The Cleveland Browns - Professional Football's Lolcow

this is the best week of the season for the Cleveland Browns why it's their bye week is there truly a more pathetic franchise than the Cleveland Browns a culmination of years upon years upon years of bad trades drafting and management decisions is finally upon him they have a chance for dubious immortality at Owen 16 tying the 2008 Detroit Lions for gross incompetence on a football field if you follow NFL football they need no introduction if not here's a brief dossier of what happened to their franchise in the mid-1990s [Music] frankly him down to a simple proposition I had no choice [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] yeah this team had been [ __ ] on by the football gods enough back then what with the title drought the fumble River fire the drive and the glorious tenure of one Andre Rison so there were several years of football dormancy in Cleveland after being completely but [ __ ] by Art Modell little would they know that this would be their golden age I mean they got the franchise back Drew Carey was on the field pumping up the dog pound they got the quarterback of the future in Tim Couch truly they would be on their way to returning to football relevance and then they get [ __ ] stomped in their home opener by the Steelers great start but it's just one game and they're our new franchise that was a fluke and then Dwayne Rudd decides to forget he's on a football field and allows the Chiefs to kick the game-winning field goal at the end of regulation but it's only one season the football gods can't [ __ ] on them every single year [Music] bottle gate gross incompetence by NFL officials first round pick decides to be a [ __ ] idiot crashes motorcycle in parking lots first round pick decides to be a [ __ ] idiot gets into numerous confrontations with the law first round pick decides to be Johnny football and insult to the term [ __ ] idiots [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] staph infections more staph infections the staph infection known as Johnny football sign the top center of the free-agent class who suffers a career-ending injury on the first play of training camp and he also got a staph infection you are a factory of sadness signing perennial underachiever Dwayne Bowe four nine million dollars to make five catches five a revolving carousel of head coaches general managers and quarterbacks are G's up wait here e injured himself walking to the podium never mind and that's just some of the more egregious stuff from the revived Browns let's not even get into the draft let's draft a quarterback and let him get completely pummeled and destroy his confidence make him so forgettable that fans cheer him being injured let's draft the big-name defensive end we will be incredibly shocked when he's nowhere near as good as advertised a defensive tackle that perfectly epitomizes the Browns zero [ __ ] given let's draft a running back we have no other holes on this team linemen from Notre Dame we can't lose big game wide receiver yes please only one teensy little problem he's not exactly the greatest teammate and he can't really catch linebacker and he doesn't suck let's treat him Joe Thomas and let's trade next year's first for another quarterback down done yes you are Brady you were done the moment you put on a Browns jersey one of the best first-round picks Cleveland has ever made no.1 congratulations you have two fifths of a good offensive line here's a truly elite cornerback let's waste his career it's almost as if we know what we're doing now and the football gods took a gigantic [ __ ] on it Trent [ __ ] Richardson it is truly a sight to behold like a horrific car crash and for good measure let's draft a 28 year old quarterback in the first round that won't backfire at all and underachieving linebacker let's trade him for scraps to radioactive cancers for the price of one sold they have major maturity issues and may not actually care about football who cares we've got Johnny [ __ ] football what's that he spent six figures on an analysis of the best quarterback in the draft and they said it was Teddy Bridgewater the human turnstile known as cammer Bing and Dennis Shelton with the magical power to instantly disappear [ __ ] this team has been managed by locales some of the players have been colossal locales and they make knee-jerk decisions which are usually made by locals they are as a collective a gigantic locale even when they try to cheat they are unbelievably incompetent this team is where players and coaches go to die the city has become so radioactive two football players and coaches you would think you were in Chernobyl and the sad part is I don't believe this is ending soon why this man the local version of Jerry Jones say what you will about Jerry the man helped to build a dynasty in the 1990s what is Haslem accomplished scandals and corruption he wanted to go in guns a-blazing and change everything and he did nearly every single year the man has been through more head coaches in his tenure than the Pittsburgh Steelers have had in almost 50 years maybe I'll be wrong if we can look back on this video as an archive of what was honestly I want them to start winning it's about time we look at the Browns as more than a recurring punchline that there once incredible rivalries with the Steelers and Bengals can actually be competitive again and create another massive rivalry with the Baltimore Ravens I think a well-run browns franchise would be great for football if Donald Trump can become president then even Cleveland can be a good football team or the football gods will continue to use them and the factory of sadness is their personal toilet [Music]

Channel: UrinatingTree

Views: 1,573,456

Keywords: Cleveland Browns, Browns, Cleveland, Lolbrowns, Lolcleveland, American Football, Laughingstock, Terrible Football Teams, Jimmy Haslam, NFL

Id: vdZHqHzmna0

Length: 7min 42sec (462 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 01 2016