The Pirate Simon Porn Saga at Barstool Sports || Barstool Documentary Series

somebody did something they know they did it I'm gonna find out who did it and then we started the investigations everybody in the office we put him under the heat lamp we put a leap light right in their face and we tried to get to the bottom of the mystery [Music] you ready I got this thing here today from Comcast notice of action under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act says we received like we did something illegal and it's for something called what said please don't meet me please don't be please don't be me so Simon was an intern back in Milton he was there all summer and he was wallpaper I mean I really didn't even know he was there I barely talked to him I probably said two words to him I didn't know his name I didn't know what the hell it was in regards to Simon down there told me it was you that's why I asked you I can't remember exactly why pirate Simon did it but he just blurted out my name and you just said my name he threw me under the bus and I was like what's going on here when I was reading the letter and I'm like what the [ __ ] is this and he piped up he's like pirates it's like yeah he knew exactly what a [ __ ] it was did I go that's a porn there was a blog that was written it was a merry [ __ ] kill blog about three porn stars in a pirate porn and I distinctly remember there being a download link in the blog and clicking the download link and downloading the pirate porn while I was at work sitting right next like right below where Dave sets [Music] what's up he just walked into the middle of the rundown set while it was going on sat on all my [ __ ] like he just took a seat and that was really the first time I ever interacted with the King Simon realize like how disrespectful you were to your boy big cat right here yeah a little bit I feel pretty bad now Walt [ __ ] invited you up in Simon just come in have a [ __ ] seat I think my initial thought at that point was like I just like don't want to tell my boss I did this while I was at work that was like Simon has been sitting down there for three months is waiting like with bated breath to be like hey Simon want you to come up I mean he just came up I pushed me out away sat down on my [ __ ] it's uh yeah the name of the porn was stagnant ease revenge torrenting stagnant ease revenge [Music] eBay the governor's daughter sigh I yes we're his daughters the please don't hurt us sir call me deviled egg Willie that's what me Maties call me yes I will dick Willie I think Nate maybe even wrote a blog about that specific porno yeah that's posted a Mary Mary [ __ ] kill for like like pirate porn depart pirate for movies that [ __ ] kid doesn't oughta stay below deck I mean it's crazy I had seen stag Nettie's revenge which is the porn that he watched he just did something know when you start talking Nate and pirate porn things go down that's a that's a slippery [ __ ] slope nothing he could if he was in the porn it wants a project nothing that Nate could do could surprise me in that regard I just picture him walking around with like an eyepatch on and like a captain hat a wooden leg as like an extra in some pirate porn I blame big cat originally and then recanted and blamed Nate because he was the one that wrote it I think when I just got nervous I third big hat on the bus no hard feelings sedan at all I feel bad I drew him under the bus in the office was like had a full-on boner just sitting there like oh I need to get this porn like ASA I've heard that makes me think it's Simon because right like we won't seen it all on the blog now I marry [ __ ] kills and videos and you know you look at GTA you're not like oh my god I got a jerk-off right now I could see Simon the intern being new to the game and point that yeah if Simon never came it would have been a passing moment like oh that's weird let's move on when Simon started making accusations I think Dan's like wait a minute didn't Nate write something say alright let's get to the bottom who did it I'm worried what the hell is Simon doing down there just throwing my name around whenever something bad happens and nobody admitted to it and then I decided I'm gonna find out who was watching porn in the office pretty much because like I they just checking off all over the place like he's her come on like a walls and [ __ ] hey you're still in the mix right I was answering his question you can like I'm going to interrogate the shut up I was [ __ ] heavily involved I was like the youngest I was one I've got [ __ ] on so everyone was like oh it's me it's me it's me it's me clear himself he tweeted me over the weekend there's a 99.9% chance it wasn't me like he doesn't even know like hey you shouldn't tell whether you've downloaded that porn or not dude I know I didn't download it myself I didn't go on my way to download it oh you had more downloaded for you or something no I I know it wasn't me but I'm not gonna say like I don't know wait a minute you know it wasn't you but you're not 100% sure it wasn't you know what nobody would own up to it Hank was so nervous and young he didn't do it but I know he basically admitted there was a chance he could have done it that's how nervous he was he said it was I think a 1 or 2 percent chance he did it I said I know it wasn't me that did it like but you're not you're not gonna like so I really did not understand like the torrenting of it I didn't want to say no because I was so scared of like getting caught in the lie where it's like I said no and then all of a sudden like they like look at my computer and somehow I like did it or whatever you're a hundred percent convinced you're not involved in any way 100% convinced ok so why how are you having trouble answering that though like three times I just meant like I was just kind of like I know it wasn't me i 100% know it wasn't me but I'm just gonna wait until it's awesome before like I go out of my way cuz like if there was someone point zero zero one percent chance where it was me like then I don't you know what I mean I don't want to come off as a lie it wasn't me and Simon like did not look guilty and I and I was I already well-known like no one knew who Simon was like literally what I said like no one in the public knew about him well that's what like I know I didn't go out of my way downloaded I ain't think about downloading nothing happened but like I checked my computer nothing was there but you never like until so like whoever it was comes out like you never know like you know I mean then cooler itself till this investigation is over I'm not worried at all so it sounds like you should be somebody did something they know they did it I'm gonna find out who did it and then we started the investigations everybody in the office we put him under the heat lamp we put the leap light right in their face and we tried to get to the bottom of the mystery you know really suspect he pulled it true or false of those facts facts Mill more came in with a folder full of facts where he was at the time that were you know cleared him of any wrongdoing being right here I have actually my torn history yeah so you can kind of see that's a year and a half so I don't use it often what do mean is a year year and a half of torn history I look familiar at all no okay so you're probably innocent that's actually I called Comcast and that's the port number that downloaded the pirate forum if it was me I would have just confessed right away cuz you had you had an excuse you could have just said I saw an 8-cent FK your money so basically without pointing a finger right now you're putting that time I don't want to point any fingers but sorry okay I'm just gay I don't know I know knows no I'm just kind of pointing out what I know I just asked Barbara who he thought he did because a puddle Berg would jump in like yeah I did it so I'm with no scuttlebutt Simon I got eyes on Simon he was he was also very nervous he was a human they were said he was texting them like a lot after you interrogated Hank on the rundown and he was like Louis I know about why they are they gonna interrogate this I mean Hank had a long history of lying so and he had been caught every time true or false true or false you have drank Arella oh look it's true true okay true or false you've broken into the garden with a butter knife true is that a crime no is it I don't know you don't know are you lying to me right now I had looked up do you think that's a crime probably okay I thought so he had this long history of being lying and devious and the fact that he left the door opens again maybe it was me I don't think you answered why you think there's a 1% chance you did it I I just I said I just don't want to come off as a liar like I know I'm what do you mean if you didn't do it you can't lie I know I know I really miss mispronounce my my words there the day it all broke Simon cut his hair he came in like looking at a nervous reaction oh yeah I got a haircut the next day after seeing what I looked like on the rundown dave has to this day said that I did it because I'm guilty which I won't say didn't play a role in it but a lot of it had to do with like what I looked like on camera all right so all right so you read the pirate porn blog previously yes did it arouse you know I'm glad to have no fetish for pirates sure you weren't aroused by 100% when I was in your house where it's Dave so I don't know how Dave's gonna react to it in any way shape or form would you consider yourself a wild card in what's in store unpredictable borderline crazy possibly nobody really knows the real you I don't think so no Simon is a pathological liar he's a psychopath and he denied it he seemed incredulous that it was even being brought up like you said he said he didn't watch porn at all like he didn't even know what porn was have you ever downloaded a point have I ever downloaded read no no no I mean form what do you mean you just really gotta like our website like you go to a website well you just watch it yeah that's that streaming great I don't know I mean I've never down tell me other porn guys have never downloaded porn never 100% I have never downloaded porn he did not he did not give it he did not break everybody pointing it at you Simon yes I know because I'm this I'm danger I'm no it's not because you're the intern it's because you're suspicious because you've done a lot of things that make it seem like it's you it's because you said you had torrent and then you said you didn't have torn whenever I said I had torrent if I did it this when I tell you like I really didn't do it I've never downloaded porn and going back on the tape there are so many things with Simon he knew like exactly how many days to the minute he was dating his girlfriend am I supposed to believe you don't watch porn very often I thought you know what do you mean a guy like me what do you mean I think I mean a guy like I've been dating the same girl for a year and eight months like I don't really does that have to do like I don't watch porn that much yeah I really don't he's saying never watched porn like ever often was for me not very often that's a lie that's a lie you're lying to me that mostly two three times a week like honestly you want me to believe that yeah I do I have no Reid I really have no reason to lie to you I thought it I thought I think this Simon or Hank you say you've never had torn no you asked me this the other day when I went into the other one you just say to me you'll spoke when spoken to and I just denied it and denied it tonight I remember like Hank almost admitted doing it even though Hank had nothing to do with it like what about was his story add up what are you saying right there I mean when you like you said I was talking about like you mentioned to me that you might toward it so I mean it was it was a grueling situation because he put everybody through the wringer when it was like me sitting there like [ __ ] I know I did it I'm gonna be a hundred percent off so let's do that once for the first time in this whole damn interrogation list I have never downloaded pirates born period I have never downloaded pirates born I have never seen the video the only thing I know about it as nades marry [ __ ] kill I really really have not like I want to be working for you in the future and I really don't want to risk it by doing something stupid like this like not at my house not at my parents house not at school not in the office nowhere I've never downloaded another scene this question again do you watch a lot of porn I do not watch a lot of porn get out of here get out of my face get out there was so many going back clear Simon lies but yeah it was it was a week of interrogations I would tell you how can I prove to you that I didn't do it just a minute I didn't do it like I won't admit something that I didn't do I'm intimidated by you like you're an intimidating person I'm the intern like you're you own this company like it's like I'm not gonna lie to you I have no reason to that's precisely why you invited me that's precisely why I wouldn't lie to you it was precisely why he wants to lie to you to be honest yeah you because what other options now you've dug it so deep have you ever heard that expression the truth will set you free yes my mom has said that before my plan going into the interrogation was I had two weeks left at this job like I was going back to school I was like all right like this is gonna blow over quickly like I thought it would be done with after the run down like Dave says some [ __ ] and then the interrogation started so like going into the interrogations I was like [ __ ] I just need to deny this until I like go back to school like this like I don't want this to come out like this is gonna be a giant if it comes out like it's already gone too far so like I can't really go back now at this point I have no reason to continue lying - if I was lying - do I have a guilty conscience not for this matter but in general yeah I do have a guilty conscience I don't lie to people I really don't you can ask my mom like literally since like I was I don't want her love her I'm just saying and listeners listen to song and dance into this no you listen I don't hear the story so then it went on for about a week and a half of me vehemently denying that I ever did it which then turned into more of a scandal than it ever would have been if I had just admitted that I did it at first I don't know who watched the porn all I know is that Simon in the intern is one of the most ridiculous characters I have ever come across in my whole life when he brought response I've been with my girlfriend for one year and eight months I almost fell out of my [ __ ] chair when he said he already [ __ ] watch his porn two to three times a week are you [ __ ] me he watches two to three hours of porn every night no [ __ ] question all kinds of crazy [ __ ] fetish [ __ ] the danger with a kid like Simon is he believes his lies 100% like he does not think he's lying even though he definitely downloaded it and then went home and jerked off like 17 times and then he's like what type of guy do you think I am it's like what do you mean what type of like have you looked at you see you're you're the poster boy for porn Simon like come on wake up my first ever like started getting into it was the pirate Simon saga and everything I was going on with that and I remember some of my buddies at Cal I was this was probably what 2013 maybe it's my buddies at Cal we're like dude you gotta like watch these like few videos and I catch up on like what's going on with like Barstow I don't really know much about at that point that little sag I was like a murder-mystery almost it was like you could kind of follow it as like okay there's crime suspect number one and then some suspects and who's involved who's actually doing it and then you think okay maybe no one had anything to do with it and he didn't hide it for so long that it made it so like believable like okay well he's definitely not a part of it I think he would have broke I think I think he would have broke if he did it unless he's just such unless I unless as big a monster as we think we've brought in here it's not even a tip of the iceberg like he's legitimately a crazy person who like enjoyed it the cat is a savior a true Savior in many reasons but so I was one day away from leaving never coming back like going away for the summer probably never would have admitted it and then big cat had to come in for the draftkings commercial but because we love smut and nobody gives us credit we don't get the advertising dollars we deserve that's why we all have the draftkings app because no matter how little press pass us it's cool we can still make money playing daily fantasy games were contenders now the draftkings app I'll never go out without it that was the only reason he was there the only reason and so he came back to the office after and was just hanging out there and that's when he was just like hanging out peppering Simon with questions if it wasn't for him just being at the office and just being like bored like Simon like Simon and like literally like getting it out of him and then Dave came down and like they they finally got it out of him I would have been that would have all been put on me like it would have just been like Simon would have left and Bucky I was probably Hank and like I just would have been like stuck on me so that was [ __ ] huge Simon is a sociopath you should just admit that's a thing that you should use because it's so much easier and I was like oh [ __ ] like this is over I'm like Dan's like talk to me like Dave's not in the room like I just I've seen this like this is the part I've watched like the admittance part just say how do you explain that you watch porn once so you deleted all your stuff that's what you're saying you did you can trust me that's the thing did you do it did you do it Simon sorry you did it did you [ __ ] did it you know I I'm not saying that no yeah you are you said say you did why did he lie I don't care and it must have been weighing on him like you know if you kill somebody and you just want tell like I did it I did it that was what was happening to Simon you could tell the weight of the world was on him okay I download the pirate porn which is you actually I decided we're all kind of sign like what he's like yeah I did it and we just looked like are you serious like yeah I did it and then I was like I knew it it was like of course you did you're the Pirate King yeah but are you just saying that to get us off you know I I downloaded it was me so then why'd you lie about it because I don't want to talk about my porn watch I didn't even watch it that's the fun thing about like I download it and didn't even dangerous liar he's insane he's crazy and then like I just remember getting berated by Dave for about two minutes of him like telling me I was a psychopath and that like like of course I'm a porn guy and like all this other stuff you you saw it and you got aroused you were aroused I was aroused is not the work so the guy who only watches porn 2 to 3 times a week sorry sticking - he only watches porn two to three times a week but he okay Simon is porn like he is porn he was born to be like a porn guy so so obviously you're reporting on it doesn't matter what like you're the most obvious porn guy of all time like you look in the mirror and you might as well be porn stamped on your forehead and look at you you're a porn guy and I think it felt good for him to get off a chest he embraced it like even show his pictures like at Fenway Park with people like he'd be said people beyond the king the pelón King he's like waving I mean he found his niche he embraced being the king he really did like I think that if I had gone back and done the whole thing differently I would have admitted it was me on the rundown I think like what I should have done and what I like wish I had done was just admitted at first then this probably would have blown up into something but it would've been over quicker and it probably wouldn't have been what it was yeah I don't know he had that inner porn thing going that he just couldn't you know he just couldn't resist downloading stagnates Revenge during working hours I mean it's how you know I tell all the time you have shooting stars the personal people come to the galaxy The Pirate King I mean it was such a saga there's such a saga was such a time to be alive I he's one of those guys I don't think we've heard the last of the King it's a crash course in Barcelona yeah it's like how do you become a boss little guy how do you catch up on it you got to watch the chapter in The Pirate King if you know barceló you know pirate Simon he's born he was he was born from porn so Dave wanted me to wear an eyepatch for an entire year and I was like super against it at the time I was like very angry with the way everything turned out I was like very angry with like how like I've been portrayed on camera and I guess I like took a lot of that out on through emails with Dave like I demanded he apologized and then like I have to realize like Dave doesn't apologize to anyone it's like why would he be apologizing to me and so I didn't want to wear an eyepatch for the whole summer so I I guess I turned down the job in that regard but I I mean I've talked to Dave afterwards and like I don't know I think that we're on fairly good terms at this point everywhere he went iPads pirate hat pirate shirt he had to wear the pirate uniform not only did he deny that he demanded an apology for me for exploiting him he's like you just exploit all your workers I'm not gonna be part of this game maybe I'll think about working there if you apologize he would later come back and try to accept the offer back okay I'll dress as a pirate what have been interesting like I wanted him to have to walk around the streets of New York and we moved here dressed like a hundred percent I'm like admire he would have become like The Naked Cowboy like people who didn't know anything like oh you seem like pirate guy will just dress oh yeah that's the point game it would have been very funny my dad calls me pirate Simon sometimes my mom will like give him a death stare when he does it but yeah it wasn't it wasn't like relationship ending you

Channel: Barstool Sports

Views: 585,680

Keywords: barstool sports, barstool, viva la stool, sports news, sports comedy, pirate simon, dave portnoy, el pres, history of barstool, boston, barstool newspaper, stoolpresidente, barstool sports founding, history of, documentary, barstool documentary series, history of barstool sports, barstool boston, barstool sports classic, barstool big cat, pirate porn, old barstool, barstool milton, Pirate Porn Saga Recap

Id: JdaypVV7xpw

Length: 26min 58sec (1618 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 02 2020