MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. ALL: (discordant yelling) We play Dungeons & Dragons! MATT: Indeed. Before we jump into tonight's episode, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with our first sponsor for the night, our returning sponsor actually, NordVPN. Sam, take it away. Sam? Sam? Right, right, right. Okay. Long story, but Sam was actually a level 20 hack master known as BlackWillow69@aol.com, And, well... MARISHA: He always used NordVPN for the highest-quality encryption for internet traffic. And it hides your IP and physical location, with more than 5,400 servers in 59 countries. I mean, it's easy to get better speed and protection with one simple click. Poor bastard.
ASHLEY: Yeah. You know, Sam always knew that it's available on every platform. MARISHA: He did. ASHLEY: Yeah, including Windows, iOS, Android and Linux. Ly-nux? Linux.
MARISHA: Linux. ASHLEY: I know computers really well. MARISHA: Such a good haxxor. ASHLEY: (tearfully) He wanted you all to go to nordvpn.com/criticalrole or use code criticalrole to get a two-year plan plus one additional month with a huge 70% discount. MARISHA: I mean, Sam waged a digital battle for the freedom of the Nordiverse, until someone sliced him and turned him into a gleaming cube of energy. MATT: Yeah. Sorry about that. But where is this spectacular gleaming cube? MARISHA: Yeah.
ASHLEY: I don't have it. LIAM: Wait a minute. Travis! Are you... Are you eating Sam?! TRAVIS: What? Oh. My bad. No, just gleam-- (chokes) (laughter) The gleam cube was made out of cake. (laughter) ASHLEY: What? TRAVIS: I thought it was my-- (laughter) LIAM: We're very upset right now. TRAVIS: Thought it was my birthday. (laughter) MARISHA: But it's not your birthday! TRAVIS: (high-pitched) I know. That's why I thought it was weird. LAURA: Oh my god. You ate a slice of BlackWil-- BlackWil-- I can't even say his login handle. MARISHA: Oh, I'm going to barf. TRAVIS: Laura, are you-- Are you crying? LAURA: I'm fine, Travis. It's not like he was the only man I ever loved. LIAM: That spirit cube contained 10,000 zetabytes of BlackWillow's computer knowledge. All the Super Meat Boy ciphers, all the No Man's Sky cheat codes, every Dharma he ever Gregged. And now... TRAVIS: It's in my belly? LIAM: How do you feel? TRAVIS: Well, you know, now that you mention it, I do feel a little woozy. (electronic distortion) ASHLEY: What's happening?
LAURA: What? [upbeat electronic music] TRAVIS: Maybe I should just unlink my black water capacitor, hard target the maximum risk, cyborg the Time Cop and kickbox the JCVD. MARISHA: Holy Emma Bunton! Those were legit computer hacker terms. But how? TRAVIS: What's happening to me? How do I know all of this, and how am I surfing the net with my arms? ASHLEY: By consuming Sam, you've somehow become leet! TRAVIS: Whoa. Maybe I'll hack into the Domino's servers and get us all free pizzas. ASHLEY: Ooh! TALIESIN: Free pizza is the least of your concerns, young crypto-prodigy. There's a nano storm coming. TRAVIS: What do you mean? TALIESIN: A great disturbance in the internet. I've sensed it, a snitch in our servers, a ghost in our shell, a robot in our Frank. Something not of this world. TRAVIS: Well, what am I supposed to do about it? I'm just a noob. TALIESIN: No, you are... The Two. TRAVIS: The-- The Two?
[music abruptly stops] TALIESIN: Yeah, like Neo in The Matrix. TRAVIS: Oh, you mean The One? TALIESIN: They did that already, so you're The Two. Your hacker name is Number Two. TRAVIS: I don't want to be The Two. TALIESIN: (sighing) Sorry, that's the prophecy. TRAVIS: Well, can't we come up with something else, like CyberCowboy69, or I don't know, The Sentinel, but spelled with all numbers? TALIESIN: Listen to me, Number Two. If you're going to save the mainframe,
[upbeat electronic music] you need me to train you. TRAVIS: You? What's your trainer code name? TALIESIN: They call me Morpheus. TRAVIS: What!? You said I couldn't be The One. TALIESIN: Names aren't important, Number Two, we need to begin your training. (laughter) TRAVIS: Let me guess, the next time NordVPN sponsors our show? TALIESIN: You're already learning, Number Two. Matt, hack to you. (sputtering laughter) MATT: Thank you, everyone for that. (light applause) ASHLEY: Wow. MATT: Well done, Travis. That commitment, the commitment. LIAM: Wow. ASHLEY: Who does Number Two work for? MATT: All I could think of was, "Who is Number One? You are Number Six. "I am not a number, I am a free man!" For all you ancient Brit TV appreciators out there. Thank you, NordVPN, for sticking around-- (laughter) LIAM: All at once. MATT: -- with this deep lore. And thank you to our second sponsor for the night, and all of campaign two, D&D Beyond. (cheering) D&D Beyond is an amazing online digital tool set to maintain and customize your campaigns and create your characters and maintain them on an online database. They have digital dice to use on it. You can have all of your friends' characters in your campaign. They have their master tier subscription plan for DMs in which all their digital books are shared with everybody in the campaign. They put them on, it's awesome. Go to dndbeyond.link/master if you want to learn more. For the next batch of announcements, Marisha, you have some things to discuss. MARISHA: I do, that's me! Thank you so much for joining us live on Twitch and YouTube. To join our live and moderated chat, head on over to our Twitch channel. Yeah. Also, hot off the presses, the content presses. Our newest episode of Crit Recap Animated summarizes the Mighty Nein's adventures from campaign two, episode nine through episode 16. LAURA: (impressive belch)
MARISHA: It's out on YouTube. Nice. Stick around during the break if you want to watch the episode. We're going to air it or go check it out. Also, I never do this. So I never ask, go like and comment and share Crit Recap Animated, because the YouTube algorithm... The YouTube algorithm. Next--
(laughter) MARISHA: -- is Narrative Telephone is back next week, with a story by Travis Willingham and special guest good friend of the
Crit Role team, Aabria Iyengar. (cheering)
Joining us. Legendary dungeon master, she's awesome. Catch the stream on Tuesday, April 20th at 4:00pm Pacific on Twitch, and look out for the VOD on YouTube Thursday, April 22nd. TRAVIS: Yeah!
ASHLEY: Woo! MARISHA: Content! MATT: There you go. MARISHA: Done. MATT: Thank you, Marisha. And for our final announcement for tonight, Ashley Johnson, if you don't mind. ASHLEY: Ooh, hello!
LIAM: Oh shit! TRAVIS: Let's go! ASHLEY: So today you may have noticed, we launched a brand new fundraising campaign with our longtime friends, 826 LA. (cheering) As a quick refresher, for some of you who may not know: 826 LA is a non-profit organization dedicated to sharpening writing skills and unlocking creativity in students from underserved areas here in Los Angeles, and we've been working with these wonderful folks over there, since I guess, the very beginning of our streams, and we're excited to continue to support the wonderful and incredible work that they do. So here's the nitty gritty. Together, we hope to build out a writer's room for students at Venice High School, which is
a Title I school here in Los Angeles. And writer's rooms are crucial areas
in schools that allow students to further develop writing skills and seek mentorship as they prepare to apply to and head off to college. This will be 826 LA's third writer's room here in Los Angeles and if we are able to hit our goal of $150,000, the room will open in spring 2022. So this is a wonderful opportunity for us to join forces for good once again, and create a meaningful and long lasting impact in the lives of many young people for many years to come. So head on over to criticalrolefoundation.org to learn more and to donate, right now! SAM: Do it!
TRAVIS: Woo! MARISHA: It is great because today you're dressed like a creative writing professor. (laughter) TRAVIS: Did you read The Great Gatsby? ASHLEY: You can also crochet some sleeves on your-- No. TRAVIS: Philip K. Dick is my hero. MATT: Fantastic. Thank you, Ashley. And thank you everybody for your amazing support of these charitable endeavors and your support now of 826 LA and all the incredible work that they do. So appreciate that. Without further ado, I think that finishes our announcements. Let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role. (water bubbling) (thunder rumbling) (explosion) ♪ Role ♪ ♪ Critical Role ♪ ♪ Critical Role ♪ ♪ Mighty Nein, Mighty Nein ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Roll the dice, dice, dice ♪ ♪ The adventure begins ♪ ♪ They were always beside you ♪ ♪ Your nerdy best friends ♪ ♪ And the DM to guide you ♪ ♪ And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead ♪ ♪ Villains beware 'cause you're about to be dead ♪ ♪ They got magic and flair ♪ ♪ They got falchions and cunning ♪ ♪ They don't see over there ♪ ♪ There's a monster incoming ♪ ♪ Inspiration is waiting ♪ ♪ Rise up, don't think twice ♪ ♪ Put your fate in your hands ♪ ♪ Take a chance, roll the dice ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪ ♪ Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪ ♪ Can you answer the call? ♪ ♪ Diggin' deep in your soul ♪ ♪ As the legend unfolds ♪ ♪ Now it's your turn (your turn, your turn) ♪ ♪ To roll ♪ (flames whooshing) MATT: And welcome back. So last we left off: The Mighty Nein have trekked back to Eiselcross. You've conscripted the aid of your longtime ally, the Shadowhand, Essek Thelyss, to join you into the ruins of the ancient magical city of Aeor proper. Upon arriving, you inspected some of the space within. You set a trap for the Tomb Takers and successfully managed to ensnare them, killing three, and the only remaining members being Lucien and Cree. In this climactic moment, as you rushed in to finish them off, once and for all, the last trick up their sleeve allowed Cree and Lucien to escape, shunting themselves past the tunnel that you were safeguarding, and collapsing it behind them via some sort of magical quake. You had just finished killing off the remaining members of the Tomb Takers that lie there, bleeding and unconscious. But as you take a moment and watch the dust settle, the rumbling fade, and you all look at each other in the low light, feeling the immensity wash over you of what just transpired, we come into tonight's game. So what would you like to do? ASHLEY, MARISHA, and LIAM: (sigh) MARISHA: Is anyone crazy hurt? SAM: Oh god. Oh god. MARISHA: Anyone get hit? TALIESIN: Anybody? LAURA: I mean, I'm still hurt from the frost giants. MARISHA: Yeah. SAM: They <i>just</i> got away, right? LAURA: They <i>just</i> got away. The rubble is is literally in front of us right now. SAM: Should we pursue or anything? LAURA: I mean, we should probably get all these rocks out of the way or something. TRAVIS: I'm sorry I didn't wake you up sooner. I was hoping that we would have more time for a rest, but they were on us, and I chose to let you sleep, I'm sorry.
ASHLEY: It's okay. SAM: Did the guards warn us? TRAVIS: They did. SAM: Oh. TRAVIS: They communicated with Essek. I thought there might be more time. LAURA: We needed it. TALIESIN: We still need it. MARISHA: I know, we're so close. TRAVIS: But if we're going to follow them, we should try and make up ground, yes? LAURA: Yeah. MARISHA: It's going to take some time to clear this. Also, we did just do a heavy number on them as well. TALIESIN: I think we call this and take the win. Last time we tried this idea of running them down, it didn't go well. TRAVIS: That's true.
LAURA: But what? We call this? What do you mean? TALIESIN: We sleep and we pick up-- Well, I have an idea. I do have an idea, but we need to sleep.
LAURA: Well, then say it! LIAM: Yeah. TALIESIN: I should show it. It's hard to explain. SAM: Oh.
TRAVIS: Go for it. TALIESIN: But it's--
SAM: Show it? TALIESIN: It's in the city. It's something I found in the city. I have a weird idea. LAURA: Well, we have to get through the rubble in order to get there. TALIESIN: Well, we're going to have to-- before we sleep, I think we're going to have to get in there, because that might be the place. LIAM: Are these two on the ground, they're breathing? They're dead? MATT: If I recall, before we finished last time, you finished off the remaining members, yeah. LIAM: Okay. ASHLEY: Is there any-- maybe any reason why we should take one of their heads or anything to talk to them later? LIAM: Yes.
TALIESIN: Absolutely. TRAVIS: I think we popped off, well-- ASHLEY: Did we already do this?
TRAVIS: We definitely popped off-- LIAM: Otis'. It's smaller, it'll travel easier. ASHLEY: That's right. TRAVIS: The other two, we just dispatched, but I don't know if we-- (laughter) TRAVIS: It's the cake. (grunts) (laughter) We could take all three. (sword unsheaths) ASHLEY: I'll volunteer. MARISHA: Might not be a bad idea. TRAVIS: You take one, I'll take the other? ASHLEY: All right. TRAVIS: Yeah.
(sword swings) LIAM: Once we have time to rest, I can put them in the amber, if we prefer. LAURA: We're going to rest? They could get all the way to the city. They could bring it back while we're sleeping. TRAVIS: Don't we need to know where they're going in the city that you flew over? TALIESIN: We do. MARISHA: I do think it's smart for you all to get a rest at some point in time. LAURA: Well, yeah, I can do nothing. TALIESIN: If we find them, what can we do, other than yell? LAURA: I mean, they're pretty hurt, too. Maybe we all just beat each other silly while we're bleeding to death. TALIESIN: I think their hurt and our hurt are a world of difference right now. LIAM: You got a better look at them. They are both hurt? TRAVIS: It looked like Cree had been more banged up than Lucien and got them both out at the same time. But again, if they're on the other side of that rubble, and if they're going into that city and we don't know which house, or which wall, or the secret area, we're going to be lost, unless we have a way of tracking them that I'm not aware of? MARISHA: That's an excellent point. Do we have any way? LAURA: If we sleep, I'll be able to track them. TALIESIN: With sleep, I can track them, too. MARISHA: What is your plan? Because we can't get through the city now. TALIESIN: So if we get back in there, I found this amphitheater, theater of some kind, filled with corpses. They were watching this person who was on stage, who, I don't know, had an air of power. They were frozen in those bubbles, the way that some people are. I think this person might've been fighting whatever happened. Maybe if we wake them up, we might have an ally in finding a way to stop this. It might be crazy. I was going to maybe talk to somebody in the crowd to see if they could tell us who this person is. It might be someone who can help. LAURA: Oh, yeah. That's smart.
MARISHA: We tried to dispel it before, though, didn't we? TALIESIN: We have help now. LAURA: That's true. Essek might have a better idea of what to do. I'm pulling rocks, looking for loose rocks that-- MATT: All right, so as you guys head back into the tunnel, Essek's like, "Well, obviously I was extremely capable "of dispelling that thing that was on your chest before." LAURA: I did that, Essek. MATT: "I realize that. "That's the point. I was being sarcastic." LAURA: Oh, okay, I just wanted to remind you. MATT: "I appreciate that. "But nevertheless," and you see, as he starts putting his hands out in front like this, like he's soft throwing objects forward. You watch as rocks start (rumble) coming out as he's just plucking them as he pulls the gravity from them, aiding you as you guys go along, he's-- LIAM: How thick does this look? MATT: You can make a perception or investigation check. LIAM: Yeah, I'll investigate it. SAM: I'm going to try to dig through and retrieve my unspent Fluffernutter. MATT: Okay, go ahead and make an investigation. LAURA: I'm pulling from the top so that we could potentially just move the top layer of rocks and crawl through. MATT: Okay.
LAURA: So we're not trying to clear the whole fucking tunnel. MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: Hurt Locker. MATT: Glancing through, this hallway that you guys traveled through is pretty well-reinforced on the sides, and elements of it did hold pretty well. This quake definitely found the weak parts, and the elements that did collapse, you can see there are probably two batches or two sections of about 10 feet, that are more or less fallen in, of loose rock, some larger than others, but it's not an extensive cave in. It's hard to say how long it'll take, but if it's all hands on deck, it may be quicker. LAURA: If we're pulling rocks and
they've fallen from way above, it's a potential that the entire ground could collapse on us and kill us all, right? MATT: It's possible.
LAURA: Cool, cool, cool. Cool, cool, cool. ASHLEY: I'll help as well. TALIESIN: Who's hurt, by the way?
MARISHA: Yeah, same. TRAVIS: I'll keep going. LAURA: I mean, I'm down. I'm down. LIAM: A little bit.
MATT: All right. Everyone's helping. I'd like everyone to make an athletics check for me as a group. LAURA: Guidance. MARISHA: Okay. TRAVIS: 11. MATT: All righty.
LIAM: 15. LAURA: 18.
MATT: 15. 18. SAM: 12.
MATT: 12. ASHLEY: 14.
MATT: 14. TALIESIN: Seven.
MATT: Seven. MARISHA: 25.
MATT: 25. LIAM: Except for the legs. MATT: It takes a little longer than you had maybe hoped, but you do manage, within the next 15, 20 or so minutes, to pull enough rocks free of that first section that there's enough space to crawl through and not feel like you're going to shift loose any additional load-bearing portions of the rock above you. And you can see there's a small pocket above, where one of these heavy pieces of shale shifted a bit and was leaning inward, but, thankfully, you could probably make it through okay. As you crawl your way through that first batch, Essek glides through and then reaches out and pulls out something, and clutches it near his face. "It's Dagen." (gasping) TALIESIN: (deep exhale) MATT: "Right. "Yes, head back and let them know. "Thank you. "There are some rangers lost, many injured, "but there are some survivors. "That was their warning call to let us know "that the Tomb Takers were coming." SAM: So they're okay? MATT: "Some. "Dagen seemed a little worse for wear, "but he was speaking at least." LIAM: Well, there's no choice but to go forward. SAM: Should we get the rest of them down here to help us? MARISHA: Might just be best for them to head back, relay the message. SAM: Okay. TRAVIS: Yeah. MATT: All right. For the second passage, everyone please make one more athletics check. TRAVIS: Come on, man. Much better this time. LIAM: Three. TRAVIS: Yes. 24. LAURA: Nine. MATT: Three.
SAM: 15. ASHLEY: 19. TALIESIN: Natural one for five. MARISHA: 24. ASHLEY: (sighs) SAM: Not great. MATT: This one takes a little longer. Roughly 25 minutes, and a couple of precarious moments where you pull one rock free, and a few more slide back in, and everyone freezes for a second, afraid that the next collapse is going to happen. And then one by one, carefully find the looser bits, and then open before yourselves a passage where most of you can travel through comfortably, couple of you not as comfortably. But eventually you climb through the opposite end. Right about where that bend at the top of the incline was, you can see there is the bridge board that went across. It has fallen somewhat in, but it can be readjusted and placed back. No, that was the rope you guys had placed. TRAVIS and LAURA: Mm-hmm.
MATT: That's right. But you had taken the rope. MARISHA: We left the rope. LAURA: We did leave the rope.
MATT: You did leave the rope? LIAM: Used the rope to lower down. MATT: Correct, so the rope would still be there, though a large portion of it is currently-- LIAM: Buried.
MATT: -- buried. But it is still a taut rope across the way, so. MARISHA: I'll Naruto run across. MATT: Easy enough for you, Miss Beauregard. With your help and with the rope taut, we'll say, for the ease of time, carefully, you make your way across. SAM: I will Beau-ruto run across. MARISHA: Mm, that's better.
TRAVIS: Wow. MATT: You feel a little shown up by the next generation, I'm sorry. MARISHA: Yeah, yeah. (laughs)
(laughter) LIAM: They're very similar, though. Very, very similar. TRAVIS: I will Zetsu climb up. (laughter) MATT: Well, you eventually reach the end of the tunnel and it opens up once more into the ward where you've previously been, the same darkened, massive chamber before you with the various glowing pin lights of color in the shadowed distance. The neighborhood lies before you. What would you like to do? LAURA: Is there dust on the ground? Can we see footprints that they've left? Anything like that? MATT: You can make an investigation check, if you'd like. TRAVIS: Do we check for traps or anything? No booby traps? SAM: Oh, because they were here. LIAM: <i>Ja</i>.
TRAVIS: I think they were probably moving. LIAM: An hour ago they were here. SAM: Yeah.
TRAVIS: An hour ago. SAM: Have we walked through the threshold into the vast chamber of the city, or? MATT: You are at the threshold currently. SAM: I'll just scan around the threshold, see if there's anything up, or on the sides. Traps. TRAVIS: Giving us a taste of our own medicine.
MATT: Looking for traps? Perception or investigation, your call. LAURA: 24.
SAM: 23. MATT: All right. You do not see any traps. You do see signs of travel, not because there are any footprints necessarily that kept your attention, but because there are some fresh dots of blood. MARISHA: Blood? Oh. ASHLEY: Okay. TRAVIS: They bleed. SAM: Well, can we follow these dots? MARISHA: Up until she heals herself, I guess. But yeah.
SAM: Sure, let's do it. MATT: All right. Who wants to lead the tracking? This would be survival-based. LAURA: Hold on.
TRAVIS: Not it. LAURA: My survival's pretty decent. MARISHA: Mine's okay. Plus four. LIAM: Mine is too, and I will, if you're all good with it, I will cast Detect Magic as well and try to search. MATT: Certainly. Okay, searching for? LIAM: Their direction to follow along as far as possible, while also, for at least the first 10 minutes, seeing if any kind of glyphs or wards, taste of our own medicine, like you said, is waiting for us. MATT: You've got it. LAURA: Probably still be pretty quiet as we move through here. MATT: Okay. As you expand your consciousness to reach for anything arcane around you, what'd you roll? LIAM: 11.
MATT: 11, okay. You feel pretty confident. Where are you guys heading within the ward? LAURA: We're following the blood. MATT: Okay. You continue along, and you rolled what for survival? LAURA: I didn't roll for survival. MATT: Oh, then you should roll for survival now, or whoever's helming that, I should say. SAM: The blood check, unless-- Wait, Caleb, were you doing it? LIAM: I thought I was. I thought that's what the 11 was.
LAURA: 23, 24. No, way higher than that. MATT: Okay, I will say. Were you both rolling, or were you--? LAURA: I thought you were rolling
for Detect Magic. I didn't realize-- LIAM: There is no rolling for Detect Magic. LAURA: Oh.
LIAM: It just does it. MATT: Right, okay. And you rolled one die? LAURA: I rolled a 19, plus four, plus five. MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: 28. LIAM: I like that number. MATT: Pretty good. So between the two of you, keeping an eye out and carefully watching, the blood trail is not extensive, but it is fairly consistent for a bit. Meaning about every 30 or so feet you can find a sign of some sort of additional blot, scattered bit, fresh enough to the point where it's still wet. You begin to make your way steadily through the ward, and you can see it begins to dive off the main road and off a bit, continuing on for another 10, 15 or so minutes. And you begin to find yourselves deep, deep in the Praesidis Ward. Glancing around, the air still has that tense silence to it. That stillness where your ears, aside from the sound of your very careful footsteps, occasionally you stop and listen, it's almost oppressive how quiet it is. Pressing in on the eardrums. And you continue.
Are you going carefully? LAURA: Yes.
LIAM: Caduceus, when you took your little trip around, was there a passage in the direction generally that we are headed in? TALIESIN: I don't think I saw any passage. MATT: You didn't go far enough. TALIESIN: Are we heading in the direction of the colosseum? MATT: Loosely.
TALIESIN: All right. MATT: Yeah, it's a little bit of a side path, but it's kind of in the direction you're going currently, yeah. TALIESIN: Never got far enough. LIAM: Okay. TALIESIN: This place is big.
LAURA: We should move stealthily. LIAM: <i>Ja</i>.
MATT: All right, so this will be slower travel, but I would like everyone to make a stealth check, please. LAURA: I'm going to give you Blessing of the Trickster. TRAVIS: Oh, thank you. LAURA: That gives you advantage. TALIESIN: (blows raspberry)
LIAM: Come on, Colville die. TALIESIN: Fuck me.
TRAVIS: That's a good thing. First one was a three. Second one's a natural 20. LAURA: Yeah! MATT: Nice, so a total of? TRAVIS: 20. (laughter) MATT: Jester?
LAURA: 18. MATT: 18. LIAM: 12. SAM: 34. ASHLEY: Nine. MARISHA: Nein!
TALIESIN: Four. MARISHA: 21. LIAM: I get second-hand adrenaline
from those rogue rolls, man. MATT: That 20 may have saved you all. MARISHA: Yeah, no shit.
TRAVIS: Blessing of the Trickster. MATT: Careful as you go, occasionally a few of you begin to stumble or step into some loose rubble, and as it's about to crack, a hand reaches out and grabs you, helping you steady, preventing you from falling and causing a ruckus. You continue onward, following the intense, dark-cutting eyes of Jester, who follows the blood trail. (laughter) MATT: Continuing on--
ASHLEY: Good investigation face. Look at her. She's so focused.
TRAVIS: Love that your glasses fogged up right when you did that.
LAURA: I know, I can't-- I just want to drink the tea and I can't. LIAM: How long has it been, roughly? MATT: Since the battle?
LIAM: Since we start-- No, no, no, no. Since we started tracking the blood. MATT: Since you started tracking it? It's been about, I'd say, at the pace you're going, 15 or so minutes. LIAM: I'm going to throw up Detect Magic again. MATT: Okay. TRAVIS: Total time since we separated is an hour and a half? MATT: Approximately, yeah.
TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: With the time it took you to take out the rubble. LIAM: First rubble was 15-ish minutes. Second was 25-ish.
MATT: Correct. TRAVIS: 40, okay. MARISHA: Are the blood splatters still a consistent size or are they diminishing? MATT: At this moment, they seem consistent and it's enough where you could tell there was a brisk pace being taken. MARISHA: Yeah. TRAVIS: It's also hard to know if it's from a wound or are they using the blood to heal themselves? MATT: It's hard to tell with these two. TRAVIS: Fuck.
MARISHA: Yeah. LIAM: It could even be--
MARISHA: A honeypot. LIAM: It could even be-- yeah. TRAVIS: Yeah. MARISHA: It's their leading us off course. I guess I'll track that, too. While Jester's following the blood trail, can I just track footsteps and see footprints, if there's any type of looking like they've covered their tracks. Just keep an eye out for any funny business. MATT: Okay, make a perception check. MARISHA: Not investigation? MATT: In this instance, this is a quick glance as you go. This isn't a stop and carefully spend five minutes in the dust. You guys are moving forward, unless you'd like to stop. MARISHA: I should just feed into perception. 18. LIAM: That's pretty good.
MATT: 18's pretty good. MARISHA: It's pretty good. MATT: Okay. The footprints that you can now begin to make out, as opposed to the previous entrance to this ward, there's now a lot more rock, rubble, dust, and just general debris around where you can make out where the footsteps near this trail are, and it does appear to be a fairly elongated gait. There is a haste in travel. You do not think that they've stopped or have taken care in guarding their path, from what you can tell. MARISHA: Okay, okay. MATT: We're a few minutes away from-- you can just begin to see at this distance at a bit of the glow, the massive shape of the amphitheater that you had previously arrived at within this ward. TALIESIN: Is it worth stopping to
see if we can get some help? LAURA: I mean, how far off the path is it? MATT: It'll take you maybe five minutes to run there. LAURA: (uncertain noise) You're great. We could get to the amphitheater and get back to this exact spot, because you'll be able to find the way. LIAM: Absolutely, but I wonder, we're talking about taking a rest, and we're following a fresh trail, we think, if they're not fucking with us. Do we stop and detour to try to enlist the dead, or do we try to follow this trail as long as it is fresh? Even if we know we are going to try to rest relatively soon, I don't know. I'm just--
MARISHA: Even if we could just get a general direction to where, if we get on the path and we know that that is the direction they're for sure headed. LIAM: That's what I'm thinking is if we just go a little, not abandon the amphitheater, but if we follow a little bit further, and maybe can ascertain where, from this massive chamber, wherein they're going. TRAVIS: Yeah. LIAM: And then we know we're stopping anyway, so. LIAM: If one of the other Tomb Takers happens to know where they're going, we can always ask. LIAM: Right.
LAURA: Oh, that's true. MARISHA: That's true. TRAVIS: Time totals on needing to talk to a dead head is instantaneous? TALIESIN: Pretty much. Yeah. TRAVIS: And Dispel, and anything else we would try on the blue globule is instantaneous? Okay. TALIESIN: We'd want to talk to somebody
in the crowd to make sure that this wasn't a problem. LAURA: A bad guy?
TRAVIS: Right. TALIESIN: Bad guy. TRAVIS: Sabotage from the inside. Also, don't want to let out, like,
a super powerful wizard from a thousand years ago,
but I'm sure that's not the case. TALIESIN: Maybe, you'll see. LAURA: They're probably not all like Halas. TRAVIS: Probably. (spookily) Mostly. TALIESIN: Mostly. SAM: So we all keep pursuing? LAURA: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Yes, for now. LIAM: I think we should.
TRAVIS: Yeah, Caleb has it right. LAURA: Yeah. SAM: All right. Follow the blood. LAURA: Keep following the blood. LIAM: And I'll have Caduceus point
the way to the amphitheater, so that I know, using Keen Mind, where we are now, where it was, and I can probably do the math later. MATT: Okay.
LIAM: You've got a triangle. TALIESIN: It's not hard to spot.
LAURA: We can see the dome, too. MATT: It's fairly large compared to a lot of the surrounding buildings. It's just at certain angles, because it's so dark in here, there is no skyline of the buildings. So only at certain points, do some of the lights pass by or around the shape to where you can make it out, but beyond those moments, it just blends in with the rest of the darkness of the cavern. The city just kind of appears in shapes as you move and it vanishes. So, continuing onward, for about how long do you want to follow? LAURA: I don't-- SAM: Do we reach-- I mean, forever. MARISHA: Yeah.
SAM: As long as we get to the end of the city. TRAVIS: Like a thousand feet.
LAURA: Yeah. I think we want to know where we're going pretty much, so we'll follow it as long as we can. LIAM: Right.
MATT: Okay. LIAM: And if we stumble upon them, we still have numbers. TRAVIS: We do. LIAM: I'm not completely tapped. Does anybody have any reserves left? TRAVIS: Yes.
LIAM: You, you? LAURA: Yeah, Caduceus has a lot of spells left, I think. TALIESIN: Yeah, but it's all, I mean, I didn't come in here looking for a fight. If we get into one--
LIAM: Understood. TALIESIN: -- I can just keep some of you-- LIAM: It's just if we step on a bear trap, I mean, you know?
TRAVIS: Yep. TALIESIN: As long as it's not me. LAURA: I've got some low levels. LIAM: Okay. All right, let's push forward and see if we can figure out if they're trying to exit out the side of this space or down a hole. MATT: Okay. I would like you to make another survival check. LIAM: Can I assist her, as I am detecting magic? MATT: If you'd like.
LIAM: Just roll an advantage, girl. LAURA: 20.
MATT: 20. Okay, the path is a little more challenging to continue following. The blood trail begins to thin, and about 10 more minutes forward, you notice the path is bending a little bit to the right. The darting between alleys, between structures, it's not a continuous forward motion, it's tending to curve in a somewhat right-hand direction, which, Caleb, you would know would be more of a southern direction from where you were facing as opposed to going the kind of eastern path that you all were originally heading. LIAM: Right. And I, because of the feat, know where north is always, so I'm a little GPS.
MATT: Exactly. But eventually that blood begins to fade, and it comes to a stop, right next to a different building to the left of where you're standing. It was once probably an incredible, multi-tiered, opulent temple-like structure, but it now stands at a very precarious angle. It looks like the majority of it is fallen in on one side and is leaning slightly to a left, in a Leaning Tower of Pisa kind of way. Though, structurally much more damaged. And it is sitting within a deeply fallen sinkhole. About 20 or so feet beneath, it has pushed into the ground and then fallen to that side. Surrounding it, you can see numerous deep cracks that spiral up around from the base of where it currently stands, and sundered grounds of earth and trees and bits of garden that have fallen the sinkhole, where all the greenery now lies gray and pale. But you do see an opening into the structure. LIAM: Is it petrified? MATT: Well, as I've learned, petrified does not mean what I thought it meant my entire life, as was clarified on Twitter for me. SAM: Twitter is the best. MATT: Exactly. You learn forcefully.
SAM: It's like science class. MATT: No, thank you. LIAM: "I like chocolate." "Vanilla." MATT: Yep. (laughs) MARISHA: A dictionary that tells you when you're wrong. MATT: The plant life does not appear to be alive, and has lost its color, but you are not close enough to fully inspect-- LIAM: Okay.
MATT: To get any sort of sense of what its current state is beyond the pale coloration of the leaves, and the bark, and other garden elements.
LIAM: And did you say that the blood, that the trail is leading to this? MATT: It's adjacent to it. LIAM: Adjacent. SAM: And the leaves are on the structure? MATT: They're in the sinkhole based around it, like it was sitting in this slightly circular garden courtyard, and then it all fell in about 20 feet, and the temple (rumbling crash) fell to the side slightly. SAM: Should we go take a look at the petrified plants or what's inside that temple thing? LIAM: Only if we think they went in here. Can we take a closer look and see if turned off towards this?
SAM: Jester, did they? LAURA: I mean, this is where the trail ends. They could've wandered off that direction, they could've have gone in the building. LIAM: So it's just evaporating here, the trail? MATT: You know the direction it's going, but at least the blood, which is what you've been primarily following this entire time, has come to a halt. MARISHA: Are there footsteps heading into the temple? MATT: You want to go ahead and make a perception check? MARISHA: I do. LAURA: I'm going to Guide you.
MATT: Or investigation. LIAM: I'm going to investigate. I'm going to search.
MARISHA: I can investigate this one? MATT: Are you taking a moment to-- MARISHA: Yeah, I'll take a moment.
MATT: -- to carefully look around, it you want to. LAURA: I'm going to just give you lots of pats and one of them is going to give you Guidance. MATT: This does take time, but yes. MARISHA: Okay. Investigation. Guidance has plus four? TALIESIN: d4. MARISHA: Okay. MATT: Perception is a quick glance, investigation is on the ground. MARISHA: 21. LIAM: I looked as well. MATT: Like Rick Moranis-ing from Honey I Shrunk the Kids. TRAVIS: Yeah.
MATT: Just pouring through the grass. TRAVIS: Like Hammock Rick.
LAURA: Like, yeah. I love that. MATT: Sorry, what were you saying? LIAM: Oh, I said that I looked as well and rolled a 24 for investigation. MATT: Okay, and? MARISHA: 21.
MATT: 21. Okay. TRAVIS: Honey I Shrunk the Kids. LAURA: That movie's so good. TRAVIS: That magnify. MATT: You can see footprints. Because there isn't a lot of weather in here, it's a little hard to tell which have been long trekked, versus what is fresh. The fresh blood trail was what was really guiding you as to what was new and what was uniquely recent. There are numerous footprints in the region. There are some that head around to where the structure is, some that continue on the path where you guys were currently walking, some that bend back this way. And you do also continue to find more and more mummified bodies that are now strewn out in the sides of the street. Probably a little more dense than some of the previous roads you were traveling. So you find footprints. LIAM: Yeah. TRAVIS: Someone goes in the building, someone lights up the hole? MARISHA: Yeah, because if they're
camping right inside or something. LIAM: Yeah, either they passed this or perhaps this thing is sunken in, it could be that there is a passage down under this place, yeah? MARISHA: That's what I was thinking as well. LIAM: Yeah, yeah.
TRAVIS: Because it doesn't cost anything, I'll use Divine Sense. MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: 60 feet, celestial, fiend, undead. MATT: Okay, and you are encompassing just the space in the road? TRAVIS: Yeah, I'll go right up in between the sinkhole and the building, and just see if there's anything camping out. MATT: You get a very strong sense of something within the structure. LAURA: (gasps) Uh-oh. SAM: Something alive or just something? TRAVIS: Something. Can I tell? MATT: Does it specify that you can tell what the source is? TRAVIS: Can detect good and evil. "Until the end of next turn, "you can sense anything affected by the Hallow spell, "and the location of any celestial, fiend, or undead "within 60 feet that is not behind total coverage." MATT: I will say that it is not behind total cover. You can just faintly make out something in there. TRAVIS: Okay. There is something, I don't know what, inside the building. LAURA: Oh. TRAVIS: Of a celestial, fiend, or undead nature. LAURA: Are there cracks that you could maybe see through on the outside of the building? Like, we could get a little peeksies on the inside without peeking your head in the door? MATT: Possibly. Do you want to do that?
LAURA: Sure. TALIESIN: Are we poking this badger? Okay, we're poking the badger. MARISHA: I think we just want to see what it is. MATT: So you climb down through the sinkhole to go up to the building to look in through one of the holes? LAURA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: <i>You're</i> doing this? LAURA: I already said it.
TALIESIN: Okay. MATT: Okay. So you all watch as Jester begins to skip down into the sinkhole amongst the-- LAURA: I'm not skipping, I'm being careful. TALIESIN: You want a heal or something? Okay, never mind. SAM: You want some help, or are you okay? LAURA: Sure. LIAM: I cast Detect Magic again and follow her down quietly. SAM: Oh good. Caleb's got it. (laughter) Everybody else stay. I'll go, too. LAURA: I'm being careful. MATT: As you're stepping through, it's a softer descent. The ground itself is soft earth and dirt that has been churned and left to rest where it's settled. It's a unique departure from the harsh, dark, broken stone ground you've been walking on for close to an hour at this point, if not more. Soft ground gives way under your weight, and you eventually come to the edge of the structure, and you can see it is intricate in its detailing, these layers, it has this beautiful craftsmanship to the exterior, and the closer you get, the more intricate details you can see carved into the stonework. A bunch of decorative glyphs and writing, though it does not appear to be sentences more than just elements of some of the language you've seen before scattered amongst the temple itself. "The temple." It looks temple-y.
LAURA: Any things we would recognize from words we've already read? MATT: Not in particular, no, but you can make a perception check if you want to peer through one crack that has a slight opening in it to see what's inside. LAURA: (laughs) SAM: It's a locker room, they're changing. LAURA: Is it perception? MATT: Do you have darkvision?
LAURA: Yeah. MATT: Yeah, it's perception. LAURA: 26. MATT: 26, not bad. Glancing inside, you don't see much, but you see a lot of tumbled structure, and fallen shelves and slabs and decoration. It looks like when this temple, the structure, settled, many things from probably higher up and within it fell and collapsed into a central space. And from what you can glance in and see, part of the floor has fallen in as well. From the exterior, it looks like it sustained some damage, on the inside, it looks like it's even more of a mess. LAURA: Do I see any movement? MATT: You do not currently see any movement. LAURA: Do I see any glowies? Anything giving off any kind of light source? MATT: Nope, it is dark in there. You can make out the shape of things with your darkvision, but nothing else is catching your attention through this minute crack. LAURA: It looks like the floor has caved in in there. LIAM: Can I look? LAURA: Yeah, but do you have darkvision? LIAM: I have Detect Magic on. LAURA: Okay. LIAM: Is anything glowing in there to my eye? MATT: For 30-foot range? LIAM: It is 30-foot, yeah. MATT: 30-foot? Yeah. You get a very faint magical aura from within a structure of the rubble down deeper in the floor, like just at the edge of that range. LIAM: Do I get a flavor for what school? MATT: Necromancy. LIAM: Hmm?
MATT: Necromancy. LIAM: Oh, good.
LAURA: (unhappy noises) LIAM: That's my favorite. MATT: (laughs) LAURA: Okay. TALIESIN: Just for fun, I'm going to
step to the edge of this, where everyone else is, and Eyes of the Grave, 60 feet undead. MATT: That you can see? TALIESIN: I will know the location
of any undead within 60 feet that isn't behind total cover or that isn't protected from divination. MATT: Correct. From where you are currently, you don't sense anything. TALIESIN: Looking down, nothing? MATT: Make a perception check. TALIESIN: For fun. 28. MATT: 28. Pretty solid look, though there is no light source inside, and you did not have darkvision. So you need to roll again. TALIESIN: Oh. 29. So 28. MATT: So 28, yeah. Yeah, you glance around, you see the same thing that Jester saw, though it's still hard to make out details with almost no light in there whatsoever. TALIESIN: But the Detect Undead isn't getting any? MATT: Not at the moment.
Not from this perspective, nothing. TRAVIS: That total cover thing. SAM: Okay, okay. Mighty Nein check in. TRAVIS: Yeah.
MARISHA: Okay, huddle up. SAM: Huddle up, huddle up. Something's in there.
MARISHA: Yes. SAM: Probably not the Tomb Takers. LAURA: We don't know.
MARISHA: Probably something bad. SAM: Probably not the Tomb Takers. So we either smartly leave, or we go inside. (laughs) MARISHA: Well--
SAM: Check it out. TALIESIN: Or we play with Plan B. TRAVIS: Do we think the way they went is down through the sinkhole or through the building? TRAVIS: And we have to go through anyway? ASHLEY: We should probably just check. TRAVIS: (laughs) MARISHA: Yasha! ASHLEY: I'm sorry, I just-- TRAVIS: Miss "I want to keep playing some more!" at the end of every game. MARISHA: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Hey man, I'm making up for lost time. TRAVIS: I know it. I know it. LIAM: It's also believable they've been here before--
MARISHA: New "Press the Button" person. LIAM: They figured out how to navigate this place, so if there's dead things down there, it doesn't mean that they didn't go that way. MARISHA: (laughs) SAM: Should we send in a scout, a Frump, or an invisible me, or both? Or should we just go in guns blazing? LIAM: Well, Frumpkin's not going to be able to see anything. LAURA: Oh, because he can't see in the dark? Can you put the goggles on Frumpkin? SAM: (laughs) That would be adorable.
MARISHA: Why have we never tried that? LIAM: Meow!
ASHLEY: That would be very cute. MARISHA: Can we do that? SAM: Does Sprinkle have darkvision? LAURA: But we might lose the--
MATT: You could certainly try. TALIESIN: Mm. MARISHA: I really like these goggles.
LAURA: Sprinkle is a weasel. Weasels don't have darkvision. SAM: Ah. MARISHA: Is there any-- so we're kind of-- LAURA: But zombies do! MARISHA: We're at the end of the road. MATT: The road continues. To the left of the road is this structure. The blood splatters stopped on the road path. There is this massive structure right there, this temple-like tower that has fallen into a sinkhole and turned to its side. It looks like it's about maybe 120 feet from side to side from one edge of the tower to the other, maybe a little bit smaller. And you guys just went through the pale garden portion. You're up against the outer wall. MARISHA: What keeps going? If continued on this road. LAURA: Yeah, if we didn't go down the tower. MATT: The path that you guys were walking, the city path that winds and breaks and is disheveled and uneven in places from the destruction and the impact of the city of Aeor continues on in a southeastern direction through neighborhoods, through structures towards a heavy slate ceiling that descends to clip off the edge of this ward. LIAM: We check it and go,
MARISHA: Okay. LIAM: We've got to check it and go. MARISHA: I mean, if it's at the end of the road. TALIESIN: We could talk to a severed head. LAURA: You can do that right now? TALIESIN: I can do that right now. MARISHA: Do you want to talk to a severed head while Veth and I get to the end of the tunnel and see what it is and come right back? LAURA: The tunnel, you mean the path? MARISHA: Mm-hmm. TALIESIN: You have five questions?
MARISHA: Go up a little bit? ASHLEY: Multitask? MARISHA: Multitask, yeah. SAM: Sure. LAURA: Don't come running back with a monster chasing you. MARISHA: What happens?
LAURA: I have experience with this. It's not good. MARISHA: (laughs) Oh yeah. Heard stories. All right, let's go. SAM: Yeah, you have the goggles still, right? Because I can't see shit. MARISHA: I do still have the goggles. SAM: Okay, cool. MARISHA: And you can be invisible or whatever. SAM: I mean, sure.
MARISHA: If you need to. If we need to. SAM: Then I won't be able to see and you won't be able to see me. MARISHA: Yeah, only if we need to. Only if shit hits the fan.
LAURA: What's the point of you going if you can't see anything? SAM: To protect. (laughter) MARISHA: We should have brought Yasha. Let's go. Let's go.
ASHLEY: Can I go, actually? MARISHA: (laughs) Yeah. SAM: Who's asking? LAURA: Maybe just hold her hand, just hold hands. LIAM: I give her the driftglobe. Don't light it up unless you absolutely need it. But if you start to get eaten, you know, light it up. SAM: Thank you.
LIAM: Yeah. SAM: How do I do it? Is it think of is it a word? LIAM: Yeah, you just think. SAM: Awesome.
LIAM: Yeah. SAM: Let's rumble. MARISHA: All right. MATT: All right, I need both of you to make stealth checks, please. MARISHA: Lucky jade, lucky jade. SAM: 27. MARISHA: 17. MATT: 17, okay. You both continue following the path that you were already traveling in the direction where you believe the blood splatters were headed before they ended. MARISHA: Keeping an eye out for footsteps while we go. MATT: Indeed.
MARISHA: Continue. MATT: We'll get to you guys in just a minute. What are the rest of you doing? LAURA: He's talking to a dead head. TALIESIN: Let's pick a head.
MATT: Okay. TALIESIN: I could use a few more questions if anybody has any. ASHLEY: Which one do you want? MARISHA: Just for fun this time, though. LIAM: Where do you go in the city to access Lucien's goal? How much time does Lucien need to do what he's going to do at destination? LAURA: What do the eyes mean? LIAM: Yeah, that's a good one. LAURA: I don't think he's going to talk to us. TALIESIN: I'll do that one last. LAURA: Or if it does, I don't think they're going to even be aware of-- TALIESIN: There's a lot you can do. TRAVIS: Tyffial was the elf, Otis was the halfling mage, right? You probably want someone with a mind of what the overall plan was in case one knew more than the other. TALIESIN: We'll find out. MARISHA: Who you talking to? TALIESIN: Pick a head. ASHLEY: Yeah, who do you want? LIAM: Actually you have to say--
TRAVIS: That's what I was saying. LIAM: -- "tawaj."
TRAVIS: Do we want to do the elven-- SAM: Tawhaj?
LIAM: Tawhaj. ASHLEY: Who's the third one? TRAVIS: -- archer, or crossbow? The thing, maybe was a ranger?
LAURA: The third one was the goliath. TRAVIS: Zoran.
MATT: Yeah. LAURA: Zoran.
MATT: Goliath, the elf, and the halfling. LAURA: Well, Zoran I do have a good relationship with. LIAM: "Fajar" for Daylight. TALIESIN: I have a plan. I'm going to make myself look like Cree. SAM: Great, got it, giraffe and? LIAM: Owha tagoo siam. ASHLEY: Good idea.
TALIESIN: Weird. TRAVIS: Complete with eyes and everything? Love it. TALIESIN: So we pick a head. LAURA: Well then-- SAM: Which head are you picking? TRAVIS: Otis was the halfling mage, Tyffial was the elven ranger. TALIESIN: I think Otis is the way to go. Unless anyone's got a compelling reason not to. LAURA: If the elf was the ranger, they usually know the path. TALIESIN: Fair point. TALIESIN: Okay.
TRAVIS: Had a crossbow, I'm assuming a ranger thing, so. TALIESIN: I'm going to set that head up. MATT: Which one, the elf? TALIESIN: The elf. MATT: All right, so Tyffial.
LAURA: Is the elf-- SAM: Wait, who's the elf? TRAVIS and MATT: Tyffial.
LAURA: Tyffial. SAM: I thought that was a human. TALIESIN: And I'm going to cast Speak with Dead. MATT: All right. The head itself spattered with its own gore. One of the eyes a little cloudy upon closer inspection to the individual. As you finish channeling the Wild Mother's energy through you to take hold of this no longer warm, breathing body, this head that once housed the soul of this individual. The eyes looking off into the darkness suddenly go over and focus onto you. And the mouth seems to pull into a mild grin. TALIESIN: Do you remember going down and through this tower before? MATT: Make a deception check. TALIESIN: Oh fuck, man. LAURA: Oh no. Can I give-- MATT: You will have--
LAURA: -- give him Guidance? MATT: What's up?
LAURA: Can I give him Guidance? Can I just have my foot touch his foot and give him Guidance? MATT: (laughs) Not for this question. TALIESIN: I was planning on giving myself Guidance, but yeah, I forgot, so. MATT: Yeah, you did. But you do get advantage because you do look like Cree. LAURA: Okay, okay, that's good. TALIESIN: Ooh! Thank god. 20. MATT: 20. One eye kind of twitches for a second. "Not exactly. "Why would we?" TALIESIN: Which way did we go to get to our destination? MATT: Make another deception check.
TALIESIN: Fuck. MARISHA: Come on, come on.
TALIESIN: With advantage? MATT: This one with advantage as well, because you are asking questions that Cree would likely have known, and-- TALIESIN: 23. Hmm. MATT: Nice. Remind me of the question again. It was specifically--? TALIESIN: Which direction-- LAURA: I think you said, which way did we go? TALIESIN: Which way did we go originally to get to our destination? MATT: One eye continues focused on you and the less cloudy one shifts back towards the road where you were already traveling. TRAVIS: Hmm. TALIESIN: Very good. Remember, how long did it take to get there? MATT: Roll another deception check.
TALIESIN: Fuck, man. LIAM: This is good, you've already got creative advantage.
MARISHA: Come on, this is the best lying you've ever done.
TALIESIN: Natural 20. ALL: Oh! LIAM: Shit! TRAVIS: Let's go, Undeadwood! MARISHA: Caddy! TRAVIS: [inaudible] MATT: For a total of? TALIESIN: 23. MATT: 23.
TRAVIS: He lives! LIAM: That elf got big Lebowski'd. MARISHA: (laughs) Yeah. MATT: "Bit hazy, but "about a day or so." SAM: Did he say bidet? MATT: "Bidet." ASHLEY: (like Grog) Bidet. TALIESIN: You're doing so well. How long do you expect the ritual to take? MATT: "I don't know." TALIESIN: And what do the eyes mean to you? MATT: Now make a deception check, last time. LIAM: Come on. TALIESIN: 15. LIAM: Okay. MATT: Both eyes narrow for a second and the head just goes-- (cackles) (louder cackling) TALIESIN: Decompose.
MATT: (gurgles) (laughter) TALIESIN: Well, that was irritating. LAURA: That was so good, Caduceus.
LIAM: That was dope. LAURA: That was the best you've ever lied before. TALIESIN: Thank you. I was thinking instead of lying I was going to try acting, which is kind of-- I mean, they're different, but it feels different. So I was feeling pretty good about that. ASHLEY: Maybe you were shipped to the amphitheater. LIAM: Similar, though. TALIESIN: You know, I was thinking about making some improv if all of this works out. ASHLEY: Oh, fun! I'd like to join. TALIESIN: I should meet some new people. You're all great, but I should probably meet some new people, too. ASHLEY: Well, yeah. SAM: So good at improv. (laughter) TRAVIS: "Yes, and." TALIESIN: No. MARISHA: (laughs) Just stops there. LAURA: Yes, and. ASHLEY: Yes, also. Is that how it is?
TALIESIN: And. (laughter) So that's a little bit of information. LIAM: Yes, that's a lot of information. TRAVIS: They pulled over for a pit stop, healed possibly, and then kept going. They didn't go this way. LIAM: They could have just come within the wall, right? Yeah.
LAURA: Yeah. LIAM: Let's wait for our buddies. LAURA: This is something to avoid. This is something that will just hurt us for nothing. LIAM: Yeah, now cross your fingers they don't wake up-- LAURA: Let's back away slowly from this tower since it does no good. TALIESIN: I still want to go the amphitheater, I'm feeling-- LIAM: I pull out a wire and say: We have very good information that says that this was a pit stop and not the final destination. Please, if you can avoid confrontation, do so. You can reply to this message. SAM: Strong copy unless we're more than 120 feet away. MATT: I'd say, based on the length of that conversation, probably. So you're out of the range. SAM: (whistles) MATT: Stealthily whistling as you travel through the darkness. LIAM: I hit the wire a few times, hello? (laughter) TRAVIS: Oh no.
ASHLEY: Veth, please bring my girlfriend back right now. SAM: Okay. ASHLEY: Probably listen to me. MATT: (laughs) MARISHA: Grandma Yasha. (laughter) MATT: Is there anything else you wish to do while you wait for your compatriots to return, hopefully? LIAM: I'm going to ritual cast Comprehend Languages, so I can read the words that
I couldn't read on this building. MATT: Okay. LAURA: Maybe you can Identify that robe that Yasha brought the whole tower down for. LIAM: Yeah, so Comprehend Languages. MATT: All right. MATT: That takes you 10 minutes? TRAVIS: What are your hit points at now? LAURA: I'm on 116 out of 140 right now. MARISHA: Polyester. LAURA: And I don't have any hit points to regain from the short resting. I've used them all. TRAVIS: I'll cast Cure Wounds at 1st-level, which is just one d8.
MARISHA: Don't get it near an open flame.
TRAVIS: -- plus five. LAURA: Fjord, you don't have to do that. TRAVIS: Yeah, it's a 1st-level spell. I'm not going to really use it anyway. MARISHA: Oh no. TRAVIS: I mean, I probably wouldn't. LIAM: Oh, good roll says D&D Beyond. SAM: Yeah, what the hell? TALIESIN: That would be susceptible to-- TRAVIS: Oh, why did I roll? TALIESIN: -- double damage. TRAVIS: 13. MARISHA: Melts onto your body.
LAURA: 13. TRAVIS: Yeah.
LAURA: Thank you, Fjord. TRAVIS: You're welcome. LAURA: I feel better already. ASHLEY: While we're here--
SAM: (whispers) Make out. ASHLEY: -- do you want me to go in
and check inside the building? LAURA: We're just the worst kissers ever. ASHLEY: That was a joke. MARISHA: They're making out. TRAVIS: Yasha, I think there was
a silver robe inside the building. You should go get it. ASHLEY: I mean, I could keep looking around so I could get one for all of us. TRAVIS: Strangely, it was the other half
of the one that you have, what are the odds?
SAM: Kiss her. LIAM: The power robe. Legendary. LAURA: Seriously though, you should Identify it. She worked so hard to get it. LIAM: I'm one minute into casting Comprehend Languages. LAURA: Caleb, when you're done with this ritual cast, you should really work on Identifying the robe for Yasha because she worked--
LIAM: I'm trying to say the incantations of the spell.
LAURA: -- really hard on getting it. LIAM: This goes to that one and that goes to this one.
ASHLEY: I put the robe on. LAURA: No, what if it's cursed? ASHLEY: Is anything happening? TRAVIS: Wondrous item chill. MATT: Yasha. SAM: Oh.
LAURA: Oh no. MATT: It looks great. (laughter) SAM: You look fabulous. MATT: At least what remains of it. Which actually, in its torn way, it probably was a very subdued, if well-made robe in its heyday. On you, it looks like a cool vintage find that you tore the bottom out of to make it more your style. LAURA: Ooh, yeah. ASHLEY: I'm going to keep it on. Maybe something will happen, you know. LAURA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: They sell those on Melrose. MATT: Yeah. ASHLEY: What's Melrose? LAURA: There's one rip that's just not working with the rest of it. It doesn't look like it goes so I'm just going to use Mending cantrip to just piece this one little part back together. So, you know. ASHLEY: Yeah, that looks way better. LAURA: It looks intentional now, not-- ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah,
like it was supposed to be like this. Thank you.
MATT: Make a concentration check for me. LAURA: Oh. (laughter) MATT: Constitution--
LIAM: Oh, I have advantage on concentration, thank god.
MATT: You do? SAM: In battle. LIAM: Oh, I rolled the same thing twice. 11. MATT: Yeah, you're fine. LIAM: Okay. (laughter) TALIESIN: That was a great pull. LAURA: He's had way worse distractions for his spells, let's be honest.
MATT: It's true. I know, but it's just fun to fuck with him. LIAM: This is why you are so charming. (poofing) MATT: You finish the Comprehend Languages spell. As you glance over at the wall, you begin to notice it's mostly not languages. They're names. Numerous names, hundreds of names lining the edges of this standing structure. SAM: Could be the donors who've paid for it to be built. MATT: Yeah.
MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs) (laughter) MATT: There is the partially broken in heavy doors towards one side, the closest side to you. As you glance over and check it reads as the Aeorian phrase for "Mausoleum of the Forgotten." LIAM: This is the Mark Taper Mausoleum of Aeor. ASHLEY: The Robert Zemeckis Amphitheater. TRAVIS: That would explain a lot. LIAM: Yeah. TRAVIS: Yep. ASHLEY: Mausoleum, what was the other part? MATT: "Of the Forgotten." LAURA: That's really cool. TRAVIS: Well, that's a whole--
LAURA: "Of the Forgotten"? That makes me sad for them. SAM: I'm not there, but-- TRAVIS: Probably don't need to go in. LIAM: It's funny, though,
because the people inside the building are just like all the people outside the building now. TRAVIS: Very true. SAM: "The Forgotten." MATT: Now, Veth and Beauregard-- MARISHA: Mm-hmm. MATT: I would like you both to
make perception checks for me, please. SAM: I'm good at that. With disadvantage? TRAVIS: -- the rest of the city, is it? SAM: Six. MARISHA: Mm! 23. MATT: Okay. As you're both carefully stealthing through, you're getting closer to where the cavern ceiling is descending, where this heavy shelf of stone that is jammed into the city bisecting it from the rest of where you imagine Aeor would continue beyond it. You can see where the earth splinters upward, impacts these rows of jagged miniature mountains that are pushed outward from where it impacts. All of a sudden there's something slick under your foot. Veth.
SAM: Ah! MATT: You look down just as you look over and you don't want Veth to move. MARISHA: Okay, I'm just going to reach down and grab her. SAM: What's going on? MARISHA: I don't know, I don't know. What is it? MATT: You look around and you can see there is a mass of dark blood beneath Veth. LAURA: Uh-oh. MATT: Liquid. MARISHA: What? MATT: And you glance just beyond where Veth was going as you've pulled her back. And you can see there are two large, slumped, unmoving bodies on the ground. Massive bodies. SAM: Oh. MATT: You can see two large, hard to tell details from this side, but it looks like two nude, maybe very faintly furred, bestial, bipedal creatures that are just on the ground a bit from you. And there's just blood spattered and strewn on the ground around you. Where it appears like some sort of conflict had recently happened. MARISHA: And it's super-- can I reach down and touch the blood? It's super warm still? MATT: It's not warm.
MARISHA: Fresh? MATT: But it's certainly fresh. And as you look at it, you have no light source right now. Right? So you have no coloration to ascertain where-- SAM: Do you want some light? MARISHA: Sure. TRAVIS: Yeah.
MARISHA: Sure. SAM: <i>Tawhaj. Tawhaj?</i> <i>Tawhaj?</i>
LIAM: Mm-hmm. SAM: <i>Tawhaj</i>! And I'll light up the thing. MATT: The glow gives off this daylight presence around you.
MARISHA: Daylight! SAM: No, no, no that's--
LIAM: That's <i>fajar</i>. MATT: Sorry, sorry, so just light.
LAURA: Oh my-- MATT: Sorry, sorry.
TRAVIS: Dude, no, no! No <i>tawhaj</i>! MATT: My apologies for not recalling my elven phrases that I handed-- SAM: That's <i>fajar</i>, Matt, I said <i>tawhaj</i>. MATT: You're right, I apologize. MARISHA: We're talking like 10 watts. MATT: Well, this is a Light cantrip, which is the equivalent of torchlight. So it lights up the space around you and you immediately can see the liquid here is a thick, almost purple-black coloration. You do see bits of human red, humanoid red tossed in places and the signs of a serious scuffle transpired here. SAM: Ooh. MATT: But the bodies are still a little ways ahead. SAM: Oh, we're not right on the bodies yet? MATT: No, they're about 10, 15 feet ahead of you. SAM: I feel like we should definitely go back and tell the others, but we should inspect the bodies just to make sure, I don't know, just to know what happened here. MARISHA: I'm fine with that. A little crime scene investigation action real quick. SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah-- ah, man. If only I had Jester here. MARISHA: Oh well-- SAM: You'll do, you'll do.
MARISHA: If only I had Yasha here. What the-- TRAVIS: (laughs) SAM: All right, all right, it's fine. We're an unlikely duo but we'll make it work.
MARISHA: Yeah, we're-- This is the spinoff, okay? SAM: Yeah. Yeah, it's like my partner died at the end of season two or something and you're the new partner. MARISHA: Why death? Why did you have to go there? Just-- she's still alive.
SAM: It's dramatic. It's a dramatic-- seems like a good season ender, I don't know.
LAURA: Because it's foreshadowing, Beau. SAM: Anyway. (laughter) Let's go inspect the bodies. I'm going to go look at the body for signs of what killed it. Was it magic, was it swords, was it-- MATT: Okay. Make a medicine check for me, please. SAM: Oh boy, medicine. MARISHA: And can I see-- SAM: Four. MATT: All right, you have-- SAM: A lot of blood. MARISHA: Uh-huh.
MATT: You can't pick out the specifics of what killed these creatures, but you get the sense there are a lot of heavy slash marks across them. SAM: Sure. MATT: There are shredded ribbons of these creatures. You can see flesh is filleted in places and thrown. And these heavy gash marks, these sweeping blade slices up and across the torso and limbs. Getting a closer look at these creatures, they are built like the most muscular gorilla you've ever seen. And standing would probably be close to nine feet tall, nearly ogreish in physicality. Except their faces are like a bear or a thicker dog-type head. MARISHA: Wow. MATT: The eyes are these pale yellow coloration. And the body is covered in this very fine, deep greenish splotchy fur. SAM: Ooh. MATT: The teeth and the fangs are long and pointed. And the fingers end in these heavy bladed claws. SAM: Dude, that's sick. MARISHA: Yeah. MATT: You've never seen creatures like this before. Thankfully, these two are dead. SAM: These two, there could be more. Or their cries for help could have alerted their, you know-- MARISHA: Mates. SAM: Well yeah, or their pod or whatever-- MARISHA: Their children. SAM: Children. TRAVIS: It's all couples down here. MARISHA: Yeah, just long lost couples. Can I ascertain--
LAURA: Aeor is for lovers. MARISHA: -- which direction-- yes. Take your honeymoon in Aeor.
TRAVIS: This all-inclusive package was bullshit! SAM: There's a kid's club somewhere for monster kids? MARISHA: Yeah. (laughter) MARISHA: Can I see which direction, more blood trail or any tracking of blood in any direction? MATT: Go ahead and make an investigation check. MARISHA: Yeah, investigation!
MATT: Or survival. MARISHA: Or survival, investigation! LIAM: You also know that Caleb got a whiff of necromancy from this location. MARISHA: Okay. Okay, 21. MATT: 21. You can see there is a bit of a trail. It looks like blood mostly from these creatures that continues on for about 10, 15 or so feet following this road. And this road is like a major road where you can see it probably would have connected with any of the other wards of the city. Or it's one of the more central thoroughfare portions of the city's ward. Before it is met with this heavy stone that seems to have bisected the region. SAM: So the road keeps going past this? MATT: Well, the road would continue past if during the impact of the city, a large portion of this cavern didn't collapse into it and jammed--
MARISHA: Cut it off? Can I see, does it look like it drops off? Are there paths carved around this? MATT: You can keep going and looking if you want. MARISHA: Do you want a peek or should we go back?
MARISHA: You do hear at this moment though with your passive perception some movement. MARISHA: Oh. SAM: We could go back and tell the others. MATT: Not quite sure the direction,
but you did hear something. MARISHA: Not quite sure the direction. Does it sound big? Does it sound-- MATT: Make a perception check intentionally if you want to try and listen for a path or some semblance of information about the sound. MARISHA: Ooh, yucky. 13. MATT: Okay. You're pretty sure you heard something. MARISHA: Did you hear that? SAM: No? MARISHA: (uncertain stammering) I think we should go back. SAM: Okay. MARISHA: Okay. SAM: Okay.
MATT: Your orb is still glowing. SAM: Should I turn it off? Caleb didn't tell me how to turn it off. I'll just say the same thing again. <i>Tawhaj!</i>
MATT: (light extinguishing) SAM: Oh hey! Ah! Where'd you go!? MARISHA: (whispering) Wait, right here,
right here, right here, okay. MATT: You hear a little bit more movement. MARISHA: Hold my hand. Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. SAM: Ah! I slipped on the blood. MARISHA: Oh god, I pick her up. LAURA: You're such a dick. MATT: I would like you both to make stealth checks, please. (laughter) MARISHA: Oh!
SAM: 29. MARISHA: 29?! I rolled a 19. MATT: All right. As you both skitter off the road and begin to carefully make your way back. Beauregard, you hear one sound in the distance, back where you guys were. (growls) MARISHA: Did you hear that? SAM: That I heard. MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay, okay. MATT: And that's it. MARISHA: Do you think that's gorilla-dog-man? SAM: Yeah, maybe it's their child. MARISHA: Yeah, sure, or lover. Maybe they were-- SAM: Maybe they had like a polyamorous sort of a throuple.
MARISHA: Yes. SAM: They were a throuple! (gasps) They were a throuple and now one of them is just-- MARISHA: Just by himself. SAM: Or herself or themself. MARISHA: Sure.
SAM: We don't know how it works. MARISHA: Man, that would suck. SAM: It would be. MARISHA: I bet they're very sexually angsty you know. SAM: They're definitely very sexually explorative. MARISHA: Yeah. SAM: This is definitely a sexual creature. I get that sense. It's sex positive creature. MARISHA: I think so. I kind of got that vibe. SAM: I got that vibe. MARISHA: Man. MATT: Roll-- (laughter) LIAM: Have they been eaten yet? MATT: Roll a medicine check, Beauregard. SAM: To see how sex positive they are? (laughter) MARISHA: Just felt a lot of body positivity. I dropped the die. Mm, roll what? A medicine?
MATT: A medicine check. MARISHA: Okay. Wait. I never do this. Oh!
TRAVIS: No, you don't say. You don't do this? MARISHA: 20 total. SAM: Hey, that's pretty good. MARISHA: I rolled really high. MATT: As Veth is saying this, you glanced over. But now that you think about it you don't think either of these creatures had sex organs. SAM: Oh. MARISHA: Definitely sexually frustrated. SAM: Oh, that's-- MARISHA: They don't have sex organs. TRAVIS: Are absent.
SAM That's what it was. MARISHA: Yeah. SAM: You solved it. MARISHA: Man. SAM: You're a good partner. MARISHA: Yeah. I like the spinoff series. SAM: Yeah. MARISHA: Hobbs and Shaw.
SAM: I like how you're whispering and I'm not. MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs) SAM: Let's go! MARISHA: Okay, let's go. (laughter) MATT: Damn good thing you both rolled high stealth, man. TRAVIS: That one drunk friend at
the party that's whispering and you're like, "It's loud in here, "you can talk."
(laughter) MARISHA: (whispering) I'm trying to tell you a secret. TRAVIS: (whispering) I had four. MARISHA: Yeah. (laughter) MARISHA: Why are you whispering? (laughs) Can't hear you over Katy Perry. MATT: Beau and Veth have been gone for approximately 25 or so minutes. LAURA: Jeez louise. MATT: Is there anything you would
begin to do in their absence? TRAVIS: I guess move on without them. (laughter) MATT: Well, it's a shame it had to end here. MARISHA: Well, this thing happened. LIAM: If Jester pesters me and we've got that robe and that much time passes, I'll Identify it. TRAVIS: Yes, please. MARISHA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: For sure. LIAM: I'll Identify it while on Yasha.
ASHLEY: Do I need to take it off? LIAM: No, not at all, just stand still. ASHLEY: I can keep it on while you do your magic? LIAM: Yep, just keep those broad shoulders broad and I will-- Yep, people, please. Okay, just hold it like that for 10 minutes. SAM: Oh god. ASHLEY: Got it. I can do it easy. SAM: Maybe pulse, just pulse. LAURA: I'll do it with her.
ASHLEY: Circles? TRAVIS: Make it burn. LIAM: Okay, just do that for another minute.
MATT: I'm not doing the Tony Horton again. I already did it once, it's a damn pain. You get it once. It is a beautifully sundered Aeorian silk robe that, while not magical, she plays it off pretty well. LAURA: How did that thing last for so long if it's not magical at all? ASHLEY: I think you are wrong. LIAM: Well, look, if you look where you mended it, it says 90% polyester, so that lasts forever. LAURA: Makes sense. ASHLEY: Well, it's a beautiful material, even if it is polyester. LIAM: You can just kind of make out the group of horses on the front of it. It's beautiful. ASHLEY: I like it a lot. I'm going to wear it. MATT: Right about this time, Beau and Veth arrive. LAURA: Did you find anything? SAM: Yes!
ASHLEY: You're covered in blood! SAM: Yeah, well, that happens every time I go anywhere. MARISHA: I just had to beat the shit out of her. I just got to the edge, just couldn't take it anymore. TRAVIS: How did it feel? MARISHA: It felt great. ASHLEY: Lucky!
(laughter) MARISHA: 30 years of build up. SAM: I deserved it,
MARISHA: Yeah. SAM: I deserved it. LIAM: I just leveled up. SAM: I mouthed off a little bit too much. LAURA: What did you find? SAM: I'll keep my fucking mouth shut next time. LAURA: What did you find? SAM: We found-- (laughter) We found two bodies of huge monster sex creatures. And they were dead because the Tomb Takers, specifically we think Cree, eviscerated
them with her blades. LAURA: I thought Cree used magic and Lucien used blades. MARISHA: Yeah, Lucien has blades. SAM: I only focused on Otis. I don't know what any of the other ones do. (laughter) TRAVIS: You've literally fought with Molly. (laughter) MARISHA: She totally came to this conclusion on her own. I did not-- (laughter) SAM: I don't know. I don't know what the other ones do. TRAVIS: Scimitars. Lucien has scimitars. SAM: Lucien does magic and eyes, right? He doesn't need-- MARISHA: I've never seen Cree use a blade. SAM: I thought because she has blood-- LIAM: We have a foot tall toy with swords. TRAVIS: She has a sigil. SAM: He's magic now. He doesn't need the swords. He has the eyes. LAURA: He uses the swords.
TRAVIS: Magic, yeah. LIAM: Yeah, yeah. Remember when they kicked our asses out in the snow? The swords were there. SAM: I can't see a lot, guys. (laughter) Oi! It could have been Lucien, it could have been Lucien. I'm on the fence. Maybe it was both. MARISHA: It was definitely one of the Tomb Takers. It was a fresh kill. There was two of them, lots of blood. LIAM: Wait a moment. LAURA: Tomb Taker blood? MARISHA: Yeah, we saw red blood and purple-y black blood. LIAM: What does she mean by sex monsters? ASHLEY: I was just going to ask. I don't know what that is. SAM: Well--
MARISHA: We're just-- Yeah, we got this vibe. You know we just got this-- LIAM: Of supercharged sex monsters? MARISHA: Yes! LAURA: Were they having sex-- the bodies? TRAVIS: Don't we need to be stopping the end of the world? SAM: We do! We're leaving out
one vital piece of information. Even more vital than the sex part. LAURA: What? SAM: There was a third monster that was still alive. LIAM: Third sex monster?
TRAVIS: And you killed it? SAM: We did not, we ran. MARISHA: We heard it. TALIESIN: Perception check.
LAURA: What did it sound like? TALIESIN: Is there a monster coming for us?
MARISHA: It sounded like-- MATT: Yeah, make a insight check.
MARISHA: (monster noises) MATT: Oh, you're looking for one. TALIESIN: I'm looking for one. MATT: Make a perception check. TALIESIN: Okay. MARISHA: I didn't do a-- SAM: Yeah, it was--
TALIESIN: 26. SAM: It was like an ululation. MATT: With disadvantage because you cannot see in the dark. LIAM: (sings the Trololo song)
SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah, like that. TALIESIN: 17. MATT: 17. You don't see anything at the moment. TALIESIN: Okay. LAURA: So we should head after them? TALIESIN: Or plan B. LAURA: Or amphitheater. SAM: Did you guys go into the amphitheater? LAURA: No. ASHLEY: We were all waiting for you guys.
LAURA: We could've done that. It would've taken a really long time.
SAM: So we're not going in there? We're skipping that? LAURA: I don't know! SAM: Okay, that's fine. TALIESIN: I think it's worth looking at. ASHLEY: The tower? TALIESIN: I mean, at this point-- LAURA: No, the amphitheater. TALIESIN: We hoped we'd catch up at this point. LIAM: Yeah. We don't think they're in here. There's a good chance they slaughtered sex monsters that way and kept going. But we want to look into your idea. TALIESIN: It couldn't hurt to ask. LIAM: An hour, we take an hour to do that. I don't think that tips the balance. And we're going to need to collapse at some time and rest. LAURA: Yeah. SAM: But we know where the Tomb Takers went. They tracked through these erotic orgies and they kept going straight forward. LIAM: Into some sort of Eyes Wide Shut situation further that way.
SAM: Definitely some tantric. ASHLEY: Nine Eyes Wide Shut.
MARISHA: You could just feel the tension, you know. Nine Eyes Wide Shut, that's good! That's great. LIAM: All of Beau and Caleb's eyes open simultaneously. LAURA: So we're going back to the amphitheater? LIAM: Yes.
LAURA: Okay. SAM: To the amphitheater? That
wasn't one of the two choices. LAURA and LIAM: Yes, it was. SAM: We're going to the amphitheater?
LAURA: Yes. SAM: So we're not going into tower? We're not going to chase the Tomb Takers. We're going to a third place? LAURA: We're going to the amphitheater that Caduceus talked about earlier. SAM: No, no, no, I recall. MARISHA: Also, Lucien has swords. LIAM: Pit stop at the theater. SAM: I'll take your word for it. (laughter) MATT: I would like everyone to
make a stealth check, please. LAURA: Blessing of the Trickster. TRAVIS: Thank you. (laughter) TALIESIN: Oh! SAM: 33. LAURA: 25. LIAM: Natural 20. TRAVIS: 14. ASHLEY: 21. TALIESIN: 21.
SAM: Dude. MARISHA: 24.
SAM: Dude! TALIESIN: Whoa!
MARISHA: That's good. MATT: With expediency, and a sense of confidence you Mighty Nein trudge through the shadows and backward towards where you first began your journey into the Praesidis Ward. Until eventually, Caduceus leads you to the exterior of the amphitheater. There are numerous entrances you can see. Large tunnel-like hallways that head towards the center of this presentory locale. And even just stepping close to where this entrance is you could see the dozens of bodies, individuals that appeared to have been running out from this amphitheater that fell dead to the ground. Their bodies dried husks, the flesh withered, mummified, clothing untouched, just stepping over and around them as you make your way to the entrance tunnel to the amphitheater itself. LIAM: Is there any kind of verbiage or signs of any kind on the theater? MATT: How long does that last again? LIAM: An hour.
MATT: An hour? Yes, this is-- let me look at this real fast. LIAM: The Dorothy Chandler Pavilion. MATT: Yeah. (laughs) SAM: Presents: A Charlie Brown Christmas. (laughter) TALIESIN: My god, everything makes sense now.
(laughter) MARISHA: It is fair use. (laughter) MATT: Best Little Harvest Close Pageant Ever. (laughter) TALIESIN: Oh, The Nutcracker. MATT: Praesidis Discussion. Amph-- What's the word, fucking-- MARISHA: Oh, right. MATT: Not amphitheater. MARISHA: No, we got this.
TALIESIN: Colosseum? MATT: Colosseum. MARISHA: You said something before that. LIAM: Discussion, you said? MATT: Yes.
LAURA: Praesidis? SAM: It's the ward. LAURA: Oh. MATT: Looking at the various bits of writing on the walls around, you quickly get the sense that this was a center for political discourse. LIAM: TED Talks. MATT: Kind of, yeah. SAM: Like a salon? MATT: Sure. SAM: Intellectual salon? MATT: Kind of, yeah. TALIESIN: TED Talks. MATT: Stepping through, eventually
you come into the open space where you can see there are
the dull green bits of light, the glowing light sources that are scattered throughout the ward and had been guiding you from element to element as you've traversed through the space. And that bright central blue light emanating from the dome that sits upon the central dais in the center of the open amphitheater. You can just vaguely make out a darker shape in the middle of it. LAURA: Do you want to talk to one of the people here? TALIESIN: Yeah, it was like a priestess inside, if I recall? MATT: It looked like some sort of well-dressed, importantly decorated individual, who was-- TALIESIN: Yeah, was trying to remember how much-- yeah. TRAVIS: As we step into that amphitheater, I'll do a second Divine Sense. Same thing just because the first one got a hit. MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: 60 feet. MATT: Nothing. TRAVIS: Seems clear. TALIESIN: I'm going to check the first few rows for someone well-dressed and with a head that seems relatively intact. LAURA: Somebody that can see the dome that was-- TALIESIN: Somebody with a good view. MATT: Okay. Looking through for just a few moments, you come to near the base of the dais propped up against that or right next to that strange metallic humanoid that you'd come across before. A sight which you figured out all the rest of you had seen, this is the second of these metal armored humanoids that you've come across. There was the first one that was heavily damaged in the chamber you were resting. This one looks to be mostly intact, though it looks like the legs are somewhat damaged, and the chest plate is partially open to the side. But beyond that, they look like they're mostly intact, though still with all the rest of the corpses around. The body next to it, you see, is a similarly dressed, but not well as decorated individual as the one inside the dome. Looks like they had one arm up on the dais and were in the process of going for a run and then just collapsed right into that spot. TALIESIN: All right.
LIAM: Before you do, Caduceus, come here for a moment. I'll pull out this little stone sculpture of a ziggurat I have with little letters and glyphs all around it, and I'm going to cast Tongues on Caduceus. TRAVIS: Smart. ASHLEY: That is so smart. MARISHA: So you can actually talk to him, good idea. TALIESIN: Trying to find my spells. Here we are. TRAVIS: -- too much to have a headache. LAURA: (laughs) I'm sad that cake-- TALIESIN: (blows raspberries) All right, whoa, that's crazy. LIAM: It's a lie. TALIESIN: Let's wake this person up. MATT: Okay, as you kneel down and get close to the body and prop it back against the platform, the raised platform, the body itself, the dust clatters a bit. And you can hear the very fine, fragile, leather-like skin and bone hit the side of the stone and dust rests off of it. The long, stringy, dull white gray strands of doll-like hair that falls past the shoulders, clumps fall free from the mummified scalp. And you get now at this glance, this was likely a half-elf individual. Though the eyes are gone, the face itself is heavily sunken and you could see the teeth are exposed with the lips have curled back tightly. It is a terrifying sight to look into for anybody who isn't familiar with the process of interring corpses of any stage of decay. This is not a bother for you. TALIESIN: Tell me what brought you to the colosseum. MATT: You all watch for a moment. And as Caduceus asks the question, there is a a brief bit of faint greenish light that seems to apparate like a seed in the middle of the air, somewhat translucent. LAURA: Does it look like the little floating lights everywhere around the city? MATT: Not quite.
LAURA: Okay. MATT: This one is comforting, if only because it matches in some ways the ways that Fjord and sometimes Caduceus channel the power of the Wild Mother. LAURA: Okay. MATT: But as he begins to speak, this seed plants itself in the throat of this creature. Kind of fading into the skin. And as it does, the head (gasps) begins to inhale, it leans forward and looks towards you. The black, vacuous sockets peering back into Caduceus. "(gasping) We were here "to beseech Brashaar, "to protect us." TRAVIS: Brashaar? MATT: The rest of you hear (guttural foreign language). TALIESIN: We were here to beseech Brashaar to protect us. I'm going to mimic what he says as he says it. TALIESIN: Tell me about the person on stage. MATT: "Brashaar, "one of the great mages, architect, "and the one of many who put us to this doom." "and the one of many who put us to this doom." TALIESIN: What did she do to you? MATT: "Filled our minds with thoughts "drew the ire of the gods." TALIESIN: What are the Eyes of Nine? MATT: "I have no knowledge of what you speak." TALIESIN: We need to undo this. Where in the city could I find those who opposed this, who tried to stop it? MATT: "Look around you." With that you watch as the face, begins turns to dust and caved in (cracking). SAM: Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play? (laughter) TALIESIN: All right, well, clearly waking this person up would be a bad idea, but now we know. SAM: Oh.
LAURA: Well, it didn't necessarily mean that. It just means that this is one of the great mages that thought they were better than the gods. LIAM: Yeah.
TRAVIS: It seems like the gods delivered that blue dome, though. LAURA: Potentially. TALIESIN: I have a theory on the blue dome. LAURA: What? TALIESIN: I mean, if you were just trying to put yourself into some other space, maybe it's a way of marking who's important, Like in a bad way. MARISHA: Like their psyche is somewhere-- LAURA: Like Yussa? TALIESIN: I just see a lot of... You can look at where you leave a dead body and learn a lot about that person just by how they were treated. And these bodies were treated differently than the others. These bodies were protected and whatever happened here allowed that, I doubt it couldn't have stopped it. MATT: You can see Essek getting
a very close look at this dome. And occasionally running a hand across the exterior. And as he does, you can see all of these fractal patterns of arcane spirals that just appear. Like there's an extra layer of arcana to each of these domes that lays unseen until a practioned magic user knows how to pluck a bit and reveal it. And as he does, Essek turns and goes, "Whatever arcana is protecting these things "is beyond my understanding." LIAM: I'm going to join him at the dome, and I want to get a closer look at this person. So Caduceus, you told us everything that you heard and the Rashad was-- LAURA: This person.
LIAM: The person in the bubble, yeah? TALIESIN: Yes. MATT: That's what it seemed.
TRAVIS: Brashaar. MARISHA: Bashard? MATT: Brashaar.
LAURA: Rashar. TRAVIS and LIAM: Brashaar. TRAVIS: With an R at the end? MATT: Mm-hmm, Brashaar. LIAM: I remember when you described him in the earlier game that they're like this. MATT: Yeah, arms up in a-- like a proclamation or a-- LIAM: Are they casting? MATT: It's hard to tell. If you would like to make a perception check to see if you could peer through the dense shifting of dome-like magical material to see if-- LIAM: Help me take a look at this, please. MATT: (as Essek) "Of course, of course." LAURA: You want me to Guide you, too? TALIESIN: Guide as well. MATT: Both you and Essek are going to go ahead and make perception checks. TALIESIN: With a d4. LIAM: I rolled balls. MATT: So did he. With a d4? Mm-hmm, it helps. LIAM: Seven total. Rolled a three. MATT: 13 For him. LIAM: Okay. MATT: You can make out primarily the same details that Caduceus did. If not as much as he did. You can see the pose, the positioning. At best, you can tell they were, amongst all the corpses that you've come across very well-dressed, a lot of jewelry. Looked to be of very high station visually. And the fact that they are in the middle of this amphitheater, given the context of what you've ascertained of its purpose, of what you learned from the corpse. This is probably, probably a very important political individual within the context of the mageocracy of Aeor. It's hard to tell if they're in the middle of an impassioned speech or the middle of a spell being cast. LIAM: Well so, I don't know, but my suspicion is, put yourself in her place at that time. The building is being thrown down from the sky. What is she doing? Is she giving an impassioned speech to the people telling them to be calm? Is she saving herself? MATT: "It is hard to say. From what I know, "at least from what information has been gathered. "It is said throughout history "that the Aeorian people were very, "what is the word in Common? "Self-focused." LIAM: Exactly. MATT: "So that is to the individual "or to the other people here, "if it was an attempt to save, "that was quite obviously a failure." As he glides around and gestures to the droves of long dead bodies around you. LIAM: I think so, too. I think she definitely wanted to save herself, maybe others, but I don't think these mages disturbed the gods to the point where they threw them out of the sky. TALIESIN: I think these mages created the city. LIAM: Yes. SAM: The other bubbles that we saw people frozen in, were they all mages casting things? LAURA: No, some of them were running. MATT: Some of them seemed to be standard people fleeing. And you found them at different parts of broken ruins across Eiselcross. SAM: It could just be random. LIAM: It could be. We didn't, unless I'm remembering incorrectly, didn't get a sense one way or the other. We weren't even thinking about it really what it could be. So it could have been somebody in that crowd who did that, or it could be an outside force. We don't ultimately know, but my suspicion is that this was a last ditch effort to survive calamity. SAM: Can I scan around the crowd and just see if everyone is the same sort of body type, like everyone's Aeorian? MATT: Make a perception check. SAM: I'm not good at that. Ooh, 14. Okay. MATT: Okay. Glancing around, it's a-- I wouldn't say it's Menagerie Coast or Xhorhasian in its ancestral diversity, necessarily. Primarily human, elf, and in-between, and that's the majority of it. You don't see, at least within the amphitheater or the corpses you've come, across any halflings. You don't seem to have come across any dwarves. It seems to be fairly culturally kept between a human and elven culture. At least this portion of the city that you've been through. And even then, most of the corpses you haven't stopped to inspect thoroughly. A lot of dead bodies like that look the same if you're just walking by in shadow. But at least in the general presence around you with that roll, that's what you make out. SAM: Okay.
LIAM: And what was Essek doing? Was he doing some high level dispelling there? MATT: You're not certain. This seemed to be his version of the Detect Magic, and trying to ascertain the nature of this particular spell, but it seemed far more complex than a simple Detect Magic could read. TALIESIN: The spheres aren't random. LAURA: A little nervous here. We're letting them get farther and farther ahead of us right now. MARISHA: I agree. We're not going to unlock this thing, right? LIAM: But our next step is sleep, isn't it? Or are we going to continue to chase? MARISHA: We've got to sleep at some point. TRAVIS: Well, we do, but I think we to know. We still don't know where they went, just which road they went down. SAM: Also, no matter what-- Well, not no matter what, but if we don't stealth very well in chasing them, we're going to have to fight our way through you know an orgy monster.
MARISHA: Gorilla-dog-troll. SAM: Which I feel like we'll be okay with. I mean, if Cree by herself killed two of them, then probably we can dispatch one without too much effort. MARISHA: Yeah. Okay, well. SAM: So should we do that first before we sleep? LAURA: It's hard because I know I need sleep, but-- SAM: You look fine. LAURA: (laughs) Thanks, I feel tired. But I just feel like, you know-- SAM: You want to keep going? LAURA: Well, they could unleash a whole horrible demon city upon the entire world. So, it feels a little like-- TALIESIN: It's always worth remembering, though, that they could do that, but at the moment, what could you do to stop it? LAURA: I don't know. TALIESIN: I know. MARISHA: And we know we have a day ahead of us, right? TALIESIN: At least. MARISHA: They're going to have to rest, too. Especially if they're continuing to clear the caverns for us. TRAVIS: They are? MARISHA: Why wouldn't they? TRAVIS: I thought they didn't sleep.
ASHLEY: He never sleeps. LAURA: Cree sleeps.
MARISHA: But they have to rest. LAURA: Cree sleeps, Lucien doesn't. MARISHA: Magic-- you know what I mean. Not that I'm a magic user, but even for someone like Cree, it's not a bottomless well. TRAVIS: It's not? I don't know, do we know for sure? TALIESIN: We're pretty sure.
MARISHA: We watched them rest. LAURA: We watched them get injured. MARISHA: We watched them get injured. I think we can continue to follow. The path might tell us when they decide to rest as well. TALIESIN: If something happens right now we're going to be real down on our luck. LAURA: Then we sleep right here. Whatever we do, we need to make a decision and actually do it. LIAM: Well, that's the thing-- (sighs) SAM: How long have we been awake? LIAM: Long time. We did a short rest already. I used all my hit dice. LAURA: We tried to sleep. We didn't get a full rest. MARISHA: Matt, I'm assuming we have to start from scratch with that long rest. SAM: What do you-- what? TRAVIS: We were five and a half hours. MARISHA: Because we were, like, six hours in, so. MATT: You've traveled a bit in-between. I would be willing to say if you wanted to complete a long rest for the purposes of this, if you were to garnish an additional three, three and a half hours, you'd finish a long rest. LAURA: That's pretty cool.
TALIESIN: Oh, I will nap like a beast. SAM: But me and Caleb didn't sleep at all. LIAM: Right.
MATT: Correct, you guys would need a full.
LAURA: Neither did Fjord. Yeah. So the three of you would need a full night. LIAM: I don't want to run into that. TALIESIN: No.
LIAM: With where I'm at. SAM: And dead body said it would take a day, day and a half? TALIESIN: That's what they took last time, so. SAM: So they're going to rest at least once. TALIESIN: Oh yeah. SAM: Maybe? TALIESIN: They know they're going to have to burn through. They don't have us clearing the path anymore. ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.
LAURA: Yeah. They're also moving while we're standing still and talking about this, so-- LIAM: I actually think we should, because I'm not spent, but I will be, I think we should push forward now. Because there could be sex monsters that we're going to have to deal with tonight or tomorrow morning. So it's better that we deal with them on the dregs--
MARISHA: Yeah. LIAM: -- of where we're at. MARISHA: Then fight sex monsters, not first in the morning-- LAURA: Then let's go, let's go now.
TRAVIS: I'm in that boat as well. MARISHA: Okay. SAM: Before we leave, Matt, when you described the stage, it was just the sorcerer on the stage? MATT: There was just the dome on the stage. And then there's the bodies around the base of it. There's that metallic body, it's leaning against the table with the damaged legs. There's the corpse that Caduceus looked in the eyes of and spoke to. And a number of other figures. SAM: The metallic one is, like, an armored thing? MATT: It looks similar to the one that you found in the first abode that you guys rested in, as well as a crushed creature that you found in one of the other ruins near where one of the threshold crests were found. It looks and appears to be human, though this one is even more intricately designed. You can see it's made of this dull, brass-like metal, with intricate filigree engraving across it. with intricate filigree engraving across it. It has no nose, but has a mouth and a jaw-type setup. These open sockets where eyes appear to be within though there's no white or coloration to the eye. Gold trim across it, it looks decorative almost. LAURA: Does it have the power gem on it like the one when we got the threshold crest? That one had like a big ruby on it that we took. MATT: Correct, this one it would be within either its head or its chest, are the two areas you would look for that. LIAM: It's a very advanced-- SAM: I took one from the last one. MATT: Yeah, you took a sphere from the center of the last one. SAM: I'll go just check it out and see if this one has the same thing. MATT: Okay.
LAURA: I feel like if we could figure out how to wake them up, man. MATT: If you glance inside, you can see the chest portion of it is off-kilter. It seemed to have been impacted, and the crushing of its legs, its chest plate split open on the inside. You can see it already has a gem placed in there but it is cracked. LAURA: Hmm, (gasps) put the other one in this one! SAM: Yes, and-- I'm not-- my hands are very good, but do we need some, like, does anyone have any better mechanical knowledge than me? I guess not, right? TALIESIN: Probably not. SAM: Okay. All right. LAURA: I think you're the best. I can assist you. SAM: Sure, you're a medicine woman. LAURA: Uh-huh.
SAM: Yeah. LAURA: I'm good with medicine.
SAM: Want to do a quick heart transplant on a dead robot from a thousand years ago? Cool, all right. TALIESIN: It could go great or terribly. MARISHA: Yeah, I'm here for it.
TALIESIN: All right. SAM: What sort of skill is this? MATT: This-- SAM: Animal handling. MATT: (laughs) So what are you trying to do? You're trying to-- SAM: Cut out the existing sphere-- MATT: Okay. SAM: -- heart thing and replace it with the new one in a similar connection. Are there connections? Is it wires? What is this? MATT: It looks just like a half-dome slot that it slips into. SAM: Oh, so it's not, like, arteries or anything. MATT: There is cabling all throughout the inside, but nothing you're familiar with. This would be just a dexterity check. SAM: Oh, I think I'm okay. LAURA: Give you some Guidance. SAM: Thank you. LIAM: It's Bishop. TALIESIN: Oh Caleb, just a Death Ward (clicks tongue). SAM: Dexterity check. MATT: So just add your dexterity modifier. LAURA: And then add a d4. SAM: Okay.
TALIESIN: You hit zero, you-- LIAM: Okay. SAM: Ah! Not a real roll.
TALIESIN: Just because I'm nervous. SAM: 25. MATT: 25. As you reach in to grab the initial sphere, it would show resistance if you didn't twist it in just the way that you feel it (popping) pop out. As it does, it immediately breaks into three pieces. It just shatters like glass, on the inside of the torso. With that you glance inside and you can see a faint connective, almost like a threaded point. And you take the orb that you found earlier and you can see a similar point there. And as you screw and place it within, you lift up and place it heavily towards where it looks like it slips in. As it does (clicking) and it's there. SAM: Hey, hey. MATT: (mechanical poof) Eyes,
(screaming) suddenly brightly glow a dull blue hue. The arms comes up and you watch as his body begins to convulse and shift for a second. (dish, dish) (thudding). Before all of a sudden (snapping) "(robotic foreign language)" LIAM: You got an hour. MATT: Right, you have an hour. You hear, LAURA: (gasps) MATT: "Hello. "My designation-- there is no record of that designation. "Please offer a designation." TALIESIN: It wants a name. SAM: Oh!
LAURA: Brashaar of the Praesidis Ward. SAM: Wait, you're going to name
it after the thing that died-- LAURA: Oh, I see, it needs a name. Sorry, I thought it was like a password or something. SAM: Oh. TALIESIN: Yeah, no, let's give it a name, let's say-- SAM: Something relatable, like XR1513. (laughter) I don't know. LAURA: What about Diddy or Daddy or Deddy? SAM: (laughs) LAURA: Oh, Doty!
ASHLEY: Chappie. (laughter) SAM: That's stupid. (laughter) TALIESIN: Charlie it is. MARISHA: Charlie! ASHLEY: Charlie. TALIESIN: I like 'C' names. MATT: "Charlie. I am designation Charlie. "I am an Aeormaton citizen of Aeor. "Hello?" TALIESIN: Hello, do you speak Common? SAM: It's the cutest.
ASHLEY: I love him. MATT: "I do not understand your request." TALIESIN: Okay, how quickly can you learn new languages? MATT: "I do not recall. It appears I have sustained injury "to numerous parts of my self." And as he looks down, this genderless creature at the moment seems to pull itself back a bit and you can see its legs are shredded and the cables are leading behind and then just kind of-- "It ap-- It ap-- It ap-- "It appears I've sustained some injury." SAM: I will die for this creature--
LAURA: Is he in pain? TALIESIN: Do you remember what happened? MATT: "I do not. My systems are damaged. "Perhaps the Genesis Ward may allow me "to reboot and present myself." TALIESIN: Where would the Genesis Ward be? MARISHA: Oh lord. MATT: You see the eyes all of a sudden go wide and this like brief very faint scan goes (whooshing), in the space around. "Ah, that way." And it points loosely in the direction that you were already going to travel. TALIESIN: I think this is a very good idea. Would you like to? May I? LAURA: Yeah.
SAM: Yes. TALIESIN: Would you like to come with us? We can maybe take you there? It is dangerous and we will need help. And I might become difficult to understand at some point, but if you can just keep guiding us towards where we need to take you to fix yourself, we would be most grateful. MATT: "I must ask permission from my associates." SAM: Oh no. (laughter) "I do not recall my associates, so I will be my associate. "You will be my associate. "Charlie will come with you." TALIESIN: Happy to be an associate,
Charlie. This is everybody. There's a lot of dangerous people around here, just assume if it's not us, it might be a problem. MARISHA: Caduceus, how's stealthy is he? TALIESIN: Well, stealthy right now, not very-- MATT: Yeah, as you're saying this,
he's starting to stand up, and then (clattering). MARISHA: Oh no, no, no! LAURA: I can carry him, or you can-- SAM: Wait, do we have all of your parts? I know they're not connected to you, but are all of your parts nearby that we can maybe collect? MATT: You hear this faint repetition of your voice. "All of your parts nearby-- (rapid gibberish)" and then responds in perfect Common. (gasping) MATT: Answering your question. TALIESIN: Well, that helps. TRAVIS: Wow. MATT: "I have only the parts of myself present." TALIESIN: I say in the other language: Show off. (laughter) TRAVIS: Do you have any offensive or defensive capabilities? MATT: "No, I am a companion." TRAVIS: Cool. Cool. LAURA: Are you in pain? TRAVIS: No, no. MATT: "I am not engineered to feel pain." LAURA: Okay. SAM: Can we fix you? Your injuries? TALIESIN: Yeah, the Genesis Ward. SAM: Oh, okay, okay.
MATT: "Indeed." TALIESIN: Let's go. LAURA: I'll pick him up and I'll strap you on my back like Chewbacca carried C3PO. MARISHA: Hell yeah. (laughter) MATT: "I do not understand this reference, but certainly." TRAVIS: Neither does anyone else. LIAM: Charlie, are you familiar with this entire city? MATT: "This is Aeor." LIAM: Yes, do you know it backwards and forwards? MATT: "T-t-t-- I have an internal map "(rising and falling tones) ah-- of Aeor." (laughter) TALIESIN: Well, we're letting the
high kid guide us, I suppose. So this'll at least be an adventure. LAURA: Is it possible for you to talk very quietly? MATT: "(quietly) I can speak very (louder) quiet-- "ch-ch-- ly. (final tone continues)" MARISHA: Can you not speak at all?
MATT: (tone continues) ASHLEY: I give him a tap.
MATT: (tone continues) MATT: "Hi. Hello, I'm Charlie." MARISHA: Hi. TALIESIN: Let's get to the Genesis Ward, I think. MARISHA: Shh, Charlie, shh. TALIESIN: Oh, this is Beau. I'm Caduceus. Let's go around. ASHLEY: Hello, I'm Yasha. SAM: Veth. LIAM: Caleb Widogast. LAURA: I'm Jester. TRAVIS: Fjord. MATT: "I'm Charlie." TALIESIN: Excellent. LIAM: This is Essek. MATT: (as Charlie) "Essek." Essek steps back and goes, "I don't trust it." (laughter) TALIESIN: Good.
MARISHA: He's smart. TALIESIN: We need to get moving. MARISHA: Yeah, let's go.
LIAM: Yes. MATT: "Well, lead on." SAM: Yeah.
LAURA: Okay. TRAVIS: Head back to the road. MATT: Jester carrying Charlie on her back, you all quietly begin to make your way to the exit of the amphitheater. Essek staying a safe 15 feet behind before brushing up next to you and going, "You do know about Aeor, right?" LIAM: A decent amount. What are you alluding to? MATT: "Well, many things were designed for warfare here, "against the gods themselves. "Just be careful of trusting anything at face value." LIAM: I haven't done that in a very long time. MATT: "You may live yet." LIAM: Stay close. MATT: And as you all begin to drift into the shadow. We're going to take a break. ALL: Ooh! MATT: Be back here in few minutes.
ALL: Charlie! TALIESIN: Name's Charlie. MATT: An Aeormaton.
LAURA: Charlie. SAM: Wow. Aeor--? TALIESIN and MATT: Aeormaton. LIAM: Named after good old Charlie. MATT: Aww.
LAURA: He lives! LIAM: Good old Charlie. MATT: All right, we'll see you guys
here in a few minutes. (ominous music) Narrator: Dwarvenite, the most precious substance among dwarven smiths, able to absorb the very spirit of the craftsman. Thus infused, it becomes nearly indestructible, able to forge heirlooms that will last for generations. (exploding) Pure dwarvenite, now you can get your hands on this legendary substance with the new Dungeon of Doom, available now at dwarvenforge.com. (adventurous music) That is also just the most perfect performance I've seen Travis do.
I mean- In any arena doing anything.
It was so good. It was rehearsed. It had to be rehearsed.
Mr Willingham, you're accepted to Julliard. (laughing) All it took was the Chutney monologue made popular here on Narrative Telephone. Oh my god, how amazing would it be if years from now we get word that someone was accepted into some institution using the Chutney monologue.
NYU. (laughing) (mysterious music) Welcome to the Critical Role after show. That's what Marisha wanted to call it. C R A S, cras. Do not slander me, like that you bitch.
CRAS. CRAS. Actually I would've signed off on that. I would've signed off on that.
So would I have. So would I have. Now we get-
No it would have to be like the [Marisha And Travis] Critical Role After Show Special. Yes, there you go.
Boom, so now. Yeah, every week is special. Now instead- If we were canceled Brian that's what we'll name this show. Okay.
CRASS, yeah. Well that's fine. There's a whole line of people waiting to take my place. Many of them outside my house, which is weird. (relaxing music) (mysterious music)
(fast clacking) LAURA: Hey critters, Laura Bailey here. Let's see what's up in the Critical Role shop. Oh my gosh, it's so amazing. Roll an investigation if you want. It's basically perfect. Oh goodie, you can not just like my brother. Can you put donuts in this? Only one way to find out. So click on over to the Critical Role shop. Don't worry there's a few more minutes in the break. You've still got time. Like a symphony playing to an empty theater Critical Role dines alone without its audience. Yes, that validating and most enthusiastic congregation on the other side of the fourth wall. And what is this fourth wall separating the viewer from the creator? A portal to an often sought point of connection, or the Twitch subscription zone? On the rare occasion that you miss the live bacchanal boasted by the ragtag group of thespians on Thursday night, you may always view the show on demand in the shadowland known as the Twitch subscription zone. Picture if you will the necessary pieces to complete a jigsaw puzzle but it's up to you to choose how it will be solved. You could of course subscribe with your debt rectangle but many more divergent paths lie before you. Perhaps you found yourself in possession of an Amazon Prime account. You would then wake up to discover a free Twitch subscription each month for a channel of your choosing. But this artifact demands renewal for you must resubscribe each month to quench its unyielding thirst. One need not walk alone. Those who have already found their way can illuminate the path for others via the gift a sub button on Twitch. Critical Role is humbled by your subscription and wishes to thank you from behind the thin veil of this fourth wall. We hope you enjoy our content as much as we enjoy making it. And so ends another meandering digression, a complicated parody promo down an indistinct highway to the region we call the Twitch subscription zone. You will subscribe. Twitch prime subscribe. Gift subscribe. Subscribe. (eerie music) MATT: And welcome back. So. The Mighty Nein, you have left the coliseum-type structure here, in the middle of the Praesidis Ward. You have acquired a new Aeormaton companion, which you've named Charlie, for the time being. First off, as you're heading back into the shadow to retrace your steps, I'd like you all to roll a stealth check. LIAM: Yes, yes, yes, yes. LAURA: Oh, Blessing of the Trickster.
TRAVIS: Thank you. SAM: Will Charlie roll as well? No, Charlie's on Jester.
LAURA: He's on my back, right? MATT: Correct. But I will roll to see if he stays quiet. TRAVIS: Keep his fucking mouth shut. TALIESIN: Oh, that's gross. MARISHA: Bad, or good?
LIAM: Bad. LAURA: Ooh. MATT: All righty. LIAM: Oh Vax, where are you?
MARISHA: These are bad noises. LAURA: It's hard to--
TRAVIS: 12. LAURA: It's hard to stealth when I've got an Aeormaton on my back. TRAVIS: You're stealthing for two. LAURA: I'm stealthing for two! Three! Technically.
MATT: "I have been purely quiet." LAURA: Oh no.
MATT: What's your stealth? LAURA: Eight.
MATT: Okay. LIAM: <i>Sechs</i>.
MATT: Okay. SAM: 24.
MATT: Okay. ASHLEY: 19.
MATT: Okay. TALIESIN: Seven.
(groaning) MARISHA: 27.
LAURA: Okay. LIAM: Just like, three fifths bad.
LAURA: Oh no. MATT: Okay. LAURA: I think we're going to fight a gorilla.
LIAM: (whispering) Sex monstah. ASHLEY: (whispering) Sex monstah. (giggling) MATT: You continue on retracing your path, heading deeper into the Praesidis Ward, eventually passing by the familiar structure of the mausoleum that you had nearly investigated. And following the path that Veth and Beauregard had set before, eventually you begin to come upon the site of this gruesome battle that proceeded your arrival. Where do you go from there? SAM: Should we just--
TALIESIN: Straight on ahead, right? MARISHA: Yeah.
SAM: We're just going to walk right through? Or should we stealth through?
LAURA: Is there a blood trail going from here now? MATT: You are stealthing. SAM: Should we-- can you do your-- TRAVIS: Invisibility?
SAM: Marine layer? TRAVIS: I can. It hasn't ever worked out in our advantage. SAM: I know, but we're just
moving through this space, right? LAURA: You have to be within five feet of Fjord in order to not be blinded. SAM: Yeah, I understand. But he can drop it. You can drop it, right? TRAVIS: Yeah. SAM: We would be like a moveable cloud. I don't know!
TALIESIN: But most of us couldn't see. TRAVIS: No, you can if we're all just in a honeycomb. LAURA: We literally would have to walk on you. TRAVIS: Yeah, we'd have to be in a little, tight group. SAM: I can't see anyway.
TALIESIN: Oh wow, yeah. SAM: Doesn't bother-- I'll be outside
the little, tight cluster. Doesn't bother me. No?
TRAVIS: I think we just keep stealthing and we're okay. SAM: Okay. LAURA: Did they leave another blood trail? TRAVIS: Never worked out. MATT: You can make an investigation check, if you like. LIAM: You heard something here too, yeah? SAM: Yes, we heard a second--
a third sex monster. LAURA: 13. MATT: It's hard to tell if it was a trail, or if it's just spatterings of blood as part of this battle. I mean, the road continues onward. LAURA: That's true, and we know where they're going mostly. TRAVIS: We do? LAURA: Yeah. MARISHA: I saw it trail this way, right? TALIESIN: It's all going that way. MATT: You recall, somewhat, following the path you were traveling, yeah. MARISHA: From what I found last time. LAURA: Hey! Hey, Charlie. MATT: "Yes?" LAURA: Which way was the Somnovem Ward? SAM: Genesis Ward? Or-- LIAM: Cognouza.
LAURA: Cognouza Ward. MATT: "Cogno-- cog-- cog-- "Cognouza Ward. "Hi, I'm Charlie." SAM: Oh.
LAURA: Oh. SAM: What? LAURA: Hi, Charlie. MATT: "Hello." SAM: Oh?
LIAM: Just over your shoulder, this conversation?
LAURA: Yeah. He's right here. LAURA: Do you remember us, Charlie?
LAURA: Sprinkle is deeply unsatisfied with this.
MATT: "Yes." TALIESIN: I mean--
SAM: Crushing Sprinkle. LIAM: Does that name mean anything to you? Cognouza Ward? MATT: "I recall it is a part of Aeor." LIAM: Yes. MATT: "Yes. A ward to the--" LIAM: Well, north is that way. SAM: Maybe he's--
LIAM: So knowing that, do you know what the Cognouza Ward is? SAM: -- purposefully blocked.
MATT: "There is "much damage sustained to myself. "Upon recovery and repair, "perhaps I could better answer your questions." LAURA: Mm-hmm.
LIAM: Fair enough. SAM: Charlie, do you have a preferred pronoun? MATT: "'He' is acceptable."
SAM: Okay. We guessed right. MARISHA: Charlie can be a girl's name, too. LAURA: Yeah.
SAM: Well, don't worry. We've been saying "he" a lot, that's all.
MARISHA: Gender neutral name. TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah.
MARISHA: That's true. TRAVIS: Charlie. Ryan. Those are awesome names. MARISHA: Yeah. Beau.
LAURA: Alex. TRAVIS: Yeah.
MATT: "Thank you for asking." SAM: Sure. LAURA: Sam. MARISHA: Yeah.
SAM: Yeah? LAURA: Nothing.
SAM: Oh. TRAVIS: Yeah, we're going.
LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. SAM: Let's keep going! MARISHA: We're just listing baby names over here. (laughter) MATT: All right. Trekking on past, you begin to approach where the heavy rock slope begins to cut across this main thoroughfare, essentially preventing continuation beyond where this road comes to an end at the stone. Right as you're reaching this portion, Caduceus, Beauregard, and Caleb, you begin to pick up the sound of what-- it's like a handful of tumbling rocks. MARISHA: Coming from where? MATT: From behind you. MARISHA: I turn around really quick, and I nudge Caduceus. TALIESIN: I'm paying very close attention. MARISHA: I tell everybody, shh shh shh! TRAVIS: We freeze. MATT: Nothing. TRAVIS: Divine Sense, 60 feet. Third charge. MATT: Nothing. SAM: Also-- just-- I can see anything-- or if I can hear, I can-- I can sense anything invisible around us with a 10-foot radius. MATT: That is true.
SAM: Anything invisible? MATT: Nothing. TALIESIN: Just for fun, since we're doing this, Eyes Of The Grave. 60 feet. TRAVIS: (explosions)
MATT: I know! (laughter) MATT: Nothing. TALIESIN: I like that you did that in the robot way, in Charlie's voice. That was nice. That was good bonus. Okay, let's move with eyes in the back of our head, so. MARISHA: Okay. Where does this go? The path? MATT: The path ends. You can go to the right or left, and follow the wall, if you'd like. Your choice. TALIESIN: Oh. MARISHA: Are there passages that extend on the right, or the left?
MATT: You don't see any yet. There's just a wall.
LAURA: Do we see blood on the ground? We see any blood on the ground going either direction? MATT: You could make a perception or investigation check, if you'd like. TALIESIN: I'll join in that. LAURA: Yeah, you're helping? TALIESIN: Yeah, I'll help. LAURA: 15. MATT: 15. Nothing specifically catches your eye, unfortunately. LAURA: Hey, Charlie! MATT: "Yes."
LAURA: Can you see the ground? MATT: "I see it." LAURA: Can you scan the ground? Scan for blood. Enhance! LIAM: What are those words? (laughter) TRAVIS: You're supposed to say "computer." MATT: "I do not see any blood nearby. "My apologies." LAURA: It's okay. MARISHA: I'm going to take the left. Just see just a little bit, feel around. TALIESIN: Charlie, which way to the Genesis Ward? Left or right? MATT: "This way," and points towards|
where the stone wall is. TALIESIN: Fair. All right. MARISHA: I'm just going to start feeling the wall, feeling for drafts. Is there any direction, as I head towards the left. This is the right. The left. LAURA: Is it like Labyrinth? Can we touch the wall? Can we go through the wall in front of us? (gasps) MATT: (impact)
LAURA: Okay. MATT: It's actual rock, sorry. So, to the right or the left? TALIESIN: Classic rock. MARISHA: Left.
TALIESIN: Left. MATT: Left. Okay. You follow along the side of this, somewhat extreme, angled stone falling point before it impacts. And a lot of the rock is fractured upward, and sticking out from the impact. You can see it's caused almost like the edge of a violently created volcanic cliff. Right here from the point of impact. As you move along, for about three, four minutes, eventually you see there is a portion where the stone itself is broken in two. Like, there's some sort of a heavy crack and an opening that leads, and continues on through the wall. MARISHA: I found a crack! MATT: (light knocking)
LAURA: (gasps) MARISHA: Is that another rock? LIAM: It's still behind us? LIAM: A little ways behind you, but you hear another sound. TALIESIN: I am scanning the horizon. MATT: Make a perception check with disadvantage. LAURA: Charlie! MATT: "Yes." LAURA: Scan the horizon for any lifeforms. TALIESIN: Big nope. MATT: Nope.
TALIESIN: No! MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN: That was a one. MATT: "Light sources are challenged in this space. "Nothing can be perceived." TRAVIS: "Superior society," no night vision. Lame! (laughter) No offense, Charlie. (laughter) MATT: "None taken." SAM: Should we just run? MARISHA: Let's get in. Do you guys want to squeeze in here? It seems like it keeps going forward. Get through the wall. TALIESIN: Is there enough room? MARISHA: I think so, is there enough room? MATT: You come around the corner there, and you could see why the wall seems to have cracked. There is some very cleanly made, metallic, triangular entryway. Like it was the entrance to some sort of a large structure, or some sort of large building. And the entry point was this thick, metallic point. Almost like a blade with a tunnel within, and as the rock collided with it, it carved and broke. You can see it's bent to shit and ruined, and tangled somewhat to the side from where it hit. But as it did, it was just enough to split that element of the stone, and hold itself firm. And so there is indeed a passageway that leads beyond. LIAM: How far? Does it just go for awhile? Can we see how deep? MATT: It seems like it goes on for at least the edge of your visual range. Which without much of a light source here, is very short. MARISHA: It's a creepy tunnel. LIAM: So if there is something coming behind us, it would have to funnel in after us, same as us. Maybe we can get in, and if it's something big, it won't be able to follow. And if it's something our size, we can be ready for it. TRAVIS: Yep.
MARISHA: Yeah. TRAVIS: [inaudible] MARISHA: I start shimmying in. I'm goin' in. MATT: Okay.
MARISHA: Yasha? ASHLEY: Yep.
MARISHA: Okay. LIAM: Watch your step. Watch your step. ASHLEY: I get behind her.
MATT: Okay. You are welcome to shimmy. The space is wide enough where you do not need to do that. (laughter) But who am I to stop you? If you're feeling a shimmy coming on. (laughter)
TRAVIS: I've got low light, stealth move. Disrupt the air.
(laughter) MATT: While the entryway itself is bent and fucked up in its own right, there is about an eight-foot wide space, from what was once about 15 feet across. LIAM: Just two wild and crazy girls. (laughter) ASHLEY: Two wild and crazy girls. TRAVIS: God, oh my god. MATT: All right, so we have Beau and Yasha up front. TRAVIS: What are you doing? Stop that!
MARISHA: I thought this was a musical number.
ASHLEY: Use your stealth. MATT: Are the rest of you waiting? Or are you moving in behind? LAURA: I think we're going in behind. MATT: Okay, who's after them? LIAM: We're walking in the dark? TRAVIS: So far.
MATT: Yeah. TALIESIN: Once we're inside--
TRAVIS: We have to light it up soon. MATT: Who's second wave? LAURA: I'll come in second with Charlie. MATT: Okay. I should've gotten a Charlie mini, but we'll say he's on your back. TRAVIS: I will be in the rear. LIAM: I will join you in the rear. LAURA: (cackles) TRAVIS: Fans will love that. (laughter) MATT: Essek will travel with Caduceus in the center. Veth, are you--? SAM: Middle.
MATT: Middle? All right, that's you in that space there. LIAM: Anyone opposed to me making a globule right here? TRAVIS: No.
LIAM: I'm going to do that. TRAVIS: Are you opposed to me lighting up my sword? LIAM: That's fine, too.
TRAVIS: Let's do it. MATT: All right.
ASHLEY: Was thinking that as well. MATT: You step a little bit in towards the space and it's getting chillier, as you progress into this room. The chamber inside most of the city, it seemed to emanate a... a sourceless sense of warmth, or at least controlled weather based on the icy exterior of the city. As you begin to step into this space, that quickly fades, and you can see frost and ice gathered on the edges of the inside of this metallic hallway, and stone is broken through in places. And eventually, it begins to give away to just a natural, ice covered tunnel space. LAURA: I forgot it's actually cold down here. MARISHA: Yeah.
TALIESIN: Yeah. MARISHA: Do you think that they just kept it nice and temperate all year long? LAURA: Probably.
MARISHA: It's pretty nice. LIAM: Central air.
MARISHA: Yeah. TRAVIS: We light up the globule and the Star Razor. MATT: (foomphing) You fill the space in front of you, and the tunnel ahead. Your vision is able to crystallize on the details around you. And this is a space where you can see the structure you walk through was structurally battling with the impact of the city. It doesn't look like there is a continuous fall of rock above, but it looks like elements of the ceiling above you is bent and shifted. Some areas, you have to push a little bit through. TRAVIS: As we move forward, I am looking strictly at our six o'clock. LIAM: Yeah. Same.
MATT: You got it. Make a perception check, please, both of you.
LIAM: Head on a swivel. SAM: I'm going to look down and see if there's any more blood. MATT: Make an investigation check for me. TRAVIS: 19.
LIAM: 22. LAURA: Can I give you Guidance? MATT: 19, 22. Okay. LAURA: Or help you in any way? SAM: Who, me? Oh. 23. LAURA: That's pretty good. Do you want to take advantage on it, if I'm helping you? SAM: Yeah, sure. 23. MATT: (laughs) LAURA: Plus I gave you Guidance. SAM: 25. MATT: 25. The bad news, with the shift to icier temperatures, in this segment of the hall, is it as much colder than you've gotten used to in recent travel. TRAVIS: Oh wow. MATT: The good news is, the layer of frost has made discoloration easier to see. And as you all begin to walk through, you glance down at the bit of whitish frost before your feet break through, and you can see little bits of red, just occasionally spattered there. Small drops. SAM: Pick one up. MATT: Barbecue sauce. (laughter) SAM: Mesquite! (laughter) TRAVIS: What I wouldn't do for some hickory. (laughter) SAM: I knew it. Tennessee style. TRAVIS: Molasses. MATT: Beau and Yasha, since you are towards the front, you see a little ways ahead the tunnel begins to open into a new chamber. Smaller than the massive, mile-, two mile-, three mile-wide city tunnel you had just traveled through the cavern. This looks to be an enclosed chamber. There is no light source beyond the ones your friends are carrying behind you, except for this faint, thrumming, blue light, that seems to be occasionally filling the space. You see darkness, and then a blue light fades in, and you can see a corner and a pillar. And then it fades away. And then it fades in and you can see once more. There's a pillar that goes beyond your view. You can just see within this entryway that leads into the interior chamber. And you can just barely make out the interior shape. MARISHA: Do you remember Lucien having anything like that? ASHLEY: I don't think so. MARISHA: Me neither. TALIESIN: This is the moment to remind everybody that we're a little tapped. MARISHA: All right.
ASHLEY: Oh fuck. MARISHA: I just turn back around to the rest of the group. Light up ahead. TRAVIS: Anything on our six o'clock? MATT: With your perception check? Not yet. TRAVIS: Okay.
SAM: Not yet. It's coming. LAURA: Reminder that we all did eat a Heroes' Feast. MARISHA: Yes, queen.
LAURA: So you're immune to fear. Or, no. What is it? Advantage to saving throws on-- I'm going to read the spell. MATT: You're immune to poison and fear, and you have advantage on wisdom saving throws. LAURA: Yeah. ASHLEY: Should we--
MARISHA: Go up ahead? ASHLEY: -- shimmy forward? MARISHA: Okay. We'll check it out. Hang on one second. SAM: Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy, ya. TRAVIS: You sure you don't want to take Veth? ASHLEY: Veth? MARISHA: Veth wished for Jester to be with her earlier, so. LAURA: You did? You did? SAM: I did. LAURA: That's so wonderful.
SAM: You're my number one, original partner. But Beau was excellent. LAURA: Yeah, no. She's really great. SAM: Yeah. If you die at the end of season two, she's my new partner. LAURA: Foreshadowing! MARISHA: (laughs) MATT: So the two of you shimmy into the chamber? MARISHA: Yeah. MATT: All right. As you step into the space-- MARISHA: Jazz hands. MATT: The room looks to be maybe 80 feet across or so. Mostly rectangular. And in comparison to a lot of the structures you've come across, this one is fairly well-kept. Beyond the entryway that you're coming through, some of the walls are still fairly intact. The sense of cold and ice seems to dissipate quickly into the room, which is odd. Like just a portion of that hallway seemed to give into the cold atmosphere. And then once more, the room seems to-- not that you feel the warmth with just the brief steps you've taken in. You're still standing in frost. Maybe 10 or so feet beyond where you stand, the ice stops, and gives way to just stone. Smooth stone floor. MATT: Elements of the interior walls that are reminiscent of some of the previous ruins that you've been to. You can see across from you, there appears to be a hallway entrance that continues outside of this chamber, and to your left, across the wall that way, there is a second hallway that exits in that direction. But not far from you, close to the center of this room, there is a raised pillar. And atop that, what looks to be a 15- or 20-foot-tall spire. And as you glance up, this room is quite tall. Taller than that spire, at least. Probably close to 80 feet tall. TRAVIS: Whoa.
SAM: Cool. MATT: And that spire is metallic and spirals upwards. At the top and throughout the center of it, there is this faint, blue light that (pulsing). TALIESIN: Well, this is a problem. MATT: And as it thrums, each time you can feel this energy in the room spike then fade. Spike and fade. And as you sense that, you look at each other, and as that sensation comes in, you can see the hair on the other person's head, mostly Yasha's, since yours is bound for the most part, begin to drift up a bit before dropping. SAM: Whoa, cool. MARISHA: It's like those-- I've seen this before. MATT: As you do that with your fingers, you can see bits of energy arc through your fingers to each side and give a slight staticky sound. MARISHA: This is really cool. We have to keep Veth far away. She's got explosives on her. ASHLEY: Yeah, she'll go up like a candle. MARISHA: Super--
TALIESIN: I'm going to be cold again. ASHLEY: Wait, put your finger out. MARISHA: Okay. Okay. ASHLEY: Ow!
MARISHA: Ah! MATT: Yeah.
TRAVIS: (laughs) Yeah. SAM: (laughs) ASHLEY: That's a fun trick.
MARISHA: That's hot. Hang on. Wait, come here. Kiss me. Ah!
ASHLEY: Ow! MARISHA: It hurts. Okay, okay, okay, let's go.
ASHLEY: Like a battery. TRAVIS: (zapping, explosion)
Double kill. MATT: Yep. (laughs) Zero hit points. (laughter) LIAM: They both come out looking like Bride of Frankenstein. TRAVIS: Uh-huh. ASHLEY: It's crazy in here!
MARISHA: It's great. LAURA: Didn't we see this kind of thing? We saw this kind of thing before, right? We saw it in the other place with the crest. MARISHA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Slightly, but it summoned the golem that time. LAURA: Oh. ASHLEY: Ooh. TRAVIS: Right, Matt?
LAURA: Hey! Hey, Charlie. MATT: There are facets of it that remind you of a similar type of enchantment, though that one-- TRAVIS: More structure? MATT: Yeah. This has more of an electrical feel to it. And even now that they've mentioned this, even in just this portion of the tunnel, a ways back, you can taste a change you can taste a change in the way the air meets your tongue. LIAM: Oh boy. LAURA: My skin feels very dry in here. Hey. LIAM: Are we in the tunnel still, though, talking about this?
MATT: Yeah. You're a little bit back from the mouth of the opening. ASHLEY: Yeah. We back up.
LAURA: Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. Charlie. Charlie, Charlie. MATT: "Yes?" LAURA: Have you ever seen-- well, you have. Do you know what that pulsing blue light is? MATT: "I do." LAURA: What is it?
MATT: "This is a security checkpoint." LAURA: How do you get through it, without toasting yourself alive? MATT: "Do not give it to reason to toast you." LAURA: Oh, so you can just walk right past it? MATT: "If you are approved to pass by, yes." TRAVIS: Ooh! ASHLEY: How do you know if you're approved? MATT: "Walk past it." LAURA: Hmm. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
TALIESIN: Oh. TRAVIS: Should we have pulled something off of one of the corpses in the amphitheater? Like a key, or a charm? Or a fob? LAURA: Do you know the approval protocols? MATT: "Usually it's by escorting, "if you do not already carry the necessary keys." SAM: Are you a key? MATT: "I do not believe so." TALIESIN: Would you have the authority to get us through this? MATT: "I do not know. "We could try." LIAM: What was the layout of that room again? As far as further passageways or doors out of it? MATT: So it is a mostly rectangular chamber. You guys are entering on, like, if you're entering from this side, it opens a little bit outward, and almost widely at an angle across from where you are. Like this.
LIAM: Okay. MATT: The pillar's in the center of it, and across the way, there is one hall that exits, and then to the left, there is another hall that exits. LIAM: Ah.
TRAVIS: And cross to cross is about 80 feet? And the spire-- is that right? 80 feet from hallway to hallway? MATT: About 70 to 80.
TRAVIS: And the spire in the middle is also super tall? MATT: Correct. LIAM: I'm going to bring my globules to the edge of the hallway. Can I see any dots of red on the ground going towards one passage or the other? MATT: From where you stand here?
LIAM: <i>Ja</i>. MATT: Make a perception or investigation. LIAM: Investigate. I'm just going to peer. SAM: (German accent) Peer. LIAM: I rolled a one. LAURA: (laughs) (laughter) MATT: You look down for a second, and you can't seem to see it. As you stand up and look back at your friends, Caleb's hair is just-- (laughter) SAM: Silly. TRAVIS: Yeah, we don't want to set this thing off. LIAM: Fjord. TRAVIS: Yes?
LIAM: (poofs) Are you able to do that doorway thing that we did at Vergesson? TRAVIS: I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was just caught by your-- LIAM: Oh, sorry. What is it? LAURA: I'm going to draw him in my journal. TRAVIS: Your hair and your beard are quite voluptuous. TALIESIN: Yahoo Serious. SAM: Yeah, I was thinking that same thing. LIAM: The thick Zemnian mane, yes. That's how it's been referred to in the past. I was thinking of-- TRAVIS: The Arcane Gate. LIAM: -- your ability to jump us across, but I was hoping to have a good guess at which door to pick. TRAVIS: Right. Get one. I don't think I can move the doorway, I can only rotate it. So we would be stuck with whichever one we pick. LIAM: Right. TRAVIS: Unless maybe Frumpkin wouldn't set off a blast of 20d10 damage from this thing. LIAM: That is a test, yeah. TRAVIS: (poof) LIAM: (sighs) SAM: So we think if we just walk through there, we're going to get zapped with something? TRAVIS: Yeah. We don't have any keys. LAURA: How far can you go past the orb before it attacks you? If you don't have approval? MATT: "I don't recall, "though, it seemed proximity-based." LAURA: Hmm. LIAM: The column, it's magical, <i>ja</i>? MATT: You don't know. LIAM: Okay. ASHLEY: But Charlie, which way?
MATT: Make an arcana check while looking at the construction of it to see. LIAM: Yes, I will do that. ASHLEY: Did we ask him already? Which way to the--? TRAVIS: Oh, we asked him outside. We should ask him again. ASHLEY: Yeah. Which way do we go? MATT: "I do not recall." TRAVIS: To the Genesis Ward?
MATT: "Wait, maybe we "we-- we-- we-- we-- we. "<i>Oui, oui.</i>" ASHLEY: Ooh.
TALIESIN: Yeah. ASHLEY: I think he's got another language. LIAM: Well, he is a protocol droid.
MATT: "I learn quickly." TRAVIS: (laughs)
ASHLEY: Oh! LIAM: I got a 28 on that arcana check. MATT: It does appear to be magical in nature. A lot of things in Aeor have some sort of basis in long-lasting arcana. LIAM: Okay. I have another idea. I'm going to try something. I might get hurt. Please pull me out if I do get hurt. TRAVIS: Okay. LIAM: I take Allura's staff and use it to cast Globe of Invulnerability. SAM: Nice. MATT: Okay. LIAM: And proceed to walk 15 feet into the chamber. MATT: Okay. You walk 15 feet into the chamber. As you get within about 10 feet of the pillar in the center, the tower (pulsing, crackles) It unleashes this arc, this torrent of extremely strong, electrical, blue, sparkling energy. Hitting the orb, and striking the side, and dividing, and sending this wave of sparks across the surface But not affecting you.
LIAM: Ooh! Hoo! I run back. I got about 45 seconds.
SAM: Ah! LIAM: Let's go to the door on the left. SAM: Wait. How many of us can fit with you? LIAM: All of you. Let's go. TRAVIS and ASHLEY: Go, go, go! MATT: Okay. As you all excitedly
begin to yell, "Go, go, go!" You hear (panting, grunting) (roaring) LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah!
MATT: From behind where you are echo through.
MARISHA: Gotta go! MATT: You all go running.
TRAVIS: Run, bitch! LIAM: Lure it to the chamber! It'll cook! MATT: You guys all run into the middle of the chamber, this arcing of energy, blast to the side, like half-blinding you as it's hitting. You're like, "Oh god!" As you're freaking out, it's sparking off to the side. You hear the (grunting) loudly coming from behind you. LIAM: Sex monster!
MATT: Which way are you going? TRAVIS: Left! Left, right? Left.
LIAM: Left. I said left. I'm running with the staff to the left. MATT: You run over to the left. You get to the door, and around the corner, you see, down on all fours, this massive, fleshless, wolf-like creature. You see it has this weird, striated, muscle-like structure, with this odd red and blue mixture across it. It's like the skin has been pulled off and replaced with this odd mishmash of various colorations. As it turns the corner, (snarling) its jaw gibbering and drooling out of its teeth, arcing upward. Its eyes, this faintly dull, yellowish glow. Its tail whips. And at the end of its tail, this long, fleshy, spiraling stalk, you see a singular, massive eye. TRAVIS: Oh!
LAURA: It's the thing! It's the thing! It was the thing in the tube! LIAM: Yeah. We saw in the other area.
MATT: Indeed. MARISHA: Oh!
MATT: I need you guys to roll initiative. (yelling) SAM: Initiative?! I thought we were just going to run away! TRAVIS: You thought wrong, bitch! LIAM: I thought he was describing it coming from behind us. LAURA: It was!
LIAM: Is it? ASHLEY: I think it is.
MARISHA: Wait, is it behind us? It is coming from behind us. MATT: The sound is coming from behind you. SAM: Guys. This sexual combat is brought to you by Dwarven Forge, makers of premium handcrafted gaming terrain. Their April build of the month continues the story of Fantasy Gary Gygax, searching for his beloved rabbit companion. Check it out at bit.ly/dwarvenforgeCR. Whoa! MATT: Oh no--
SAM: Whoa. MARISHA: (laughs) LAURA: Cool. SAM: Oh, man. MARISHA: Okay, we have a Heroes' Feast. LAURA: Yes. MATT: There it is.
SAM: What does that mean? MARISHA: (laughs) MATT: All righty.
SAM: How are we going to fight this thing?
MARISHA: Wisdom? LAURA: I don't know. Advantage on wisdom saving throws--
SAM: We have three seconds left. LAURA: Immune to poison and immune to fear.
MARISHA: Can we just keep running? MATT: You all began to run this way. LIAM: Just depends on where they are.
TRAVIS: Where'd we come from? MATT: You came through this side, and this was across the way, and then on the opposite end.
MARISHA: Whoa, that spire. MATT: All right. Who is arranged around Caleb? TRAVIS: We all are. LIAM: Right, so we don't get toasted. LAURA: And we're all in this sphere, though. TRAVIS: We're all in the Adventures of Babysitting huddle. MATT: Is there a particular-- SAM: Nobody gets off this stage without singing the blues. LAURA: I think we're all just as around him as possible. TALIESIN: Yeah, I think it's just a clusterfuck. MATT: All right, the clusterfuck is-- MARISHA: Moving cinnamon roll.
MATT: It's as much of a clusterfuck as I laid it down. Unless you tell me something otherwise, this is where it is. TRAVIS and LAURA: Okay.
MARISHA: I mean, you have to be within 10 feet of him, right? SAM: Is that big enough? Okay.
LIAM: 10 foot radius. MARISHA: Yeah. LAURA: We all have to run at the same time. (laughs) Oh, it's coming from in front of us? MATT: Yeah, that turned the corner from the hallway that you were heading towards. TRAVIS: Flip me with Essek, so I can be at the back-- LIAM: A little miscommunication in there. TRAVIS: Closest to the enemy that's chasing us. MATT: What's that?
TRAVIS: Yeah, flip me with Essek, so I can-- Yeah, Tower Swap back in.
MATT: You got it. TALIESIN: How crazy should I-- Well, we'll find out. MATT: As you guys rush through and turn towards that hallway. The creature you see with the tail is coming down the hall on the path you were racing towards and turns the corner to face you. As you glance over your shoulder where you came-- SAM: Oh!
MATT: Rounding the corner. SAM: Oh, there's another one.
MARISHA: Son of a bitch! TRAVIS: Oh shit, what is that?! MARISHA: He's a different thingy!
LAURA: Oh no. MATT: That is--
LAURA: That's the gorilla thing. MATT: That is the massive bear-gorilla-like creature that you had seen two of them slaughtered. LIAM: Bear Grylls is here? MARISHA: Bear Grylls is here. MATT: Bear Grylls has had a rough year. (laughs) MARISHA: Pandemic's been hard on all of us. MATT: Indeed. But--
LIAM: Wow. SAM: Whoa.
TRAVIS: Oh no. ASHLEY: Oh my goodness.
LAURA: Please let this dome electrocute them both. TRAVIS: How long does this globe last? LAURA: 45 seconds!
SAM: 10 seconds. LIAM: A minute total, so there's probably a couple of rounds in it. Two or three rounds? MARISHA: Should we just keep moving?
SAM: It took him time to go in and come back, and for us to come in. TRAVIS: We'll need a DM ruling. MATT: All right, so I need initiatives, 25 to 20. MARISHA: 23.
LAURA: 23. MATT: 23, damn! TRAVIS: Who has the higher dex? LAURA: I bet she-- I have a plus four to dex. TRAVIS: Okay. MARISHA: You have a plus four to dex?
LAURA: Yeah. MARISHA: Dang. I'm a plus five, but-- MATT: 20 to 15. ASHLEY: 21. MATT: Oh, hell yeah, Yasha.
MARISHA: Ooh! LIAM: (beeping) MATT: All right. LIAM: Oh right, I got a minus for my staff. SAM: (triumphant battle trumpet) ASHLEY: I don't know why I answered when you said 20 to 15. MATT: That's okay. MARISHA: I mean, we're going to be resting soon-- MATT: Anybody else 20 to 15?
MARISHA: -- but also-- SAM: 14. MARISHA: Never know when we're going to--
LIAM: 14. TRAVIS: 13. TALIESIN: 13.
LIAM: Oh, wow. We're all clumped up in the initiative. MATT: All right, so we have-- TRAVIS: Veth, Caleb--
LAURA: Caleb, Fjord. TRAVIS: No. LIAM: I'm a 14 as well. TRAVIS: Caduceus then Fjord, because my dex is zero. MATT: All right. MARISHA: So Veth, Caleb, Cad, Fjord? TRAVIS: Yeah. MATT: So that's everybody. All righty. And it is a 10-foot radius, you said? LIAM: Yeah.
LAURA: Oh my god. (cheering) MARISHA: Wait, what? TRAVIS: Bless you! MARISHA and TRAVIS: What is that? MARISHA: What is it?
LAURA: That's amazing. MATT: That is actually the Leomund's Tiny Hut. LIAM: Oh, is it? MATT: Structure for it, I believe. MARISHA and ASHLEY: That's so cute! LAURA: Is that the size of the dome we always sleep in? MATT: Yeah.
TRAVIS: We got the best toys. MATT: It's crowded, y'all. LAURA: Oh shit.
LIAM: Yeah, yeah. It's a cuddle pile.
LAURA: We are-- TRAVIS: We've got the best toys.
LAURA: -- <i>on</i> each other. SAM: It's a big Dutch oven.
MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs) TRAVIS: Oh yeah. (laughter) LAURA: So the Globe of Invulnerability, does that protect us against physical? TRAVIS: Yasha, stop fucking in the dome!
LIAM: Just magic. And it's up to a certain level.
MATT: Beauregard. LIAM: Any spell of 5th-level or lower--
MATT: You're up first, Jester-- LIAM: -- can't get through, higher can. MATT: Jester, you're on deck. MARISHA: I'm up first. I'm up first! No, I hate this! Okay. TRAVIS: Fuck up the thing in front of you, go get it. MARISHA: That's exac-- I'm going to just assume that we're going to press on and I'm going to break rank, and I'm going to clear the path in front of us to-- SAM: You're going to leave the dome? MARISHA: I don't know, yeah. I don't know what else to do. SAM: Yeah, sure. MARISHA: I run up and I punch things. LIAM: Thanks, guinea pig.
TRAVIS: (laughs) MARISHA: That's all I got. MATT: It is likely--
TRAVIS: Or kick. Or elbow. MARISHA: Or kick, yeah, yeah, yeah. MATT: It's probably easier to keep this visually situated like that, so you guys can move in and out without having to worry about that. But now that you've seen it, you get the sense of how it looks. A little more of a bluish tint. Whatever coloration you would like, Caleb, but yes-- LAURA: What Allura would have, right? MATT: This Allura's staff, so yeah, it would be like a faint grayish-blue coloration. LAURA: Ooh. MATT: What are you doing, Beauregard? MARISHA: I'm going to use Yasha and Fjord's shoulders next to me to lift myself and propel myself over the group. And I'm going to come forward to eyeball-butt. MATT: All right.
MARISHA: Man. Thing. MATT: Right up front, just like that, or off to the side? What are you thinking? MARISHA: No, right in front of his face. MATT: Go for it. MARISHA: Okay, I'm going to come up and I'm going to do a big swinging front kick to the front of his face and I'm going to bring my kick right back down and do a one-two full-on Thai style. Oh god, those are both fives for a 17. Both of them. MATT: They both hit. MARISHA: They both hit, okay. Thank goodness gracious, okay. And then-- Okay. Sorry, I am using-- Okay, seven. Okay, 14 on the first one. MATT: 14 damage, you got it. MARISHA: 10 damage on the second one. MATT: Okay.
MARISHA: Stunning Strike. MATT: Stunning Strike on the first strike. Natural 17. That's a 19 total. MARISHA: Natural 17 for a 19 total. MATT: Sorry, total of 21. My bad. MARISHA: You've got pretty good constitution, then. Stunning Strike on the second one, too. MATT: All righty. That is not as good. That would be a seven. MARISHA: Fail! He is stunned!
MATT: Indeed. (laughter) LIAM: Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy, shimmy, MARISHA: Through the tunnel still. MATT: As you rush forth jumping over the rest of them. You rush forward and just, boof, boof! Slamming with your staff and the second strike you hit it right across side of its head. As you crack it in the temple, you see both of his eyes go dark as they close. In the beginning it's like (grunting), just shaking its head back and forth. It is looking like its having a tough time right now. MARISHA: Great, I'm going to go jazz hands, pop pop! MATT: Go for it.
MARISHA: And Flurry of Blows-- TRAVIS: Cries out in Common, "Mommy!" MARISHA: (laughs) Ooh, yikes. That first one is a 14-- so 26 on one. MATT: All righty. MARISHA: And 14 on the second roll, too. MATT: Second roll misses, first one hits.
MARISHA: Okay, so the first one-- does damage. Ooh, I rolled an eight, though. That's good. So that is, nope. Nope, it's a three. It's not an eight. 10 damage.
MATT: 10 damage, all righty. You got it. Does that finish your turn? MARISHA: Yeah, do I still have enough movement to get back into the dome? MATT: Yes, you would. MARISHA: I will do that because he is stunned. So he cannot take reactions. MATT: I believe it is the case. MARISHA: Okay, and I go back in and I go: I stunned him! Ooh, uh, Extract Aspects! Because I hit on--
MATT: Indeed. Indeed, so after those impacts bludgeoning it a third time. The fourth one misses. But as you dart backward, you take a moment to pull that energy back into you. It is a very odd physiology to this creature. You've never quite felt a physiology like this, in some ways it's super intricate. In some ways it's super alien. In some ways it's very clean and unnatural. It's odd. But you do sense that it is immune to necrotic and radiant damage. LAURA: Oh, weird. MARISHA: That's good. So I come back and I say: Don't use necrotic or holy shit. I don't know, it seems--
SAM: Holy shit? MARISHA: Well, holy shit! It's an alien.
(laughter) MATT: That finishes Beau's go. Jester, you're up.
LAURA: Okay. I don't want to use my spells, so I'm going to make a flying leap out of here. TRAVIS: (laughs) LAURA: And I'm going to--
MATT: Where? LAURA: Take my hand axe. I'm going to run forwards, towards the eyeball tail. MATT: Alrighty.
LAURA: And just-- (grunting) MATT: Go for it.
LAURA: Harley Quinn it. LIAM: Have fun, Charlie. SAM: Yeah.
(laughter) SAM: Feel free to kill Sprinkle, but don't harm Charlie.
MATT: You have advantage on the attack because of Stun, so-- LAURA: Oh ha ha, 27. MATT: 27, all righty. That hits. LAURA: So I do two additional d8 poison damage because of my--
MATT: You do. LAURA: Great. 12 points of damage. MATT: 12 points of damage. You got it.
LAURA: Seven of those are poison. MATT: As you sink your axe into it and pull back, you see its blood arc a bit, but behind it, there's also a spray of a weird greenish fog. As you hit it with the axe, you imparted this venomous element of poison to its body and pull away, and it-- (shrieking) It's shrieking in a weird-- in some ways you almost feel bad because it exhibits dog-like physicality-- ASHLEY: Oh no.
TALIESIN: Oh. MATT: But then the eye blinks in your direction with its horrible, pulsing, veiny exterior. You're like "This is bad, this is bad." LAURA: I'm going to say: here kitty, kitty. (chuckling) Doggy, doggy. Come on. And I'm going to back up and try and get back in the globe. MATT: All right, so then-- You can almost make it into the globe, but not quite. LAURA: Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. MATT: All right, finishing Jester's, go. Yasha, you're up. ASHLEY: Okay, I'm going to peep out of the dome and also try to attack Mr. Doggy-- MATT: Over here?
ASHLEY: Kitty, yes. TALIESIN: One problem is so much better than two. MATT: There you go.
ASHLEY: Okay. I would like to rage.
TRAVIS: (rage noises) MATT: You got it. How's that go again? ASHLEY: Bah bah bah bah. MARISHA: Can't be replicated. SAM: (babbley noises)
MARISHA: One of a kind. ASHLEY: Running low on these rages. Okay, I'm going to take my first swing-- MATT: Go for it.
ASHLEY: With my Holy Avenger. MATT: You have advantage on this because it is stunned. ASHLEY: Yes. Ooh, okay. Okay, 26. MATT: That definitely hits.
ASHLEY: Okay. So-- SAM: What were those? ASHLEY: The little tiniest ball--
SAM: Those are the cutest. ASHLEY: I know, they're so cute.
(chuckling) MATT: So Yasha, just roll your damage dice for your weapon. Because the additional damage that you'd normally do is radiant. It is immune to it. ASHLEY: Copy.
MARISHA: Shit. ASHLEY: Okay, so got it. MATT: So it's just the 2d6, plus your strength, plus your weapon modifier.
ASHLEY: Oh, just the 2d6. Okay, let me just roll that again. Okay, exactly the same. Okay, plus that, I think-- 19 points of damage for the first hit. MATT: Nice. ASHLEY: Second swing? MATT: Go for it, second swing.
ASHLEY: Okay. ASHLEY: Advantage still?
MATT: Yeah. Still advantage, still stunned. ASHLEY: Ooh, okay, 19? MATT: 19 definitely hits.
ASHLEY: Great. Ooh! MARISHA: It's like dropping diamonds. ASHLEY: Double sixes.
MATT: Nice. ASHLEY: Okay. Yeah, so 15-- MATT: Plus your weapon. ASHLEY: 15. 18. MATT: 18.
ASHLEY: Okay. (laughter) MARISHA: You're just the cutest. (laughter) ASHLEY: I'm bad at counting. Okay. MATT: All righty.
ASHLEY: Math. MATT: All right, that finish your turn? You still have movement if you want to try and shift a little bit, up to you. ASHLEY: Nah. MATT: Good on you. All right, Yasha, your turn's done. MATT: It is now--
ASHLEY: Might be dumb. MATT: -- this fellow's turn.
TRAVIS: Which one, eye-stalk? SAM: Or sex creature? TRAVIS: Oh yeah, okay.
LIAM: Yeah. MATT: This creature--
ASHLEY: Sex Bob-Omb. LIAM: Sex beast. MARISHA: Where are the Sex Bob-Ombs? LAURA: (laughs) We're gonna fuck shit up! TALIESIN: Oh, okay. MATT: You can see, as it runs along on the ground it uses its longer, stronger front arms to like pull itself forward, much like a gorilla with its lower legs tearing in. And as it rushes over it-- (swish) Has these massive jagged claws out and-- (growling) Now arcs forward with both--
LAURA: Oh no. No! MATT: I'm going to say both towards
you, Fjord, at the moment. TRAVIS: Okay. Sword's out. MATT: That is going to be a 19 to hit. TRAVIS: That hits. MATT: All righty, and the other is 26 to hit. TRAVIS: Oh yeah. MATT: All right, so you take-- Nine points of piercing damage. Plus seven points of force damage from one strike. TRAVIS: Wow.
MATT: As its claw hits you. And as it hits you, it cuts. And then there's this like burst within the claw, almost like there's this sudden shattering of some sort of magical aura, that continues to cut through you, beyond what the claw hits. As you like, pull back the other claw, gets you from behind and you take--
MARISHA: (whispers) What? MATT: That's cocked. LAURA: I don't like this creature.
MARISHA: Uh-uh. MATT: Nine points of-- sorry, that's slashing damage on both of them. So that's nine points of slashing damage. TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.
MATT: And then-- 10 points of force damage on the other strike. TRAVIS: Damn. MATT: So you like-- (impacts) grab on both sides. And as you recoil from the side, you turn, Caduceus. And as it finishes slashing into Fjord, it turns to you and-- (growling) it's going to go ahead and attempt to bite towards your face. TRAVIS: That's 35 points, man. MATT: Ooh!
SAM: Not the money maker. MATT: 27 to hit. TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah, it hits. MARISHA: (laughs) LIAM: That Telekinetic Watermelon
Bear is not fucking around. MATT: 14 points of piercing damage. TALIESIN: Motherfucker. MATT: And 10 points of force damage-- TALIESIN: Ooh.
LIAM: Oh. MATT: To your face, as it bites down and as it chomps, it releases you as the same sort of, almost like an air bullet from each one of its teeth, blast into your face and you pull away. As Caduceus rears back and makes an instinctual pain sound, you see a spray of Caduceus' blood through the air. TRAVIS: On the two strikes against me, it takes a combined 16 points of radiant damage-- LAURA: Oh, but it's immune to radiant damage-- TRAVIS: Not.
LAURA: No-- TRAVIS: We don't know, it might be. MATT: As it blasts, it doesn't even react. TRAVIS: Awesome, I will use the reaction to teleport 10 feet to the opposite side of it. MATT: All righty. TRAVIS: Put my back against the wall. LAURA: Oh no, but you're out of the Globe. TRAVIS: 10 feet radius--
MARISHA: To beat, yeah. LAURA: Of the Globe? TRAVIS: Yeah, it didn't get hit. SAM: Wait, what?
LAURA: It hasn't gone off yet. MATT: Not yet, you haven't seen it. MARISHA: Okay. MATT: That finishes its turn. Veth, you're up. Caleb, you're on deck. SAM: I would like to shoot the one that's stunned in front of us. I know that this sex monster's menacing us from the side. But I feel like that one's almost closer to death. So I'm going to try to take out the stunned one. MATT: Sure, you have advantage on the strike. SAM: Okay, 22 to hit.
MATT: That hits. SAM: 12, 18, 24, 25, 26, 27. 33 points on the first one.
MATT: Ooh, nice! SAM: And the second, I will bonus action also shoot, this time with Sharpshooter. MATT: Hell yeah, go for it. SAM: 24 to hit.
MATT: That hits. SAM: And that's eight plus 10. So 18 points. MATT: 18 points, nice. As you're all shooting it and Yasha is up against it, slashing into it, the creature is starting to show some serious wear and tear, it's starting to bleed onto the ground. As it is trying to regain its senses after being thoroughly stunned and beaten by Beauregard, it's thrashing and splattering the wall with its own gore. You're going to stay put? SAM: I don't want to leave this space. Can I stay in the dome, but sort of crouched behind that little, tiny pedestal in front of me? MATT: You would be leaving the dome if you were to go behind this pedestal, unless you want to go on this side. SAM: Yeah, staying in the dome, but sort of like-- oh, I see. Oh, I can't go to the other side of it? MATT: Other side, you will technically
be outside of the dome. SAM: (frustrated noise) Then I will-- Who's next to me? Fjord? MATT: There's Beauregard right there. SAM: I will hide behind Beauregard. MATT: Right there? SAM: Yes.
MATT: Okay. SAM: Oh wait, I'm sorry, well, no. I think that-- The thing-- this creature's stunned in front of us with the eyeball thing--
MATT: Yeah. SAM: I feel like they're going to shoot a beam at us. So I want to be behind Beauregard. MATT: Okay, so like here?
SAM: Yeah. MATT: Okay.
SAM: Beauregard-- So right back to where you were? SAM: Yeah, sorry, I can't see.
(laughter) LIAM: You're using the halfling trait, right? SAM: Yeah.
LIAM: Of hiding behind the-- MATT: All right, so you're behind there. You use your bonus action to attack, so you cannot actually hide. SAM: I'll just huddle. MATT: Okay, you are huddled behind,
loosely, nearish to Beau. You got it. And oh, I accidentally-- haha, that's funny. SAM: Who's that?
MATT: That is technically, your echo that I somehow threw on there accidentally. LAURA: (laughs) So you can actually-- LAURA: Was that supposed to be Charlie? Oh, I think that was Charlie. MATT: I was using as Charlie. We're just saying Charlie's on your back. LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: For the purposes of this. SAM: Are Charlie and Sprinkle having a conversation? LAURA: They are-- well, Sprinkle's just screeching at him. MATT: Yep. (screeches) All right, that finishes your go.
LAURA: Maybe Charlie can understand him. SAM: Yeah.
MATT: All right. Caleb, you're up. ASHLEY: Maybe Charlie can speak-- LAURA: Weasel!
ASHLEY: Yeah. LIAM: So I'm not going to move, because I don't want to pull the staff off of anyone. I'm just going to drag the dust along my arm and almost point-blank range, shoot the Disintegrate ray into the green meanie's face. MATT: Okay, go for it. LIAM: So that's a dex save on their part, yeah? MATT: A dex save! Got it. MATT: It does have advantage on this. Natural 19. LIAM: Oh, so yeah, saved.
MATT: It saves. LIAM: Yeah, goes over shoulder, that's fine. MATT: You turn towards it and aim. It gets low and just arcs off, hits the stone wall behind it. And, (swish) it is gone. Fjord, as you're standing there suddenly you're leaning back and you hear this (swish) sound and you glance over your shoulder. And there's just a vacuous hole in the wall behind you and a pit about 10 feet below where you were standing, and your heels are just on the edge. LIAM: So that thing is fast. MATT: All right. Staying put Caleb? LIAM: Yeah, I'm not going to take that bubble off of anyone. MATT: All righty, no worries. All right, finishing Caleb's go. It is now Caduceus. Fjord, you're on deck. TALIESIN: Just because we have too many problems right now and I got what you were trying to do. I'm going to try Banishment on this thing. MATT: On the green one?
TALIESIN: On the green one. MATT: All righty. That is a wisdom save? TALIESIN: That is a-- actually, a charisma save. MATT: Charisma, got it. With advantage on that. Natural 20. LIAM: Ooh.
TALIESIN: Fucking fuck. TRAVIS: Wow.
MARISHA: Ooh. MATT: (sighs) Sorry, buddy. LIAM: Just can't compete with its sexual energy. MARISHA: I know.
MATT: Right? MARISHA: Look at his little, like Speedo he's wearing. LAURA: Yeah, I know he's wearing-- TALIESIN: Well, I'm a little fucked next round. MARISHA: He came to party.
TALIESIN: Shit! (laughter)
TRAVIS: "He came to party." (laughter) LAURA: Pretty sure those are leather. TRAVIS: He saw the dancing, and he was like-- LIAM: Yeah, play the Right Said Fred music. (laughter) TALIESIN: I'm going to use the last of my-- my moment to just do a Hidden Step and see if that helps. So I'm turning invisible. MATT: Okay, so you are-- MARISHA: He doesn't have sex organs-- TALIESIN: Actually--
MARISHA: --and we're just like, meh. I'm invisible.
LIAM: Got a Speedo. MATT: Yeah?
MARISHA: Yeah. TALIESIN: I'm going to try and make a break for it. I'm going to go to the other side of the-- MATT: Of the dome?
TALIESIN: Yeah. LIAM: Oh boy.
TALIESIN: There. MATT: It does not see you. Does not get to take a reaction on you, you're fine. ASHLEY: Nice, nice. MATT: That finish your go? TALIESIN: Yep.
MATT: Fjord, you're up. TRAVIS: Right, well, there's a (mumbling) a hole behind me now. I'm going to... (random noises) cast Thunder Step and get the fuck out of here. Just in case I was wrong about this thing going off and I'm going to take a knee and poof! Explode and go in this direction over here. MATT: All right. (swoosh) (poof) TRAVIS: And that is 5d10 thunder damage. LAURA: Whoa.
MARISHA: Nice. LAURA: Thunder, thunder, thunder. MATT: Is that a dex save for them? TRAVIS: Yes, constitution. MATT: Oh, constitution, good to know.
LAURA: Thunder, thunder. LAURA: Thunder damage!
(laughter) MATT: 17? TRAVIS: 18. MATT: So it does not save. TRAVIS: And it is 36 points of thunder damage. MATT: Nice. TALIESIN: Okay. MATT: As you slam the sword downward and-- (blast) The heavy sound echoes through the chamber and now the halls around you shaking like bits of stone and dust from the ceiling above. And the creature-- (grunts) gets blown partially forward, catches itself and you can't see the back of it, but it looks like it took the full brunt of that. As you, (swish) appear to the other side, showing the hall that you're standing in now curving to the left. TRAVIS: Is there anything I can
just see in my immediate landing? MATT: Down this way? TRAVIS: Yes.
MATT: The hall continues. TRAVIS: Just a hallway, okay. LAURA: Oh, it just (swoosh) and it comes back together? MATT: And racing down this way-- TRAVIS: Cool.
LAURA: Uh-oh. MATT: Called by the sound of the chaos, it looks like a-- TRAVIS: Not the thunder, just the chaos.
MATT: Yeah. MARISHA: (laughs) MATT: It now has more reasons to be excited.
TRAVIS: Uh-huh. MATT: But another one of these
creatures is (rapid stomping sounds) this panther-like entity is just charging in the direction where you're coming. TRAVIS: Panther-like, not gorilla?
LAURA: The eyeball one. MATT: Correct.
LIAM: Okay, Cat-Dog. MATT: Up there.
TRAVIS: Good, good, good, good. LAURA: I forget what this creature was called. It was called something in the test tubes. You would remember. LIAM: If that was within a month. MATT: That was an Aeorian Absorber. SAM: Absorber.
MARISHA: Absorber. TALIESIN: I don't like that. MATT: That finish your turn?
ASHLEY: I don't like that at all. LIAM: Do you go in its eye? TALIESIN: You've got movement. TRAVIS: I do have movement-- MATT: Yeah, because you have not moved yet. TRAVIS: I'll just come to the-- Mother bitch, I'll just come right here, so I'm at the lip of the hallway. I want to get five more feet out of it. MATT: Right here?
TRAVIS: No, closer to you. I'm sorry to your left, sorry. TALIESIN: You're okay getting hit by the-- MATT: You got it. TRAVIS: I don't think I'll get hit in there, though. MATT: So you back up a little bit. All right.
SAM: No one's gotten hit yet. I think it's fine.
MATT: That finishes Fjord's go. It's that first absorber's turn. He is stunned, cannot take his turn until the end of Beauregard's go. Beau, you're up first.
MARISHA: Ooh. MATT: Top of the round, what are you doing? MARISHA: So wait, absorber. Okay, I'm just going to try and finish this guy off in front of me. So I'm going to dart forward again, past Yasha. Come in for another round against this absorber. ASHLEY: Gonna make room for her. MARISHA: Thank you.
MATT: You got it. MARISHA: I give a little tap on
the side, while I pass Yasha. MATT: Advantage on your strikes. MARISHA: Advantage, oh right. MATT: He's stunned, don't forget.
MARISHA: Well, okay. Well, that's a 19 and a 17, so that is-- MATT: That definitely hits. MARISHA: Definitely hits on that first one. Second attack, also another natural 19 and a seven. So I'll take that 19.
MATT: Yeah, so first two hits. TRAVIS: Take that, take that, take that. MATT: Hit.
MARISHA: Hey-oh. Yeah, that's good. Okay, that first attack is going to be 10 damage total. And the second one is 13 damage. MATT: Second one was 13 damage, got it. MARISHA: So 23 together. MATT: All right, actually this guy would've-- I'll tell you this at the end of your turn, because it won't matter-- MARISHA: And I will go ahead and Stunning Strike it again, if it's not dead. MATT: All right, it is not dead.
MARISHA: It's not dead. Stunning Strike. MATT: That is a 14. MARISHA: He is stunned again!
MATT: Stunned again. That guy has done nothing this fight. MARISHA: Ha ha ha ha, I feel like a monk again! TRAVIS: --it's on the other side of the map, we don't know what they do.
MATT: All right. MARISHA: No--
MATT: You have your bonus action, still. MARISHA: Bonus action, might as well-- I'm going to just try and burn this
thing down. Flurry of Blows. Still advantage, right? MATT: Yep, because it's still stunned. MARISHA: Natural 20!
TRAVIS: Yes! MARISHA: 20 and a two! TRAVIS: Get it bitch!
MARISHA: Take that! Okay, and that second one, it hits. But it's not a natural 20, with a 25. MATT: Yep that hits, roll damage on each. MARISHA: Okay, so--
MATT: Crit first. MARISHA: So, first one is double the dice. Come on, give me something good. Woo, woo, they're all eight! Okay, so eight, 16, plus another seven is... LIAM: 23.
MARISHA: 23! MATT: All righty. MARISHA: And then second damage is 10. MATT: How do you want to do this?
ALL: (cheering) MARISHA: Okay, so I came in the first time. Did a few Mai Tai kicks. SAM: "Mai Tai"?
MARISHA: Yeah. <i>That</i> mai tai. And then-- (laughter) TRAVIS: (drunkenly) Fucking bitch! (laughter) LIAM: I kick, and I stretch. (laughter)
(clapping) MARISHA: And then I come back and I take my coconut from my fancy cocktail and I bash his head in. (laughter) TALIESIN: Okay.
MATT: Okay. MARISHA: I just now have a mai tai.
(laughter) TALIESIN: All right.
TRAVIS: It's still happy hour. MATT: Monks get all the abilities at the higher levels. Some in mai tai. MARISHA: Yeah, some in spring break.
(laughter) MATT: Okay, yeah. As you pummel it with your imaginary coconut, the creature fails to continue moving, SAM: (drunkenly) You're cute, where'd you come from? (laughter) MATT: --and collapses to the ground with a heavy whine, before it just-- the eye begins to flail about before going pale and then slumps to the ground unmoving. The creature is dead.
SAM: What does the eye do? MARISHA: Pale?
LIAM: Fjord's about to find out. MARISHA: That's weird. Okay, yeah, I scooch back into the circle again and I'm like, yeah, I don't know. It feels other-worldly, this thing. MATT: All right.
MARISHA: That's my turn. MATT: All right, because I forgot to take it, because technically you're on the same initiative. The other absorber's going to take his turn. TRAVIS: Cool. MATT: So the other absorber spins around. And is going to rush up to you. (rapid stomping sounds) TRAVIS: No, no, no. MATT: (chuckles) TRAVIS: Animal handling, heel! LIAM: Hi, doggy.
MATT: 30 feet there. It is going to make three attacks against you. TRAVIS: I should've taken-- I should have backed up more. SAM: How would you know?
TRAVIS: I was right, I had a feeling. MATT: With it's bite-- let's see here. No, actually. It's going to take two of its claws and those attacks against you are going to be-- 23 to hit? TRAVIS: Oh, yeah. MATT: Natural 20.
TRAVIS: Okay. TALIESIN: How many feet away? MATT: The creature is-- TALIESIN: No, Fjord. MATT: Fjord is--
TRAVIS: 15, 20, 25, 30. MATT: 35 feet from you. TALIESIN: 35 fucking-- MATT: You can count them.
SAM: (laughs) MATT: Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30- TALIESIN: Motherfucker.
MATT: 35. LAURA: Plus, I think you already used, you get that-- TALIESIN: No, my reaction is-- I get that many times. LAURA: That's awesome.
ASHLEY: That's so cool. TALIESIN: Yeah, nothing I can do about it. LIAM: Just out of reach. MATT: Sorry, buddy. TRAVIS: Step back one. TALIESIN: One more step. MATT: So you take 10 points of slashing damage. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: Along with six points of force damage. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: The crit-- (laughs) Only rolled a three, so that's six points of-- Ah, sorry, 11 points of slashing damage. Plus the five points of force damage. TRAVIS: All right. MATT: And it's going to, as it's slashing towards you, the eye (shushes) arcs above you. TRAVIS: There's the eye. MATT: Ignores you, looks over towards Caduceus, who's the closest to it. TALIESIN: I'm invisible. MATT: And does not look towards you. Instead, is going to fire towards Essek. MARISHA: (gasps)
MARISHA and SAM: No! LIAM: Oh, bubby. MARISHA: Hit Caduceus! No! (laughter) MATT: That hits.
TALIESIN: Even through the barrier? MATT: It's not a spell. TALIESIN: Oh shit.
TRAVIS: Oh. MATT: Yeah, this-- It doesn't block all magical everything, period. It blocks spells.
LIAM: Spells. TRAVIS: I didn't do the radiant because I figure it's immune like the other ones. MATT: So that, however--
LAURA: Why did it attack Essek instead of you? Maybe it can't-- SAM: Because it already did damage to Fjord. It wants to spread it around? TRAVIS: Yeah.
LAURA: Maybe. LIAM: I didn't see what it did. Maybe it can't. Maybe it needs long range. SAM: Maybe it looked at Fjord's wrists and deltoids, and it was like, it's fine.
TRAVIS: It could also be looking for arcane practitioners like wizards. LIAM: It could be.
TRAVIS: Yeah. LIAM: It could be a thing like when you don't want to use a bow and arrow right next to somebody. TRAVIS: Yeah.
SAM: What smells, Laura? LAURA: I smell, like, old food or something. MATT: Essek takes 24 points. MARISHA: (laughs) TRAVIS: 24, wow. MATT: Points of psychic damage.
TALIESIN: Okay. MATT: As the beam streaks forward and slams him, and you watch him go, "Augh!" And he's currently holding his--
LIAM: Oh no. MATT: Which, for the record, I'm going to do Essek's turn after this, because I keep forgetting, because you have too many players, and an NPC with you. TRAVIS: Yeah, baby.
ASHLEY: Oh my god. MATT: He's going to get his turn right after this creature. So anyway, that finishes its turn. Essek retracts from that. He rolled super low on his initiative, a natural four. But nevertheless, he's going to go ahead, and retort with his go. Essek is going to cast-- Let's do, let's do some fun-ness here. TRAVIS: Yeah, gimme that Duo Nancy! MARISHA: Mm-hmm. TRAVIS: I said Duo Nancy, but-- (laughter) TALIESIN: Good band. SAM: Good band, yeah. TRAVIS: Please welcome to the stage, Duo Nancy! MATT: Ugh, it doesn't work well for that necessarily. TALIESIN: Huh. LAURA: We are Duo Nancy, and we're here to fuck shit up! TALIESIN: One, two, three, four!
(laughter) MATT: Yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't help that he was behind the pillar first place. And so, I think he's right out of my field of view. MARISHA: (laughs) MATT: He's going to go ahead and step back, and turn this way, and he's going to go ahead, and cast Gravity Sinkhole back in this direction. TALIESIN: Yeah, they are.
MATT: Try and crush that creature right there. ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay. TRAVIS: Yeah. [inaudible] and get out of there. MATT: All right, so that is a constitution saving throw for that creature. Natural three, it's a fail. TRAVIS: Yes, fail, you bastard. MATT: So he takes 5d10 force damage. MARISHA: Kill him. SAM: (husky voice) You guys like to party? MARISHA: (laughs) Get outta here, Chad. TRAVIS: (laughs) Chad? SAM: (Chad voice) What? MATT: 29 points of force damage to that guy. LAURA: Nice. SAM: Let's party. MATT: And it's pulled in a straight line towards the sphere, ending on-- So it pulls him (shh) right there. SAM: Oh.
LAURA: Yes, yes. MATT: And so, as he spins around, and you watch as he takes the impact from his brain, spins between the group as he's gliding there, turns around, and puts his hands in the air, and (grunts) rakes them through from the sky to the floor. And as it does, you watch this black sphere apparate in that space, consuming the creature. You hear this howl as the sphere collides into a center point, and you see the creature for a brief moment getting spaghettified towards its center point. Its body gets tugged and pulled unnaturally stretched forward, taking all of this damage as it's yanked in there, and nearly stumbles to the ground before catching itself. As Essek, "(panting)" Rights himself in the middle of the chaos. TRAVIS: Beautiful.
SAM: So the monster's still alive? MATT: Oh yeah.
LAURA: He got spaghettified and he survived it. SAM: Whoa. MATT: Jester, you're up. Yasha, you're on deck. LAURA: Whoa. I'm going to--
MATT: A little timey-wimey there. MARISHA: Hmm? MATT: A little timey-wimey with the initiative there, but we got all those rounds in, which is important. ASHLEY: Is he stuck where he is? Or that was just-- He got spaghettified? MATT: No, he got, he gets pulled towards the center of the sphere, and takes the damage. ASHLEY: Got it, okay, okay, okay. MATT: He is where he is now. LAURA: Did the blue pulsing light ever go off or anything? MATT: Not yet. LAURA: Okay.
MARISHA: Hmm. LAURA: I am going to do the thing that I can do right now. And I'm assuming I'm--
Well, I'm going to run forward to where I'm within 20 feet of the green guy. MATT: Okay, about 20 feet to be there-- TALIESIN: He may not be magically safe. You might be able to nail him with magic stuff. LAURA: Oh.
TALIESIN: We didn't extract aspects, so we don't know if he-- LAURA: That's true, well, I don't want to waste a spell if not, I'm just going to chuck my handaxe at him! TALIESIN: Wow.
MATT: Yeah! Go for it. (whooshing) Go ahead and roll an attack. LAURA: (laughs) 25! MATT: That hits, go ahead and roll damage. TALIESIN: So excited. MATT: But your handaxe is now embedded in the creature, you have to get within melee of it to retrieve it. LAURA: Shit! (laughs) LIAM: You hit me in my ear!
LAURA: I know! TRAVIS: Yep. LAURA: (singing gibberish) Nope. (singing gibberish) Why do I roll so fucking low all the fucking time? (laughter) LIAM: You just rolled really high, you hit.
LAURA: 11! MATT: I don't know, there was that
hundred points of damage you did that one time. LAURA: Sure.
MATT: But how much was that? That was a total of--
LAURA: 11. MATT: 11. 11 points of damage, that axe is now-- LAURA: Wait, wait, let me make sure I sure I did that. MATT: -- into its chest clavicle area. (groaning) (roaring) SAM: Oh.
MARISHA: In the clavicle. MATT: Imagine that terrible
screaming bear sound from Annihilation that-- MARISHA: Oh yeah. MATT: (horrific screeching) ASHLEY: Horrifying.
TRAVIS: Oh god, fucking jeez. MATT: I love it, so much.
TRAVIS: Yes, I remember, I remember! ASHLEY: Yeah.
MARISHA: Yeah, layer in. MATT: All right, does that finish your turn? LAURA: I-- yeah. MATT: All right, Jester's up. Yasha, your turn. ASHLEY: Okay.
LAURA: I need to sleep, you guys. ASHLEY: Oh, dang, I can't do my-- TRAVIS: Sleepy after this. ASHLEY: Zealous Presence, I've already used it. Okay, I'm going to run over to the big boy. MATT: Over here?
ASHLEY: Yep. TRAVIS: There's another one up here! (laughter) MATT: You hear as you turn and look, and there's one just currently harrying Fjord down the hallway. LAURA: (yells) MATT: Yasha, what are you doing?
ASHLEY: I'll take a swing! MATT: All right, go for it.
MARISHA: It's always Fjord! (laughter) TRAVIS: Follow my voice! ASHLEY: 24. MATT: 24 does hit.
ASHLEY: Yay! Okay, we don't know--
Radiant does not work with this one? We already know this?
MATT: We'll find out. Go ahead and roll your weapon damage and your radiant damage separately. ASHLEY: Okay. This one is-- We'll make those two. So that is. I'm really sorry, guys, I'm so bad at math. 16, wait. 29, that's without radiant. MATT: 29 damage? ASHLEY: Yeah.
MARISHA: Wow. MATT: For 2d6 plus-- ASHLEY: 2d6, eight plus. MATT: Plus your strength, which is three, plus your weapon, which is three, plus your rage, which is four, right? ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on, I calculated this wrong. (sighs) So embarrassing having to do this on fucking camera! (laughter) TRAVIS: Math is every barbarian's weakness. MATT: It's all good, yeah, all the math-- ASHLEY: Sorry, 18. MATT: 18, got it.
ASHLEY: That makes more sense. MATT: And what's the radiant?
TRAVIS: -- reverse math. ASHLEY: Seven.
LIAM: Every one of us has screwed up math. MATT: You strike through, and as the blade carves through its body, (hisses) it reacts to it, and you see the burst of radiant energy scatter off with no additional effect.
ASHLEY: Do nothing. TALIESIN: Mm-hmm. All right, good to know.
ASHLEY: All right. TRAVIS: All that adding for nothing, you <i>dick</i>! ASHLEY: I know, second hit. MATT: Second hit, roll for damage.
Roll for attack, sorry. ASHLEY: 21.
MATT: 21 hits. ASHLEY: Yep.
MATT: Roll damage for the second one. ASHLEY: Okay. Ooh, hoo hoo. 21 points of damage. MATT: Nice! SAM: Nice roll, Jester. MARISHA: Whoa, did you get that too? TRAVIS: Yeah, if you do it on the thing, it shows it to everyone.
MARISHA: It shows it to everyone in the campaign? ASHLEY: Oh yeah! LAURA: Oh, really? I was just hitting the button. MARISHA: It was like, "Jester rolled this--" Whoa! Fjord rolled of Cone of Cold damage. ASHLEY: Whoa!
LAURA: We can do that, and everyone can know what we do, that's so cool!
ASHLEY: Yeah, that's cool. TALIESIN: We wouldn't have noticed if we were making eye contact all the time.
MATT: D&D Beyond, a great tool for campaign planning. MARISHA: Wow, you learned something new. LAURA: I'm going to do that because I'm, you know. But then, wait, then I got to do the 2d8.
TRAVIS: What about all those real dice you have? LAURA: I know, okay.
But this seems fun right now! MATT: Old hat, Travis! TALIESIN: Wow.
MATT: That finish your turn, Yasha? ASHLEY: I can't, as a bonus action, try to pull the axe out and give it to Jester, can I? MATT: Mm.
ASHLEY: Yeah, that's a lot. MATT: I could allow it.
ASHLEY: All right. I'm going to give it a go. MATT: Make a strength check
because it is a quick yank-out. Both hands are on your sword, so it's a cursory thing just for the hell of it. Do a strength check, you have advantage.
LAURA: I didn't do a lot of damage, so it's not deeply embedded. ASHLEY: 19. MATT: (whooshing) You pull it out and hand it back over your shoulder--
LAURA: Yes! MARISHA: Oh, that's dope! MATT: You throw it and Jester, she's a ways away, so you chuck it behind. You're like, "Oh god!" And catch it midair. ASHLEY: Hand back on the hilt. At ready, and I'll stay.
LAURA: Thanks, Yasha! ASHLEY: You got it.
MATT: All right. So that finishes your turn.
TRAVIS: So boss, babe. ASHLEY: Yep. MATT: All right. The creature--
LAURA: Brandishing the axe. MATT: -- kind of (sniffing). It's taking the damage from you and being wounded, but it's (sniffing) sniffing around you. At the top of its turn, the tower above (hisses), it's been blasting the orb around you, but is now (whooshes) the blast is coming towards that creature. MARISHA: Okay.
MATT: Which has advantage on it, which it does save against. LIAM: He's so fast.
ASHLEY: I was wondering about that. TALIESIN: Mm. LIAM: That guy looks like he's on the keto diet. LAURA: (laughs) MATT: He takes 11 points of lightning damage.
MARISHA: He's got to be in order to be buff for spring break, you know?
TALIESIN: Okay, okay. TRAVIS: 11?
MATT: 11 points of lightning damage. LAURA: Oh, okay, okay, okay.
LIAM: Tiny waist here. Big up top.
MARISHA: (laughs) MATT: And is going to--
TRAVIS: Right, thank you. MATT: -- shift around here. ASHLEY: Do I get an attack?
LIAM: Get out! MATT: No, because it never left your melee range. LIAM: Oh boy. MATT: But it has moved into the orb, where it's now seeing it apparating from the center boy.
LIAM: Oh boy. MATT: (growls) And it's going to go ahead and go all in against Caleb. LIAM: If I don't move, he won't see me.
LAURA and SAM: No! MATT: That's easy.
LIAM: Oh. MATT: (laughs) That is a 22 to hit. LIAM: Uh-- Yeah, it hits. MATT: Okay. (inhales) 24 to hit. LIAM: That one doesn't hit, strangely. Hits. MATT: All right, so it's two claw strikes against you. You take eight points of slashing damage, as well as-- Ooh! 12 points of force damage. As its claws slice into you, and it lifts you off the ground for a second, you watch it arcs upward as Caleb's lifted up, and then there's an additional burst in his chest, and it throws him about a foot off of the claws. Almost like it launches him into the air. And the other claw strikes down to catch him with a reversal from over top. LIAM: (groans)
LAURA: Uh-oh. MATT: That one deals six points of piercing damage, and 10 points of force damage. As you get slammed into the ground from the second strike blasting you onto the floor, you catch yourself on your hands and knees, as it opens its jaw, (hisses) and attempts to bite down towards you on the ground. For a 21 to hit? LIAM: Shield.
MATT: Shield? LIAM: <i>Ja</i>. MATT: As it bites down, you (groans) lift up your hand, and with that, this shimmering, yeah, this shimmering barrier, deflects its claws, or its teeth, and its jaw just skitters off to the side with a scraping sound, arcane sparks flying off. It (growling) picks up angrily, and begins growling at your space, frustrated that it couldn't get through for a third bite. But that's going to finish its turn. Veth, you're up. Caleb, you're on deck. LIAM: He's looking pretty rough. SAM: Oh boy, I'm going to jump up and sort of grab Caleb, and angrily point my weapon at the creature, like the woman yelling at the cat meme, you know, except it's me. And it's not a cat, it's a sex monster. (laughter) MATT: All righty.
SAM: Hey you, get away from my friend! And I'll shoot him in the face. MATT: Okay, roll an attack. SAM: Yeah. Oh, not great, 21. MATT: There was--
SAM: Oh, why did I roll twice? MATT: I don't know why.
SAM: I don't know. Should I throw them both out, or--? MATT: Just roll one more. SAM: Okay. Ooh, that's a natural one. LAURA: Aw. TRAVIS: Oh, and your crossbow. MATT: Yep, so you miss it and you hurt yourself. SAM: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. Luckily, I only take five points of damage. MATT: As you turn, holding Caleb. SAM: I've got you, Caleb, (yells)! MATT: (arrow impact)
(laughter) Shink! (arrow vibrating) (laughter)
All right. LAURA: I always love that sound. ASHLEY: (arrow vibrating) SAM: I'm going to fire again, bonus action.
MATT: Just a small one. ASHLEY: I just think of those little door things. MATT: Yep.
ASHLEY: When you were just a kid. MATT: It's the bigger blades that (vibrating)! All right. SAM: I'll fire again.
MATT: Go for it. LAURA: Oh, I spent so much time as a kid. ASHLEY: Oh my gosh, yep.
MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs) SAM: Way better. 29 to hit. MATT: That'll hit, go ahead and roll damage. SAM: And I think I still get sneak attack damage because he's engaged with my friend? MATT: Indeed. ASHLEY: We got to get one of those for Ronin. LAURA: Yes! MARISHA: Yeah. SAM: Okay, cool. 42 points of damage.
LAURA: Whoa! MATT: How do you want to do this? ALL: Oh! ASHLEY: Yes! SAM: Is he wearing a G-string? Or is that just poetic license?
MATT: No, that is just the pattern of the flesh.
SAM: Cool, cool, cool. MATT: But it might be a G-string.
MARISHA: He could be. MATT: You can't tell from the-- SAM: No, I think I've close enough proximity, I'm going to just shove the crossbow in its mouth. MATT: As it's leaning over Caleb, trying to bite into the Shield, and you jam it up under its throat. (gags) SAM: You can't have sex with my friend. (laughter) SAM: And I'll squeeze the trigger. MATT: And it just collapses onto the Shield. SAM: Oh, god! MATT: And as you're noticing it basically draped over Caleb, probably going to crush him when that Shield vanishes, you angle it to the side, and it slides and slumps onto the floor next to you. TRAVIS: Nice.
SAM: Yes! MATT: All righty. TRAVIS: There's another one up here! SAM: Welp, we did it, guys! Let's go down the hall! TRAVIS: (yelps) MATT: All righty, that finishes Veth's turn. SAM: Yeah.
MATT: Caleb, you're up. LIAM: Yeah, so Caleb is a bloody mess, and he was about to cast a spell centered on the column, but now I don't have to, and instead I hear Fjord go, (yelling). And I hold a black marble out in that direction, and copy my Kryn colleague, and cast Gravity Sinkhole in the far wall behind the eyeball-butt creature. MATT: Okay, pulling it that way? LIAM: Towards-- past Fjord. TRAVIS: Yeah. LIAM: And I will destroy another wall, possibly. MATT: Oh, so you're doing-- TRAVIS: I think he's saying this way. LIAM: Gravity Sinkhole.
MATT: Gravity Sinkhole, yeah. LIAM: Exactly where Travis was saying. MATT: Okay, so, what's the save on it? LIAM: It is constitution save. MATT: Constitution. WIth advantage, that is 19. LIAM: It saves, so it takes the damage, but it doesn't get pulled. It takes half damage.
MATT: Takes half damage. All right, so go ahead and roll full damage. LIAM: Yep. MATT: (impacts) Oh, it doesn't get pulled, it just stays there. LIAM: Rolled pretty high, though. (counting) TALIESIN: My thing keeps changing. LIAM: 18 points, half damage is 18. MATT: Okay, that's 18 points of damage. I need you to make a dexterity saving throw for me. LIAM: Okay.
LAURA: Uh-oh. SAM: Dexterity saving throw? LAURA: Oh no, should we have all been rolling d20s for our magic? MATT: Yeah, I keep forgetting that. That's my bad, too much to organize. We'll do that here in a second. We'll do a round of rolls. LIAM: Rolled real low, but I equipped the Ring of Evasion, so I will choose to succeed. MATT: Okay, there you go, so mark that. As the tail looks up, and as the magical energy bursts, the eye seems to glow with energy, and you see it try and force a portion of the arcane power that you cast back at you, and you just dodge past it. And you watch a portion of that gravity well open up to nothing behind you. SAM: Whoa.
TRAVIS: It deflected. MARISHA: Absorber. MATT: So to go around real fast, roll a d20, roll a d20. And what did you--? TALIESIN: I rolled an unsuccessful Banish. MATT: Right, so roll a d20 for me. TRAVIS: I rolled a 19. MATT: 19. LIAM: Five. TALIESIN: 12. MATT: Okay. Fjord, go ahead and roll a d100 for me, please. (groaning)
LIAM: Yay! ASHLEY: Ooh! TALIESIN: I am here for this. MATT: I have a big old note here saying, "Aeor spells, make them roll," and I just keep forgetting.
TRAVIS: 34. MATT: 34.
LAURA: Oh, wait! That's magical butterflies! (laughs) Everything--
MATT: Nope! MARISHA: It's all magical butterflies. MATT: All right. ASHLEY: It's Gelidon!
LAURA: Uh-oh. MATT: So that finishes Caleb's go.
LIAM: (deep voice) Hey. MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: Okay. Caduceus, you're up. TRAVIS: Nobody else had to roll a d100? LAURA: No, you were the only one that-- MATT: So Caleb, that's all you're doing on your turn? LIAM: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Horse nipples! MATT: Okay.
LIAM: Yeah, holding the line. MATT: You got it. TALIESIN: I'm getting a sense of how this is going. So I'm going to cast-- TRAVIS: Help! TALIESIN: I'm going to cast-- How hurt does Fjord look? TRAVIS: (yelps) (laughter) MATT: How hurt do you look? TRAVIS: 50%. Ah!
(laughter) MATT: So here's the good part. You look over at Fjord as he's doing this, and as he's shouting over his shoulder for help, he looks hurt, but there's something odd about him. LAURA: No. MATT: There's a darkness pouring down his face. ASHLEY: Ah.
SAM: A darkness? MATT: So what are you doing? MARISHA: What happened to you? TRAVIS: Fifth Element?
LIAM: What did you roll? TALIESIN: I'm going to-- To start with, I'm going to cast--
LIAM: You're turning into the Ring girl! LAURA: (gasps) TRAVIS: Shut up. MARISHA: Your worst nightmare. TALIESIN: -- Bless on him. MATT: Bless on him? TALIESIN: On him, on Fjord, myself, and Veth. I'm actually going to have to move a little bit closer to him to do that. MATT: Yes, you would have to get-- TRAVIS: I will sleep in the kitchen. MATT: -- there.
ASHLEY: Doesn't work with my hair. TALIESIN: Yeah. MATT: You're no longer invisible, but you are there. Okay?
TALIESIN: And then I'm going to-- MATT: So he's blessed, you're blessed, you said? TALIESIN: I'm blessed and Veth is blessed. MATT: Got it.
SAM: Oh! Thank you. TALIESIN: I want you to hit things. SAM: But I'm good at that. TALIESIN: And actually, well, that's fine. I'm going to then spend-- Something's wrong with Fjord. We should probably do something, I don't know. And I'm going to see if I can get out of the way of the electric thing before it-- LIAM: I've always thought so as well. MATT: Going where? TALIESIN: Down into the cubby over there. MATT: Over here?
TALIESIN: No, the other way. MATT: Over here? TALIESIN: Down the hall that we just cleared. MATT: Okay, so--
LAURA: Oh, around. MATT: Moves five, 10, 15, 25, 30? TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: Okay, you got it. That finishes your turn? TALIESIN: Yep. MATT: Fjord, you're up. TRAVIS: With my bonus action, I'm going to cast Hex against this thing in front of me. MATT: Okay, so casting the spell Hex, or using your? TRAVIS: Yeah. Yeah, casting the spell Hex. TRAVIS: You got it. So it is hexed.
TRAVIS: At 1st-level. MATT: Well, as a warl-- Oh, you can cast a warlock spell as a paladin. Yeah, so you use your 1st-level paladin slot, because you can. ♪ Multiclassing. ♪ Something's getting in your eyes, too. SAM: Uh-oh. TRAVIS: It's just sweat.
LAURA: Oh no. TRAVIS: I'm just so-- Cool. MATT: You pull back, and your palm is filled with hair. LAURA: Hair?!
MATT: Yeah. SAM: (laughs)
MATT: What are you doing? LAURA: <i>Hair</i>?!
SAM: (laughs) LAURA: (laughs) TRAVIS: Cool! MARISHA: Oh my god. TRAVIS: At 5th-level, I will cast Armor of Agathys on myself. MATT: Now at this level too, as you do this, it isn't just ice particles, but a form of ice armor that encased your shoulders like a mantle of jagged ice shards. TRAVIS: Fuck yeah.
MARISHA: Cool. MATT: These pointed spaulders now jag out to the sides. Well done. TRAVIS: I regain 25 temporary hit points, and I say: Hit me now, bitch. What's wrong with my face?! (laughter) MATT: All righty.
TALIESIN: Oh boy. TRAVIS: And I will move-- I'll stay in its melee, and I'll move up towards just this side. Just move, yeah, 45, thank you. MATT: You got it, okay. Finishing Fjord's go, it is now the creature's turn. LAURA: Oh no. MATT: Yeah, it's going to go all in on you. It is super, super frustrated and angry. That's going to be two claw strikes and a... yeah, we'll go with a bite. So the claw strikes are 14 to hit? TRAVIS: Misses.
MATT: Misses. You just duck out of the way, using the blade to parry to the side. The next strike is a natural 20. TRAVIS: Cool. MATT: And the bite strike--
LIAM: Bite strike. MATT: -- is a 19. TRAVIS: 19 hits.
MATT: Okay. So first, the crit for the claw strike. That is nine points of slashing damage. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: Plus (laughs) two points of force damage, rolled terribly for the damage of the crit. TRAVIS: So is that doubled up already? MATT: Yeah, yeah.
TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: It rolled really bad. And then for its bite strike against you. Much better. 14 points of piercing damage. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: Plus eight points of force damage. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: And it takes 25 and 50 points of ice damage total.
TRAVIS: 50 points of ice damage. SAM: 50?
LAURA and ASHLEY: Whoa. TRAVIS: Yarr.
MATT: Yeah, dude. Armor of Agathys is no joke if things hit you in melee. TRAVIS: Okay, great. MATT: Still have temporary hit points up? TRAVIS: Temporary hit points are-- I have two temporary hit points. MATT: Damn, all right. LIAM: Man, don't fuck with a warladin. MATT: The creature's going to go ahead and move over to this space here.
TALIESIN: Thought it was a clerlock. MATT: Still staying in the melee with you, but now it's starting to glance at the rest of the room around you. All right, that finishes its go. At the bottom is now Essek. Essek-- hmm. SAM: Is a bard monk a bank? MATT: (laughs) MARISHA: A bank?
SAM: Yeah. LAURA: A bonk. SAM: A bonk. MARISHA: Oh, bonk is pretty good. MATT: He's going to go ahead and cast-- ASHLEY: Pallock? TALIESIN: For blood hunter, you just put blood in front of anything. Blood wizard, blood cleric. MATT: (laughs) TALIESIN: Blood monk. LAURA: That's pretty cool.
TALIESIN: Blood barbarian. MATT: There is a blood cleric. TALIESIN: Actually, that's true. MATT: He's going to cast Magic Missile at 5th-level. LIAM: Pew, pew. TRAVIS: Do I need to roll d20s--
MARISHA: Cleric and a paladin-- TRAVIS: -- for casting those two spells?
MARISHA: -- would just be a cleridin. MATT: You do, yes.
TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: Well, Hex, you don't have to, because it was a 1st-level. MARISHA: For when your allergies are real bad.
TRAVIS: For Armor of Agathys? MATT: For Armor of Agathys, you do. Roll that for me. TRAVIS: 16. MATT: Roll another d100 for me, please. LAURA: Oh (laughs) no!
TALIESIN: Yeah! LAURA: ♪ Covered in hair and also-- ♪ MATT: Actually no, sorry, sorry, you're fine, you're fine. TRAVIS: 16's okay? MATT: 16's fine. Sorry.
TRAVIS: Okay. LIAM: They warned you that you'd get hair on your palms. MATT: You just, just missed it. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: Essek, however, does have to make a roll. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: 16, you guys are fucking lucky.
TRAVIS: Coast clear, cool! MATT: Coast's clear, however, that is 7d4 plus seven points of damage to this thing. As Essek floats up a bit in the air, and releases his hand like this, and as he does, these five darts out of his hand and then two out of his palm (whoosh) rush around and arc out towards the sides of the hallway before all exploding into the center, hitting it from all sides. And you see this burst of force energy in the middle. ASHLEY: Cool.
TRAVIS: Yeah, slow death. LIAM: Seven missiles.
MATT: I love that shit. ASHLEY: What is it?
MARISHA, TALIESIN, and LIAM: Magic Missile, LIAM: It auto-hits. MARISHA: Good old classic, yeah.
LIAM: (zooming, explosion) TRAVIS: Heat-seeking.
ASHLEY: Good to know. TALIESIN: It's the dark side Unibeam. LAURA: Didn't you have a wand that could do that? SAM: I did, I did. Scanlan had a lot of-- lot of wands.
MATT: Ooh, those are good rolls. 29 points of force damage to it. SAM: Don't we have a Wand of Smiles? How come we never use that?
LAURA: I do. I have a Wand of Smiles. SAM: You should use that more.
MATT: More creatures need to smile. SAM: Yeah.
LAURA: You're right. MATT: All right, and Essek's going to go ahead and drift off to this side, and try and put more distance between him and the creature, while staying within the radius, as he drifts back and goes, "Caleb, are you all right?" LIAM: No. MATT: "Me neither." TRAVIS: There's another one! (laughter) MATT: Beau, you're up first. Jester, you're on deck. MARISHA: Oh, lordy, it's me? Oh, goodness gracious. Okay, can I make it to eye-butt monster? MATT: Maybe, what's your movement? MARISHA: 55. MATT: Yeah, you're fine.
ASHLEY: Did you say eye-bud? MARISHA: Eye, yeah, yes. MATT: You Super Saiyan teleport, just (zooming) you're there. MARISHA: And I'm going to slide in like I'm sliding into home base, and then pop-pop, pop-pop!
TRAVIS: Oh, thank god. MATT: Go for it. TALIESIN: Is that flanked? MARISHA: Ooh, oh. MATT: Technically that is, yeah, so you'd have advantage. MARISHA: Oh, I have advantage? MATT: Mm-hmm.
MARISHA: Oh, thank god. Okay, well, this first one's really bad. So, 15 total. MATT: 15 just hits. MARISHA: No fucking way, I rolled a three. Okay, fine, great, I'll take it. MATT: This creature's AC is not crazy. MARISHA: But bad damage roll, too. Nine damage, Stunning Strike, though. MATT: Nine damage. The one that actually has a writing pencil. MARISHA: He's got to be close to dead, though, right? MATT: Woof! It's 22, I don't know what to tell you. I had good luck on that one. LIAM: Look at that look. MARISHA: Fine, the second hit-- MATT: Look, look, look, stun is the bane of my existence as a DM, so whenever it does go, I'm like, I have to celebrate a little bit. MARISHA: That's good. MATT: It shuts my shit down. MARISHA: 20 total. So that is 13 damage on that next one? MATT: 13 damage on the second hit. MARISHA: How's he looking? MATT: He's looking a little rough, starting to show some serious wear and tear. MARISHA: All right, all right, I'm not going to Stunning Strike. MATT: You're not going to Stunning Strike? Okay. MARISHA: But I will Flurry of Blows. MATT: Go for it. MARISHA: Still have advantage, yeah? MATT: You do. MARISHA: All right, that next one
definitely hits with 30 total. And those are both 11s for 23. MATT: All righty, that hits. MARISHA: So damage for the first one is going to be 11, and for the second one, 10, so 21 altogether for those. MATT: Nice, all righty. As you slide in, pummeling it from underneath, it's starting to bleed onto you, that same darker, purple-black blood is starting to hit the sides of your abdomen as you're just striking it from underneath. And you start pulling yourself out, and getting ready to get into a defensive position. It's looking pretty hurt. MARISHA: Do I have any more movement? MATT: You would have 10 feet of movement. MARISHA: Can I just shift to the
side to get out of people's way? So shifting towards-- where am I? My perspective is off, like this wall over-- MATT: Over here?
MARISHA: No, the wall, the wall-- MATT: Over here?
MARISHA: Sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, in that corner-- MATT: Right there?
MARISHA: That's fine, that's great. TRAVIS: I was starting to think you couldn't hear me. Is there something on my face? MARISHA: (horrified noises) TRAVIS: What do you see? MARISHA: Uh--
LAURA: What <i>do</i> you see? MATT: You see--
MARISHA: What do I see? MATT: -- a bunch of dark hair smattered
across parts of Fjord's face. Yeah.
MARISHA: It's a look, it's a look. TRAVIS: What?
LIAM: You're finally a werewolf, finally. LAURA: Is it, like, long or is it short hair? MATT: Like, it looks like short hair. LAURA: You're a werewolf! MATT: But you don't have a great look at the moment. Jester, it's your turn. LAURA: I'm going to run forward. I'm going to run forward and say: I'll save you, Fjord! And I can't get all the up to him, probably. MATT: You can get there. LAURA: I'm going to chuck my handaxe. (laughs) (laughter) ASHLEY: Kill him!
MATT: (claps) MATT: Roll for an attack.
TRAVIS: Watch out for the lightning! LAURA: Gyah! Natural 20! (cheering) MATT: No shit. MARISHA: It's Crit Faire, bitches! MATT: Straight up. (laughter)
TALIESIN: The most ren faire shit. MATT: Roll some damage. TRAVIS: Make those terrible axes--
LIAM: Huzzah to the big tipper! TRAVIS: Huh! LAURA: Eight plus three is eleven. TRAVIS: Handle first.
MARISHA: Yeah! It stuck, though!
LAURA: 22 plus four is 26 points of damage to the-- MATT: How do you want to do this?
(cheering) TRAVIS: What are the fucking chances? LAURA: I want to imagine that I threw it just perfectly, that it cleaves off the eyeball tail. MARISHA: Oh, that's good! MATT: It does, and the tail just hits the ground. And at first you're like, well, let's just a minor wound. There is a major artery that connects through this tail, and it just begins to gush blood in an uncontrollable way. You see, as it turns and growls at you (snarling) and starts getting slightly more and more tired before it falls unconscious on the path to bleeding out here on the floor. LIAM: No doggo. LAURA: Good night, sweet eyeball-butt monster. (laughter) MATT: With that, the combat comes to an end, and you all take a moment to breathe. As I need both Yasha and Jester to make dexterity saving throws, because you start your next turn within the radius of the tower.
MARISHA: Oh. LAURA: Yep, yep, yep! SAM: Oh.
MARISHA: But-- but I don't? MATT: You are just beyond the radius. LAURA: N-n-n-n-nineteen! MATT: That's a success.
LAURA: 23 total. MATT: Nice, you take nine points of lighting damage. SAM: Oh. ASHLEY: 19 as well. MATT: Nine points of lightning damage. SAM: Not so bad. MATT: As it (shushing) these heavy arcs of lightning streak out and hit both of you (shushes) from behind, and you both (grunts) catch your breath for a second, and you see it pulsing and getting ready for another-- LIAM: Okay, let's limp out of the way here. We don't have much time left. LAURA: Move forward, move forward. MARISHA: Which hall? SAM: Is this some sort of ape creature? LAURA: I'm just going to go forward
and try to get out of the-- LIAM: I'm going towards Caduceus with the staff.
TALIESIN: I'm going to go see what's round the other side of this hall. MATT: Okay. ASHLEY: Yeah, I'm going to make my way to that, ♪ making my way ♪ to that, where Caduceus is. ♪ (weird voice) Caduceus. MARISHA: (weird voice) Caduceus!
LIAM: (weird voice) I am Caduceus. SAM: (weird voice) Hello, my name is Caduceus. MATT: The two hallways eventually merge, though one is heavily blockaded with rubble that could be climbed through with some challenge. MARISHA: All right. MATT: But nevertheless. TALIESIN: I'll hop back in the bubble, then, and walk around with everyone else. MATT: Okay.
MARISHA: Yeah, we'll walk around. LIAM: Okay, and we got to be brisk, because we're probably out of time. TALIESIN: All right.
MARISHA: Okay. Go, go, go, go!
MATT: All right. LAURA: I get my handaxe. MATT: You retrieve your handaxe without issue. LAURA: And I grab the eyeball, and I put it in my bag, as a keepsake. MATT: The eyeball's pretty big. It will not fit into your bag. It is about that large. LAURA: Whoa!
LIAM: Whoa. LAURA: I kick the eyeball. TALIESIN: It's like a yoga ball. MATT: Yeah, it's soft and your foot breaks about an inch or two into it. LAURA: (gags) Fjord! TRAVIS: What's wrong with my face? SAM: What is going on?
TRAVIS: Tell me true. LIAM: What is this? TRAVIS: I don't know! SAM: Your eyes have mustaches. MARISHA: He looks like he's starting an emo band. LAURA: But like, is it-- so is
he just fully covered in hair? MATT: No, it's just hair, like, matted to his face from the sweat. MARISHA: Sweat? Can you wipe it? TRAVIS: What?
LIAM: His hair, or--? LIAM: Yeah, you wipe it and it comes free, and you look, and there's a bunch of black hair in your hand. ASHLEY: Uh-oh.
LAURA: (gasps) MARISHA: Does it grow back though?
TRAVIS: I just-- I start doing this. MATT: Yeah, you just start hitting it, and as you do, more hair begins to fall out the back of your head. LAURA: (gasps)
SAM: Oh! MATT: You start seeing patches of hair, parts of skin showing up throughout the scalp. LIAM: Oh. SAM: Oh, wait, it's not growing hair. It's falling off.
LAURA: He was growing hair-- Oh no, I was just-- (laughs) SAM: Oh no! TRAVIS: What about my--? LAURA: And everybody's laughing at his-- TRAVIS: What, wait, hold on, what
about my beard and my ball buns? MATT: So at this point, you realize that your beard, as you've been doing this, patches have been scraping off. TRAVIS: (anguished cry)
LIAM: Oh no. MARISHA: What? LIAM: What about down below? TRAVIS: (groaning)
ASHLEY: No, don't touch anything! TRAVIS: Okay. ASHLEY: It's all coming off because you're wiping it. SAM: But also, it's all coming off. ASHLEY: It's going to come off, but just, maybe it'll stay if you don't touch it. LAURA: Oh my gosh, Fjord. SAM: Oh no, do we even know-- Do you have a good bald head, or is it misshapen and weird?
LAURA: It's a perfect bald head! SAM: But we-- I've never seen it! TRAVIS: Are my eyebrows still? LIAM: It's all or nothing, Yasha, oh dear.
LAURA: Did he lose his eyebrows? ASHLEY: Oh, well, at this point you should just-- MATT: You don't know. MARISHA: They're patchy. TRAVIS: Don't touch it!
(laughter) SAM: I'm going to touch his eyebrows. TRAVIS: (shrieking) Don't you fucking--! SAM: Mage Hand! TRAVIS: Armor of Agathys! (laughter) MATT: Do you Mage Hand? SAM: Mage Hand!
(laughter) MATT: All right, and you rub an eyebrow? SAM: I just want to-- yeah, just like a (pop). MATT: It leaves a mark. The hair is gone where you-- (shouting, laughter) TRAVIS: How could you!? SAM: I had to know! (laughs) ASHLEY: Well, maybe you should just get rid of all of it. TRAVIS: I've only got one! (screech) there goes the other one. LIAM: Oh!
MARISHA: Oh no! LIAM: Oh my goodness. SAM: Oh no, you're like one of those, those faces with magnets, and like-- TRAVIS: Uh-huh? MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, the Mr. Woolies? SAM: Yeah. MATT: A classic Zemnian toy. TRAVIS: We should keep going! LAURA: Hey, you don't need hair, Fjord, don't worry. SAM: This is horrible. MARISHA: Yeah, maybe it'll wear off, in time. TRAVIS: It's just hair. ASHLEY: I mean, it'll all wear off, it seems like. MARISHA: (laughs) LAURA: Oh, but it'll come back. TRAVIS: Will it!? ASHLEY: Yes, hair grows. TALIESIN: I'm sure we can figure this out. TRAVIS: Yep, I'm sure, let's go onward. TALIESIN: We should find a place to sleep. TRAVIS: Are there any blood-- is there-- what-- the trail that we followed in here, do we see anything on the floor? MATT: There's all sorts of blood, your own-- TRAVIS: Fuck! ASHLEY: I have an idea! TRAVIS: What?
ASHLEY: I could cut some of my hair, and then we could use the sovereign glue, and put it on your head! SAM: Ooh, the sovereign glue will keep it! ASHLEY: It'll keep it on there forever. MARISHA: So it could be like a salt and pepper thing. LAURA: I don't-- TRAVIS: Maybe we keep that as a last resort. ASHLEY: Maybe we should go, this is a bad time-- LIAM: Let's just sleep on it.
LAURA: Yasha, may just stand next to him, and put your hair over, so I can picture what it would look like. ASHLEY: Yes, yes, yes, I will. I'll stand above him and put then my hair-- SAM: When we were at Rexxentrum a long time ago, I gave you all hats. Did any of you keep any of them? ASHLEY: I did. SAM: Okay, you had a yellow beanie. Could you give it to Fjord? TRAVIS: I have a tricorn, okay? It's fine. I put it on. (laughter) Totally, it's fine! (cries) ASHLEY: You look tough without eyebrows. LIAM: Oh.
ASHLEY: It's very-- TRAVIS: You can't even see if I'm furrowing my brow! SAM: Are you sad or mad? TRAVIS: I'm closing my eyes! LAURA: Oh, you know, I could tattoo them on for you. SAM: Oh, she can use her paints! LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah! MARISHA: Oh yeah. LAURA: I can magically paint some eyebrows. MARISHA: With a Sharpie. TRAVIS: Going.
LAURA: Okay. We'll keep going, we'll keep going. LIAM: That's going to look like Rip Torn. SAM: Every time he changes his expression, you'll have to like go in, and like erase it, and redraw it. TRAVIS: I think this is a great look. I think I look smooth.
LIAM: You look fantastic. LAURA: You look really great. TRAVIS: I just get all of it. I just do all of it. Instead of the patchy. All of it.
MATT: It all comes off. MATT: You are completely bald. TRAVIS: Awesome. MATT: Eyebrows, beard, hair, you are just a smooth Fjord. TRAVIS: You know what, it looks good.
TRAVIS: Yeah. LAURA: I'm trying to picture it. (laughs) LIAM: You're even more--
TALIESIN: Oh, I'm deep. LIAM: More fit for the water.
MARISHA: Yeah, for the water. Yeah, you're like--
LAURA: Oh yeah. MARISHA: -- just full swimmer-- TRAVIS: Olympic swimmer. LIAM: Fate of the world and all that. TRAVIS: Yes, let's go.
LIAM: If this is the worst that happens-- MARISHA: Not too bad. LIAM: Yeah.
MARISHA: Okay, let's go. LAURA: I think, I think, I think it looks good. TRAVIS: Thank you. TALIESIN: I don't suppose there's anything in this furniture that's just lying here. Is it all just kind of--? TRAVIS: When we ran in, did we see what that was? MATT: Which one, the? LAURA: These, like--
MATT: Oh. So those, those--
TRAVIS: Is that a fireplace? MATT: I mean, the piece I'm using is a fireplace, but the present location you're at, it looks like storage chambers that are just left open. TALIESIN: Oh. TRAVIS: It didn't look like a passageway or like a door? MATT: You can make an investigation check to see if there's anything beyond it. TRAVIS: I sure want to walk by the lightning thing again. LAURA: I'm already out here. I'll go check. MATT: Okay.
LAURA: Or we've already moved. Have we moved? MATT: Correct, yeah, and the orb has vanished. TRAVIS: Yeah, so you'll just take
a shot every time you walk by. LAURA: Oh, well. TRAVIS: Every six seconds.
LAURA: What about the one inside the hallway, is that--? MATT: You can make an investigation check on that as well, if you'd like. TRAVIS: (laughs) Heartburn. LAURA: (laughs) 19, oh, I didn't-- no, that's not what I rolled, I just was pushing the-- Wow, this is so cool.
LAURA: You rolled a nature check? LAURA: I rolled a nature check anyway, but that's not-- I was looking at the investigation. I rolled 19, 14 plus four, plus one, 19. MATT: Okay, as far as you can tell, there are sliding storage doors and shelves within here, though most of them are empty. Kind of looking around the hallway above, you do see a number of other corpses that were in the process of running, and in the collapse, they seem to have been ruined and left. You see broken pots and containers, things that may have been either in the process of being looted or carried through this space before the impact. But it is mostly empty.
LAURA: Okay. Just keep going, then? TALIESIN: Let's find a place to-- LAURA: Stop?
TALIESIN: Stop. LAURA: (laughs) LAURA: This is so cool. SAM: I know, we're just playing with D&D Beyond now. MARISHA: They're really good rolls that are coming-- LIAM: I made a religion check on nothing. Cheers.
(laughter) MATT: So what are you doing?
MARISHA: Ooh, ooh. TALIESIN: Terrible, man. SAM: We're going to keep going down the hall. LIAM: Are we? I'm a mess, I'm bleeding out my eyes right now. LAURA: Oh.
LIAM: I'm dead. SAM: Is this a good place to stop? I mean, we have the hallways in front of us and behind us, and-- MARISHA: I know, is this a good place? TALIESIN: I think right in this
corner, we make a little dome. SAM: Okay.
LIAM: Yeah, and block the passageway in both directions. LAURA: Okay.
MARISHA: That's true. TALIESIN: Actually, if we make it in that little corner, then maybe it blocks all three. MARISHA: You're talking about this corner? TALIESIN: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Yeah. MARISHA: You kind of-- TALIESIN: I see where you're going.
MARISHA: Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. TRAVIS: Let's do it. TALIESIN: Yeah.
LIAM: Okay, all right, I'll pull my book out, and just plop on my butt hard. MATT: You're setting up around here, you said? LIAM: No.
MARISHA: No, no, no, no, no. MATT: Oh, over here.
MARISHA: Yeah. LIAM: Yeah.
MARISHA: There we go. SAM: Ooh.
LAURA: Look, it's a perfect fit. MATT: All righty. TALIESIN: How close were you?
TRAVIS: I will stand as a svelte sentry as Caleb is-- (laughs) TALIESIN: How close were you? LIAM: Oh, 21 hit points. TALIESIN: Okay. You would've popped up at zero at least, so. LAURA: That's true. ASHLEY: Can we see anything down that hall that we haven't gone down? Just to get a little peeksy? MATT: From where you're standing, make a perception check. ASHLEY: Okay. LIAM: Yeah, you can go in and out. ASHLEY: 22. MATT: Pretty good. About 50 or so feet beyond, the hall continues, and then you see what looks to be a set of heavy brass-like doors. They are both closed, but one seems slightly off its hinges. There's a slight gap beyond it where you can see some shadow. ASHLEY: Okay. This feels like a pretty terrible spot, but it's what we have.
(laughter) TRAVIS: What? ASHLEY: This is a spot with many
openings, but we'll be okay. TALIESIN: Charlie, do you know
what's beyond those doors there? MATT: "I imagine beyond this space is the Genesis Ward." LAURA: All right. TALIESIN: The question is, do we spend this time long rest-- Ah, nope, nevermind. LAURA: We sleep.
TALIESIN: Terrible idea, we sleep. LAURA: We need to sleep. Before we go to sleep, if we get a full rest, I'm actually going to use my last fifth level, and Scry, yeah? I'm going to try to Scry on Cree. MATT: On Cree, okay. SAM: She's sharpening her blades. LAURA: Oh! (burbles) Yeah, Guide me, Guide me, before-- help me! TRAVIS: (laughs) Bip. LAURA: Thanks. MATT: You feel that familiar whisper creep up into your left ear. Close. "So, what is it you're wanting, my dear?" LAURA: I want to Scry on Cree. I want to see if they're hurt, if they're resting, if they're already, you know, going to the astral plane. I don't know what's going on. MATT: "Oh, let's go have a look, shall we?" LAURA: Okay. MATT: "I'm kind of curious myself. "They're a bit of a... "bunch of punks, aren't they?" LAURA: Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look over there, there's a giant eyeball on the ground. MATT: "That's fucking weird."
LAURA: I know. MARISHA: (laughs) MATT: With that, while you haven't seen Artie, just sensing his presence is comforting. LAURA: Do I need to roll a natural-- a 20, before I do this spell, or--? MATT: No, the spell is a saving throw on their end. LAURA: Oh, I mean for the wild magic. MATT: Oh yes, you do. LAURA: Nine. MATT: Okay, you're fine. LIAM: Your hair is safe. LAURA: (laughs) No! Oh, I could've lost all my hair, too-- MATT: This is a long table, so there's all sorts of weird shit that can happen. TALIESIN: Oh yeah. MATT: Some of it real bad. (laughs) You got off easy. (laughter) TALIESIN: (squeaking noises) TRAVIS: I like it.
TALIESIN: (squeak squeak) SAM: Fjord Contour. MATT: All righty. So, with that, you feel Artie's... ethereal fey hands reach out and touch your temples. And as you close your eyes, you feel like you're being lifted out of your own body for a moment. There's that sense of butterfly, it's in this drifting, and you hear the splashing of water. It's odd. You've seen no water here. You see flashes of dots of green light in darkness. Familiar, based on previous travel through the ward. And you're suddenly brought to a small blue orb. I say small, it's about this big. It is one of the threshold crests that is currently set on the ground, and you see some bags, and you see sitting on two sides of the threshold crest on the ground, Cree, and just at the periphery, what you assume to be Lucien. They're both drinking water, and there's just a bit of quiet. Make a perception check. LAURA: 18. MATT: Okay, glancing at the fringes, the fuzzy blurred edges of the Scry radius, you can definitely make out the form of Lucien. They're both in the process of pulling out bandages, and wrapping themselves up to a degree, before Lucien begins sharpening the edge of one of the blades that he carries. LAURA: (laughs) SAM: Cree's blade? TRAVIS: He's so considerate. SAM: They're a team. MATT: Before Cree goes, "We have to be close, yes? "Everything we've given, we have to be close." There's another pause before Lucien goes, "Don't worry, we're getting there. I can feel it. "But they're close now, too, the wee babes, "lost without their king. "Endless hunger, limitless potential, "without focus, divided among thousands "of mewling fragmented minds. "The Nonagon saw this in them. "And I'll be reborn greater. "I am their savior, as they were mine. "I will save them from their pain, "from their wasteful existence. "And you're to join me there, in their memory." Cree goes, "Aye, in their memory." And she takes a bite of something. And they're just quiet. Cree looks beat up. LAURA: What about Lucien? MATT: You can't make out too much of the details around him, but he-- at one point early on, you did see him finish bandaging himself, around, like, a forearm, before he went to start sharpening his blade. So they're taking a little bit of a beating. LAURA: They're around water? MATT: You heard water.
LAURA: Okay. MATT: You don't know what that means. LAURA: And what can I see around them, anything? MATT: Best you can tell... it's interesting. They're not sitting on cobblestone. They're not sitting on rough floor or tile. They're not sitting in city rubble. They're sitting on smooth marble floor, with a faint, dull yellowish orange hue to the space around them. It reminds you a little bit, in some ways of the atmosphere of the laboratory, shortly after you had fought that terrible baby-like abomination. It feels industrious, professional, strangely clean against the surface rubble that you've been wallowing through since your arrival. LAURA: Okay. MATT: Before the spell ends, you hear Lucien go, "Ah, I'm sure there's certain little joyful gifts "to find around here. "These people were quite creative in their magical pursuits. "Maybe we'll find something "that can patch us up right quicker. "Let's get some shuteye. "Well, you. "I'll keep an eye out." He leans a little further out of the blurry range, as Cree takes a moment, and takes a final bite of some sort of dry tack, before curling into a little cat ball on the floor. And (whoosh), you're pulled out of your Scry. LAURA: They're resting. LIAM: How did they sound? LAURA: A little beat up. LIAM: Both? LAURA: Cree was. Cree sounded disheartened. Lucien sounded like himself. It almost seemed like he was performing. I think he knew I was watching. SAM: Well, that's good, they're resting, that means that we can rest as well, right? LAURA: Yeah. TRAVIS: Did they look like they
were in a place similar to ours? LAURA: It was clean, it looked
like one of those laboratories. I heard water. There was a yellow glow. Maybe... maybe if we come across it, we'll know how far away we are. He said they were getting close. He said he was going to be their savior. He kept saying "the wee babes." SAM: Does he mean us or the whole world? LAURA: I don't know. I don't know if he meant Caleb and Beau with their new eyes. I tell them everything else that I heard. TRAVIS: Oh yeah, we get one more night of sleep, don't we?
LIAM: Yeah. Side note, did I-- when she cast Scry, did I see the same thing I saw when I was a giant ape? MATT: Yes.
LIAM: Okay. LAURA: What, what? LIAM: Don't worry about it. SAM: What, what? TRAVIS: Secret secrets. LAURA: Secret secrets aren't fun. SAM: Secrets. ASHLEY: Secrets don't make friends. SAM: Boo-crets. MATT: So, are you all resting? LAURA: I guess so?
SAM: I think so. LAURA: We need it. SAM: Do we need to do watch, lookouts? LIAM: Yeah. SAM: Okay. TALIESIN: I mean, we're in the dome, we're in the dome, but. MATT: Who's taking first watch? ASHLEY: I'll take first watch.
SAM: Charlie. TRAVIS: No Charlie, no. ASHLEY: I'll take first watch.
(laughter) MATT: "I could use the rest." LAURA: Oh, okay, cuddle up with me, Charlie. We're going to sleep. MATT: "All right."
TRAVIS: Should someone join you? ASHLEY: Sure. TRAVIS: I'll do it.
TALIESIN: You got it. LAURA: (snores) MATT: All right, so Fjord and Yasha are taking first watch. ASHLEY: Yeah. MATT: All right. All of you eventually find a... as comfortable in a crowded space as the dome always provides. Finally, exhausted, muscles sore, still processing the events of the past day or two, who knows how long it's been? It's lightless down here. You have, aside from Caleb, little sense of passage of time. That fucking feat. And as that threshold of consciousness begins to... fade into the realm of dream, Beau and Caleb. ASHLEY: Fucking-- LAURA: Fuck, fuck! MARISHA: I was waiting for it.
LAURA: Fuck! TRAVIS: Saddle up. MATT: In the darkness, you just hear a voice. "Your friends are peeking." MARISHA: He knew. MATT: "You are wily bastards. "Continuing to stick my sides like a thorn in my drawers. "Clever, but, well, not enough I have to respect it. "I'm not here to kill you. "Yet. (laughs) "I'm here to open a door, to take my reign. "Long may it be. "You're welcome to watch. "If you can keep up. "There's so much beyond this door. "So much." (harsh echoing whispers) "So much, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so much. "Aah," the screams begin to fill the space of your dream until it is just the sound of incessant static. (loud static noise) And that's where we'll end tonight. LAURA: No!
TRAVIS: (snaps fingers) TALIESIN: Cool. TRAVIS: ♪ (Addams Family theme music) ♪ (laughter) ASHLEY: Oh god-- wait, you guys have two or three? MARISHA: Currently, we have two. ASHLEY: Currently, you have two.
LAURA: Yeah, yeah. TRAVIS: Currently.
TALIESIN: See what happens in the morning.
MARISHA: Question. MATT: Mm-hmm? MARISHA: Those wisdom saves from our Heroes' Feast. Are we still wise when we sleep? MATT: Sure. TRAVIS: (laughs) We'll find out. MARISHA: We'll find out, yeah.
MATT: Mm-hm. TRAVIS: Oh man. MATT: All righty.
SAM: Wowzers. MARISHA: I wonder if they had to go underwater. ASHLEY: You wonder if what? TRAVIS: Had to go underwater. MARISHA: If they had to go underwater. LAURA: Maybe.
TRAVIS: We can do that. MARISHA: Yeah.
TALIESIN: I was about to say, we're well built for that. MARISHA: Yeah. SAM: Wow.
MARISHA: God. TRAVIS: I'm particularly drag-free now. MATT: (laughs) That's true! (laughter) You are swimmer ready. TALIESIN: An extra five feet of movement. TRAVIS: I had a friend with alopecia. He was a bad looking dude, man. MATT: Yeah, dude. TALIESIN: I know a couple.
LIAM: Like a dolphin. TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.
LIAM: (chatters) MATT: Oh, why can't I remember his name?
That amazing stunt actor. TALIESIN: Yep.
LAURA: Oh yeah, yeah. MATT: He was in Game of Thrones for a bit, worked on a few mocap projects. He's such a badass. Joe-- oh, I can't remember his name, anyway. It's been many years like nine,
eight years, since I saw him last. Anyway, he's amazing. We're still on the air. Hi, everybody. (laughter) Thank you so much for joining us. We'll pick it up next week, but until then we love you very much. And, is it Thursday yet?
SAM: Woo hoo! MATT: Good night.
(cheering)
Oh my god when Lucien talked about his long reign I almost started crying. I swear, he has memories of being Molly!!!
Forget the episode, the Nord VPN ad is the true reason to watch. Aoer ShmAoer, I want to know what happens with the nano-storm!
That thumbnail, tho. Them be damn attractive people. <3
Die Straßen der Vergessenen