I MEAN, STUNNING. >> Trevor: OH, MY GOD! THE F.B.I. RAIDED DONALD TRUMP'S HOUSE, THE F.B.I. PEOPLE, RAIDED A FORMER PRESIDENT'S HOUSE. THIS IS HUGE. THIS IS BIGGER THAN WHEN THE FEDS INVESTIGATED BILL CLINTON FOR DOING MOUTH STUFF WITH THAT SAXOPHONE. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i> BY THE WAY, BY THE WAY, THIS RAID, JUST SO YOU KNOW, HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH JANUARY 6 OR TAX FRAUD OR GIVING THE WHITE HOUSE PLUMBER P.T.S.D. NO, APPARENTLY, APPARENTLY THIS INVESTIGATION IS ABOUT TRUMP TAKING CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE. AND-- AND, HONESTLY, I'M AMAZED THAT TRUMP HAS TIME FOR ALL OF THIS CRIME. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i> LIKE, AT ANY MOMENT, AT ANY MOMENT, TRUMP HAS A CRIME HE'S COVERING UP, A CRIME HE'S DOING NOW, A CRIME FOR THE FUTURE. HE'S LIKE THE STEVE HARVEY BUT OF CRIMES. EVERY DAY I'M LIKE DOES HE HAVE THE SAME HOURS IN THE DAY FOR ME? HE GETS SO MUCH DONE. <i> ( APPLAUSE )</i> NOW, IF YOU WILL REMEMBER, IF YOU REMEMBER, EARLIER THIS YEAR, THE FEDS ALREADY HAD TO GO DOWN TO MAR-A-LAGO AND TAKE BACK 15 BOXES OF DOCUMENTS THAT TRUMP WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE, BUT, APPARENTLY, THEY THINK THERE'S MORE HIDDEN ON THE PROPERTY. AND I BELIEVE THAT. I BELIEVE THAT, TOO. I MEAN, LIKE, TRUMP'S NOT GOING TO KEEP RECORDS IN A FILING CABINET LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. THE SAME DUDE WHO BURIED HIS EX-WIFE ON A GOLF COURSE. THINK ABOUT THAT. AND, YES, IT IS TOTALLY UNPRECEDENTED FOR THE F.B.I. TO RAID THE HOME OF A FORMER PRESIDENT. THAT IS TRUE. HAS NEVER HAPPENED IN AMERICAN HISTORY. DON'T FORGET, DONALD TRUMP HAS ALSO NEVER HAPPENED IN AMERICAN HISTORY. <i> ( APPLAUSE )</i> EVERYTHING IS AN ANOMALY WITH THIS MAN. WHY DO YOU THINK A BOOK FROM ONE OF HIS STAFFERS COMES OUT EVERY SINGLE WEEK? BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE PERSON HE INTERACTS WITH IS LIKE, "YO, HAVE I GOT A ( BLEEP ) STORY FOR YOU." WOULDN'T IT BE WEIRD IF THIS IS THE THING THAT TAKES TRUMP DOWN? WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SOMETHING LIKE CONSPIRACY OR BRIBERY OR BLACKMAIL. BUT, NO, TRUMP GOT BUSTED FOR TAKING WORK HOME WITH HIM. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i> <i> ( APPLAUSE )</i> WHAT A NERD! <i> ( APPLAUSE )</i> NOW, OBVIOUSLY, PRESIDENT TRUMP RECOGNIZES THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION, WHICH IS WHY HE HAS REFRAINED FROM COMMENT WHILE THE LEGAL PROCESS IS-- NO, I'M JOKING WITH YOU. COME ON! THE GUY RELEASED A STATEMENT IMMEDIATELY, IMMEDIATELY. HE READ, "THESE ARE DARK TIMES FOR OUR NATION. AS MY BEAUTIFUL HOME, MAR-A-LAGO, IN PALM BEACH, FLORIDA, IS CURRENTLY UNDER SIEGE. RAIDED AND OCCUPIED BY A LARGE GROUP OF F.B.I. AGENTS. THEY EVEN BROKE INTO MY SAFE. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THIS AND WATERGATE? WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?" I LOVE THAT EVEN WHILE HE'S COMPLAINING HE SLIPS IN THAT THE THING IS BEAUTIFUL. "HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO MY BEAUTIFUL HOME?" <i> ( APPLAUSE )</i> ALSO-- <i> ( CHEERING )</i> ALSO, THIS IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM WATERGATE. FOR ONE THING, THE GUYS BREAKING INTO WATERGATE DIDN'T NEED TO CLEAN OLD KETCHUP STAINS OFF THE DOCUMENTS BUT THE OTHER BIG THING, THE OTHER DIFFERENCE IS THE RAID WAS LEGAL. IT WAS APPROVED BY A FEDERAL JUDGE, APPROVED BY THE HEAD OF THE F.B.I.-- WHO, BY THE WAY, WAS APPOINTED BY DONALD TRUMP HIMSELF. <i> ( APPLAUSE )</i> AFTER HE GOT RID OF, LIKE, 17 OTHER HEADS OF THE F.B.I. BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T WANT TO DO CRIMES WITH DONALD TRUMP. SO NOW, THE BIG MYSTERY IS WHAT DID THE F.B.I. FIND? WELL, ACCORDING TO DONALD TRUMP'S THIRD-FAVORITE SON, THE ONLY THING THE F.B.I. TOOK WAS HIS HEART. >> WHAT COULD THEY POSSIBLY THINK EXISTED INSIDE OF MAR-A-LAGO IN A BOX THAT WAS TAKEN FROM THE WHITE HOUSE THAT WAS SO DAMAGING THAT THE F.B.I. DIRECTOR AND THE ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES WOULD HAVE TO RAID A FORMER PRESIDENT'S RESIDENCE AND GRAB EVERYTHING OUT OF THERE? >> I DON'T KNOW. THEY WILL PROBABLY FIND A NOTE FROM ME TELLING HIM HOW PROUD I AM OF HIM AND WHAT A GREAT JOB HE WAS DOING AS PRESIDENT. THEY MIGHT FIND SOME PICTURES OF MY KIDS. MAYBE SOME NICE, YOU KNOW HEADLINES. MAYBE A NICE NOTE FROM YOU, SEAN. >> Trevor: "OH, ERIC, YOU SILLY, SILLY MAN. DID DADDY TELL YOU THAT'S WHERE YOUR LETTERS TO HIM GO? HMMM? HIDDEN AWAY SOMEWHERE SAFE." "THEY'RE JUST TOO IMPORTANT TO SHOW ANYBODY OR ACKNOWLEDGE THEM IN ANY WAY, ERIC, THAT'S WHY I LOCKED THEM UP RIGHT NEXT TO MY WEDDING RIENG. THAT'S WHAT I DO." ASIDE FROM THE BOXES THAT THEY TOOK, THE F.B.I. ALSO LOOKED INSIDE TRUMP'S SAFE, WHICH IS VERY DRAMATIC. LIKE, BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, THEY HAD TO BREAK INTO IT. SO NOW YOU'RE LIKE HOW DID THAT I DO IT? DID THEY BLOW IT OPEN OR DID THEY JUST CORRECTLY GUESS THE CODE 6969? HONEST UPONLY, I'D BE SURPRISED-- I WOULD ACTUALLY BE SURPRISED IF THEY FOUND WHITE HOUSE DOCUMENTS IN TRUMP'S SAFE. BECAUSE A SAFE IS WHERE YOU KEEP YOUR MOST-PRIZED POSSESSIONS. YEAH. FROM MY HEAD, SEARCHING THROUGH TRUMP'S SAFE WOULD PROBABLY GO A LOT MORE LIKE THIS. "ALL RIGHT, GUYS, LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE IN HERE. MY GOD! THE ENTIRE SAFE IS JUST FILLED WITH McRIB AFTER McRIB. THIS IS-- THIS IS-- THEY'RE STACKED ON TOP OF EACH OTHER. THIS IS-- I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND. IT'S AN UNVENTILATED SAFE. WHO WOULD DO THIS? WAIT, WAIT, HOLD ON! THERE'S A SECRET PANEL IN THE BOTTOM. I THINK WE FOUND IT-- NOPE ANOTHER McRIB, BOYS, ANOTHER McRIB." NOW YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING-- <i> ( APPLAUSE )</i> YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING, ISN'T THIS AN EXTREMELY EXPLOSIVE SITUATION FOR THE UNITED STATES? YES, IT IS, IT IS. YOU DON'T WANT TO LET A FORMER PRESIDENT GET AWAY WITH CRIMES, RIGHT, BECAUSE NOBODY IN AMERICA IS ABOVE THE LAW. EXCEPT CORPORATIONS AND RICH PEOPLE AND POLICE AND CELEBRITIES SOMETIMES. BUT ASIDE FROM THEM, NOBODY IS ABOVE THE LAW. BUT AT THE SAME TIME, EVEN THE PERCEPTION THAT THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT IS BEING USED TO GO AFTER YOUR POLITICAL OPPONENTS, THAT COULD ERODE PEOPLE'S TRUST IN GOVERNMENT. SO IT'S A REALLY TRICKY SITUATION. AND THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO IS WAIT AND SEE HOW THE INVESTIGATION UNFOLDS. OR, IF YOU'RE FOX NEWS, YOU CAN JUST FREAK OUT RIGHT NOW. >> THIS IS AN ABOMINATION. >> THIS IS GESTAPO CRAP. >> IT'S PROBABLY THE WORST DAY IN THE HISTORY OF THE F.B.I. >> THIS IS A WAKE-UP CALL FOR THOSE IN CONGRESS TO BE ABLE TO USE THE TOOLS AT THEIR DISPOSAL TO DEFUND THE F.B.I., DISMANTLE THE F.B.I. INTO A THOUSAND BITS. >> REPRESENTATIVE MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE SIMPLY TWEETING "DEFUND THE F.B.I." >> IF THIS IS WHAT THEY'RE ABLE TO DO TO THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, THINK ABOUT WHAT THEY COULD DO TO YOU, TO ANYBODY IN AMERICA. >> THE REAL TARGET OF THIS INVESTIGATION ISN'T TRUMP. THE REAL TARGET OF THIS INVESTIGATION IS YOU. >> DO WE HAVE A J-DUAL JUSTICE SYSTEM IN AMERICA? IS THERE EQUAL JUSTICE UNDER THE LAW? >> I AM DEATHLY AFRAID FOR DONALD TRUMP. I WOULD NOT PUT ASSASSINATION BEHIND THESE PEOPLE. >> WE ARE ENTERING A BASICALLY A VENEZUELAN, ZIMBABWAIN, EAST GERMAN STYLE BANANA REPUBLIC IN WHICH THE LAW DOESN'T MATTER. >> THIS IS SOME THIRD-WORLD BULLSHIT RIGHT HERE. LET ME SAY IT AGAIN: THIRD-WORLD BULLSHIT. >> Trevor: ALL RIGHT, FIRST OF ALL, AS SOMEONE FROM THE THIRD WORLD, MAYBE LEAVE US OUT OF YOUR SHIT FOR ONCE, HUH? HOW ABOUT THAT? <i> ( APPLAUSE )</i> BULLSHIT RIGHT HERE. EVERY TIME-- EVERY TIME AMERICANS WANT TO CALL SOMETHING IN AMERICA THAT IS CORRUPT ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY'RE LIKE, "THIS IS THIRD-WORLD BULLSHIT." MY MAN AT WHAT POINT DO YOU REALIZE IT'S HAPPENING HERE? IT'S YOU. IT'S YOU. <i> ( APPLAUSE )</i> BAD THINGS ONLY HAPPEN IN OTHER COUNTRIES, WHEN IT'S HERE IT'S STILL HAPPENING IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. IN FACT, WHEN SOMETHING HAPPENS IN THE ACTUAL THIRD WORLD, THESE DAYS PEOPLE IN AFRICA ARE LIKE, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THIS IS JUST LIKE AMERICA. NO, THIS PLACE IS TURNING INTO AMERICA. WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? WHAT ARE WE DOING?" BUT I DO GET WHAT SUPER KAREN IS SAYING. IF THE F.B.I.-- IF THE F.B.I. IS GOING TO GO AFTER TRUMP FOR STEALING CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTES FROM THE WHITE HOUSE, THEN WHAT'S TO STOP THEM FROM GOING AFTER YOU WHEN YOU STEAL CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE? OF IS THAT THE COUNTRY WE WANT TO LIVE IN, WHERE ANYONE CAN BE INVESTIGATED FOR THE CRIME OF DOING CRIMES? I DON'T THINK SO! <i> ( APPLAUSE )</i> I DON'T THINK SO! AND YOU KNOW, WHAT ALL OF THIS JUST SHOWS YOU, ALL OF THIS, JUST GET A MOMENT TO SAVOR, HOW QUICKLY MAGA WORLD TURNS ON LAW ENFORCEMENT, AND AMERICA AS A WHOLE WHENEVER IT SUITS THEM. WHENEVER THING GO AGAINST THEN, ALL OF A SUDDEN, MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE, POSTING A PHOTO OF AN UPSIDE DOWN AMERICAN FLAG AFTER THIS RAID HAPPENED. I THOUGHT RESPECTING THE FLAG WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD. COLIN KAEPERNICK IS PROBABLY KNEELING IN HIS GRAVE RIGHT NOW. ALL OF THESE PEOPLE COMPLAINING. WHAT HAPPENED TO, "IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT'S HAPPENING IN AMERICA JUDGE DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE." WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT. ALL OF THESE YEARS-- WHAT HAB OFS THAT BEEN NOW, TWO YEARS. "DEFUND THE POLICE IS LIKE THE 'N' WORDS OF LAW ENFORCEMENT." LET THEM TAKE BOXES FROM MAR-A-LAGO, AND THE SAME PEOPLE ARE LIKE, TAKE THE THIN BLUE LINE AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. DEFUND THE F.B.I.! DEFUND THE COPS." SAME PEOPLE. SAME PEOPLE. WHERE IS LAW ENFORCEMENT NOW? YOU KNOW WHAT WOO NEED TO START FOR CONSERVATIVES? WE NEED TO START A GAME SHOW CALLED "WHO'S WOKE NOW?" OUR FIRST CONTESTANT IS SEAN HANNITY, WHO SAYS NOW THERE ARE TWO JUSTICE SYSTEMS IN AMERICA. IT'S NOT FAIR. OH, "WHO'S WOKE NOW?" NOW, SEAN. YOU JUST WON YOURSELF AN AFRO PICK.
