The KEY PRINCIPLES For Building A Life Of WEALTH & SUCCESS | Ray Dalio

my son in 2014 gave me a book by joseph campbell called hero of thousand faces and basically he described that you know everybody crashes and then you're faced with that crash and you either have an epiphany or you don't now you either walk off the field and say hey i don't want to do this anymore and you give up on that going after your audacious goals also i'm in the investment management business that you have to bet against the consensus and you have to bet against the consensus and be right or as an entrepreneur i'm an entrepreneur i had to bet against the consensus and be right and so to gain that humility was the the thing so you either get off the field or you learn [Music] hey everybody today's episode is brought to you by our very own impact theory university enjoy the episode hey everyone welcome to impact theory today's guest is a number one new york times best-selling author and the founder of the most successful hedge fund of all time he's returned more to his investors than anyone else in this space which would be amazing under any circumstance but becomes even more dazzling when you consider the fact that he started out as just another middle-class kid from long island he struggled in high school barely got into college but over the course of one of the most storied investment careers in history he turned himself into one of the 100 wealthiest people on planet earth with roughly 160 billion dollars under management fortune magazine named his company bridgewater one of the top five most influential private companies in the u.s and time magazine named him personally as one of the 100 most influential people alive he's been called the da vinci of investing and given his accurate prediction of the 2008 financial crisis it is not hard to understand why using principles that he'd established over decades he and his team were able to recognize the coming implosion and position his clients to not only weather the storm but to come out far better because of it now in a new phase in his life and armed with the conviction that there's nothing inherently special about him and that his methods can be adopted by anyone he is embarked on a mission of both financial and ideological philanthropy that has made him one of the most sought after voices in business leadership so please help me in welcoming the author of principles and big debt crises the legendary ray dalio hey tom what's up man how are you doing good to see you thank you so much for being here thanks for dude your book we stalked you so that that thanks is uh definitely not necessary man what you have done with your ideas and the fact that you're taking the time to put them out there is is absolutely transformative in the way that i think you were hoping they would be and as somebody who when your book came out i was in the middle of building my first big company and we had raced to 3 000 employees over the span of five years and it was it was dizzying to say the least and when i read the book it made me realize that for the first time in my life i'd really had a failure of imagination it simply didn't cross my mind that you could expect a group that large to be radically transparent with each other and to have radical candor as a core part of the company and so reading the book it was sort of my if you know roger bannister in the four minute mile was like until you know that it can happen it's you just fail to even consider it as an option and so reading what you've done and the kind of culture that you've built and the different questions that you ask was really transformative so thank you for all of that i'd say back at you because like you have your journey we're just talking about your journey and the same things happen over and over again right and so if we go back to the themes and that's really cool and what's also very cool for me is the fact that you know like we're moving ahead and we're playing with literally the the tools and you know how to do that and it's so great because you know i'm 70 years old and the thing that i want more than anything is to pass along with those things that have been helpful and so it's cool i'm thank you for having me here dude absolutely so talk me briefly you've talked about this so we don't have to go into a lot of detail but if you can't just super fast give us the thumbnail of how you realize that you couldn't trust that you were always right which was i think a pretty powerful insight yeah well um i guess like you you know you you come along and how do you find out you get whacked in the head you get whacked in the head enough times and you say i could be wrong and how do you know i'm right in my case the the really big case was that in um 1980 81 i had calculated that american banks had lent a lot more money to countries that would not be able to pay the debt back a lot of money banking crisis and that was very controversial point of view so i mean i'm talking about wow a big thing happening and then um so it got reported and then mexico defaulted on its desk in august 1982 and i thought that we're now going to go into an economic crisis because a number of the other countries followed and that was transpiring in that way and i started my business since 75 by the way and at 82 i think we had like eight people and we loved each other and we were doing that thing but i um i couldn't have been more wrong it was the exact bottom in the stock market so i was very publicly wrong and even more painfully had to let go those people and i was so broke that i had to borrow four thousand dollars from my dad to help to pay for family bills i mean it was so is painful but you you know okay now you've got a baseball bat to the head and how many does it take and then you think okay how do i know i'm right how do i know i'm right so i was very audacious you know going after my goals and whatever my opinion i didn't want to lose that but you know now you're faced with the choice you know like the way i look at it is i want a great life how do i have the greatest life but i can have the risk of being wrong and then everything changed because i figured it out sort of like you did you talk about the two u's which i think is extraordinarily powerful i'd love for you to define that and then also knowing that one of those uses is the emotional sort of ego side of you how did you get out of your own way like that when you say there's nothing really extraordinary about you i will say that that ability is rare in and of itself and so that you could you self-identified saying oh my god even now when i look back on me testifying before congress i am shocked at how arrogant i was so to go from that to actually welcome the humility and make the change i'd love to know how you did that um you know my son in 2014 gave me a book by joseph campbell called hero of a thousand faces and basically he described that these things happen you know everybody crashes and then you're faced with that crash and you either have an epiphany or you don't now you either walk off the field and say hey i don't want to do this anymore and you give up on that going after your audacious goals or you gain really humility you you know how do you feel that you're going to be wrong and so i think then that whole notion is um you know to come back with the uh finding the smartest people i could find who disagree with me also i'm in the investment management business that you have to bet against the consensus otherwise you can't make money because it's in the price and you have to bet against the consensus and be right or as an entrepreneur i'm an entrepreneur i had to bet against the consensus and be right and so to gain that humility was the the thing so you either get off the field or you learn right and so uh that was the process so i want to get back to the two use in a second but were you already meditating by this point yeah and do you think that meditation gave you the ability to get out from under the control of your emotions yes meditation was fantastic meditation is the biggest gift that i can give anyone and i would say more than anything it is whatever reason for success i've had uh because it allows one on back to the two yews i'll clarify what i mean is that in your mind that we think what do you want and the reality is when you look at the neuroscience and psychology that there are different parts of your brain that want different things and so in the simplest sense there is the logical part of the brain that you're conscious of it's called the conscious and you think you're being logical and you want to make those decisions and then there's the subliminal below the limbic system part of the brain which is the emotional and it's not as conscious to you but it has more of an influence on you than really the logical one and so they're not aligned and so when you're experiencing that pain or let's say the ego right there were two main things you got an ego barrier and a blind spot barrier if you can get past your ego barrier and you get past your blind spot barrier you can accomplish anything because you'll also know that you don't have to do everything to you have to figure it out yourself you can take in from other people the different ways to approach things in the best possible way and so the realization that we all are really struggling with ourselves and to think which are which is in control meditation helps to deal with the alignment of those two things because both are valuable in other words intuition imagination the things we really love come from our subliminal uses right our needs whatever they may be they come from here that's subliminal they may be valuable they may be scared damaging you don't know the difference and so when they come up and you're looking at those with your logical mind and you can align those things you're probably in good shape if you can do that that alignment between the subliminal and the logical and you can do that with other people so that you can triangulate with other people and say does that make sense and get alignment that alignment is the path to the future because you only have to know what the best things to do are you don't have to have them all come up from your head and for god's sakes don't be overly opinionated because just because you have that opinion it doesn't mean it's true so that's where the two use and the alignment really is so important all right i want to talk about the process of getting those two things aligned tying this into meditation so in my own experience meditation is a a stillness it's a quiet from the chatter of the mind and more maybe profoundly than that i can feel my brain shifts into a different gear so maybe it's less linear thinking it's more lateral i'm making connections that i might not otherwise make so is it in in that still in that quiet where you're able to look at your what's bubbling up from beneath the limbic system your your emotional life you're able to look at that without judgment and then able to say okay but this is what i'm trying to do sort of consciously these are my plans and all of that and now how do i are you altering either of them or are you beginning to say i need to understand if this is a useful emotional driver or a destructive emotional driver like what is that process i think you describe it very well um and when you go deeper by the way you go literally into your subconscious so you're creating a connection when you transcend i do transcendental meditation when you transcend i i'm not conscious and i'm not unconscious i am in the subconscious i i'm not aware but if somebody make a little noise like that boom i would i would so it's not like being asleep and that's also by the way where creativity comes from it you know it's like you go take a hot shower and a great idea comes not because you're muscling it so when you're having that then um you're calm and your natural state and then these things bubble up and it helps that alignment so you say uh okay let me look go above myself let me let me go above myself and look at myself within the context of my circumstances what is around me how does that work how does reality work okay if i do this what are the consequences and so the going above it and just saying i'm responsible for my decisions my life and how do i navigate the things the things there that i can pull the levers up to who do i get how do i do how do i deal with those and going above it in that calm way is really what it's about and when you do it well with others so you triangulate that's why i have the radical truthfulness and the radical transparency when you have that radical truthfulness and the radical transparency you're triangulating with others you're going above it with them and you're just looking at that circumstance and you say okay well we're in the same goal or are we and then how do i navigate those so that we get to where we want to go because if you're forming your company you've got your company we're on the same mission together right so now let's all go above ourselves what are your strengths and weaknesses how do we get at what's true and how do we do that with transparency and that's it yeah oh man so so powerful and putting into action i'm really seeing exactly how it begins to allow and i think truth is probably the what you call hyper realism the getting to such an objective look at what is true um and going back to sort of an objective look at that emotional state which i think is where a lot of people struggle one of the biggest and most profound probably the only lightning rod moment in my life where it's like whoa my life can be divided into before that literal like instantaneous recognition and after everything is completely different and that was the first time where i realized that i was being driven by something that i had not yet recognized which was i was telling everybody that i wanted to generate wealth in my life but i was acting like i just wanted people to tell me that i was smart and so the the like friction between those like hit this collision and so at the time i was just a copywriter and the guys who would later become my partners at the time were my employers and we got this huge fight over something stupid and i was arguing an argument arguing for my idea i needed my idea to win because i had they were just so much farther ahead than me they were smarter than me and that they can process data faster and that that's just true like they could think through things more rapidly than i could so i was like i have an inferiority complex over how fast they think and they're like 15 years ahead of me as entrepreneurs so i just always feel like a buffoon and so i'm starting to really feel badly about myself and so i'm arguing for this dumb idea arguing arguing arguing and then finally i wear them down and they agree and i was like [ __ ] i know it's the wrong idea like there's a voice in my head screaming you know this is a stupid idea stop arguing for it but i needed to win and so when they left i thought okay whoa what what's real i just need to know what's real no judgment on me if what you want is to get rich you have to change the way that you're acting immediately but if what you really want is to just feel smart you need to leave this company because butting heads with them every day and feeling inferior is never going to get you there and so in that i realized wait there's actually a third option where i could value myself entirely for learning and if i switched my identity over from being smart being right being good being worthy to just i learned that's what i do then everything will change and it did literally like that like i remember that day so clearly so to me what you're describing is just another one of those right go go deeper on that concept the notion that everything loops that history repeats because i think people get it from like a u.s history class but they don't necessarily understand it in their own life there's practically nothing that hasn't happened before really if you look at the theme so when i take your your particular case i can digress into it but i i won't i'll come back to that in in a second almost everything that happens has happened many many times before and just like i described there's the hero's journey and there's this and that there's that particular path and the whole thing happens over and over again so my reaction um to what you're saying is um yup that's absolutely right that's a winning strategy so if you step back from that and you write okay what happened to you what what happened to you is what we're talking about you went above yourself okay not so you exemplify it you okay here are the things you went above yourself now you could have had the ego thing the big-o barrier okay the ego barrier is going to be the thing that's sort of going to kill you then by reconciling what your subliminal desires were okay i want to be judged as smart and then connecting that with your intellect and saying okay now intellect what is really going on here okay and then to be able to step out of that now you just did it alone but you could do it with others and it's even better and and so you figure out oh okay this is that here's what the choices are here's what how reality works and so i'm just saying you did what we were talking about right and if everybody if everybody gets that and really understands how to go do that the number the two big things is how do you get uh your alignment of your lower level you with your upper level you how do you get um past your ego and your blind spot we know what the ego barrier is like i got to be right or whatever it is or i'm not good at this the blind spot barrier is the realization that people actually see things different they see different things like somebody will see the big picture somebody will see the detail they'll focus on different things almost like a color spectrum type of thing and if you realize that you will see a part of that spectrum and other people will see the other part of the spectrum and so that you really need to when you go above yourself you really need to orchestrate all those ways of seeing because you are not just one of those people that's got to do it yourself your way of being the success is to go above it and be the orchestrator and know what you're good at and what you're not good at so it's almost like if you want your life to be successful you will not let yourself do certain things because you're just no good at them once you get that picture down then you can find the past wherever the paths are you're open-minded because you now you've given up your ego barrier and your blind spot barrier so your particular case just was another one of those yeah the concept of just another one of those i think is um it's bizarrely easy to miss in your book and so i want to linger on this point for a second and it's funny because people ask you this question all the time and you give the same answer you're so consistent and yet people don't spend the time that you spend so let me encapsulate uh you've done so well as an investor it's kind of crazy and so needless to say people are like all right what's the strategy and your answer is actually usually not specific your answer is understand the historical context understand the historical context and get smart people around you so you're not making decisions by yourself so the notion of it's another one of those is looking at investing looking at the human condition looking at your own life as this thing that has these repeating elements every dimension of every everything the way is another one of those and um so that's how you could if i can get people to think what i want to convey what that means and then i want to then understand how to think at the principal level because then life becomes so much easier because if you have the principle and what i mean by that is um like you could look at all the things that are coming at you and they're just the things coming at you if you instead think of each thing as being like a type of species think about as an like an animal species or something okay what one of those is it and how do i deal with those and you have your principle for dealing with those so you have the species coming in you have a principle that lines up with the species so now there's no guesswork or re-figuring it out i figure it's like um i don't know it's a type of snake that's coming at you but everything is another one of those so when you start to think about how do i deal with that how does reality work and how do i deal with those so the way it looks to me i'll speak figuratively to help to convey the image of what i mean by that maybe there is something like 50 different personality types i don't know what the exact number is and they are all living out the same scripts happen maybe they're just 50 different scripts and then through those you know maybe there's a certain x hundred things through time and it seems all confusing because we're looking at them bit bit by bit you know it's like you're in a blizzard a snowstorm and each of these bits come at you and so on if you can kind of step back and just say okay okay what one of those is it and it's happened before and it's happened to different people so let's say for example you have a kid and you think okay now i'm a kid and you could just sort of say okay now you're parenting but whatever it is you can sort of says hey it's happened before a million times and in that particular circumstances so when you realize everything happens over and over again pretty much for the same kind of reasons okay and you understand that and you can almost look at um who who's been through it before who knows how it works how do i best navigate that thing what are my principles for that then it's great the reason i discovered it accidentally i discovered this accidentally is because i got in the habit that i'd suggest you get into and other people get into and that is whenever you're in a situation where you're making a decision important decision just pause and write down what type of decision was it and why did i make that decision that way that's writing down your principles it's kind of your recipe for success and we could talk about it and then every time i'm in a situation i'll write down why did i make that decision and we could look at those criteria did that make sense to do that decision that way would you have different criteria and so on and you do that over a period of time okay and then you have your principles and then so they're just your reasons for making your decisions and what matters to you right when you do that so that's why i'm encouraging you because you're going through these and then you have found a path in life i viewed your story what you just told me is just another one of those now you keep doing it it'll become apparent to you how everything's another one of those because what will happen is the next time around you're going to find i don't know let's say you're firing somebody use that as an example you would say okay now i'm firing somebody again okay now let me just kind of reflect would i modify that principle and how would i do that and then okay now maybe you're firing somebody who's been with you for 10 years and you love and that's not the same as firing the son of a [ __ ] who you want to get rid of so then you refine that how should i deal with that one and that and why does it make sense because that reflection why does it make sense why does it make sense and really wanting truthfulness you you know not worried about being embarrassed making mistakes we're only on the struggle with all of you together is a good thing yeah so the how do you define a species like how do you begin to codify all this stuff and go because i i think it's all too easy to get lost in the well this isn't another one of those this isn't just firing somebody this is firing somebody that i love and so no there's you know this oh different it's simple because all you have to do really is to sort to say if you start to think everyone's another one and i was when i make a decision i just got to write down why i made the decision i don't care how you title it okay just write down okay uh okay what's what are your criteria make it write it down well you'll see that they're close cousins you know let's say if you're saying is it a different one because it's a close relationship that you've had for a long time or somebody is new okay well you'll see those two things are close together okay but it's another one of those things and it changes your way of seeing things okay it changes your perspective again i want to repeat because then life becomes easier because it's not all these bits and pieces okay it's okay it's another one of those it gives you an equanimity and like a ninja okay it's another one of these coming at me okay and how do i approach that and then you can have a conversation it's just reality how should you deal with that reality and if you do that then you think in a whole different way okay you just want to get to the best way to deal with your realities you've talked about how about 30 of the people cannot do radical candor be great for you to i call it radical transparency but whatever effects okay so radical transparency define what that is exactly and then what is it about that 30 like are they they can't get rid of the ego or what what is that it's just what you're talking about this the struggle is between themselves as you go into a conversation and and you're looking at that um um they find something radical transparency is saying super hard [ __ ] really direct nice and clear they're not good at this yes while simultaneously saying i don't know if that's true in other words if i say that i don't i don't think you're good at that i'm being honest but also who knows whether you're good at that so how do we then go from you think you're good at it i don't think you're good at it and how do we go through a process to find out together whether you're good at it or not how do we go okay that would be one of my key questions okay the best way to do it is you do it in an agreed upon way okay the idea is okay we say okay tom you're not so good at that i don't think okay and then we go through the how would we judge can we ask other people do we go through this test or that test how do we find out what's true because if you can find out what's true your life will be better like do you want to know what you're not good at if you know what you're not good at it's your life's no problem because it you don't even have to get good at it you just have to work with somebody who's good at what you're not good at right so there's a path forward when you get out of your head that you've got to do that so the only basic notion is when we're if we would have a relationship is if you and by the way it's non-hierarchical you could say hey ray i don't think you're very good at that and i'm i'm going to be the same way i put it in because i needed it because i i'm worried that i'm going to be wrong so then you come to me and you say i don't think it's very good well how do we find out in a non-ego constrained objective way whether i'm good at that or not do you actually lay out criteria like oh yeah we're gonna yeah you we will do yeah absolutely how do you come upon that criteria would you do this as a one-on-one would you do this in a group how do you begin to tease that stuff out um first of all in terms of the group um i like to make everything transparent so everybody could watch the same thing happening with anybody so you would do this in front of a large group of people no no i would say taping we do a lot of that radical transparency because that way people see is it fair is it a good process right so i like to do that discussion but anybody can do it with anybody right and so but i would like to have that conversation if it's like if if i don't think you are good at something and i am relevant to your life or vice versa we got to work it out we've got to figure that out together in all relationships in one way or another you have to find out how you're going to make decisions there are going to be agreements and disagreements and you have to have the art of thoughtful disagreement now people find their domains differently maybe somebody says okay i'll take care of these things and you take care of that i don't know some people you know the traditional household might say okay i'll take care of making the money out and the man goes out and he makes money in the world and then one woman says i'll take care of the kids we're not there anymore but each role i'm trying to say in some way you have to find out how to do the art of thoughtful disagreement it's it makes sense and then also knowing what's good what you're good at and what you're not good at it's a good thing to know what you're good at and what you're not good at right what do you do though like when you let's say you and your wife realize oh we actually have something that we disagree with how to do with the kids and that's high stakes if you do something wrong you could have a material impact on on their psyche and the way that they approach the world so there's sort of elevated stakes and there's just two of you unless you guys had a way of appealing to other people would it come down because you said don't worry so much about what the person's saying think about the process by which they got there yeah so i'm saying whenever there's a disagreement between two people that they can't get along on that they should pause and they should go above it and they should say how do we how should we deal with each other when that happens in other words what are our protocols for um working ourselves through that so that we can then move beyond that to make a decision and would a specific protocol in a marriage be something like if it has to do with the kids you have more believability than i do so therefore if we can't come to an agreement we'll go with your decision there are that could be one of the protocols the main thing i'm trying to convey is when people are ordinarily in an argument they just argue and they and and they don't know the ground rules they don't have a process in place so if you look above it and you come up with whatever your rules are it may be you could have domain it may be that you have a mutually agreed party that you would say okay let's plead our cases to and have them mediate it it could be a lot of different paths could exist to say ah i think that's a good path when we have a disagreement how we plead our cases and then move beyond it but you need to have the path and that's what i mean by principled level thinking go above it how should it be instead of you know this type of thing right we all need that in order to have successful relationships it's fundamental right when you got this and you're not going above it and saying why do you have this or how should this occur then you've got trouble now my question becomes what is it and and i know a lot of people watching are going to say okay i love this this sounds amazing but i work in an organization that doesn't do that so the people who tap out is a two-part question which is always dangerous the people who tap out and say i can't work at bridgewater this whole radical transparency thing freaks me out what is it that causes them to trip up because that i think is the thing people will encounter in other companies where this isn't a thing um so how do people watch out for that what what should they watch out for in people i can answer [Music] in the generals i'm going to parse your question in a way that i think will answer your question that will give a little bit clarity because there are two things going on when you're uh describing that because bridgewater is very much the opposite of a lot of companies meaning you could talk about anything you could talk about how we should be together you can say so so that's a culture where the person who has this struggle with that like uh where they can say hey i think you're a son of a [ __ ] or they could say that to me you could say anything you want and then we try to find out is it true and then we work ourselves through it so their challenge is almost the opposite of the other kind of challenge which is the case in which you're trying to but in all cases there is the notion of how are we going to be with each other and reaching that agreement so let's say you want to be a certain way with the people you're with like your wife it's the same path if you cannot sit down and have a conversation about how we're going to be with each other because they won't welcome it and that way of being is an unacceptable way of being for you and your development get the hell out of there okay but you have to be able to sit down and say how are we going to be with each other and will that be good for you and then will that be good for me and you got to be clear that's why culture is so important you know what kind of culture do i have in a culture in which i can have those conversations or am i going to be in a culture in which i can't i hear so many cases because now now because of i communicate with people on social media you know i put the principle there then we discuss each one of those principles and i so often run into people who say but i can't talk to my boss that way and i can't have this conversation and i can't do this and that and it's very simple thing like okay so we're going to do about it and what you know like if i can't talk to you and whatever and i'm going to not be able to even know what's true because i can't have the conversation i'm going to have a terribly a terrible life i'm having the life that i don't want i don't even know the direction i can't be in the mission with you and so i'm going to be in this terrible life now you have a choice do you want that terrible life to be smothered in that particular way but realize there's a world out there don't feel so trapped unless you really are trapped trapped trapped but most people aren't it's like it's like um you know too many fish in the sea there are a lot of people are married if the first one is not working out right and it really is fundamentally wrong okay move on and your job it's the same thing so decide okay where you want to go because those are the path own it what are you going to do about it you have to move on okay so either have a great relationship like you you and your wife or the same at work or move on what are some of the most um surprising principles that you've learned over the years things that really take people back well that life works almost the opposite than the way you believe it works that the things that you think are good are often bad for you can you give me an example oh it happens all the time this first order consequence versus the second order yeah like it feels good almost always or quite often the first order consequences of things like um i feels good it makes me happy i don't want to argue i don't want to deal with the challenges i want to avoid the pain that whole litany of things that you would say ah that's going to bring you a happy life kind of thing the second order consequences are more often the opposite than the first order consequences i mean just so i don't know the foods you eat the ones that taste good are the probably the ones that aren't the ones that you should be eating or something so now when you start to realize that life is almost a trick okay it's almost a trick okay are you gonna go for the first order consequences or the second order consequences or i don't i don't want to argue or i don't want to or the whole ego thing okay i want to feel good because i want to feel good about myself because i don't want to discuss whether i have those weaknesses on and on and on okay is radical truthfulness a good thing or a bad thing i look at this you know like i say oh look all we're doing is being truthful and transparent what's the problem with this like okay you're being truthful so but but and then people you ask them what's the problem or do you want to know what your weaknesses are and you ask them what's the problem okay it's always that that's not healthy so so many aspects of life are more actually the opposite convention like comfort it's comfortable well look life teaches you over and over again you want to get stronger okay it's not comfortable you want okay so stronger does not go with necessary comfortable pain okay pain plus reflection equals progress pain is a teacher you want to eliminate pain from your life you're going to have a better life no no no because it's given you messages okay so so many different things are the opposite of what we're taught and it goes down to even the education system okay you failed hey that's the beginning of a discovery process that's a good thing okay okay now how do i look at failure and learn from failure no you're stupid you failed how do people find out like their nature and do you think of us all as having a sort of true nature and then from that how do people decide on the paths of accomplishment or savoring and what to define those for people yeah there's there's a couple of concepts in there so i'll uh and they're related and uh uh but i'll possible um first of all on the nature it's really a self-discovery process discovering what you want discovering what you're like like you were describing your various cases where you're discovering what you like and then you go through that discovery and and the best way to do that is to want to do that right it takes an hour and it's a self-discovery thing and i yeah and and we've used others we've used myers-briggs team dimension workplace inventory and so other and then we move beyond that the main thing like is if you want self-discovery and then you then you'll find your ways of getting the self-discovery they'll appear all around you and yes you have your nature the thing that pulled don't be you know a round peg in a square hole find your nature what's going to flourish and make your you know that's why i said when you were talking about your development mind too make your passion and your work the same thing know what your nature is yes so i believe in terms of um that particular nature then we get to the particular of one of the big choices in life is savor life or um accomplish like we have a lot of choices in our lives and they're almost sort of mutually exclusive sometimes uh you know i just i want to go to the ball game and i want to watch movie and i want to do that and i just want to sit back and on a nice day and smell the roses okay simultaneously i want to change the world okay i want to change the world and i've got this or um the work life balance question and all of those we face those types of choices right so um it's really important to go above oneself and to reflect on that and also by the way to realize that the choices are not you're approaching the choice wrong when you often see it as kind of that trade-off because the truth is you can have a lot more life and you can have a lot more if you just know how to get more out of a minute how much do i get per per minute or how much do i get per hour do you have secrets on that because well there were there are a number of them in in here but and we could talk about them but the capacity to rather than we do all have to face our choices but to also realize that you can expand how much life you're going to get out of life and how at that range if you really do it well so there are those choices which are those choices and we face them and then you have to decide how to do them well give me a couple things that i can do to get more out of a minute first of all if you do make your passion and you work the same thing um then you're it's great right because your passion uh whatever it might be you're a painter or you're an entrepreneur or whatever that is and you find that more enjoyable than going to a ball game let's say then that's becomes a passionate thing that's one thing second to know how to work with people who can do things really well to get the most leverage out of people okay third how do you get yourself really what are the right work habits um you know anyway there's a whole bunch of those kinds of things where you how do i just just what you say how do i get it done without me doing it who's the best to do it and how do i get it oh you all of a sudden you open yourself to up to all different possibilities of how you can do that right no time i think tim ferriss wrote what the four-minute or the four-hour work week here work week or something like okay for our work week okay or okay there are approaches uh all those ways of being able to do that so i just gave you uh uh you know a few what are the elements of struggling well what does it mean to struggle well and how do we do it well first that that's why that phrase i use the phrase struggle well or tough love okay i put those words together because that exam exemplifies the fact that people don't think they go together and so if you start to realize struggling well is what you're will get you what you want okay rather than avoiding struggle that's what i'm trying to convey and so if you realize that then you will go to the struggle you won't be averse to the struggle and you will think and then under that in the book i wrote all these different ways of what it means to struggle well okay how you uh have thoughtful disagreement how you listen to maybe you're not good at that or not how you learn how you navigate all the ways through that so that you get stronger because if you don't struggle you won't get stronger okay so struggling well go above it you know okay struggling well a big element is to go above your struggle just like you did i you look back and say okay um am i struggling well rather than be in it and doing those things so there are a lot of different ways of how to struggle well but if you know okay that struggling is a good thing okay if you want to be strong it's a good thing i'll give you another example i have a saying if you worry you don't have to worry and if you don't worry you have to worry okay because what i mean is um if you're worrying about what can go wrong your chances are you will create the protections against that thing going wrong and therefore that's good and if you're not worrying about the things that are going to go wrong then now probably the things you never expect are going to come and hit you okay and so it sounds counter-intuitive if you worry you don't have to worry don't worry you better worry but what it means is that process of okay go to the thing go to it and enjoy it view these things as puzzles your personality will change you'll enjoy it okay because life is a puzzle it's it's a going through the jungle okay it's it's like that i'll i'll tell you a story yeah so i um i crash and i figure oh risk and reward go together you want to have a great life okay and you want to be safe at the same time they sound almost like mutually exclusive okay so i ha so i viewed it as okay i'm like sitting on one side of a jungle and that if i can get to the other side of the jungle safely i'll have a great life but uh okay but if i cross the jungle all sorts of things going to happen now what am i going to choose am i going to be on this side of the jungle and uh have just an ordinary life or am i going to have what i think is the best life possible but oh i can get bit and all those things and that's just the nature of life and then i and i said i have to it's my nature i have to have the best life i can have so i've got to go into the jungle now the question is how do i go into that jungle and be successful at that and i could tell you the answer the answer is first by worrying about what i don't see that i might be wrong with and to do it with people who see the things that i might not see and we are all doing and as a mission to get through that jungle well together and when i went through that jungle and we do that together the thing i found out which is so wonderful is i don't want to leave the jungle i don't want to get to the other side because i want to be with those people on that mission and that whole experiences becomes great so i found my way to be successful in the jungle to get to the other side and i found out what really is a great reward yeah that's extraordinary and and i that resonates with me so hard about really enjoying the struggle and a that's what's making you stronger b there's just something innate certainly with a certain personality type that that is what you're going to love is that fight and reaching your limits and pushing beyond them now i'm curious is there going to be a struggle for you in the third phase is there a new jungle that you're going into so you've to quickly define that for people you said in phase one you're dependent on others you're essentially a child and you're learning phase two you go to work other people become dependent on you and at the end of phase two you pass it off to other people you want them to thrive without you you give them the knowledge and the wherewithal and then in phase three you savor uh um you savor life um what's that going to look like for you it's the freedom to do whatever you want to do without obligations it is the realization that you shouldn't and it's not good to control anybody it's just savoring life that you have you can do anything you want you go from free you go to freedom um if there's a life arc yes there's a life arc and in um i i put together this book as a 600 page book i also then uh was asked by a lot of people to make a simpler version about principles for success into a little book and it'll be out or putting it out on the newsstands you actually could be pre-ordered on amazon and in that book i show a life arc and i track through what are the various phases of life and what what is the happiest phase what is the least happy phase and how does it work and i could take you through all that if you're interested i'm very interested oh okay well i don't depends how much time we got but uh okay that uh maybe the slightly nutshell okay this the nutshell version is you start off and it it is very very um it's it's a really enjoyable phase in life you start to have uh start to experience responsibilities like junior year okay do i get into the school i want to get into or whatever that's quite common college is great it's exploratory come out of college there's the most amount of freedom you have so that transition and school coming to now the new phase of life is totally different than the first phase of life because what it means is you don't follow any track all all through there you were following track in the definit and the direction of others and now you can live anywhere you want you can pick any job you want you can do anything you want you have total freedom there's no guide you can do anything you want you have that freedom and you move forward with that and then you start to make decisions and you start to take on obligations you might get married you might have kids you have jobs and you take on that and the least happy period in life by sir surveys of happiness is um 45 to 55 okay that because that then you have oh the work life balance and the obligations and too many things to do and uh and then maybe it's not as ideal as idyllic as you want you know ah you get into the marriage and whatever it is and then maybe it's not the marriage that you expected or the things that you're having and all of those things that's a difficult phase of life that middle part of that phase in life 45 to 55 and so on and then people transition it's interesting and opposite than what i would have expected that the happiest phase in life is um between uh 60 and 80. and and the you know the funny thing about it which is really funny um they ask people um um how good do you how good do you look um and they rate it the highest at that age now that's not true right but what happens is people at that point feel more comfortable with themselves in various ways when you make that transition you're eliminating all of those obligations you're eliminating all of those things you're giving yourself free i don't have to take care of it i savor oh my family is well without me or whatever is i've got the free time i could do whatever i want to do that doesn't mean life isn't exciting i find life very exciting i'm very vital i like those types of things but totally free of choice and you also savor the life arc you know even as people approach their death they approach the death in a whole different way than what death seems to be for people in their early years right oh you're a terrible terrible thing no it's just part of that particular process and how do you do that life arc and ah the curtain goes down you know and that is a different phase in life so um you know my responsibility now is to pass along what i'm doing like right i got plenty of money so i'm not working for money i'm giving away plenty of money because of because it helps and whatever and i'm just passing along i'll have that out life arc and and then i'm going to go quiet and i'm going and i savor life and yeah i could just i love nature so i go outside in nature okay that has a big effect on me i love it so that's what the third phase of my life looks like yeah man that the whole notion that you're living an arc that there are phases i think is really important and i i don't think enough people recognize that your frame of reference will change as you move from phase to phase and what was important to you in one phase will not be important to you in the next and to because i was thinking as you were talking i was like i personally don't believe that you can skip a phase i don't think that certainly not with my personality and probably not with yours it's not like you can skip the the accomplishment phase and go straight to the saver phase and i thought about that you know my wife and i made enough money we could buy an island and retire and and just be done with it and when i really thought about how that would make me feel didn't seem like it would make me feel the way that i want to feel because i still want to be in the jungle but as i hear you describe the savoring it's like yeah i get how my life could get to a point where that's what i would crave yeah you see what i'm hearing you do well is you're looking down on yourself again you're describing i'm looking at how i feel i'm looking at so you're connecting the the feelings with the thinking and i so that's that's true and in terms of no of course there's a sequence to that life what i did in the book which would be fun for people to do is i show all the different markers in in all the different phases and little boxes next to them and so what they can do is they can check where they are they know exactly where they are and then also by showing that i'm showing them what they can expect because if they're if you're here on that arc you can expect these things probably as you're going check check check those are the things now you can start to imagine where do i want to be in 10 years and also where are the people i love who i care about or what are their relationships where will they be where will my children be in 10 years and what will they go through or what will my parents where will they be in 10 years and how will that relate to how i want to have my life go because and it's the same thing that you'll see the same things happen over and over again all these lives are basically kind of the same thing so and when you put that in perspective and you step back and you look at it it's really great yeah when you were saying that i actually was getting a little emotional the notion of it's another one of those like the and i say that in a way designed to remove fear and uncertainty which is something that paralyzes so many people and i think one of the things you've really given certainly me and anybody who's really deeply come in contact with your work is that sense of there is that higher perspective that shows that you're not the first person to have a child you're not the first person to embarrass yourself publicly you're not the first person to go through whatever heartbreak or heartache that you're going through and when you can contextualize it then you get to another thing that you've said which of course um buddhists have been saying for a long time this too shall pass like whatever hardship you're in the middle of or whatever joy you're in the middle of it's it's all part of a cycle and so all of it will ease in the end and so yeah and your preferences will change realizing how it works is so great because like the thing you love at 10 is different than the thing you love at 20 or 30. we all can think what is the thing you loved at 20 or 30. [Music] that was fun and then you go to 40 and you go to 50 and they change and to realize how they will change and and you move beyond it's it's beautiful and it's helpful that's incredible ray i will be deeply saddened when you finish your time of getting all of this out into the world but i am beyond grateful that you've taken the time to do it certainly there was no obligation to do all this but it's just beyond extraordinary man thank you for all of it as somebody who uses your tools in this company my gratitude knows no bounds it they really are the most profound business tools i've ever encountered in my life i don't know how much you want us talking about exactly what we're using yet but just know that we're insanely grateful where can people connect with you in the remaining time that we have with the public ray dalio um i would recommend that if you're interested in what we're talking about um the best thing if you have an iphone um you can go on principles principles in action on the there's a free app and it gives the book and it actually takes people into what the culture is like and all that and it's free so that would be that's it's the book plus stuff it also has a an app there that helps you write down your own principles so the exercise that i was describing to you where in other words you're in it and now what's what one of those is it and what's my principle it's provided there so that you can capture principles and easily call them up anyway that would i think people find people helpful i'm also on um exchanging thoughts on social media we have um um what we call the principles of the day we talk about that particular principles a day we're doing that um in a number of places and i'll do that until i pass the tools along the tools are coming in january there'll be a number of those i imagine they'll be pressed along take something like a year and then i'll be done and we'll move past it it's incredible man all right thank you by the way thank you in the following way like it's such a joy to be passing these along really it's it's it's a joy and a relief and so to be able to do that and to see like the impact that's happening on you and your company and all of that is i mean that's all i want really and so that is a joy so i reciprocate i i'm glad you are deriving a lot of benefit and thank you for the joy in sharing with me that benefit that it's producing oh yes no problem what is the impact that you want to have on the world well right now all i want to do is just pass along what's been good for me for people who look at it take it or leave it and and that's it i don't have a goal of making something different than it should be okay but it if if it's like if you found a cure for cancer or you found something that was really valuable to you and you wouldn't want to have a die with you and though so just like you're deriving the benefit i just want to put it out there and let people decide for themselves whether it's valuable and that's all i want to do and whatever happens is okay right so i don't have to change the world whatever it will naturally find its place evolution will decide its value i love that all right guys he would want me to tell you that he's just another one of those that is definitely not how it feels if you haven't read his books read them i assure you they are something completely unique and different it's the way that he thinks and conceptualizes whether you want to be a better mom whether you want to be a better entrepreneur it's pretty irrelevant the way that he gets you to think is the important part so the actual specific principles are less powerful than the concept of another one of those and having principles and knowing how to categorize things and think through them he is putting out some of the most life-altering material i have ever come across i you guys have seen enough of these episodes to know like i don't rave this highly about stuff very often it is that transformational it's had that kind of impact on me personally and the business i can't encourage you to dive in enough if you haven't already be sure to subscribe and until next time my friends be legendary take care ray thank you thank you thank you thank you if you go in and ask for a raise you're not devaluing yourself you're actually increasing your value because what type of person would go in and ask for a raise a top performer so the second thing is they believe that they have to kick down the door of their boss and say like give me

Channel: Tom Bilyeu

Views: 576,594

Keywords: Tom Bilyeu, Impact Theory, ImpactTheory, TomBilyeu, Inside Quest, InsideQuest, Tom Bilyou, Theory Impact, motivation, inspiration, talk show, interview, motivational speech, Ray Dalio, Principles, Impact, transparency, candor, radical transparency, truth, hyperrealist, economy, debt crisis, ego, meditation, blind spot, self-discovery, tough love, struggle well, ego barrier, freedom, life arc.

Id: d25_QbLa0BY

Length: 62min 47sec (3767 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 26 2019