The Expert (Short Comedy Sketch)

our company has a new strategic initiative to increase market penetration maximize brand loyalty and enhance intangible assets in pursuit of these objectives we start a new project for to require seven red lines I understand your company can help us in this matter of course water here will be the project manager water we can do this come we yes of course Anderson here is our expert on all matters related to the drawing red lines we've brought him along today to share his professional opinion nice to meet you well you all know me this is Justine our company's design specialist hello we need you to draw seven red lines all of them is strictly perpendicular some with green ink and somewhat transparent can you do that no I'm afraid let's not rush into any hasty answers Anderson the task has been set it needs to be carried out at the end of the day you are an expert the term red line implies the color of the line to be red to draw a red line with green ink is well if it's not exactly impossible it's pretty close to being impossible what does that even mean impossible it's possible there are some people say suffering from colorblindness for whom the color of the lines doesn't really make a difference but I'm quite sure that the target audience of your project doesn't consist solely of such people this is possible I'll simplify line as such can be drawn with absolutely any ink but if you want to get a red line you need to use red ink why don't we draw them with blue ink it still won't work if you use blue ink you'll get blue lines and what exactly did you mean when you talked about the transparent mmm how does it explain I'm sure you know what transparent means yes I do and what a red line means I hope I don't need to explain to you what you need to draw a red line with transparent ink do you describe what do you imagine the end result would look like come on Anderson what do we got here kindergarden let's not waste our time with these unproductive quarrels the task has been set the task is plain and clear now if you have any specific questions then go ahead you only answer that here oh right let's leave aside the color for the moment you had something there also relating to perpendicularity seven lines all strictly perpendicular - what - everything amongst themselves I assumed you know what - Papa take your lines alike of course he does he's an expert two lines can be perpendicular all seven can be simultaneously perpendicular to each other oh I'll show you this is a line right yes and another is it perpendicular to the first line well yes it is perpendicular exactly wait wait I'm not done and a third one is it perpendicular to the first line yes it is but it doesn't cross the second line they're both parallel not perpendicular suppose so there it is two lines can be perfect no in the pen how about this this is a triangle it's definitely not perpendicular lines and they're three not seven why they blue indeed it was that myself that's the problem your lines are blue draw them with red ink it won't solve the problem but how do you know before you've tried let's draw them with red ink then let's see hmm I don't ever repent with me but I'm completely certain that with red ink the result will still be the same didn't you tell us early did you could only draw red lines with red ink down here and now you want to draw them with blue ink that you want us to call these red lines you know you you're not talking about the color now right you're talking about that and what do you call it a perpendicular what exactly is stopping us from doing this geometry just ignore it we have a tusk seven red lines it's not twenty it's just seven and as I understand you're a specialist of a narrow field you don't see the overall picture but surely it's not a difficult task to draw some seven lines exactly suggest a solution without any fool can criticize no offense but you're an expert and you should know better okay let me draw you two perfectly perpendicular red lines and I will draw the rest with transparent ink they'll be invisible but I'll draw them would this suit us yes this will suit us yes but at least a couple with green ink oh and I have another question if I may can you draw one of the lines in the form of a kitten one in the form of a kittens market research tells us our users like cute animals it would be really great if we didn't know but why look I can of course draw you a cat no artist I can give it a try but it won't be a line anymore it'll be a cat a line in a cat these are two different things a kitten not a cat kitten their little cute cuddly cats on the other hand I won't make a difference I understand at least hit her out she doesn't even finish speaking and you're ready saying no I got the idea but it's impossible to draw a line in the form of a cat turn what about a bird so where do we stop what are we doing seven red lines are two with red ink two with green ink and the rest with transparent did I understand correctly yes excellent in which case that's everything right oh I almost forgot we also have a red balloon do you know if you could inflate it what do I have to do with balloons it's red Anderson can you or can you not do this a simple question guess such I can of course but excellent organize a business trip we'll cover the expenses go over to their location inflate the balloon well this is very productive thank you all can I ask you one more question please when you inflate the balloon could you do it in the form of a kitten of course I can I can do anything I can do absolutely anything I'm an expert

Channel: Lauris Beinerts

Views: 25,647,661

Rating: 4.9162202 out of 5

Keywords: Sketch Comedy (TV Genre), corporate, Short Film (TV Genre), Satire (TV Genre), Farce (TV Genre), Funny, #7redlines, expert, Engineer (Job Title), Designer (Project Role), Семь, красных, линий, Comedy (TV Genre), comedy, эксперт, the expert, i'm an expert, i am an expert, you are the expert, the experts, meeting, el experto, short, sketch, funny, 7 red lines, seven red lines, red lines, 7 perpendicular red lines, seven perpendicular lines, short comedy sketch, lauris beinerts, film, #expert

Id: BKorP55Aqvg

Length: 7min 34sec (454 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 23 2014

Reddit Comments

[u/SXOSXO]

This isn't limited to I.T. My managers and supervisors are exactly this way, but this video neglects to point out how they try to point fingers when their impossible requests inevitably fail.

[u/[deleted]]

How about working in a hotel.

Corporate: "this company needs 22 rooms for a month"

Me: "but we only have 10 rooms and only for 10 days, then we are fully booked"

Corporate: "its fine, just set up the reservations and *we'll make it work"

Me: "uhhh"

*you'll

[u/ArchDucky]

This happened a month ago...

Boss : We need a laptop with an express card for $500.
Me : OK, I'll look.
(A few hours later)
Me : They don't really make laptops with express cards anymore.
Boss : But we need an express card.
Me : I found one for $800 but it's a custom order.
Boss : $800 is too much I told you $500.
Me : Then we can't buy one.
Boss : but we need it.
Me : You just said it cost too much.
Boss : This isn't hard.
(Pulls up Amazon and starts clicking laptops)
Boss : Now I'm doing your job.
Me : That's an Android tablet.
Boss : That won't work?
Me : No, plus it doesn't have an express card.
Boss : What's that then?!?
Me : USB port.
Boss : THIS ISNT MY JOB JUST FIND IT!
Me : I looked, we can spend $800 and get one now or we can not buy one ever.
Boss : $800 is too much! Why can't we use this?
Me : Again, that's Android doesn't have the required port and will not work at all for us.
Boss : You're just saying that because it's not fast gamer shit.
Me : I'm saying that because it needs to be Windows 7 with an Express Card Slot.
Boss : Just get out of my office.
(Five minutes later he sent me the same tablet again with the subject line "I wish I could do my job instead of yours")

It went on for two more days and we bought the $800 Laptop. When it showed up he told four separate people we can't afford ______ because we had to buy a laptop.

[u/thebatoutofhell]

100% have been in this exact position, this guy's role is of a Sales Engineer. Their role is to do a "technical sale or demo" to the decision makers. Every element of this client meeting has been embodied with disturbing accuracy.

My favorite part is when the Sales Rep snaps back from his day dream, every sales rep I work with does this.

[u/nicokeano]

Saw this on a programmers desk today in work, made me giggle

http://ntschutta.com/images/dilbert_agile.png

[u/[deleted]]

There's a solution to this using red paper cut into a Möbius strip. But I can't find the video just yet.

Edit: found it

[u/RiTu1337]

Those worthless buzzwords gave me ebola

[u/Firenter]

Am programmer, can confirm clients always come with ridiculous demands.

[u/frogamic]

The same thing happens with parents:

Mother: I'm having a problem with Pinterest where it won't let me scroll down.

Me: oh that's annoying

Me: tries a few simple things, restart and update browser, disable addons, clear cache

Mother: Can't you fix it?

Me: Nope it seems to be a problem at their end, there's literally nothing I can do.

Mother: You have a Computer Science degree, you should be able to fix this.

Me: I specialised in low level operating system and embedded programming, I have no clue how to debug a website.

Mother: Why are you always so reluctant to help me? You're just being deliberately difficult.