The Bosses of Lies of P Ranked from Worst to Best

hey everyone I'm Alex from cytonox and today I'm going to be ranking the bosses of lies of P from worst to best if you're like most people you probably saw the trailers for this game and thought whoa awesome a spiritual successor to bloodborne but it's Pinocchio neat at least that's what I thought after playing through it in its entirety I can indeed say that for better and worse it is extremely faithful to the typical from software formula the asterisk to that statement is that it means the game includes the traditional spoonful of garbage that pretty much all the souls games have except for maybe Dark Souls 3. this is a game with high highs and Dreadful wretched lows as much as I'm sure you're all eager to hear us pronounce yet another game as the new Game of the Year my nose would shoot out like a missile for making such a claim there are certainly things I love about it like the healing system and slightly more linear level design but anyone who completes the game is bound to run into issues horrendous backstab registration wonky hitboxes and some of the bigger enemies and dodging being all but useless are only some of the things that will come out to play over the course of your journey through crot as for the bar it really is as I said earlier the quality level is completely bipolar before I get into it thank you to our patrons for their support of the channel between pre-ordering Persona 3 Reloaded Persona 5 Tactical Spider-Man 2 ghost 1 and 2 Final Fantasy 7 rebirth and just recently this game the gaming industry has been relentlessly vacuuming money from my wallet so the help is much appreciated with all that said let's get into the video [Music] Lord Almighty this is one fight that I will forever remember and hold in the utmost disdain this fight is so [ __ ] horrible that I developed a psychic link to the person who created it and every time their fingers didn't put anything into a programming console I am beset by a shrill eardrum piercing Blast Of Sound and crumpled to the floor like a seizing epileptic the amount of completely separate [ __ ] variables that come together to form this tribunal-worthy atrocity is astounding I say this with 100 genuine seriousness this is one of the worst things I've ever had to experience in the name of running this channel I offer nothing but hatred spite scorn and the most heavy-handed of condemnations to this stupid chicken [ __ ] [ __ ] boss firstly it's technically not part of the fight but the run-up is miserable and believe me you will be doing this a lot storming the beach D-Day style was about as fun as having my dick grounded through a pencil sharpener let alone performing about 50 encores the actual fight is a game make fight wherein you cannot deal a reasonable amount of damage through attacking alone no you must stagger the boss into a fatal Blow by parrying him or attacking his unarmored leg until he falls to the ground this in itself is fine the armored Warrior and Sakura was sort of like that and that guy was pretty awesome the issue here is that in this game you have a little thing called stamina which you need to attack and block attacks it regenerates rather slowly do you know what fun little trick the boss has he's electrified every single hit he does to you even the ones with his decidedly non-electrified looking fist will inflict the shock status effect which slows your stamina Regen to a [ __ ] crawl this could be forgivable if not for the strange way in which this mechanic works you do not need the meter to fill to trigger the debuff like oh every other action game status effect in history including others and lives of p no merely having any build up on this bar whatsoever Dooms you to absurdly slow stamina regen I'm sure you can see where this is going by now this is a fight where most of the time you literally can't do anything because a single action taken towards achieving one of the two to three staggers required to kill him will set you back 10 seconds worth of stamina if you do the math that adds up to a boring and frustrating [ __ ] waste of my time if anyone from neowiz sees this video which I frankly doubt because non-western game devs would sooner guzzle a porta potty full of diarrhea than listen to community feedback I hope it inspires some sort of change in your wicked heart like when Scrooge is haunted by the Christmas Phantoms I can't believe this is a thing an actual human being made up next we have another fight that can suck my pee organ I'll preface here that I'm aware that these kinds of games are far more frustrating on initial playthroughs than subsequent ones so comparing my commentary here to my love of from soft schemes would be a bit unfair I've beaten all of those like 900 times each so I'm just used to the garbage and those and it barely bothers me anymore there is a faint chance that some of the dregs of this list would grow over time into a hateable but amusing Boogeyman sort of like the Bed of Chaos is to Dark Souls that said these bottom three bosses are genuinely so bad that I don't even want to replay the game and I'm unsure if I ever will the mad clown puppet is unusual in the sense not of being particularly bad to fight on his own but being a victim of his surroundings so to speak he is housed in a rather large but crowded room with him comes a gaggle of about six flamethrower puppets and two ball chucking spinny guys an optimistic comparison might be the tower night or the one reborn who I detest but to a lesser extent than this clown fire attacks I'll generate a status Effect called overheat which when filled drains your health at a ludicrously lethal rate the flamethrower guys can all give you this debuff in a matter of seconds if you step into their line of fire you might say but it's easy to avoid just run around and backstab them bro believe you me I have tried and tried and tried the hit registration for backstabs in this game is constantly smoking crack meth dick and [ __ ] horse tranquilizer anything I can get its grubby hands on almost unfailingly Pinocchio will decide that rather than instantly killing them and becoming temporarily immune to damage from backstab iframes he should stand completely still and perform a light attack allowing the enemy and anything nearby to smelt him into scrap metal I only recorded my successful run of the fight to save storage but I swear on both Jack and I's honor as YouTubers that this [ __ ] was responsible for 75 of my deaths in this encounter the ball throwing guys are just annoying spammers who rarely kill you or ruin runs with their Shenanigans but are still an obnoxious nuisance to this vile cocktail the clown himself is not fun to fight by any stretch of the word but if you parry his Spin Attack reliably he'll be stunned without Too Much Ado there's only so much I could say Beyond this if you've experienced this fight you already know how much it sucks I'm exhausted from all this hating I don't like to be this mean but the game forced my hand cidenox is above all else honest to a fault we neither glaze nor disparage undeservingly and this fight deserves hatred foreign I know this is supposed to be an Alex only video but I did actually play this game as well up to the end of chapter six before uninstalling it and Alex graciously allowed me to write a segment in his video I did enjoy lies of P but felt it had a plethora of issues especially with its bosses and it's never more evident than with the black rabbit Brotherhood the gameplay and mechanics are clearly inspired by both bloodborne and sekiro but when attempting to merge the two it fails to capture the magic of either I know I'm setting myself up for an endless stream of get good comments but for me lies of Peace Perry timing is just simply too tight and unrewarding to be the Forefront mechanic of the game sekuro's system works so well because the better you are at it the more opportunities you get to attack a boss this as well as how perfect parries decrease the boss's defense gauge even though lies of P does the same thing with the visceral attacks in between those your offense is practically non-existent due to the extreme aggression of every major enemy reprieve is an afterthought in this game and to come full circle back to the eldest of the black rabbit brothel as Alex and I kindly labeled it you're going to be spending essentially the entire fight running around and parrying and only rarely will you even get the chance to heal nonetheless attack the boss I do think the concept of parrying a weapon enough to where it breaks is interesting but to the extent it requires it's an unreasonable addition also once again what makes the from soft bosses so great and why the major Elden ring fights for the most part fell off is that you get to attack the bosses on a sort of pendulum Rhythm this is because you're fighting a boss not defending yourself from a boss lies of Peace fights feel like an endless string of perfect guards one combo maybe you get a hit off and then right back at you with another five six even seven hit string back to the Brotherhood I'm also not a huge fan of gank Encounters in a defensive Style game there's no Rhyme or Reason to it especially here because on the one hand yes it's harder because there's more to deal with but on the other the enemies are so lazily designed you can just walk right up behind them and backstab them to death and get it back to a 1v1 in under 30 seconds from my perspective it just feels like lies of P's bosses were made to be difficult for the sake of difficulty every move set features five or more lengthy combos that prevent you from attacking at all and when you do take a swing at a boss more likely than not the rather respond immediately with an unavoidable Theory attack or another combination but since you're stuck in the middle of an attack animation you can't defend yourself I command ground Aid studio for their efforts and I actually love the scrapped Watchmen but as a whole I can't say anything less than that lies of P's bosses were in utter failure and fall well sort of the from software Goliath they attempted to replicate this is a painful to write segment because this boss was almost good it was so close the ingredients were in the stew for a respectable gank encounter unique movesets for the combatants good Arena design for breaking aggro and lines of fire it could have been good I trusted you guys to redeem the dog [ __ ] that was the black rabbit brothel encounter in the mallam district which as you heard from Jack was quite the vile experience I foolishly allowed hope to penetrate my cold hardened broken heart I had my fun fighting these guys for a little while but fun time was over when they randomly whipped out their [ __ ] older brother from Beyond the Grave for whatever reason the developers seemed to be under the impression that players would want to once again fight this guy in a 2V1 pin correct actually we don't want to do that again it was horrible stop torturing us you can break his weapon like last time in theory but it requires a comical amount of perfect parries that nobody would ever naturally perform in a fight that takes less than like 20 minutes this is still significantly less horrible than the last encounter but that's a low low bar to surpass at least they look cool foreign [Music] of the future is one of the Hallmark new puppets introduced into crotch shown off proudly at their little science fair convention thing in chapter 7. it can do anything you'd possibly want a robot to do like destroy things with wrecking balls and walk just don't tell it to hang out outside of a poison swamp or attack between its legs then you're going to run into issues this fight is literally just the last giant from Dark Souls 2 but if he was in a poison swamp I hate to be the lazy oh my God it's just like Dark Souls comparison guy but this is seriously just factual I don't know what to tell you it's the same [ __ ] boss it's fine I guess no strong feelings I'll shock it up as a win that we're out of War crime territory thank you here we have a little collection of humanoid foes they are all passable enough and the Mad donkey in particular gives you a swag as hell mask that I wore for the entire game after acquiring it I'm used to fighting homeless people to the death so this is sort of just business as usual now I know how athletes probably feel playing 2K Games I will say that the NPC quest lines were really cool alidoro and the cat Fox Duo were both memorable to me in particular this fight was originally one of the bottom rankers primarily due to an embarrassing lack of knowledge on my part the Crux of my argument was that the charge attack this boss has feels virtually impossible to dodge which I'll still say is probably true Jack Attack I know you saw me playing this [ __ ] live on Playstation screen share can you please go to the comments section and confirm to the public that it is indeed horseshit thanks bro anyways the Revelation I had while fighting one of the last bosses in the game is that you can in fact Parry the red attacks you can't block them no but parrying works somehow I just missed this I guess the game tells you when the little text pop up at the start so I guess I just misread it and assumed it worked like sakira's red attacks I don't know how easy this attack would be to Parry anyway since charge attacks were always obnoxious garbage in any fight with a large monster that isn't named vort thus the puppet devouring green monster manages to climb from the abysmal anal cavity of the list to an ambiguous rating of probably better than random NPCs when he isn't harassing you with unblockable moves he's actually fairly enjoyable and I'll give a marks for that the second phase sees him absorbed the scrapped Watchmen of vastly superior boss and take on some of his moves along with it is it lazy and perhaps indicative of creative bankruptcy perhaps it's smidgen but they could have picked far worse things for it to emulate so I'll take what I can get if I saw him gobble up the corpse of that jumping mini boss from earlier in the area I'd have instantly quit out of the game and hung myself foreign [Music] moves or something but he looks awesome and never made me angry I found him to be pretty fun to be honest he may suffer in the memorability department for being neither hard nor irritating but I think there's something Noble in that the everyday salt of the earth person may not go down in history but it's better to be that guy than like Pol Pot or something at least Paul pot didn't inflict shock if you punched him like someone on this list for a mini boss this guy goes kind of hard he has a cool design and is pretty fun to Parry with timings that don't feel irritating or bizarre I have no idea what he is to be honest but sometimes it's best not to question Providence he can clone himself which was a site that filled me with Terror initially but his clone has a reasonable amount of health so catastrophe was thankfully averted his clone could stand to be a little beefier honesty I was able to murk him before he even took his baby steps or spoke his first word it's a shame he had to go so young because with an enormous brain like that I just know he'd have grown up to be a cytoscriber foreign [Music] as a kid my father made me go to a Fourth of July parade held just outside of DC when I was seven or so and it was rather boring we leaned against a wall making up the side of some guy's sloped driveway waiting for passing floats to toss worthless knickknacks at our feet for children to fight over the only thing I cared about collecting were the rolls of Smarties and those were always snatched up before I could even comprehend they had been thrown thankfully for the Youth of crot they have guys like this stomping around which I imagine is considerably more entertaining more entertaining than that those fighting an evil one and blowing it up first bosses tend to place low on these rankings of hours but this is honestly a rather entertaining bout as far as they go it's a side effect of being fought a considerable amount of time after learning the basics no doubt instead of being used as a tutorial fight he's a nice level of challenge where it isn't trivial but he's not going to make anyone Rage Quit off the bat that could still be said for a fair amount of first bosses though what makes him a bit more above average in that respect is he doesn't feel like a first boss if that makes sense most of them very limited move sets and it shows that their primary purpose is showing newbies the ropes if I was just watching a trailer of the game with this guy in it I'd guess he was like the third boss Kudos on that front I am curious what the deal is with the enormous iron cage in the clawed hands though what possible reason would anyone need this stuff for a parade happy Veterans Day check out this cage full of prisoners of war and political dissidents we rounded up maybe they export these things to North Korea guys you'll never guess what this is It's the parade Master but harder yawns wow I guess it's marginally better because it's less easy I still packed them up in under two minutes but they were two fairly enjoyable minutes props for the cool design changes at least [Music] much like bloodborne lies of Peace penultimate boss is a British guy who wants to [ __ ] a doll I don't really understand what this guy was trying to do because I haven't watched 900 lore videos or read enough item description so any story implications were lost on me he becomes a God by chugging enough souls and then his reward is becoming fat and ugly this is something we joke about in Resident Evil all the time but what are these guys gonna do after they kill you if their plans work out like that's awesome bro enjoy life as a [ __ ] blob at least in any scenario requiring The Swinging of a blunt weapon and firing of magic projectiles he's set for life or would have been if I didn't kill him the first phase is one of those kind and charitable cases where they more or less just exist to teach you how to handle the second phase which is like the first but on crack the difficulty Gap is rather large I must say I was laughing it up my first time until he completed his godhood transition and he humbled me with one of those giant skyhand shockwaves he's really hard to read due to how strange his movements are and a lot of his combos have very slight animation differences that are extremely important to pick up sometimes I'd see him taking a super long time to pick his mace back up and assumed he was charging a massive final combo ending blow only to realize I just sat there like an idiot during a rare damage opportunity conversely there were many times where I'd think I was in the clear and he'd suddenly overhead clobber me into the pavement it was a little annoying but it is technically a possible final boss so I was willing to put aside a little salt on my end because it's better that than just making him fodder he's not the best the game has to offer but it was definitely satisfying scraping through the intensity of that second phase to finish him off [Music] I feel a bit disappointed right now someone once told me that the reason Geppetto made Pinocchio in the original story was because he was a pedophile which would have made for extremely easy comedic pickings for a vulgar route like myself however I could not find any evidence that that was actually the case I didn't look into it that deep because to be honest I really didn't want to Google anything that would give me answers about that and possibly expose myself to unknown Horrors on Google Images but I feel fairly confident it's just hearsay in lies of P at least Geppetto definitely didn't do that although he could have fooled me with all that to be a good boy talk I know what kind of Twitter accounts you follow you dirty dog here he wants to rip out your heart and put it into another puppet that looks considerably less human than you do maybe it'll suddenly turn fleshy once it's implanted I don't know I got the ending where Geppetto kills himself and then berates you afterwards Jack and I joked about seeing this coming miles away but what I didn't see coming was this extra boss fight I thought it would just be a decision thing but Geppetto is [ __ ] Stone Cold and decides to ice you then and there it's a very traditional sword fight type Affair in a lot of ways one of the most simple fights in the game it's not very flashy but it's still memorable it's not very challenging but my victory was still rather close if you enjoy Sakura's deflect-based sword fights this one will probably appeal to you a good deal [Music] the Archbishop was once a good man until he wasn't and then he turned into a blue turtle with a vagina shell it happens to the best of us this fight is a two phaser but it has a rather unusual issue that makes its sort of moot this is of course that if you're fighting the boss the way 90 percent of people are going to the two phases are virtually identical see the big change in phase two is that he pops out his blue rocket and uses that to fight you if you're facing the other side of him the thing is this side is like 10 times harder than the other side there isn't a single perceivable advantage to actually fighting this guy other than stating your curiosity I'd get it if you took extra damage but there's for real just nothing thus you are given two choices get your rectum blown open by the penis guy or repeat phase one for an easy kill why the hell is he number five well he looks awesome and for the record phase one is pretty entertaining I'm not knocking it or anything don't get me wrong I just think fighting the same boss in a double header is kind of bizarre nice change of pace from the usual robot guy bosses fought up till this point foreign this dude is literally just a pain unless you have no idea who Bane is I'm willing to bet my left nut all of you had the exact same thought when he first showed up thankfully he kept Bane's tendency to have pretty good boss fights when he crossed over here from the Arkham verse this was by far my most ass clenching victory in my playthrough I finished him off in a last-second Do or Die situation where I was doomed if I didn't stand my A-game those are the wins that stick with you it was an awesome feeling actually pulling through usually the way these fights play out is you get slammed the first time you get to the second phase but I actually rolled with it and clutched the win that it's pretty similar to the first phase is no doubt why but it's enough progression to feel merited definitely didn't need a second health bar so they made the right call here the idea that the next stage of evolution is turning large and blue is still a hard sell but at least this guy is sort of human looking I suppose it's not often you get to square off with a bare-fisted Powerhouse in one of these games so it's a cool shake up from the same old same old welcome to the Twisted world of crot where bloodthirsty puppets roam the land mutated beasts scour the Alleyways and police officers are actually evil yikes boy am I glad our world isn't like that at all the scrapped Watchman was the end point of the demo and I gotta say he left quite a good impression the early game of lies of p is very strong overall but this is the Highlight it's like dark Beast Pearl if he wasn't a dog [ __ ] boss which makes for a really solid fight when executed properly he has distinct visual tales for all his moves but still retains a hefty challenge to him that ensures it's worth their while to learn the proper way to counter them all I suppose specters are an option too but if you summon you definitely kiss your dad on the lips I hate to be the Souls game dick measuring contest guy but you literally just aren't even playing the same game as everyone else if you split aggro like that the scrapped Watchman is a respectable foe who deserves a fair fight you can't just go jumping him like that all right [Music] this is absolutely in my opinion the hardest boss in the game that isn't an unfair mess designed to torture you it's also one of a scant few cases where the second phase is dramatically different from the first lexasia starts out as a big great sword lumbering lunk and is pretty good at it for the record I happen to be partial to fights like this because it's way more satisfying to deflect great swords than it is smaller weapons where I kind of just match the deflect button and pray that they're hitting me when I press it it's nice having a rhythm like one two three four five instead of like one two three four five six seven eight 19 11 12. that said the second phase of this fight is indeed one of those fights where you're being attacked a hundred times a minute and receiving harassment in a variety of forms aoes lingering electric charges and lightning bolts are all whizzing around at a pace faster than you'll probably be able to comprehend it first it's honestly rather annoying until the fight Clicks in a number of ways for starters this is where I figured out that you can in fact Parry red attacks which was pretty useful info that isn't all though you can also deflect the lightning bolts like holy [ __ ] that's badass sending them back at her for significant damage is the most reliable damage you can do to her once you get the timing down and it scratches my brain just right watching them turn red as you parry him if you can't pull this off which you should be able to it's not that hard I don't know what you'd even do she's so fast and it's so hard to tell when her combos are done they're finding a gap in her defenses the usual way is a Fool's errand more often than not once you pull off a stun you're pretty much in the end zone but she has a cheeky pre-stagger attack in both phases that caught me each time I first saw it for those of you who want a boss that can kick your teeth in without making you want to blow your head off this is the one bonus points for making the checkpoint right outside the arena Too Much appreciated [Music] I've spent the whole video making comparisons to Soul's stuff but this favorite fight of mine actually makes me think of near automata more than anything else I've gone on records saying I'm no lies of P loremaster but I did pick up on a cool detail that Romeo is housing the soul of your dead best friend from when you were alive as Carlo he's had his brain scrambled by Geppetto but still makes an Earnest attempt to explain things to you without resorting to violence in a very near-cut scene looking play Pinocchio is a belligerent [ __ ] unfortunately and pimp slaps his hand away that he was being offered a vomit rag instead of an olive branch similarly to the fight with lexasia the fight begins with a slow heavy hitter and shifts to a fast also heavy hitter in his giant incredibly well-designed robot form Romeo uses a variety of swings and weird vacuum moves to whittle away at you increasing in power and speed as he draws closer to death Jack and I both never figured out how exactly you dodge one of the specific variations of the vacuum move where seemingly no matter how far away you run he still manages to nail you with it I'm sure that there is a way but my lone complaint with this fight is that should be a bit more obvious whatever that thing may be anyways that's just the start I find this phase pretty hard but apparently I'm just a scrub because everyone else seems to find Phase 2 way more challenging I actually killed him my second time making it to the second phase but I did fully unload my Arsenal on him so it was an all-out effort one thing I really appreciate here is that this is the only fight in the game where dodging is actually vaguely useful in fact it's super useful here strafing to your left will evade the vast majority of incoming damage which sent me back to the good old days of fighting lady Maria For the First Time picture that gif of the ugly french guy in Ratatouille eating the uh thing he eats I haven't seen that movie since I was like six coming to break here it's awesome and I must say the soundtrack here is epic as hell they cooked in the sound Department great sound design all around but the music in particular is incredible I wish it was easier to find online but the vast majority of it hasn't even been uploaded to YouTube by random people yet so it's tough going I'll close off by saying that overall I have faith in these guys to make a good sequel out of that Wizard of Oz trailer lodged in the credits it's easy as if you were to walk in and drag my nuts over everything because it's fun and it's funny and it's scary to like things there's absolutely some atrocious [ __ ] in this game but I know they can do better the next time they put something out I will be there and I think it could be great cheers to Romeo for being a cool ass boss fight I kneel thanks so much for watching and I hope you enjoyed if you liked this video please subscribe like and all that jazz and tune in for weekly uploads that's all for now deuces

Channel: Cytonox

Views: 56,312

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Id: s9-k4I1s6_Q

Length: 25min 48sec (1548 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 25 2023