THE MARVELS Movie Review **SPOILER ALERT**

[Music] that's Nick and that's Joseph and today we're here to talk about the Marvels the third film directed by Nia dasta which of course is a sequel to the 2019 Captain Marvel and also the 33rd film in the MCU uh Disney is releasing it November 10th 2023 I know this director's last film Candyman from 2021 which we were both a fan of and I her 2018 debut little woods which also Stars Tessa Thompson uh is worth a look this movie Carol Danvers gets her powers entangled with those of Kamala con and Monica Rambo forcing them to work together to save the universe what's your pull quote a superhero film so anxious to to satisfy everyone everywhere all at once it ends up inciting dread whenever its foolish coven of super women are trying to act like people who like each other the Marvels is as enjoyable as a turn in the Piller mine as someone who is uninitiated with Captain Marvel's world I was wholly confused and unsatisfied with this film yeah I did not care for this one I'm sorry yeah so um I didn't I didn't watch Captain Marvel I didn't even know there was a Miss Marvel series yep mhm but the story is this one takes place 30 years after the last one and in the last one Captain Marvel destroyed um this AI on this planet Halla uhhuh in the Empire of cre which caused like a Civil War which also caused like their resources to be depleted in a way that doesn't make sense to me like they don't have water their atmosphere is affected and they're son is dimming I don't know how AI controlled that but the leader of these people uh whose name is darb Ben darb Ben played by zawa Ashton darb Ben is mad because she thinks Captain Marvel who she's calling the annihilator is responsible for her people's demise mhm so she's mad at Captain Marvel but she's also trying to find these two bands that are called the quantum bands MH and these Bangles these Bangles arm jewelry they look like what Wonder Woman wears yeah if she can find both she has like I guess total power and can create these like portals like jump points they're basically a vent Horizons right but they this the terminology in this film is Jump point so but I'm confused because there are already jump points being made so I'm not quite sure why she needs these Bangals but she does find one so she needs the other one well guess who has the other one this little girl in New Jersey named Kamala City apparently is Miss Marvel I didn't know that was a thing yeah a series from last year but this Kamala girl is obsessed with Captain Marvel so because of something that happened like whenever Captain Marvel Miss Marvel or another character named Monica Monica Rambo played by Tiana Paris who's the cousin of Captain Marvel not the cousin the niece yes she's Captain Marvel's her auntie we need to talk about it yeah I'm assuming like her adopted or play auntie I don't know but whatever whenever they use their powers in a way that's not really well explained cuz it seems random to me they interchange and that's what they're calling the entanglement MH and it happened because Nick Fury Sam Jackson uh tasks Carol with checking out this energy surgeon on this planet that's like MB 814 or something when while Carol's doing that Monica's up in space doing something on some facility and uh kamla's messing around with her energy thing and that causes the entanglement so kamla's named herself Miss Marvel there's Captain Marvel and then Kamala has named Monica Professor Marvel was I'm not sure if that's stuck but I don't know if it's stuck but then she goes oh we're the Marvels so that's where the title comes from but so they're trying to figure out how to coordinate their their efforts literally because every time they use their powers they interchange but they also know they need to prevent Dan what's darban darban cuz darbin needs water air and Sun so she is overtaking other planets taking their resources which she's already successful in doing she takes the air from one and the water from another and it's very Galaxy Quest in that moment with the spe so it really seemed like she didn't need that other bangle but whatever of course you can predict that danan darban darban gets the other bangle she rips it off of uh M Marvel and immediately this movie is shorter than the average Marvel film thank God and I believe it's because the final act just happens like Bam Bam Bam because fine with that the villain gets the other bangle and immediately Captain she Clacks them together and disintegrate and dies and Captain Marvel tells her like you're going to die if you do it and she does she immediately dies but in the process it opens up a a bigger jump point which is to like an alternate universe and immediately Monica's character goes oh yeah that's a portal to an like to another space and time and we can fix it I can fix it very easily you Miss Marvel and you Captain Marvel need to shoot me with your energy cuz it's important to know captain Marvel kind of like can create energy mhm Monica can harness energy and redistribute it and Ms Marvel can turn like light energy into like solid matter so Monica says you two shoot me with your power and then I'll use that power to fix the hole oh but I have to do it from the inside of course she does it so easily there is I feel like in any other Marvel movie dispatching the villain fixing the hole would have taken 25 minutes oh she performed lasic on the universe literally as fast as it took me to get my lasic it was like 2 minutes mhm but then she gets stuck on the other side mhm so then Kamala returns back to Earth where Nick Fury is and she's like wow Monica didn't make it and then Captain Marvel goes to Hala to fulfill a promise she made which was to reignite their son which she does like nothing Monica's like you have the power you could just fix their son you could as easy as it is as easy as it is for me to connect like apple carplay mhm that like that's how easy she just like reignited their son we need to talk about the son Carol daners goes I've never done anything like that before hm in 30 years yeah it's like is that a metaphor for the UN but anyway so then she fixes their son and Little Miss Mar goes and finds Hawkeye whose name is Kate Bishop Bishop played by Haley steinfield saying she wants her to join her team which we've seen in other Marvel films at the end so I guess that's like a common post well that's not the post-credit scene the post-credit scene is that of course Monica's not dead she's woken up in this alternate universe and she's being tended to by Dr Beast who's Kelsey gramar mhm who in the other movie was played by Nicholas Holt yeah so now it's like X-Men men are in this movie yeah we're all getting muddy Monica's mother played by Lana Lynch but she doesn't recognize her daughter cuz it's an alternate universe the end man I think of all the Marvel movies I've seen this was the least satisfying story it I was so confused yeah from what the little I read was that there were a lot of re-shoot I think and I I guess you can see it but boy it's uh there there's a a state of diminishing returns here I I don't know who is seeking this film out I mean there were people clapping in the Press screen screening but there are always people clapping at anything so what did I there isn't anything about this movie I like the thing I like the least was Captain Marvel Brie Larson I hadn't seen the this is my first time seeing Brie Larson as Captain Marvel and I literally wrote down that this character seems so awkward like she just seems like she doesn't know why she's there mhm M even though it's been 30 years and everything she's doing seems like she's not quite sure and then the biggest gag is that this is your niece this young lady who you haven't seen in 30 years and we get a flashback to Monica being a little girl and then when we see them together they look the same age yes I don't know if Captain Marvel's not supposed to age maybe wow but anyway she hasn't seen this person who she claims to love and promise to take care of in 30 years and when she sees her she looks at her like she owes her money like she just seems so uninterested which is even more messed up you haven't seen Captain Marvel but in that film that was the most repressed lesbian romance since the film version of Fried Green Tomatoes I mean she's adopting this little girl to care for technically in spirit I guess at least so these two women seem like they loved each other and then this little girl becomes this woman that is so torn up her entire world is about missing her aunt Captain Marvel at the very beginning she hears her voice and she's like is that Carol oh I can't talk to her right now yeah and then when they finally get together I mean they they couldn't be more cold to one another until the very end mhm like they they never seem to reconcile I think all three of these women none of them seem to actually be friends they seem about as related as those women in that movie with Cameron Diaz The Other Woman where it's three ladies that share the same lover that screwed them all over that's about how connected they are so there's this cat named goose who Captain Marvel tends to and goose is like a magical alien cat mhm I thought that was annoying because this cat yes has like almost looks like it has an octopus in its mouth that can swallow like humans whole but it doesn't digest them and it can swallow the cat is a normaliz cat but can swallow multiple humans and then just regurgitates them and that's an important plot point because the ship Nick Fury is floating around on trying to tend to these jump points gets attacked so they need to evacuate but there aren't enough evacuation pods for all the people so they have the bright idea like oh let's have oh because Goose has kittens conveniently right before the threats which is so stupid because earlier on in the film on Nick Fury's ship there's this random like that their concern might be like biological warfare and then we learn later that oh no it's just that this cat laid these eggs that are hatching and they're these adorable kittens mhm and they decide oh since we're limited on our Escape pods why don't we have all the kittens cuz there are like 20 of them swallow all the people so we can fit the 20 kittens on the Escape pod and then when they land on Earth they spit them up but there's no guarant that some of those cats start spitting those people out while they're still floating around that I thought was so stupid because it is that's just like there's no humor to this movie it's no there's no humor and I think going back to Ragan on Brie Larson she seems completely resistant to the energy that's required to sell something like this I think the comedic relief that they're trying to give us is via kamala's family her mom dad and her brother I didn't quite it's and it's doing kind of the same thing they do in blue Beetle it's like this family that all lives together and I don't know why this adult male brother is living with them or won't leave the house and then their house is destroyed essentially in one scene and everybody's just like fine oh let's talk about that because they live in New Jersey and their house is not fully destroyed but it's like you know holes go through the ceiling and the second floor and but it you know it could be fixed and inhabitable right but in the end after Captain Marvel reignites holla son and now she's back on Earth we see that she's moved into a house in Louisiana which is from the first film and she brings comma family with her uhhuh why does Captain Marvel need anyone to help her move she could carry the boxes put it in a crate and just carry that [ __ ] over there why would you bring these people from New Jersey to Louisiana I guess they needed something to do that just seems so stupid much like how I felt watching this film I needed something else to do okay the scene where the three Marvels are trying to coordinate their ability because they keep interchanging and bouncing back and forth and I believe it's to the Beasty Boys Intergalactic I thought that was corny very we could have used that time to better explain what the hell is happening because it seems like when they use their powers sometimes they switch but then we see there are like three fight scenes where they are using powers and they don't switch so I paying full attention knowing I would have to talk about it 3 hours later could not tell you how that worked even with the Montage where we're they're supposedly mastering how they do that they don't explain it to us then another moment that I guess is supposed to be cute is that they're trying to talk about well danar or darbin darbin sounds like a a drug for like arthritis but they may cause diarrhea they say like oh well she's looking for like an atmosphere and water and Sun well where would she go for water and Captain marel goes oh I know this place called I think um alad mhm and they're like well let's go there also sounds like a drug and everyone's like well let's go there and she's like well she like she's being awkward about it and then when they get there she goes okay well first she pulls out this weird hat that looks like a jellyfish made out of like paper streamers very Party City a very Party City and she's like okay like I don't want to explain but like just follow my lead and we find out that she married the prince of this planet so she Captain Marvel is the princess of aladana and on this planet they speak English thank goodness but they only sing and they can only ostensibly understand in singing they can only understand English if you're singing it so then we get this like little musical number that was so flat oh it's so flat and then it occurs right before danar shows up to attack these people for their like immediately after the song the tone is so weird like this person it's jarring and that her husband in that planet Prince Yan is played by Park sojun of the film parasite who's very handsome yes but has nothing to do that was so ridiculous to me that scene felt as egregiously silly as almost anything in the musical version of Dr D little well speaking of musicals when uh those kittens are um eating humans to trans Port them off the Escape pod that song memory from cats the musicals playing and I do like that song and it was cute cuz who doesn't like kittens but it's just again the tone is so weird because prior and it plays the whole song to the very end yeah but then immediately afterwards we see danar get killed in a more emotional moment well even when she's wounded that's kind of the only emotion that the film musters I think is around this villain who I can understand her plight and understand why she's doing what she's doing right like nobody else I don't know who any of these people are really care then because I didn't know Miss Marvel I was so confused how kamla knows so much and like she's really good at fighting the I felt so unoriented I was so underwhelmed also with what she's had to do here for comedic relief uh but Dar Ben played by zawa Ashton who I don't know if you remember her from velvet buzza and she had a minor role in Neil Jordan's Greta she has you know blue colored contact in she's giving me if and a grill she has a gold grill in she's she's I like how she looked I like how she spoke to uh she reminded me of Joanne the scammer and Jonathan Reese Myers had a kid yeah kind of kind of a little rough around the edges yeah I don't have anything else to say I did not want to like this movie you know we saw uh what's the Hunger Games movie The Ballad of song birds and snakes I went into that fully expecting to not like it and I was surprised I mean I still didn't like it really but I mean it was better than I thought it would be so I went into this film with the attitude of like oh I hope that I'm pleasantly surprised but I think this might be one of the worst Marvel films I've seen I mean I don't like most of them but yeah this is definitely on kind of getting to the bottom of the barrel here the the part I had to laugh at though speaking of how the villain is more relatable even though it doesn't quite make sense like this is the way you had to if you can get resources elsewhere can't she transport your populace to just a better place in general you've been traveling for 30 years all over the universe you couldn't find a Planet to take your people to but then Carol Danvers goes she's tried to destroy every place I call home and if that doesn't sound like a white lady thing with her multiple homes being plundered uh oh we need to talk about uh bre Captain Marvel reigniting the sun because we see all the people of Hala they're just chilling they just look like it could be any Saturday night in Silver Lake like they just came out of the bar and like oh the sun's out here yeah it just looks like a cool night a cool breeze and then she reignites the Sun and I just thought wouldn't that affect her like one one of these people haven't been breathing for until quite recently like easily and had access to water shouldn't they be dried out and cold and kind of starting to look like some kind of creatures after decades without these natural resources I don't expect the science to make sense in movies like this but this really felt like no one considered that anything may not make sense it it just feels like there are so many corners cut in every possible way and I was at least expecting like oh well maybe dasta is this this is going to allow Tiana Paris a chance to shine who was in Candyman I thought she was like I like her screen presence but I feel like of the three Marvels she was the most awkward with like the like the fight Coro and like watching her run and it just didn't feel like that's what her character wanted to be doing so that didn't like it just wasn't a pleasure being around these three characters and watching them do anything it doesn't seem like anybody had any fun making this okay what would you give this film one I would give it one and a half out of five hit the thanks button listen to our podcast bye

Channel: Fish Jelly Film Reviews

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Id: 38VtQCn6m5M

Length: 19min 53sec (1193 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 09 2023