"One day, you will meet
the gay of your dreams, and it will be the happiest,
most fulfilling day of your life." In the history of mainstream cinema, LGBT characters have
mostly existed in the margins. They've been the supporting
characters, rarely the lead, and for a long time they weren't
even allowed to exist openly. Nothing exemplifies this
marginalization better than the trope of the Gay Best Friend. "Oh, and don't even get me started
about the cliché Gay Best Friend whose sole purpose in the story
is just to help the main hot chick." Here's what we expect when we think of the
stereotypical Gay Best Friend: They're an accessory for
the straight, white, usually female protagonist. "That afternoon, I was high
on another feel-good drug: the new gay friend." They rarely have much
character development, and instead are there
to help the protagonist learn something about themselves. "You're chasing Michael?" "Yes!" "And who's chasing you? Nobody. Get it?" They conform to gay stereotypes,
like being into "girl talk," cocktails, and fashion. "What do you think?" "Oh, all of it, and I would throw in
a Korean snail face mask. Sweetie, your skin is so dry
it's hurting my face." They're mean! The GBF tends to be very funny,
often in a cutting way. "Oh, you think you're gay?" "What? No, no, well,
yeah, I'm not sure." "No, I can see it. I mean, you suck
at being straight." They are non-threatening: the GBF's sex life
is usually invisible, and they're viewed
as essentially sexless. "You don't understand
what this feels like. You've never..." "Lost the love of my life? Wrong. Paolo. Brazilian. Broke my heart." Today the GBF feels like
an outdated stereotype, but it's important to remember
that cinema's first ever Gay Best Friends were
positive developments in LGBT representation. Bernstein in Next Stop,
Greenwich Village was significant for being
a queer character whose queerness was
explicit, not coded, "Who are you?" "I'm Bernstein." "You're Jewish?" "No darling, I'm gay." and who wasn't villainous
because of this, but someone to empathize or identify with. Brian in Cabaret was introduced
as a woman's queer best friend "I've gone through the motions
of sleeping with girls exactly three times,
all of them disastrous." but was even more revolutionary
in being the male lead and explicitly bisexual. "Screw Maximillion!" "I do." "So do I." Charles Grodin's Buddy
in the Gene Wilder comedy The Woman In Red is
a valuable early example of the Gay Best Friend character
who's happily accepted in a friendship group of
otherwise straight men. "Do you believe this man asking whether my Teresa
would fool around?" "I find it hard to imagine
your wife sleeping with you!" Still, these characters were often
secondary and sidelined in the story. And as increasingly nuanced
queer characters have emerged, the Gay Best Friend looks
more and more like the product of a different era. Here's our take on the history
of the Gay Best Friend, and why we need to expect
more for this character in the 21st century. "You don't know what my reality is." If you're new here,
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exploring your creativity! "Okay booch, change out
of whatever this is, because I'm gonna drop you
off at the office on my way to my no plans whatsoever." The stereotypical
Gay Best Friend character did not emerge out of thin air. The characterization of the GBF
as a more effeminate kind of man can be seen as a descendant
of one of Hollywood's oldest LGBT tropes: the sissy. "This is ripped. Who were you with last night?" "Strangler Lewis." "Oh, catchers catch can, hmm?" Sissies were a way for filmmakers
to hint at queer characters without being explicit, and came to prominence
during the great Depression when traditional notions of men
being breadwinners were in crisis. As Vito Russo writes in
The Celluloid Closet, sissies "made everyone feel
more manly or more womanly by occupying the space in between." While there's widespread
criticism of the sissy stereotype, some have also pointed out
the positive aspect of offering at least some representation
or inclusion: "I liked the sissy." "My view has always been
visibility at any cost." But things got worse as a
result of the Hays Code- a list of moralizing rules
beginning in the '30s about what cinema
could and couldn't show, which equated homosexuality
to sexual deviancy. Sissies went from being the
comic relief to the villains. "You may have the falcon,
but we certainly have you." In a sense, the Gay Best Friend
represents a reversion to type for the non-villainous
original sissy. The GBF and sissy share
the same signifiers- being flamboyant, effeminate,
well-groomed and well-dressed, prone to gesticulating,
and positioned in opposition to traditional notions
of masculinity. But there are some
key differences: the Gay Best Friend is
no longer kept in the closet, "Two things I love to do, that's
fight, and kiss boys. Come on!" and we do get to see something
of their interior lives. In The Devil Wears Prada,
Stanley Tucci's Nigel may exist primarily to help
Anne Hathaway's Andy navigate the treacherous nature
of working for Miranda Priestly, but he still has character
outside of that relationship. "This is a shining beacon of hope for,
oh I don't know, let's say a young boy growing up in Rhode Island
with six brothers pretending to go to soccer practice when
he was really going to sewing class." On the other hand, even over a half century later,
these characters continue to occupy that space in between. In Sex and the City, both
the show's Gay Best Friends- Carrie's Stanford Blatch and
Charlotte's Anthony Marentino- exist to bounce off their
respective gal-pal's personalities. Stanford works in the fashion industry
and is similarly single-and-looking, so he becomes a sounding board for
those sides of Carrie's personality. "There's a beautiful man downtown,
selling beautiful furniture, and we're going." "I'll get my purse." Meanwhile, Anthony is a
hyper-organized event planner whose bluntness cuts through
Charlotte's own neuroses. "You loved Harry,
I loved Harry, we all loved Harry, but
it's been two weeks! Next!" Worse, in the second movie,
the two GBFs marry each other, reinforcing what Salon's
Thomas Rogers calls "the clichéd, condescending
hetero fantasy, the one in which you introduce
the only two gay men you know, and magically,
the sparks fly." "Her best gay friend is
marrying my best gay friend!" Still, while these relationships
may seem one-dimensional, on the positive side there appears
to be truth in the show's portrayal of straight women and gay men
trusting each other for advice about their love lives. Overall, the treatment of
queer characters as little more than fashion accessories
for straight women likens them to status symbols,
or as Chris Riotta writes: "It's come to my attention
some of you think having a gay friend is like owning
a piece of jewelry." "The consequences of Britney
winning this election is that I'll have to move to New York
without my best gay. What if I need an emergency makeover,
or a last minute souffle?" GBF satirizes this through
a plot about rival cliques led by teen girls who believe
having a Gay Best Friend will secure them the title
of Prom Queen. "The hottest trend sweeping
schools worldwide is the GBF." "The Gay Best Friend: every celeb
has one so every teen girl needs one." But rather than being a film about
the girls who seek out these GBFs, the story uses this trope to criticize
the assumption that all gay men must subscribe to a contemporary
version of the sissy archetype. "You don't even sound like
the ones on Bravo. Say the word 'fierce.'" Its final message is that the
GBF symbol is dehumanizing, and that it pressures queer people
to perform a persona in order to be accepted by straight people, instead of freely expressing
their true selves. "I don't wanna be king
of the gay prom. Or be a Gay Best Friend." "I just wanna go to prom,
be a friend..." "George likes to pretend
that he's gay." "And why would you do that?" "Oh, I find it attracts women." If the Gay Best Friend trope
purports to celebrate gay people as the ideal platonic companion, then the gay love interest
for a straight woman takes this one step further. Stories about a woman
wishing her gay friend were straight (or mistaking
him for straight) elevate the gay character into
a paragon of masculinity- an idea of what straight women
wish straight men would be: refined, sensitive, and
emotionally vulnerable. But is this the compliment
it thinks it is? Arguably, this kind of portrait
is reductive to both gay and straight men (who, it implies,
can't be sensitive), and doesn't show much
interest in the gay experience. In The Object Of My Affection, Paul Rudd's George is portrayed
as the perfect guy for Jennifer Aniston's Nina. "You're an extraordinary person." He's a good listener,
he's great with kids, and is emotionally intuitive. "He asked me the same thing you did." "Why am I living here and he isn't?" "Bingo." and the blossoming
of her relationship with George coincides with
Nina having cold feet about taking the next step with
her actual boyfriend, Vince. "I just don't know if I
should be living with him. He can really fill a room." So despite George being gay, the audience is instructed to root
for him to get together with Nina. His homosexuality is seen as an
obstacle to their natural chemistry, while Nina uses the fact that
he once had a girlfriend to keep the possibility alive-
both for her and for us. "George is G-A-Y, gay! That means he never
sleeps with women." "He has slept with a woman!" In Clueless, after Cher makes
her speech about the lack of quality men in her school, "Searching for a boy in high school
is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie." Christian enters, in slow motion. He perfectly fits her male ideal,
down to his style from a past era, which noticeably contrasts with
the '90s slacker aesthetic she finds so offensive. "I don't get how guys dress today. I mean come on, it looks like
they just fell out of bed." But the movie is making
the point that Cher's interest in this archetype
of the perfect man is shallow and she doesn't realize that
she actually loves someone else. Meanwhile, Cher doesn't even
really appreciate all the richer parts of Christian's personality, "You like Billie Holiday?" "I love him." and his numerous references to
his sophisticated cultural tastes are treated as merely joking
clues about his sexuality that Cher doesn't pick up on. "Christian had a thing
for Tony Curtis, so he brought over Some Like
lt Hot and Sporaticus." When she does eventually
realize he's gay, "He's a disco-dancing,
Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand ticket-holding,
friend of Dorothy!" he quickly shifts into the
fashion accessory GBF-category, his value still only
seen in terms of what he can do for her. "Not that Christian wasn't
a blast to hang out with. He was becoming one of
my favorite shopping partners." The women in The Object
of My Affection and Clueless may learn a lesson about
why they fixated on an unattainable guy, but the first reaction we're
encouraged to have about these gay love interests
is disappointment. These men are wonderful, so it feels like an
unfortunate missed opportunity that the protagonist
can't be with them. "You don't tell a woman
that you love her and then two days later bring Romeo
over to sleep with you!" Gay characters' sexuality
is erased even further in variations on this story set-up
where straight men pretend to be gay or take advantage of
being mistaken for gay to get closer to the girl they want. "Can you spray me? My suit keeps riding up." "That's why I'm here, girlfriend!" This leads to a portrayal
of the Gay Best Friend that doesn't even include
a gay character, reducing gayness to
a plot device to tell a story about straight people. "You have done self-tan
before, right?" "Yeah, like, I do it all the time." A rare exception to these pitfalls
occurs in My Best Friend's Wedding. While Rupert Everett's George play-acts the role of the straight
boyfriend to perfection to help Julia Roberts' Jules make her
old flame Michael jealous, "Actually, it's a very romantic story." we always know that these two
platonic pals are not getting together. After Jules doesn't get her man, the film concludes with her
and George having fun together- thus elevating their friendship
to the same level of importance as a romantic relationship. "Maybe there won't be marriage. Maybe there won't be sex. But by God, there'll be dancing." In many of the romantic stories
we've been discussing, the gay characters become sidelined
because they aren't the solution to the female protagonist's
quest for a partner. And this reveals a central problem: the Gay Best Friend tends to
exist in straight narratives, supporting straight characters, and is rarely, if ever,
seen in queer spaces. "And you're also the one who's
currently carb-loading with a gay man, while he's probably waiting
for you in the hot tub." A mainstream exception
would be Will and Grace, which from 1998 on
was unusual in its time for balancing its story between
the gay male and straight female best-friend leads (who were
also supported by another more flamboyant version of the gay-male and straight-
female best friend pair) "I guess we can take
our minds off of things by touching each other
inappropriately." "Good idea." More recently, we see
a great example of a straight best friend
character existing in a primarily queer space
in It's A Sin's Jill, who supports and loves
her gay male friends. "La!" "La!" "Break a leg Rachel." "La!" "La!" "Good luck Gladys!" She fights for their rights
and cares for them when some get diagnosed
with HIV in the '80s, before many treatment
options are available. "They don't think it's tuberculosis." "Then what is it?" "What do you think it is?" When her best friend Ritchie's
mom doesn't believe he's gay, Jill monologues about her
appreciation specifically for this aspect of Ritchie, "Then there's Richie, who's gay. Absolutely, definitely gay. He's beautifully gay." and her total acceptance and
understanding of her friends is a rare, important thing. "That's what people will forget,
that it was so much fun." "Do you understand what I mean?" "No." "That's why I need to see Jill." Jill's straight-best-friend is an
inversion of the GBF trope that shows how valuable the straight woman-gay male
relationship can be when there isn't a hierarchy of power
that always centers the straight space or narrative. "And this is my best friend, Jill." "No, I'm sorry, no, as drag goes
that is completely unconvincing. He's so manly!" "I'm the only one who is!" In today's stories, the Gay Best Friend trope isn't
necessarily being abandoned, but it's evolving into something
more complex and self-aware. It might be used knowingly, like with Unbreakable Kimmy
Schmidt's Titus Andromedon "D'fwan broke up with me!" "Oh no, it's my Gay Best Friend,
Flouncy Magoo." and Big Mouth's Matthew "Those girls are gonna eat him alive, and then barf him out
because they're bulimic." "She's funny!" Or it might be a road into telling
more well-rounded queer stories, like with Happiest Season's John. On the surface John plays into
the traditional GBF trope: he's the comic relief,
he's cutting, "I just think the choice
you're making is dumb and you should feel bad
about it and yourself" he pretends to be
straight at one point, "I am John, Abby's
heterosexual ex‐boyfriend" and he's there to help
Abby learn a lesson "Just because Harper
isn't ready, it doesn't mean she never will be, and it doesn't mean
she doesn't love you." "I‐I want to be with
someone who is ready." But the film exists
in a queer space, and that lesson is that every
queer story is different. "Everybody's story is different. There's your version
and my version and everything in between." At first, it feels like Eric
in Sex Education is falling squarely into the Gay Best Friend
(and Black Best Friend) traps. "Now lose the tie,
you look like a Mormon! Listen, you're gonna have to
fake it until you make it. Can you do that?" But we start to become aware
that the show's initial setup, with "nice guy" Otis as the
focus, and "best friend" Eric there purely to support him, is a clichéd high-school
story template that the writing is about to
critique and break out of. "Oh, this? Yeah, no, I'm
auditionin' for Swing Band, thanks for askin.' So nice that you care about
what's happenin' in my life." When Otis treats Eric poorly (as so many GBF's
have been treated before), Eric is afforded the space
and dignity to recognize this and assert himself
by calling Otis out. "Why are you so angry?" "Because, we've been friends
since we were nine years old and you've abandoned me
for someone that you've known for five seconds." After that, the narrative
begins to flip. Otis becomes more supportive, "I think you are the coolest,
bravest, and kindest person I know." and Eric's journey, love life,
and inner conflicts are given as much primacy as Otis' story. "Will you hold my hand?" "Yes." Another self-aware series, I May Destroy You
gives us a balanced, realistic look at all the
complexities that can arise in the straight woman-
gay man relationship. Writing in Dazed, Jason
Okundaye argues that Kwame is "failed" by
his female friend Arabella when she locks him in a room
with someone she's trying to set him up with. "I'm actually tryna find your toilet." "It's first door on the left." "Sorry mate, I thought
this was the toilet." Quote: "the women in our lives can,
though well intentioned, often lack sensitivity to our autonomy
or ventriloquise our desires by projecting fantasies
and romances into our lives and engagements with men." "Where's Kwame?" "I gave him some privacy
with Jamal in the bedroom." "Umm, he's on a break." "I'm sure he was swiping
on Grindr in the market." "He's on a break." Compared to all these nuanced
stories in today's landscape, the classic, uncomplicated
Gay Best Friend trope is limiting. It reduces the gay experience
down to one specific thing. "Is cheerleading still a thing?" "Is being the Gay Best Friend
still a thing?" The GBF can still be funny,
supportive, even into fashion- those things were never the issue. "I'm not sure if it's working
or it looks like a clown's tampon." But the important thing is that
we move away from the token queer character in
a straight narrative, whose value is determined
by how useful they are to the straight protagonists. "An hour ago he wasn't
our new Gay Best Friend." As one of multiple queer characters,
existing in queer spaces, and within storylines centered
around queer people, the GBF can finally thrive. "I've had to work really hard to
love myself, and I won't go back." This is The Take, on your favorite movies,
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