AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM Movie Review **SPOILER ALERT**

[Music] that's Nick and that's Joseph and today we're here to talk about Aquaman in the lost kingdom the 11th film directed by James Juan which Warner Brothers is releasing December 22nd 2023 name a James Juan film I know oh you know several he's responsible for many contemporary franchises in cluding his debut saw uh Insidious uh and uh malignant the first Aquaman film oh uh furious seven he's he's dabbled in other uh franchises as well and uh death sentence with Kevin Bacon which I've never seen and dead silent which you know he has an affinity for creepy dolls this film now this is the IMDB premise as of today uh December 21st Aquaman balances his duties as King and as a member of the Justice League all while planning a wedding Black Manta is on the hunt for Atlantean Tech to help rebuild his armor orm plots to escape his Atlantean prison I don't that doesn't I don't know who wrote that that's not quite accurate but no there's some of those things aren't happening so but you know anyway so Aquaman from the last time we saw him back in 201 whatever so now he's married to Amber herd and they had a baby and he's the king of Atlantis and his brother Patrick Wilson was put away after the cud so he's just living life running things uh when we see that David Stingray no not Stingray what's his name Manta black man Black Manta play by yay Abdul matin II he is still mad because Aquaman's responsible for the death of his father Michael Beach good old Michael Beach yep and he has spent all his time trying to avenge his father's death and how he's going to do that is he needs to find Atlantis so he can also to repair his cuz he thinks if he finds Atlantis he can repair his suit mhm which gives him his powers so he's assembled a team led by this doctor played by Randall Park yep Dr Shin mhm so the opening of the film is Dr Shin is like somewhere out in like the North Pole or something uh looking for his coordinates have taken him to this piece of ice where he thinks Atlantis is and he does find something so Black Manta and the doctor and their helpers fall into like this ice Tavern and they find a black Trident and we find out that black trid Trident belonged to the leader of the like of a lost city mhm so however many kingdoms there are this one is like the one that was never written about well it was taken off the books it was taken off the books because the leader of that kingdom necris was evil like he was trying to destroy surface dwellers with a brief uh snippet of pilo ASPC as king necris So a blood curse was put on him so he's banished for eternity but the black Trident is kind of like he's a Genie in a Bottle it's more like it's also like Lord of the Rings where you put the ring on and you hear more door calling oh I haven't seen those but yeah so I guess like that so when David grabs the black Trident this necris the like I guess the spirit of necris is telling him like if you can get me out of this Blood curse I'll give you all the power you want so now that's what David's doing the film fast forwards like 5 months so we don't really know what David has been up to accept that he's been collecting this power source called oricalcum mhm which we're told was this whatever this byproduct is has a lot of energy but it creates greenhouse gases this atlantan this this archaic atlantan power source mhm but so that's like a side plot but so it's like sewage I guess but we don't find out until after the halfway point that the way to break this Blood curse is they need Royal Blood so it would either be like Nicole Kidman Aquaman or Patrick Wilson Amber herd goes it's just a it's a blood curse and Nicole Kim goes yeah but a blood curse is just DNA yeah she says DNA and then and then that's when they go oh my God it would also apply to our son and then we cut to Black mantta has stolen Aquaman's baby and nearly killed Aquaman's dad but of course Aquaman is able to get his child back they do get blood from Aquaman very easily he just gets punched in the face and then the blood falls on this thing that breaks the blood curse necris this evil demon pops up and when I tell y'all not only is Black Manta but necris dispatched so easily and then all's well that ends well and the final scene is Aquaman gets his Wish by introducing Atlanta to humans because he thinks that we can work together we can solve like global warming and the end mhm Yep this is really a DC comic book superhero film about uh environmental ills we should have given our pull quotes what's yours One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish to see this film again I don't wish because I feel like we have to channel Dr Seuss because this GD movie was written for children I don't even think well mine words I would use to describe Aquaman in the lost kingdom random scattered busy pointless corny loquacious and tedious oh God but all the time the well one the comedy is egregiously terrible but uh we have to drag this uh screenwriter David Leslie Johnson McGoldrick who also wrote orphan Wrath of the Titan and a couple Conjuring movies including that really really bad one The Conjuring the devil made me do it this story is so dumb and like there's so much dialogue so much Exposition it's like I was so bored sitting there oh yes the jokes are not funny some of these lines these characters like actually say I mean I know these actors were like really you want me to say that like oh just so corny I have 36 questions on my iPad okay well first of all I knew we were in trouble when we open we actually opens with uh Jason Mamoa on a glowing ning seahorse named storm well that's question number 34 why is the seahorse name yeah I it's not Pegasus it's a seahorse name that should have been named Stormy Daniels we only have 22 minutes so can here you can probably get through your stuff through my questions why was Aquaman surprised when the child he has with another superhero has powers yes it's it they sit the child in front of a fish tank and it's making controlling the fish the Goldfish also that child in quick succession we say two scenes where it's clearly a different baby cuz the eye color is different or that how that but you have powers that control sea creatures in the water your baby mama has the same powers and then when he finds out his kid can do it he is flabbergasted like Jason Mamoa I again and we both talked about this at length I think we both really like him as a person and a personality and then in some stuff he really works his Aquaman just seems like a adult also he doesn't appear to be in fighting form he just looks like a stoner Beach guy running around like I don't know it just doesn't work it gets tiresome so fast that every line out of his mouth is a joke like nothing serious but it be one thing it was a good joke I didn't feel anything for anyone cuz I will admit in some superhero movies there was always that moment where I get a little tead cuz it's like Yay they you know even though it's manipulative it still made me there was nothing about this movie even when they grab the baby and you think that you know the baby's not going to die in like a PG-13 DC movie but still like I didn't feel well and even for the bad guy when there there are Shades this feels like Echoes of black panther here uh with with some of the things going on in this film but with Black Manta I don't feel anything for he just seems ridiculous like he seems so ridiculous you're ruin to the point that he's annoying like you're going to destroy all of humanity because you're mad that Aquaman let your dad die maybe you need to he needs therapy to really figure out why he has so much anger and why he can't see that his father brought that [ __ ] on himself and the storytelling it's it's just so Adolescent and it feels really derivative because then Aquaman decide Arthur is his name Arthur Curry decides that the only person that could help me is my old brother orm who I had to dispatch in the last film so I have to release him and then orm takes him to this place called the sunken Citadel that Aqua Aquaman has no idea exists when he said that I was so shocked you were the king of Atlantis the Earth is not that big we can fly around it so I don't know how there are all these these parts of the ocean that you are just like you can't believe there's something there so then we then it feels all star warsy and him talking to this jba King Fish voiced by Martin Short who look is looks like Jaba the Hut with that creature from Lilo and Stitch mix yes yes exactly like that let me keep going the Council of Atlantis which is led by indiia Moore who um like I was glad to see her in that role although the dialogue and all that felt a little crunchy but my biggest take away from the Council of Atlantis is they have no Solutions we're told that a plague is hitting several of the kingdoms because of global warming and they just they they don't have any solutions Aquaman's trying to say well what we need to do is work with humans to use their technology with ours to figure out a way to stop this and the council is like no we don't like that it's just like when ObamaCare got shut down it's just so stupid like what is the point I don't even know why we even well they're useless but then of course what's also really it really just boring it's like so the whole trajectory of orm and Aquaman and somebody wanting to conquer the humans on on top is the same as king necris and his brother like that's the same so why didn't we just focus on that story then or okay I thought David Black Manta was annoying the doctor oh poor Randall Park oh I couldn't stand I do like Randall Park he's he's cute but I mean he was so annoying this character like he just like it he's he reminded me a lot of it it's kind of that same vibe that Jamaine clont is giving an avatar way the water is like I'm working for this bad man but I don't really want to be he looks scared all the time and then kind of written like almost like comedic but he's not joking then the captain of the ship that David and the doctor riding around in that character's name is stingray I don't think we ever hear that character's name is this lady oh yeah yeah um we do hear her name he tells her to do something she is shout she she was like mumbl shouting all of her lines I like I felt like I was taking crazy pills Janie Xiao I believe and then when she's finally she's in like Tia satana mode because she's she he tells her to do something and she starts waving her arms and shouting and everybody's already doing what they're supposed to be doing literally yeah everyone is already doing what they need to do and she's just shouting okay when David and his people finally find Atlantis and they have developed this technology like a a Sonic Cannon which I guess is really powerful against the sea people cuz it messes up their whatever internal clock I don't know all of the AR like the Atlantis Army shows up to stop them like intruder if you enter this space you will like it will result in death guess who's working border patrol Nicole Kidman and Amber herd did that make any sense to you no the queen of Atlantis and her goddamn mother-in-law are working border patrol who's watching this baby who's watching the baby who's breastfeeding the baby also at this point like why is the queen of Atlantis working security I don't know well they had to give Nicole something to do am I crazy didn't that look crazy when they were like working security did she has nothing to do order Patrol that makes at least we got that bizarre shot of her wearing a fake shark fin in the first film cuz seeing that was something I never thought I'd see in my life the minute I saw Nicole kiban I thought is there Botox in Atlantis and then I thought maybe like jellyfish have that neurotoxin that she can use she looks crazy to me she does uh there's also uh a sidekick a blue glowing octopus named toppo which kept making me think of Topo XO if you remember that Mouse no but now I'm thinking of Topo Chico you know they make hard Selzer now it's not very good and you know people who are into Topo Chico water or like they act like that's Ambrosia I don't understand I don't know but I drink half water well Topo is an octopus that just dumbass Jason Mamo keeps calling it squid cuz that's funny when you compare it to like the little cat in Lightyear Buzz the Buzz Lightyear movie socks but I mean just like to have a little sidekick and like that cat is so damn funny and cute and then this octopus like you can tell they're trying to make it cute it does not work this writing is terrible somebody has the gall to say sometimes not giving up is the most important thing you can do which sounds like some executive said that at a board at at Warner Brothers about keeping DC alive cuz oh I couldn't even write down all the lines that were stupid David at one point when because he attacks Amber herd he goes I'm going to kill me a dead mermaid okay yeah then P when Patrick Wilson gets uh rescued from wherever he's being held first of all he looks like uh there is even a joke made that he looks like um what's his name Tom Hanks and Castaway which is funny because the cinematographer is Don Burgess who who lends that movie oh really yeah and is so he looks emaciated with long hair and as soon as his cuz he's being held in like a desert area and he's only being given enough water to keep him alive the instant he hits the ocean he reconstitutes like pre-workout doesn't that I just thought that was crazy it's stupid but as so then now that he like as they're going to get him the narration we get says that he's in a secret oneof a kind holding cell like why would you say that that's run by these this dead Egyptians that that worship were some Cult of death and they surv they look cool but that was so stupid this movie feels like an eighth grader wrote it and or like when you had to do a book report for a book you didn't read and you wrote it like the morning of and you just pull out like this really felt like they just thought like oh put in like catchy phrases that are popular right now or they they're somebody took a creative writing course and they're just learning what subtext is supposed to be so because it's never explained how to get rid of the blood curse mhm I think it was so weird that we don't learn about that until like after the halfway point so we don't really know what David's motivation is like what is he doing we get a we we get a dump of exposition after Patrick Wilson grabs the black Trident at one point and all of a sudden he knows everything about necris like he he wrote the Wikipedia page I was sitting in the theater like this while he was talking I felt bad I actually felt bad for him because it's like he had to sit there and try to give some emotion to this really clunky awkward Exposition that's just being [ __ ] out for us to so we can understand where the third Act of the film is going also Patrick's character was never like he's not like Ariel he didn't want to be with the people are so when he first goes up to land fascist he when he's running he runs funny cuz he doesn't know what to do with his arms and then there's another moment where we see him running again and his brother has to tell him like use your arms that kind of Comedy just feels so out of place with what's happening right now just like the soundtrack which apparently Aquaman's theme is Born to Be Wild I don't remember if that's in the first one a reconstituted Born to Be Wild and then they have Norman Green bomb spear in the sky like Spirit in the Sky for the sea people what why but we need to talk about that Running Scene because that's sat on an island as we're told somewhere in the South Pacific oh yes well a few things don't get so there they're somewhere in the South Pacific and we see that because of the or Calum and the greenhouse gases and mutating I guess like biology h spood of the god [ __ ] going on here there's some like huge cockroach cockroaches and mice and we never get back to that no we we also never get back to the or Calcom we're told that this whatever resource is so powerful that it could destroy all of Earth and that's why it had to be locked up and put away and then we see that Black Manta has removed all of it so he could create global warming and then we even see Dolph Len's character like launching missiles towards where it's being held yeah I forgot about Dolph and then we don't even address like what what did we do with all this stuff that you people locked up centuries ago there's so many holes to all this [ __ ] that was brought up it is so Dolph lungren I thought sounded crazy I thought he looked crazy the yeah all of his line readings are like O then they I don't know why they kept doing this but we kept getting like subtitles of where we are like the locations who cares well I that that made me mad um the the uniforms for the bad guys David people were so unflattering they were like these zipup onesies with like a drop crotch and then they had these weird like appliques on the hips the production design even in the first one Amber herd's hair she looks like a a Road Show clown she looks like someone's doing aeriel for Halloween I don't know that it it looked bad in the first one it doesn't look good now Nicole Kidman's hair Patrick Wilson should not be that shade of blonde well the wig is wigging the blonde's crazy uh Black Manta when he finally gets his full costume it's like this black bug outfit when he first walks cuz he comes out of like the Shadows I giggled because I thought he looked like a robotic Catwoman his I hate you need to look up Christopher Guest mascots because there is there's a character in mascots that looks like that with a big head he looked like he was about to walk a category at a ball it looked very fem to me I don't know with the hips and the it was too much Metropolis realness uh yeah it just another stupid scene is be that so that Sonic cannon that gets used a few times Aquaman and his people were like what are we going to do about the cannon and someone has the bright it's Aquaman who says well it's just like Sonic whatever well why don't we disrupt that with our own Sonic thing and so Aquaman calls like all the whales in the ocean yep they do show up to come to the the sonic Cannon and and they do their little whatever that felt so like I don't know another word I can use to describe this movie is whatever well it's just everything's so frivolous and off the cup and it's like does speaking of frivolous the the the villains are dispatched so easily and then David Black Manta he's like about to fall into a pit to hell I guess and Aquaman goes to save him and he goes never like and he just commits seacu I guess and I was like Girl by no one cares seacu what's that that's disemboweling isn't that when you kill yourself that is a version of it that's what I mean like you kill yourself he's suicided but who cares like who who wanted David to survive Black Manta well his probably the actor and his agent but sure he didn't okay we have a little bit of time the when Atlantis is revealed we get like every news station in the world is reporting on it that there's going to be representative and all I kept thinking was did Atlantis send out a press release how did all the news stations know do they have cell phones internet computerss cuz at one point the doctor sends his coordinates to Aquaman mhm Aquaman doesn't have a computer in the ocean I don't understand I I just don't understand the technology which is distracting because they mentioned technology twice that they want to use their technology to help humans and black mant mentions it when he says I need their technology to fix my suit it just feels so disjointing well there's Atlantean technology that saves his father who's on some kind of respirator some kind of underwater type respirator then now that Patrick Wilson and Aquaman have made amends the two brothers you know they had to like break Patrick Wilson out of jail and no one can know so Aquaman goes well we're just going to pretend you died so why don't you just lay low for a little bit but I'll need you cuz I'll need your advice on how to run the kingdom that was stupid oh the dialogue is so that was so dumb then there's a post-credit scene we see when Patrick Wilson and Aquaman get to that mutated island in the South Pacific Aquaman convinces Patrick Wilson to eat a cockroach he tells them it's like land shrimp and Patrick Wilson likes eating the Cockroach so the post credit scene is that Patrick Wilson is now laying low so he's in some coastal town at a restaurant eating a cheeseburger and a cockroach walks by he puts the cockroach in his cheeseburger eats it and he likes it the end I mean really what this film is trying to say is that amphibians are the best thing that can rule Both Worlds I don't understand why the story is so busy I don't I hate when there are two villains because one's always more cool than the other I thought necris was way more cool than Black Manta who seems like he just needs a hug and some therapy so I don't know why we just didn't focus on that like you mentioned the story between necris and his brother and him being banished is very similar to Aquaman and Patrick Wilson so maybe we could have done something with that I I I don't know this is just I don't know why we needed Amber hurting this baby like what else would you like to say um hide your Trident hide your exes it's a little bit of necris what would you give this movie uh one this is terrible I'm so tired of these I'm so tired the more I talk about it the lower the score gets in my head I think I would give this one out of five it was tedious if I started this on an airplane I'd probably turn it off after 15 20 minutes anything else no hit the thanks button listen to our podcast bye oh

Channel: Fish Jelly Film Reviews

Views: 19,958

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Id: dye5MjgJXf0

Length: 24min 33sec (1473 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 22 2023