- When we were growing up, we had this neighbor and she had
become a close family friend, but every single time you went to her
house, it was perfectly neat and tidy. I mean, it didn't matter when you stopped
over, what was going on in her world, her house was always
picked up and orderly. And she'd greet you at the door
and she'd say, "Come on in. It's so good to see you!"
And you genuinely believed
that and that she was not scrambling when she saw you driving up
the driveway to get stuff put away in order for you to come into her home. It was just always picked
up and ready to go. And I think our perception
then, growing up, was that there are some people that can
pull that off. And it's their wiring, it's their gifting. It's there's
something special about them. And then there's the rest of us. And
we'll never be that. And it is what it is. But yet we try, right? For those of us
who aren't naturally tidy people, we try. We watch the videos. We read the
articles. We see the things on Pinterest. We click on it. We download
the printables. We sincerely, I think everybody wants to be
that person. I might be wrong. Not maybe to the full extent, but I think all of us really genuinely
do want that if someone came over unannounced that we could welcome them
in and that it wouldn't be a big deal and we wouldn't be embarrassed. And so today I'm gonna talk about
the real secret of tidy people, because we hear a lot of different
things about how to be a tidy person, but I think they're missing the mark. And that might be why you
haven't succeeded at being tidy. I think we can go back even a layer
deeper to what makes tidy people tidy. And I think it could change everything. Well hi, I'm Dawn from The Minimal
Mom. If we haven't met before, I'm married to Tom and we have
four kids ages seven through 12. And we became minimalists about seven or
eight years ago. And in the beginning, part of my motivation was this, that
somebody could stop by unannounced, come in, and I would not be horrified
because my house wasn't trashed. That my house would be picked up. It
didn't have to be perfect all the time, but like if we saw someone driving up,
we could straighten up really quickly. And I like how The Fly Lady says it. She often says "being 15 minutes from
company ready." That at any given point, we could tidy up real quick and we
could welcome people into our home. And I still really like that idea.
What I didn't realize, though, is that while that is a great
byproduct of simplifying our home, the best benefits were actually
experienced by our family and getting to live in a peaceful home and having a
home that is much easier for me to stay on top of and keep picked up and
to not always feel so behind and overwhelmed by my home. So while it's great that company can
stop in and I'm not horrified that our house is trashed, the real benefits
are experienced by us every single day. And that has been the best byproduct or
benefit of highly simplifying our home, to the point that we call
ourselves minimalists. Now you don't have to go that far
and you can stop whenever you feel comfortable. Our tips and the help we
give for decluttering works for everybody, no matter how far you wanna go. But I do think that all of
us would like to be tidy. And Marie Kondo says it well. I mean, she named her book "The Life-Changing
Magic of Tidying Up," because living in a tidy space is life-changing.
We feel better. We are not as stressed out when the
space around us is picked up and tidy. Doesn't have to be perfectly
clean, but when it's tidy. So many of us strive to be a
tidier version of ourselves. And even for myself, for many years, I
was like, how do I become a tidy person? It seemed like it warred against
everything that was hardwired into me, to be kind of messy, I like to think of
it more as like creative type, right? So how do I become a tidy person? And so I wanna talk real quick about
what we normally hear makes a tidy person or how they stay on top, but I wanna then take it a layer deeper
because I think there's actually a motivation behind it. And
if we can get to that, it makes the habits of a
tidy person much more easier. So I think any time we watch videos
or read articles or see something on Pinterest about how to be a tidy person, you normally hear things
like only handle things once. So if I bring something into the
home, I put it away right away. Everything has a place and everything
in its place. So in my home, every single item has a place where
it can be put away. Let's see, what other habits of tidy
people? When you use something, you put it away right away. Anytime you're cooking or
you make some kind of mess, you're picking up as you go. When
you're making dinner at night, you run a sink of dishwater and then you
put the dishes right into it and wash 'em as you go. Run the
dishwasher every night. I'm trying to think what other things,
these are all really good things. These make sense. They're
really good habits. But I think if we go a little deeper
of what is really hardwired into tidy people is that I think they understand
that they can't keep so much inventory. That having a lot of inventory
goes directly against being a tidy person. Because most of these habits, like having a space for everything
and everything in its place, being able to put stuff
away as you use it, that requires that the space where
you're putting this stuff is not overly cluttered, right? We can't
have clutter and be tidy. And so I think this is a huge
difference in naturally tidy people, is that they can get rid
of clutter more easily. They're not as attached to these physical
things because they know that it's very hard to be tidy and
maintain a lot of inventory, or have a lot of clutter around. And so it's like they innately
know that something has to give. I can't keep all this
stuff and be a tidy person. It's not actually physically possible. We can't keep everything and keep stuff
for someday and just in case and be a tidy person. And so what I feel
like people that are naturally tidy, and this comes very easily to
them, is that they just know, I can't keep everything and I can't
keep all this stuff for someday, but I'm choosing. And we talked
about this a few videos back, that they're choosing that I would
rather have a tidy home because it feels good. It's peaceful. I'm not
embarrassed when people stop by. But I also don't feel bad for myself
about being a mom or a parent that can't stay on top of my house and therefore
my kids are always living in a messy house. They recognize that in order
for me to be tidy and to enjoy the benefits of being a tidy
person and having a tidy house, a lot of the inventory has to go. And what I think is so beautiful about
these people, we sometimes put them down. Those of us who are not tidy, we
sometimes look down on these people. We're like, you're too
Type A. You're too uptight. You care more about a clean house
than about people or other stuff or sentimental stuff. And I don't
think that's actually true. I think they've just made the decision
that a tidy home to them feels good. It feels peaceful.
And those benefits for them, this decision they've made, are better than keeping the extra
inventory for just in case. And I think, I mean, really, if you think about this and if we think
about the extra inventory that we keep, that we don't necessarily need, all
of it is for just in case. Well, I might use those cookie
cutters next Christmas. I might sometime actually decide
to use the juicer and get healthy. I need to keep these extra clothes
in case I lose some weight. And I feel like the people that
are naturally tidy say, "No, because it's gonna be too hard to manage
all that inventory." I don't think they're actually consciously thinking
this. I think it's hardwired in. Like, if my closet's full, it's
very hard to keep it tidy. Or if my dresser drawers are full, then I know that's when I pile stuff
on top of the dresser. So yeah, it could be nice to keep some of this
extra clothing for just in case or if I lose weight or if they come
back into style or whatever, but that's gonna be too
hard to also stay tidy. So I'm gonna let that inventory
go. I could make a mistake. I might regret it down the road. But I would rather make that
mistake and live in a tidy house than continue to maintain and manage
this inventory. And so I really, I really believe as I've thought
about this more, and I'm like, what really is at the core
of being a tidy person? I really think it's an ability to
let extra inventory go so that you don't have to manage it. And so that
when you go to put stuff away, you know, if you're only gonna handle something
once and you're gonna put it away, or you're gonna clean as you go, that your drawers and your cabinets
and your closets are not overfull so that it is very easy to put this
stuff away. And therefore actually, actually fairly simple to stay tidy.
And I think that's why, you know, I will be honest. I've gotten offended by some
of the comments of people
that are naturally tidy. The people that are like, "Well, just
run the dishwasher each night. Like, what are we talking about? Just fold the laundry every
night when you're watching TV. Just only handle stuff once."
And I'm like, well, yeah, that's so easy for you to say, because
you're naturally wired that way. And to the point where it sometimes
offends me. Because I'm like, you don't understand. And I think it's just because they
don't understand why would you keep this extra stuff if it's making it
really hard to manage your house? And then we think, but why would you let perfectly
good stuff go when you might need it someday, right? And so I truly
believe if you're not a tidy person, if you're like me, and you've ever
been offended by a tidy person, I think they're being very sincere
and that they just don't understand. And we both just look
at stuff differently. But if we do want to be, if we wanna move over from
messy to be a more tidy person, I think we have to humble ourselves and
adopt some of their mindsets and say, okay, yes, maybe I need to let some of this extra
inventory go so that it is very easy to clean up my kitchen as I go. So that it's not a big deal to run the
dishwasher at the end of the night, because everything fits in there. That I am gonna highly simplify my
closet so that I'm not tempted to pile clothes on top of the dresser or on the
floor or when I bring a laundry basket full of clean laundry in, it's
actually very simple to put it away. And so I'm realizing that if I
really want to be a tidy person, I need to look at the inventory and the
stuff in my house much more differently. And so I think recognizing
that neither side is wrong. There's actually benefits to both. And we get to choose depending on
what season we're in right now, how much inventory do we wanna manage? And therefore how easy will
it be to keep my house tidy? And so kind of circling back to some of
these habits that normally define tidy people, like only handling
stuff once, cleaning as you go, a place for everything and
everything in its place, I really feel like all of these habits
are much more easier to develop once we have decluttered our home, highly simplified our inventory
and then these things are possible. So if you've tried to develop those
habits outside of decluttering first, you may have felt like a failure.
Like there's something wrong with you. You're just too messy of a
person, it's never gonna work. And so what I wanna encourage you is
keep working on decreasing the inventory and decluttering until you get to
a point that these habits stick and you really can tidy
your house very quickly. For me, I know often the
question comes up of like, how far should I go when
I'm decluttering? How far, how much should I get rid of? And
for me, I want any room in our house, I wanna be able to pick
it up in five minutes. The kitchen might take a little bit
longer, but any other room, five minutes. And so I kept reducing the inventory
until no matter what stage, no matter how old our kids were, how
big of messes they make, five minutes. That any room in our home could be
pulled back together in five minutes. And so I actually had to go a lot
further with reducing the inventory than I would've thought. I
mean, I would encourage you, if you're getting kind of hung up on
things, go further than you thought, because I had to really significantly
reduce the inventory to get our house easy to tidy. And so I don't say that to discourage
you or scare you, but I'm just saying, if you're feeling like, "Eh, I'm not sure," err on the side
of getting rid of it because, like the tidy people already know, the benefits of living in a home that
is really easy to tidy and pick up, it's really priceless. It feels so
good. And it makes you feel good. I feel so much more successful when
I'm able to stay on top of our house. And then even if I accidentally got rid
of something we needed or I could have used it, but it's fine,
I'll make something else do, I didn't beat myself up over
that because I'm like, oh no, no, the benefits are so good that I don't
care if I accidentally got rid of a $20 shirt or a pair of jeans that I could
have worn now. It doesn't, it's fine. It's totally fine because
the benefits are so good. And it's so easy to keep our house
tidy. So those benefits and that, worth so much more than anything I
might have accidentally decluttered. And so you start to have
this grace for yourself. I know some of you are really
perfectionistic and you're like, "But I can't make this mistake." And
just keep going because you start to have more grace for yourself. I think
that's a real benefit of tidy people, is they don't beat themselves up if
they make a decluttering mistake because they know, "Well, I can't keep it all. I can't have a tidy house and keep it
all." They're not so hard on themselves. So with that being said, our workbook is available along with
a course that goes alongside of it. I couldn't not do a course
because the workbook is cool, but I learn best this way. So
it's kinda like we have both. If you learn well with a workbook and
writing stuff down and checking stuff off as you go, super cool. If you like to see it and see
actual real homes get decluttered, then the course might be for you as
well. So I'll put details for those. We just wanna help you however
we can, because like I said, it's just so stinking good.
So I would love to know, will you comment down below, are
you a naturally tidy person or not? Like me over here? And if you are
one of these naturally tidy people, what is your favorite habit
to keep your house tidy? So thank you for sharing that down
below. It's always so fun to read. But I love you. I hope that you have a really good
day and I'll see you again soon.
