February 1, 2015 "Forgiving What You Can't Forget Part I" Pastor Howard-John Wesley

i want to start the sermon with a pop quiz that i think everyone will get an a on i have a question i want to ask you when was the last time somebody hurt you was the last time someone spoke to you in a way you know you didn't deserve was the last someone treated you in a way that was not appropriate for the relationship you thought you had was the last time i put it in 2014 language somebody did you dirty the last time you were hurt and wounded by someone in your world if if i know life the way i think i know life your answer would probably be not too long ago maybe even last week as a matter of fact the possibility of you being hurt recently may cause you right now to be looking side eye at somebody in your pew because you know he talked about you or maybe when i ask you the question about being hurt your mind goes back several seasons and years ago for you could hurt so deeply and it could have been 20 years ago but right now you can remember everything about that moment you remember what day of the week it was you remember what color underwear you were wearing when she spoke to you that way you remember which way the wind was blowing because there's some things that hurt you so bad you'll never forget anything about it and i don't believe i have to be prophetic or have any anointing oil or talk in tongues to tell you that everyone in this place has come in carrying some wounds from what some other people have done to you they may be fresh and still sensitive or there may be a scar that is healing but all of us know what it's like to journey through life and be wounded deeply by people we never thought would treat us like that offense is inevitable it's kind of what jesus speaks when he says to his disciples in luke 17 that it's impossible for you to go through this life and offense not come that i don't care how saved and sanctified you are you will be mistreated now i know what you thought would happen when you joined church and gave your life to the lord that somehow maybe you would be granted some immunity from being disrespected and mistreated but at the end of the day i come and tell you even the saved saints of god know what it's like to be hurt christian writer john bevere says the defense and being wounded is really one of the most productive tools that the devil has to not only destroy relationships on earth but watch this to also destroy your relationship with the lord for when you have been hurt when you have been wounded when life has brought an offense your way the devil seeks to inflict a hurt on you so badly that it holds you hostage to past pain that he doesn't want you to pursue the great glorious future that the lord has for you what he rather would have you do is hold on to some unproductive feelings like anger and hurt and bitterness and strife because if he can incarcerate you in past pain it will keep you from pursuing a glorious future that god has for you and i can tell you this without any psychology degree on my resume holding on to past hurt is one of the most unproductive things you can do in life there is nothing godly that comes from holding on to anger and resentment and hatred and not only does he seek to damage you by incarcerating you into some past pain but through the offense through the hurt through the wounds through the words that were disrespectful the devil tries to put you in a place where you think you are unable or even better yet unwilling to forgive everyone in here knows what it's like to be hurt so badly that forgiving ain't on your agenda that you know what it's like to be cut so deeply that forgiving is not instinctive to you that that's that's not our natural response when people have done us wrong now now retaliation i got that revenge i'm good at that cussing you out i got a phd in costology i i know how to get even but forgiving that's hard to do that's why we're challenged when peter asked jesus now lord hold on hold on how many times do i have to forgive someone who's done me wrong and jesus says 70 times seven challenged when when jesus says to me listen if you don't forgive people when they've done you wrong then how do you expect god to forgive you of the wrong you've done for the lord that if you don't know how to forgive you don't hurt that other person you damage yourself and your relationship with the lord because god can't forgive those who don't know how to forgive i'm challenged when i see jesus on the cross dying and he has the power of god to say father forgive them for they know not what they do that's why you better be glad god didn't put me on the cross because i ain't got that in me but yet we are called to forgive and i'll suggest to you that learning to forgive is one of the most critical commandments of god on your life to release you from your past pain to usher you into a glorious future and to preserve intimacy in your relationship with god that you really have to learn to live above offense and develop a heart that is forgiving and that's what is launching me today into a series of syrmonic studies when we look at some snapshots in scripture that i believe are meant to help us live above the offense of life that is inevitable and develop our heart that is pleasing to the lord because we know how to forgive someone i want you to hear this that that the most pressing thing god is pushing on your life is to learn how to forgive matter of fact someone you came into church today and you know the lord has already been pushing in your ear let it go walk away learn to forgive so i want to begin a series today to carry us through the next few sermons about forgiving now if you hear what the series is about and your first response is you know exactly someone who needs to hear this you've missed the series already this is not something for you to buy and sow into someone else's life who needs to learn how to forgive and let go of something you did to them this is about you learning to rise above the offense that will come your way and learn how to forgive because i want to tell you that i believe every day someone is under demonic assignment to offend you every day the devil wakes somebody up to disrespect you if you think about it every day you have a reason to hold a grudge you've got a reason to be angry you've got a reason to hurt you've got a reason to hold on to it you've got a reason not to forgive even when you come to church the devil tries to do something to offend you and in order to live above it in order to rise above it and the first stop on this demonic series i want you to to journey with me into a lesson about offense and forgiveness it comes to us in the book of acts the fifth book of your new testament and if you would journey your way to the 15th chapter and navigate to the 36th verse as we hear the word of god as is read from acts chapter 15 beginning in verse number 36 and we ask if you're physically able that you stand with us as is our custom to reverence the reading of god's holy word acts chapter 15 beginning in verse number 36 if you're excited about the series and know that it's exactly what you need say amen if your neighbor didn't say anything lean over said he said say amen acts chapter 15 then after some days paul said to barnabas let us now go back and visit our brethren in every city we have preached the word of the lord and see how they are doing now barnabas was determined to take with them john called mark but paul insisted that they should not take with them the one who had departed from them in pamphilia and had not gone with them to do the work then the contention became so sharp that they parted from one another and so barnabas took mark and sailed to cyprus but paul chose silas and departed being commanded commended by the brethren to the grace of god today as we meditate and learn a little lesson of life i want to talk to you about forgiving what you can't forget you may be seated in the presence of the lord if i would ask you to describe the apostle paul any of us who've been in church in the amount of time would probably say that paul is our model of christian living as a matter of fact it's paul more than anyone else who teaches us what it means to follow after and walk in faith in jesus christ paul is the author of more than half the books of the new testament paul is that powerful preacher that pastor that counselor that theologian and there's some scholars who would argue that even above peter and james and john paul ought to get the mvp for early christianity for no one does as much for spreading the gospel of jesus christ like paul paul is a stellar saint but it might surprise you to find out that paul like many of us struggled with forgiving that paul had an issue with learning to let things go you see that most evidently in paul's relationship with a brother named john mark you probably better know him as mark yep the same one who writes the first gospel which is now the second book of your new testament that john mark had a relationship with paul that was quite contentious let me tell you the story of paul and mark so that you'll understand what happens in acts chapter 15. to understand paul's relationship with mark you've got to go back to acts chapter 7. in acts chapter 7 stephen deacon is stoned to death he is the first martyr of christianity and when the jews stoned stephen it causes panic in the disciples of jesus who then begin to flee to other cities to escape the same fate that befell stephen they go to different cities like cyprus and cyrene but it's in antioch where the christians have fled jerusalem where the gospel really begins to thrive these fugitives from jerusalem go to antioch and the gospel begins to grow in an unprecedented rate sinners are saved gentiles are converted as a matter of fact antioch is important in christian history because antioch is the first city and the first time the followers of jesus christ are called christians the term christian develops in antioch and the success of the gospel is so great in antioch earl that the disciples in jerusalem want to send a few brothers to antioch to be certain that things are growing decently and in order and that the gospel is being preached correctly and so jerusalem sends a brother by the name of barnabas barnabas ghost antioch finds out that not only are things well but that the gospel and the church is growing so fast that he needs some help so barnabas prays and barnabas decides that the brother he needs is a brother he knows by the name of paul paul is in tarsus barnabas goes to get paul you know paul the brother who started off as saul and was converted on the road to damascus in acts chapter 9. barnabas partners with paul to pastor the church in antioch while barnabas and paul are in antioch a prophet sent by god comes by the name of agabus agabus comes and tells the brethren that a famine is about to break out back in jerusalem and the christians in antioch are concerned about their brothers and sisters back in jerusalem and so mark they lift up a love offering that they want to send to a jerusalem and they send the love offering through barnabas and paul teach the bible pastor wesley barnabas and paul go back to jerusalem to deliver the love offering when they come back to antioch to their surprise barnabas and paul are not alone barnabas and paul are now accompanied by a young man named john mark john mark some scholars believe was a nephew or some blood relative of barnabas they picked him up in jerusalem and brought him back to antioch with them so now it's paul barnabas and mark fast forward to acts chapter 13 bible says that in antioch in acts chapter 13 the christians are praying and fasting and when they're praying and fasting the holy spirit shows up and the holy spirit says give me paul and barnabas for an assignment he has that paul and barnabas are ordained by the holy spirit to leave antioch and to sail to cities to preach the good news the holy spirit says go to purgos go to pamphylia go to iconium go to lystra go to derby and preach the good news of jesus christ and so paul and barnabas under the ordination of the holy spirit grabbed john mark and they sailed to begin preaching the good news are you with me the first stop on their journey is a little town called payphos and when they get to payphos they have a unpleasant run-in with a sorcerer named elimus who's also called bar jesus things get a little hot there's some tension but paul and barnabas work it out they have success in payfuls and then they sail to an island called pamphilia are you still with me when they get to pamphilia to their surprise mark tenders his letter of resignation and says this ain't for me they've been to one city they've had one issue and mark says no mark quits and now it's just paul and barnabas mark goes back to jerusalem and paul and barnabas keep on their journey they go to passitia they go to iconium they go to lystra they go to derby and they keep preaching the good news of jesus christ after their journey in acts chapter 15 stay with me they go to jerusalem to have a debate over the necessity of circumcision with the apostles in jerusalem after paul wins that debate the holy spirit says to him go back to the cities you just came from paphos pamphylia passidia iconium lystra and derby and see how the gospel is and paul tells barnabas we got to go back where we just came from barnabas says cool let me go get john mark and paul says oh oh no paul in acts 15 has not forgotten that mark left them in chapter 13 and paul is adamant that john mark will not go on this trip barnabas pushes back and says no john mark has to go and paul and barnabas argue about mark so deeply that they split ways and never work together again because in acts chapter 15 you see a paul who is not forgotten and has not forgiven paul refuses to partner with mark again and if you hang out here in this division between paul and barnabas you're gonna find a few real lessons about offense and forgiveness can i just drop three of them on you and pray that as you do your bible study at home the holy spirit add a few more watch what happens barnabas is adamant that that that john mark ought to come back on this trip paul doesn't want to deal with john mark anymore and barnabas kept pressing the issue because he believes that paul and mark ought to be able to work it out what barnabas doesn't understand and it's the first thing i drop on you today is that after some offense some relationships cannot be reconciled say that again pastor after an offense has happened some relationships cannot be reconciled hurt can be so damaging that relationships can't be restored that sometimes things don't go back to the way they were another reason that's a shock to some of you is because you are under the misguided conception that forgiveness automatically means reconciliation but there's nowhere in scripture where god equates forgiveness with being restored in the relationship you were in sometimes the break and the hurt is so deep that there's no way to go back to how it used to be and you need to know that biblically whatever forgiveness is and and next week we're going to deal with some definitions of forgiveness from the word of god but whatever forgiveness is watch this you can forgive and still not be reconciled forgiveness can be granted and restoration be denied that you are not ungodly if you decide that you're going to let it go but you don't want to be bothered with somebody anymore you are well within your christian right to look at someone who's damaged you and hurt you and say i forgive you but may the lord watch between me and thee while we are absent one from another listen i can forgive you but that doesn't mean we got to go out to lunch i can forgive you that doesn't mean we hang out together i can forgive you and still ignore your phone call because sometimes the relationship has got to come to an end can i push this a little bit now now the reason this example between paul and mark is so devastating is because paul and mark our sanctified brothers they go to church mark has a book of the bible named after him paul writes half the books of the new testament and you would think on paper if any two folk ought to be able to work together it's paul and mark and so barnabas makes the assumption that hurts so many people in life today just because it looks good on paper doesn't mean it's ordained by god hear me just because it looked like it ought to work doesn't mean that god says it has to work stay with me stay with me i'm gonna prove my point you you've got two categories of people in your life let me tell you who they are you've got people god has assigned to your life and you've got people you just allowed in your life here you've got people god has providentially placed in your world and then you got some jokers you just let in there's some folk people there's some people in your world god has an assignment for them in your life and then there's some people you just kicking it with and sometimes god orchestrates and allows an offense to break a relationship he never ordained for you in the first place okay okay okay okay you guys say man i got biblical proof can i give you biblical proof when you go home re-read acts chapter 13 and here's what you're gonna find it says the holy spirit showed up and said give me paul and barnabas and they took john mark okay one more time you almost got it the holy spirit said i want paul and barnabas to hook up and then paul and barnabas took john mark can't say a third time's charm god ordained paul and barnabas to be together but john mark came by their own invitation john mark was never ordained by god to be part of the partnership of paul and barnabas and sometimes the offense comes for god to exit out of your life people he never ordained to be part of his plan well you better preach pastor and you can't force in partnership what god hasn't created in providence the bible says that which god has joined together but there's some stuff you got in god ain't got nothing to do with it and the offense comes to break you from people god didn't ordain for you now now now watch what happens i i want to make sure i'm true to scripture so paul and barnabas break up paul and barnabas don't work together anymore the amazing thing about it is that after this break you never hear about barnabas again paul never reconciles himself to barnabas because some relationships cannot be restored but here's a tripped out thing if you read paul's letters and you read second timothy second timothy is the letter paul writes to timothy his son in the ministry when he's about to die and in his dying letter to timothy he says to him in chapter 4 timothy i need you to come see me he says everyone i count on has abandoned me demas has left me christians has left me titus has left me as a matter of fact paul says the only one still with me is luke yes the same luke who writes the third book of the new testament paul and luke are together paul tells timothy come see me and watch what he tells paul watch what paul tells timothy in 2nd timothy 4 he says when you come see me bring mark with you because mark is useful to me so watch us he breaks from barnabas and never reconciles but in his dying days he wants to deal with mark again so the relationship that was broken in acts 15 paul now desires to restore when he's getting ready to die now what has happened why does paul want mark in his dying days but doesn't want to deal with barnabas i don't know but i can tell you what has happened you ready time that an extended amount of time has passed between acts 15 when paul doesn't want to deal with mark and second timothy 4 when paul asks to see mark because not only can some relationships not be restored but what's the second point you can't rush reconciliation sometime it takes time and that's a word because when you are the offender and you're the one that's done something wrong you want people to forgive you right away and you want them to go back to the way it used to be and then you're going to get sanctified them and say i thought you were a christian but here's what teach scripture teaches one every relationship you are in cannot be reconciled and two the ones that can be you can't rush restoration pastor you teach in the day you teach and teach teach teach now let's move on here's here's something that really kind of bothers me if you look in the bible at any relationship that was productive you'll be hard-pressed to find any relationship more productive than paul and barnabas paul and barnabas together get the job done when when paul is converted from saul and goes to jerusalem to try to become an apostle and peter and them don't want to have nothing to do with paul guess who vouched for paul and recommended him so that paul could be accepted barnabas when the church at antioch is growing and barnabas needs help guess who barnabas goes to get paul when the gospel is spread in cities like iconium and leicester and derby and presidio guess who the tag team preachers for revival were paul and barnabas when when paul is stoned in derby and left for dead guess who lays hands on him and brings him back to life barnabas there's no relationship in the bible as productive as paul and barnabas paul and barnabas go together like collard greens and cornbread carl paul and barnabas they they go together like like hell melvin in the blue notes you can't have one without the other this is a productive relationship but paul's unwillingness to forgive mark causes him to lose his partnership with barnabas here's point number two of the sermon that an unforgiving heart will cause you to lose other productive relationships in your life an unforgiving heart will cause you to lose other productive relationships in your life can i teach for a little bit barnabas wants john mark paul doesn't and paul makes a real critical mistake paul forces barnabas to choose between him and mark and he assumes joe that surely barnabas is going to choose me only to find out that barnabas has a deeper attachment to mark than he does paul let me pause and just say to you you better be careful of being so unforgiving that you make people choose between you and someone else because you may be surprised who they think they need more than you let me tell you why that's such a real word because when you've been hurt when you've been wounded when you've been offended and you won't forgive you naturally have an issue with anybody else who favors the person who hurt you go and preach fast and your unforgiving heart can't sit still with people who like the one you won't forgive go some give an example so so so let's say sister sally does you wrong sister sally hurts you and you won't forgive watch how the devil's going to work to make you unproductive in relationships in life so now you have a heart that is holding on to a pain that sally gave you and you walk in a room you come to choir rehearsal and everybody's talking about how much they like sister sally and your unforgiving heart can't stand to hear somebody talk about sally so now you got to tell everybody the real truth about sally because you need everybody else to not like her the same way you don't like her after all you just telling the truth and as a result the people who like sally now don't want to be bothered with you hear me write this down tweet it correctly an unforgiving heart makes you an unattractive person an unforgiving heart makes you an unattractive person when you won't forgive you become unattractive and people don't want to deal don't nobody want to be around someone who's always angry who's always ugly who's always telling stuff on other folk who's always fussing about who did what and how they did you wrong don't nobody want to hear all of that bitterness makes you ugly an unforgiving heart makes you someone other folk don't want to deal with but watch the flip side you will never be criticized for letting stuff go you'll never be judged for walking in dignity and not getting in the dirt of revenge you will never be fired for letting stuff go and not holding a grudge and not having a bad attitude god will never judge you for forgiving somebody for something that they did against you that hurt you you are your most productive when you have a forgiving heart and you learn to let stuff roll off your back you walk in the room and say that is what it is it's over let's keep moving that when you have an unforgiving heart you cannot foster productive relationships in your life so number one every relationship can't be reconciled and you can't rush restoration point number two an unforgiving heart makes you an unattractive person point number three i'll finish up here is that an unforgiving heart is also an ungrateful heart that when you don't forgive watch this you literally are saying you're not grateful watch what happens mark leaves paul and barnabas in acts chapter 13 and paul is hurt by it i get that paul feels disrespected i get that paul is angry i get that and by the time we get to chapter 15 paul is still holding on to the anger of what john mark did the problem is that he seems to forget everything god has done since mark heard him so when you go home and read from acts 13 to 15 i want you to take note of everything god did for paul after mark heard him look at all the cities god gave him safe travel to after mark heard him after mark heard him they sailed from pamphilia to pasidia after mark heard him they sailed from presidio to iconium after mark heard him they sell from iconium to lystra after mark heard him they sell from leicester to derby after mark heard him they sell from derby back to antioch after mark heard him they sell from antioch to jerusalem after mark heard him they went from jerusalem back to antioch god gave him travel through 12 different cities after mark hurtum after mark heard him look at the success of the gospel after mark heard him they preached the good news and the whole city in passinia came to hear paul preach after mark hurt him the bible says the holy ghost filled thousands of disciples in iconium after mark hurt him he preached the good news in lystra and raised the crippled brother after mark hurt him the disciples were filled with joy and had evidence of the holy spirit after mark hurt him look at how god protected him after mark heard him after mark heard him he was stoned in derby and god allowed him to survive after mark hurt him he went to jerusalem and had a debate with peter and won a debate with peter in jerusalem all of that after mark hurt him so here's the question paul what did you lose when you lost mark because it seems to me even though he hurt you god still blessed you even though mark broke you the lord still put you back together even though mark disrespected you the lord still gave you more than what you deserved here's here it is in simple form don't let your bitterness of what they did to you cause you to be ungrateful for what god has done for you say that again pastor don't let your bitterness of what they did to you be greater than your gratefulness of what the lord has done for you can i preach right here somebody today i know folk have hurt you i know someone did you wrong i know your heart has been hurt i know you're wounded by what went down i get all of that but let me ask you another question in spite of what they did has the lord been good to you in spite of what they said did the lord bless you anyhow in spite of how much it hurt did god make a way anyhow and if you know how good god has been don't come in bitter come in grateful cause god bless you in spite of it i i need some saints in here who know that it hurt but god was still good and here is the omnipotence of god their hurt can never hinder his hand that whatever they have done god is still on the throne god is still working things out god is still being good to you don't be ungrateful just because you were hurt listen i'm really excited about this teaching next week we're going to get into some biblical definitions of forgiveness because i think many of us have the wrong understanding of what it means to forgive from a biblical sense we're going to set you free to be able to forgive next week but i want to put forth a challenge to you today to learn to forgive what you can't forget that it may never be restored and you've got to be all right with that and if it does it may take some time and don't allow yourself to be unattractive because you are unforgiving one of the most critical things god desires of you is a heart that forgives quickly and easily whatever you do don't allow what they did to you cause you to forget what god has done for you that god has blessed you in spite of what they said in spite of what they did and he is worthy to be praised you

Channel: Alfred Street Baptist Church

Views: 294,399

Keywords: Alfred Street Baptist Church, Rev. Dr. Howard-John Wesley, Forgiving What You Can't Forget, 2015, Part 1, Sermon (Literature Subject), Hope, Religion (TV Genre), John Wesley (Founding Figure)

Id: UJTML9jhUOc

Length: 41min 20sec (2480 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 09 2015