The Lost Submarine | TMG - Episode 297

foreign is this a cold open us on our phones it could be yeah did you see this [ __ ] one second okay hold on okay does anyone else can get the Wi-Fi is it working oh never mind I'm good yeah okay hmm hold on I'm on the phone yeah it's gonna listen this video real quick yeah yeah sure yeah just one burrito with bacon please great thanks yep I'll be there in 20. thanks Ryan can you go pick up my burrito in 20. what do you got going on just some dude moaning oh it's so funny in the middle of a just hold on I gotta watch this just oh one second hold on it's not done hold on I gotta see if he busts [Music] this is today's free episode if you want this episode you can find that right now on our website holy [ __ ] over there [Music] let's live the flying Thumpers May soon be throttled stock you're not a stoner goodbye beyond the Air Force has announced that a flying disc has been found and is now in the possession of the army dick in your mouth [Music] please look at all the signs crashing your seatbelt and get ready for the base what are you listening to I was like one of those like videos where a guy like hacks a zoom and jerks off I don't know so some of those videos of a dude moaning yeah what do you mean one of those you just one of the you know let's see them all the time wow what do you mean all the time you just go to Pornhub there's just like so many so many dudes just dudes moaning I happen on them all the time you don't get them on your thing no you must have different algorithms I feel that's how I sound to Elena when I just know about random porn things yeah I know she's like how do you I'm like it's Twitter yeah sure she's like yeah Twitter okay yeah yeah what do you mean this is like common knowledge yeah no it's not well amongst dudes it is you know the lamest thing I ever said recently I was talking about porn and how it made its way into the Zeitgeist that's when I knew I should kill myself what does that even mean trying to sound like a porn historian like like when they big when they became like mainstream celebrities so it was about the like oh no step bro like being in the washing machine okay and even that a brand even that your wife would be like what yes yeah no exactly what do you mean yeah she had no idea no but it's and then they like you're like you're sick and you're like no it's I swear to God it's part of the Zeitgeist it is part of the Zeitgeist it's part of the zeitgeist [Laughter] pop culture now babe all right what are you doing step bro with the laundry machine is part of the Zeitgeist she's like what is that explain it to me though I don't get it okay well so she falls into the and she's stuck in there how do you get stuck in a washer that's kind of the that's the bid that's the bit that's the bit so then her step bro is going to get stuck in her you understand it's the Zeitgeist come on come on [ __ ] your stepsister it's a Zeitgeist thing all right you know remember when covet happened and I wanted to kind of bang my cousin we were trapped in that cabin it was supposed to be a short vacation and it was me and my second cousin and you know before we started dating I told you about this it became a Zeitgeist thing you know wanting to [ __ ] your family members you're sick you're demanding no it's a porn it's a it's a thing it's this pop culture it's just pop culture you didn't want to [ __ ] your cousin during coven come on I feel I've yeah covert was a weird time with that what they really ended up with the incest yeah had everyone going crazy yeah that was that was mean yeah porn stars just they're just porn directors what if we capitalize on everyone wanting to just release right now I mean that's they that's what they do though it is what they do that's everything but I felt they were just kind of twisting the knife a little bit just to like Annie it up during covet I mean you wait till you see all this submarine porn that's true yeah oh we're gonna get to that we're gonna get to that we're gonna get to that I just did one can I see the Titanic yet step sis no it's more like you want to go see the Titanic bro yeah you just have to what are we gonna [ __ ] ride in there to get down there oh just my submarine Just My Submarine yeah and it's just a perfect like it's like uh the mold on the bottom of the thing is to lie on your back yeah and then uh that has stirrups on the upper it's like what's that for it's like we gotta line your back and put your heels up there how are you gonna pilot just with this mad catch yeah exactly can we talk about that because I don't really know what happened but you were saying that you've been laughing at it well hold on let's let's be clear let's be clear sorry sorry no it's okay no problem that's what I expose you but that's that is what happened okay okay all right because and I was surprised because I saw the I saw the new thing and I was like oh that seems really sad [Laughter] but then then one of my friends was like I can't believe these people paid 250 Grand to die at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean yeah to starve to death yeah in a submarine yeah I'm like that is it's [ __ ] horrible obviously yeah but it's kind of it's like it's really funny it's sort of so it's really if they're dead they probably didn't start at that to be fair yeah they said that there's a leak because of the pressure we actually when it would explode like they would explode everything yeah oh that's not funny just them like I'm thinking like differences in pressure like there's a small leak you know that hit one of their heads one of their heads is less buoyant than the other there's a look is that a yeah oh my God oh no oh no let's yeah listen that listen that I think like as a general rule like never get in a submarine never get in a helicopter yeah no helicopters no submarines yeah that should be like a general rule yeah yeah don't worry we'll get to the bottom of this I've been sitting on that one so what's the deal with this okay so the company is called Ocean Gate okay and it's ran by this genius who built this submarine and it's piloted with a Logitech Gamepad controller okay now first of all this thing looks like you're freshly circumcised painting yep [Laughter] and I have memory of this because I got it done at 13. yeah yeah this is exactly how my don't imagine it because you're a pedophile but this is exactly how my teenage penis looked after getting a circumcision right stop thinking about it right stop thinking about my teenage penis just having had a circumcision very big urethra yeah yeah not that I'm thinking about it I'm just saying yeah it was really weird when they started sounding me in the middle of the operation I don't know why they did that all right we got to put this wooden stick yeah that's part of the procedure oh all right hey we're gonna go like this turning butter down there when you sound it goes into your balls yeah and it just sorry and mixes [ __ ] up yeah yeah we're just mixing things up um I'm just laughing thinking about someone with a green bean in their mouth scrambling to turn this off um so this guy started this company he engineered this he engineered this um the intention is he charges people to take them down to see the Titanic yes no it sounds actually pretty cool it does and there's a fun little diagram uh for this vessel and it's called the this vessel is called the Titan submersible now a key aspect of it is the capacity is five people for 96 hours but I think they got that second part wrong why I think it's probably like five people for 15 minutes yeah yeah yeah that's not cool um so yeah uh they so this guy he created this submarine he charges 250 000 a seat to go 250k per seat now if we just um reference this is a cute little infographic did they did they publish this right there's a cute little infographic that makes this seem like oh of course could we play The Tick Tock I sent with the ABC or CBS for yeah okay let's full screen this [ __ ] if that's possible it was from five months ago okay that's fine oh what the hell I wanted to watch it in full screen vertical yeah it's like it's like an inch from being full screen yeah an experimental submersible vessel that has not been approved or certified by any regulatory body and could result key keyword there not approved by any regulatory body but wait wait but but I mean with the ocean isn't that like normal sure but you're saying like safety wise if you were to get on it you'd be like I want this to be like certified by somebody yes okay yeah uh here we go there we go service an experimental submersible vessel that has not been approved or certified this is the uh waiver that he's reading out loud okay by any regulatory body and could result in physical injury disability emotional trauma or death where do I sign oh that's a customer no no this is just a reporter oh he's just being cheeky yeah yeah he went on he did it oh actually yeah no he did do it like six months ago or something and survived well they only I think they only made it down a certain amount before that they had something wrong and they had to go oh my god really yeah oh my God hey guys want to take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's episode stamps something that changed the game for us here recently at teamview Studios is getting office supplies and food delivered right here to our ship it saves us time and uh makes it so much easier to focus on other things with so much of our world digitized or automated why stick to Old School mailing and shipping if you mail or ship often let stamps.com do the hard part for you simply print Postage and shipping labels right from your home or office that's or office or if they're maybe they're both maybe your home your office is in your home B either way it's ready to go in minutes no long lines or complicated setup required postage rates just increased again luckily stamps.com has the best discounts in the industry they have amazing Partnerships with USPS and ups for unbeatable rates up to 84 off wow with stamps.com all you need is a computer and a printer get access to the USPS and UPS Services you need right from your computer anytime day or night no lines no traffic no waiting they even send you a free scale so you'll have everything you need to get started if you need a package pickup you can easily schedule it through your stamps.com dashboard and if you sell products online stamps.com seamlessly connects with every major Marketplace and shopping cart avoid the hassle and get started with stamps.com today sign up with promo code TMG for a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale no long-term commitments or contracts just go to stamps.com Click the microphone at the top of the page and enter the code TMG before we get deeper into this my theory is that they went down and something was a little uh but the guy having this billionaire in the you know he wanted to impress him it's fine yeah and they just he just went a little too far goodbye so but have people seen the wreckage the Titanic wreckage on this thing no so let's get into that but I just want you to hear okay your shoes off that's customary okay wow inside imagine just being stuck like that I I think the I think the closest we've gotten to this you know like when you're crawling around in those Sky tubes at Chuck E cheese yeah and you look out the porthole and you just see your mom eating a pizza ignoring you and you're like how do I get out like that's the closest we've been and you're screaming at her but like from the outside it's just yeah she's just not even looking she's just down there eating a pizza eating a pizza eating that [ __ ] recycled yeah Pizza is she just here's the machines just making noise and well welcome [ __ ] starts coming out got kids climbing over you dragging their balls across your head [Laughter] move a girl two grades over you just crawls over you farts on your face [Laughter] she's like I'm bigger than you you don't want to follow her because her butt stinks cut to your mom like this pizza kind of sucks yeah I kind of how much okay laughs yeah you know what Chris Nolan needs to do a movie about Chuck E cheese because he's he's all big on multiple timelines and [ __ ] it the one hour for your mom sitting at that table is 10 hours for you that's that's uh whose joke was that was it napargazi who's talking about Chuck E cheese yeah yeah yeah yeah and he's like all these all these parents getting [ __ ] up like they're all drinking at noon and they're like he's like can no Uber's pulled up they're driving those kids home yeah and he said like Chuck E cheese has done all the things you shouldn't do as a business and they just maintain something to go bankrupt yeah they're actively trying and they can't yeah anyways back to this death machine the sub has about as much room as a minivan so this is not your grandfather's submersible we only have one button duh listen to this only have one button that's it it should be like an elevator you know it shouldn't take a lot of skill the Titan is the only five months you think that bun does just nothing yeah we have one button what does that do I just uh well it's just like a cool design thing I don't know our partner came out with that he thinks it looks cool that's the submarine button yeah what is what is that there's a button in a submarine genius idea yeah makes customer feel very comfortable you press that when you see the Titanic yeah it turns green we got it now we're gonna let you in a little secret here this one doesn't really do anything why why is that well you know imagine you pull out this Mad Catz controller it's gonna make you a little uncomfortable so we want to add a little bit of legitimacy so before we do that we just kind of go up here and we go everyone ready yeah yeah makes you feel better engage submarine mode there we go we're in we did it we're going down this isn't your grandfather's submersal I heard that too my grandfather's submersible was a wet rag over his mouth Guantanamo and I'm very familiar with my uncle's submersible yeah my uncle's submersible is huge I couldn't quite submerge at all but that thing was massive me and my uncle like to play this game called Titanic Oh no oh where do I suppose sub in the world that can reach Titanic depths 2.4 miles below the sea 2.4 miles see this is what's not fair about this so far yeah what's not fair about this is I think every every stop in this is just absurdity yeah like it's just numbers and sentences that are just funny yeah they're like I'm sorry they did what they went three miles below the ocean like is it not Pitch Black yeah how would you even see the wreckage at all dude it's like what in what that's what the button's for yeah that's the one light it's just a headlight yeah it goes two inches yeah they're like oh [ __ ] huh we should have got a bigger light yeah well okay just listen did you hear no well how they communicate with with it no the only way they can communicate with the people inside is if they are directly above it and they can send a text message to and from other than that if you get out of range they cannot communicate with the submarine there's no communication SMS just doesn't feel like a smart yeah what no voice thing no no because nothing works underwater but I mean like there are submarines like the military yeah brains that work they don't have that technology I mean this is not your grandfather's submersible yeah your grandfather's submersible is actually commissioned by the military it's much more expensive yeah this is um this is uh this is your son's submersible all right listen to this next line it's also the only one with a toilet sort of can you imagine taking a [ __ ] oh my God just in the middle of the six people we're just lying on top you wouldn't mind would you only just [ __ ] drop Trow just [ __ ] oh I should not have had I had two McGriddles for breakfast why did I drink coffee before this yeah blowing it anxieties just [ __ ] I wish that's what happened someone's down there they farted too hard yeah the gas changed the oxygen pressure yeah and they all just in their heads yeah [Laughter] well here and yet I couldn't help noticing how many pieces of this sub seemed improvised we can use these off-the-shelf components I got these from uh camper world Camera World Camper World camper world yeah we run the whole thing with this game controller now oh my God now you know if you know like I know he got some Gen X people with this because if you're a millennial you know for a [ __ ] fact when you're handed the Mad Catz control yeah yep that thing is bunk yep 100 bad yeah you're so right you never wanted that one any Millennial would have looked right at that and gone no I think so man so true oh you're gonna give me the one with the Dead uh x button all right man okay that [ __ ] was always garbage and so the fact that it's a Logitech he he he's like we control this whole thing I'd have been gone yeah yeah well like why didn't you just use an Xbox one yeah or a PlayStation controller that's what's scary about it what you know I guess because it has to be plugged into a PC but a modern Xbox controller can be plugged there you go see that would have been way better Bluetooth too yeah yeah yeah oh [ __ ] I didn't I did not expect this turns out bluetooth doesn't work you have a USBC yeah yikes you didn't bring it oh I didn't bring it either that's probably what happened [Laughter] dude like oh no it's cool we'll charge it up and then there's like looking for the ports like oh we had to close everything off [ __ ] oh [ __ ] I forgot to get the port from camper world how dude how horrifying would that be like they're going to the bottom and this dude's like everything okay there yeah yeah and this is just blinking red at the top like oh God [ __ ] I forgot to charge it and they're just like it's okay though we just press the submarine button faster oh [Music] blackberry and send a text to the crew that dude so like in retrospect this all obviously looks very sketchy yeah and but yet people like like multiple people paid 250k yeah so to their credit this guy has been successful before how many times so there is one guy I just read uh very successful he's done it 35 times he's gone down and back on this machine on this machine it looks like uh let me see if I can find that article again one guy that's and he's missing he's he's among the five that are missing he's like why has he done it so many times that's a lot of money million dollars I think he likes doing it I don't know 35 divided by four I feel like you're not attempting fate at that point I'm bro right if you've done that 35 times that's eight million dude yeah well I mean you know you don't care but I think what's you're saying 10th and fate dude you gotta feel like you're above fate at that point yeah yeah I've gone down in this piece of [ __ ] 35 times I'm good yeah yeah yeah yeah there really is eight million is it that cool wait so they don't have like a single video of the wreckage or anything from one of the past Cody go ahead and give that last name a shot you got 20 20 Vision now no I'm actually good I can't see doctor [ __ ] up I can't quite see it Paul Henry narziolet okay guys we want to take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's episode see geek with over 28 million Lasik dude seed geek is the number one rated ticketing app there it is right there I got the app on my phone sorry go ahead oh no that's fine you were just showing them that there are more than 70 000 events listed every single day on C geek including concerts Sports festivals and more hold on I'm scrolling for the 70 000. yeah man I mean there's plenty of artists on there you know they got Taylor Swift sza Arctic Monkeys Ed Sheeran's on tour you're not going to want to miss out folks oh [ __ ] oh Funk Fest oh in Anaheim that's coming up nice I thought it said [ __ ] fest yeah I was gonna buy a ticket I think that's in Berlin I use Sea Geeks to get tickets to the upcoming [ __ ] fest no I you see geek to get tickets to Taylor Swift's upcoming concert the purchasing experience was so easy I am so excited to see the show for my amazing seats yeah what else we got on here uh well they always want to make laser oh hey shout out Nikki um well regardless of who you're seeing they always want to make sure they being sea geek they want to make sure you're getting a good deal so when you're on the app look for the green dots green means good and red means bad every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee and seat geek is the only site that lets you return tickets ahead of the event with swaps and you know we came through for you guys use the code TMG for 20 off tickets at Sea geek that's 20 off your first purchase with promo code TMG make sure you click the link in the description to download the app I'll see you all at [ __ ] 2023. yeah a French Maritime expert has been on over 35 Dives to the Titanic wreck site is one of the five people aboard it's submersible that has been okay so we got to give these guys some credit if this dude now what does a French Maritime expert mean this guy's like paid enough times to go down or does or does he have a little a little fast pass a little season yeah maybe he's got like a annual membership yeah you know maybe the CEO said hey you come down on these with me to kind of legitimize it you don't have to pay yeah and he's like goals answer that's I don't know if that's friend [Laughter] dude what if they got to the bottom the bog brothers were there bonjour [Laughter] crush it I guess that is what happened yeah okay so give me five times give these folks some credit give this billionaire some credit this guy if okay if this guy gets on I'm probably on yeah I guess I mean I'm not but I'd feel like more comfortable down there yeah yeah it feels like I've done this 35 times we're good yeah this is normal yeah exactly well dude this is normal time every time this happens every time I hope for their sake oh that's it right there oh okay that's pretty cool that's three miles down is that night vision or is that just like there's still light down there so they're looking at it that's pretty cool but is it that cool like it's just a shipwreck I I don't know I think it's kind of cool we're a quarter million dollars in death I mean if that if that's if that's not an issue for you and you think it's safe that would be a cool thing to do yeah I think it's the same as you know a Taylor Swift fan those tickets are not cheap yeah yeah exactly and we might say isn't it just like a white girl with a guitar yeah you know but you got to see it yes exactly there's there there are a lot of Titanic heads out there yeah actually Kelsey's cousin knows literally everything about Titanic he's obsessed with it well he can add one more is he missing yeah yeah yeah is he missing always something not me it's a genuine question is he around yeah actually no damn but like there are people that that just love tea heads yeah t-heads yeah history behind it I mean yeah this is a massive [ __ ] I don't get it I wouldn't I guess I wouldn't do it but I also hate I think I I'm chilling on land yeah like being that far under the surface of the ocean yeah it's not nothing is worth that anxiety right unless I saw one of those fish with the [ __ ] lanterns coming out of the head then you're down then I'd probably be down what if that would be cool like seeing nature would be cool let me okay let me let me make this really difficult for you then there's a deep sea Echidna down there yeah yeah I would definitely do it but you gotta pay um yeah I'd pay like not 250 Grand but like I paid 200 G's oh yeah I'm kidding I'm kidding but yeah like so he's like I'm kidding I'd pay 300 yeah seeing one of these would be sick don't you think yeah an angler yeah I guess like yeah seeing man-made wreckage of a cruise ship yeah yeah I agree it's like that that would be like in a thousand years if we went to like the Carnival Cruise yeah the Carnival Cruise just went yeah yeah it was a [ __ ] dead people from Florida yeah yeah perfectly preserved because it's cold and damn they got old people from Florida just Frozen at the poker table now I'm making it sound cool that does sound kind of cool yeah but what the hell is that blood on the side rust oh what is that like a thousand bodies in there just leaking blood um if you're listening on audio it's uh it's an image of a giant cow carcass with like arms and legs sticking out of it there's like a bunch of people stuffed in there yeah that I mean dude I hope it was Swift for them seeing a cruise ship on land is cool or like on like above water yeah like when we were in Australia and I was like sitting in my room in the Four Seasons with the so the view of the view of oh that's right you had that insane view exactly so not only the opera house but I also saw the entire Harbor oh as well which includes the port for the cruise ships that come through the fast forward button getting lit up right now yeah that was just it's a great it's cool to see it and then the little boy in you came out like your pupils died lady like whoa that's a big bowl look at the boat Kelsey look at the boat look at the boat babe she's like Cody put your underwear on stand on the balcony with your dick out that's a big bow wow picking up my like yeah just grabbing my dick and pulling on it baby look at the boat just sucking on your [ __ ] nuts and dick if you're wearing a shirt you know pants just doing the Winnie the Pooh tugging on your dick and balls look at the big boat look at the boat Cody put on your underwear stop playing with your penis go see the boat I want to go see the boat [Music] here and then here look at this iPad oh dude after you're watching the iPad and you're still tugging on your dick in the middle of your like [Laughter] picking your nose eating it rubbing your eye going back to tucking your dick farting your hands stinky she's like God damn yeah uh yeah go yeah paying 250 Grand to see you know uh you know Vintage Carnival Cruise I guess it's cool but not for the price of death you know yeah so are they just still gone like is it just yeah so yeah oh what do people yeah so what happened so that when you say like are they still gone that's the scariest part this is where it becomes absurdly not funny if they didn't go quickly in an absurd way then they are probably sitting at the bottom starving to death and then slowly freezing to death I put a link uh in the in the slack the New York Times I guess the Coast Guard is giving updates right now as we speak um in a conference and they said if they're there they have about 40 hours of air left and when was that like that's right now that's right as of like Tuesday at 10 30. so and they've been gone since Saturday I think they started going missing on Sunday like and do they have like any like can they look for them is there any like other subs that they can use they can that's the thing is there's only five Subs apparently that can get down that deep they can if they're there they might be able to detect them on radar but then if they see them on the radar there's not really anything they can do to like bring them back up they should just cruise around and keep trying to text them yeah yeah they can't they can't drag them up I don't think so they're I mean they're they're [ __ ] yeah I pulled them up you'd have to do it very slowly oh that's right yeah dude that's so dark yeah oh my God yeah but they the one of the experts was saying there's either like one of two things happened because the way they float to surface there's like a backup and a backup and a backup like a parachute or like this different ways of doing it so either there's a leak and it exploded and they're all dead or it got caught on something and it raised to the top and they're just floating out in the ocean somewhere but it's so vast that like they can't find them which would be God the ocean's just scary as [ __ ] yeah and they can't like open it from the inside right can't open it from the inside there's 17 screws that are only able to be taken out from the outside so like even if they like beached they just stuck oh God see that's horrible that I think if you I'm sitting in there and they're locking the hatch and then some guy pulls out uh a [ __ ] Dewalt drill he just Winks at you yeah yeah I'd be like yo yo counterclock I'm out yeah Camper World got this on sale yes why are you you're what I'm out yeah 17 screws or bolts I guess yeah probably like little wood screws that's it I I say I scream 17 because that's a grim that's like some a24 [ __ ] yeah you know that's like some indie film moment where you're just sitting in there and you're like looking out the port and it's just like yeah yeah you're just watching it like yeah this is it yay so why I'm under what like why they would do that well because this isn't your grandfather's submersible damn dude yeah that's scary [ __ ] dark as [ __ ] you like Duma yeah yeah I do yeah it's a great company yeah and we want to thank them for sponsoring the episode your bedroom deserves a refresh and now is the perfect time to elevate the most important room in your home with thuma introducing the dresser by thuma handcrafted from eco-friendly high quality upcycled wood the dresser has a modern minimalist design that elevates any space the dresser is put together using the Timeless technique of Japanese joinery the spacious and Innovative drawers come ready to Nest making assemblies simple and quick no tools required designed with optionality in mind the dresser fits every space simply add or remove drawers as needs change the dresser by thuma is backed by a lifetime warranty ships right to your door and they offer financing on their website along with the dresser thumba offers other bedroom Essentials to elevate bedtime the bed for example the mattress and the nightstand are perfect compliments to the dresser create that feeling of checking into your favorite boutique hotel but at home with the dresser by thuma and now go to thuma.co TMG to receive free shipping in the continental US go to thuma dot Co slash TMG that's t-h-u-m-a dot Co slash TMG for free shipping and the thing that's not fair that talking about this is the way people have spoken about it it's so the way they phrase things it's just not fair like you can't like not laugh why let me read one so [ __ ] what the [ __ ] for some reason he's like oh wait a second you know this diagram it's crazy who's gaming in Chelsea boots [Laughter] yeah yeah true yeah wait so there is a billionaire customer yeah and what were you saying about his like stepson oh dude I got that too but let me read this okay this is from bird respecter on Twitter shout out bird respecter man um just saw the inside of the missing submarine these guys are insanely dead imagine paying 250 000 to die in a drainage pipe that doesn't even have seats in it miserable insanely dead it's only chills yeah insanely chill insanely dead they are insanely chilled now yeah seriously uh the stepson one is here we go here we go yo this is from Burger Krang okay okay so this guy the billionaire stepson posted Hamish my stepdad is lost in a submarine thoughts and prayers that the rescue mission will be successful and then the next day he posts a picture of himself at a Blink 182 concert with zoom in it might be distasteful of being here but my family would want me to be at the Blink 182 show it's my favorite band and music helps me in difficult times he then even tweeted at them basically saying like my stepdad is lost in the submarine no way actually I hope this is a good one can I meet you mark damn yeah dark yep where are you oh God damn right damn dude damn that's not my joke damn whose joke was that it's something I saw on Twitter damn I go to Europe for four weeks I come back Ryan's funny holy [ __ ] damn it we do have something to light in the mood for you guys if we want to if we want to switch topics real quick I'm fine I'm I'm happy yeah I'm kidding I'm kidding yes what where are you uh you guys remember the uh butthole uh chocolates cast the chocolate ass yeah well someone on the ship decided to um do that no [ __ ] way filmed it so I didn't know if you wanted to do it in Maine or in bonus um do you want to watch it in Maine and and yeah okay is this even like legal well that's why I said that's why I wanted to give you the option of like do you want to do it in bonus but I think we'd be safe in Maine if you want to it's censored it's it's was it you will tell you do you want to do it now or you want to say it for later what when did we do the other one when we made the chocolates yeah I feel like we should do it then all right so let's bring out who who well yeah let's just bring out whoever it was yeah did you actually do it shitty [ __ ] eating grin press of the Ukrainian front lines wow everyone is my producer Alex former assistant upgrade did you actually do it oh yeah we had we had a couple tries what do you mean a couple tries we had a long conversation about this and I asked him who you did it with cash no do you want to play the clip I think we should just play the clip okay play the clip you don't want to talk about who oh we can get there we can get there Alex you [ __ ] met this is a position I never wanted to see [Laughter] and here's the [ __ ] up thing he does this in my house [Laughter] this is the longest person I've ever met dude and I'm not talking about his dick he's just he's built like a [ __ ] Cricket like who's saying higher well we'll see my girl off Tinder what not always two two I'm serious a random girl off Tinder a random girl off Tinder yeah yeah she was so into it it had a couple girls match and they were into it and they ghosted me and then one time I was gonna like I was on the way to the bar and she just bailed and then this girl came and saved it all on the way to the bar yeah I was like on the way like I don't blame you you're like my my butthole's getting cold like this for [ __ ] two hours nah hold up you were gonna go drink with these people and then go do it that's what happened yeah yeah we like we went to Vegas we got a couple drinks we hit it off wait did you tell her did you tell her on Tinder beforehand oh yeah my profile I can read my profile oh you made a special profile yeah yeah this kid's insane so oh yeah here's the profile or it says need help making a chocolate mold of my butthole serious inquiries only even if you don't think I'm funny parentheses impossible you'll be relieved to know that I'm 6'3 which is which is a fact let me tell you right now if you're five nine you would have not got this done yeah you're five nine there's no shot you would have got this done all right let's continue I forgot you were gonna do this I'm proud of you I cannot believe that this is real all right hang out with Alex for a couple months and you can trust me there's nothing to not believe about this man those are some photos right there oh man getting there like I thought you were a soccer player I was one of the girls responds she was like that purple Fisher and the purple photo that was like five years ago yeah I was like yeah all right so the uh the misses you landed on yeah um she Who Shall Not Be Named no she does not want to be named so she she hit you up and was like is this a joke or no no so we matched and I messaged her first and she said something about cats I was like don't worry I've got a cat like it's cool I'm not allergic but I'm hoping you saw my bio and she was like oh yeah I saw it and she swiped right yeah yeah all she saw was six three yeah it dude it's like moth to a flame you put six three yeah yeah did you actually read it though she's like well I mean I saw the numbers yeah the numbers part of it yeah girls are really good at math okay yeah yeah yeah yeah oh my God and so you said did you see my buyer she was like yes yeah yeah you know be a funnier like and you're like this is serious yeah I mean it said serious inquiries only so I was trying to call anybody yeah because that makes it no I said I said I'm serious so do it you know be a really fun experiment after this put that same bio up and change it to five take the five seven and see how many replies you get you'll be happy to know I'm five seven ew okay so mold one you [ __ ] pervert [ __ ] creep okay up up higher higher I hate this dude yeah into it I actually I asked Jersey like Trump voice cannot believe just pour the cup into it yeah that's it that's just right there yeah [Laughter] it's cup we have the best one that's a nice cup here's what we're what we're looking at oh yeah um oh yeah let's clarify to the audience what we're looking at um it's Al it's my producer Alex lying on his back and a girl fisting his ass which it very well could be we can't really tell it's completely all we see is it's like like this Shin part of his legs yeah and his upper it is like lower thigh the thing is on his back legs over his head and like through the blur you can kind of see this girl is doing something to his ass I'm just following the instructions that's the position they told me yeah and here's the other thing about Alex is he's so quick to demonstrate things like this and he wears shortly you see his shorts now they're so short I'm ready to go I was ready to give you a demonstration right here this really isn't that off putting me because I've seen him do this in my place a multitude of times right right right him and Alina were in like a month-long argument about missionary and he just kept having to lie on his back and demonstrate I'm like dude I was right I wonder I don't need to lie on your back yeah yeah don't don't please I [ __ ] wait I will shoot myself no no girl on bottom but she was she was saying that girl like you're the girl has her legs locked straight out and I was like nobody's [ __ ] like that you're gonna pass out if you walk exactly I'm like he's got to be a slight Bend to it and that was the argument I used the word up so she hey hey Elena's about form okay on top she's like hey go [ __ ] with my form sorry I'm sorry get in there get the [ __ ] in there come on let's [ __ ] what are you waiting for that's how she do you look like a corpse I can't she's like oh you're not a real man you can't get in there oh you need me to bend my knees [Laughter] hey guys we want to take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's episode better help listen I know you most of you are very giving people right you focus on other people but sometimes that means forgetting about yourself how are you supposed to balance the two of them it's so easy to get caught up in what everyone else needs from you and never take a moment to think about what you need from yourself um allow me to elaborate yeah if you spend all your time giving it can leave you feeling stretched thin and burned out um yeah yeah thinly stretch yeah of course wide open yeah therapy can give you tools to find more balance in your life so you can keep supporting others without leaving yourself stretched thin therapy can be a great way to gain a larger understanding of yourself it isn't just for those who have experienced major traumas you can learn positive coping skills set boundaries and it can Empower you to be the best version of yourself and if you're thinking about giving therapy a try you can you can start by trying better help it's entirely online designed to be convenient flexible and suited to your schedule all you do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge find more balance with betterhelp visit betterhelp.com TMG today to get 10 off your very first month that's better help help.com TMG all right so mold one okay so there's multiple oh yeah okay let's keep watching spread it is friend open spread it open I swear to God your best friends [Applause] laughs why don't ever touch my cameras again that thing stinks this is porn yeah it is oh it's censored it's like Japanese porn it's tasteful this is this is a nightmare image man it's just these legs up in the in the whatever one light is just horrifying bro it's not one Spotlight we pointed it directly on my ass I can't I can't tell if this is um like you're on your back or you're on your stomach oh I'm on my back now I know you're on your back but it just this looks like a kidnapping yeah it looks like a ransom video like it's got this gives me the worst feeling we're going to mold his [ __ ] if you don't give us one million dollars ah ew which is like the glumping was too thin I'm saying ew because dude you you pay attention to these last two lines yeah I don't want to think about you in this way he's just like it's spread it is too thick it's spread she was about it she was about it oh my God we waited too long waited too long first if you don't marry this girl we hit it off we hit it off dude this is like [ __ ] four hours before before we went to the bar we had a couple drinks I mean if you're like meeting somebody on these circumstances like it's like you get like we've never done it you're pretty comfortable pretty quick though oh okay but then after was it weird no no it was even better [Laughter] she's like I'm spread I'm spread I don't want to joke about this he knows this person wrong [Music] I feel like it's got to be ready by now stop looking down I already saw your butthole last night you stopped being shot okay he's trying to remember all right I'm gonna spread it more open and then we'll try to keep as much on my butthole as we can we'll do fail though we can't all this trouble why did you three times yeah dude you know how hard it is to keep that rubber like that liquidity no idea no I don't want to Discount your experience because let me be clear all right appreciate the [ __ ] out of Alex if I can let me just say this when we when we receive those molds I talked with them and he goes I'll [ __ ] do it I said will you actually he goes yeah I'm like dude and what I wanted to do this is this is even better but what I wanted to do was just put some on the table you really have one they're just trying to trick you like you're like oh I'm like you just say my producer's [ __ ] well that's the [ __ ] they don't that company doesn't make chocolate out of your molds they just give you like a bronze paper out of your butthole they don't make like your butthole into a chocolate I was ready to eat you up man I know I was ready I was ready to have you oh that makes me all right well it falls down you gotta keep pacing it on my ass okay that's fine I'm pushing it in I know yeah even more this just feels like porn it does like to anyone listening they're like this is just you guys are just on PornHub they're like attending like they're like they're like nice bit nice bit yeah yeah yeah it's not nice to steal people's content you [ __ ] [ __ ] who actually made this films too she just didn't want to be like her face showing her name oh my God Champion dude if you I'm serious if you don't marry this girl I mean we're gonna we're going another date yeah you're an idiot if you don't how do you top this though yeah we keep that on the back burner I don't know man am I what I'm more caught up in dude is I think you've found a real catch I know she's great this is the beginning of like a beautiful you know I can see you guys 10 years that's what you're saying locking it in yeah is this what it's like to be six three yeah yeah it is we never had an experience like this we don't know this life this life is crazy oh yeah tell me not not true not true this is kind of beautiful Alex is just getting into it he's like you can tell me anything it's kind of beautiful you can tell me anything listen well I'm an open book right now oh man give it 10 more minutes of this there's a childhood yeah so then I saw my uncle you oh you're the only person that's seen my butthole lose up close the killer like why like it's not shaped as a normal bottle I mean dude you're getting burned down I know she's roasting Magic your thighs she's like she's gripping them [Laughter] nothing much you can do in that position well the other thing is Alex doesn't even have an ass yeah it's so flat yeah like there's like the cheeks were spread no matter what I was doing you don't think it works no no what's your junk just like hanging out oh yeah I was just kind of holding it I just gotta hold it oh no it didn't work how many times did you do it failure so we went to get drinks we we went to get drinks go back to my place um we just like I mean they're like I guess we gotta get get to this mold the [ __ ] we're a little drunk and she was like just show me your butthole right now it's like like break the ice so I'm standing in my living room like pulling my pants down and spreading my cheeks in front of her face and she's like all right you gotta shave that so so I went in the bathroom leg up on the counter was shaving and then we tried it three times and like it none of them took like none of them like worked well enough it wouldn't take yeah so we had to do it a fourth time so if we want to play that clip real quick oh my God when I promoted you to a producer it's not so you could make content like this who in the way you hurt right now I'm nervous this is porn this is porn this is porn it's so the ad said you need an open-minded friend yeah yeah and he was open-minded and yeah open legged front too yeah yeah we couldn't catch up did you actually do the last time yeah I mean yeah foreign [Laughter] what is it I think it's some sort of crustacean [Music] damn bro there are a couple hairs in there I wouldn't look too close this like this looks like a like a tear in time and space you know what I mean yeah like a rift yeah this is the and now you can confidently call these things like the eye of Sauron long butthole okay put that in a case yeah damn whoa dude wow thank you thank you of course thank you I'm proud of you thank you I mean I wouldn't have gone that day without you guys yeah it yeah we gave you your wife in this so I just want you to know that pretty much but we didn't get a chocolate out of it though which was disappointing yeah I did find a pastry chef though that was able to mold a different body part of mine if you want that yeah yeah this isn't wonder how nice yeah oh I wonder why oh is this your [ __ ] oh one to one this is your [ __ ] it's actually a little smaller right he didn't really get the veins submersible right there looks like my uncle's submersible wait let me yeah it looks like my uncle's a person damn bro that's crazy yeah yeah bust it open dude chocolate I was opening my dick on I mean like oh it's color oh that's color accurate too oh look at the grooves look at the skin tone right but yeah okay take a bite bro yeah I don't think I could I think you could take a small bite don't choke on it suspect [Laughter] this looks like a [ __ ] this looks like some Dutch home like out of here man this is your dick it's on a Countryside yeah this is a guy named [ __ ] Slauson yeah yeah take a bite okay hold on Alex you hungry yeah I am HR which we have yeah yeah HR it's pretty good chocolate oh my God I don't think we're gonna be able to show don't meat slap the camera that is so thick we're traumatizing all these cameras are [ __ ] traumatized please blur that on the YouTube version I mean this this episode is [ __ ] anyway that's true this isn't it's awesome age restriction waiting to happen God damn dude thank you so much for that beautiful story yeah of course you're the man wonderful appreciate it and you got to go out with her again and yeah let us know if it works out for sure yeah you gotta you gotta bring again you gotta bring a full circle and mold hers that's what I wanted to do and do it his and hers yeah side by side plaques yeah and then when you guys get married you should like yeah you know you know I don't know send the paperweights as invites yeah exactly yes God damn dude the one thing I will say is there wasn't enough angles in the video I I wanted to set one up like a GoPro I was gonna set up one between her legs so you can see directly into my anus but I thought that would just be completely blurred out so I didn't I don't think it was worth it you should have did a GoPro 360. [Laughter] made it an immersive experience so I could get in your ass look at her hands yeah so yeah the late cash is just casually oh dick it's my dick Alex all right man appreciate it you guys thank you dude everyone Make some noise for Alex yeah wow oh also cash and I are moving in together now after that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah nice that was in the new apartment we have one oh yeah are you actually yeah it's the couch and now he's been spread eagle on it that was shot beautifully that last thanks man oh yeah probably because Alex didn't creative direct that one if only cash was in the room for the first Endeavor that [ __ ] was too dark Alex yeah and we're not talking about your ass I know you gotta I know it's bubble gum pink I know it's bubblegum pink paint that yeah oh yeah dude paint by numbers dude it's just like like those [ __ ] Warhammer paintings now I'll be using uh an obsidian dark bass to bring out the textures before recoating it with the chrysanthemum pink wow that's unbelievable yeah yeah Lord I mean that's what that's why I love him he's in the craziest guys I know what an episode I'm like exhausted yeah a little bonus to do what we got a Bonus to get to we should just mold Alex's [ __ ] for the bonus live yeah that'll be our next moment House show yeah oh mold a fan [Laughter] we're choosing one lucky guy to get his anus molded on live TV [Laughter] being tall [ __ ] rules probably crazy probably probably will never know yeah I just didn't even think that that was possible yeah dude because you're [ __ ] we're us we're here I guess people are just like more open in general yeah I think that you think yeah you know or has it always been this way and then people are just finding each other faster yeah maybe yeah like uh you know you go to Berlin that's Child's Play yeah it's true [Music] well we can talk about the bonus but I've heard berghein is that ain't even yeah that ain't even the it's that's pretty crazy yeah but I've heard that's not even the oh like there's more like there's branchier places yeah um yeah well let's talk about it in the bone thanks for joining us folks as always [Music] oh that made you sick Alex oh God I can't stop oh dude stop doing that yes hold on there's a video of Alex moaning Jesus Christ man imagine how rude it'd be if I just broke this right now oh my God all right we'll see everybody in the bonus bye this week on the I was trying to be a stupid American joking about it and he just he made this really philosophical statement of something like kitkats is an experience here in Berlin we're not very judgmental it seems that every year or two there's like a new club that opens up that becomes a thing and everyone kind of moves on it's just always a Perpetual like where's the next place to get poison X yeah getting peed on at this club is getting boring so I walked in they did like all the final tests and then he comes in and he's like all right you ready to [ __ ] do this and then they bring you to this room and she was like oh and by the way I'm gonna give you a teddy bear so you can hold it hold it but then she's like do you want the bear and I'm like give me the bear give me the bear yes please give me the bear watch watch for a membership at tmgstudios.tv [Laughter]

Channel: TMG Studios

Views: 505,687

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Id: p_t0siOUegQ

Length: 67min 26sec (4046 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 21 2023