The Pistol Shrimps | Full Comedy Documentary | Aubrey Plaza | Free Movies By Cineverse

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It is really difficult to go undefeated in any sport. I think, you know, there's the term, "any given Sunday," so, like, any team is capable of beating any other team, but, you know, sometimes, it's got to be, like, you know, your very best day, and somebody else's maybe not their best day, and those things coinciding. Right? Don't you like to win? I mean, who doesn't like to win? So, it's almost impossible to go undefeated. [Jimmy Fallon]: Here is Aubrey Plaza. You're in a-- a women's basketball league? [Aubrey]: You can come see it every Tuesday night. I'm on a team called the Pistol Shrimps. [Jimmy]: The Pistol Shrimps? That's me right there, uh, giving the finger. [Jimmy]: Yeah. Very nice. Appreciate that. And, uh, we're a really serious basketball team. No, you're not. Yeah, we are. <i> It's time to lay down some hardwood</i> <i> and skin some rubber.</i> <i> You're listening to us broadcasting</i> <i> from a corner of the gym.</i> [♪♪♪] <i> Spirited, positive, and ready for action.</i> <i> Sounds like Pistol Shrimps' basketball to me.</i> <i> Now let's hear the starting lineup.</i> <i> Number 9, Amanda "Fun Buns" Lund.</i> <i> Number 53, Paisley Grey.</i> <i> Number 3, Melissa Stetten.</i> <i> Number 99, Jesse Thomas.</i> <i> Number 1, Aubrey Plaza.</i> <i> 19, Stephanie Allynne.</i> <i> Number 0, Angela "Swaggy Trim" Trimbur.</i> <i> Number 11, Tali Levi-Crouch.</i> <i> Number 16, Maria Blasucci.</i> <i> Number 8, Kelly "KV" Vallon.</i> <i> Number 25, Laura "Lights Out" Jack.</i> <i> Number 33, Molly Hawkey.</i> <i> Number 21, Ingrid... "Han Mah Boogie!" Walla.</i> <i> It's Shrimps Basketball time.</i> <i> It's Shrimps Basketball.</i> This message is to all of our haters... "We love to ball, and we ball hard. "No haters allowed. "You're either with us or against us, "and may God help you if you're against us, because we will dunk on your ass so hard!" Hey! Wait! Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey! [♪♪♪] Well, I've never played basketball. I'm not really sure what basketball is. I know you're supposed to get the ball in the hoop. I don't know if they ever touched a basketball before, quite honestly. I don't think so. I don't think so at all. I was playing a lot of basketball, but I was always doing pick-up games with guys. One day... thinking to myself, I really want to play team sports, because I don't really get outside much. Maria sent out a little Facebook message and said, "Do any of you want to play basketball? "It'll be a good chance for all of us to exercise and then have milkshakes," or something like that, and everybody was like, "Sure! "I've never played a sport before, but that sounds fun." [♪♪♪] [Maria]: We went looking for a rec league, and it was very hard to find one. [Paisley]: It took Maria to ask, "Has anyone ever signed up for the league before?" [Maria]: And they were like, "Oh, this league has not existed in, like... years." Women never sign up to be in a women's league. [Amanda]: And boys have a league, for whatever reason, but the girls need a league, too... 'cause otherwise, they're just out on the streets. [Traci]: Maria took it upon herself to sort of drum up enough teams to make something happen. [Angela]: She said, "Yeah, don't worry. We're all just going to learn from scratch." She posted something on one of the comedy groups. All of a sudden, I get, like, an email, like, okay, first game is this, and I'm like, "Okay." Like, I'm on the team, but it was like, "I made the team!" We have to run now. This is middle school P.E. all over again. [Molly]: I remember the first game, and, like, I had this pain in my chest from breathing so hard. It would just burn so bad, and it was awesome. [Howard]: They may have been trying to put it together for a while, and all of a sudden, it just came together. [Molly]: The ref was like, "You ladies are doing something historic today," and I said, "Somebody should've recorded that." [announcer]: They've found out Women's Rec League Basketball didn't exist in Los Angeles, but they changed that. They'll probably win an award or something. They're called the Pistol Shrimps. That was an incredible move. Thanks. What do you bring to the squad? Oh, I'm really good at defence. I went to an R.E.M. concert once. Can you twirl a ball on your finger like this? Just give it a shot. Um, yeah. Let me just, uh... Yeah, see? That was... good job. Do you think you can bring a title to Los Angeles? It's been a long time. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, we're going to win the-- the cup... the Stanley Cup. We're trying to interview you so we can hype your team, but... But we don't care about being famous, okay? We just want to ball. We just want to play basketball. You wearing a backpack? I am. Do you think it's stupid that it's called "man-to-man" when it's women? Should we call it "woman-to-woman"? No. Thank you. So the whole thing is a miserable failure and you don't win any games. That's not going to happen. We're used to that. We don't care about winning. We care about playing. From the beginning, we lost every game. I vaguely remember losing all the time. First season, I don't know that we won any games. I think maybe one? No, we were terrible. Awful. Really bad, embarrassingly bad. But, you know, I always learn something. I would go to a game just knowing that I would lose. For a while, we were just losing and losing and losing. It was still a lot of fun, and people came to watch us play, and, like... we had fans. People came to watch us lose. Like, they knew we were a losing team, but they still showed up. [Patrick]: So I came to the first game, thinking it was going to be some joke, and they were really playing basketball. Everything worth doing it good starts out sounding like a lie, like it's fake. The one time we won, it was like, "Oh, right! That's what we're going for." [Paisley]: I just went in being like, "Okay, I know I'll lose, but we'll do better than the last game, or we won't get angry at the other team. We'll just have fun." [♪♪♪] [Matt, sportscasting]:<i> Well, it's a blustery Tuesday.</i> <i> I'm thrilled to be back, Mark.</i> <i> I missed you, as you know,</i> <i> and in our former life,</i> <i> we were probably a lot closer than we are.</i> <i> [Mark]: I would agree with you, Matt.</i> <i> Hopefully, the Pistol Shrimps</i> <i> can summon the power of Grace Jones</i> <i> and take home a victory here tonight at Pan Pacific Park.</i> <i> [Matt]: This is Season Four for the women's league</i> <i> here in L.A.</i> <i> Three seasons have gone by, and our Shrimps are back.</i> <i> [Mark]: Back in action.</i> <i> This match-up against the AlleyOopsies.</i> <i> [Matt]: Smells like</i> <i> a basketball game's about to start.</i> <i> [Mark]: That's right.</i> <i> It also smells like what the Rock is cooking.</i> [team]: Let's go! [Chris]: Four, five, six! Shrimps! <i> [Matt]: Stetten will pass inside to Allynne.</i> <i> Allynne will turn around and shoot.</i> <i> Aw!</i> <i> [Mark]: Rim foul, no good.</i> <i> [Matt]: It's still anybody's game,</i> <i> but if anybody takes it from our Shrimps, well,</i> they're going to have to talk to you, right, Mark? That's right. We're going to have a long conversation <i> out in the parking lot.</i> <i> She'll dribble around and drive in.</i> <i> [Matt]: With a smile on her face.</i> <i> Tossed it up.</i> <i> "Han Mah Boogie" puts in the first two basketball points!</i> <i> [Mark]: She really is a basketball whiz.</i> <i>[Matt]: Now, these AlleyOopsies look like they're up for a game.</i> <i> There's nothing oopsies about 'em.</i> <i> Everything they do, they meant to do.</i> <i> [Mark]: Even their "Oopsies" on the jerseys is intentional.</i> <i> [Matt]: You'd think you'd have a spelling mistake</i> <i> if it was really an oopsy.</i> <i> [Mark]: Yeah, how oopsies are you, Oopsies?</i> <i> You know, that reminds me of...</i> <i> do you remember</i> <i> when Crunch Berries put out a special edition</i> <i> called the Oops! All Berries?</i> <i> Matt, not only do I remember it,</i> <i>I have so many problems with it.</i> <i> [Matt]: Allynne puts it up back in Oops territory.</i> <i> There's two more points for the Pistolas Pescaditos.</i> <i> [Mark]: Oh, straight up,</i> <i> fucking basketball perfection right there.</i> [horn blows] <i> Yeah, and that's a toot-toot for the half-half.</i> [Maria]: First hearing that there's a basketball league, you go like, "Aw, no, I don't play," but then, seeing people who've never, never played before, it made people go like, "Oh, I can start a team." When I first started, it was literally only like six teams. By the second season, there were 12 teams. And I don't even know how... I feel like there's at least 20-something. I would say there's about like 20 million. Yeah. [Howard]: They are up to 24 teams now, and they use four gyms on Tuesdays. All of us are rushing from our jobs, and the second we get on the court, we're just hype and ready. There's comedians, there's actors, there's writers, there's TV writers, filmmakers... there's directors. Tuesday's definitely the most fun day of the week for me. It seems like it's a comedy league first, and a basketball league second, until we step out on the court, and then it's... we... everybody has to win. There to have fun, but serious fun. [Stephanie]: It's like this weird energy, that it's like, "I didn't know that was in you." I forgot I had this in me. I thought I grew out of it. [Aubrey]: I never played for fun. Like, I've always played to win. [Sherrelle]: We all got bruises, 'cause some games, it really gets competitive. We had a girl bust a lip. My shoulder has, like, popped out before, but it, like, goes right back in immediately. I hurt my sternum in a game. Who else is going to bring, like, their nail game, you know? Like, guys aren't going to have fricking claws. We mean on the court, but off the court, we nice. [Traci]: We do this in all our sports. I mean, it's adult sports, and, you know, we want them to have a nice, big trophy. People just shake my hand on the street, are like, "It's so great to meet you and the trophy. Can I touch the trophy?" I'm like, "Of course you can't." Everybody takes it. It's just a little bragging right for that season. Chasing that dub. It's coming up. <i> [Mark]: Act Two is now underway,</i> <i> and the Oopsies have come back strong</i> <i> and put two points down the swish-bucket.</i> <i> [Matt]: They don't really call them "Acts,"</i> <i> but what do we know?</i> <i> [Mark]: It's hard to know, isn't it?</i> <i> [Matt]: Oh, behind the...</i> <i> [Mark]: Passes back behind to "Mah Boogie," who puts it up,</i> <i> and the Oopsies grab control</i> <i> and fast break down the alley for two points,</i> <i> ladies and gentlemen.</i> <i> Number 14 pops it up from the Oopsies.</i> <i> [Matt]: Action shot there.</i> <i> [Mark]: Rebound, swap meet,</i> <i> as legs flail and arms wail.</i> <i> Jesse Thomas with the free throw.</i> <i> [Matt]: It's good as gold.</i> <i> [Mark]: That ball just turned to a Wookie</i> <i>and said, "Chewie, we're home."</i> [Matt snickers] <i> 7 gets a wide-open shot.</i> <i> and she takes it and earns herself two points.</i> <i> They're closing the lead</i> <i>with two minutes and 26 seconds left on the clock.</i> <i> [Mark]: No doubt about it,</i> <i> the Pistol Shrimps are red-hot right now.</i> <i> [Matt]: I'll say. "Han Mah Boogie's" got...</i> <i> [Mark]: Well... Oh, my God.</i> <i> Behind-the-back dribble from Jesse Thomas</i> <i> puts 77 down on her butt.</i> <i> That was unreal.</i> <i> [Matt]: That basket stoops to her</i> <i> and says, "May I take your ball, please?"</i> <i>[Mark]: Well, less than a minute left of basketball here.</i> <i> I'll take a little picture of the action</i> <i> while we're doing this whole thing.</i> <i> Picture of the action, the satisfaction.</i> [airhorns blow] <i> [Matt]: Ooh! The Shrimps just won,</i> <i> and I haven't said those words since never.</i> <i> [Mark]: Matt, I don't have a problem with that.</i> <i>We got a lot of high-fives here from the teams and the coaches.</i> <i> I don't know what-- what they're drinking,</i> <i> but it's working.</i> <i> My name is Matt Gourley...</i> <i> I'm Mark McConville...</i> <i> [both]: And you're listening to Pistol Shrimps Radio.</i> So my boyfriend, Matt Gourley, has his little hand in the honeypot of podcasts. [Matt]: I would, whenever I could, go to the games in the first season. I don't know, I was thinking... "I need another podcast." Stupid call. [Mark]: When I got the call from Matt, he was like, "I'm thinking of doing, like, "a two-man play-by-play of a women's rec league basketball game," and I think I said, "That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. "That's so stupid. Let's do it." [Paisley]: The weird thing about this sports podcast is that they don't really know much about sports. I can fully imagine that it's not... that people don't think it's real, because they're not really calling the game. I mean, they mention things that happen in the game, but they're not really calling the game. Pesticide-free comedy. So somebody's coming in, and somebody's going out. Mark, if you had to eat a pesticide, which one would it be? [Mark]: I'd ask my dad 'cause he's a farmer. It's still tied up here. Trust us, we'll tell you if something important happens. Otherwise, we've got to figure this out. I think I'm an Agent Orange man. The podcast is, like, kind of the most fun part about the whole experience now. It's, like, it's my favourite. It's become a huge thing. It has a lot of fans. That got mentioned on the show that Matt is going crazy 'cause he had low blood sugar, and then suddenly, you have this legion of people who's concerned for his well-being. [Matt]: But they send... and I, I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but... pounds and pounds of Sour Patch Kids. That can't be good, right? Matt always talked about how he'd never eat before games. He's always hungry. People started sending him, like, gift cards to restaurants. Yeah, we got a whole satchel full of gift cards here that we've yet to use. Yeah, there's In-N-Out, Five Guys. What else is in here? There's a Boston Market card. Yup, a lot of protein. [Matt]: The gift update is we just received a three-pack of boxed milk. Can you... What other podcast is going to bring you that action? [Mark]: I don't know. But now I'm... my ultimate quest is to get them to send in an anvil. Like, a full-size, blacksmith anvil. [Mark]: Why would you? Because Mark goes to the P.O. Box and picks up this stuff every week, and I want to see him walk into the gym... [laughs] In all sports, but especially in this one, I think that the teams kind of took it upon themselves to make sure that they had creative, unique names, and you know by looking at those names, that it's a women's league. Almost every team in the league has some, like, pun or play on words. Shout-out to Kareem Abdul Jababes. The Lucille Ballers. The Beat Down. The Kirstie AlleyOops. The Carol Ball-Net Show, yeah. Let's see, we were almost the Hottie Pippens... um, Space Pam, Allen Iverdaughters, uh, Kobe-Gyn. Every season, the names of the teams just get better and better. It's fun. It's kind of like naming a band. Picking our name was challenging. We started a Google document. Just sitting there, brainstorming names forever. [Stephanie]: We were Googling really aggressive animals. I guess that's the most aggressive thing in the sea, which I... am now realizing this cannot be true. Some of the other teams have an idea as to how they came up with their names, but I don't what a pistol shrimp is. What is a pistol shrimp? [documentary narrator]: Far from being quiet, the ocean is filled with a cacophony of animal noises that can even disrupt the sonic transmission of submarines. Most of the din is made by a surprisingly insignificant creature, the pistol shrimp. The pistol shrimp is a little shrimp that has one huge claw and then, like, one tiny claw, and this huge claw, it snaps with such force, that it creates a tiny sonic boom. Comes out like a, like a pistol bullet. The claw releases an air bubble that can, like, crack an aquarium. Can, like, crack glass. [laughs] Is that completely made up? It was this... on that Snapple fact, remember? Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. So it must be true if it's on Snapple. It has this crazy super power, but it's teeny, teeny-tiny. You can kind of see... Ours is holding a basketball. I'm assuming it's a basketball. [narrator]: First, its claw is cocked like a pistol... [sound of gun clicking] Then, fired. [gunshot] [gun clicks] The effect is literally stunning. Okay. All right. Interesting. Okay. I learned something today. [laughs] No way. That's what a pistol shrimp is? Right. I'm going to go look it up. I just literally pictured, like, a shrimp with a gun. It's obscure, and it's weird, but it's also frightening. It always makes me think of, like... I just want a shrimp kabob, every time. -Like a cocktail. -'Cause I love shrimp. [Molly]: Um, yeah, yeah. So this is where I get my skills, where I practice my, uh, moves, you know. Oh, yeah! Oh! What? Yes! Oh! Oh, no! Okay, streak's over. [laughs] Hey, guys, um, so I've got this documentary crew following me today, as you can see, and, you know, I, I... It's hard when people are surrounding you at all times to be completely genuine... Hi, neighbour! and so, you just have to really be yourself. [snickers] I'm like, "Hi, neighbour." Geez. Yeah, I'm going to be on The Bachelor, and I'm not just auditioning. I'm going to be on The Bachelor. Yeah, Molly is, um, is on The Bachelor. She's killing it. You know, she's really making a name for herself. I'm going to be the oldest contestant in The Bachelor history, and... I'm not scared. My brother called me. He's like, "What the fuck? Are you in The Bachelor?" [laughs] Being the oldest contestant in Bachelor history is going to be tough, but I'm up for the challenge. [piano music] Hi. I told Ben I loved him last night. He even told me back. I mean, he was asleep, uh, but he... when I said it, he made a noise back, and it sounded like, "I love you." Oh, my gosh. This is the best day of my life. [Molly]: Okay, so, it's time to shoot a Bachelor video... and I don't really know what I'm doing. I don't have any, um, video training. I'm a headshot photographer. Today, Melissa's going to come over and help me, and she's going to be my stand-in so I won't have to do any focusing on air. I'm really good at this 'cause... Wow, it's like I've been doing this my whole life. I know. But I've never done it before. No. [laughs] Okay. I'm on the group date card, and we get to go play soccer with the U.S. Women's Soccer Champs. I mean, I am over the moon. I'm not good at soccer. I was never good at it, but I, I never tried. I wish we could do a field-hockey group date. That would be... I would kill! [snickers] [laughs] Go, go, go. Whoo! [whooping] We are at the Los Angeles coliseum. It's insane. I'm a huge football fan, and the moment I saw the sign, I... couldn't even contain my excitement. Oh, my gosh! I missed the group date. I told Amber I was going to go take a quick shower, shave my pits... 'cause my hair grows really long in my armpits really fast... 'cause I'm 37. Hormones are weird at that age. It's crazy to me that people still think you're on The Bachelor. [Angela]: She's gotten really confident. From the beginning to now, it's a totally brighter version of her. It's like a peek behind her brain, and it's a... different... kind of... wrinkle in that brain. It's like a bent wrinkle. [cries theatrically] It's not fair! It's okay. It isn't! Why am I here? I don't have any chances. I have no shot in fucking hell. Nobody understands me except for Shoshana. [bursts out laughing] Okay, I'm going to do that one again. [Molly]: Okay, so now, I'm uploading these videos, and I'm going to spend hours upon hours, um, editing them. <i>I used to be a captain</i> <i>of the field hockey and lacrosse team</i> <i>in high school...</i> Yeah, I like this part. <i>Um, except for senior year when I quit lacrosse.</i> And I also love, um, my Facebook page. Have you seen that? Molly from The Bachelor. Oh, and my favourite part. I'm sorry, I just love these tiny details down here. I mean, I wrote that this was posted on The Bachelor, um, Instagram, and then I wrote, "Go, Molly" to Molly. I mean, I'm really impressed by myself, um, but I also... it's like... "Girl, you have better things to do with your time. What are you doing?" This takes forever, and I don't know why I'm doing it, except that it makes me laugh so much. I don't have any interest in being on The Bachelor. I don't have a lot of acting opportunities, so I, I guess I decided to put myself in these, so that I can feel that, like, I'm doing something with my, my life, you know. Um... [♪♪♪] <i> The Pistol Shrimps, dressed in their white jerseys,</i> <i> take on the Lisas.</i> Only other oldest teams in the league. <i> There's only so many old teams in the league,</i> <i> and this, my friends, is one of them.</i> <i> That's right.</i> <i> Out on the...</i> <i>It's a, it's a jam-packed night here in North...</i> <i> and what?</i> <i> Oh, Steven Brydle has brought us In-N-Out burgers.</i> <i> This is too much.</i> <i> Steven, this is too much, too kind,</i> <i> especially since we just came from Boston Market.</i> <i> [Mark]: And it's good.</i> <i> Nice swish there from "Lights Out."</i> <i> [Matt]: Wow, what an amazing world we live in</i> <i> if there's a real person named Lisa on that team.</i> <i> That's the kind of serendipity</i> <i> you only get in John Cusack fucking movies.</i> <i> [Mark]: The Lisas do look feisty tonight, Matt.</i> <i> [Matt]: Well, they've got a unicorn coach.</i> I wish they would have kept it Lisa Franks, 'cause then you don't have to explain it every time, but... Some people get it when they see Lisas and the unicorn. [chuckles] <i> Laura "Lights Out" Jack passes</i> <i> to the height of "Han Mah Boogie,"</i> <i> who pops it up for two.</i> <i> Not bad at all.</i> <i> This gym's intensity...</i> <i> This is hot action basketball.</i> <i> [Matt]: That's the story</i> <i> we're going to tell for the Shrimps</i> <i> is they rally back for an exciting conclusion</i> <i> and keep the winning streak alive.</i> <i> It's 15 to 14 here at half time,</i> <i> and it's dancing time.</i> <i> Ladies and gentlemen,</i> <i> your L.A. City Municipal Dance Squad.</i> [Angela]: When somebody says that they can't dance, I want to shake 'em, because I truly do believe everybody can dance. You just have to stop caring what other people think. [♪♪♪] So I went to a Lakers game, and I saw the Lakers girls. So I was excepting something spectacular, and I was like... It just seemed really gentle and perfect, and it was frustrating, and then, I thought, "I want to do that, but not that," and then, I just thought about making a halftime dance team for the community centre. [♪♪♪] I asked the league if I could have a dance squad. [Traci]: We talked about appropriate moves and keeping it PG or G... not PG-13 or R. No humping the floor and grinding and stuff. [Angela]: We stopped humping the floors. We stopped, um... wiping our vaginas and throwing our juice into the sky. We stopped all the weird stuff. [♪♪♪] [Traci]: When you buy a ticket to an event, you know kind of what you're getting, and... in this case, people just walking through a rec centre, and making sure that it's appropriate for kids walking through, and it's a public facility. [♪♪♪] [applause] Angela's a crazy cat. Whenever she'd on the court, she'd start, like, doing the spits and stuff. It was so bizarre and jarring in a basketball game to see somebody just hold the ball and do the splits. And then, I saw the ref... uncertain if that was a travel. Like... [giggles] Like, it was like... "Ye-e-eah, you can't do that." [♪♪♪] ♪ I wanna give you my attention ♪ ♪ But it won't be Won't be ♪ ♪ For long ♪ ♪ 'Cause I'm listenin' To every word ♪ ♪ With eyes on Eyes on ♪ ♪ My phone ♪ ♪ I wanna touch you With my problems ♪ ♪ Can you feel the world Spinning 'round me? ♪ ♪ Probably ♪ ♪ Hold on ♪ Whoo! Five, six, seven, eight. Really, really... to make it something, you really gotta... you know, do somethin'. Like your birthing-a-baby face, like, "Ah!" Like, it's like "Ta!" So they can see your face. Come and give me... a... kiss! I was never on a team in high school. I didn't play a sport. I don't know what it was like to hang out with friends of mine and be working on a collective thing that's bigger than what you're doing. [♪♪♪] You know, we're all trying to figure out what we're doing, but it's never disrespectful, and it feels like you're in a room of people-- I'm gonna cry. ♪ I'm gonna measure our love Against a stranger's ♪ ♪ A stranger's ♪ ♪ And make it personal ♪ It's just really hard to find groups of women that, like, you know, have your back, no matter what. ♪ ... Argue, argue... ♪ It's two. It's two moves. It's not just this. ♪ I wanna be a better martyr ♪ ♪ If you're feeling bad for me Well, then-- ♪ 'Kay, horses look ahead, and then feel the riders. They would mosey up for the first one... ♪ I wanna crash A little harder ♪ ♪ I only feel If it warms me ♪ ♪ Or hurts me ♪ We were home-schooled until I was in eleventh grade. That chunk of time to grow with other people was kinda taken out. I know how to be friends with a girl now, and what it's like to support someone through a team. ♪ I can only give you what I have ♪ But is this true, that one time you played-- uh, you were playing in the game, and you just asked someone from the other team to give you the ball? Uh, that is a tactic that I... [Jimmy Fallon cracking up] It's called "psychological... basketball"? [Laughing hard] No, it's not! Yeah, it is. I can tell that you're making it up right now. Sss-- I don't care. We were losing really badly, and the point guard on the other team was, like, bringing the ball down, and I was defending her. So I go down there, and while I'm dribblin', I'm like, "Hey, my teammates want a picture with you," you know, "after the game." And I was like, "Uh, yeah, if you give me the ball right now." [Fallon]: Whatever. Did it work? Yeah, she gave it to me. It... the... yeah. Then everybody looked, 'cause it was like one of those<i> Space Jam</i> moments. Like, "You never lose the ball. How did she get the ball that easy?" And then, I just, like... went to the-- our side and made the lay-up shot. [crowd cheering] [cracking up] That was so... That is so you! That is so you! That's right. Well, you'd think you'd jump up and down or do something, but, no, you're just like-- So I was like, "I took one for the team." But then my teammates was mad that I let them score, so it was like one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situations. It wasn't worth it, 'cause we still lost, so... Yeah, we got our photo. Um, we posted it on Instagram, and then my Instagram went up, so she helped me get a little bit more followers, so shout out to Aubrey. We write in order to act. Uh, we both love acting. We both like writing a lot. To what, you know, the reason we got into writing was because we were trying to get roles for ourselves. You can make your-- you can make own stuff and be able to have a career from that instead of waiting around for the phone to ring. The chances of getting a lead in a TV-- someone else's TV show is very, very slim, but if you're generating your own material and you're a creator, you can create a show for yourself to be the lead in, and you actually kind of, um, have a better chance of, like, yeah, getting at that level, I think. Yeah. Okay, so we did a web series called<i> Ghost Ghirls</i> for Yahoo and that was kind of the first, um, substantial thing that we really ever did. [♪♪♪] [knocking on door] Ah, great. You must be the "Ghost Ghirls". Um, we're not set on that name yet. It's what we put on the flyer. We were actually thinking of a couple of names, like, what do you think about-- "Specter Detectors" or "The Ghoulie Ghirls". Or "Ghoul Power". What was the one that we had--? You guys are asking my opinion on your name? If you think of any. Yeah, yeah. Doing that project was how we got really good representation, and from there, we just, you know, got auditions and got more writing opportunities. Um, that was a couple years ago, so... Like, we don't have to work our day jobs anymore. Well, yeah. As of a couple months ago, for me. Yeah. And, like, it's probably two years, maybe, for me. [laughs] But I might have to go back. [Amanda]: Working with Maria is awesome. We have a really good dynamic. We have a tendency to, like, not get a lot done when it's just the two of us, because there's so many, like, fun videos to watch online. Writing partners, acting partners... um, we just get each other's sense of humour. Their brand of comedy is so bizarre and so entrusting, and I love it so much. They're so funny together. You laugh at things you didn't-- Like, they're not<i> jokes.</i> They're the way that they say things. Sometimes we play this game, um, to generate ideas, and it's called "The Logline Game", and we created it. Are you guys ready? So what we do-- We played this when we were bored on-set in, um-- -What we do-- -...Atlanta. ...Is we, um-- [Shrieks]: Ahh! [cracking up] My God! Goddammit! [still laughing] Sorry. You're not! So sorry. [between laughs]: You bitch! I've done it to her before. I-- This is a real pen. [resumes cracking up] [still laughing] That's not nice. I'm sorry. It's a joke pen. It shocks her and she-- [Laughs] Here, I'll do it. No! No! [laughing] No. Look, I'll do it. It makes my bones-- [shrieking]: Ahh! [both cracking up] It's awful. You know, the ripping's hard. 'Kay, which one's the action? This is the action. Okay. So this is an ac-- This is a... Yeah, that's a resolution. Are you sure? So, like, I'll pick one subject, one res... one action, and one resolution. And then you can read it now. Okay. So... "A woman with a dog-body and a serious sex drive..." "Three Mexican cartel smugglers with a love for Pee-wee Herman." "Fakes her own death to evade tax fraud." "And leave everything behind to pursue a life of luxury as a cruise-ship captain." Well, I wouldn't watch that movie. Anyway, that's how you play. We don't-- We-- It's not a Hollywood secret, or anything like that. It isn't-- it's just something fun that we do. Yeah. To bide our time. Waiting for the phone to ring. [♪♪♪] There's comedians, there's... It's just like... We don't have any moms, huh? No. We don't have any moms, but mad respect to Moms. That's me. That's the girl I beat. Gotta be "Lights Out" again. I gotta be "Lights Out" again. I gotta make at least 9 out of 10 shots, you know, but it hasn't happened yet. Well, when I was in, like, sixth grade, my friends would call me "Lights Out," 'cause I was a decent three-point shooter. So they were like "Laura 'Lights Out'." That's what they called me, so, okay, great. "Lights Out", let's keep it. It started to evolve into the next meaning, which was college, which just meant, like, just lights out with partying. Now it kind of is, like, "Lights out, Ramona. It's bedtime." It's that kinda "lights out" now. Some nights, I can be a little lights-out with basketball, but, nah, not often, it's mainly, "Mom, lights out." You know what? We'll watch Donald Duck later, after dance, after Toes and Tap. My cousin's son was watching<i> Ellen</i> . They were watching<i> Ellen</i> when the picture came on, and she texted me and was like, "We saw your picture on<i> Ellen."</i> He couldn't believe, number one, that we knew someone on<i> Ellen.</i> Number two, that moms can play basketball. Ramona, what's your name? Look at the camera. What's your name? Say it loud! Ramona! Ramona what? Ramona Jack. Ramona Jack! And how old are you? Three. Three. [tapping foot] We think she's got a future in Tee-ball. She can really knock it out. Some over the fence, we've lost them. They don't speak English, though, so we can't ask 'em for the ball. [Announcer]:<i> Well, it looks like a small child</i> <i> has made her way onto the court.</i> She ran on the court only one time, so that's a victory. I gotta say that was definitely one of my other motivators to join the league, was just, like, oh, I wanna take... I wanna, like, instill the love of basketball and just friendship and playing on a team. This is it, you know. This is how we start it. We plant the seed, and then, yeah, she gets to come and-- Usually, like, my brother, like her uncle, somebody comes and just babysits and she runs around the whole gym--inside, outside. -Mommy? -Yeah? Mommy, my box. What box? Never thought in, like, this part of my life-- with a child and everything-- that all of a sudden, I would start playing basketball again. You-- you changed. Outfit three. [Whispers]: Outfit three. She's ready for dance class. Look at her, changing herself. Obviously, number one, I wanna be a good mom, and then, right next to that is an equal basketball player. <i> It's time for "Pistol Shrimps" basketball.</i> <i> My name is Matt Gourley.</i> <i> And I'm Mark McConville.</i> What is happening this season? They've gone from a-- dare I say-- last place adjacent team to undefeated four games into the season. [Mark]: Well, it's the Pistol Shrimps taking off against "L.A. Nail Clippers". [Chuckles] Stephanie Allynne makes the free throw. This is a hungry, motivated Pistol Shrimps team, Matt, no doubt about it. 'Cause this one's pretty much locked up. The Pistol Shrimps take on the "Ba Dunka Dunks"! [Matt]: That's right-- they've faced off against the "Dunks" before. [Mark]: You can feel the tension. [Matt]: That's it. Game's over. It's 30-28. Of course, we were like, "It's fine, don't worry." But deep down, we're like, "What the--" [Whistle blasts] [Mark]: This one goes out to all "mah boogies" as the Pistol Shrimps take on "Space Glam." [Matt]: 17-0 here, one of the biggest leads the Shrimps have ever had. They've become one of the teams they used to fear! [Mark]: They are playing unbelievable basketball right now. Undefeated. Ugh... We dream to be there. [Matt]: These girls are on a roll. Shufflin' on down and doin' it for you. [Mark]: Yes, they are, Matt. Very reminiscent of the 1985 Chicago Bears. They do like to dance. Yeah, let's go practice. Let's go practice, y'all. [overlapping chatter] [crowd applauding] [Host]: We've never done this before. It's very exciting. Um, we have an entire basketball team. Guys, give it up for the Pistol Shrimps! Remember, right foot first. Yeah, right. [music plays] ♪ We are the Shrimps shufflin' through it ♪ ♪ Shufflin' down to a net for you ♪ ♪ We're so bad We know we're good ♪ ♪ But we'll do fine Like we knew we would ♪ ♪ You know we're just shrimpin' for fun ♪ ♪ Struttin' our stuff for everyone ♪ [crowd cheering] [Matt]: Whoa. Whoa! She just elbowed her! Jesus, I have no idea what just happened there. Elbowed "Mah Boogie" in the face. Got crazy in here. Oh, my God. It's like on the<i> Walking Dead,</i> when they kill a character that you like. I am Ingrid Walla. I am also known as "Han Mah Boogie". In fact, I should say I'm "Han Mah Boogie", and I'm also known as Ingrid Walla. Number 21. [Matt]: But it doesn't stop there, Mark. Tell us about the new member of the Pistol Shrimps. [Mark]: Well, she's tall, she can ball, and that's not all! She's borrowing Molly Hawkey's jersey tonight. [Matt]: So we don't even know her name. Let's throw out a couple of name options and see if we can land on one we like. "Han... Mah Boogie!" "Han Mah Boogie" it is, Matt. "Han Mah Boogie". You're banned the poodoo now. "Han Mah Boogie" was either gibberish or a<i> Star Wars</i> reference. It has to be one of those two things, 'cause that's maybe 90% of, like, their comedy stylings. 'Cause I'm sure I... If it was a Tuesday, I probably just watched<i> Star Wars.</i> [laughing] You can't explain what comes out of Mark's mouth, so I'm not going to try. Apparently, I thought that they just made that up on the spot, but apparently, it's a<i> Star Wars</i> reference, so... [♪♪♪] Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan... [♪♪♪] [Jabba the Hutt]:<i> Solo!</i> [Han]:<i> Right here, Jabba.</i> Jabba. So that's from the Special Edition of<i> Star Wars,</i> where they re-put in that Jabba the Hutt scene, But it was originally played by a man that they then dubbed over with a really shitty CG Jabba the Hutt. [Jabba speaks] You didn't think I was gonna run, did you? "Han, mah boogie." The subtitles say, "Han, my boy." So it's the way that he's saying, "Han, my boy," because he owes Jabba a lot of money. And now he's speaking his Jabba language. I don't know what it is. And it means "Han, my boy," in Huttese. But it sounds like he's going, "Han, mah boogie." You're my boogie! Who-- I love you! You're my boogie. Han, my boy... Han, mah boogie. And then, Chewbacca comes in. Han, mah boogie, to me, is kind of a term of endearment now. Well, it's become this character almost, even though it's describing a real great player on our team. Uh, but now there's "Han Mah Boogie" T-shirts and "Han Mah Boogie" pins. Now it's a saying, to say, "You're my boogie," kind of like saying "you're my friend." That's my boo-- That's mah boogie. Like, Matt's "mah boogie." The Pistol Shrimps are mah boogies, like, they're the boogies. We're the boogies. You're mah boogie. And that's a better-looking Jabba than there is in the Special Edition. Ingrid should scream that every time she blocks a shot. I would love it. Han, mah boogie! The Pistol Shrimp Shuffle! I'm a Transactional Entertainment attorney. So that means I basically do all sorts of different deals-- you know, from record deals to music publishing deal-- pretty broad, but all entertainment-based. I work in Santa Monica, and the games are usually either in the Valley or in Hollywood, and so getting there, you know, during rush hour is extremely difficult. I'll be here all day, and, like, get really stressed out at the end of the day, and then, I have to, like, drive, you know, however far to go to the game. But then, like, once I go, I'm always so happy that I went. Like, you know, the whole car ride, I'll be just be, like, upset the entire time, being like, "Ugh! Why am I even doing this? I should just turn around and go home." And then, without fail, I'll be, like, so happy. It's a great antidote to the stress of my job. I got to the point where I had to, like, tell my boss. I was like, "So... I'm on this basketball team "and we play on Tuesday nights, so is it okay if I leave early?" And he was so supportive of it, I was totally blown away. So now when I'm leaving early on Tuesdays, he's like, "Have a good game." [Laughs] [Mark]: You're listening to Pistol Shrimps Radio! Tonight's match, the Pistol Shrimps against the "Traveling Pants". [Matt]: That's no lie. And, uh, not only have I not eaten, what I have eaten has been pure sugar. [Mark]: Matt, why do you do it to yourself? [♪♪♪] [Matt]: Quick pass over to "Evil Hag" Aubrey Plaza, who puts up an easy two points. [Mark]: Lookin' like an easy win for the Pistol Shrimps here. [Matt]: Jesse Thomas, up the court to Laura "Lights Out" Jack, who shoots the three! [Mark]: Was that a three? Could've been a four, for all I know. -[Buzzer blares] -It's halftime. That's the right time for<i> the Halftime Sock Report</i> with Jensen Karp. [♪♪♪] I am a big sock guy, uh, which I think now has become a calling card for me, unfortunately. But I liked when players on certain teams would wear sort of funky, stand-out socks. And so I pitched Matt and Mark on the idea that I would do a sock report at every halftime. He, I guess, is like-- you know, has, like, kind of like a sock fetish maybe, or something, and so he... he just likes to talk about the socks we wear. So he just loves women's socks. It's borderline creepy, but... it's very informative. He's a sick guy. He watches the first half and writes in his phone-- Yeah. ...Sock notes, and then comes over and gives us the breakdown on the socks. It is a good opportunity, though, to, like, display some pretty tight sock game. Yeah. The Shrimps always are wearin' some nice socks. Uh, some Hall-of-Fame socks have been a pair that just say "Eat Shit" on them. The brevity of that, I like a lot. And Paisley wore Abraham Lincoln socks, and I'm a sucker for the U.S. <i> The Bachelor's</i> Molly Hawkey is wearing a white, pink, and black number. If that doesn't win the heart of Ben, nothing will. "Han Mah Boogie" is sporting an entire solar system on her socks-- planets, stars, moons, and satellites. And if you look close, you may see Matt Damon producing a movie that only the Golden Globes considers a comedy. Stephanie Allynne's sporting socks that are little and grey. We call those the socks "Formerly known as Prince". We've seen Nicki Minaj sort of in her butt pose, sort of bending down-- that's a good one. We've seen the Drake album cover with the faces sort of looking at each other. We've had eye-charts. We've had all sorts of things and... The only thing that I don't like is when you can't see the socks, 'cause why am I even there? [♪♪♪] We do get riled up about the refs-- Yeah. Because, in official sports broadcasts, you'd never hear the, you know, the official radio voice of any team go, like, "That ref's a horse's ass." Yeah. He's a bunch of... reel rods... He's nothin' more than a thrift shop smell. Yeah. You'd never hear that. You might hear that. [Matt]: Referee "Make Baskets" has commanded the field-- [Mark]: Referee "Chris de Bird" with the "fowl call" there. Referee "Scarborough Nikes"-- I saw some guys up on the stage who were actually doing commentary during the game, but I wasn't sure, you know, which team they were with or exactly what was going on. Well, we certainly don't know the referees' names, and it's more fun just to make them up. Referee "Horseshit O'Malley" just said something about something. "Pastor Walla", Referee "Pastor Walla"-- And Referee "Flex Luther"... [Matt]: Referee "Justice for All". [Mark]: Referee "Ride the Lightning" just takes a walk right down to here 'cause it's... [Matt]: And Referee "Cliff 'Em All". [laughing] The lesser-known tribute to Cliff-- What was his name? I think the refs are pretty cool. I know sometimes our coaches get frustrated with them. Some of them are really serious. Ah, the referees... They stress a lot, it seems, before the games, to, like-- [Deep voice]: "You guys, keep it safe." They, like, won't let us curse and stuff like that, which I think is funny, because, um, like, we're not, like, in seventh grade. Well, I know there's this one ref that everyone calls "Sexy Ref". One of 'em's real sexy. His butt. [laughing] -He's okay. -Yeah. We'll let him live. [bold, brassy theme plays] [Matt]: Now's as good a time as any to tell you we saw "Sexy Ref" in the parking lot-- drives a Hyundai Elantra. It's one of the sexier Hyundais. His Hyundai Elantra works out. [Mark]: His car goes to the gym. [Matt]: It sure does. [Mark]: Yeah. [♪♪♪] And he's not at a lot of games, at least he wasn't this season, but when he's there, it's just really... it's-- it's a really nice surprise. [Ba Dunka Dunk Player]: The Pistol Shrimps just, like, fuckin' pulled ahead, you know, and it goes to show, like, how much they must be practicing, and just got way better as a team, too, even if they don't practice-- I don't know if they do. I think they do. We don't practice. That's why we lose to them every time. [♪♪♪] We're at Poinsettia Park. We usually come here every Sunday to practice. It's like our chance to ask questions. [players laughing] Really hard to get a court. Like, no one respected us at all. Yeah. And now that all the girls come and scrimmage every weekend, like, we're a presence here now. The fact that we've been winning so much, finally, this year, after four seasons of playing, is a testament to our coaches teaching us, and us listening to it, and going to practice every week, and working towards it. When I was a kid, I never thought that I was gonna be coaching a women's rec league in Hollywood, and that's how I was gonna get on<i> Sports Center.</i> I mean, I don't know about you, but that wasn't my life. Were we on<i> Sports Center?</i> Been on<i> Ellen,</i> too. What? Biz takes it very seriously... not in a way that makes us uncomfortable-- but he really believes in us. Our coaches are amazing. They're so dedicated. Two guys just, like, takin' on a whole team of crazy girls. [♪♪♪] Totally just volunteering their time, you know, for nothing-- they're not getting paid or anything. You know, what I will say, the first season, they bought us these live, fresh Jordans. Yes! If we can say anything, it's that we want Jordans every season. Every season! This was a shirt that was designed by Melissa Stetten. But you had to pay for that. I had to buy this! I've had the same shirt since season one. It's so funny to see them, like, strategizing. I'm like... It's so funny. And then, sometimes, they forget that we, as a whole, don't really know what's goin' on. Biz will say something like, "Ingrid, you have to stay on the low block." What the hell is a "low block"? Okay, are you number one, number two? What does a number one do? What does a number two do? Where do I go? Like, nobody knows what "X" is them. Our plays, which we have a pretty hard time running successfully, um, are named after marine... his favourite marine-life theme. "Lobster", which was previously known as "Left", was where I simply have to remember to drive to the left side of the court, and then two people come up and pick for me-- it's a double-screen. I go off the double-screen, both the girls roll-- one to the basket, one to the top of the key. Hopefully something happens, and sometimes it does. "Rockfish" is the same exact play as "Lobster"-- [laughs] ...only I go to the right. "Goldfish" is a new awesome play that we're whippin' out just for the championship. We're the "ship"-- as I'd like to call it-- and it's basically a perimeter-quick-pass set-up before the two three zones. And I've never said this many basketball terms. It's, like, making me feel crazy. [♪♪♪] The greatest thing that I've received from it is the friendship of the other girls. These girls are all role models, in my opinion. They're all such good girls, that I would consider my sisters. I would hope my daughters grow up to be just like these girls, and I'm just so proud to be a part of this team in any way, shape, or form, much less their coach. Hey, good practice, girls. Guys, best practice ever? [all cheering] Yeah! Pretty good practice. I'll never be on the Pistol Shrimps. Did somebody say Pistol Shrimps? No way! Bounce pass! Cool! Layup! Yes! Watch this! What! Slam dunk! Radical. Any sports franchise, if they really want to be successful, needs an endorsement from a major fast food chain. So I thought it would be good to pretend that the Pistol Shrimps had an endorsement with Burger King. We made a fake Burger King commercial. Well, it was a real Burger King commercial, but not, like, really sponsored by Burger King. I've so badly wanted to be, like, in a '90s era commercial. That was, honestly, everything that I was born to be. Hey, kid. You're all right. [guffaws] That's right! <i> Burger King! Have it your way.</i> Well, I think, originally, we were trying to get sponsored by Burger King. I don't know why. I think it started out as a joke, and then we were like, "Oh, well, maybe we really could get a sponsor," 'cause honestly, the uniforms are expensive. And so, I don't know who contacted AQUAhydrate. I think it was probably Maria. And they were like, "Sure," like, "we wanna sponsor a women's rec league basketball team." All I know is, Maria sent us an email. "AQUAhydrate wants to sponsor us, give us water." And it was like, "AQUAhydrate?" [♪♪♪] We are branded. And the company's owned by Mark Wahlberg. <i> Good!</i> -Water. -Now give me the AQUAhydrate. Yo, Mark, what's up with that AQUAhydrate? Ultra hydrating, fast recovery. It removes all the toxins and acid from my body. -Is it good? -I don't know. You tell me. We haven't met Mark Wahlberg, for whatever reason. I'm not sure if he's aware. AQUAhydrate gives us bottles of water that we can drink at games, um, that will keep us hydrated without all of... all of the riffraff that's in other bottled water. AQUAhydrate, the best water in town. AQUAhydrate. Drinks for water peoples. <i> Tonight, the Pistol Shrimps go up against the Shecago Bulls.</i> <i> Look at those Pistol Shrimps on top of the league right now.</i> <i> The game is underway as Jesse Thomas snags the ball.</i> <i> Oh!</i> <i> Three points for the Shrimps.</i> <i> On fleek, man.</i> <i> Isn't that a thing?</i> <i> I don't know what it means, and I don't care.</i> <i> It's like "on point."</i> Jesse Thomas hit, like, 20 3-pointers. "Doo-doo-doo," like, shot the ball, and it would go in every time, and I was on the bench like, "Oh, my God!" <i> Jesse Thomas with the ball.</i> <i> Oh, Jesse Thomas just punishing the Bulls here</i> <i> with a shot.</i> <i> It looks like she's just doing a load of laundry,</i> <i> you know what I mean?</i> <i> She's just looks so relaxed doing this.</i> Jesse's communicating on the court. I feel like it's kind of the reason that we started winning. <i> Jesse Thomas has opened a portal</i> <i> in this basketball net.</i> <i> Did she sell her golden fiddle to the devil or what?</i> <i> But Jesse Thomas might be the greatest basketball player</i> <i> I've ever seen.</i> She's kinda like the Webber out there, and she's just like-- You know? She's also a lesbian, but this was supposed to be Spider-Man. [♪♪♪] <b> [♪♪♪]</b> ♪ I'll hit the road ♪ ♪ I'm heading on and darlin', so I'm told ♪ [♪♪♪] ♪ Faded rollin' stone ♪ ♪ On the dashboard singing "Don't let go" ♪ ♪ 'Cause I've never been the one who likes to jog in place ♪ ♪ I wanna go somewhere no one knows my name ♪ ♪ I wanna go somewhere where the seasons change ♪ ♪ Oh... ♪ [Jesse Thomas]: Yeah, I wake up every day and work on music. It feels like what I do. It's weird, it took me a long time to feel comfortable saying I'm a musician. But I feel like that's okay now. I'm doin' it. If anyone on the team has something they're doing, whether it's, like, Angela's movie came out, or Paisely's husband's band was playing, like, she's the first person to be like, "I have a ticket for this, I'm going to this," all the time. She's the one who supports everyone. ♪ ...who likes to jog in place ♪ ♪ I wanna go somewhere no one knows my name ♪ ♪ I wanna go somewhere where the seasons change... ♪ She's an incredible musician. I've been going to her shows for, like, eight years, ever since I met her. ♪ Ooh, Lorraine... ♪ [♪♪♪] ♪ Oh, feet, don't you fail me now... ♪ And, like, it was just recent, like, last year that I, like-- I don't want to say, "Came out," 'cause I think that's a silly phrasing-- but that I started talking about it openly. Joining the team, no one ever came off judgmental about anything. In fact, being in the league made me more comfortable about living my true self, because everyone was so confident in their true self. ♪ ...lock and key... ♪ Being around really smart, strong women, who don't apologize, know their talents, go after what they want, it's inspiring. It's, like, changed me, for sure. I don't feel like I need to, like, lean on anybody. I just, like, feel more confident to, like, go get what I want, because I see other women doing it, like, every day. ♪ Ooh, Lorraine... ♪ [♪♪♪] Yeah, there's not really training. Part of it is just genetics and how you look. But then, on top of it, it's being responsible. [distant laughter] Girls have to show up to their jobs on time, and to their castings on time... look manicured and nice, and not too tired, and be pleasant, and be professional. A lot of girls start when they're 14 or 15, and then get really burnt out by the time they're 22. So I think since I started when I was 20 and... I went to college, and I had normal teenage years, that I didn't feel like I missed out on anything. So it just is a job to me now, and I enjoy it a lot. I can't really imagine doing anything else. Oh, my God, I can't walk in these. It was raining earlier. Ugh, it's freezing. I didn't move to L.A. for this. [laughs] It's cool that Melissa and I are both models. I think we have an understanding of what each other's lives are like. We are coming sometimes from shoots, so we can talk about the castings we went to that day. Sometimes, we've been to the same casting. I've been modelling for about six years, mainly in New York, and then I went to London, and then back here for the past few years. It's fun. It's a good job to have. You asked why I want to represent Paisley, it's because of the Pistol Shrimps. He's seen it in action. Yeah, I love it. I'm a huge fan. I don't know how 17-year-old girls do it. Like, these young girls come from countries to model, and, like, some girls start crying when, like, people tell them, like, "Oh, you're too fat for these pants." They're like, "Aw..." I'm like, "You're not! You're pretty! "Go to college! Do something with your life." 'Cause I like having it as, like, a random job that I do every now and then, 'cause I like eating pizza. Like, I can't work out seven days a week. I can't... fuckin' drink beet juice all the time. Like, I'm not gonna do that. Like, I have to live a somewhat normal life. And, like, it's those girls that work out every day and go to yoga at, like, 6:00 in the morning, good for you, but there's... I'm way too fuckin' lazy to do that all the time, so if that's what you wanna do with your life, go for it. <i> Tonight's opposition, the Princess Lay-Ups.</i> <i> My name is Matt Gourley.</i> <i> And I'm Mark McConville.</i> <i> We're here at the triple P, Pan Pacific Park.</i> <i> Mark, we have three games left in this season.</i> [blows whistle] <i> Whoa!</i> <i> Cirque du soleil over there.</i> <i> They want to win.</i> <i> There's blood in the water.</i> <i>Um, don't bring your daughters.</i> [final buzzer rings] <i> Pound nails into this coffin.</i> <i> It's over.</i> <i> 42, 24.</i> It's a true story of like, you know, a Little Giants, Mighty Ducks. They were horrible, and now they're pretty decent. Right? I mean, they're pretty good. They're pretty decent. Every girl just found out their role on the team, this love that they're generating, this team. And we got a couple of the ringer players in there, the Kellys of the world, the Adam Banks of the world, to kind of make them better. And I think, you know, when you're around a really good player, that-- that brings everyone up. Oh, thanks, man. It's me, right? -It's not funny. -That was funny. It's not funny at all. Please say hello to Aubrey Plaza. [cheering and applause] Now, this is, uh, this is an injury, not an affectation, correct? That's right. Well, this is not a joke. It took her a little while to get here, because you actually really are hurt. I am. What happened to you? I tore my ACL playing basketball. Did you hear how that happened? [sighing] Did you hear how it happened? I think she stuck around after our game and played on the team that her sister's on and her boyfriend coaches, which you're not supposed to do. But the scandal is that I was actually playing on a different team, in disguise. When I tore my ACL, I was wearing a wig, and, um, it was quite a scene. And then everybody found out that it was you in wig. Yeah, I was wearing a blonde, curly wig that, um, I have named Yolanda. [Ellen, laughing]: Uh-huh. Wow. Well, I'm sorry that happened to you. And let that be a lesson to-- to try to cheat people. Yes. I'm so sorry for what I have done. [laughter] I got, like, knocked down, and then my knee snapped in half, so it didn't really work out for me. And now I can't play. "You tore it? Come on, we need you." Like, your sister's team? Your sister's! I hate it. It makes me sad. It does. Yeah. She didn't have to play in that second game. Yeah, it's actually really awful, because she's actually one of our best players. She's one of the few people that has great skills as far as manoeuvering around players. So it will be a loss, for sure. She probably can't play next season, I'm assuming. No, no, no. She's definitely got to go through some rehab. Some rehab probably. My doctor told me I wouldn't be able to play basketball until next Fall. And even then, I don't know if I can play, because my, like, manager is like, "You're not playing basketball anymore. You realize that, right?" And I'm like, "What are you talking about?" That's, like, a big part of my life. But, um, those people don't understand that. They think it's, like, a joke. So they're like, "Why would you risk that to play basketball?" And I'm like, "'Cause I wanna play." <i> Who are the Pistol Shrimps playing tonight?</i> <i> The answer, the Blouses.</i> <i> Oh, I thought it was a bunch of little kids,</i> <i> 'cause that's all that's on the field right now.</i> We knew that this was the game that was gonna, you know, really... Like, are we gonna have an undefeated season, you know? <i> And like AT&T, you gotta connect with the net,</i> <i> or you're a piece of shit wireless provider.</i> <i> But the Blouses are on the board with two points.</i> <i> This is the first time</i> <i> that the Pistol Shrimps have trailed out of the gate</i> <i> in as long as I can remember.</i> <i> Are they ever gonna shoot the ball?</i> <i> No, they're playin' a whole bunch of pinball.</i> <i> What a bunch of crap.</i> <i> Oh, "Mah Boogie" slaps it back into Pistol Shrimps' gravity,</i> <i> and passes it off to "Lights Out" Jack</i> <i> as they move it back to our type of town.</i> <i> Gallagher, what did you think of that basket there?</i> <i> [groaning and gagging]</i> [whistle blowing] [♪♪♪] <i> Jesse Thomas not feeling well tonight.</i> <i> Jesse, get better, we need you here on the court.</i> And I think we only had six or seven players. I just remember feeling exhausted... Like, I couldn't, like, give anymore, and that was frustrating. And we're used to having, like, 10, so I'm, like tired. Like, trying to be a point guard. I'm not that good at it. [whistle blowing] <i> Three seconds left,</i> <i> Blasucci will take that final shot--</i> <i> [whistle blowing] No good.</i> <i> Just like the son of victory,</i> <i> the Blouses...</i> [crowd cheering] <i> Aw, fuck it.</i> <i> You can't win 'em all, and it turns out they're right,</i> <i> 'cause the Pistol Shrimps are gonna fall tonight,</i> <i> 37 to 11.</i> [♪♪♪] ♪ What do you dream while I'm wide awake? ♪ ♪ Picking at the seams ♪ ♪ Frozen like statues ♪ ♪ I'm restless but afraid to move ♪ ♪ We could be fire ♪ [♪♪♪] ♪ We could be fire ♪ ♪ Whoo-oo... ♪ ♪ Ooh... ♪ [♪♪♪] ♪ Whoo-oo-oo... ♪ ♪ Ooh... ♪ [♪♪♪] You kinda of have a lot of surface conversations with some pretty plastic people out here. I never really reached out to, like, strangers, or, like, random people that I want to be friends with. Like, Jesse was like the closest thing to, like, a new friend that I had living in L.A. It's pretty intimidating having, like, social anxieties. You know, going to therapists, taking medication, which has, like, surprisingly helped. So I've been, like, on and off anxiety medication for, like, the past 10 years. Um... Yup, that's my brain. [chuckles] No matter how, like, terrible I'm feeling, like, Sunday morning, like, always going to practice. And, like, 100% of the time, I will always feel better. Like, that's just how it is. Even with acting, when a girl gives you a compliment, like, "Good job on that show." Or like, "Congrats on booking that thing--" Like, there is that, like... knife-vibe about it, but there isn't any knife-vibes in the league at all. It's kinda nice to have something else to talk about that doesn't sound like... you know, Los Angeles. You're not talking about a job you just worked on, or an audition you just had. "What-- what'd you book? What are you working on now?" Now it's like, "What? What am I working on? I'm working on my layup." There's not, like, a small-town feeling unless you create it, which is exactly what the basketball league is. It's truly like, "Good job, girl," or "Go, girl. You did it, girl." You know, it's all really positive, and there isn't any gritted teeth. I like the idea that I can show up, and... and play basketball with a bunch of random girls that don't give a shit about television or movies, you know. And it's like we're just, like, living our lives and... some of us have kids, and some of us have weird jobs. It just reminds you that we're all, like, the same, you know? It's an equalizer or something. [♪♪♪] Somehow, it's been, like, really comfortable for me, 'cause I guess playing sports is something that I've done my whole life, and I've always felt comfortable playing sports. It seems to, like, ease the anxiety, so... Being on this team, definitely. Like, we all have a common goal, so we're all, like, trying to win, trying to learn to play basketball, and also, like, hanging around each other, and just making new friends. -To basketball! -To Hollywood! [laughing] [♪♪♪] I noticed on Facebook, everybody's profile pictures changed to their basketball pictures, or them in their uniform, or them making a shot. And it went from a really beautiful, hot headshot to this, like, aggressive basketball player, just this beast. Like, so far from "Look how great I look" to this "I'm making a shot," or whatever. You don't think, how can we really, like, grow as humans and, like, get better at our whole lives and our work lives. And you don't think, like, basketball is the underlying thing. It's, it's like meditation or something. And it's so humbling to learn something new as an adult, and just kind of put your pride away, and know that I don't know anything about what I'm doing. [♪♪♪] It is a little wacky and different than our regular leagues, but what's wrong with that? You know, it's, it's grown... it's grown a league that didn't exist before, and it obviously was something needed, because if we now have 26 teams-- that's 26 teams times, you know, 12 to 15 women per team-- that's a lot of women out there that wanted to play basketball. I think just more like on a, you know, on a global level, it just... When you put it out there, it has to trickle down, you know. When girls-- I hope my niece-- My niece lives-- You know, my niece and nephew live in the Pan Pacific area, and I hope my niece sees them playing, you know? I hope she wants to be like them. It's nice for kids to see those role models in more of, like, a realistic capacity. It's great that they can see 'em at the Staple Center in a WNBA game, but that's not somebody in their community that's at their rec centre all the time. I think that's important. [♪♪♪] <i> Here's the scenario tonight,</i> <i> a Pistol Shrimps win is a championship.</i> <i> Period.</i> <i> Tonight, the Pistol Shrimps face off</i> <i> against the Miss Demeanors.</i> [♪♪♪] <i> Jesse Thomas will d-d-d-d-dribble the ball.</i> <i> Nice inside pass.</i> <i> Puts it up, and it's good for two!</i> <i> This is a 5 to 0 game for these, our Pistol Shrimps,</i> <i> in this, our time of triumph.</i> [♪♪♪] <i>Is it worth it? Let me work it. Pistol Shrimps radio.</i> <i> "Han Mah Boogie" with one of her trademark smack-downs.</i> <i> Uh-oh, the Miss Demeanors are on the board,</i> <i> and it's 5-2 here.</i> [♪♪♪] [cheering and applauding] <i> There is so much sound happening here right now,</i> <i> that I can't even finish my sentence.</i> [♪♪♪] <i> That is it, this game is over.</i> <i> 23-15.</i> <i> Pistol Shrimps win.</i> <i> They are your division champs.</i> [♪♪♪] [♪♪♪] Okay, we just need to do a little photoshop action here. We can't have a team picture with a couple of girls missing. Save, and that's the Shrimps. [♪♪♪] ♪ Go! ♪ [♪♪♪]
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Channel: Free Movies By Cineverse
Views: 140,504
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Keywords: Cinedigm movies, Download free movies, FFF, FULL FREE MOVIES, Full Free Films, Latest free movies, V Movies, cinedigm, free movies by cinedigm, free youtube movies, full action movies, latest free movies in english, science fiction movies, watch full movies on youtube for free, Aubrey Plaza, Stephanie Allynne, Maria Blasucci, Steven Brydle, Brent Hodge, Basketball, women, moms, writers, actors, comedians, sport, documentary, comedy, comedy documentary, the pistol shrimps, musicians
Id: xTPRamV2Qd8
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Length: 78min 40sec (4720 seconds)
Published: Mon Apr 25 2022
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