The Best of Oprah Winfrey (August 29 1991)

you know i always find it just amazing what people say when you ask them about their relationships and their mates that's what we found out when we commissioned a gallup poll of couples and the studio audience that you're going to meet on this best of oprah show i tell you it has to be one of the best audiences and most outspoken i've ever seen i remember this woman got up and started talking about her husband's butt i won't give it away it's coming up listen to these intimate questions and think about how you at home might answer them first of all think about this who is the most creative in your bedroom you or your husband second question are you sneaky and do you hide money ever from your spouse four dollars even or how about how about this one how often do you put that roast in the oven right there have sexual fantasies about someone other than your main man well we wanted to know how well american couples really know each other in the 1990s so the oprah winfrey show commissioned a special gallup poll to find out the answers to these and other questions these are only couples in america so those of you who are watching in poland and you're watching in japan watch because we're not necessarily talking about you but we think this may be universal so some of the answers are surprising and we're going to share the best results with you today let's start with the first question that we asked and that first question was what is your husband's best body part and you answered his butt he has a great butt [Music] your husband has a great butt yeah he sleeps naked at night and when he wakes up in the morning and goes to the bathroom it's great and this is your husband standing next to you yes that's time this is your husband okay okay now what i'm gonna ask you do i know this wasn't a part of what you thought was going to happen we now cause i didn't know she was going to say that we now everybody's dying to see you behind walk right on down there let's see all right uh there's something for everybody in america i will say because i mean this it looks better in jeans when he's got i mean it's a fine butt really it is i'm not yeah would you would you have said would you have said that's your best body part did you know your wife thought that your butt was one of the finest she's ever known i wouldn't think so no i think my chest would be the best you thought your chest was the best that's good too what is your everything's good everything's good that's good now that that was your answer did you have an answer for her her eyes are her best her eyes are at best okay but your butt's really singing to her that's great that's really great thanks a lot how did you all answer that question how'd you answer a question well my husband's best body part is his muscle between his legs [Applause] my uh right we made you happy yes that's the answer you wanted to hear okay i have to say that was not on the gallup poll the top answers that we got were for the face the chest the eyes and the the butt was uh number four but i see that you all go right to the point here so that's it that's definitely it how long have you been married nine years nine and it still is the best part thank you very much your husband's worst body part and your answer was his stinky feet the stinky feet the pizza top answer we got here um what is it do they always stink always i can be watching tv last week i was watching tv i'm like what is that i don't know dude let me say sir do you know your feet stink they don't bother me they're the under end he's red is a beat now but did you did she did you know your feet stink yeah yeah do they sneak all the time no i don't think they do she says they do they stink all the time yep so that's the worst body part the stinky feet okay let me ask you this what is your wife's best body part uh her breasts now let me ask you what is it about her breasts that you like well they're [Applause] larger and and and have you always liked large breasts uh yeah and a lot of my friends like hers too also [Applause] they compliment me they compliment me on them they compliment you and me i'm my wife's breast right they they say to you what's your name alan they say alan guy your wife has great breasts yeah they do and does that make you feel good when other guys say that makes you feel good oh yeah especially if theirs isn't and they wish that they had that much so it does you more good if like if a guy comes up to you and his wife has no breasts it's just an ego trip yeah it's just you know it's what i prefer and uh when guys say that to me like my friends or something they'll say wow you know yeah i know i live with them you know [Applause] okay well the national anthem breasts were number one i guess a lot of men are like you breast face legs and then then the butt came in so but butt's low on your list of things yeah and it's got nice eyes too yeah it's nice yeah but the breasts is what really counts yeah oh yeah definitely she's nice all the way around thank you lot your wife's worst body part and his feet so it's if it you don't like her toes well she has this one toe and she had i guess he had a foot broken in one time his toes just sits out like a thumb and do is do you think your toe's pretty bad yeah it's pretty bad so i had bunion surgery and the doctor over corrected it and it stands over by itself but his feet are the worst yes it smells bad i think feet are a problem in america do you will all the wives say that there's a foot problem no no you're shaking your head your husband has really wonderful smelling feet enough to smell them but they're not even close enough to smell them no i don't smell his feet i look at his beautiful face how long have you been married two years i was wondering i was wondering if uh the kind gentleman there would trade his wife's smack him she said you're dead you're dead you might as well go on and just step all in it now cause you're dead ride home because you want you would like her to have more breasts oh yeah more of breasts or more breath bigger bigger yeah okay she is what she is exactly yeah yeah okay okay when we come back um where couples prefer to have a little hanky-panky we'll talk about that in a moment [Applause] today we are revealing the results of a special gallup poll conducted for the oprah winfrey show dealing with how well couples really know each other and at our request the gallup organization conducted a random survey of 250 couples and they asked this question among many others do you buy things and hide them from your spouse 50 of the men answered that they do i'm really surprised that so many men do that and 42 of the women said they do how about you the answer is i do you do a lot a lot she hides do you hide no you live he doesn't hide because he doesn't buy and he gets a rash whenever he sees me come home with packages so rather than cause a disturbance in the house as i walk in the back door i'll just throw him in the pantry and then when he's off doing something i'll pull him out hide him in the closet in the trunk of the car just places that um have you hidden things and forgotten that you hid them yes often i mean uh i do i i ramp up a present and i'll put it away and i'll say dick tell remind me where i put this remind me you know in three weeks or a month when i need it where i put it yes i do and then i think it's because i'm over 40. i do i think it has what you do but you never hide anything you never hit in one thing not that i can remember okay thanks we asked this question we asked the question do you hide money from your spouse 21 of the men in the gallup poll said that they did 29 of the women said that they also hide money do you well i found out last night that he hides money from me we've only been married a very short time what's short to you three weeks oh sure [Laughter] oh no so last night was the first night we were doing build together and there was a line on on the list of bills that said savings and i asked where's that savings he's like oh uh i have an account and uh it's in new jersey and he said he wanted to surprise me with it but wow so how much have you hidden enough so do you work in the home or outside of the home i'm outside of the home okay so does this mean you're going to start hiding too oh yes i'll hide in like connecticut or something okay so you've hidden enough and and that's okay with you that you hide it is it okay with you then yeah i didn't know now i know now i know where it is he said he wanted to surprise me and buy a house someday but i think if he had that much money i'd find it someday okay oh here comes a question i know you all are gonna like where do you prefer to have sex now 81 of the people who were asked this question said the bedroom and 11 said someplace else your answer is the washing machine on the spin cycle it [Applause] vibrates now i have never heard that in my life in my life i never heard that yes sir yes it's fun on the golf course yes day or night she's just so embarrassed she can't believe it stand up sign up come a little with the red dress on out there on the golf horse any particular hole [Applause] that's bad that was so bad i even i feel bad i apologize that was bad i couldn't resist it though i couldn't respond yeah what do you want to say yeah uh-huh well if we can't do it on the kitchen sink a pool table is nice everybody the level but i don't i don't have to bend or anything okay oh this is i this must be oh my goodness i did not only 11 said someplace else so i'm surprised at this yeah uh well one time he went to the zoo and seems like the animals had the right idea so we joined in over on a bench on the side of brookfield zoo day or night day or night they're not they're not open at night you gotta jason yeah we didn't climb any fences so it was during the day that's pretty bold were you scared uh no but the choo-choo train started to come by with people so we really i can't believe this i can't believe this yes yes the brookville zoo we like it in the pool so it's our off [Laughter] season okay and pool at your house or in just any old pool i can but we don't have like like a lot of trees or a fence so we have to be real discreet and hope the neighbors don't drop by okay in the pool in the pool yes sir well you know what just a suggestion the water filtration plant right over here [Music] yes so bro i feel that um whatever you feel comfortable at doing whatever you want to do alone you're doing with your mate and i have you know your favorite place is wherever you want to do it at don't take the notion here okay okay okay coming up we're gonna find out who is more creative in bed who he initiates most often husbands or wives back in a moment [Music] [Applause] so the oprah winfrey show did a gallup poll we had the gallup organization interview couples around the country and asking them certain questions that would indicate how well they knew each other and that's really what we're doing on this show today talking about how well you know your mate asking this question that was asked in the gallup poll for us who is more creative in bed you or your spouse 67 percent of the men who were questioned thought that they were and 24 of the women thought that they were some thought that both were creative what do you say i say that we're both creative um we come up with our own ideas like shortly after we were married i made an obstacle course throughout the house and we had to do something we have 48 rooms in our house so uh what were you saying said that we have 48 rooms in our house so it was amazing the thing i'd like to say is i can't i'm going to make sure i'm home for the next time my wife washes clothes yeah because that spin cycle is kind of intriguing isn't it and so you say both you say both of your creators got his own little game too and we we can't wait to hear it well uh it's uh it's a star trek thing it was kind of funny on our first anniversary she wrote to jonathan brandmeyer and brandon martin brandmeyer is a very famous dj here in chicago and he called me and woke me up and uh he wanted to know about star trek so uh very interesting very interesting could you say because i've already blown what you can say on tv today but could you could you in very diplomatic terms tell us what that involves i'm really i find this fascinating that you are is it that bad no well it involves a lot of pillows and rolling around and i'm captain kirk so you guys are you guys are you guys are pretty creative yes very very creative okay you wanted to say something go to mike you're standing up right there just go right to the mic yes hi oprah both of us are very creative but he is extremely creative one night i came one night i came home from work a long day's work too kenny g playing on the cd uh-huh that's good kenny g is good very good good to come home too yeah and mark did a little romantic dance number for me with his clothes on or off both started and then we flipped onto our water bed which had no sheets and was full of um baby oil [Music] okay wait a minute that's a good question too yeah didn't they get caught between the bed frame and the mattress the wooden frame and the mattress you're a woman that worries about the practical work not the baby oil not the sliding not tinny g you want to know if you're going to get stuck between the benches okay are you all very creative too somewhat somewhat i think we're about equal you know so what does that mean um would you have been on uh a water bed with baby oil does that appeal to you we wouldn't be writing to the forum column in penthouse about any of our escapades we would not no sure would you like to write to the formula i do i do like spin dry i think we might like spin drop we might try it i think that's the most popular answer today so spin drive thank you a lot all right um who initiates sex most often in your relationship you or your spouse the gallup poll for the oprah winfrey show say 66 of the men said that they do initiate sex and only 17 of the women said they do your answer would be the man definitely the men i think he chases me around every day he wants it i tell him yeah i tell him mike no you gotta stop am i gonna be able to walk every day okay how long have you been married 13 years aren't you glad he's still chasing you yeah well he stole me he married me when i was 17. so it's been a long time but i keep telling us because he's italian he's just in his blood so would you like it if she initiated sex more often i beg her to like do so you get tired of doing the chasing well you know i'm a liberated man i i could go for her chasing me once in a while all right well you were saying what you were saying what did that get i say when um i initiate it he gets more excited out of it and i eventually get more out of it so it's better if the women start initiating it a little bit more i'd say the two of you have gotten quite a bit out of it really when when's the baby do two weeks good for you thank you now let me ask you this this is real personal you still have sex while you're pregnant can you do that uh well most people can but we were told not to so other ways there's other ways which we won't go into right now you all want to answer this question yes mm-hmm we we just had a baby seven weeks ago and he's going nuts i needed bad oprah i didn't real bad not once a week three times a day so it's been it's been a while since you've been together so to speak yeah how long i don't know this question so you answer how long do you have to wait after you're pregnant and the baby comes six weeks six weeks at least yes so somebody just said your time is up your time's about up right yes you better believe it i don't know go home i understand yes you want to say what yes yes ma'am my doctor my doctor said keep at it all the way through the pregnancy because it makes delivery a lot easier yeah that's what you keep telling her too all right we'll be back in a moment asking the question did you learn important things about your spouse after you were married that you found very surprising we'll be back with that [Music] question our entire audience today is filled with couples and they're answering questions that we asked in our gallup poll survey did you learn important things about your spouse after you were married that you found to be surprising that's a question we asked and your answer to that question is was her age aha i lied a little bit you lied a little bit how many years uh 10 years i mean when i was gonna do it i did it right you lied and said you were 10 years younger yes you did and he believed me and i found out by her um going into her purse and pulling out her license did you pull it out on purpose ah on accident on accident it fell out and and what did you think what did i think well age is only a number so it didn't really matter that bad but uh i was kind of uh i should say shocked did you did you approach her about it what'd you say uh yeah when the time was right when how old did you how did you tell him you were um i was i still said i was a couple years older but i i made it 10 years younger you said you were older a couple years older than me but but i still made it was still 10 years younger than which i'm 28 and she said she was 31. uh-huh no no no no no no how did let's get it straight yeah yeah you told him you were he was 25 at the time and i was i said i was 28. okay and you were really 38 yes okay [Music] but as long as i didn't act it or anything i thought i could probably pull it off until i felt a time that i could sit him down and tell him when were you planning when were you planning on doing that well i knew it had to be soon [Applause] i figure though when when our son is is 21 and he's 50 and going out uh i'll probably be dead but or in a home and they can use my social security check so you so you were how long have you been married a little less than a year okay so you found out how long into the marriage it was soon after yeah well you were dating for a year and a half and he didn't know he didn't know no okay so then you found out you thought oh the age doesn't matter right but were pretty upset with her for telling that oh yeah slight fit a little bit a slight bib i mean it was a low blow but you know could you do it you know okay okay everything's working out you already loved me yeah i really loved it before that so like i said ages only number and uh see i figured if i told him at the beginning she would she would have scared me off well and he would have had a different impression of me like what you were old yeah i know i know exactly what you mean i understand ever completely everything's fine now when's the baby due in six days six days okay congratulations congratulations okay thank you all both anything else you want to say no no not really okay okay she's wonderful we ask men if they want their wives to significantly alter their hairstyle perhaps by changing its color or wearing a wig nine percent said yes 91 of the men said no they didn't their wives hair was just fine you said what oprah i'd like my wife to change uh her hair by wearing different kind of wigs when we're in bed together that makes him happy excuse me you what you want something you hadn't thought of that in the washing machine tell you put the wig on turn that spin cycle on it's going to be great how do you feel about that well if i put a wig on and i get bigger breasts that means i'm going to be a new person and he can't handle me in bed so how is he can handle strength [Applause] i have heard this i've heard other men say this too they like the idea of their wives looking like other people is that what you want what and what would that do for you a wig well the only thing i could say is wait till we get home we'll see who's hot and who's not right yeah we'll see yeah okay but really what would a wig do for you uh probably turn me on more because it's a change of pace change of pace okay yeah anybody here want a wig anybody else we thought of that no what what this guy is talking about his wife having a wig i was in a at a bowling alley and i my wife walked in she had went out with her friends to get her hair fixed which i thought would be kind of like this you know and i'm standing there and i kind of look down and i see this lady with her hair just form like this and it's red and i've seen the colt that i had bought for from my wife you know so i looked and i kind of turned around and you know i looked again and he looked at me three times i didn't know who i was i didn't know who she was i said i told my buddy i said hey i think that's my wife and i stand here and i look and i look and i look and finally somebody that is your wife so i said uh honey uh you want to come here a minute uh say it like that say what i said on there say it but he mouthed it and i had to get down there immediately is what he meant you didn't like the hair it's about the color of this lady's hair right here and you didn't like her hair though no i love her hair eight inches cut was up to here and red i did not know who she was and it was a washout i see the way it is now i see we've changed i see we've changed how many of these couples have ever considered an affair we'll find out when we come back [Applause] we're continuing our couple's gallup poll here have you ever considered having an affair 18 percent of the men said yes 16 of the women said yes they have some sense um and the rest of them i don't know what to say but anyway you all said what i said you considered having an affair yes i did it was at a time in our marriage when we were having a lot of difficulties and how long had you been married at the time about a year and i was pregnant at the time and i think he was going through you were going to have an affair pregnant yeah but uh no it was uh we were having some problems i guess he was going through his midlife crisis or suffering from pms or something but but no it was a lot of times where i just felt like he didn't care about me before i got pregnant i really discussed because i've been married before and had other children i do not want to go through this pregnancy alone i really need you to be there for me and he wasn't and a boyfriend who i had dated previous today dating my husband um no he would always come into where i work and tell me oh you look so beautiful today or all this you know just those little things that you need it wasn't the sex because the sex has always been great but it was just that i did not feel like emotionally he was there for me and i felt like i was really alone now did you tell him this he knew i think yeah you knew you knew she was considering an affair well i didn't know it was going that far but it bothered me that he kept coming into her work all the time it drove me nuts actually as a matter of fact i used to leave work in the middle of the afternoon just to make sure she was still at work and she went over to her work you did yeah but but you weren't there to give her the emotional support that she thought she needed where were you i don't know well um oh for to give you an example i went in for one of my checkups one time which he had promised he would go to all of my checkups with me and i had not been feeling well the doctor ended up putting me on a on a fetal monitor and he just was at that baseball game you know that baseball game was just so important that's where he had to be yeah so i understand please oh i know he's grown he's wrong we just did a show on sports fanatics and this is a big problem but you're better now right oh wonderful things have been going right now how did you turn him around um well we kind of had a little bit of a separation and uh just it was just a real like a talking kind of had a little bit of separation a little bit yeah it was two weeks yeah it was a two-week separation i told him i was leaving uh and i didn't know if i was coming back i was going back to california where my family if he didn't get his stuff together um yeah but it was more it wasn't it wasn't in a nasty way or anything like that it was just you know looking at it very nicely i'm going to leave you no it's just luck you know no life's too short i mean no harm no disrespect but i'm going to leave you i'm going to tell you that i uh thought about it yeah i mean i thought about it that's something about it i thought about it i mean i got i have women approaching me every day and nice looking women nice looking women and i figured like what if what if i do and terry don't find out and uh what if terry mercer around the world i'm not an ugly ducky no no i said i thought about it kitchen sink hair i thought about it that's it that's all it i thought about it think about it all you better do don't you appreciate that he's been honest here yes i mean i appreciate it but i don't like him to go out and look at other women if he don't want me to look at other men i'm not no i'm not looking at no one i'm not approaching anyone they approach me they bother i could be driving down the street someone could wave at me to get my attention and kiss at me and i'm like oh wow now what if terry find out should i mess with this lady found out you know what will happen what what happened you get put out kicked out chops for an alimony i always put the shoe on the other foot always you always put yourself in here yeah yeah like yeah you thought about it his best comment he used to tell me all the time if i had a girl like you i never cheat so that's why i married him okay that's nice have you ever thought about it oh yeah you've thought about it oh yeah mm-hmm especially after she left uh-huh it was like well i have really nothing to lose but i didn't do anything about but you didn't do anything about it okay when we come back how many of these spouses think that their mates talk too much we'll find out you're talking about how well you know your spouse does your spouse talk too much when i first met her okay a friend of mine had told me he said you got to watch it before you seriously start dating her think about this because man does she talk a lot i said no no i said nobody talks that much well we dated for a while we got married okay she we called for pizzas one night there was a couple of couple couples over we were playing cards and stuff we called for pizzas it's in the middle of winter okay i mean it was cold outside man she answered the door when the poor pizza guy comes up and she had him outside talking for 30 minutes i finally had to walk up behind her and like grab her from the door and was like pull her out you know it's like going to leave and i was giving him we were and so on and so forth i love her anyway though she's great so you had a conversation about see the pizza man comes with i'm like here's your money where's the pizza that's what i said yeah so you carry on a long conversation you talk about everything all the time yeah yeah yeah definitely and you know that go to the mic right but you the mike's close to you right yes okay lady and white go to the mic yes this man talks more than anything your husband he finds something in common with everybody i mean he can find something in common i'm telling you i don't care what it's about who it is anytime we go anywhere i mean the pizza man anything it's like i just have to stay and i talk a lot uh-huh and but here i am no matter where we are listen you can't talk anywhere i mean talks a lot you talk a lot i mean yeah yeah uh-huh yes uh the other night we went out to a bar and i'm standing there talking to some people and i looked across the bar and i waved to him and he comes walking back over and i said some of those friends you knew and he said no just people i met everywhere we go this man talks to everyone in the bar you know they all walk away so i have to start talking to the person next to me i see him across the bar waving yeah i know you're on the you've been on this show before you talk a lot pat i know hope for you to give me a chance he thinks i talk a lot he told me to shut up and put my hand down since i've been sitting here so i i've been trying to be quiet she's been in this audience lots of times and she talks all the time talk talk talk talk she does doesn't she talks a lot absolutely did your wife talk a lot or does she talk a lot you talk a lot it takes her 20 minutes to tell a one minute story one time i was ordering a catalog order from pennies and i just started talking to the woman he said he thought i was talking to a girlfriend you know because i was what were you talking to the catalog woman about um our sex life okay next question who's the tightest with the money you or your spouse 47 of the men said they were 44 the women said they were she is she is the tight is with the money i definitely am hold on to a dollar to george washington screams screams ah yeah is that what you do well i just think he's very frivolous with his money it's always every other week it seems like a new pair of running shoes when we first moved into our house we put up a basketball hoop he did and he said that he needed a new basketball when he had one but he had a leather ball there and he said you can't bounce the leather ball outside and some of his logic it just doesn't click well she gives me a 10 bucks a week allowance you know like when you're a little kid a little more but if i'm going a little bit more she gives you 11. come on when we come back speaking of talking to the pennies catalog woman and telling her about your sex life do you tell your best friend details about your husband that he wouldn't want you to tell we'll talk about that when we come back what we want to know is we asked the women with our gallup poll uh do you ever discuss with a friend details about your husband or your marriage that he would not approve of if he knew i do all the time with gayle but uh most women said well 36 of the women said yes and 64 said no you said what uh this summer i went on a trip to acapulco with three other uh women that were we were cheerleaders since junior high school and this was our first reunion that since we had had since well probably about 12 years and we would go to dinner at night and we would start talking about everybody's husband and uh all sorts of um particulars she told the woman at the penny's catalog county so well we just we would compare maybe like sizes we would how many times a different varieties things like that and actually it was kind of they were the the closest friends that i could ever talk to and i never had been able to talk to anybody about it before like my mother or my mother-in-law or my grandmother so not the kind of thing you discussed with mom no it sure was so what you felt better uh after it was all over with i did feel better because after we made our comparisons we seem to be in the norm and [Applause] so do you appreciate being discussed well quite frankly uh i've known these girls for 12 years and they've always called every two or three times a week and they say hi mike is cindy home and now it's like hi mike you can just you can just see him you can see the smurfs i was gonna tell you cindy i wouldn't be having those discussions with the dads anyway anyway so have you really noticed a change mike are you just kidding us here well yeah i've noticed change and uh i didn't know i was normal she didn't tell me that part of it no no you considered yourself a bow beverage i know way okay that's what she meant to say that's what she meant to say for what length of time if any would you enjoy getting away from your spouse about a weekend a weekend men on our national average said two days and women said four so two days of well we've had five little boys in eight years and i think if i'm gone for longer than a weekend the house would be in shambles when i got home but you would like to get away for a couple of days yeah how long would you like to get away from about a week about a week yeah i like to go on uh like business trips and stuff like that for a week's about a good length of time yeah yeah you say what well i would i don't like to leave my spouse i enjoy being with him we got married three weeks ago so we're new [Applause] of course we asked this question of the women do you wish you married a man with more money sometimes i do i uh when we drive downtown for something during vacation i'll mention to my daughter look at these boats out here you gotta come and hang around here and i think that uh i'm always you know saying to them get a job in a hospital hang around doctors you know go work by lawyers and but that's a joke because according to the national survey we asked only 18 of the women said that they wish they were married to a man with more money which i found 18 you said they were lying they were lying absolutely be on stand up [Laughter] absolutely because there isn't anybody in the world that can honestly say that they wouldn't worry about um you know a few less things if they had more money it doesn't necessarily mean i would trade him for somebody that had more money i would just want him to have more money for what she had she has spent all my money that's the problem okay okay and you all believe that's true yeah that you'd like for your spouse to have more money not marry somebody with more money but they don't want us to work for it they want us to have more money but they don't want us to work harder for it right like spend more time away from home they want you to have more money but just have it yes just have it just be easier it'll be a lot easier okay we'll be back in a moment thanks a lot [Applause] [Music] [Applause] let me say all you couples have been really terrific and i appreciate you answering our questions we're going out on this question which caused a lot of ruckus here during the commercial break we asked who is the better driver you are your wife mike number four i'm the better driver my wife is going to try to convince you that she is but i'm much who's the better driver i am the better driver i can drive a motorcycle motorhome a truck you name it okay who's the better driver my number three to a myth that my husband is because after 28 years i taught him how to do it he gets us there in half the time but i obey all the laws that's true okay okay who's the better driver he's a better driver he taught me how to drive he's better driver and well he tells me when he wants me to drive did i drive so good that i'm a good driver so i think i'm the better driver who's the better driver well she's speaking about nintendo [Laughter] [Applause] guest accommodations are provided by the inn at university

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Id: dyFmpjmEBv0

Length: 43min 56sec (2636 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 09 2020