watches him die
from being worked too hard, and not giving enough water. Even still, he works for the farmer in exchange for a glass of milk that he gives Geppetto every day. The old man's still recovering after living in the dogfish for so long. While all this is happening, Pinocchio really kicks it into high gear. He starts making baskets out of reeds, and selling them, and uses the money to buy food, water and books, which he uses to teach
himself to read and write. After months of saving,
Pinocchio has enough money to buy himself a new suit,
but on his way into town, he runs into a talking snail that he met on the Island of Busy. The snail tells him
that the fairy is dying, and can't afford food or medicine. So without a second thought, Pinocchio hands over the 40 pennies he was gonna use to buy
his suit, and returns home. That night, Pinocchio has a dream, where the fairy visits
him and gives him a kiss. And when he wakes up, he learns he's finally become a real boy. And to top it off, not only did the fairy give him a new suit and shoes, but also 40 gold coins in
place of his 40 pennies. (wind whooshing) The story ends with Pinocchio
and his father embracing, and staring at his puppet
body, now sitting to the side. Pinocchio says happily,
"How ridiculous I was as a marionette, and how happy I am now that I've become a real boy." (wind whooshing) And with that comes the end of the story. I hope you guys enjoyed
this uncut version. The Pinocchio origin episodes
are some of my favorites that I've done so far, but
it's always kind of bothered me that there wasn't a complete version for the people who just wanna sit back, and listen to it all unfold at once. So I thought this would be a fun project to edit together while
I'm out of town this week, and can't work on my usual stuff. If you liked this episode, make sure to smash that like
button with all your heart, so we can reach our goal of 5,000 likes, and get you some extra content next week. That was an old clip that started us off, but I'm gonna stick to
that promise anyway. There will be at least one new "Messed Up
Origin" episode next week, when I get back from vacation, if you reach that 5,000
like goal by this weekend. As always, the best way to
stay updated on Disney news, and what kind of content
I'm working on next, is to follow me on social media. That's Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. All those links can be found
in the description down below. I'll see you next week, SoloCups. Until then, my name is Jon Solo, and remember, Jon shot first. (playful music)
