- Whenever Tom and I were showing
houses for selling real estate, the houses that were empty were always
my favorite. Because they felt bigger. They're more spacious. You could
imagine where stuff would go. But there's just something
peaceful about it. You just walk into a room like this
and you're just like, sigh. Like, huh. There's nothing in here to manage, to
take care of, to worry about, to clean, to organize, to dust. There's nothing
that I have to do in a room like this. I could literally just sit down and
just relax. I could read a book. I could just sit in here
and just do nothing. And my friend Matilda was recently
staying at a Residence Inn, one of those extended stay hotels. And she sent a picture of
the kitchen inventories. So they had this inventory sheet in the
kitchen of what should be in this little kitchenette in this Residence Inn. And even as I was looking at that, I
was like, huh, that just feels so good. And I'm like, wait a
second, why am I having, why am I having that reaction of looking
at this little inventory for kitchen and being like, huh,
that would be so nice? And I realized that because it's just, it's so little inventory to manage.
We talk about inventory all the time, that every item in our house is a piece
of inventory that we have to manage. And I think for so many of us, we
would like a reset like this, right? We would like someone to come in, remove
all the stuff that we're not using, leave us with just this little
inventory of just the essentials. Kind of like when we talk
about a vacation rental. Give me just the stuff I need and
take everything else with you. Make the decisions for me so
that I don't have to do it. And it would feel so good. We would
love that. And we would welcome that. And so while we can't do that for you
today, how can we achieve this faster? Obviously you don't want
completely empty rooms. But how could we get to a point
where when we walk into our house, we let out a sigh of relief. We're home. We're a place where we're away
from the chaos of the world, where we can recharge and refresh
ourselves and just have some time where we don't have to manage
or take care of so much stuff. Well hi, I'm Dawn from The Minimal
Mom. If we haven't met before, I'm married to Tom and we have
four kids ages seven through 11. And in our former life, we did
sell real estate, which was fun. But now we love sharing tips and
tricks for you to simplify your house. Your pursuit doesn't
have to be minimalism, but a simplified house so that you can
enjoy it and relax when you're at home. And so many of us want this.
And so how do we get here? How do we get to a place where
if we inventoried our kitchen, it wouldn't be page after page after page? Like we could potentially
fit it on one page. How do we get our inventory pared
down? And how do we do it quickly, and with using as little
mental energy as possible? Because most of us don't have a
lot of energy to spare right now. It's just the season we're in. And I think it's important to
reframe how we look at stuff. How we look at the physical
items in our house. So let's look at an example.
This is my current purse. Bag. And when I bought it, I bought it because I needed something
to carry my stuff around with. So the purpose of this item was to carry
my stuff. So if we hold up an item, we say, what was the purpose of
it? To transport my stuff around. And then the next question we ask
is, is it fulfilling that purpose? And then we just say, yes or no.
There's no in betweens. Yes or no. Yes, this currently is. If
it's a no, then we let it go. And this... Now I want to be careful
here, because it's like, oh, well, it's not always that simple, right?
So let's look at another example. Here's a black shirt. The shirt
is to clothe ourselves with. Is it fulfilling that purpose? Well,
it's a little too small right now, but if I lost five pounds, it would
fit perfectly. And then yes. No. So this is the second part of the
rule. We ask what the purpose is. To clothe ourselves. Is it a yes or
a no? Right here, today, it's a no. And so then that means
that this item has to go. And it's these gray areas where we
get hung up and we get tired making decisions. It's when
we start saying, well, but I would like to wear
that again someday. Well, if I started working out again,
I would like to wear that. And that is where the system breaks down. And that's where we make decluttering
harder than it has to be. And that's where we get further and
further away from having a home that is peaceful and restful and relaxing. And that mentally is a safe place and a calming place to go to. Okay, so
again, if we want to get there quicker, if we want to have a reset in our house
and really have our home be a peaceful place to be, we ask ourselves,
what's the purpose of this item? Because it's just a physical item.
It has no feelings or anything. What's the purpose? Is it
fulfilling that purpose in my life? If it's not a clear yes,
it's a no, and it's gone. And then we go onto the next item.
Okay, what's the purpose of this? It's a candle. It helps our house
smell good and it has nice ambience. Is it fulfilling that purpose? Well, this one's not because I have 12 other
candles and this one was pushed to the back of my cabinet and I
haven't used it in 12 months. So is it fulfilling the purpose? No. Could it somehow, someday? Yes, it probably could down the
road, but right here, today, with my goal being a peaceful,
relaxing, calming house, is this filling the purpose? No, it's not. And I think what's hard about this
is that often when we sit down to go declutter and we have all of this stuff
in front of us and we start making decisions, we've forgotten what our goal
is. And so a lot of times I talk about, this sounds cheesy, and I don't know
if anyone ever actually does it, but I talk about literally
taking a Post-it note or a
piece of paper and saying, what is my goal? If my goal is a peaceful home
that is super easy to manage, like that Residence Inn with that
really small kitchen inventory, if that is my goal for my house
to be super easy to manage, so that when I walk in, it feels peaceful, it feels like it's good to be home. If that is my goal, then I am going to have to make
tough decisions. And when I say, no, my no means no. If it's
not a clear yes, it's a no. And that item is gone. Because really at the end of the day, no physical items are really
making my life that better. If we really look, I read
this before that as Americans, we only use 20% of the stuff in our house. Very few things are making my life better. And so I have to get
tougher on this stuff, but I have to keep my why
or my vision in front of me. So I love using a Post-it note or a
piece of paper and keeping that baby right in front of you
when you go to declutter. So when you hold something up and
you're like, well, but I could use it. You say no. It's a no. Because I am more concerned about
having a peaceful home right now. Tom's youngest sister just had a
baby and anytime a baby's born, it just causes you to think about
life. And then on the other end, we've lost many people who are
close to us too, this past year. And have friends that
are walking through that. And I was just thinking about it today, as I'm looking at a picture
of a brand new baby, and then, and thinking about these
friends who are grieving, and I'm like at both ends of the
spectrum, this physical stuff, it adds no value. It really adds no value. And so by continuing to
pare down our inventory, to get to a point where
our house is peaceful. But also so my energy is freed up. Like I want to have time to go visit new
babies and to grieve with friends who are grieving. I want to be in a place
emotionally where I feel like, okay, I can handle the stuff that
comes at me on a daily basis. And this physical stuff is not the
answer, right? It's not the answer. And so we have to keep it in
its proper place. And I know, we hold up some of this stuff
and in our brains directly go to, "But I spent money on that."
The intentions we had for it. "I thought I was going to use it with
this outfit or for these occasions." And our brain starts going down that path.
And we have to say, stop, hang on. I might have made a mistake
by purchasing this item. But the bigger mistake moving
forward would be to hang onto it. Because keeping stuff that adds no value, just perpetuates the mistake.
It keeps the mistake going, or it keeps offending us
by keeping it in our house. The best thing we can do is say, well,
I made a mistake. I'm a human being. It happens to me. It happens to
you. It happens to my neighbor. It happens to my friends, but I'm not
going to let that stop me anymore. It might've hung me up in the past,
but I've got my Post-it note here. I know what my vision is. I know what
I need my house to function like. And I'm going to be crystal
focused on that right now. And I've been talking about this a little
bit in our Facebook groups recently that everyone is going through
something hard right now. I don't know a person that's not.
Who's just like, "Life's great. There's no problems. Everything's going smoothly." I don't
know a single person like that right now. Everyone is going through
something. So I just, I know you're going through
something right now, too. And so one of the best things
we can do for ourselves, the best form of self-care
or loving ourselves, or valuing ourselves when there are hard
things going on is to move the clutter out of your house so that you can walk
in and have your home be a peaceful place to be. Not just for you, but for everyone else that lives
in your house too. And of course, I'm not implying that you should live
in a completely empty house, right? Like we have furniture and
stuff too. But like I said, there is just something, when you walk
in, when there's space and there's room, there is just something in our soul
that just sighs. And just like, okay, I can relax. I can rest. There's nothing in here right
now telling me something to do. So complete permission to let things go. That if it is not a clear yes, it's a no. And you have permission to let stuff go. Even if you could wear it down the road. You could wear it if you decided
to start exercising again, or if you lost five pounds.
That's okay. Tell yourself, I'll cross that bridge when I
get there. But for here, today, I need my house to be peaceful. So at the
risk of sounding like a broken record, you have permission to let that stuff
go and to prioritize your peace of mind and a peaceful home over this physical
stuff that's not adding any value. I think I should also link
to the Silent To-Do List, because I think as I was talking about
that and walking in and feeling like, huh, there's nothing to do in here, a big piece of that is the
idea of the Silent To-Do List, that every item in our house
is telling us something to do. So I will link to that video. I know many of you have said it's actually
been helpful to share that video with spouses and other people
in your household as well, to help them understand
why you're decluttering and
why this stuff nags at you. So I'll link to that video as
well. But I'm excited for you. I know there's a lot going on. I know there's a lot of stress
and different things right now, and you might not even have a lot
of time or energy to declutter, but have this crystal clear vision, keep it in front of you and you can get
your house decluttered and it is going to feel so good. I love you. I hope you have a great day
and I'll see you again soon.
