[Music] we chose for our meeting point a quaint fishing port near in vaness and I was the first to arrive in an Al foro gtv6 now you would imagine that when one of these comes onto the market classic car enthusiasts are running around like they're in a zombie movie and it's Black Friday but no I bought this from an 83 year old man who'd had it since new and was only selling it cuz his 84y old wife found it so difficult to get in and out of you know it's only done 26,000 Mi and yet it cost £10,000 and £10,000 that's a round of drinks in the world where this sort of thing belongs oh hello James May in a Lancia gamma Coupe it's one of the prettiest cars ever made but don't tell him I said that war May how much 135,000 oh so £35,000 more than I paid for this vastly Superior alphao well 35,000 is a bargain for a car that is coachbuilt and extremely rare and beautiful but it isn't exotic like this is what do you mean it's not exotic okay may I just talk you through some of this car's features yes transaxle gearbox at the back twin plate clutch discs all round unusual at the time one of the best engines ever made 2 and 1/2 L V6 those aren't my words by the way they are the words of James May in car magazine yes I did say that love this engine I do and this is one the European Touring Car Championship four years on the truck you won the British Touring Car Championship this has got race breeding as well what a gammer it's a Lancia they're the most successful rallying team in history not my words the words of Jeremy Clarkson and that is a better looking car was is this yes it is superb it's not superb I tell you what's not superb Richard Hammond arriving in a f x19 how much £2,250 somebody saw you coming h what for a baby Ferrari 202 did you just call it a baby Ferrari because it is miden engined Italian it's exactly what it is well listen to that sound I know that is the reassuring sound of tin on Russian steel it's a light bright effervescent sound just like the car how many colors has this car been it was black then it was red then it was white then it was pale blue and now it's purple I'd like to add actually it's not how many colors has this car been how many cars has this been well quite it's now going brown brown yeah all right then I'm not going to turn around and try and work out which Alpha you've bought the best alha gtv6 exactly y why is it got this plastic bit in the middle of the Bonnet genius the engine in this car had a small issue it used to back well front fire actually and blow the top off the engine yeah so that would damage the bonnets so they put this plastic panel which was easier to replace why didn't they stop it backfiring oh don't be ridiculous they were busy lazy can I just ask what's that broom handle thing ah well then this is another characteristic of the GT V6 is that when you park up you need to keep the clutch pedal depressed using a broom handle like that right otherwise the clutch and the flywheel will fuse together I see you know I used to own one of these not a lot I don't know about it yeah when you used to own one of these how did you find the gear change um smooth snicky no it wasn't was it no those aren't quite the right words terrible what about second yeah second I don't know I never found it no exactly yes let's not get bogged down with some of the Alpha's minor design flaws dis because all three of us have got plastic cars I have yes for good money mhm we in Scotland so why don't we take them on a drive in well let's be honest Scotland is just a road trip well I agree we could while we're here we could do the nc500 which I mean that isos it's voted by cond Nas Traveler magazine voted it the best road trip in the world last locks mountains it's just all the no it's all the best bits of Scotland right 500 Miles round the North Coast of Scotland in Italian exhaust this is my choice and before we've even begun here it is the Subaru impressor is the the best and that's that it just [Music] is at this point James arrived with one of his favorite things a contrary opinion that is a fantastic car Hammond the Subaru is superb it's not quite as fantastic as what I've brought which is a uh Mitsubishi Evo yes and if you're on an actual rally special stage or a RAC track the Evo is brilliant but the fact remains to get home again you will take the Subaru because it's just more suited to the real world somehow it's more calm calm yes who wants a calm rally car this TW at this point Jeremy demonstrated that he hadn't been listening to himself hello didn't you say that you had to bring the best rally car it is it's an Audi quatro that's not an Audi Quattro it is where does it say Quattro on that it doesn't because it isn't one there you go listen it doesn't say the Duke of malra on the Duke of malra but we know he is the Duke of malra because his ancestor won a battle and that car's ancestor won a battle twice when two you've put the wrong thing this an RS4 these a car an Executive Car listen I am older you and older and with ag has come wisdom wait and wait yeah it is a bit heavy idea they are a heavy car he said dodging that one oh sorry what my phone is buzzing inevit go on There Is No Escape is there there you go even here yes Mr Wilman right hang on in order to find out which of your cars is the best you will drive across what both the BBC and the guardian call Europe's last Great Wilderness you will drive all the way across Norway Sweden and Finland never once dropping below the Arctic Circle and you must get to iow airport near the Russian border by 5:00 p.m. on Saturday day cuz that's when your plane back to the UK leaves so we've got to hold on we've got to get to the Finish Line in six days what is it 5 600 miles o over 100 miles a day subu impressor it doesn't sound very tricky this time I mean if we were in convertibles four roller sces yes four-wheel drive saloons a not this isn't a clearing up shower is it no ow ow should we get going yes holy cow to try and find out each of us bought an American car and this is what I chose a 19 ft long Lincoln Continental Mark five [Music] remember jot youing out of Dallas he had one of these fat Frank Cannon the TV detective he had something very similar markv basically the same and what this means is is that when I was growing up I would see a Lincoln on TV every week and then I'd turn to my dad and say Dad can we ever for CA why didn't I want one of these where didn't he oh hello [Applause] [Music] it's a Buick Riviera oh yeah with a with a self openening booze so I'll sh that when did that happen just now as you okay that's a feature of the model this is the legendary 1971 Buick Riviera the boat tail what no I'm just I'm just I'm stunned well no the thing is is we said why did American cars not catch on in Europe yeah did this even catch on in America well that's the thing you see the Riviera was Buick's answer to the Ford Thunderbird so from 63 they were making rivieras and it was doing well they were selling quite a few not as many as a Thunderbird so in 71 they said let's make something really striking really new really out there and they made this and and everybody hated it MI their advertising materials said it's like nothing else and Americans went good but Jo fat Frank Cannon celebrity all over it Clint Eastwood really Jeff Bridges really yes what they both had this Bruce Willis Bruce Willie so Frank and jock yes Bruce Clint and Jeff yes and we still ran around in Europe going I don't know should we have an Alle we had an algro estate when this existed what do you suppose ma Got No let me rephrase that what sort of Cadillac do you suppose ma Bard eventually after 20 ft of waiting we got the answer the car now arriving at platforms 4 5 6 7 8 9 and 10 May yes sir we guessed you'd have a Cadillac not just a Cadillac this is a Cadillac Coupe Deville is it the Cadillac of Cadillac honestly driving this I feel like Elvis Presley what dead on the lavatory oh my God how much burgundy can you get in one car it's like an American motel room they must have scraped out all the burgundy mines in the world what color should we make the seats burgundy what about the dash though burgundy oh good idea but the switch the button on the end of the cruise control stalk burgundy is burgundy I was hoping you wouldn't notice that was it fallen off well I'm going to have to admit to being a bit of a clot I was driving here and I noticed in my mirror this piece of debris flying away down the road and I actually thought to myself do you know what that's remarkable that piece of debris is the same Burger burgy is my car but without actually thinking I wonder if it came from it I tell you what we should do have a g top trumped engine 6.6 L V8 wow 6.6 what does it used to drive the car along is that what starts the engine well how big's the engine in yours 7.5 7.5 L 7.5 L V8 God 8.28 8.2 L this is the biggest V8 ever fitted to a production car 8.2 L all right then this is more efficient obviously how many horsepower mine mhm 190 I don't think horsepower matters how many horsepower 181 that's it yes from 6.6 lers I don't know how they did that my 7 and 1/2 lit V8 lump develops 250 horsepower 250 yeah so that's a rocket despite its villainous presence though the price is mad so I called May and Hammond and we came up with an idea if you are a Chinese businessman or businessman woman and you want a car that reflects your status you don't need to spend 880,000 you can simply pop over to Europe and buy a Mercedes S-Class like this one and even though this is the 6 L V12 it cost me just £ 8,800 in other words you could have a hundred of these for the price of a honkey at this point my colleague Richard Hammond arrived in something or other what is that this is a Cadillac STS and you can shut up I wasn't going to say anything good because this is fit to be one of the best engines of all time the creamy smooth 4.6 L Northstar V8 making 300 All American horsepower that engine was designed so it can run for up to 100 miles with no coolant in it at all by shutting down One Bank of the va8 until it cools and then the other one and then the other one that is clever un front drive yeah it's a luxury car who cares what wheels are being driven down L people who care about torque steer weight distribution dignified engineering doing things I'll cancel all the track days I've entered in it and I'll just drive around in it as a luxury car anyway this is the Mercedes S-Class which as we know is is really a sort of Paradigm for the luxury car and it's a pioneer of many things that are new on cars and that we all come to see as standard 7even years later for example first car to have soft closed doors how many miles is it done 180,000 yeah all I figured where did your car come from Germany a German mhm bought a Cadillac we were then interrupted by the arrival of Clarkson in a BMW ooh I see you've bought the long car yours is long as well are you two being from the 1970s another long wheelbase and this is long it is long this is the BMW 750 iil as Q called it in the Bond film Tomorrow Never Dies did he he did nobody told it nobody on set said Desmond that's not you would think wouldn't he oh well and in the film they use 740s rebatch this is yeah this is the real deal the 5.4 L V12 and all I paid for it was £ 8,400 that is one hell of a lot of car I only paid £3,000 for my Cadillac that's a Cadillac yes the point I'm going to make is what kind of the in Germany said there's Aldi there's BMW there's Mercedes I should buy a Cadillac in fact I know exactly you know those Germans you see that think they're Hell's Angels they're dentists but they have Harley-Davidson and they go to the October Fest and they drink Budweiser yes well I know the Germans you mean no you're wrong because the previous owner of that car was an American General living in Germany was a general he was an American General and he bought that because he recognized what Cadillac intended with that car which is take on Audi BMW Mercedes directly with that car with the Northstar Engine oh yes they were very successful at that weren't they because Europe is full of Cadillacs yeah you see them everywhere you never see an Audi tripping over these Rarity and exclusivity are part of luxury let's have a look at yours mine honestly is in perfect neck it's absolutely fine I saw that so what that's got double glazing and it has gone wrong oh wait a minute you come on what's the disee it's is that James is that between the pain it's got that's the most depress ing a double glazed window with milu what's the matter you've got milu inside your windows where there well it's just it's that's really poor oh my God basically it's disappearing before your eyes how can a German car go sure it's a real one was it parked in the sea when you bought it let not get bogged down with the oxidization of my soon I reached the meeting point where I found James who' bought an XK8 convertible here we are look a big cat near an old dog greetings mate it's not a Subaru you're supposed to be upholding the reputation of the Jag driver why have you bought that because it's excellent it isn't it is no this was a very poor Jaguar no this was a very good Jager wasn't you could go camping in the wheel archers of it so high up they looked all right when they were supercharged and lower but this no but they didn't work properly when they were supercharged and lower because they had a terrible ride the one thing you get from a Jag is a nice ride you're disconnected from the world that's the point anyway and those wheels are what's the matter there's no any way about it that's the best Jag probably ever made well it is no tell me what's wrong with that one of the wheels is odd yes ah I know exactly what's happened here uhhuh previous owners had a puncture he simply borrowed a wheel from another car to use and he's going to give it back of course he is yeah because he drives a jack exactly and look in here it looks as if there's been a knife fight in the car that's because he went to stay with some friends obviously thought I'll borrow their Cutlery tucked it into his trousers and then he's cut his seat that's what happened at this point Mr Hammond hoved into view God is that a mark 10 that is a mark 10 that's that's a properly villainous Jag that is a proper jag jag oh yes whatever you do okay do not tell him that no no Haven you idiot what well we're supposed to be upholding the reputation of Jaguar you've you've brought an antique you've brought an old piece of furniture I am celebrating and reveling in the glories of Jaguar this is 1967 420g this is a this is look at the this front end started with this car that's the jaguar look isn't it the forehead lamps the narrow seriously what is that it's a 420 G this was the no no not that that this was my jacket I thought you know bit of style or in jaguas there's no style in the jacket at all is riddled with style man that some of your jackets are terrible but I can't anyway this was favored by every villainous bank robber and baddy in and around England in the 60s and how much did you pay for it £65,000 what I know that is a lot of car for 6 and a half Grand look at the size of it Hammond that is 1,000 no wait £2,500 more than I paid for a supercharged Jaguar that is Jaguar's embarrassing attempt to recapture their own design that started with this the four head lamps the narrow Grill this is definitive your car is derivative and Hammond wasn't finished there look at the size of this imagine how many oil paintings borrowed I could get in there smells terrible tool kit let me have a look that's for opening Windows this is this is not necessarily for fixing the car none of the that's for cutting through somebody's fence this is for undoing the paintings from the walls or the jagu t is just for burgy it's got jimy in it the meeting point was on the shores of the Black Sea and naturally enough James May was the last to arrive in the new BMW 8 series God it doesn't look anything like as good in the flesh as it did in the pictures it is disappointing in the metal I'm afraid that's the and brown what Brown It's Sunburst orange mate that's a brown car it's Sunburst Orange it's not brown it's brown orange and it looks very like a Toyota it on delivery wheels are they especially for delivering it what are you talking little wheels that they can move it around I mean that's what I mean well they're not big enough are they can you have a 22in wheel wheel no why not well why would you want to 22 in wheel spoil the ride would fill the archers yeah oh oh oh and I suspect criminal offense what Anyone who puts an Madge on a BMW that isn't an mbmw has to go to prison so this this is this is one of those M cars that isn't an M car they've done that no it's not the M8 that comes later because it's the M sport in effect so M sport just means not an M doesn't it but it's in between the m and the normal cars that's why you have M sport 5 series for example this is like Elton John's greatest HTS without your song or Tiny Dancer on it James I don't want to be childish about this now but I hate do you not I hate but you're going to I hate your gear Le I love it look at it I think that's fantastic and the rest it's horrible g e in a boring interior that's contemporary and tasteful let's have a look at yours what have you got oh you've got the new Bentley that's the same as the old Bley uh apart from being a completely new car yeah but it looks the same it doesn't look the same it's complet different front end different size it looks like it's a completely new car this monochrome Union Jack applied by Germans yes there is there is some German in chassis German yeah engine yeah German yeah oh no the Germans have done all the tech and Engineering that'll no wait it'll be brilliant what it's a bit it's I use the word advisor it's a bit camp that is a special it is what's Camp about that all pleated and leathery and it does give good occasion now that is a special event does liberar pop up out of the center console and play the piano for you you see the reason I'm not having a go at your interior is my Aston has been delivered with Burmingham spec that's horrible oh that's quite Vivid isn't it I mean I worryingly for you I quite I quite like that you like that exactly so this is um it's it's a db11 no well no it's the DBS super legera because it's very light isn't it is it that's what super legera means yeah it's 72 kg lighter than a db11 and no more expensive well it's a bit more expensive how much more expensive it's £67,000 more yes than db11 and how much is it a lot is it something like a quarter of a million pound no what is it then a bit less 230 bit less 2 25 years mine's £100,000 it's contemporary and it's modern there's no good say oh it looks Japanese as if that's a slur the Japanese Advanced the car massively in the last century James had chosen the Rolls-Royce Dawn a new twodo drophead version of The Ghost and I'd be in the DB1 the latest in a long line of elegant and beautiful Aston Martin Grand [Music] toras even it's D errors are beautiful it wheels are beautiful this is this is one of the most beautiful cars I've ever seen shame is brown it isn't Brown yes it is it isn't Brown It's sunset orange it's not brown in the way that my car is green it's brown your car is a convertible BMW 7 Series no it isn't but but is it a 7 Series underneath bits of the floor pan are there you go £265,000 for a convertible 7 Series isn't if you're going to drive across Italy which we're going to do taking in some culture mhm that's what you need a brown car it isn't Brown It's Brown look let's not bicker actually on this occasion let's get on we are both going to drive across what is I think our favorite country in the world enjoy some culture enjoy some fine wine some food some art what was that H sorry I'm late well we didn't know you were coming we rather hoped you were well I am and look at the car I brought Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat 707 American horsepower and enough talk to pull that old building down just that old building is it oh never mind Hammond Tuscany not really the home of the muscle car yeah you see I was worried you two were going to be all boring and serious and I here to make sure this trip is fun because don't tell me the original Grand Tour wasn't fun it was like an 18th century Cannonball Run only with oldfashioned morphine instead of cocaine this is going to be brilliant what's with your advertising well because the Americans used to do The Grand Tour and they used to get sponsors to help cover the cost so I've got myself some sponsorship Bobby's what is a grit that's a it's a it's a isn't it a bit left over after coffee or potatoes I don't know it's what's there Rodeo Lu yep look at that the thing is people will look at me in that and know I am on a grand tour you they'll just what are these two old farts doing seriously you have made no effort you haven't got into the mood for this art music culture refinement yes is this something to do is this something to do with you yes yes they're here these are my spare tires because on a trip like this in a car with that much power and that much talk I'm going to get through some tires true yeah that lock was not going to fit in the boot or trunk was it that is luxury that is grand T reluctantly we agreed to let our vulgar colleague tag along
