I Feel I feel like I just saw these guys I Was here earlier playing Mario Kart with Gus you know I played Mario part about once about every 20 years Yeah, still managed to kick his ass you be Gus I beat them three matches out of like eight Hello everyone This this is off topic if I'm correct episode number 99 One away, you know that means what's that one more episode till we kill the show oh yeah, it's dead so also though You know what you can't do back at the office we Yeah, we don't have those kind of bar stools. Yeah, you should get better stools. Yeah well I mean mine's pretty nice yours nice this bullshit. Cuz I brought it in myself Fat douche a yeah Let me get lined up here. Oh, okay. Got my own drink. Don't worry. I requested it do I have a bald spot oh Is this yes, I have way more here look look back What happened to my head I dude? I got no look at this full head of hair on me look at this Oh, that's bad. That's real bad that you can only cover from that too. I'm gonna need a toupee yeah, I'm gonna spread, and I'm 30 look at this I Got a little dot you got a frickin old dot what an exciting show you guys came out for As you couldn't see the back of our heads back at home This is a so we're gonna spend about the next 90 minutes talking about male pattern baldness. Yep. It's uh. It's an epidemic He knows he knows So are you are you bald bite by stylistic choice? No absolutely not the correct answer would have been like yeah, sure should we have a pulled off? Yeah, why hey? How do you? What's up, Balder than him? It just gets to the point where in the bold off everyone ties because there's no hat all right Here's what I want to know I want to know if this is the largest off-topic Audience wise you ever done so and I don't know what the attendance is or anything, so we're gonna need to do a count So I figure if we started That in and we have everybody Like say, I'm one too, and what does go till we get through the room? I'll hear some Bev's We got it back home. It comes out of the wall. Yeah Jesus Christ Jesus Christ I spilt they told me right before I came out here. Don't spill Oh cause of all the you know There's pneumonia. I'm walking pneumonia You're like walking an idiot. Okay. That's true. This is true Yeah, did we need a bottle opener probably right has anyone got an opener? Probably Do this Don't Jeff Jeff That's not I'm gonna take the whole thing down never will I know you will you destroy this place hey by the way in case In case you didn't know it. Thank you very much nice shit He just he took your keys you guys your car now, and you can't even drive If you're unaware I am your host Michael Jones, thank you No what the fuck is happening joining me here Gavin free hello And of course the infamous animal killer Geoff Ramsey But you know what this is the first time I've ever been in the UK ever Welcome. Yeah, I got my passport like five years ago cuz I might have come here And then I went to like seven other places before I came here. What do you think of the United Kingdom? I think it's pretty top You know it's funny. You're saying about animal killing. They had little cub thing I was trying to think about having the animal killing Nick knew I haven't killed any animals between now and the last time over has Nori, but I do have an interesting observation Griffin that lady I'm currently married to yeah, yeah She uh she was in Germany recently I'm like a carving thing Oh God, and she was like I'm going hunting and I was like what okay? And then she showed me a picture of a dead deer and I was like oh shit Did you shoot and kill a deer and she said no I helped How do you help like did she hold it down was she skinned the tail maybe someone shot it And she like slit his throat. He's like no I flashed my tits. It was confused and the guy shot it I don't know like how do you help guys? how it confused me like I wrestled it to the ground and he walked over in like Boosh I Don't know how do you help kill a deer we have a we have a MC see? What we got - I? Just thought they're extras I wanted to hold the seat open for Jeremy If Jeremy wants to he can do whatever he wants got an open invitation ie you just kind of fucked him. There's no pressure He doesn't lie to him. I didn't do it doesn't come up Jeremy's not required. It's not in his contract He's here for fun. He doesn't have to come up He does have to help Doesn't have to entertain or please the audience in any way you know we could just wait while he doesn't do that yeah Yeah, it's fine. It's fine but I'm not going to be disappointed. These said I see him every day, but I don't live I See I see enough of them I guess 30 minutes with Jeremy every day because we get into the work before everybody else without a quiet time. That's true That's where you sit next to each other and don't talk to each other no no no no or maybe you go Jeremy or my Favorite I talk to Jeremy and he ignores me I go hey. Yeah what you last night All right, do you know what are you playing over there? Well, okay. It's probably cuphead last two weeks is what he was he goes I was in points income pin He didn't you know didn't get this he reported humour so we may have We may have done a play piles in that game We did we did it's fucking terrible. I may have inadvertently brought back ragequit you did Dude, I started playing that game and even beat it. I started playing it I'm like Isis like this could be annoying, but this is actually kind of fun. I played a little bit. I'm like I'll do play balls with Gavin, and he'll suck and I'll be really funny fucking infuriating. Yeah, we were filming uh Some do we do like a let's watch in something? And I know what it was what you were doing a video while we were going in the other room I know what it was. What was it it's like an early thing. Oh, I think is that it I think we can't talk about I don't know I wasn't there I Just knew you like you had to do a four person thing. Then me and Gavin are like we'll go shoot this Yeah, I guess so anyway And we rapped and you guys are still going and I like it and like when we're making noise I can't hear other people may be stopped And I could I get the wall, but like the window between the offices was shaking a little bit from your anger And I thought I would not want to be Gavin right now I don't know what's going on, but it can't be good for him. Yeah I think I was just looking down at the ground. Just like it was absurd But we are here we're in England in England in London To be precise. I'm um. Yeah, it's the Docklands waiter shut up. Don't take this from me, okay? I'm from fucking, New Jersey. This is London all right Pacific this is London like Round Rock is Austin. Hey none of these people care again. We had a DLR today nice Fucking pandering, it's bullshit. I don't know what it means It's easy you like say anything additionally it watch this how about those Oyster cards am I right? I? Got an idea though. I got an idea though cheese toasties. Sorry stop it I got an idea we need another British person. That's too many British percent Conor him Oh Like the hop is nonsense one of our friends friend food and Football friends we've got uh we've got an a guest here. It's a box of cat litter box. Oh It's a box of more beer Introducing James Buckley Hello that might be you've bested us that might be the first time I've seen a Standing audience stand up more for a standing ovation are people jumping to get higher this motherfucker God begged us to be on just beg. He was like I'll pay you In between errs has been over for a while. I'll have a lot going on. I need this I need this please all right I'll get to you a little bit later Did you guys like fucking drug him the first time you met him like I don't know why he keeps coming back I really like what you they're brilliant. They're brilliant. They're absolutely amazing on that That's it. I'm one of these guys imagine you right there you lady. Yeah, I'm pointing at you yes Yeah, yeah, yeah if you could just like text Gavin just the email Geoff and just Tweeted Michael whenever you want it. That's what I can do Brilliant you're off the telly he's dead You have to fucking shows on the telly right there, yeah, dude, you wouldn't think the same white Gold's on Netflix. I watched it Yeah, you said it was good. Yeah. I liked it No, I'd already seen white gold, but there was a there was a like a James Buckley block on the plane That was like in between hers white gold and zapped next the next night. You know there really was favorites there really was yeah Yeah, that was it, but he's like you know what couldn't believe you guys Let me on yeah, is there your fucking face three times on the flight here. I have a mild complaint James yeah, so it for series 3 as You guys know. I don't really arrange anything or this company like Yeah, so I'm rarely the one to be like sorting things out. I'm not you know organisation. There's a lot going on I never do it. I just go where I'm told but Buckley got in touch It was a you know like we're gonna go do off-topic so I was like you know what? Absolutely take care of this for you. I'll make sure it's all good Talk to Michael about this appearance made sure it was okay made sure you could get in I'm even feel confident with right so then He messages means like so is everything all good for me to come on since like yesterday At least a week a week, and I was like absolutely I've sorted it all out I literally wanted to make it so that you didn't have to do anything And I just had to say it sorted just be here on this time yeah, and you said I don't believe you Yeah, I don't buy it and I was like what can I do I've got it all arranged here. You are now I've done it I I'm gonna have to talk to Michael because I don't believe you can't but if you could build a time machine Go back, and not be a piece of shit for 28 years or so She liked it. Maybe engender some trust. Oh absolutely Thanks, Gavin Where are you here? You go? I mean you're not that far down. So don't sex how many people Hey, everything all right for Saturday. Do you know this was Thursday? Yeah? But what you it's not quite sure what's going on? That doesn't sound like it's sorted Gavin Gavin Boyd. Yeah, boy just landed what you need to know What do you need to know? Well, this is my exact text. Well. It's only you that has said I'm doing off-topic And I'm starting to wonder whether you're a voice of authority in that You put love that you have faith in me yeah, I said I have faith you'll get your shit together one day I've never put this much effort into something in like a year in a year. Yeah in terms of like scheduling Where it's like can we put pause the show for it, and we let's do that Le pasa timeout all right tres with the bottle opener tres is That trace their trace trace areas that trace. Thank you for the bottle opener, but James wanted fucking trace you come back up here get up here I Do indeed there you hit me nearly all do I don't eat Israeli public about his name James actually tries well jr. James this question was are you from the future? Thank You tres it's preciate it. It's either a futuristic name Just some bloke ooh, Tracy I Just saw Michael there's a about 18 but why are you near the but unless you I did see those you're gonna turn off the Convention how much pain do you think I could cause that? Embarrassing any of those buttons, you know what Jack's not here trying to break the table, so it's not my problem We not supposed to spill yeah No, they encouraged. Don't spill that was a An expla kind of an overflow really how many people have to cheer and clap to get Jeremy to Jesus Christ Okay Jeremy been to there will There is So that that's the illustration to trace back up here Just to be clear this doesn't count as work. I'm not paying you for this. Oh, I know okay This is what I do in my spare time Jeremy you're on vacation I think When we were in Chicago if you remember this Jeremy, but we were in Chicago, it's a place in America and uh We were at let's play live when I passed you I was like we were having a moment behind stage And I said, I like that if you weren't working at roosterteeth like if we'd never been hired correct What do you think you'd be doing right now, and you looked at me at all seriousness, and you said well I'd probably be here watching you guys on stage. Yeah, that's like fuck. That's weird, but then you came to this show - I Did yeah and I was sitting right there? Hey, we're gonna leave me alone I'm sorry Jeremy. You know I have no control over him Sorry, ma. Sorry. I'm sorry. You know sorry. No you were gonna come up. I was just genuinely interested Oh, how many people had to clap and cheer anyway my fault any people General-interest And you totally you did the michael voice right off the bat - what? You just I don't know how many people heard you do it because Gavin already started talking, but you did you're like oh, yeah Jerry got all the achievements. I mean it didn't get the zero point achievement For it for you yeah Zero point a team is did not count. I'll go not we it there's no monetary value. There's no point value There's nothing right the achievement there aren't gonna look at that see a higher score Yeah, yeah the whole town does that count as a 100% game if you don't have the says I have a hundred percent even though I don't And who gives a fuck they're their hardest fuck achievements - I'm gonna go through it and do those things for no Even fake rewards. I love this fucking Jeremy. Well the first rewards fake its fake Earth oh I Love that fucking Jeremy like quits achievements cold turkey. He's like I'm done I'm never fuckin car head a ball game And he'll comes out of retirement for like the hardest fucking game of a shit fine was it fun You didn't look like you were having fun some of it was fun. Here's it. Here's you for the last two weeks of work I? Would literally you know here's here's me the last two weeks at work Uh-huh still playing cuphead every morn every single morning oh You beat that though Jerry's favorite game Times I was playing it and I would get so close to beating something and I just miss it and I can be like sir and Jeff from leo southern thing we go You don't sound like you're having fun over there That was one day where we were yellow filming something. I wasn't filming. I'll sit on the couch watching I don't know what it was and While y'all were filming Jeremy was Fucking playing cuphead and so I was sitting behind him just watching him on the couch kind of like loving life And I was like making snippy comments to him every once in a while when he failed and that one he hit a point of anger where he's fucking shut me down like he was playing and I was like he fucking failed and I was about to make it like a dickhead come and he just goes All right Point where they were filming something I was trying to stay out of it But then I'd get so close to being the boss and we'd just miss it back there you hear The couch like while they're filming That's that's the danger and also What's quite, so I watched the recent destiny oh No I loved it. I like that because Me and the other boys from The Inbetweeners with friends. We're super close Yeah, yes, that's the danger of having a professional relationship with your friends Yeah, because you will just fall out and just sort of not fall out There was a there was a time where we were making the second in between his film and we had a day off so we went and played mini golf and Simon bird He wouldn't go through the obstacles. He was like oh, it's Sarah. Why I can get past. I'll just go round That's not in the spirit of the game. You're supposed to try and go through them. Don't try and find a way around it and We ever get like that his name's Ryan Yes Christ and so what happened was mini, golf course obviously loads of kids around What are they what's the are we allowed to drop puck? Yeah? We like to drop C bombs? Yeah, I know Why so he took a shot and he didn't go through the windmill or whether he went like off the wall and round the back Of it and I went to put my ball down He's shorter than me which is difficult because how question and I just as I put my ball down always between his here pointless And he just went you're a cunt you're a cunt Buckley. You're a fucking cunt. You're a come It's around us their children the children around us no words going to spirit the game. You're not playing it properly And then about 20 minutes later you just went to me Sorry for calling you can Ryan brain doesn't go that far with an apology. Yeah, I don't I'm saying I Don't know that anybody's ever apologized to anybody hi jack Chuck apologized to Ryan the other day. Oh Fucking dickhead okay. I say that in England ticket. Yeah fucking prick we have railways say Jack was the me Yeah, there. Yeah, so how's it going over there right just so things like that? Well someone when you see someone gain week when you can see someone about the crack And you just lean on in that little oh you mean what you just did the Jeremy? Yeah, yeah, I'm just I'm just really pleased that you're on site Thanks Legally I think he's British royalty, I think legally you have to go that's what you have to listen in his homeland at least yeah Oh, we could sit here until Jeremy's up here. I was just like Antonio and Tara London might you be careful son Sean Dude speaking of the raid right so it's not saw yet well part two just came out on March you came out There's two more. It's four parts Part one it gets rough. That's the backed one yes One is spoken about it on Podcasts and stuff, and I was like fucking how I can't wait to see this part one And I thought that was part two no part one is like the amuse-bouche Part two and three are totally normal videos part four is where I'm like. I'm gonna have to fire somebody Why fire is brutal? Yeah? I was brutal I wasn't there for the recording and I've been really excited to see it like I want to see it early cuz I'm gonna see Manhunter I feel like I should be able to see it yeah right now, and you oh, you keep saying it. It's bad It's bad. It's bad like straight face. I'm like what happened when I say I was gonna have to fire somebody I mean the person who threw the first punch is gonna have to get fired Alright, I look forward to them. It's a good. It's a good two and three were such good friends Tres thank you For this guy, but in fact all right so much It really was like parts two and three are like we are the friends ever and like it. We're working together It's great, and then by for it's just like dodgy. Just fucking working with grumbles, man falls apart but ok so he'll sang some support to Was the noise part two and three years in part two where the best of is Ryan will Quran guide? Oh, I suppose I'll do George on this is my Ryan cousin I suppose oh oh Look how easy that was oh? That was part one. That's acting that's the yeah he's British But I Spoiler we beat the raid right you'll find that out. This was like a month ago. I care about the game Yeah, no no no boy. I'm just saying that was like over a month ago. The argument is passed You know it's like wait for the video to come out It's gonna resurface when the video comes out cuz that's when that's when Ryan or whoever's gonna walk into work and go So looks like I was right whatever the audience decides somebody's gonna be a smug motherfucker about it I know and that's gonna reignite the whole thing, but as of now it's over. It's in a lull we passed it It's which of those things It's over like like say you you like you have to share a hotel you and Gavin share a hotel I'm gonna do a little shipping, okay? I'm gonna share a hotel you have a little bit too much to drink you wake up in the morning you're both fucking confused You're in the same bed. You're like did we Do we last night did you touch? Did I touch it and you go alright? We're just never gonna talk about this again Well this bliss just pretend like it never happened and move on with our lives. That's how we feel about right We've always a video about this. It would be like if what just happened was coming out but Spencer missing it And then going we should put this on the Internet. Yeah, I'm here. You know we're all here in London drdx so Left it to the boys back home to shoot the podcast yesterday as it comes out on Friday So is Ryan and Jack and I'm like grab whoever you want you know from the post-production room So it's 606 I realize in my hotel And I'm like oh shit off topic just started because it's 12:06 in Austin let me just pop in See how it is good producer I produce I produce So I'm like let me see if it's actually happening unlike the week before when they fucked it up And it was 40 minutes late piece of shit not my fault. Are you by the way oh? Can I just say yeah? That was the first evening in like forever where I could watch the show live it was late great No, no I was there waiting for it I Had a six-week run of watching the fucking idiots in the whatever They're doing mucking about in the piss and stuff like that and then as soon as the fucking show would start Someone would come into my life with some shit that Needed sorting out was it like your wife, or kids though. Yeah Shit child, but anyway, I got to watch that one They were away they were doing something I don't know they were dealing with their own shit I was like finally I can watch it live and I was waiting there for ages and ages and then what turned up a bunch of people they didn't know they were supposed to be On a podcast yeah, what happens when I leave town you actually told me something. I never told you about this You didn't piss me off But the thing you said piss me off so bad that day later that day cuz we busted it like 12:30 And they're like dead air we don't know anything you have you feel like you've what's fucked. What's happening um I guess pre-recorded no no no we were we were commiserating about it later, and you go you go. Yeah, it's bullshit They didn't tell me till 11:30 that day that it wasn't gonna be had that it wasn't gonna happen And I'm like how did you know an hour before we did when we were there yeah because I'm the producer the way What is it? Also also by the way what I did with this information when I find out I said fuck This Trevor no and I was sold Oh Jeremy and Ryan know That's what I thought was the Winch to winch ry deployed well fuck good luck with that I'm like this motherfucker knew an hour before I did This company got all these people makes no sense in a Consonant because five people worked really fucking hard for a long time to turn over a bunch of fucking chuckle fucks There's the thing you pave the waterfront take it easy calls us chuckle fucks and just gets away with but Michael I Remember what fuck? I wasn't you were talking about Holly the argument had endo so I fucking turn on off-topic yesterday It's fucking 1206 I turn it on as Soon as I fucking turn it on Jack and Ryan are arguing about the raid. I was like motherfucker Are you kidding me still the video? They were arguing about still isn't even out yet They're arguing about fucking strategy shit in part for which they've already argued about in the goddamn video already Beaten we beat it shut up Shut up. It's who's fucking jack Oh Ryan was sitting where I usually sit Jack was on the opposite in the table and Trevor and Alfredo are just like in the Middle saying absolutely nothing sitting there and fucking Ryan's getting they were it was nowhere near the the great They weren't like yelling, but they're still arguing about it Jack was not backing down Ryan was not backing down Ryan started getting Electorate you know if you're in but bad for Alfredo cuz that looked that raid is Alfredo's Vietnam Change his life and like you bring it up and he gets like a he gets still and quiet and like a thousand-yard stare Fucking lost it. He's like seeing PC and shit. You know has like I fired as one of these guys was there an introduction to Alfredo or a video I Now sit on off-topic Bullshit yeah, that's probably us we're also not good at that. No like I a week. I covered it with him. I covered it so Yes, how afraid is a new addition. Yes, don't worry about I worry about Fredo idea. Yeah, it's too late He's a gentle he's a nice. He seems quite sweet and quiet noise. It was you are Every time I see this in a turban I feel like I need to apologize to him yeah, and you do cuz I Do it in part for the rain? And I insulted him you call them on called avoid saying I come on bow you go mumble mouth I gotta hide mumble mouth. There's got to be louder if you're gonna work. It achievement on her, and he's like Yeah, I People I saw some comments of like in part one. They're like man alfredo He got he got into it or like you know he they shit happened around part 4 He fuckin loses his shit Because I didn't know how seriously I don't know if you know this I you probably don't I don't know I didn't realize how seriously Fredo takes Destiny in particular like at like fuckin Brno world's first. Yeah. Yeah a couple weeks ago. I was talking to him I found out his group in destiny one were like world first raid beaters. They had like a world record for Proning crota in like 11 minutes. Yeah, I'm like how many times Did you play crota and he's like I probably did curta 30 times a day yeah, I'm like how long he's like six months Right look. I love otherwise you can see kind of the confusion when Ryan's telling Alfredo what to do Guys that's the dynamic though it because Alfredo he's the new guy and he's sweet, and yes, and he probably knows his shit He's very sweet he's so new that when I came back because I was out in these green yeah That's an American That's the American thing I'd left for like a month and I came back and I walked past the support room And he was like Gavin's good to see you, and I was like Wait, what someone's like excited that I'm back. I walked into the main room, and I think Geoff was like dickhead Skyy factory Spray back into it. Yeah, yeah It's pretty much, but did you hear you want a fucking hand job because you decided to come to work Fucking slow mo guys happy hour People sucking your dick for a month and Gavin's a real job, and Gavin's do a real job, but video game. Yeah slow man guys Well, they do in sub boys at the moment subscriber wise why do you bring this up? I'm just a shawarma 9 in Western Europe you do just a little bit away for those 10 million subscribers, so Yeah, thanks No strings he was fucking doing sly my guys, I know Listen I was talking to his grandpa one year at this convention actually and I was like no and people laughed And he was like Thank you so much for taking my boy under your wings and making a thing out of them is that you doing an Italian? Accent your dad's I would scream lawless, and I'm like I was like you know it's all Gavin easy points very. Okay was Thank you so much. I was like Please stand up. You don't have the bow and I was like well. It's all Gavin. He's very talented He's very he's exceptionally talented young man, and he goes he's a he's a little boy with the golden hens And I was like oh no that means sure he's the boy with the golden hands Is the second language? dude, you told me the other day I Assumed it was like an Italian colloquialism for like talent right yeah, we're ages fuck He's fucking crazy, or he made his living like getting his hands peed on in some weird sex thing. Yeah, that's also possible Yes, I get golden free shower. You just piss on my hand pre-show yeah It's just the hands. I like the thought of Gavin's Graham campaign like it's the boy with the golden hands period moving on What Gabby had a rare human moment in my opinion That's actually quite touching wait here grandpa. Be careful. What are you gonna? Say? I'm gonna say anything I don't know if you wanted to mention it you should man it was it It was like Gavin telling a story where he wasn't a piece of shit, and I was like Entertaining they're Gonna like it. They just talked about your grandfather. You don't want to hear it Don't you want to hear one time Gavin before I meet little boy one time? Gavin's always lovely to me to be fair. He's always been sweet. Okay, so I was I'd arrived on Thursday I flew to England and everyone hanging out and seeing the sights of London I've done that I've been to London many times, so I thought I'll drop in on my grandparents who live in London They don't know I'm in the country So I just I took the Train took the tube took me about an hour Facetimed my granddad just to make sure he was home because I'm at to like go into his house So I was chatting to him I was walking up the street is it bad that I thought he was gonna say it just to make sure it was Jesus He's fine said FaceTime No, no I'm in the country so so our grandparents are like they probably would you know if one of them thought I don't bother Gavin He's out in Austin. He's doing anything. He's busy, so I'm facetiming him, and he doesn't know I'm walking up his Street, and I stopped in front of his house and Then in the middle of him talking to me I just flipped the camera and point at his own house on FaceTime, and he's like yeah, and then I Wait like why you want unlike Google or something like you showed me something that you showed me my own house on Google and I just like slowly walked up to the doorbell, and I press the doorbell he just flipped he dropped his phone He started crying because he had no ideas in the country And then we had a nice moment grandfather and grandson wait a little it was nice About your golden hands you sell more stories like that people won't think you're such a piece of shit I Know it was a big deal to him cuz he actually texted me to tell me about it Text me every getting sappy now. Yeah, yeah, text it means like I was all Ryan Knight And they liked you a lot, so I like them. They're lovely I wish I was allowed to see him again texting It's like walking through a minefield Fucking television he's already replaced me back. I know it drop a box office record breaker Ayat x1 takes me back. I take on a frontier between us Like 85% of the time I text you back, oh, that should be fair most the time when you text me It's a you really piss me off in that. Let's play He watched our Tea Party video okay play keep talking ah nobody explodes right and nobody explodes, and I suck at Morse code Yeah, I'm livid. I'm livid watching this only so I always livid playing it. I was doing my best I'm not worried. I'm not a violent person no no no it's my computer I was so I was going fucking just say where is a Dora - it's there really I was like just say what you say There's four things it's like da - da - that's Troubling to see the gaps between the letters so much hair out my head, here's three now At some point in the future we needed to play Keith that game I've got trouble talking keep talking though explodes with these two idiots, right Oh, that's so. I said I was like let's go Let's do it, but today we go we gonna do the game in there like let's go So you guys are play pals yeah, and you guys are departed apart, and you and Ryan are buddies. Yeah, you guys could be brilliant Free it's pretty good. I feel like that's pretty good. That's why I Like yours I feel like you're tearing me with their gaving. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, really get lumped in with him. What's wrong? Oh, sorry. I just I can see a Tower of pimps. Just walking around in the dista Is that is that an object or a person? I like the? Person that's a person running from Joel is it by security I think Joel's signed that actually like I like that it has a crew of people Around him pushing him in whatever direction he needs to go I like that if I didn't get drunk and build that in Minecraft that guy Like what would be of that guy right now? He would be dead that guy wouldn't exist everywhere by you You saved his life god. You're Jesus Gavin So anyway, we're gonna - keep talking nobody explodes. Yeah, we're gonna get out. Good you I did it, but there I'm staying Gavin's house for a week next year. Yes. He's coming over. I told Gavin. I was painting What do you think the chance right now to either I told Gaby. No this is wrong I was saying his house and then I said Maybe ask you mrs. If okay. I did she she's okay with it. She's good with it. That's the only opinion on Carol She she I didn't necessarily tell her everything you did to the toilet last time The stack pile I actually Gavin Gavin's house is really nice and lovely and it's a toilet that he probably would never even see it's it's damn I haven't told him that I destroyed it I Remember going I remember when I went. It's your butt is this too invasive personal, which I bedroom on the first It's okay guys you downstairs. Yeah, so when I say the Gavin He's he's bedrooms on the ground which I think it's quite normal in places like techni, Texas and stuff like yeah hey, my bedroom was up on the Second floor we'd say here in Britain obviously. Yeah, so the third floor there was a point where I was calling you because I needed a co hang up I Didn't realize your bedroom was on the ground floor all the way at the back of the house, and I was going hey Gavin Gavin Gavin Gavin I Was shouted back to you at the back of your Saying like there's no way you'd ever hear me. Yeah, anyway. My clothes got crumpled. That's the end of that anecdote well I also it's it's the future so we don't really have metal coat hangers anymore So what you would have used like a plastic one. Yeah, but it wasn't any in the wardrobe It was an empty wall Drobo So just room on the floor obviously, that's fair play I actually feels like Gavin's got cameras all over his house Yeah, I unplugged him there was a point was He's filming it Geoff what are you doing? Jeff um if it lasts for five couple minutes or so I was trying to like Ollie a water bottle up or stand it up He's trying to kick it up, and then just came up and threw it you want to try again. No Edge of my song I know yeah, that was here was his cup head. I saw you. You're like. It's you not doing it Yeah, I don't know why your son fucking here going I watch Jeremy do this Like something's happening over there. Oh, we know that was going down dude speaking of dumps Yeah, there's always a good dump space my area. Ya know Where the like staging area is for us You know in between all like the panels in the in our signings and stuff like that There's like a room where we all kind of hang out in and There's bathrooms up there so the only people that have access up There is like you know people at roosterteeth, and if anybody here as far as like a special guest or like guardians You know and stuff like that. It's not open to everyone on the floor. It's like Pluto is basically what you're saying yeah We're all the suspects Included so you included so in a minute right before the market starts I go to the bathroom I walk in the bathroom, and it reeks like shit immediately I was like oh god someone destroyed this and there's two stalls and I was like okay You just want to pick the one that wasn't just destroyed so there's the first stall and then one to the left of it, and I'm just like fucking I'll take a 50-50 shot You can take the far one That's the one so like if you're gonna make a nasty dump you're gonna put in the one farthest away from the door Yeah, but I was thinking like what I was thinking. Maybe those just hit the first door they found because this shit's coming out They're gonna poop like you the other day in the video They didn't come out yet when you were like almost hit my hand so yeah Yeah, yeah thing is the thing it happens. Okay sometimes your pants sometimes. I piss on the floor Maybe it was the same day. I don't know if you'll find out what's happening that day. Hey if you mother died That's what happened you're pissing and shitting and all our fluids Vomiting that's the second time I've shit my pants in an achievement video It's gotta happen really gonna stop that I go in I skip the first all I go to the second stall I'm I'm immediately hit with a waft of like extra shit, and I'm like must have been this one and my eyes immediately attracted the urine in the toilet and my first thought was like you can't fucking flush the toilet like you pissed and you just Left it or what I assume is like you do okay written. What's that welcome to Britain as a thing? Why push the button it goes away you save the war sounds like yes walk in I'm like oh great They pissed as my eyes are going up Mike. Oh girl. Oh my god there shit everywhere Was all over the back of the toilets like someone was sitting down and just deployed and just sprayed everywhere And then they just fucking left it nobody cleaned it up tonight. Can I put this rasie? Like a sort of alibi okay there to count me out of this situation I mentioned it to you if he was because you're the first person. I saw it wasn't me I took his shit before I got here. I didn't do that Took a shit before go ahead He's true I don't know why I said that and if it was me Because I'm because I get proud of the fucking weirdest stuff. I would have gone I Get it. I here's what I probably would have done. I would've been like oh my god. I can't believe I did that I Couldn't wait so gap in the pressure of it And then I would have cleaned it up he he stacked up in my toilet and instead of being like oh, yeah I've never stayed here house before actually I've made it's like a like a soft swirl of ice cream Yeah, it piled up it come out of the walls ahead breached it breached Yeah, fucking Loch Ness monster its instead of being like instead of being apologetic. He was just like Destroyed your toilet, and then I I mean what is out of it. I'm convinced I saw like a twinkle in his eye like a little but he's like I shit up a stag And he was just oddly brave as like. He wasn't sorry at all, and then I actually went into some What was pre pretty gross detail I felt bad about after it's got it. I described what I found in my toilet I was so no it's like this when I was little New York when you start leaving and And I was gagging but then I was like oh he's off the telly I probably shouldn't describe in that much detail his bowel movements That's my career, but Why we get along, so how I think I would ask you a question Michael Yeah, I want to see what you would do in the situation because we're on the subject of shit sure of course yesterday I took a dump in my toilet at my hotel room and I Don't know if it's like British toilets are different. There's more of like a they are different. It's more water in them I don't know so there was less water. Oh, sorry. Yeah, there's much less water. Yeah. Yeah, you go to an American toilet it's like a Fucking shit in a bowl of scoop. Yeah as Opposed to a shit in a symbol of water Yeah, anything like the toilet should just be like a tube into where a place I don't want to ever find out right the Oh shows down into hell or the ocean or Like you guys. It's like Ireland or wherever it goes right? Uh-huh but I Was just a close point hey Jeff you it was good hit Ireland again You gonna eat the toilet in my hotel, it's not you I'm saying away from you guys Definitely clear the front of the toilet goes like So you can into the then to the thimble so there's like a shelf like a turtle shit Shit, not a thing that should exist why so like I sit on the toilet. I guess I'm sitting too far up Maybe or whatever on an arm on my phone, and I'd take it a bad dump And I get up and I look down and I guess my my turn is like hit the top of the shelf and then like That's gross it like a Rorschach test yeah Any proud of Britain and I'm proud of where I come from babe, yeah absolutely we got toilet problems so III 5y pop Italy a normal person and all that stuff, and I flush and the Rorschach test is still there. Yeah, yeah Stay there. It's who's somebody click. Yeah, so I look at it. I'm like well That sucks, so I go to look for like the scrubber and there isn't a scrubber in a hotel room Never is and I'm 42 years old I've never encountered this particular problem before and I went huh, I guess I've never seen one and so I can't I thought well I Guess I could leave it, but what if what if somebody comes over and they see it, and they think I'm gross The fucking house cleaning sees it I would be like like so let's go to see how you doing mind if I take your shit It's funny you should ask so I go What do I do and I'm like do I call down and say like can I have a toilet scrubber? I can't absolutely no That's terrible I don't want to ever be known as the guy like you go home for you like the weirdest fucking day at work today Isaac strange somebody asked me for a toilet who asked for a toilet scrubber, so I think I can't so I flush 18 times And I'm like I like flush half the TENS down the fucking toilet a symbol at a time And that's I do anything I got a bottle of water from the fridge, and I poured it on the let's expect That's like six quid. I don't care. It's Russia squid Hahahaha, like. I lose like a third of the Rorschach test but most of it's still there And I'm like what the fuck am I gonna do What do you do in the situation? When ideal wife is this someone cleans it all you clean it you just fucking do it? How do you clean it if you have a toilet scrubber? Just fucking get shit. Here's what Michael would do I run the hot water want to know I get a washcloth I don't know. Wipe that shit out. I'll get a wiping shit. I'm not gonna Wipe it with a washcloth cuz I have to clean the shitty washcloth house, so what I did Paper I turn the hot water on I wet some toilet paper down and then I scrub - yes Listen I was like a shitty brown hand by the way that would have been Me awake, it doesn't hold now i'd agree with you for your paper towels. I wouldn't do a toilet paper only did it hold the job Didn't need to do it. No someone's job to do that Way where I go? Clean this shit up because that's what we fucking doing don't know cuz here's what you clean shit up like a bomb and clean up shit this I Couldn't leave it because it's 6:00 in the evening which means that shit's gonna be there till like noon tomorrow I'm not gonna be laying in bed knowing oh Okay, I'd never get to sleep. I'd be like hey Good night bye shit eat while it's there. I left the dirty slaw. I can't dude Tonight I couldn't sleep me that I'd be like I know what's in there. I know it's a no Cuz there's no way in a million fuckin years, I would not clean it up Honestly did I say Kevin what would you do no cuz I know he's a dirtbag. I said Michael yeah Yeah, I cope great and here's what I would do if there were no paper towels I would use the washcloth because I don't give a shit am I gonna shit in my hands. I care about the paper towels I'm gonna use like or the toilet paper. It's gonna rip. It's not gonna go well You gotta like scrub hard then it's gonna rip, and I'm gonna physically touch the shit in the toilet So I would take a fucking washcloth run hot water Scrub it and then I wash my hands, and I wash the shit. I literally deal with shit every goddamn day at home my baby Watch the house fucking wash it in the sink In the sink he can People people like wash their face, and they say that's your toothbrush drain now your to wash the fuckin Shitty Shitty hand here's what you to it shit. It's not fucking ass. I figured it out. I think it goes away Oh, you don't have to you'd have to mess with that What you do you tear off about four squares of Barbaro right you dip the bottom of it in the water And then you apply the whole thing I did that know this you know I didn't like you soak for like 10 minutes and ain't No hear any shit Gavin. I've done that before you're right. It's like paper my trying to paper mache Shapes orbs. It was about it say. I had bad shit and shit like 3d and coming out and Gavin It took me a while to figure out what to do I thought about it for a bit so the shit calling me up I would have come over taken care of it like that it had time to dry so it was like it was in there I Tried what you're talking about. It's it's this. It's a paper ship. Mache it didn't work I didn't have a choice, and you can't go to sleep because when you're laying there you're thinking. I'm a bad person God's gonna punish me even though. He doesn't exist but like an imaginary God's gonna like this shit's gonna become sentient And it's gonna attack me for being grown on your dreams Just staring at the ceiling. Oh, that's what I would do no I Don't know. I don't know why you weren't just thinking well. It's a toilet, and that's where shits he supposed It's supposed to go down and away not in it What if what if what if TVs James Buckley contacted me and said hey, I'm in the neighborhood Do you want to get a drink and I'm like yeah sure and then we're like One of the rooms like in this hotel like I'll show you like come up with hey I'm gonna drop a quick appear real fast, and my buddy. Oh, no James long is gonna. See I Honestly wouldn't he was in The Inbetweeners. I wouldn't have given it a second. He wasn't acting He wasn't if I'd have seen and I think everyone here will back me up if You do your anti blocked by seeing a skid mark in a toilet That's no That was not nearly the majority of ways. Oh who would have cleaned up slash fisted the shit away Everybody either raise your hand you're welcome to take a shit at my house anytime you want the rest of you stay out of my fucking But we haven't heard it who would have left the skid mark there So you could even it's like most people didn't even know you had you all shit We know it you people were sent are you digging for words? Who don't take care of your problems? Clean your shit up It came out of you make you make sure it goes down the drain. It make it go away Jesus You got everything I can If you haven't I followed the rules I did it in the toilet, so just lacks it is all much the rules I Play by your rules in this shit. Did it go away exactly what else do you want me to do? Sorry the more you Sally says I feel like you shit up the toilet and left it there. I know You probably took a fucking picture of it you're gonna frame it in your house. It's not this is great. I got invited by dxi Throw in the toilet. He's gonna be a Funny story no. It's not oh I couldn't wait to tell Gavin Gavin so excited in his toilet No, no no no. No. There's no way I did that. I will say I do all my shit in the toilet That's the only that's the only good thing about me. I'm glad I'm glad that you started gagging at that also. That's a lie I was literally in The I walked in was like Jesus Christ And I walked out and went to the other stall to take us back to the shit. I discovered. This is back here, right yes This is here. No. No it was fine as I'm pissing I hear Someone come into the bathroom, then enter the stall next to me and close the door nice go Somebody really fucked that place up my gods. Just like sorry bro. Whoever's in there if somebody didn't go in after me I was absolutely gonna take a picture and show it to you, and I was like I bet on it cuz it's crazy This has been like let me if I can describe it yeah, you know if you put like a Little shoot it and it speckles everywhere Right like imagine lifting up the toilet seat just like a smattering. I just delivered. I brought something with me I didn't bring it in secondly by put you getting with me that would make you Potentially for me. What is right? Well had it It's my headphones. Oh have you got some sort of cloggy bill? Oh my god, yeah? Dude describe it to him. He will see They look medical they will like they were prescribed headphones these people are fucking sick Yeah, like serious that like Americans are fucking like they're just like dickheads bags You guys are fucking sick of America in America We'll shoot you, but we'll clean it up right. We'll blow you away, but won't leave shit stains yeah We're gonna. Wipe up the blood oh Man oh, man all right here. We go. Let's try might gather all their ear buds. You know Look at this. Oh those go in those really just look at this Look at that stuff there, that's going on I Can see it from Allah. I don't yeah, and these are quite clean Damn it Down I think I heard it it sounded like You got a fucking shake this oh? Man, it was like looking into a squishy Smell are you gonna look at this take a whiff take a widow? But look this it this is it this is the stuff that's connected, that's it You know if you just twist yeah, I got the same shit man and like it coming I got the same shit in my head. He's back there. I've been planning that Hey Hey you guys do me a favor yeah, not you asshole all right Jeremy's like I'm here to help so I'm in England right now, and I miss my daughter a lot. She won't talk to you She's not gonna. Talk to me if I but I want to try to make her like me again It's not going well. Would you guys if I'd make a short video? Would you guys say hi to her and then I can mail to her would you do that? Oh, yeah? She say her name is Millie say. Hi Millie. She's 12 is. She's a lovely? It's true On your mark get set go That's a good dad. That's a good dad Milly you love your father What a face you should lure impressed Him back, okay, yeah, no Jeremy she'll text him back nothing yeah I imagine to give a fuck yeah, Jeremy. I'd a conversation with my kids, and I've said to them What I do for a living like it's the Excite. It's like quite cool. It's quite unusual. It's quite. Yeah I make TV shows and TV. Yeah, it's quite cool. When they're just like Everyone's on the TV and they yeah Mine's a little bit, maybe worse maybe cuz my kids all didn't ears yeah I was asking the day like what she wants to be when she grows up, and she was like yeah I probably be a youtuber like like PewDiePie, and I go oh like me and see us no not like PewDiePie that's She just watch what she says the audience would yeah if she wants to be like PewDiePie Just make sure like she doesn't play Club G She say yeah, no kidding. She's uh? We didn't we didn't say In my mind, I'm like I can see her being like You know numbers would argue. Yeah, I do or not the same thing alright fine I saw that I saw that because I watched the no and uh How do you justify that you don't you don't justify it, I mean like It's not part of my lexicon. It's not like a word that I reach fear actually is a mistake It's a weird one to slip out Yeah, but you know it's not that many harm is it The rest on the platform Yeah, yeah put the fucking platform pretty badly. I will say in a much lighter tone Something that I can't remember the example lightsome. It's funny What a schmuck Lee thanks for joining us everybody that's time for you to go There was there was a couple of guardians on something, and I I didn't want to say what it was got to remember I'm like a kidding paraphrase. They're having some kind of conversation and one of them's like Talking about something he's like yeah, it was all black and like nobody wants that and it was like a pause that was like and time for a joke and Someone's like hey you better better watch out with that, right We're like had a little chuckle and then there was a blackguard in sitting right next to me was like yeah, you better this guy Can I explain that I've got a moustache because I'm filming the boy called series - Wait you don't like kids what? Little kid lover like you love like No one said that you're saying that yeah I'm not a pedophile. I can't believe all that say that I'm not I Was saying no I'm not you you specifically pointed out another another thing that you kind of realized after the fact of like yeah I know Nobody's great, but I think we can all agree here. You know roosterteeth James Buckley. We're all about it You know you do whatever the fuck you want to do you fuck whoever you want to do. We don't give a shit That's what that's how it should work Hey chase Buckley's like yeah, you know I'm wearing the pride shirt. You know I was looking good. He's like then I was thinking about it. I also have the bracelet and uh Not the mustache and it's like I feel like I'm sending mixed signals like it's fine In any position to start being Tuesday So you know if you see James out late tonight You know maybe buy him a drink and who knows what's gonna happen. Give it a shot Just don't let them use your toilet You will shit everywhere and justify it you Got it all in the ball. It was only the boat, and then I knows a lot of there's a question Let's let the helicopter technique. Oh I met this this conversation This conversation is based on a hotel and you're like fuck. It's somebody else's job. I'm not gonna clean it I get it shit. What have you did that in someone's house? How do you what's the situation there, right? Okay, just leave this shit, and go I'm James Buckley. It's a toilet. I got it in the toy Zoey I'm on the fucking telly you clean up my shit whoever else. I mad okay. Yeah, there was a point where There was a point where I live sample fuck shit. Oh god. No literally, and I was like just got the fuck it on this I've just done you spent I Mean I have pretty tidy shits. I'm not gonna lie they just go. They'd glide right in they come out they fold themselves My favorite thing about one of them Everything's about Gavin is when he used to come stay with me every summer for like like five seven years something like that. Yeah, yeah Every sometime yeah, we'd like you buddy four or five years in a row I don't know how many years in a row I look from 18 knife Yeah, five years in a row you come stay with me every summer for 90 days And I'll by the end of week one he'd come out of the bathroom. Just confused, and I'm like what's wrong It's like I just I don't know what's what happens to me in America Welcome food or what but things are very different in the bathroom here up than they are for me in England Yeah, I'll say this more frequent saw I'll say this not even America I the exact fucking same transition from New Jersey to Texas. I was like what the fuck is happening to me I used to take a shit three times a week now I shit five times a day what the fuck in the food and the water here James and Everyone has dude coming from Boston. I was like It was never even I would go days without paying you shit I wouldn't and it was never ever in my brain like I god I'm gonna take a shit at work. That would never happen I'm whatever in my fucking life. Took a shit at school or at school or yeah, he never happened I was like I'll take a shit at night. Maybe or in the morning Depends on when the body's gonna do it ever you want to do now at work in roosterteeth. It's all gone. It's like The other day, I told you I was like I've never in my life gone so quickly from I'm cool, too I'm gonna shit everywhere so fast I Was doing this thing down the hall where I was going down The box for an evening it's true only that one I feel like whenever I came to eat. Where do you eat? And you're about to come to stay for a week, what's it gonna be like after all we have to pay you it? Really is like a primer for what you're about to go through But I feel like anyone yeah anyone from a land where you ship maybe a cup every couple of days When you promise fans they call them when you move to Texas you very quickly find out your anus number Yeah, the amount of shits you can take in one day before your are so it's just raw yes and if I have to wipe another forever this way yeah, it's gonna be a Lot on the toilet paper. There's so many things happened. Yeah, I can to work. It's 9:30. It's 10:00 a.m. And my ass is destroyed. This is like it's like just it's like someone fucking chewed It doesn't happen as much as I quit so I couldn't talk, but there are days you get to work at 9:00 a.m. And you're on your fourth shit of the day Yeah, yeah, I know I just I get up at 8:15 the food the food is so tasty though very good I've absolutely had more but I kinda like the work on taxes I would like to compare my anus number Which I think is a three if I take the third shit will be a rough wipe but someone who's a native from, Texas? I would assume has a higher anus number Well your I mean you've been up you've been there You're five or six. I'm Desai anus number is a four you. Got four four is when it starts to hurt Yeah, but I can take six seven shits in a day you did they each one you throw through the pain That's true, it's like having a baby. It's like ah just change with mine never mind the shit's coming out I Feel like very often. We've been talking about you. Don't so no long. I want so long. I look at my watch I'm like how long kill my mom. I got 30 minutes for 36 minutes. I think we got five minutes You don't you don't text me very often right, but when you do I feel like a majority of it's about shit Yeah, usually it's like at what you said hey have one of these spicy things Yeah, I'll let you know how it turned out right? Yeah, I think I'll get a text it like 10:00 p.m.. And be like My anus is a volcano is healthy Molten Moses, it's common. See we did the off-topic with Bruce Like that gold shit, and then afterwards him and Jack busted in wasted and started singing during the fucking hitman video. Yeah, and Fucking Bruce either slack me or text me or whatever like later that night He's like do my shit was full of gold flakes. I shit it all out Man, oh, that's a that's money right there. That's money literally shit money Why I go back it up, and then he like sorted it back out So I would have done. That's a royal turd So what should we talk about after this shit come you weren't gold flakes? I don't remember I mean Here's the thing we can change a now or we can just ride it to the end You know I mean I've got me. I've got so much shit material alright. Let's keep going. I spoke about I Spoke about how I shat myself on Graham Norton about a month ago. I Was trying to make my kids laugh Shitting on someone. No I was leaving for work and Sometimes my work means that I have to disappear for the whole week cuz I need to go on location to film something and my kids, thank God quite like me and they they sort of violet they they saw a guy get upset when I have to go to work and My oldest was getting a bit upset, and I felt like I had a fart so I wanted to do that thing where when Hey, ah come and come and give me a big big squeeze a big cuddle before I go so you shit on your kid And he took a little while to get to me. I was gonna Give me a cuddle now, and I was gonna do that thing where he gives me a card. I was gonna marry Oh, you squeeze me too hard That will make him laugh, and I'll be able to leave and everyone to be happy So long to get to me That when he came to me. He gave me a hug, and I was like this It's because you were starting to lose him. Yeah, I was losing yeah. I pushed a bit too hard And so I just stood up a went right after - itself My parents were there. We were having a meal because I was about to leave for work. I was like oh well We'll have a meal when I'll go to work My sister was there her boyfriend was there. I'd only met him a handful of mine was there. I was like well. I'll shit myself Do you think your son was taking a while to get to you because he's like eyes gonna shoot me. He's gonna shit again He's gonna do I dunno probably Smarter the man dad's got the shit face on again, yeah Anyway in my defense it was really fucking funny Cuz I had a patch I was wearing I was wearing like grey jogging bottoms. Oh Come on that noise that Was a patch was it like solid or was it squirty. It was I'd had a second. I tied a curry come on now Yeah, it still made him laugh, and that's all that is all I fucking care about on this boat. What about everyone else? - good dad's right here Like what did the sister's boyfriend attack sir Millie, its she said? Thank you Nailed it Malin do sisters boyfriends. I'm not sure he would I'm not sure he's gonna long. He's gonna be around so don't know Heavy I don't care about his opinion. I'm joking Sam My dad looks to me as if to say yeah, I've been there And my mum was obviously concerned she purred naturally that sort of maternal instinct she wanted to wipe it for That's a joke He's joking he's not just like do a nose cuz don't get your really riding the line here Gavin when she loves cheese And there were those on my date with Meg that Yourself seven times a while ago. They're pretty good. That was like once again. I had to be honest. I disappeared from Myself it's no way around it And walk in There the underwear Take your pants off Going For anyway boxers on take your Boxers right now You may know the stupid I Was a kid From each other a grappling or Gideon not Chuck Seifert Gavin's a bit more posh than me He rose in they weren't allowed nunchucks It's like they all have fucking like donít always got a stick Leonardo and Raphael the fucking stabbing weapons. It's too goddamn Swords and to fucking try knives sighs enter sighs but to describe my knives. It's a fucking knife with three blades Fucking nunchucks get that out of here. That is not safe get out strange rappeling look What the fuck are you talking about who did that? Okay only He's from Britain. I assume pretty much everyone. Let's do another Paul. It's All time poll time all right, so Make some noise if you know them as the Teenage Mutant hero turtles oh Do you know them as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles You sir are full of shit Like where were we like? What was happening will we in some sort of weird hole? What? People are yelling things I can't hear them 80s cartoon Jitter within the 90s, that's what this man's he's nodding that's what this insane sir It's just a bunch of bollocks, I feel like I've not learned much, but I'm equally confused Do you know what I've been doing to people every now and again today because I've run into a lot of people from Scotland today They're everywhere Twister right it's one second both my wife and kids are Scottish can well buckle up, so There's this tongue twister right that's like Betty bought butter, but the butter was bitter so Betty bought better butter to make the bitter butter better Which if you if you have a Scottish person say that they're just like Betty bought Potter's, but the bow and spit also Babe all babe are demand a bit of bump do we have anyone in the crowd you can demonstrate this for us? Does anyone have called on skater scott? Who's super scottish? Selected Scottish is fuck. Oh my god first off Come from it nobody said get on stage, but that's fine. Yeah great choice and clothing excellent Got their name first Sean Scott is Sean Sean, thank Do you know you know the tongue twister? We're saying alright? Well. I'll say to you and you say back Okay, all right all right, so it's Betty bought butter but the butter win a night. You've said here already Betsy Bo a bits of butter why was the body by a bitter butter, she knew was but it a bit of butter yeah Alright, so Betty bought a bit of butter That's it, but the butter was bitter so Betty bought another bitter bus is buying the base buzzer better Got it another fucking alright, let's let's hear it alright so baby ba Betty bought a bit of butter, but the butter was bitter, babe, or a bear Barbie the buy always Val Thank you Shawn, thank you, sir, thank you. Thank you sir those perfect Jeremy This is why I wanted you to come on stage. This is fuck It's great half of those letters are lost yeah, and they're just never yeah That's the thing yeah, also we're on from we don't I've I've tried to Tone it down a bit, but we don't say our teas where I'm from either You just glaze over a pour a bit above, but the bit is better It's good pay for another beer bar to make a bit of a pair What? Sir. I'm gonna need you to speak English ace fucking English American Yeah, goddamn right they speak the Queen's English or the King's English Queens the Queen she's still alive is a Shit touch some would she don't touch some what touch the would like thank you It's gonna be you two. I can't be responsible for that Well the Queen going him Why me? What'd I do do you know about this thing where if we talk about a celebrity in earnest not to make fun of them? But if we talk about a celebrity in earnest usually it's like in like love like 78 percent chance they will die without bags Okay Lucky the stiller's we try to kill a celebrity They'll live forever right if we mention the fact like all we said we said this guy's name. He's gonna die. They won't die Absolute train and weaves because we will make it more videos show them the kill wall oh jesus fucking Every time we add like an hour of content a week to achieve my hunger that little section in the Academy Awards gets 30 seconds longer tragic Fucking fucking earlier. I'm talking to Somebody about the new season at Curb Your Enthusiasm, it's great fucking great great And I'm like I'm like dude is it not a bit weird now. Why you think it's weird there's obviously a different direction or something it's somebody's not getting cast they said I Love Larry David is for that It seems a bit weird. I've watched the first two I mean I've seen to me the biggest thing. That's weird is it fucking looks Fantastic, Sam that's the weird thing Get over that let's kill a fucking scumbag piece of shit. This is gonna be the j.b smoove season there It looks too slick. It does look slick I'm not used to I'm With you there when nothing's happening. I'm like this looks like a movie and then yeah, and there's a piece of shit And I'm like that's good odds. There's the old ABC who slided learn names obviously fuck is up What the fuck you want who the fuck are you the thing is though? It doesn't matter what fucking camera using or if you just point a camera a Larry David and Richard Lewis That's all you need please stop pointing the camera Richard look Here's the thing this is this is exactly what I was gonna talk about so I'm talking about Kirby enthusiasm And I'm like the snake is eating it, so I was like honestly He's a genius you see it's like I was like Larry David looks Fucking great for like how long the show's been off and coming back? He's 70 and I'm like he doesn't look that much Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's an aged, so I'm just like I looks fucking great everybody else in the show that's clearly aged. That's fine They're old, but it's like man Larry David looks fucking amazing now, so I'm talking about it and I get specific. Oh Richard Lewis does not look great No he's older how much six months in Sun come on But okay, so it's like I'm just like fucking Richard Lewis. Did not look great fucking Gus immediately It's like cuz he's dead he died, and I'm like what night didn't and Lindsay's like yay Did he died and they're like idiots Richard Lewis died? I'm like A soul monkey man. He said I think he died and I got yeah, man. I see these boxes I guess that there was like a look like shit, and then he died right after that so that was him dying. I'm like Die cuz like I'll pull it up and then a minute of silence I see him get to the Wikipedia page, which if you know it's right at the top? And I see him start scrolling down, and I go oh, what's that? He's like he's not dead It's the Mandela effect hutches like if you ever Have you ever state something and Lindsey immediately goes? Yeah, that's right. You're fuckin wrong. Yeah, that's how it works Gus is right yeah, he died, and I'm like Yeah Rich long alive yeah, he's alive Well, but he's alive. He's fine. He's doing great Release the lightning before having good on your phone. You could argue anything Yeah, it'd be a hundred percent wrong and just keep going that just ruins yeah Yeah, yeah, I could be wrong about anything and be the smartest guy my wife doesn't think now my wife doesn't think now We're if we're with other people and we'll be talking about something. There'll be some sort of discussion or discretion who are these other people? people People his neighbors key word German discussed, and I'll go he's an actor They say it was this situation where no he's not dead and then I get my phone out my wife goes. He's gonna Google it now I've got this little box in my hand with the answers for me to go fuckin soldier. Yeah get off those days for that Fucking mule is under the truck you gotta push They don't know they don't know that It's like walk around the schoolyard and tell people that's just what happened cuz I heard it It's like computer game codes, so cheap fast dude. I'm ready they were fucking scarce When I was a kid growing up Yeah it was Mental trying to get a cheat code or something like that when you learn that Chico to the beginning of Sonic with the game anyway that hours in school Amazing thing in the world I were down left right a B Select start fucking brilliant. Do you actually remember that she code obviously not? didn't do my desperately I used to have to go to the newsagent What would you owe us an Americanism for a newsagent library store paper shop a new store new still No one knows some where you buy newspapers newsstand And uh because I couldn't even afford to buy the magazine I would ask if I could pay To photocopy the the cheats that I wanted at the back of the magazine because that would cost Tempe so quick Yeah, exactly it's genius nowadays you just google it what they let you do that you they would I'm sorry because You see what you want 15 P for me what you want fuck nerd Copy something. I like Jeremy. He said like this Wasn't that I desperately? Many times tried to fucking cheat code in Tomb Raider to get her naked oh Dude, that was the that was the fuck I do Oh that everyone's telling me. It's not working Well Michael in his bedroom pee and his ankles yeah Jurgens hand lotion box of tissues Just hitting buttons going I can't work with this I just thought the idea of you turning to green pyramids to pink pyramid something like well. That's Like the idea that fucking smug shit That was cutting technology at the time That was the best there was oh yeah, but you weren't you you did those graphics were like oh my god. They're real It's a real Hewlett. Yeah, that is amazing. Yeah, I remember I think of course you can bitch about it now when I play Goldeneye on the n64 Italian naked no. I didn't know no me neither I Watch a shooter in Shu and I when I play coding oil in the n64 was like well. This is it yeah This is right. He leaves the pinnacle of Technology. They look exactly like It's photorealists, they're real humans, that's real. I played it recently like a couple years ago I was like I can't fucking see a thing yeah, it's just a blur of it is really shit and the controls of shit once I Hold the button aim it's like what the fuck is this the fucking great guy. Yeah, it was a great game Leave it where it was yeah rest in peace Colton. I thank God a stick. Yeah, you paved the way yeah Don't get home moat Yeah We used to play I don't know you guys like you pick characters it's like nobody's fucking allowed to be fucking odd-job Yeah, so god damn brainy You just fucking shoot over his fucking head, and then the opposite was like if you were a smug prick You'd be jaws because he's twice as tall and he's like twice this the hitbox good You met that guy I did and then he died he did die I had nothing to do with it set the achievement on what? I did I didn't kill Me yeah, oh, yeah We kill bad guys Jesus. Oh It's good knowing. You know we fucking killed him dead James like yeah I'm gonna come to America and stay with Gavin next week or next month like are you? I'm not gonna change the sheets I made you change your My well I told him my cat piss all over his bed. He's not you go I'm coming to state your Seanie to fucking change that mattress I Would have preferred if you didn't tell me I would have slept in it fine if you had it would owe me that the cat pissed in the bed that sleeps in when when I say yours I Would have just got on with my life. Nothing would have happened couldn't anything couldn't have done that to you I asked for Fatali son can do that's here. I asked for photographic evidence I took a picture of the old mattress in my street like I've definitely thrown it away Through a mattress because the cat pissed on it it looks Like a rodent thing but like over us yeah, I'm okay. Oh, yeah, that's gotta go piss and cat piss smells off Wife washer mattress also while we're talking about this, and I know this isn't the forum to have this discussion right yeah sure You have you just bought a new mattress and just let your cats go back in that room. No. I've locked it, right Okay, good - right. That's what locked it. I mean I'd let him go in there wouldn't tell you about it He's been pissing on it, but you know I think your cats are like scumbags, and I love it Yes me as a scumbag. Yes Jesus. Come back. I wonder where you learn like a security camera video Yeah, the security camera love CCTV so he has like when people come over I unplug Bulova I was like I'm unplugging this just so you don't feel weird to be fair. He unplugs the one you can see Hey look it's unplugged Obviously I was I know I know you say that does he have a recessed lights obviously the lights off pitch black It's hard for a writer red LED light in the corner Kalam, what do you want you? Yeah? Sure it is and I just can prove a point you should light a fire in there. It's yeah you hear the smoke alarm and light a fire Light a fire. Also as awesome as this Locanda Smoke alarm sound like it's zooming but you show me a video from your like camera I guess me will I walk into another room and grab like something out of a beanie babies grab a beanie, baby Which you have for yes, yes, it is a trough of beanie babies made tonight Smee goes upstairs He grabs a beanie baby and delivers it to a bedroom door like Gavin show me a video of Smee Happily walking up to this chest picking up the beanie baby in its mouth and like I'm on a fucking mission Walking down the hallways with the beanie, baby to deliver it yeah I'm gonna give them this and that's like It's why you have cameras and so you don't get creeped out by a new beanie, baby every day fucking camera. I put this here That's weird that I won't get mulder and scully on the fucking phone because there was a baby bite me in my business This is a Thai name-brand beanie baby collector's edition how did it get here if I if I put security cameras in my house I'd be so Bored ever thinking about what would be on them it'd be like alright. Yeah, here's Tuesday night There's me stumbling down the hallways to be in philippi. Okay, so what I need Is cats out the house, yeah Over and not fucking idiots They're idiots. I don't know cats are idiots. They belittle. Are you quite a while that's surely. That's the point of a cat I've got a dog. She's a fucking idiot. She's a pain in the arse If I could just go right fuck off for a little, huh? There's the door you can come and go as you please that that's the point of a cat isn't it you go Right do whatever it is that you do for six hours? No because I'm sorry that I my cat a cat That was like that that was like she yes, she And I'm and I'm the the cat's name. I'll I'm gonna refer to his mile instead of cats cat cuz this confusing his buck So my Allah would like good sweet little kitten let you know all Me bad then we took her out killed it And then we let her she was an outdoor cat she got to go outside and just fuck You do what you do, and then you come back, and you be a cat that was it This fucking cat is a psychopath it what we would find a head of a rabbit on like the second floor Patio area like it would be either be a head up there And there'd be pieces of rabbit Going down the fence to the dead rabbit like what the fuck is this and they're like Oh, just oh, she's bringing us a present showing you That cow was a demon. It's showing you it loves you. I hate that's like I say like Awful its presenters a ute one since these ng a sexist Miglin and cat people like all that's so sweet Yeah, it's fucking crazy is horrible I mean think I can take all this shit out of you And why I'm calling your face offing like a de you're putting in you're like. Oh, what's that bump right there? That's another tick all right great. Let's get that thing off of there fucking hate them keep the cat's inside because Listen I've never owned a cat Why are you talking? I would let it out though I'd let it do its cat thing so what you're saying is you would have a cat for like two months? Just let you count out let your cat Here's another problem. There's nothing to watch out, but this guy I had a cat. It was awesome kitten awesome Gavin stuck its finger up its ass. Yeah that has been a dickhead else he Put his finger in its asshole that happened look at this that I there was penetration The cat cat has been wrong ever since I was fucking in heat up to Gavin asshole in the air Nice why I'm saying I'm saying might your cat's out back Why are you doing this no, I was like I don't know I just stuck my hand like this for a while and eventually I put cabinet on my finger And I kept waving it around near its asshole He doesn't anally Rhian to a funny it did Right I know hang on. No. Don't worry about that. So how I'm justifying this I was pick a few just said oh the cat was in heat, and I was just pointing and it just got involved Oh God, that's what he's arguing with but yeah, I know yeah, that's so come on the cat. Just slipped I was picking up the cat and All of a sudden all of a sudden the tip of my finger was warm That's all I have I don't know it just got hot got hot Hey, thanks for coming us the cat was looking back at you. I quickly pour out and wash my lips. It made a fucking sound It was horrifying And weighty of you if it why were you why did you pay the cat up my own like this Shh? It'll all be over soon. I only see What happens in REO that justifies your finger in a cat's ass no means yes? I? Can't I can't explain hang on can we just from you. Did you put your finger in a cat's ass no no Yes or no question. It's a yes-or-no question was your finger in a cat's ass all on paper. Yeah, but the cat's Little klutzy cats are Let me ran out two in real time Let me wash my hand it was like that it was how much split second mistake I Don't mean I feel like I feel like there's a difference between accident and mistake Mistake means like you did it and you regretted it. You know like I made a mistake an Accidents like I had nothing to do with that it just happened Hey, thanks for coming to watch off time Thank You London tomorrow Love you that's it for James Buckley
