The Review God of War Deserved

in the beginning we kicked this channel off by reviewing all of my boyfriend's favorite games such as breath of the wild the witcher 3 16 times the detail dark souls and it turns out many of these games are about as good as gaming gets the problem with my reviews of them is i had no idea what's going on hell yeah but my boyfriend said don't worry lots of reviewers are casual gamers the common noob ness mains you know so i reviewed red dead redemption 2 based on literally no criteria and two years and 80 reviews later imma be honest i still have no idea what's going on sometimes any questions yes several but i appreciate video games way more that's why we revisited red dead redemption 2 when it got re-released on pc and why the second game we're revisiting is god of war on ps5 [Music] in 2018 it was the reason my boyfriend brought home a ps4 and big ol 4k tv one day this is no ordinary illness i'd never seen that kind of raw hype before it didn't make enough sense to me then it does now god of war is a masterpiece the gameplay is immortal and the story speaks a universal language not even the ps4 could hold back this game's ps9 imagination however this isn't a review of god of war this is a review of what it's like to live with someone who plays god of war again this video was sponsored by keeps a preventative hair loss solution for men that gets delivered straight to your door stick around after the video to find out why keeps has more 5 star reviews than any of its competitors and how you can save 50 off your first order yay a new sponsor thanks keeps in a video titled uncharted 4 is the best game i've ever watched i described it as a linear thrill ride that felt surprisingly rare in an industry overrun with open world activities and praised naughty dog for successfully forgoing any mechanics that might disrupt the flow by giving the player no reason to even press pause oh my god you're so annoying i'm ruining this you're ruining it but look how cool it is we gotta we're making videos over here and while god of war's narrative might be the most visually stunning musically stirring technically mind-boggling cinematic mic drop in history between every stroke of genius are epic gamer moments like this no dammit this is the final boss oh what stop that all right it is simultaneously the best of times and the worst of times you can spend as a backseat gamer left center right left center down right left center oh my god am i hearing any dongs whole weekends can go by where kratos is so distracted by acquiring legendary bling he seems to totally forget about his dead wife's final wish even though she's hanging from his legendary pants [Music] it's not like my boyfriend needed all those stat bonuses to accomplish the main goal no the good armor is only good for goals that give you gooder armor and from my perspective these extra battles weren't about the thrill of the fight and the reward of strength they were simply about the audacity of this oh my god oh it's on now it's daddy time what do you think about that movie yeah you're stuck in here with me oh oh what happened to your mommy you have just been talking girl roll for your life i detected no feelings of pride and joy and forgiveness when he set a valkyrie free despite their apologetic cutscenes and jackpot of golden gear they offer as thanks the post fight conference in real life felt like this i'll see you in hell well i'll be wearing your pants okay i'm feeling a little in the way here so but before we talk about nippleheim which is basically an entire roguelike game inside the game i was trying to watch and before we get to mustafarheim which is basically an entire arcade game inside the game i was trying to watch and before we get to the valkyrie queen which is basically the entire reason anyone grinds those other realms let's talk about the game i was actually trying to watch it's amazing i mean it's too amazing like a miracle my brain can't comprehend and today in girlfriend reviews chapter 81 verse 25 i kneel before santa monica studio and say be you angels cause holy what the how in a one take did ancient aliens make this i'm just some girl who can't hardly use a controller and even i took one look at corey barlog's game and said whoa i'm just gonna say it this guy am i right unfortunately when corey's in the house the person he's making sweet love to is my boyfriend while i'm on the couch going how many pots are you guys gonna smash how many bells are you gonna ring and how many upgrades are you gonna bang before i see god of war reach its climax folks there's something worse than days long side quests that i can politely excuse myself from without missing major plot points here your frying pan and it's days long main quests filled to the brim with hole up a minute oh how can you not want to go in this subway look at it because how cool it is the aquarium look how cool this is okay i was looking for duct tape god of war has both so imagine you're me and you're experiencing perhaps the greatest game in the world when suddenly you realize that anytime the camera in this oscar-worthy film is put back in the hands of your boyfriend he adds a scene called obsessive compulsive man assaults every garbage can in the room again give me those quick no matter how urgent the current objective in this father-son adventure may have seemed it was hard to stay on the edge of my seat when the father keeps looking up at trees for secret pinatas there's buckets here somewhere aren't there bucket more like [ __ ] it let's move on the worst part is my boyfriend's only complaint at the end of the game was that the economy felt broken because he always had way more money than he could ever spend so picking up all that hack silver turned out to be a big waste of time and i said i knew it got it you see that i didn't the other egregious hole up a minutes include pressing view in menu upon acquiring anything and holding up for 10 minutes to browse the shop decide there's nothing we need then walk 10 feet away to discover another shop and go hold up a minute let's see if there's nothing we need now although i did learn how fun that stuff can be when i helped my boyfriend locate the stones needed to construct the secret infinity gauntlet thing and we were both like this does put a smile on my face hey disney marvel crystal dynamics square enix people if you want to know why an avengers easter egg put a bigger smile on our face than your whole avengers game it's because this guy thank you eventually i did make it through all the interruptions and god of war did reach its climax we'd come so far and we're right at the peak when my boyfriend accidentally had the biggest longest hardest hole up a minute in video game history two days i waited as he explored the lake of nine searched for echoes in the mist and climbed a tryhard volcano because during his first playthrough he regrettably conceded to a single undefeated foe there's not many of those in his nintendo career and the moment i became aware of just how long the valkyrie queen had been living in his head rent-free was the moment the ps5 patch got announced and this was all he had to say about it i'm coming for you [ __ ] then after clipping the wings of milf guard's eight toughest ladies he dressed head to toe in their skin and gave each of their severed heads a front row seat to the execution of their queen the psychotic part is he dragged me out of bed for it too cause it's happening you're gonna want to see this yeah apparently what he thought i wanted to see was all 15 legendary layers of the outfit he'd been collecting for 15 hours straight do absolutely nothing to prevent the final valkyrie's boot from going straight up his ass now this is what i call a dark souls i think segrin is the hardest boss i've ever witnessed and i was there when that surprise second ape almost made my boyfriend cry in securo in fact i'm kind of glad i got out of bed and stayed up past midnight it was an epic struggle that showed off what a crowning achievement this game's combat system truly is as for how the feud between my boyfriend and the valkyrie queen ended well he must have died a thousand deaths before looking right in her lipstick and saying i will rain down every agony every violation imaginable upon you i will parade your cold body from every corner of every realm and feed your soul to the finest filth in die heaven i hate you so much oh ladies yes die fry those chicken wings this is a baby game that was easy this game is a baby for babies and while he lay in bed that night he reflected on the last two days he spent working out in a make-believe place to get revenge on a make-believe bully and his exact words to me as i wrapped his throbbing fingers in ice were almost lost my cooldown in conclusion god of war is a certified goat everybody knows that and kratos really rocks the bald look but do you ever wonder what he'd look like with frosted tips you wouldn't have to wonder if he'd only tried keeps two out of three boys will experience some form of male pattern baldness by the time they're 35 the best way to prevent hair loss is to do something about it while you still have hair left thanks to keeps you can visit a doctor online and get hair loss medication delivered right to your home they make it easy and deliver your medication every three months so you can say goodbye to pharmacy checkout lines and awkward doctor visits keeps offers generic versions of the only two fda approved hair loss products out there now you may have tried them before but probably never for this price the treatments typically take between four and six months to see results so it's important to act fast if you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss go to keeps.com girlfriend or click the link in the description to receive 50 off your first order that's k-e-e-p-s dot com slash girlfriend thanks again keeps [Music] wow

Channel: Girlfriend Reviews

Views: 1,275,377

Rating: 4.948967 out of 5

Keywords: girlfriend reviews, review, games, gaming, gamer, sony, ps4, playstation, xbox, nintendo, switch, girlfriend review, pepper brick control, god of war, ps5, patch, update, 60fps, 4k, ragnarok, kratos, atreus, valkyrie, santa monica studios, midgard, cory barlog, exclusive, freya, Christopher Judge

Id: GnWJeslG4Xo

Length: 11min 35sec (695 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 21 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/BlazedRain]

That's a masterpiece.

[u/MQZ17]

This is the God of War of God of War reviews