The Browns live in Hell | Chart Party

if we ever discover evidence of a divine power where will we find it perhaps we'll see it in miracles and majestic works or perhaps we'll see it in the poetry of suffering perhaps the Cleveland Browns have already found it it feels planned even demanded [Music] on December 10th 2017 the Browns lost their 14th consecutive game at this point they had won just one of their last 32 games and two of their last 40 games in a league of considerable parity this is unheard of about half the league is squeezed between 19 and 23 wins in a span no team should be losing like this even when they win the Browns scraped the bottom of the barrel their last one came against the 2016 chargers who went 5 and 11 that season the last one prior to that was against the 2015 49ers who also finished 511 and then the 5 and 11 Ravens and the 3 and 13 Titans before that in the 6 and 10 Falcons before that and here they beat the 10 win Bengals in order to find the last time the Browns beat a team with a winning record we had to go back in time more than 3 years let's pull the curtain all the way back to 1999 when the Browns were resurrected they're about to complete their 19th season since then and in these 19 seasons they have 20 wins against a winning team total that's about one per year on average for nearly two decades they're like starving buzzards they rarely get to eat as their winning percentage is only 292 across their entire lifespan but even the quality of their diet is poor across the NFL teams with losing records actually do about 59% of the losing the Browns diet is 70% saturated losing their prey is usually already dead this isn't a huge surprise a bad team is really bad at beating good teams but it does give us something to consider this team almost never chalks up a relevant win a single win can't change their situation that ship sailed years ago but they could at least make a dent in the playoff race for other teams they don't even do that the final regular season games week 14 through week 17 are the high-stakes games this is where a team makes or breaks its playoff chances failing that it at least hopefully gets to play the spoiler for the other team by the end of the season the Browns will have played 76 of these games first let's count up the games in which the Browns were still technically alive in a playoff race and won they won three of their last four in 2002 to reach the postseason they lost their first and only playoff game they have never been back five years later the Browns won three of the last four to post there only ten wins he's in in franchise history and yet they still missed the playoffs historically more than 80% of 10 when teams make the playoffs not even luck is on their side over the last ten seasons the Browns have played 40 of these away season games and they've only won one of them in which they were playoff eligible even that one was strictly a technicality after winning this game they were five and eight and virtually eliminated but since they were technically alive in a playoff race I'd begrudgingly included them here now we can move on to the games in which the Browns were playoff eligible but lost that day they lost but at least the loss of meaningful they effected their destiny in a meaningful way failing that if the Browns were already completely out of the race they could at least beat a team that was in the race and play the role of spoiler they've done that a few times but only a few times in the rest of these games the Browns failed to accomplish anything meaningful not only were they out of the race they didn't beat anyone else to alter the AFC's playoff picture in these December games the most pivotal regular-season games for an NFL team they usually do nothing and change nothing they're a carbon-neutral football team they're the NFL's invisible team this is even true in the literal sense I've counted up three things first every team's total playoff game appearances since 1999 I added there Monday Night Football appearances up until 2005 after which it moved off Network television and Sunday Night Football became the marquee game of the week what I'm doing here in other words is counting up every time a team has been in front of a national non cable audience as you'd probably guess the Patriots lead with sixty nine appearances forty-six of which they won obviously the network's play favorites but almost every team shows up here with at least 20 appearances good for an average of at least one national appearance per year what you're seeing here is a total of 1022 appearances on national network television of which the Browns have three the Lions have lost all 11 of their appearances but at least they've gone out there the Bills have only been out there four times but at least they won one of them the Browns have been in front of the whole country three times a playoff game after the 2002 season Monday Night Football appearance in 2003 and a Sunday Night Football appearance in 2008 they lost them all the Browns haven't played in front of America in nearly 10 years the Browns have won in front of America ever they're invisible the Browns are ghosts and like any good ghosts they let us know they're here through sacrilegious parlor games such as the NFL Draft a pagan ritual in which everyone pretends to know the future and almost no one actually knows what they're doing the topic of this ridiculous exercise is awarded to the previous year's worst team in 2000 and 2017 that was the Browns in 2018 it almost certainly will be again in 1999 they were awarded the top pick because they were an expansion team in between is a mishmash of other teams who are not the Browns the thing is six of those teams lost to the Browns that year prior and remember that in these years losing to the Grounds was pretty difficult to do a couple of these Browns teams were decent but some were awful these teams still found a way it's as though losing to them as a rite of passage if you want to claim you're the worst team in the NFL you have to prove it by losing to the Browns but in the end nobody is worse than the Browns this is the point differential of every team year by year over the last decade the teams above zero have scored more points than they've allowed the teams below have allowed more points than they've scored the Patriots as you might imagine break this chart the Browns are the only team to get worse every single season they're now more than 1,000 points in debt for a while they were kept company by their partners in misery the Jaguars and the Rams but even those two teams have had enough both the Jags and the Rams are almost certain to make the playoffs this season because no team can stay bad forever except of course the Browns they are far and away the worst expansion team of their era in any sport it's tough being an expansion team but after 20 years most of them are hovering just below a 500 lifetime winning percentage if not there at least trending in that direction four years after they were found in the Browns got to about 325 and then they put it in park for more than 15 years the Browns will tell you that they were not founded they will tell you the lie that was told to them that when the Browns moved to Baltimore in 1996 and became the Ravens they left behind their history for the new Browns to reclaim this is absurd history is a collection of objective facts not a chain of grocery stores they can't simply be acquired and rebranded this act of reckoning is completely illegitimate the truth is in 1999 the Browns were born as ghosts they will forever be ghosts of the best versions of themselves the Browns they could have been just a few years after moving to Baltimore in 1996 the real Browns aka the Ravens won their first Super Bowl in 2012 they won another they're a regular fixture in the postseason since moving they won 15 playoff games good for fourth most in the NFL by just about any measure they are one of the best teams in football failure normally carries the faintest of silver linings at least you aren't tormented by the knowledge of what might have been but the Browns misery transcends our rational plan year after year they share a division with their mirror image and get flattened twice a year just last Sunday they lost to the Ravens yet again the Browns are now 9 and 29 lifetime against Baltimore I looked up every all-time head-to-head record of every team versus every other team with a minimum sample size of 32 games I found 254 such records with a winning percentage of 237 the Browns record against the Ravens by a wide margin is the very worst one this is not happenstance this is not a simple pattern of failure this is not inspirational this is active malicious torment this is hell in these 19 years of hell the Browns roster has been overhauled many times over they've trotted out 14 first strain quarterbacks they've named eight official head coaches nine general managers they've had three different owners they rebooted their entire franchise they built a new stadium what is left to change two things the place Cleveland in the name Browns but there is a reason just one reason for Browns fans to take heart I'm just kidding [Music]

Channel: Secret Base

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Keywords: chart party, jon bois, cleveland browns, nfl, worst nfl teams, factory of sadness, hue jackson, jimmy haslam, john dorsey, deshone kizer, johnny manziel, joe thomas, afc north, baltimore ravens, pittsburgh steelers, cincinnati bengals, browns quarterbacks, sb nation, nfl history, best nfl stats, historical nfl videos, browns playoffs

Id: _gZndxEvFNk

Length: 9min 11sec (551 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 21 2017