The Lucy Show: Lucy Meets The Law

starring Lucille Ball I'm sorry Neil Gordon oh boy the biggest sale I ever went to shoving and pushing in my whole life chef's shop shop push push push and some of the women still wouldn't let me through funny whoever said women wear the weaker sex never went shopping with us that's for sure yeah I wish that bus would come I'm so tired you know they had some marvelous bargains there today they sure did that's why I wanted to go to that store you know I have to be very careful of every penny that I spend well how come then you bought three steam irons well when they're marked down like that you have to take advantage of it that's right they were a steal Lucy what are you gonna do with three steam iron well you never know what two of them are gonna break down how ridiculous to fire well you know you should talk last week you bought a hundred pound sack of dog food oh well that was half right you don't even have a dog I get one someday Oh Oh what a bike oh no honey I'm on a diet you are I've been on a diet for a couple of weeks I didn't know that you haven't say snap Lucy you did it again I did what again you threw paper on the sidewalk oh that listen you do that all the time the other day you threw peanut shells all over the street you know you could get arrested for that I could get arrested yes the Porsche was very serious that's against the Keep America Beautiful campaign you might have committed a federal offense of federal offense I just hope nobody saw you Oh for heaven's sake I better get it come on let's see what policeman policeman do you think they saw what I did I don't know Mary Jane promise me something what if anything happens save yourself pretend you don't know me promise me I promise oh excuse me lady uh does that Bank belong to you I beg your pardon sir are you addressing me yes madam I was addressing you does that bag belong to you well yes as a matter of fact it does Oh okay sister it's all over let's go I beg your pardon don't where you can cut that innocent Act you have any identification well I have a little birthmark but I'm certainly not going to show it I just don't go around showing it to strangers let me see your driver's license I don't have a driver's license I don't even have a car what's your name Lucille Carmichael Lucille Carmichael ha phony name ever heard what it is not a phony name Lucille Carmichael's my real name isn't it telling what my name is lady I never saw you before are you coming along quietly or do we have to get tough well if you feel that way about it imagine making a federal offense over a little thing like this I'll take care of that oh thank you Holy Smoke sister what have you got in here well three steam irons and my my you have had a busy day like you do things in a big way don't you well not really but they were such a steal come on Lady let's go a lieutenant we're sure that this Carmichael Dame is the redheaded shoplifter that's been pulling all these big jobs we caught her with a stuff right on earth those pearls were in her shopping bags okay bring her and bring her in Miller hi hi your name is karma Lucille Carmichael yes Lucille is spelled with two L's three if you count the first one officers Peters Miller my name is lieutenant Finch well I'm very happy to meet you all you have no idea how happy we are to meet you oh thank you won't you sit down oh thank you now just to get off on the right foot it is my duty to inform you that anything you say will be held against you oh yes sir anat you have a right to legal counsel if you so desire oh no I don't think that's necessary it isn't that biggest thing Oh well I suppose we all just settle back and you tell us what you did today Oh what now that's not going to be very entertaining we'll find it fascinating Oh shall I start why don't we start with the beginning this morning this morning well let's see now I got up early about quarter of eight I think maybe was 10 oh yeah about 1008 I think and I read the paper I always read the paper every morning and I saw this ad for this marvelous sailor I just love sail so I call Mary Jane man who's Mary Jane Hey she's my cat do you often phone your cat oh yes always always when she's away from home I always call her and I say what's new pussycat well let's let's forget the feline phone calls tell us about this sailor you went oh well yeah I love sales and well I'm the sort of person who just cannot resist picking up a few things Kalinka new man so just like that you decided to go shopping oh yes I do it all the time especially when I don't feel like going to the bank that bad job gets so monotonous we'll talk about the bank job later oh right now we'd like to hear about your shop alright but why lady when you've been shopping word gets around oh I didn't know that and you better believe it sister so you went shopping and you picked up a few things well more than a few more than a few there were let's see now three steam irons a little bottle of cologne a pair of curtains two pair of curtains and oh I found a new eyelash curler and a floor lamp floor lamp where was that it wasn't in the bag well of course not you just can't walk out carrying a four-layer it's being delivered by the store certainly by what nerve you shot pretty good thank you it isn't easy with a crowd around like that you have to be fast takes care of the preliminaries now to the main event I thank you pardon the reason you're here oh that oh well as a matter of fact I'd like a chance to explain that would you really yes you see uh I'm I'm really not that kind of person I I just wasn't thinking you mean you had a mental aberration Hey I could have had that yes not Carmichael s level you've been doing stuff like this all over town haven't you well I don't know about that I I don't remember I don't remember you're just not talking are you well remember things like that do you remember every time you drop a gum wrapper on the sidewalk I don't chew gum feel but let me refresh your memory about six weeks ago you were on Western Avenue worship Western Avenue that's right first shop there was a sable cape and the Wendell remember a sable cape well uh Western Avenue West Oh sometimes I go down Melrose and I Oh Western oh now I remember oh yeah peanuts that's what it was peanuts I finished it off and just didn't even think about it I admitted but it was just a little bag a little bag lady in our book that's a big bag that cause somebody four thousand dollars well I don't understand that oh not much you don't I got to admit Carmichael you are really something she's a cool as cookie I ever saw the time yeah she's a real criminal type no conscience no nerves you better get yourself a good lawyer you're gonna need one well gee whiz the way you talk you think I committed a robbery or some robbery you heaven forbid well I don't see why I can't just pay a little fine and go home a little fine you'll be lucky if you get off in less than 10 years ten years it was only a chocolate-covered coconut caramel cream wrapper I think maybe we ought to call in a psychiatrist soda where he's nuts explain if you'll just sign it to the judge get out of here I never heard such a thing in my life Kevin here hey target what do you want to Tinkerbell you got company why do you always stuff all the garbage in on me what do you want well uh please may maybe I can have a private room a private room Deary well next time why don't you call in advance for reservation we'll give you a nice room with a view but I don't think I'm very welcome here ah here is welcoming the flowers in man she sounds so tough she is tough and you better be tough too or she'll crush you like a marshmallow now get what is in for kid don't call me kid okay what's your handle steel knuckles Carmichael my friends call me knock knock what's your info just getting rid of some paper Oh passing counterfeit moolah huh what ah hey you're the big leagues kid I said don't call me kid oh I'm sorry muck is that muck it's not don't get so excited all right boy what a crummy joint this is no pad ain't bad I've got a lot worse yeah what's your handle hard head open hard head how'd you ever get a name like that I'm not bouncer in a beer hall but it was my head I get a man back here to go like all like yeah I can see why if I'm natural talent had it since I was a kid it was just born lucky huh eyes got his drawbacks I got a tough spot keeping my hair Earl but then everybody's got problems yeah well that's one way of looking at it what are you in for assault and battery oh yeah it was all a misunderstanding sure sure it was I was friends sure it was I'm gonna have a little trouble with my eyes Wesley oh I bet a guy the other night and instead of going out the door I put it right through the wall it was messy but up perfectly look mistake sure sure it was you know something hearted why uh I'd like a nice hot cup of coffee I'll just ring for room service what's all the racket in here Tinkerbell my roommate would like a nice hunk of a cop but of Cour and would madam like sugar and cream in her coffee well a little cream and no sugar I'll take sacrum because I've been on a diet and I wouldn't want to blow oh he's a nerve of her I'll tell you one thing if she does bring me my coffee I ain't gonna give her no tip now you're all right that clock not I'm glad you like my style I think you and me are gonna go great together yeah ah I don't let you in on something what stay here I figured out a way to beat this rap they don't call me hard head for nothing I got it all mapped out I am busting out of here they're not burned you mean now you're gonna try to escape call me kid all right sorry knock no it's not darkest Club No okay now here's the way we're gonna do what you mean we you and me what do you think I've been talking about we're partners now here's the plane as soon as tinkle Abela comes in here I'm gonna butter in the breadbasket and thoughts are right off that wall and then you and me Oh burn it how do you like that um all right head if you don't mind I'd uh I'd like to think about a little bit young what's the fake why we're partners remember yeah but honey yeah don't argue with hard head lieutenant Finch I can't tell you I mean I just can't tell you what it means to have these pearls returned to my jewelry store you've done a magnificent job well save the compliments can you recall what happened well I was showing these pearls to a client and I left them on the counter when this redheaded creature walked in I thought she was just browsing but when I turned my back for just a moment she swooped up the pearls and must go I mean that sounds like her all right the slickest shoplifter in town we've been after her for months how would you know if you saw her again oh I most certainly would the incident is indelibly impressed on my mind I shall remember that face for years that red-haired matron bringing the girls for the lineup okay come on girls step lively come on pick them up get over here mr. bro all right mr. trundle all we need is a positive identification just prick her out well I'm not sure never in a thousand years huh well I didn't anticipate so many ringing what did you figure on a bunch of Yul Brynner's all right Lister trendle which one will do Tennant it's very difficult these girls are all so innocent looking innocent most of these babes would make ma Barker look like a campfire girl well I can't help that woman I saw was much tougher looking all right girls look tough for mr. trendle real tough yes predict in a thousand years that's the one that turns their forward Queenie rescue your debutantes back to your penthouse all right come on let's go come on you're nominated Queenie but what am i nominated for miss like fingers of the year oh are you the head of the Keep America Beautiful campaign because I can explain every you're gonna explain it my office dinner in there now just a minute just a minute I know my rights my constitutional right side I haven't got it to make one phone call oh you're gonna call your lawyer Isaac no my manicures I'm gonna cancel my appointment well we got a strong case against you now you were positively identified picked out of a lineup by a reliable witness you could make it a lot easier on yourself by signing a confession a confession for a little thing like that it's the silliest thing I ever heard of oh yeah uh there's some people out here to see the prisoner who are they I don't know I don't know morning mrs. Carmichael Lucy are you alright what's the deal I never saw you before in my life Mary Jane Mary Jane well this is the pussycat you made the phone call to all right Mui what's your connection with her mrs. Carmichael happens to work for me hey lieutenant this looks like a regular gang he must be the big boss boss gang what's he talkin about what would you please explain what's going on here yes sir well it all started with a chocolate-covered coconut caramel cream wrapper there she goes again she's being booked for grand larceny grand larceny and larceny grand larceny a tribal Scirocco you know Lucy never stole anything in her life well that's true she is not dishonest oh she's incompetent scatterbrain boggling inefficient disorganized incoherent and stupid but she nah there's honest by sticking up for me luckily there's no question about it we caught her with her goods what good well to begin with she was walking around with three steam irons in her bag now does that sound normal to you for her yeah because I'd never be able to explain it for the listen I can explain that just stand there pussycat infer quietly feel anything yet I get anyone to believe that no but you'll have a long time to try she'll be out of circulation for ten years yeah well now mrs. Carmichael don't you worry about a thing we will get you the best lawyers in town in your case we will have no difficulty proving insanity oh no there there don't cry alright for you to say that to cry cuz you don't have anything to cry about but suppose it was your wife that was being fed away for ten years this is no time for wishful thing now sir I want you to know that I'm an important man in the city but where you want hold everything you got the wrong day what do you mean I got the wrong Dame this is the redhead who stole the pearls she just signed a confession okay Miller Booker well miss Carmichael it seems that there's been a slight misunderstanding well there certainly has been can I go now yes yes thank you hi what happened well when I button Tinker Bell in the breadbasket she bounced me off the wall well you can't win them all honey like anyway you got your private room back I just got sprung oh you're gonna miss your club

Channel: Inter-Pathé

Views: 278,218

Rating: 4.7700348 out of 5

Keywords: United States of America, Lucille Ball (Author), free movies, InterPathe, InterPathé, The Lucy Show (TV Program), Inter-Pathé, Interpathe, legal movies

Id: r2sZHFE0UeQ

Length: 25min 26sec (1526 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 05 2013