The Laws of Human Nature In 100 Minutes (Animated)

hello everyone in the second chapter of the book Robert Greene talks about narcissism which is a state of an extreme self-absorption and while we are all up to some extent narcissistic almost all the problems in the world can be directly or indirectly connected to the extreme form of it which is deep narcissism we all naturally possess the most remarkable tool for connecting to people and attaining social power this tool is empathy when cultivated and properly used it can allow us to see into the moods and minds of others giving us the power to anticipate people's actions and gently lower their resistance this instrument however is blunted by our habitual self-absorption it is quite wise to understand that we are all narcissists some deeper on the spectrum than the others it is therefore our mission in life to come to terms with this self-love and learn how to turn our sensitivity outward towards others instead of inward we must recognize at the same time the toxic narcissists among us before getting in meshed in their dramas and poisoned by their envy in our early childhood we are dependent on others for attention validation and love but later on we realized that these sources are not that reliable our emotional needs often remain unmet and so we learn to develop an inner sense of self this is a positive self-image of ourselves that we create in our mind in this image we make our positive attributes prominent and explain away our flaws this helps us develop positive self-love and validates us from the dinner we can resort to it at any point especially when we are alone it is very reliable so much so that it becomes unconscious and we barely notice it unfortunately some people never learn to develop this inner sense of self they remain dependent on others for all the attention and validation the reason of this is often a sharp break in their early stages of development perhaps their parents were abusive or were themselves too self-absorbed to acknowledge the child or maybe they were too much caring which conditioned that child to remain dependent on others for all their emotional needs and their sense of self even in adulthood these people rank high on the narcissism scale they tend to see others as extensions of themselves also called as self objects people exist as instruments for attention and validation their desire is to control them like they control their own arm or leg in a relationship they will slowly make the partner cut off contact with friends [Music] empathy is more than anything a state of mind the greatest danger you face is your general assumption that you really understand people and that you can quickly judge and categorize them instead you must begin with the assumption that you are ignorant and that you have natural biases that will make you judge people incorrectly empathy is an instrument of emotional attunement it is hard for us to read or figure out the thoughts of another person but feelings and moods are much easier for us to pick up we are all prone to catching the emotions of another person the reason you are able to understand your friends or partners so deeply is that you have a lot of information about their tastes values and family background we all have had the experience of thinking we know someone but over time having to adjust our original impression once we get more information so while physical empathy is extremely powerful it must be supplemented by analytical empathy becoming empathetic like anything involves a process in order to make sure that you are really making progress and improving your ability to understand people on a deeper level get direct and indirect feedback from others you can directly ask them about their moods or learn more about their life people tend to wear the mask that shows them off in the best possible light and hides their insecurities they want to be seen as humble confident and diligent they say the right things smile and seem interested in our ideas they learn to conceal their insecurities and envy if we take this appearance for reality we never really get to know their true feelings and on occasion they become shocked at their sudden resistence austerity and manipulative actions fortunately the mask has cracks in it people continually leak out their true feelings and unconscious desires in the nonverbal cues that they cannot completely control for example their facial expressions and tension in the body you must master this language by transforming yourself into a superior reader of men and women armed with this knowledge you can take proper defensive measures when necessary and most importantly you can effectively help and take care of the people you love Milton Erickson was a pioneer in hypnotherapy and one of the most influential psychologist of the 20th century one day he woke up at age 17 to find certain parts of his body paralyzed a few days later he was diagnosed with polio and was unable to move any part of his body except his eyeballs while being in that state he discovered something phenomenal his senses heightened and he could notice unusual cues when he saw his sister's talking or playing with each other he would notice their body language the way they talked the way they made requests to each other and so on he was able to see their deep desires and intentions by focusing deeply on their nonverbal communication in a similar way he learned to walk again by focusing on a particular muscle in his leg wanting to explore this thing further he decided to pursue a career in psychology for Milton his sudden paralysis opened his eyes to not only a different form of communication but also a completely different way of relating to people what he discovered is that nonverbal communication cannot be experienced simply through thinking and translating thoughts into words but must be felt physically as one engages with the facial expressions or locked positions of other people it is a different form of knowledge one that connects with the animal part of our nature remember that people are generally trying to present the best possible front to the world they will use words to hide their feelings and distract you from the reality they'll also use certain facial expressions that are easy to put on and that people assume mean friendliness your task is to look past the distractions and become more aware of these signs that leak out automatically revealing something of the true emotion beneath the mask [Music] when choosing people to work and associate with don't be mesmerized by the reputation or taken in by the surface image they try to project instead train yourself to look deep within them and see their character people's character is formed in their earliest years and by their daily habits it is what compels them to repeat certain actions in their lives and fall into negative patterns look closely at such patterns and keep in mind that people never do something just once they will inevitably repeat their behavior gauge the relative strength of their character by how well they handle adversity their ability to adapt and work with other people and their patience and ability to learn always gravitate towards those who display signs of a strong character and avoid the many toxic types out there note thoroughly your own character so you can break your compulsive patterns and take control of your destiny [Music] Howard Hughes was an American businessman who inherited a fortune from his parents when they died in his teenage years the fortune included a Tool Company that was later turned into an aircraft manufacturing company in his early years Hughes was raised up in an overprotective and controlling environment his every action was monitored and decisions made by his parents this made Hughes resentful of the lack of control and freedom in his life after the death of his parents the nice and obedient Hughes suddenly turned into a rebellious control freak his repressed desire for control had come out and created a pattern for the rest of his life he would win people over by his job people would assume him to be a very successful businessman due to the company he inherited but they were not able to judge his character which only revealed over time when it was too late Hughes reigned his business ventures and even his health because of his extreme control and inability to delegate and manage people this patterns wind his destiny the thing about patterns is that they repeat themselves and thus shape our character which in turns determines our destiny [Music] the most significant indicator of people's character comes through their actions over time despite what people say about the lessons they have learned and how they have changed over the years you will inevitably notice the same actions and decisions repeating in the course of their life the second most important indicator of someone's character is how they act under pressure a person with a strong character has clear values and is unwilling to compromise on them they show resilience and persistence under pressure the person with a weak character on the other hand gives up similarly how people handle power and responsibility will tell you a lot about them as Abra ham Lincoln said if you want to test a man's character give him power [Music] to succeed in life you must play to your strengths but unfortunately most people let their ego come in the way of their success they try to improve their innate weaknesses and so they end up wasting a lot of time and energy people with superior character understand their limitations they know that there is both good and bad to every human being and so they work on improving their strengths and increase their awareness about their own patterns keep in mind that most people will keep repeating their patterns throughout their life making it easier for you to understand their character by focusing on these patterns similarly understand your own patterns to play to your strengths by nature the humans are not easily contented with our circumstances by some perverted force within us the moment we possess something or get what we want our minds begin to drift towards something new and different we imagine that we can have it better the more distant and unattainable this new object the greater is our desire to have it we can call this the grass is always greener syndrome it is like an optical illusion if we get too close for the grass which means to that new object we see that it is not exactly as we expect it it's mystery wears off closer to home we can see the syndrome at work in our daily lives we continually look at other people seem to have it better than us we may be in a perfectly satisfying relationship but our minds often drift toward a new person someone who doesn't have the very real flaws of our partner or so we think we dream of being taken out of our boring life by traveling to some new culture that is exotic and where people are just happier than in the grimy City where we live in all these cases if we get closer to the people we envy that supposed happy family or that you dopey ax we would see through the illusion and often when we act on these desires we soon become disappointed at the reality but it doesn't change our behavior we still want the next object littering in the distance and so the next sex or occult or get-rich-quick scheme will inevitably seduce us you can explain this human nature to your advantage by creating some mystery which I will explain soon anyways the syndrome can be explained by three qualities of the human brain the first is known as induction this is how something positive generates a contrasting negative image in our mind this is most obvious in our visual system when we see some color for example black it tends to intensify our perception of the opposite color around us which in this case would be white in general the mind operates by contrast it is necessary as we formulate concepts about something by becoming aware of its opposite what this means is that whenever we see or imagine something our minds cannot help but see or imagine the opposite if we are forbidden by our culture to think a particular thought or entertain a particular desire that taboo instantly brings to the mind the rare thing that we are forbidden every no sparks or corresponding yes [Music] if our early ancestors had been prone to fill-in content with their circumstances they would not have been sensitive enough to possible dangers that lurked in the most apparently safe environments we survived and thrived through our continual conscious alertness which predisposed us to thinking and imagining the possible negative in any circumstance we are inclined therefore toward a continual negative BS what is real and what is imagined are both experienced almost similarly in the brain this has been demonstrated through various experiments in which subjects who imagine something produce electrical and chemical activity in their brains that is remarkably similar to when they actually live out what they are imagining what this means is that our imagination is essentially limitless and what we imagine has almost the force of what we actually experience and so we become creatures who are continually prone to imagining something better than the present circumstances and feeling some pleasure in the release from reality that our imagination brings us [Music] you see yourself in a special way but to other people you are just a person among others and as a person you inspire either curiosity and excitement or indifference at worst you may inspire hostility keep in mind that people project onto you their own fantasies and preconceptions by understanding and taking control of other people's perceptions you or your work can become more desirable the following are the three main strategies for becoming more desirable know how and when to withdraw things are mostly judged by their appearances and too much exposure makes you look common and makes other people get tired of you learn to create some mystery be cold and unavailable sometimes so that you won't be taken for granted create rivalries of desire when one person desires something other people start desiring it as well that's how trends are created for us humans competing for someone's attention is quite common use this to your advantage use induction associate yourself to some degree with the unconventional your goal is to stand out of the crowd by standing out and differentiating yourself from others you automatically become desirable [Music] it is in the animal part of our nature to be most impressed by what we can see and hear in the present or whatever seems the most dramatic this is what makes us fall for alluring schemes that promise quick results or easy money and it is the exact same thing that makes us overreact to present circumstances we become overly exhilarated or panicky as events turn one direction or the other you should measure people by the narrowness or breadth of their vision avoid entangling yourself with those who cannot see the consequences of their actions these people are in a continual reactive mode and they will infect you with this energy as well your eyes must be on the larger trends that govern events and which are not immediately visible never lose sight of your long-term goals with an elevated perspective you'll have the patience and clarity to reach almost any objective every vent is connected to something that happened before in an endless chain of historical happenings any present problem has deep roots in the past and it also encompasses the future whatever we do has consequences that stretch far into the years to come when we limit our thinking to what our senses immediately provide we are no longer aware of why or how things come about we imagine that some successful scheme that has lasted a few months can only get better we react to what is given in the moment based on only a small piece of the big puzzle the result of all this is that our actions lead to unintended consequences or even to disasters like the South Sea crash or the recent crash of 2008 there is in fact a way for us humans to give ourselves an expanded view in the present moment we can call this the farsighted perspective first when facing a problem conflict or some exciting opportunity we train ourselves to detach from the heat of the moment we work to calm down our excitement or our fear and get some distance next we start to make our perspective deep and wide in considering the nature of the problem we are confronting we don't just grab for an immediate explanation but instead we dig deeper and consider other possibilities and possible motivations for the people involved we force ourselves to look at the overall context of the event not just what immediately grabs our attention we focus on our long-term goals and realign our priorities in the present according to them in simple words this process involves a distance from the present a deeper look at the source of problems a wider perspective on the overall context of the situation and a look further into the future which obviously includes the consequences of our actions and our own long-term priorities as with most elements of human nature awareness is the key only by seeing the signs of shortsightedness in ourselves we can combat them the following are the four most common manifestations of short-term thinking unintended consequences in the 19th century India which was under the British rule there were too many venomous Cobras in the streets of Delhi the authorities announced that for every killed Cobra brought to them a reward will be given soon after this the locals started to breed Cobras in order to make a living and by the time the government cancelled its programme there were three times more corporis than before any phenomenon in the world is by nature complex an action sets off a limitless chain of reactions it is never as simple as event a leading to event B the event B will further lead to event C than to D and beyond you cannot possibly map out this chain of events or get complete control over consequences but by making your thinking more consequential you can at least become aware of the more obvious negative consequences that could ensue and this often spells the difference between success and disaster our minds are designed for strategic thinking and calculating several moves in advance towards our goals but in tactical hell you can never raise your perspective high enough to think in that manner that is because you're constantly reacting to the moves of another person and not being proactive embroiled in their dramas and emotions you keep going around in circles the only solution is to sacrifice your ego and back down remind yourself that winning an argument or proving your point gets you nowhere in the long run win through your actions not your words during the run-up to the 1929 crash on Wall Street many people had become addicted to playing the stock market and this addiction had a physical component which was the sound of the ticker tape that registered each change in a stock's price hearing that clicking noise indicated something was happening somebody was trading and making a fortune many felt drawn to the sound itself which felt like the heartbeat of Wall Street we no longer have the ticker tape but many of us have become addicted to the minute-by-minute news cycle to the latest trends we feel like we are connected to the very flow of life itself prevents as they change in real time and to other people who are following the same incident reports it is normal to want to keep up with the latest news but to base any kind of decision on these snapshots of the moment is to run the risk of miss reading the larger picture you feel the need to be on top of all the details and global trends so that you can control things better but you are drowning in information this is a sure sign that you have lost a sense of your priorities make yourself aware of which facts are more important what problems or details require more attention like everyone you enjoy the present and its passing pleasures instead of becoming a monk you connect to the trends of the moment and to the current flow of life but you derive even greater pleasure from reaching your long-term goals and overcoming adversity this will enable you to see further into the future a potential power that we humans have only begun to tap [Music] no single human being with what to be controlled or manipulated by someone else we all like to think that we are free and the choices we make are not made by compulsion but from our own free will what this means is that master persuasion and influence we must work on other people's emotions rather than making direct requests or using force which only makes others resentful of us but the real question is how do we do that the answer to this question might be the opposite way that you would like to imagine [Music] people have a perception about themselves we can call this perception their self opinion the self opinion can be accurate or not it doesn't matter what matters is how people perceive their own worthiness and how they judge their own character there are three qualities two people's self opinions that are nearly universal these are as follows I am autonomous acting of my own free will I am intelligent in my own way and I am basically good and decent these three are some of the quite common self opinions that people generally have but there are also a wide variety of other self opinions that people can have to influence other people and soften up their resistance you must start by confirming their self opinion an important thing to remember is that just like people with a high self opinion there are also people with a low self opinion they believe that they don't deserve anything good or how unfair life is when dealing with such people you do not try to lift them up this will clash with their belief that the world is against them and that they really do not deserve such good things they will discount your ideas and resist you instead you must work from within their self opinion empathizing with the injustices in their life and the difficulties that they have faced [Music] normally we try to charm people with our own ideas we try to show ourselves in the best light and hype our past accomplishments we ask for favors and promise great things about ourselves but the danger we do not realize is that we are putting all of the attention on ourselves in a world where people are increasingly self-absorbed and defensive this only makes others turn more inward in return and think more of their own interests rather than ours what's so annoying is that even after they refuse to give us what we want we still continually keep butting up their resistance trying harder and harder to convince them only to our dismay the Royal Road to influence and power is to go the opposite direction put the focus on others let them do the talking and let them be the stars of the show you listen to them as to share their ideas and wisdom and you give them sincere appreciation humans love it when they find out that someone shares their values and deeply held beliefs nothing comes off as satisfying as this this kind of attention is quite rare in the world and people are so hungry for it that giving them such validation will lower their defenses and open their minds to whatever ideas you want to insinuate even after you have confirmed their self opinion it is still wise not to make any direct requests they may think you are a flatterer instead you should convey your desire indirectly by your or somebody else's words and actions this way not only it will appear more real but it will also validate them further because it will give them a chance to help you on their own thus enabling them to exercise their free will while you get what you want [Music] [Music] how we see the world affects everything in our lives it affects our finances our relationship our happiness and so much more the reason our perceptions influence our life so much is because they shape our attitude and our attitude decides our life you can change your life for good by mastering your perceptions and in turn your attitude imagine the following scenario a young American has to spend a year studying in Paris he's somewhat timid and cautious and is prone to feelings of depression and low self-esteem but he's genuinely excited by this opportunity once there he finds it hard to speak the language the mistakes he makes and slightly derisory attitude of the Parisians make it even harder for him to learn he finds the people they are not friendly at all the weather is damp and gloomy the food is too rich although he has pleasurable moments he generally feels alienated and unhappy he concludes that Paris is overrated and a rather unpleasant place now imagine the same scenario but with a young woman who is more extroverted and has an adventurous spirit she is not bothered by making mistakes in French nor by the occasional snide remark from a Parisian she finds learning the language a pleasant challenge others find her spirit engaging because of all this she makes friends more easily and with more context her knowledge of French improves she finds the weather romantic and quite suitable to the place to her the city represent endless adventures and she finds it in chanting the conclusion to these stories is that each of us has a particular way of interpreting events and actions of people around us this determines so much of what happens to us in life if our attitude is essentially fearful we see the negative in every circumstance we stop ourselves from taking chances we blame others for mistakes and fail to learn from them similarly if we feel hostile or suspicious we make others feel the same emotions in our presence we sabotage our career and relationships by unconsciously creating those circumstances that we fear the most the good news however is that the human attitude is malleable by making our attitude more positive open and tolerant of other people we can spark a different dynamic we can learn from adversity create opportunities out of nothing and draw people to us to achieve this we must first change the way we perceive things and we also must explore the limits of our willpower and how far it can take us almost all of us Gary hurts and traumas from best experiences or from our childhood but the ways in which we deal with these hurts and traumas are not the same some people develop a destructive attitude because of these hurts while others choose to perceive their traumas as a chance to learn and grow instead of reacting to your hurts at face value which might be the path of least resistance learn to dive deep into your cuts and explore their underlying roots this way you will be able to better understand them and see them as opportunities to improve and create success your attitude will change and you will be more in control that is ultimate freedom having a positive attitude means expanding your vision and focusing on the underlying causes of problems in order to solve them to change your perception consider the following aspects of your life how to view the world see yourself as an explorer with the gift of consciousness you stand before a vast and unknown universe that we humans have just begun to investigate as an explorer you leave all certainty behind you and your quest is always for new ideas and new ways of thinking how to view adversity traumas always have valuable lessons to teach and overcoming obstacles makes a stronger therefore you should always look deeply into your traumas to get a better understanding of why they happen instead of getting emotional or resentful although adversity and pain are generally beyond your control you still have the power to determine your response and the faith that comes from that how to view yourself whatever you are doing now you are in fact capable of much more and by thinking that you will create a very different dynamic in ancient times many great leaders such as Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar felt that they were descendants from cause and are partly divine such self belief would translate into high levels of confidence that others would feed off and recognize it became a self-fulfilling prophecy you don't necessarily need to indulge in such grandiose thoughts but feeling that you are destined for something great or important will give you a degree of resilience when people oppose or resist you you will not internalize the doubts that come from such moments and we'll have an enterprising spirit you will continually try new things and take risks [Music] [Music] we came into this world bursting with energy and intensity and we did not understand the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behavior we only experienced natural impulses and some of these impulses were aggressive but we simply did not care about them at that time whatever emotion we felt whether positive or negative was expressed directly and openly without any barrier we could be openly selfish rude or even manipulative to get things our way but as we got older pressures to present a particular acceptable front came from many directions which included our parents teachers and peers as a result of this we began to suppress our negative tendencies and these negative tendencies then started to haunt our subconscious mind without our awareness this creates a dark side of our character called the shadow the shadow is created in our earliest years it represents our repressed desires traits and tendencies it contains those aspects of us that we think are considered and acceptable and it has a thickness to it which depends on how deep the level of repression was the shadow lies buried deep within but it becomes disturbed and active in moments of stress or when deep wounds and insecurities are triggered [Music] most people are afraid to show their shadow size to the world and that makes sense because the world is too quick to judge and if our behavior is unacceptable we might suffer socially and even financially thus we only wanted to show the acceptable behavior to the outer world the need to fit into the group became a primary motivation and so we learned to tamp down and restrain the dark side of our personality we internalize all of the ideals of our culture like being nice and having pro-social values much of this essential for the smooth functioning of social life but in the process a large part of our nature moved underground into the shadow there are also some people who never learn to control their darker impulses and end up acting them out in real life they often end up becoming the criminals in our midst concealing this dark side requires energy and it can be quite draining to always present such a nice confident front and so the shadow always wants to release some of the inner tension and come back to life you can throw out nature with a pitchfork but she will always come back you must become adept at recognizing such moments in which the shadow is released in others and learn how to interpret them so that you can see the outlines of the shadow that would now come forward in the course of our lives we inevitably meet people who appear to be specially comfortable with themselves they display certain traits that help give this impression they are able to laugh at themselves can admit to certain shortcomings in their character and also the mistakes that they have made they have a playful sometimes impish edge to them as if they have retained more of the child within what such people signal to us is a greater authenticity if most of us have lost a lot of our natural traits and becoming socialized adults the authentic types have somehow managed to keep them alive and active for certain we are completely drawn to the authentic types and unconsciously repulsed from their opposite if we become conscious of our shadow we can control channel and integrate it aware of what we have lost we can reconnect to that part of ourselves that has sunk into the shadow the following are four clear and practical steps for achieving this see the shadow this is the most difficult step in the process a shadow is something we deny and repress it is much easier to dig up and moralize about the dark qualities of others but it is almost unnatural for us to look inward at this side of ourselves remember that you are only half a human if you keep this buried embrace the shadow your natural reaction in uncovering and facing up to your dark side is to feel uncomfortable and maintain only a surface awareness of it your goal here must be the opposite which is to not only completely accept the shadow but also develop a desire to integrate it into your present personality explore the shadow consider the shadow as having depths that contain great creative energy you want to explore these depths the conscious thinking we depend on is quite limited we cannot hold much information in our short and long-term memory but the unconscious contains an almost limitless amount of material from memories and information absorbed in study after prolonged research or work on a problem when we relax our minds and dreams the unconscious begins to work and associate all sorts of random ideas and some of them that are more interesting bubble up to the surface you must explore from within your own darkest impulses even those that might seem criminal and find a way to express them in your work or externalize them in some fashion for example in a journal show the shadow most of the time we secretly suffer from endless social codes we have to adhere to we have to seem so nice and agreeable always going along with the group so much so that being nice becomes a habit which easily turns into timidity lack of confidence and indecision at the same time our shadow will show itself and consciously an explosive fits and starts which are often to our detriment Steve Jobs on the other hand is a classic example for us he showed his rough shadow side in his way of working with others our tendency in looking at people like jobs is to admire their creativity and subtract their darker qualities as unnecessary his ability to not listen to others to go his own way and be a bit rough about it were key parts of his success [Music] humans are naturally compelled to compare themselves with one another we are continually measuring people's status the levels of respect and intention they receive and noticing any differences between what we have and what they have for some of us this need to compare serves as a spur to excel through our work for others it can turn into deep envy the result of this is feelings of inferiority and frustration that lead to covert attacks and sabotage nobody admits to acting out of envy we must recognize the early warning signs which often include false praise and apparent and easiness with your success and we occurs most commonly and painfully among friends when something goes wrong in such case we assume that something in the course of the relationship caused the friend to turn against us sometimes all we experience is the betrayal the sabotage and the ugly criticisms that they throw at us and we never understand the underlying and we that inspired these actions the paradoxical thing is that people who feel Envy in the first place are often motivated to become our friends they feel a mix of genuine interest attraction and envy we have some qualities that make them feel inferior by becoming our friend they can disguise the envy to themselves they will often go even further becoming extra attentive and impatient to secure the friendship but as they draw closer the problem only gets worse the underlying Envy is continually stirred because the very traits that might have stimulated feelings of inferiority are now being witnessed on a daily basis it is not a question of becoming paranoid about every friend but it is simply about being alert once you pick up some signs of possible Envy which I will explain in a bit [Music] before exploring the depths of envy it is important to understand that it is an emotion that is experienced by everyone and that is because we are constantly comparing ourselves to others it is human nature and the fact of social life is that there are always people who are superior to us in wealth intelligence likeability and other qualities in general people experience a passive Envy which is not such an intense emotion it mostly results in a passive-aggressive comment every now and then but they would not do anything that would harm the relationship or friendship in a meaningful way in detecting signs of passive Envy in others you should simply tolerate this as a fact of being a social animal sometimes however this passive envy turns active the underlying sense of inferiority is too strong leading to hostility that cannot be vented by a comment or put-down sitting with one's Envy over a long period of time can be painful and frustrating and this results in a feeling of a self-righteous anger that can be invigorating acting on this kind of envy and doing something to harm the other person brings satisfaction although the satisfaction is short-lived such Envy errs always find something new to envy [Music] although the signs are subtle envious feelings tend to leak out and can be detected if you are observant observing only a single sign in isolation might indicate weak or passive envy whereas any more than that should put you on alert some of the signs are as follows micro-expressions the eyes are indeed a telling indicator but the envious micro expression affects the entire face you will notice the envious eyes momentarily pouring into you with a look that suggests disdain and a touch of hostility it is the look of a child who feels cheated with this look the corners of the mouth will often be turned down the nose in a sneering somewhat upturned position and the chin jutting out although the look will be a little too direct and held a little too long it still will not be able to last for more than a second or two it is usually followed with a strained fake smile often you will see the look by accident as you suddenly turn your head in their direction or you will feel their eyes burning into you without directly looking at them poisonous preys a major Envy attack is often preceded by little Envy bites these are often comments expertly designed to get under your skin let us say you have completed a project which may be a book a film or some other creative venture the initial response from the public is quite positive the envious however will make a comment praising about the money you will now be making implying that this is the main reason you have worked on it you want praise for the work itself and the effort that went into it and instead they imply that you have done it for the money and that you have sold out you feel confused they have praised you but in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable similarly in noting your success they may bring up the least likeable parts of your audience the kind of fans or consumers who do not reflect well on you back-biting if people like to gossip a lot particularly about common acquaintances you can be sure they will gossip about you and gossip is a frequent cover for envy a convenient way to vent it by sharing malicious rumors and stories when they talk about others behind their backs you will see their eyes lit up and their voice becoming animated this is because it gives them a joy comparable to shade and through them which is the pleasure derived from hurting people they will elicit any kind of negative report about a common acquaintance a frequent theme in their gossip is that no one's really that great and people are not what they pretend to be if you notice these signs of envy in anyone you should withdraw from such people as soon as possible [Music] it is quite realistic to realize that it is almost impossible to stop comparing ourselves with others it is too ingrained in our nature as a social animal instead what we must aspire to do is to slowly transform our comparing inclination into something positive productive and pro-social use the following ways to do just that move closer to watch you envy in this age of social media people are expert in putting a fake image of themselves while hiding their flaws move closer and the reality may deflect your envy engage in downwards comparison make it a habit to focus on those who have less than you this will make you more grateful transmute envy in to emulation instead of wanting to hurt or steal from the person who has achieved more we should desire to raise ourselves up to his or her level in this way envy becomes a spur to excellence admire human greatness admiration is the polar opposite of envy we should acknowledge people's achievements and celebrate them without having to feel insecure by doing this we are admitting their superiority in the arts or sciences or in business without feeling pain from this and this goes further in recognizing the greatness of someone we are celebrating the highest potential of our species [Music] ambition is something that we all have deep inside us it is that raw force that motivates us to set lofty goals and take action towards them is strong enough it can inspire us to put in hundred hour work weeks and be relentless and persistent without such a force inside us we would rather become lazy dumb and even unhealthy and in fact most people are destined to drown in the deep sea of mediocrity simply because of their lack of ambition but as much as having a healthy amount of ambition is important to live a successful and happy life too much ambition lead to irrationality and grandiosity which sabotages our chances of long-term success and fulfillment when was the last time you achieved something great how did you feel about it what was the lesson that you learn from this experience well for most people success comes with an increased confidence and self-belief but simultaneously this feeling of self-confidence brings with it irrational expectations we start to believe that we can achieve more and win at something completely different from what we had success with without understanding that every arena of life requires different skill sets we often jump into something completely different from our expertise without developing the necessary skills we also don't bother to put in the extreme hard work that is necessary for attaining mastery in that particular area the result of all this is that our overconfidence leads us to massive unexpected failures we compromise on rationality and a commitment to mastery for me personally this happened when I was in high school I became overconfident after scoring exceptional grades in the 10th grade and started to believe that I'll keep getting good grades with the same amount of effort but I was soon disappointed and learned my lesson the hard way every new level every new venture and every new skill requires more work more creativity and a healthy amount of realism no one has the golden touch extreme ambition and grandiosity does it necessarily have to be a bad thing when combined with realism and a commitment to hard work and mastery such grandiosity can lead to success but only as long as one understands their limits and avoids wishful thinking practical grandiosity is not based on fantasy but on reality the following are five basic principles that are essential for attaining the high level of fulfillment that can come from this reality based form of grandiosity come to terms with your grandiose needs you cannot deny your need for attention fulfillment and success that would be very unrealistic you need to introspect yourself ruthlessly figure out what you want and how you want it understand your childhood patterns and how they shape your present day and develop a clear game plan for getting exactly where you want to get by being completely honest with yourself concentrate the energy understand that your energy is limited if you give this energy to things tasks or people who are not worth your time you will fail you need to concentrate this energy only on your goals your health and the relationships that matter to you only then you will find fulfilment maintain a dialogue with reality humans are irrational beings by nature and if you are not consciously aware of your inner emotional state and your needs you will make devastating decisions based on petty emotions therefore maintain a practical and pragmatic attitude and embrace realism seek out calibrated challenges if you stop challenging yourself you will stop growing but taking on extreme challenges that are way beyond for you with your current skills and grit believe you defeated and frustrated you must take baby steps take on challenges that are just a litte more than what you currently do this is just like gradually adding weight to your workout routine let lose your grandiose energy once you have tamed this energy made it serve your ambitions and goals you should feel safe to let it loose upon occasion think of it as a wild animal that needs to roam free every now and then or it will go mad from restlessness what this means is that you occasionally allow yourself to entertain ideas or projects that represent greater challenges then you have considered in the past this way you will feel increasingly confident and would want to test yourself consider developing a new skill in an unrelated field or writing that novel you once considered a distraction from the real work or simply let your imagination roam freely when in the planning process remember that grandiosity will only help you if it is under your control [Music] this video is about the 12th chapter of Robert Greene's book the laws of human nature at first when I read the title of this chapter I started to laugh but when I actually read it it made me think deeply of the social conditioning that affects all men and women so I highly recommend that you watch this video to the end and leave a comment because I want to know what you think so let's begin both men and women have masculine and feminine qualities within them some of this is genetic and some of it comes from the profound influence of the parent of the opposite sex but in the need to present a consistent identity in society we tend to repress these qualities by over identifying with the masculine or feminine role that is expected of us and the price we pay for this is that we lose valuable dimensions to our character our thinking and ways of acting becomes rigid you must become aware of these lost masculine or feminine traits and slowly reconnect to them unleashing creative powers in the process you want to do this because you will become more fluid in your thinking in bringing out the masculine or feminine undertone to your character you will fascinate people by being authentically yourself because real respect comes from authenticity you might like to imagine that much has changed many comes to gender roles but in thinking so you would be greatly mistaken the specific details of gender roles might fluctuate according to culture and time period but the pattern is essentially the same we are all born as complete beings with many sides to us we have some qualities of the opposite sex both genetically and from the influence of the parent of the other gender our character has natural depths and dimensions to it when it comes to boys studies have shown that an early age they have high degrees of empathy and sensitivity similarly girls also have an adventurous and exploratory spirit that is natural to them they have powerful wills which they like to exert in transforming their environment but as these children grow older they have to present to the world a consistent identity they have to play certain roles and live up to certain expectations for these purposes they trim off natural qualities in their character boys lose their rich range of emotions and in the struggle to get ahead repress their natural empathy girls have to sacrifice their assertive sides they are supposed to be nice smiling differential and always considering other people's feelings before their own a woman can be a boss but she must be tender pliant and never too aggressive your task is to let go of the rigidity that takes hold of you as you over identify with the expected gender role great power lies in exploring the middle range between the masculine and the feminine by embracing both masculine and feminine sides of your character you can not only play against people's expectations but also you can relate better to the opposite gender in primitive cultures around the world the wisest man or woman in the tribe was the shaman the healer who could communicate with the spiritual world the male shaman had an inner woman whom he closely listened to and who guided him the female shaman had the inner man the shamans power came from the depth of their communication with this inner figure which was experienced as a real man or a woman from the dinner the shaman figure reflects a profound psychological truth that our most primitive ancestors had access to let us say there are feminine and masculine styles when it comes to thinking taking action learning from experience and relating to other people let's take a closer look and differentiate between these two styles masculine thinking is more logical and tends to separate phenomenon from one another in order to categorize them it wants to take things apart like a machine and analyze the separate parts that made up the whole it's thought process is linear and it prefers to look at things from the outside with emotional detachment female thinking on the other hand is much more intuitive and creative it likes to focus on the whole and how the parts connect to one another it always meditates on looking for connection between different aspects of something this form of thinking leads to insights when the hidden connections between things suddenly become visible in flashes for too long the masculine style has been seen as more rational and scientific but this does not reflect the reality all of the greatest scientists in the history have displayed a powerful mix of the masculine and the feminine styles of thinking in business Warren Buffett is a good example of someone who blends both of the two styles when it comes to taking action the masculine tendency is to move forward explore the situation then attack and vanquish if there are obstacles in the way it will try to push through them this desire is aptly expressed by the ancient military leader Hannibal when he says I will either find a way or make away it derives pleasure from staying on the offensive and taking risks the feminine style of taking action on the other hand is not hasty and aggressive when confronted with a problem the feminine style often prefers to first withdraw from the image situation and contemplate on the options more deeply it will often look for ways to avoid the conflict to smooth out the relations and to win without having to go to battle sometimes the best action is non action letting the enemy hang itself by its own aggressiveness [Music] in general the masculine energy is not very good at self-assessment and learning a man's sense of self is deeply tied to their success and he often does not like to look inward if he fails this makes it difficult to learn from failures similarly if there is a problem the masculine style is to try to figure it out on his own this is because asking for help is a sign of weakness for the masculine energy men will overestimate their abilities and display confidence in their skills for the feminine energy the case is opposite when there is failure they tend to blame themselves and look inward if there is success they are more prone to look at the role of others in helping them they find it easy to ask for assistance and they do not see this as a sign of personal inadequacy they often tend to underestimate their skills and are less prone to the grandiose confidence that often fuels men [Music] just like the male chimpanzees the masculine style would either aspire to be a leader or try to gain power by being the most loyal follower men form hierarchies they are highly conscious of their place in the group if they are leaders they will tend to use some element of fear to keep the group cohesive the masculine style of leadership is to identify clear goals and to reach them it puts emphasis on results no matter how they are achieved the feminine style is more about maintaining the group spirit and keeping the relationships smooth with fewer differences among individuals it is more impact attic considering the feelings of each member and trying to involve them more in the decision-making process results are important but the way they are achieved which is the process is equally important these styles have been reflected in the behavior of men and women for thousands of years some are related to physiological differences while others stem mostly from the culture there are men who have more feminine styles and women who have more masculine styles but almost all of us are imbalanced to either one side or to the other our task is to open ourselves up to the opposite to lose our rigidity and become more aware and influencer [Music] unlike animals who have their instincts to guide them past dangers we humans have to rely upon our conscious decisions we do the best we can when it comes to our career path and handling the inevitable setbacks in life but in the back of our minds we can sense an overall lack of direction as we are pulled this way and that way by our moods and by the opinions of others the way to avoid such a fate is to develop a sense of purpose discovering our calling in life and using such knowledge to guide us in our decisions [Music] he who has a via to live can bear with almost any hell as soon as our schooling ends we suddenly find ourselves thrown into the work world where people can be ruthless and the competition is fierce we find ourselves on our own with little or no life experience to rely upon and we have to make decisions and choices that will affect our entire future all by ourselves some of us excited by all the changes actually embrace this new order we are young and full of energy the opportunities offered by the digital world dazzles us we can experiment try many different jobs and have many different relationships and adventures however many of us react the opposite way frightened of the chaos we quickly opt for a career that is practical and lucrative hoping that it will give us a safe future both paths tend to lead to some problems further down the road in the first case when we try so many things out we never really develop solid skills in one particular area we find it hard to focus on a specific activity for too long because we are so used to fluttering around and distracting ourselves which in turn makes it even harder to learn new skills if we want to because of this our career possibilities begin to narrow and we become trapped into moving from one job to another in the second case the career we committed to in our twenties begins to feel lifeless in our 30s we chose it for practical purposes and it had little connection to what we actually found in trusting in our life it begins to feel like just a job our minds disengage from the work which often leads to a midlife crisis the problem is simple by nature we humans crave a sense of direction and a higher purpose it is the path taken by the greatest achievers to the advancement of human culture and we only have to be able to see the path to take it every single person on this planet has a unique DNA and with that unique DNA comes unique skills and personality that every single person has striving to connect to this uniqueness and cultivated provides us a path to follow which is an internal guidance system through life once you commit yourself to developing or strengthening your sense of purpose then the hard work begins the following five strategies will help you move past the obstacles discover your calling in life you begin this strategy by looking for signs of primal inclinations in your earliest years because at that age they are often the clearest some people can easily remember such early indications but for many of us it requires some introspection and some deep digging you are looking for moments in which you were unusually fascinated by a particular subject or activity use resistance and negative Spurs the key to success in any field is first developing skills in various areas which you can later combine in unique and creative ways but the process of doing so is tedious and painful as you become aware of your limitations and relative lack of skills most people consciously or unconsciously seek to avoid pain and any form of adversity they try to put themselves in places where they will face less criticism and minimize their chances of failure you choose to move in the opposite direction you want to embrace negative experiences limitations and even pain as the means of building up your skill levels and sharpening your sense of purpose absorb purposeful energy the humans are extremely susceptible to the moves and energy of other people for this reason you want to avoid too much contact with those who have a low or false sense of purpose on the other hand you always want to find and associate with those who have a higher sense of this could be the perfect mentor teacher or partner on a project such people will tend to bring out the best in you and you will find it easier and refreshing to receive their criticisms create a ladder of descending goals operating with long-term goals will bring you tremendous clarity and resolve these goals like a project or business to create can be relatively ambitious the problem however is that they will also tend to generate anxiety as you look at all you have to do to reach them from the present point to manage such anxiety you must create a ladder of smaller goals along the way reaching down to the present such objectives get simple the further down the ladder you go and you can achieve them in a relatively short timeframe giving you moments of satisfaction and a sense of progress always break tasks into smaller bites each day or week you must have micro goals this will help you focus and avoid entanglements that will base your energy at the same time you want to continually remind yourself of the larger goal so that you can avoid losing track of it or getting too detail-oriented lose yourself in the work the greatest difficulty you will face in maintaining a consistent sense of purpose is the level of commitment that is required over time and the sacrifices that go with this you have to handle many moments of frustration and failure along with the endless temptations for more immediate pleasures the benefits are often not immediately apparent and as the years pile up you can face burnout to offset this you need to have moments of flow in which your mind becomes deeply immersed in the world when this happens you experience feelings of profound calmness and joy these are called peak experiences and once you have them you are forever changed you will do anything to repeat them and the immediate pleasures the world offers will pale in comparison the steps that I have explained are a form of religious devotion to your life's work such devotion will eventually bring you moments in which you will feel United with the work itself and the type of ecstasy that is impossible to verbalize until you have experienced [Music] everyone likes to think that there are independent beings with their own independent way of thinking but if we take a closer look we realize that most of our knowledge and beliefs comes from sources other than us now what are these sources these sources are different groups that we are and have been a part of starting from our family in which we were born then our friends classmates colleagues and so on we need to understand and accept this need to belong as a part of human nature only then we would be able to truly think for ourselves and protect us from negative influences the thing about the group effect is that it is intoxicating and we often lose ourselves our independent way of thinking and our rationality when influenced by these combined emotions that come in a group setting let us say we find ourselves in a large audience for a concert or a sporting event at a certain point waves of excitement anger or joy move through us which is also shared by thousands of others these emotions rise in us automatically and we cannot experience this when we are alone or with just a few people in this larger group setting we might be led to say or do things we would never have said or done on our own some of the best examples of this can be political gatherings and even when we are with our friends which can make us do extremely stupid or harmful things due to peer pressure [Music] the combined force that compels us to do certain things in a group setting can be called the social force this force is neither positive or negative it is simply a physiological part of our nature if we remain unaware of this force can drag us down subjecting us to combined emotions of all the people involved in the group there is strength in numbers and so these combined emotions have huge intensity which can totally limit our ability to think independently therefore whenever we are in a group setting we must learn and develop the skill to step back and think about all the values agendas and emotions from an outside perspective the good thing about social force is that it can also be used and shaped for positive purposes for example together emotional strength and motivation for a high-level cooperation or for an important cause and even empathy for other people this is the upward pole which we experience when we create something together in a group [Music] [Music] human beings are a social animal since the dawn of civilization people have been living and working in groups and so due to the social nature we have always had leaders in every group who led the group towards its objective in any group the more better and able individuals who have the ability to lead the pack and have a solid vision for the group often become leaders although styles of leadership change with times one constant remains people are always doubtful of those in power they want to be led but also want to feel free they want to be protected and enjoy prosperity without making any sacrifices in essence they both worship the king and want to kill him in cases when you are the leader of a group people are continually prepared to turn on you the moment you seem weak or experience a setback also you should not imagine that you can gain their loyalty by seeming to be their equal or their friend although you should be humble but if you overdo it people will doubt your strength they can also become suspicious of your motives and as a result they will respond with hidden contempt Authority is a delicate art of creating the appearance of power legitimacy and fairness while getting people to identify with you as a leader who is in their service to lead effectively you must master this art from early on in your life once you have gained people's trust they will stand by you as their leader no matter what the circumstances are remember that the essence of authority is that people willingly follow your lead they choose to add her to your words advice and also your wisdom at times you may have to use inspiring speeches force rewards and punishments but the less your need of such devices the greater your authority use the following to establish your authority authenticity the authority you establish must emerge naturally from your character that is from the particular strengths you possess the attitude instead of focusing on yourself focus on the group its needs its purpose and how other people perceive you as a leader do they respect you or not the vision your goal as a leader is to show direction to the group you have an eagle eye and know what the goals and objectives are and how they are going to be achieved the tone as a leader you must set the highest standards for yourself you are consistent and accountable and you work harder than anyone else in the group the aura you are never too predictable this not only makes it as fearful of you but also gives you the ability to fascinate them while keeping them engaged the value you always appear to give never to take there is always something valuable to be gained by operating under your leadership the adaptability you are consistent and quite conventional but you understand that the times are always changing and you are not afraid to renew yourself and the group by embracing these qualities we can make sure that we develop true leadership skills also an important thing to understand is that we all are leaders in one calling or another and so we can bring true prosperity to any group that we may lead even our families [Music] deep down we all feel the pressure to be nice humble and politically correct and this pressure comes from a number of sources including our culture but despite all this human aggression which is a basic tendency in all of us keeps pushing its way out through different ways which may be direct or indirect the thing that we all need to understand is that this aggression is a basic human nature that is constantly seeking different ways for its expression no matter how nice are agreeable someone may seem they definitely have desires of asserting themselves and their message although these desires may not be apparent you can be very sure that they are lurking somewhere beneath the friendly appearance human beings have different needs and desires and one of the most significant desire is the need for power and self-expression from early childhood we learn different ways to get our parents to agree with us or give us what we wanted however many times we were not successful and the result was quite simple this made us resentful and brought out our inner aggression we throw tantrums and showed other aggressive or passive aggressive behaviors to get what we want as we grow older this became a lifelong pattern whenever we didn't get something we wanted or things didn't go the way we wanted them to we turned to these aggressive tendencies to come to our aid therefore we need to understand our aggressive tendencies and also the aggressive tendencies of other people by doing this we can not only turn our aggressive nature into something positive but also we can save ourselves from a lot of trouble that can come from other people's hostile tendencies the aggression inside each one of us can be used in a number of good ways that can help attract success prosperity and overall happiness in our lives instead of being chronically aggressive passive aggressive or repressed we can make this energy focused and rational we can become more bold more integrated and more authentic the following are four potentially positive elements of this aggressive energy ambition do not suppress your wildest dreams but instead nurture them and take action towards them using the aid of your aggressive energy persistence being persistent requires a lot of energy but if you want something real bad the passion and aggression can help you stay persistent despite negative results and failures fearlessness people are born absolutely fearless but as they grow they develop different fears due to different setbacks use your aggressive energy to stand up for yourself and becoming more fearless step by step anger whereas toxic anger compels ignorant people to release it on some wake enemy or a scapegoat healthy anger can inspire us to fight injustice and stand up for a noble cause you can use aggressive energy to develop such healthy anger the problem has never been that we humans are assertive and aggressive that would be to make a problem of our own nature the real problem is that most people never harness this energy for positive purposes and so we must focus on doing just that instead of trying to repress it [Music] [Music] we like to imagine ourselves in control of our fate consciously planning the course of our lives as best that we can but we are largely unaware of how deeply our emotions dominate us they make us fear towards ideas that suit our ego they make us look for evidence that confirms what we've already want to believe they make us see what we want to see depending on our mood and this disconnect from reality is the source of the bad decisions and the negative patterns that haunt our life rationality is the ability to counteract these emotional effects to think instead of react to open our mind to what is really happening as opposed to what you're feeling it does not come naturally it is a power that we must cultivate but in doing so we realize our greatest potential when you analyze your feelings you realize that most of the times they are not justified and they lose their significance under scrutiny it is better to base all of your decisions on one thing one greater go around which all of your rationality may revolve this will help you avoid the ego trap that RINs people's rational way of thinking look for those emotions that are continually infecting your ideas and decisions learn to question yourself why this anger or resentment where does this incessant need for attention game from under such scrutiny your emotions will lose their hold on you you will begin to think for yourself instead of reacting to what others give you like an athlete continually getting stronger through training your mind will become more flexible and resilient clear and calm you will see answers and creative solutions that no one else can envision the first step towards becoming rational is to understand our fundamental irrationality the following steps will help you begin on the path towards being a more rational person emotions are continually affecting our thought processes and decisions below the level of our awareness and the most common emotion of them all is the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain our thoughts almost inevitably revolve around this desire we simply recoil from entertaining ideas that are unpleasant or painful to us we imagine we are looking for the truth or being realistic when in fact we are holding on to ideas that bring a release from tension and soothe our egos making us feel superior this pleasure principle in thinking is the main source of all of our mental biases it is best to search and see how these BS is continually operate inside you as well as learn how to identify such irrationality in others to hold an idea and to convince ourselves that we arrived at it rationally we go in search of evidence to support our view what could be more objective or scientific but because of the pleasure principle and its unconscious influence we managed to find the evidence that confirms what we already want to believe we hold on to an idea that is secretly pleasing to us but deep inside we might have some doubts as to its truth and so we go an extra mile to convince ourselves to fully believe in it and to loudly contradict anyone who challenges us how can our idea not be true if it brings out in a such energy to defend it that's perhaps what we tell ourselves this is most clearly revealed in our relationships to leaders if they express an opinion with heated words and gestures and a deep well of conviction it must mean they have examined the idea carefully to express it with such certainty those on the other hand who Stone is more hesitant reveal weakness and self-doubt we assume that they are lying or they're unaware but that may not be true we see people not as they are but as they appeared to us and these appearances are usually misleading first people have trained themselves in social situations to present the front that is appropriate and that will be judged positively we are social animals by nature the feeling of isolation of difference from the group is depressing and terrifying we experience tremendous relief when we find others who think the same as we do in fact we are motivated to take up ideas and opinions because they bring us this relief we are unaware of this poll and so imagine we have come to certain ideas completely on our own but in reality those ideas are someone else's ideas mistakes and failures elicits the need to explain we want to learn the lesson and not repeat the experience but in truth we do not like to look too closely at what we did our introspection is limited our natural response is to blame others circumstances are a momentary lapse of judgment the reason for this PS is that it is often too painful to look at our own mistakes it calls into question our feelings of superiority it pokes at our ego I'm different I am more rational than others more ethical as well he would say the statement to people in conversation it sounds arrogant but in numerous opinion polls and studies when people were asked to compare themselves with others they would generally express a variation of this it's the equivalent of an optical illusion we cannot seem to see our faults and irrationalities only those of others low-grade emotions continually affect our thinking and they originate from our own impulses for instance the desire for pleasing and comforting thoughts high-grade emotion however comes at certain moments which is an explosive pitch and is generally sparked by something external for example a person who gets under our skin or particular circumstances the level of arousal is higher and our attention is captured completely the more we think about the emotion the stronger it gets which makes us focus on it even more our minds tunnel into the emotion and everything reminds us of our anger or excitement as a result we become reactive because we are unable to bear the tension this spring's high-grade emotion usually culminates in some rash action with disastrous consequences it is best to be aware of these factors so that you can stop the mind from tunneling and prevent the releasing action that you will always come to regret you should also be aware of high-grade irrationality in others either get out of their way or help bring them back to reality be aware of the following factors in early childhood we were at our most sensitive and vulnerable our relationship to our parents had a much greater impact on us the further back we go in time these vulnerabilities and wounds remain buried deep within our minds sometimes we try to repress the memory of these influences especially if they happen to be negative later in life a person or event will trigger a memory of this positive or negative experience and with it a release of powerful chemicals or hormones associated in the memory for example a young man who had a distant narcissistic mother as a child had experienced her coldness as abandonment and to be abandoned must mean he was somehow unworthy of her love this pattern can repeat itself for the rest of his life especially in his romantic encounters without him being aware of it sudden success or winnings can be very dangerous when gains come quickly return to the side of the basic wisdom that for to success to really last it must come through hard work we do not take into account the role that luck often plays in such sudden gains we try again and again to recapture that high from winning that money or attention we acquire feelings of grandiosity unexpected loss or a string of losses equally create irrational reactions we imagine that we are cursed with bad luck and that this will go on indefinitely we become fearful and hesitant which will often lead to more mistakes or failures the people around you generally appear sane and in control of their lives but put any of them in stressful circumstances with the pressure rising and you will see a different reality the cool mask of self control comes off they certainly lash out in anger reveal a paranoid streak and become hypersensitive and often petty under stress or any threat the most primitive parts of the brain are aroused and engaged overwhelming people's reasoning powers stress or tension can reveal flaws in people that they have carefully concealed from the view it is often wise to observe people in such moments precisely as a way to judge their true character there are people in the world who by their nature tend to trigger powerful emotions in almost everyone they encounter these emotions range from the extremes of love hatred confidence and mistrust some examples in history would include King David in the Bible Julius Caesar in ancient Rome Georg Stanton during the French Revolution and del Clinton these types have a degree of charisma they have the ability to eloquently express the emotions they are feeling which inevitably steers parallel emotions in other people but some of them can also be quite narcissistic they project their internal drama and troubles outward catching other people up in the turmoil they create this leads to profound feelings of action and some and repulsion in others also they try to cast a larger-than-life image a mythic intimidating quality but in fact they are all too human full of the same insecurities and weaknesses that we all possess try to recognize these very human traits and destroy the myth when we are in a group of a large enough size we become emotionally vulnerable notice yourself and others at a sporting event a concert or religious or political gathering or somewhere like that it is possible to not feel yourself caught up in the collective emotions your heart beats faster tears of joy or sadness come more readily mainly two factors should give us hope to bring out our rational self first is the existence of rational people throughout history and in every culture people like Barry Cole's Leonardo da Vinci Abraham Lincoln Warren Buffett and so on these people with the progress and accomplishments through the aid of their rationality are a perfect source of inspiration the second factor is that we all have at some point in our lives experience greater moments of rationality we had a project to get done perhaps with a deadline and to get results we had to be exceptionally practical the following strategies will help you to bring out the rational self know yourself thoroughly the emotional self thrives on ignorant the moment you are aware of how it operates and dominates you is the moment it loses its hold on you and can be tamed examine your emotions to their roots figure out what is the underlying root of your emotion such as extreme anger being aware of the root will enable you to figure a way out increase your reaction time give yourself time to step back and think rationally before figuring out the perfect response to something accept people as facts everyone is different you cannot change people let go of that desire and get to know what makes them tick find the optimal balance of thinking and emotion emotions are the horse and you're thinking is the rider riding the horse find the balance and learn to control the horse love the rational rationality is not painful in fact it brings control joy and satisfaction in life I would like to end this by saying that as long as there are humans the irrational will find its voices and means of spreading rationality is something to be acquired by individuals not by mass movements or technological progress feeling superior and beyond it is a sure sign that the irrational is at work [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music]

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Keywords: the laws of human nature, robert greene the laws of human nature, the laws of human nature robert greene, robert greene books, robert greene, robert greene laws of human nature, robert greene new book, books like 48 laws of power, The laws of human nature audiobook, audiobooks, free audiobooks, robert greene audiobooks, the laws of human nature by robert greene animated summary, the laws of human nature robert greene full book summary

Id: hyUhuQfQAqQ

Length: 98min 36sec (5916 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 01 2019