(bell ringing) - An essential part of
awakening spiritually, is going beyond... a conceptualized sense of self and living in a conceptual reality. And, of course, all that implies being identified with thinking because concepts are thoughts. So, for many people, the question arises, how do I see myself? And there's a very common
problem people have, and that's called self-esteem. What value do I have? What value does my life have compared to others? Some years ago, the Dalai
Lama was asked by somebody about self-esteem, and he didn't understand
the word self-esteem. And somebody, the interpreter,
spent several minutes trying to explain to him
the meaning of self-esteem and he just couldn't get it. (audience laughs) Now, of course, you might say, "Well, if I were the Dalai Lama, "I wouldn't have a problem
with self-esteem either." But that's not it. Self-esteem, in the way in which it's
conventionally used, is comparative, and it's always connected to ego. How do I rate myself relative to others? Either in achievement,
worldly achievement, abilities, knowledge, physical appearance, physical strengths, good looks, bad looks, fat, thin. And usually it's related to what you have, possessions, what you can do, abilities, what you know, knowledge, and physical appearance. And that's an interesting... thing when you look at your
life from that point of view. There's always a sense of unease because there are always others who are better, at least
some of these, than you are. And then there are others who are worse. I would suggest that the
only healthy self-esteem is a self-esteem that is derived from a deeper place
than any of those things that usually make up a
person's self-esteem. How you look, what you can do, your knowledge or your abilities. Or even weird things like who you know. (Eckhart chuckles)
(audience giggles) The strangest thing make
up a person's self-esteem. And sometimes it's based in some kind of reality, of course. And, in many other cases,
it's a total fiction, but the ego needs that. So if you are, let's say you're not good
at anything in particular. There's nothing much that you can do. You're not wealthy, don't have much, don't have a lot of knowledge,
haven't written many books, don't look great, (audience laughs) and your body is not that great, neither your facial appearance
nor your body are that great. What do you do then? I hope there's nobody
in this room who thinks, "Oh, that's me." (audience laughs)
(Eckhart laughs) Usually, first of all, usually, the ego would
create a certain narrative to compensate for that
feeling of inferiority in an attempt to create some sense, at least in one area of superiority. So I would suggest there is no, in that use, in that sense,
there is no healthy self-esteem. The only healthy self-esteem is not derived from how you look, or how physically strong you are, or your abilities in whatever area, or your possessions, or the knowledge that you have acquired, or any other things. Your family background. In some countries, that's
a very important thing. Who is your family? Your grandfather, your great-grandfather. They have that sense that
determines their self-esteem. In the West, especially in the New World, North America, maybe South
America too, Central America, that sense of family
history is not as strong. But if you go to Europe, there's still quite a few people who have very high self-esteem, and that's derived from the
existence of their ancestors. They've never done anything, (audience laughs) but their ancestors did. You have to go a little
deeper into yourself, and true self-esteem is not comparative. It's not, "I am better than or less than." Quite simply, that sense
of value, of worthiness, is derived from that deeper place of, quite simply, your presence. The presence of you, the
presence of consciousness. If you can sense that presence of you, you don't need to compare
yourself anymore to anybody else. You know that that is who you are in your essence, and no narrative is required anymore in your mind to justify your existence, or to explain who you are
in relation to others. (water flowing)
