[dramatic piano music] Dreams have a funny way
of consuming folks. In pursuit of dreams,
folks will forsake everything they held dear. But, as fate would have it,
most dreams worth dreamin' always remain just out of grasp, like chasing the horizon itself. Well, my dream ain't no different, and I still can't let it go. [piano music stops] - (bartender screaming)
- [glass shattering] Now, listen. I don't want to cause any trouble. I've traveled from... (monkey noises) Look, I just need the damn gorilla. [footsteps] You should put that gun away, boy. [SHERIFF]: You know what I want,
and I ain't leavin' without it. And what is that, exactly? Don't act stupid. You know damn well
I want that Golden Banana. Do you know how many monkeys
died for this sacred banana? 419. 419 souls passed on for the
sake of this damn Golden Fruit. And now? It's gonna
have to be 420. [Western music] [dramatic Western music] You just yee'd your last haw, boy! [gunshot] (Sheriff exclaims) Uh... Why does it always
have to go this way? Don't you understand that
the banana only causes disaster in the wrong hands? And I am the only soul who's got
the strength of will to protect it. [Gorilla's Daughter]: Wait! Please, Daddy, don't kill him. What in the hell are you
doing, young lady? This monkey is no different
from the rest of us. We all come to the West
seeking one dream or another. Ain't we bound to make mistakes
along the way? Don't we all deserve a second chance? Please let him go.
For me, Daddy? (sigh) Fine. It's your lucky day, monkey. But don't go thinkin' anything's changed. If I ever see you back here again,
you won't get another chance to walk away. You owe me. [SHERIFF]: Well, I needed some
help if I ever wanted to get my hands on
that Golden Banana. You see, I didn't used to be
the only cowboy monkey. There used to be hundreds of us, but they moved on with
their lives and forgot the dream we sought
for so long. I didn't want nothin' to do
with them after that. But now, I ain't got no other choice. Woah, woah. (horse sputtering) [SHERIFF]: Oh, boy... ["DK Rap" plays] Sheriff? Howdy. What are you doing here?
Finally over the cowboy phase? No, sir. That's why I'm here. Hm? I, uh... I need some help. Don't tell me you're still trying
to get that Golden Banana? I tried again, but still no dice. If we all just worked together,
I know we can get it this time! If you're desperate enough
to come to us, your plan must not be very convincing. This time, I'm getting ALL of us
together, and I mean ALL OF US. (angry monkey noises) Well, we’ve been trying to
beat the high score all night. [GAME]: You failed. If you want me and the boys to help,
you gotta show us what you got. (Sheriff groans) (excited monkey noises) ["Brass Monkey" by Beastie Boys plays] (monkeys cheering) (applause) Those moves were radical, man. Spit on it, partner. I'm in. (spits) If I'm gonna whip this
plan into shape, I've got a lot more
monkeys to convince. Just give us the word,
we'll be there. So long, partner. [gavel striking] We the jury find the defendant,
wait for it... Not guilty. - [SHERIFF]: Oh my God, we did it! Yeah!
- [DEFENDANT]: Yes! Yes! [DEFENDANT]: Spit on it, partner! [OFFICER CHIMP]: Spit on it, partner.
I'm in. (spits) Spit on it, partner.
(spits) Uh, that's unsanitary. Don't worry, you're vaccinated. Spit on thy hand, champion.
I'm in. (spits) Just walk on down the block. Yeah, left corner there.
You can't miss it. Boo! [tires screeching] [private and public
property damage noises] I'm in.
(licks) Last monkey standing wins. Ah! Ow! Ow! Ouh! Wait, wait! Don't hit me! Spit on it, partner. I'm in. (spits) AH! Whoops. My bad. [GHOSTBUSTER CHIMP]: Spit on
it, partner. (spits) I'm in. (spits) I'm in. Spit on it, partner. I'm in. [BABY CHIMP]: Spit on it, partner. (spits) I'm in.
(spits) Escupa le, compadre.
(spits) Excuse me, gentlemen. (clears throat) I need you men for a job. (snorts)
We can't see you right now. Make an appointment with
the secretary. [squeak] I ain't got time for all that. You're not gonna make me
force you, are ya? Alright, then.
Your funeral. Huh? (exaggerated struggling noises) [Star Wars music swells] (gasping) [SHERIFF]: Now join me, and we will
find the Golden Banana as father and son! (laughing) Now you're speaking my language!
Spit on it, partner. (spits with phlegm) I'm in. [tense music] I thought I told you not
to come back, boy. Do you want a bullet between your eyes? All of this muscle, and you still use
a gun? Some gorilla you are. You're dead. Sunset, by the lonely cactus.
Be there. [climactic Western music] Well, well, well. I hope you
brang my banana. I’ve been saving this banana
for a special occasion. It's gonna be a good snack
after I'm done with you. Well, that ain't gonna happen,
partner. (scoffs) Oh yeah? And what are you
gonna do about it? Well, this time it ain't just me. I brought backup, and a
hell of a lot of it. [Nerd Chimp wheezing] Sorry I'm late.
One second. (vomits) Some backup that is. You son of a— [whack] And this time, I'm gonna make
sure you ain't comin' back. [ground rumbling] (distant monkey noises) (nearby monkey noises) (monkey noises continue) (Gorilla grunting) (violent monkey noises) [first-degree aggravated battery noises] (Gorilla shouts) [triumphant music] (monkeys chanting semi-harmoniously) (monkeys cheering) [slap] (huffs) Ain't you gonna finish me off? Gorilla, there's one thing you
ain't never understood about this world because of
that big stubborn head of yours. You simply can’t control it,
no matter how hard you try. In this world, the only thing
that determines fate... is the good, the bad, and the monkey. - [GORILLA'S DAUGHTER]: (nervous laugh)
- [SHERIFF]: (clears throat) Yep. (clears throat)
Uh... Hehe... So, uh...
I'm sorry about your dad. Oh. Uh, yeah, I mean...
At least you didn't kill him. Yeah, that would've made things
pretty awkward between us. Well... You did almost break
every bone in his body. ...Sorry about that. Right...
So, uh... Why did you do it? Uh, well... Now that I think about it,
I guess I was just hungry. And, it did look pretty shiny. Ah... Yeah, I guess
that's fair enough. Ah, time to finally enjoy
the reward of all my efforts. Is there maybe another
reward that you want? Hmmm.... Nope! Really, just this banana here
is all I wanted. Oh... Right... (sighs) Ah, time to dig in! What—
What the he— A brown spot?!
